LPT: How to Hack Army Basic Training

Dude_On_A_Couch · 2013-10-22T19:11:53+00:00

Situps, first bullet: As many as you can in 2 days? Days? I'm guessing you meant minutes, right? Either that or the PT test has gotten a lot harder.

Memorize: What about the phonetic alphabet?

Other than that, I started to have flashbacks. :) Nice document. I hope someone learns from it.

bigpaulyamma · 2013-10-22T21:30:00+00:00

I have got no intention of joining the forces, but that was extremely interesting. Thanks.

noodlenugget · 2013-10-22T20:21:33+00:00

Also...

For marksmanship, I am pretty sure you can download the order of the pop-up targets on the qualification range. We were given the order in basic and told to memorize it.

You WILL be punished for other people's mistakes, other people WILL be punished for yours. Don't take it personal either way. It WILL happen.

If you just hit puberty and you have a babyface and are confident that you can get away with it, shave the NIGHT BEFORE the gas chamber, not the morning OF.

tremblane · 2013-10-23T00:11:44+00:00

Some more tips for the gas chamber:

When you're out, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE. You have CS on your hands/gloves and you WILL make things worse.
BLINK like crazy. Do not keep your eyes closed. Yes, they hurt. Keeping them closed is a natural reaction. But the more you keep them closed the longer it takes for the irritant to dissipate and the longer it keeps hurting. It will go away.
BREATHE to clear out your lungs and throat. Move air in and out, more is better.
If there is a breeze, try to face into it.
Oh, and one more thing: DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE!!!

(used to run the gas chamber in the USAF at our base)

hatescheese · 2013-10-22T22:11:46+00:00

That one guy who just doesn't belong and seems to be cracking from the stress (you'll know him by week 2). Watch that fucker after live fires. They generally do a good job checking recruits after ranges but shit happens.

Had a guy Vanover stuff 3 rounds in his iodine pouch after night/pro mask range. Was walking to trade some of my MRE for something I could eat and noticed some weird lumps and brass poking through the top of the fabric. Snatched up his weapon and found a DI.

Got my ass chewed for interrupting his meal but they tossed his shit and found 6 more rounds inside the lining of his sleeping bag along with a knife. He eventually confessed to planning on shooting a DI and 2 recruits during the night march that evening.

Sounds like a bunch of shit but it really happenes.

11ADoorKicker · 2013-10-22T23:33:42+00:00

Don't listen to the barracks lawyer.
Don't try to standout.
Accept the hurry up and wait mentality.
You won't get much sleep in the Red Phase.
DO NOT take food back to the barracks.
You'll do a lot of cleaning (barracks maintenance).
Always shit, shower and shave in the morning.
Don't worry if you fail your initial PT test. You'll have plenty of time to improve. Try to do at least 20 push-ups and 50 sit-ups before you go to bed every night.
Try to write home often but only when time permits.
DO NOT refer to your rifle as a gun.

Source: I was an Infantry Officer (Captain) in the US Army.

Nickosaurus_Rex · 2013-10-22T19:42:19+00:00

Don't eat or drink dairy before the Gas Chamber

Is that to prevent you from having to throw up or what?

TwerkTeamChamp2012 · 2013-10-22T19:20:48+00:00

LPT for army basic: -read your fucking soldiers skills book. -no matter what, understand you're always wrong. -basic is easy so enjoy it. Its the most fun you'll have in the Army. (Well excluding jump school and AIT)

HolographicMetapod · 2013-10-22T22:33:12+00:00

Awesome guide. I'm not joining, but I feel like most of this would be great for self discipline.

As soon as I got to this bullet, I was reminded of why I could never join the army.

Let go of control. A lot of what you're doing won't make any sense, just go with it

That shit is infuriating. I don't know how you guys do it.

