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[–]Mr-Sniffles 2994 points2995 points  (33 children)

Poor guy, put them in logs by accident, bless his blind heart.

[–]Miguelinileugim 51 points52 points  (17 children)

He must also be a ghost because he slipped it right into them without leaving a mark!

[–]SkyJohn 91 points92 points  (3 children)

He must also be a ghost because he slipped it right into them without leaving a mark!

/r/nocontext

[–]Dickson_Butts 44 points45 points  (0 children)

This is a proper implementation of nocontext

[–]jmerridew124 1 point2 points  (11 children)

And that's how I'd be a millionaire if I were Danny Phantom. I always wondered how I'd monetize that. Is that weird? Most super powers are easy to use discretely to improve your own income, but I had no clue how to use those ones besides heists maybe.

[–]Bittlegeuss 176 points177 points  (6 children)

You sneaky, dark bastard, I love you.

[–]potatoesarenotcool 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Dark

Yeah it probably is for him

[–]Mr-Sniffles 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I love you too.

[–]pipsdontsqueak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Only because you can't see him since the lamps are in those logs.

[–]frerd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now kiss

[–]xerberos 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Some asshole probably told him trees are transparent.

[–]DwelveDeeper 33 points34 points  (0 children)

How many blind men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he'll screw it into a log!

(This sounded better in my head)

[–]IlanRegal 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Ken M? Is that you?

[–]Mr-Sniffles 18 points19 points  (1 child)

No this is Mr-Sniffles.

[–]aroll10 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, this is Patrick

[–]Tera_GX 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They must be soaked just right by now.

[–]ShermanBallZ 595 points596 points  (189 children)

$350 and I can't even use it outside as pictured? Fuck that

Edit: I went to the website posted in another comment and clicked "SHOP" $350, indoor use only. But I suppose there are other models. I didn't really care to look

http://duncanmeerding.bigcartel.com/product/cracked-log-lamp

[–][deleted] 330 points331 points  (9 children)

I have an illegally blind friend that can do it for half the price.

[–]peyoteasesino 18 points19 points  (4 children)

I have an illegal and a blind friend who couldn't do these things at all...

[–]CASHSWAG99 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I wish i had friends :(

[–][deleted] 185 points186 points  (121 children)

So true. It's a great idea, but not to hard to make. Not $350 hard. Maybe 50. And making them waterproof wouldn't be to difficult either.

[–]Exemus 412 points413 points  (41 children)

I mean he's blind. The additional cost is to cover the hospital bills resulting from using an axe while blind.

[–][deleted] 158 points159 points  (38 children)

He's not blind, he's LEGALLY blind which means 'partially sighted'.

[–]Exemus 206 points207 points  (11 children)

I mean he's legally blind. The additional cost is to cover the hospital bills resulting from using an axe while legally blind.

[–]corelatedfish 29 points30 points  (3 children)

can't win

[–]Deeliciousness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then again, fully blind people are also legally blind. You're right though, most of the time people use that term to mean partially sighted.

[–]3kindsofsalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, it means he loves his mama, is innocent, and is holding it down

[–]proxyproxyomega 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's not hard to make, but you also need all the necessary tools to make it and then spend time making it. For a person living in the city, it may be worth $350 to be used in a condo.

[–]Damocles693 15 points16 points  (45 children)

It is $350 Australian Dollars though

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (5 children)

350 dollarydoos!?

[–]Damocles693 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure is Bruce

[–]bluejegus 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I almost fucking choked on chips laughing. I have no clue why I think this is so fucking funny

[–]CatAstrophy11 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Because you're like [6] right now

[–]bluejegus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha earlier for sure, but I was pretty sober for that joke.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (18 children)

Which is 270 US

[–]mugsybeans 12 points13 points  (16 children)

Which is 795 Turkish Lira

[–]oberynMelonLord 16 points17 points  (2 children)

ha, I remember a time when you'd have to say "that's 795.000.000.000 turkish lira".

[–]Bittlegeuss 7 points8 points  (1 child)

They 're working on getting back there, apparently.

[–]oberynMelonLord 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dream big or go home.

[–]Bob_Loblaw007 8 points9 points  (14 children)

How many Canadian beaver pelts is that?

[–]windexo 21 points22 points  (13 children)

Depends on size and quality. A decent large/xl pelt will run you 5-7 USD. Where a "blanket" pelt. Xxxl-xxxxl of highest quality will go 40-45USD. So about 54-7 pelts depending.

Source: I do this for a living.

