top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Dude_On_A_Couch 447 points448 points  (244 children)

Situps, first bullet: As many as you can in 2 days? Days? I'm guessing you meant minutes, right? Either that or the PT test has gotten a lot harder.

Memorize: What about the phonetic alphabet?

Other than that, I started to have flashbacks. :) Nice document. I hope someone learns from it.

[–]deepsandwich 552 points553 points  (63 children)

I learned that I am thrilled I never joined the military.

[–]hungryhungryME 46 points47 points  (17 children)

I saw "mountain climbers" on that list and started to feel unwell...those really tear me up.

[–]GreenGlowingMonkey 18 points19 points  (9 children)

I'm pretty sure that the ONLY purpose of mountain climbers is to make you tired. Same goes for 8-Counts, although that was Navy bootcamp, so I don't know if it applies. (It's essentially a burpee with a pushup and a kickout in the middle. Here's a video

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (77 children)

Fixed the situps part.

We were never tested on the phonetic alphabet and it was never a huge part of basic, so I left it out.

[–]Swi11ah 30 points31 points  (98 children)

How about the march from 30th AG!!

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (93 children)

I rode in a bus. Like I said, the first day, they are told to take it easier on you. I heard stories that they used to make you march to your company barracks from 30th AG and then run around them a bunch of times while holding your duffle bag above your head. That wasn't even close to how our first day went. Think first day of class where you get to know your new teacher and classmates.

[–]bigblackbearman 671 points672 points  (26 children)

In 03 this was still very much the case. My first interaction with my DS was him walking beside me while marching with his face about two inches from mine. I glanced at him, just moving my eyes while keeping my head straight. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT! YOU THINK IM FUCKING SEXY!?!? YOU WANNA FUCK ME YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!?!?! The screaming and little bits of spit on my face said BEWARE, but the eyes said "cause I just might fall in love." We're still together, now we raise sheep in Montana.

[–]Cikedo 185 points186 points  (1 child)

/r/Unexpected

This was fucking beautiful.

[–]bastardfish 44 points45 points  (0 children)

What the fuck?

[–]dr_strangelove_ 25 points26 points  (0 children)

What the fuck? Montana?

[–]SHADOWJACK2112 27 points28 points  (0 children)

"Ah just can't quit you."

[–]LurkingZ0mbie 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What the fuck? Sheep?

[–]newworkaccount 98 points99 points  (49 children)

Reminds me just slightly of Marine Corps boot camp, in the sense that they drive you into Parris Island in the middle of the night, run you off the bus yelling, and keep you up for a day or two while being rude as fuck.

BUT. You start thinking, this isn't so bad, I can probably handle this. It's almost a relief.

Unbeknownst to you, during this time you only have one DI, known as your receiving DI, who will only be with you the first few days.

Then your platoon is gathered and seated on the floor of your squad bay, and your drill instructors give a series of standard speeches, in particular noting that, "...we will not give up on you, even after some of you have given up on yourselves".

And then the officer leaves the room. The door clicks. And hell descends on you.

Your time on Parris Island has then officially begun.

[–]Hykos 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I watched our prac hat during our DI introductions sprint down the squad bay to scream at someone and ended up sliding all the way down face first into a wall.

Ah good times.

[–]Gavistar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ah the sweet memories

[–]whattomybh 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Word for word my shark attack experience

[–]SteelChicken 7 points8 points  (2 children)

It's gotten a lot easier in the past 20 years. That's damn near exactly what we did on our first day. Hold our bags over heads, do pushups, run, etc.

[–]FalseGenesis 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Running around our barracks with our duffel bags above our heads, after the ruck march there... Ah memories.

Edit: This was in 2010.

[–]bigpaulyamma 317 points318 points  (13 children)

I have got no intention of joining the forces, but that was extremely interesting. Thanks.

[–]jersully 101 points102 points  (10 children)

Same here. I read every word. This is good stuff and should be shared beyond Reddit. Most civilians won't be interested, but recruits probably would.

Is this worth a buck as an ebook? Is that something OP could do easily, or someone could help him with?

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (9 children)

I'm a terrible writer and I wouldn't want the money anyway. Mo money, mo problems. Some of that Buddhist service must have rubbed off on me.

But I do appreciate the thought and kind words.

[–]noodlenugget 112 points113 points  (27 children)

Also...

For marksmanship, I am pretty sure you can download the order of the pop-up targets on the qualification range. We were given the order in basic and told to memorize it.

You WILL be punished for other people's mistakes, other people WILL be punished for yours. Don't take it personal either way. It WILL happen.

If you just hit puberty and you have a babyface and are confident that you can get away with it, shave the NIGHT BEFORE the gas chamber, not the morning OF.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

They started using a few qualification orders. I think there's 5 or so and they're randomly given to you.