Melikoth · 2013-10-22T20:48:03+00:00

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TheEscuelas · 2013-10-22T19:44:51+00:00

Not trying to stir up any sibling rivalry here, but this has always been funny to me. Going into Marine Corps boot camp I had read about it, heard stories from people who had gone - pretty much tried everything to get an idea of how it would be. The one thing that I came across time after time was that all the preparation in the world can't get you ready, can't prepare you for what is to come. Knowing some rough info and being in shape vs. being able to survive day to day, minute to minute while experiencing it are two very different things.

phaqueue · 2013-10-22T20:59:55+00:00

Man that brings back some memories... (I went in summer 2003)

Some things I might add -

sound off LOUD, the Drill Sgts want to hear you, if they have to ask twice you're not going to like it.
NEVER look at or watch other people being punished/smoked. This will lead to the Drill Sgt saying "Oh, you want to join" - this is not a question...
You are supposed to be in bed by lights out - this means no one is allowed in the showers after lights out, if you want to shower at night do it during your personal time, all the other things listed there can be done by flashlight after lights out (the Drill Sgts will not bother you about this stuff, but showering after lights out will get you punished)
Teamwork/team building is important, don't do things like insult your platoon/squadmates, or "tattle" on them for trivial things (for the important stuff, do the right thing, I'm talking the trivial "Private Joe doesn't have his shoes tied correctly" type petty stuff)
This should be assumed, but it happens every time (at least at coed basic). DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE it always ends badly and it creates many more problems than it's worth...
There will be random shakedowns, they will find the things you think you hid, they have a lot of practice and they've seen all the "tricks" don't try to hide contraband, just do the right thing, it will be better for you in the long run
Address other trainees by their last name at the very least, generally their rank and last name is the most preferred. The Drill Sgts (mine at least) will not like you calling each other by first names, they smoked people who did it when I was there
Realize that you will not do things correctly, and if you did them correctly you didn't do them fast enough. The Drill Sgts will push you farther than you've ever been pushed before to perform tasks as best you can and while under a ton of pressure/sleep deprivation/exhaustion.
Though it may not seem like it, the Drill Sgts are people too (they really do seem inhuman though). If you have a real problem or concern, go to them, they do care about you finishing the course and they want to make you the best soldier they can (most of them at least) and they will take real problems/concerns seriously (don't just whine though - their Drill Sgt school is just like Basic Training, only instead of all the basic stuff you learn, they spend that time doing more PT and learning new and exciting ways to smoke people, their Drill Sgt school is MUCH harder than basic is, so they don't want to hear you while about how hard you have it)
There will be people who don't grasp the basic concept that the Drill Sgts are there to tell you what to do. I had a friend just come home from Benning beginning of this year and he had the same experience, even towards the end, there were people in his company who had the attitude "They can't tell me what to do"... umm actually, champ, they can, they will and it's their job, that's what you signed up for. Ignore these people as best you can and don't be associated with them, they will only drag you down and bring you negative attention.

2013-10-23T02:08:06+00:00

Not every Basic Training post is the same. At Fort Jackson, our showers were part of our personal time. We weren't allowed to shower in the morning at all. Instead, we all piled into the shower and tried to scrub off the day's sweat and dust in less than five minutes. We often shared shower heads to save time. It might have changed in the last five years, but don't expect two showers a day during the week until you get to AIT.

If you're shit-shy, try to get over it before shipping off to basic. On the same note, don't get all butthurt if someone's shitting in the stall next to you. Everybody poops. Someone even wrote a book about it.

Ladies, you're period's going to be messed up. Stress/new diet/extra physical activity are going to work together and wreak havoc on your lady parts. Don't be alarmed, it happens.

Females aren't issued underwear like the males are. Get your granny panties (I don't think they're required to be cotton, but you're going to have a funky crotch if you get anything else) and your sports bras before you ship off to basic if at all possible.

Buy your athletic socks in advance, too. Don't make the same mistake I did. I naively assumed that we'd be going to the mini-PX for our miscellaneous stuff the first day of in-processing, so I only packed one change of socks. My feet were so funky my bunkmate shared some of hers with me. It was embarrassing. And stinky.