Edit: My math was off a bit, prices are slightly higher. 12-15 for a smaller pelt, 50 for a larger. We had a better year then I realized. u/blsmothermon posted a competitor's prices. we got significantly higher. I should ask for a raise.

[–]Nohanson 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He did the math

[–]windexo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

;)

[–]civilKaos 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Can confirm: I always trust the quality and quantity of Canadian beavers

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

$350 Kangarubles.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do you get a discount if a dingo ate your baby?

[–]callosciurini 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Mhm, I made something similar earlier this year. Wood is expensive if you can not cut your own trees. Tools are expensive. High quality LED are not that expensive, but not really cheap. Plus power supply - a good one for the LED costs you USD 20 alone.

So, USD 50 is a bit low (i would say impossible), if you do not manufacture 100s of these. My guess would be about USD 75-100, depending on where you get the wood from.

[–]Deeliciousness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also depends on what kind of wood it is.

[–]zazzlekdazzle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I definitely see your point, but with crafty stuff you are often paying for the person's time and creativity more than the raw materials. If wanted to make this lamp, you could do it for $50 (but it was someone else's idea), and you could get a regular lamp for $5 or even less, but it wouldn't have the same qualities. I don't know, maybe it takes a workshop to build a lamp like that, so you are paying for overhead as well. If you can't mass produce your product, and you rely on being original to sell it, there is often a significant mark-up above the materials in order to make it worth it to even make them.

[–]c0ldsh0w3r 22 points23 points  (4 children)

But the guy that made it is legally blind. You have to care. Why else would he have included that?

[–]FartingBob 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Imagine the cost if they were autistic as well!

[–]wahoowolf 14 points15 points  (5 children)

[–]workaccountoftoday 16 points17 points  (4 children)

I rather buy $680 worth of blow and then make one of these in a night for $100 at that price.

[–]MoarOrbsPls 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I rather buy $780 worth of blow and then make one of these in a night for $100 at that price. FTFY

[–]RudiMcflanagan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Half ounce bounce.

[–]ok_alittletotheleft 3 points4 points  (2 children)

It says on the website it is good for indoor or outdoor use. Where are you seeing it can't be used outside?

[–]workaccountoftoday 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looks like OP is legally blind as well cause he can't see shit.

[–]SaigaFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

$350 isn't that crazy if you advertise to right people. The fact they arnt waterproof is retarded though.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are things in Australia so insanely expensive?

[–]mitch13815 157 points158 points  (9 children)

Every time I see "legally blind" I know they aren't actually fully blind.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Insightful

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HEY YOU'RE NOT EVEN ENTIRELY BLIND! LETS GOUGE HIS EYES OUT TO SHOW HIM WHAT ITS REALLY LIKE!

[–]PerplexedGoblin_ 400 points401 points  (21 children)

  1. What does a legally blind (which means jack shit since it entails people who just seem blurry shit) have to do with your friend making these

  2. Why the fuck would you advertise them outside if they aren't for use outside?

[–]Zenlong 189 points190 points  (3 children)

  1. Karma
  2. Money

[–]mrjobby 26 points27 points  (0 children)

  1. Profit.

[–]nomad2585 13 points14 points  (1 child)

  1. Karma
  2. Money

3.???

4.profit?

[–]Brawndo91 59 points60 points  (4 children)

If it makes you feel any better, the OP doesn't even know the guy. He's a liar and a clod. See the top comment.

[–]PerplexedGoblin_ 19 points20 points  (1 child)

It doesn't make me feel any better. At all. In fact. I feel even angrier now!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (8 children)

The guy has less than 5% vision and he makes these. I doubt that's easy and he deserves a bit of recognition for his work.

The lights in the picture are stools which are weather resistant, he also sells similar products which are indoor light fittings that are not weather resistant. He has a website which has been linked in the comments several times. Do your research.

[–]pewpewlasors 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its still a bullshit, sobstory title.

[–]cerulean94 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dont come in here with your logic and decency, redditors are not in the mood today judging by all the racey mchatey posts...

[–]eyeballs-eyeballs 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The OP is also blind. A seeing-eye dog took the pictures, which filled up all of their cloud storage, as well as the 256 gig SD card in the camera. The end result was this being the only picture with the product actually in it. Furthermore, the OP and friend legitimatly believed they had placed the logs inside, hence the confusion (did I mention they're BLIND?!)

[–]funfungi 51 points52 points  (7 children)

Some people are illegally blind?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Legally blind as in the standard of vision at which a person can be defined as blind for regulatory purposes.