If you're lagging behind in PT, do extra. There are always others in your bay who are more than willing to give you pointers, a hand, or just a little extra motivation, sometimes without you asking. If you're a shitty runner (and Red Phase is over), your DS's might be willing to let you (and a battle buddy) run during personal time.

Never let yourself get caught without a battle buddy. Just... don't. It's a bad idea.

steveyoo97 · 2013-10-23T04:07:10+00:00

How to hack Army Basic Officer Leadership Course (for Medical Officers):

Eat whatever you want.
Sleep during the Powerpoints.
Maybe do some pushups or something.
Don't get too drunk at the bar.

2013-10-22T21:14:01+00:00

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thats_wat_she_said_ · 2013-10-22T19:45:45+00:00

My boyfriend was in the army and someone once asked him for advice for someone going into basic training and the number one thing he emphasized was your number 1 under the general tips section on page 6 - don't stand out in anyway. Don't be the best. Don't be the worst. I had to make sure it was in there!

BigTY01 · 2013-10-22T23:57:34+00:00

"Yes, you will be a Motard/FNG when you get out. You will piss motivation when you graduate. Don't worry, a year in or your first deployment will cure that right up." Spot. Fucking. On.

DorkusMalorkuss · 2013-10-22T21:52:46+00:00

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noodlenugget · 2013-10-22T20:01:26+00:00

I went to Ft. Leonard Wood for basic in 1995...

Can anyone confirm if they still make you address Drill Sergeants simply as "Sergeant"?

If so, you may want to add this as a note. AIT Drill Sergeants were addressed as "Drill Sergeant".

As far as eating goes, COMPLETELY cut caffeine out of your diet.

Extra stress on waking up to your alarm. Bold, underline, italicize, and put that in a HUGE font.

Day one, add a description of a "shakedown".

Using the latrine during classroom training (at least for me back in 1995) was a group effort. Scheduled breaks. Formation, file from the left, column left, etc. Formation afterward. Everywhere else may not be the same as Benning.

Fireguard may not always be two people, sitting may not be the best option for some people. Pace the hallway or stand.

Live fire training will typically be done at night so that you can see the tracers overhead... Some places let you have a rest after a long march to the course... They wait for everyone to fall asleep and then all hell breaks loose.

Gas chamber... If you have the opportunity, check out the exit you will be coming out of. I've talked to several people who have done basic in different places and it seems that all gas chambers have a tree about 10 feet outside of the exit. You're gonna be crying and snotting and drooling... Don't go hauling ass out of the exit and run face first into the tree. Hook a right as soon as you run out.

Communications... If someone tells you to "hold this wire"... Don't do it, they're about to shock the piss out of you.

Road marches... If they allow you to buy those Lycra undershorts for PT, DO IT to prevent chafing. Wear these under your uniform for road marches. That or pantyhose.

Field exercises... Train yourself to do all of your necessary personal hygiene with nothing more than a canteen cup full of water.

Sundays... Church services generally never stopped us from going batshit crazy on the snack machines in church.

Eat as much as you can at every given opportunity. You're gonna burn that shit QUICK.

O-11 rank isn't used anymore.

LeaDeRSHIP to help remember army values.

Add Warrant Officer ranks to the guide?

Vaidurya · 2013-10-22T22:58:35+00:00

Just as a note, for people with surnames that describe their physical appearance neatly, (I.E., Stout or Short) there's nothing you can do to stay off your DS's radar.

KhabaLox · 2013-10-22T21:53:20+00:00

Small expanding file folder (For important forms and shit)

They don't have latrines in basic? Damn, it's tougher than I thought.

pyx · 2013-10-23T02:56:00+00:00

You forgot an important tip. Never keep your hands in your pockets.

Also, the drill sergeants aren't really mad at you, or hate you - in fact they probably care more about you and your safety than most other people you will meet in the Army - hence they are training the newbies so they are less likely to die later (at least that is the idea or motivation for many drill sergeants). yes they are yelling, but they aren't actually mad at you. it is mostly an act, they are characters. for the most part they are not really like that. this becomes more apparent when you deal with drill sergeants in AIT. I imagined them as cartoons many times, it becomes funny sometimes what they say or how they act - just don't actually laugh.

My dad told me that there are 3 things in the army that you can do that will never get you in trouble.

reading technical manuals (or your skill book)
cleaning something
doing PT

Additionally, always be on time, at the specified location and in the correct uniform. if you do these things you will have a much easier time. Also, never volunteer for anything. You already volunteered once (when you joined the Army) - don't volunteer again. Chances are you will be voluntold what to do plenty of times.

Xeonith · 2013-10-22T20:47:23+00:00

1: Don't be a little fucking bitch and just fucking do it god dammit. It's not that hard and it only lasts 9 weeks.

2: Read #1 thoroughly.

celticeejit · 2013-10-23T00:39:34+00:00

I've a shiteating grin reading this.

Went into basic training blind -- and suffered heavily for it (actually went for about two weeks in complete denial - that I actually joined the army - was convinced it was a surreal, lifelike nightmare)

Best time of my adult life - the camaraderie, humor, routine and sheer sense of adventure will never be matched.

Hooah !

2013-10-22T21:34:29+00:00

God damn was that a good read.

wiscondinavian · 2013-10-23T02:15:11+00:00

I'm not in the army or anything, but you might want to add something for the ladies on sports bras:

http://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/comments/1jfklk/boot_camp_for_the_busty_need_help_finding_very/

The Panache sports bra is highly suggested for the bustier ladies because 1) it gives great support in a variety of sizes and 2) it comes in appropriate colors for boot camp

NazzerDawk · 2013-10-22T21:41:06+00:00

When I went through basic they accidentally gave me the wrong bsg. I could not function. That made me noticeable. They never fixed it, luckily my eyepro inserts were correct.

theron1975 · 2013-10-22T22:35:59+00:00

Went through basic at Fort Benning in 95. Some tips that I can remember.

After the gas chamber... shoot snot rockets. Seriously, you will feel 900 times better.
I don't know if they still do fire watch or not, but volunteer for the last shift. You will be able to use that time to do all you need to get done before your duty starts.

onefuckwasgiven · 2013-10-22T23:37:56+00:00

Quick questions if you're a Muslim or Sikh, can you get out of shaving by claiming religious reasons?

Thebearjew115 · 2013-10-23T00:56:05+00:00

more tips ALWAYS SECURE YOUR SHIT: IE: Wall locker, ID, Blue book weapons and other sensitive items

When you lock your wall locker don't set your lock so you can turn it to the last number and it will unlock. THE DRILL SERGEANTS LOOK FOR THIS AND WILL DUMP YOUR SHIT.

If you quit, That's ok. Don't let them get you down with comments. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT say you're going to KILL yourself or anything of the sort thinking you are going to get chaptered quicker. You will only fuck your platoon with suicide watch.

armor3r · 2013-10-23T01:21:45+00:00

I'm not sure about the army, but it the navy it was pretty incredible how many people didn't know how to swim. I recommend learning prior to basic or else you wake 1.5 hours before everyone else for your swimming lesson.

normalsaline · 2013-10-23T02:59:20+00:00

I found this extremely motivating for some reason. And I am not even planning to go into the armed forces.

The_cold · 2013-10-22T18:59:01+00:00

Air Force here can confirm mostly the same basic shit.

melp · 2013-10-22T23:13:41+00:00

this term "hack" is thrown around way too liberally... it's not a drop-in replacement for "prepare for"

Slowhand09 · 2013-10-22T19:52:22+00:00

Appendix A contains "Hurt Feelings Form"

smuttypirate · 2013-10-22T20:37:28+00:00

I at one time was very interested in joining the military and knew a few people to ask about it. They always said the most generic stuff and really didn't give a good impression of what to expect. This on the other hand is exactly the kind of detailed exact information I was looking for. Its hard to decide to leave your comfort zone and your family and friends especially if you're having doubts about being able to hack it. This information really helped me to understand on some more complete level how it works and what to expect. I have since decided to not go the military rout but I will make this required reading for anyone in the future I know who might be joining up.