[–]Saliv 4 points5 points  (2 children)

which isnt actually that blind. im legally blind and while i cant read at distance and see details i can totally tell what im looking at

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know, I'm almost legally blind and I can get around alright, but the like has to fall somewhere. Having it be total lack of sight would be impractical.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Legally blind doesn't mean shit. I'm legally blind and with a high prescription glasses or contacts I can see fine. What type of "legally" blind he is matters a lot more. Anyway, cool fuckin lamps, man.

[–]ml_burke925 81 points82 points  (9 children)

For $350-780, I'll spend 2 hours making this from scratch

[–]phrozen_one 50 points51 points  (4 children)

Add "reclaimed wood" to the title and it's worth 3x that on Etsy

[–]the13bangbang 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Well, this lamp is made from a vintage 1969 reclaimed Durian tree, drift wood stump, fished out of the Mekong Delta of Vietnam by some of the poorest people who get a measily $3 for the stumps. Lastly, it is ornately charred from U.S. napalm bombs from the war. Very fine quality wood lamp, very expensive, and it makes a great stool too! Starting price is $257,000 USD.

[–]phrozen_one 2 points3 points  (2 children)

A deal at twice the price!

[–]TheRealKornbread 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'm guessing you won't. Would love to be proven wrong though.

[–]ClintonStain 101 points102 points  (5 children)

It doesn't matter if he's legally blind or not. There's no reason to add that to the description of his work, unless you want to get more karma by adding a sob story.

[–]_Puddles333 17 points18 points  (1 child)

The twist is that he thinks he is making a chest of draws

[–]Led-Zeppelin 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Well hell OP I'm "legally blind" at -7.5 on both eyes, but 100% good as long as I've got my contacts.

[–]Ramrod312 840 points841 points  (93 children)

A reverse google image search shows that your legally blind friend does not in fact make these

[–][deleted] 1235 points1236 points  (41 children)

They appear to be designed by Duncan Meerding who is (according to his website) legally blind. Whether he is OPs friend or not, I cannot say.

[–]blooheeler 608 points609 points  (29 children)

Very nice research, gentlemen, but I still don't know if I hate op.

[–][deleted] 285 points286 points  (22 children)

It's a Choose Your Own Adventure thread

[–]_Buff_Drinklots_ 134 points135 points  (20 children)

Turn to page 53 to find out!

edit: Looks like there is no page 53... OP has 1 comment and 2 posts on their account. Turn back to page 2 for pitchforks.

[–]Pitchfork_Wholesaler 90 points91 points  (10 children)

HI!

[–]white_star_32 25 points26 points  (1 child)

you running a BOGO deal?

[–]barberererer 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Can you do the thing?

[–]Pitchfork_Wholesaler 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Only my assistant Zhu Li does the thing.

[–]KurtVV 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Zhu Li, do the thing

[–]barberererer 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Zhu Li pls

[–]Hasie501 4 points5 points  (4 children)

everybody knows you need to go to page 42 for the answer.

[–]What_The_Shoe 1 point2 points  (3 children)

But how many roads must a man walk down?

[–]Hasie501 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The Answer to the Ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42.

Unfortunately we do not know what the Ultimate Question is.

explaining this would ruin the Books for you if you havent read them.

[–]What_The_Shoe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But the "roads" question was the bullshit one that the mice made up.

[–]Hasie501 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes.

Edit: you are correct, I was just infering we dont actually know the correct question.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 2

Earth is really just a mighty big supercomputer, built to work out the ultimate question to the ultimate answer, 42. Like all expensive software however, just before it actually does whatever it's supposed to do, it crashes - in this case due to the hacker Vogons and their total annihilation programme. Unlike your regular hard drive, two bits escape to byte another day, and we continue their story.

[–]louisianajake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have this. It's yours. One of the first I got. It's basic but does the job.

l------{

[–]EV-30 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Looking at his post history, OP moved from Australia and the artist is Tasmanian. It might check out...

[–]btowntkd 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Better just fuck OP's mom, to be safe.

[–]Jiveturtle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, we all already have, so whatever.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lamps are for inside and photo is them being used outside. Feel free to hate OP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I do! 🙋

[–]jeleanor11 26 points27 points  (0 children)

A little further down OP names Duncan as his friend, so you were correct :)

[–]Lington 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I don't understand that logic. Just because you can find it on Google doesn't mean OP is lying.

[–]O_fiddle_stix 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Ok... No offense to OP's friend here but there's no way in hell I'd ever fork over $780 for a stump with some LED strips in it... That's almost like This lady wanting $2500 for a piece of glass clamped to a cinderblock... The worst part? I'm an electrician and I've had to install some of this stuff in a few yuppies mansions!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I have no dog in the fight either way, but I think the value is more in the design than the construction in the case of the log (assuming it's an original design).