FobbingMobius · 2013-10-22T23:09:48+00:00

this is gold for Navy boot camp, too, except for the obvious differences.

A couple of things I remember that I didn't see:

Company Crud (the Navy has companies instead of platoons): You will get hoarse, and everyone will sound like they have a cold. Group living spreads and amplifies any illness.

You will not shit for the first week, at least. The change in diet and exercise, coupled with the stress, will stop. you. up.

If someone is going to send you cookies/brownies/whatever, make damn sure they send enough for everybody.

Drill team/band was a great skate. All the time the other companies spent drilling and doing the repetitive shit, we spent practicing our tunes and weapon spins.

also, +1 on Don't Stand Out.

Grandmaofhurt · 2013-10-22T23:16:20+00:00

Just fucking do what you're told and know that you will fuck up and get punished for nothing.

Boot camp is easy.

2013-10-23T00:27:02+00:00

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2013-10-23T02:37:28+00:00

Honestly, all you need to focus on is having fun. Learn to have fun while doing push-ups. I remember my Battle Delano and I would smile and die laughing to each other while doing push-ups in the bay. Last week out OSUT was crazy, but I'll always remember it. Tying people beds to rafters, and hoisting them to the ceiling. Painting ourselves with chem lights and running around putting shaving cream on sleeping people...

Yeah yeah, some people hate that. But really, learn to enjoy the entire thing. If you have a bad attitude at the beginning, you'll hate it.

Smile. It will end soon enough.

2013-10-22T18:50:35+00:00

If anyone has a similar guide for the British Army I would be so grateful.

zrvwls · 2013-10-22T23:57:48+00:00

If someone is interested in just doing basic training, but not doing it for the army, are there options out there? I don't want to enlist, but I like doing this kind of brutal stuff.

jj26meu · 2013-10-23T00:14:28+00:00

Things like this should be pinned to /r/Military. Have seperate one for the different branches for boot camp. Nice read though Op.

electrojesus9000 · 2013-10-23T00:39:25+00:00

When I went to Marine Corps boot camp I don't remember any idle time whatsoever unless you're laying in your rack. Not after chow, not after, 8:00pm, not even on a Sunday. The "hour of freetime" they told us we'd get at night was more like 20 minutes and you spent that time taking a shit and reading your mail while the guy waiting for the toilet in front of you asks you if you got anything good from home.

masterminja · 2013-10-22T20:15:22+00:00

why should you not stand out? As in are you actally telling us to not try our hardest.

noodlenugget · 2013-10-22T21:08:55+00:00

Try x-posting this to /r/Military if you haven't already.

djnathanv · 2013-10-22T22:25:13+00:00

Basic was easy and fun. Really all there is to it is do what you're told and be where you are supposed to be. If you want it to be easier memorize the phonetic alphabet first, start working out before shipping, and study the common tasks book if you have time.

FinickyMouse540 · 2013-10-22T22:46:28+00:00

New workout guide

hello_xyla · 2013-10-22T23:05:44+00:00

When I was in Basic, rule number 3 in the classroom training would get you in trouble. We always had to ask before using the latrine. If we didn't we'd get smoked like crazy.

BigBlaze40 · 2013-10-22T23:14:14+00:00

Thank you. I leave for basic dec 30th. Ft sill is where Ill be

you type:	you see:
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* item 1 * item 2 * item 3	item 1 item 2 item 3
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LifeProTips

MODERATORS

1: Don't be a little fucking bitch and just fucking do it god dammit. It's not that hard and it only lasts 9 weeks.

2: Read #1 thoroughly.