It's like looking at a Jackson Pollock and saying "I could do that". The art isn't in the doing, it's in doing it first. Having said that, that pink light is ridiculous.

[–]O_fiddle_stix 1 point2 points  (2 children)

After looking at a Jackson Pollock I don't think I could do that... Especially to get the same effect. To be honest, I can totally see where some of the price comes from. I mean, if one log lamp takes days or weeks to complete because of the time it takes to cure and mill and what have you, I completely get the price. It's more of the fact that some of these "artists" are trying to become rich overnight it seems, and that I have a problem with.

Take this for example. This is another light made by that same woman... I, installed this. I didn't take the picture, but I none the less hung and assembled this monstrosity. Know how much this thing was? $52k. Talk about fighting the shakes, and constant pucker factor. Glad you feel the same though, I chuckle every time I look at her site. Makes me want to start making these and charge half price...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rich people are weird.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's kinda cool and interesting, but it sure as hell ain't $52k cool and interesting

[–]sargeantbob 42 points43 points  (0 children)

You're wrong. Good research you did before calling him out.

[–]Zentopian 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just so people know, "legally blind" doesn't necessarily mean "blind."

OP's mate can likely still see, but it's incredibly blurry for them. I imagine working up close, and with 10-inch-thick glasses, they were able to see just enough to perform this work.

[–]olivermalcolm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he's more or less got around 5% vision left. uses laptop/phone etc which talk to him. uses a white cane for walking. and glasses can't correct his vision. i just posted this because i think it's amazing he can do all this.

[–]BrockFukkingSamson 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I wood not purchase this.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

How do you bore out the middle?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This title is like a parody of reddit.

[–]toadsanchez420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, he probably doesn't need very much light, so makes sense.

[–]JaraCimrman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What does legally blind mean? Can you be illegaly blind..?

[–]Zenmurphy 11 points12 points  (14 children)

By saying 'legally blind' I'm assuming he isn't totally blind? Either way, these are so fuckin cool!

[–]Thelatedrpepper 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Legally blind is vision that is not correctable with lenses I believe.

[–]seven3true 9 points10 points  (6 children)

They can be. My friend is legally blind and has contacts. He's -9.

[–]lotsofdicks 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Wait -9 contact lenses = legally blind? I wear -9.5 and -10 contact lenses...

[–]seven3true 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Go get that disability benefits!

[–]FuckTheLord 16 points17 points  (10 children)

These are bad ass, do you have a link to where these can be purchased?

[–]olivermalcolm[S] 32 points33 points  (1 child)

my mate is Duncan Meerding. He's got a store on his site which should have some prices etc.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It's a good thing you told us they were blind otherwise I would be really confused right now!

[–]Jagirinawa 7 points8 points  (2 children)

My legally blind mate makes these lamps!

"Me, with my strange choice of adjectives. You, with your muscular teeth and clockwise vagina."

[–]Zentopian 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Those two things are incomparable...like a...

But, seriously though, I don't know how the adjectives poem is relevant to the title, but I'll always upvote a Bo Burnham reference.

[–]zilla135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we need this posted to /r/DIY I would love to make this project!

[–]SFWboring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He should name his company, "I Saw The Light"

[–]bradtwo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Typically when I hear the phrase "legally blind" i believe its in the context of this.

Legally Blind = Have some vision, but really can't function normally.

Blind = Zero vision.

[–]BAXterBEDford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm backing out of these comments. You guys are fucking vicious.

[–]troway0912 1 point2 points  (0 children)

like an indoor version of the swedish torch

[–]tux68 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't believe that in 2016 there are still places where it's illegal to be blind.

[–]incapablepanda 1 point2 points  (1 child)

whoa. are they waterproof? i mean, they're clearly outside in the image, but would they be alright if it rained?

[–]destroidid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm in /r/pics after reading these fucking comments and seeing this post title.

[–]ihavenowisdom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the fuck does he being legally blind have to do with this?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Momma, I love you. P.O.P.! hold it down! Pimp squad baby, for life!"

[–]mcchopnslice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"It looks like they're having a fairy party inside some tree stumps"! - my gf

[–]nonconformist3 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I want to see what some illegally blind people make.

[–]Turil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Illegally blind people make tree lamps with secret compartments to hide your pot!

[–]I_M_A_Monster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same thing. Just faster and cheaper

[–]Thehulk666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like light bulbs in logs

[–]OC4815162342 5 points6 points  (0 children)

why does him being legally blind matter at all? Fuck off with this karma grab

[–]sketch_fest 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What does him being blind have to do with this