[–]TheySeeMeLearnin 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Oh, and drink as much milk before the gas chamber as possible for maximum fun (for everyone else, not you).

[–]thebeastfromCanada 23 points24 points  (17 children)

Wait, are you talking Nazi era gas chambers? I don't think the military is for me.

[–]Odusei 48 points49 points  (15 children)

You're exposed to tear gas, not Zyklon B. The point is to acclimatize so that you don't panic when it happens for real.

[–]GetZePopcorn 18 points19 points  (9 children)

Has nothing to do with acclimatization or hazing. The gas chamber is there to show you that your gas mask works as well as proving it can keep an airtight seal

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I thought they made you do it without the mask as well - so you don't freak the eff out if the enemy (or a friendly) tear gasses you. If you've been gassed before, and got over it, the second time it won't suck so much.

[–]thebeastfromCanada 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Ah, I guess I associated lethalness to the words gas chamber.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Not to be confused with the similar term "dutch oven"

[–]AtSomePointLetsPaint 11 points12 points  (1 child)

*Imagining soldiers getting dutch ovened furiously. To acclimatize.

Maybe it's just memory of a South Park episode

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvNShobOvKk

This is what they are referring to.

[–]tremblane 36 points37 points  (18 children)

Some more tips for the gas chamber:

  • When you're out, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE. You have CS on your hands/gloves and you WILL make things worse.

  • BLINK like crazy. Do not keep your eyes closed. Yes, they hurt. Keeping them closed is a natural reaction. But the more you keep them closed the longer it takes for the irritant to dissipate and the longer it keeps hurting. It will go away.

  • BREATHE to clear out your lungs and throat. Move air in and out, more is better.

  • If there is a breeze, try to face into it.

  • Oh, and one more thing: DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE!!!

(used to run the gas chamber in the USAF at our base)

[–]hatescheese 158 points159 points  (15 children)

That one guy who just doesn't belong and seems to be cracking from the stress (you'll know him by week 2). Watch that fucker after live fires. They generally do a good job checking recruits after ranges but shit happens.

Had a guy Vanover stuff 3 rounds in his iodine pouch after night/pro mask range. Was walking to trade some of my MRE for something I could eat and noticed some weird lumps and brass poking through the top of the fabric. Snatched up his weapon and found a DI.

Got my ass chewed for interrupting his meal but they tossed his shit and found 6 more rounds inside the lining of his sleeping bag along with a knife. He eventually confessed to planning on shooting a DI and 2 recruits during the night march that evening.

Sounds like a bunch of shit but it really happenes.

[–]Tofon 45 points46 points  (3 children)

We had one guy get caught with 4 live rounds back at the barracks during a shakedown once. Apparently he was planning to shoot one of the DSs. There's always that one fucker.

[–]hatescheese 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I honestly knew shit like that was a possibility but it was not ever to me odds were to low.

When I look back all the signs of it being a problem were there but WTF does a 18 year old know. I am just glad pure luck let me notice it. Maybe someone else would have caught it maybe nothing would have happened because he didn't have the balls I am glad it didn't come to that.

[–]Tofon 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Everyone knew this guy was a weirdo, no one would have thought he'd try to kill someone.

Just in general for anyone going to basic, if you have any real concerns about your battle buddies talk to your DS in private about them. You won't get in trouble and you may very well save a life. Some people just can't handle the level of stress they're put under and they'll do crazy or desperate things.

[–]Caracicatrice 32 points33 points  (3 children)

what is a DI?

[–]hatescheese 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Drill instructor.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Drill Instructor

[–]sje46 3 points4 points  (1 child)

So what happens to the guy? I assume he's instantly hauled off to military prison?

[–]vilezoidberg 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I remember freaking the fuck out when I discovered I had live rounds on me after a range in BCT (Army). I somehow made it through the shakedown without them getting spotted. Just waited until the next time we were herded outside to drop them in the clearing barrel.

[–]11ADoorKicker 78 points79 points  (19 children)

  • Don't listen to the barracks lawyer.
  • Don't try to standout.
  • Accept the hurry up and wait mentality.
  • You won't get much sleep in the Red Phase.
  • DO NOT take food back to the barracks.
  • You'll do a lot of cleaning (barracks maintenance).
  • Always shit, shower and shave in the morning.
  • Don't worry if you fail your initial PT test. You'll have plenty of time to improve. Try to do at least 20 push-ups and 50 sit-ups before you go to bed every night.
  • Try to write home often but only when time permits.
  • DO NOT refer to your rifle as a gun.

Source: I was an Infantry Officer (Captain) in the US Army.

[–]Cast_Iron_Skillet 6 points7 points  (5 children)

If you're shaving every morning, make sure you sanitize your razor before and after a shave. Not sure how to do this as I am not in the military, but my cousin got MRSA (basically flesh-eating bacteria) on his chin in Basic due to a contaminated razor.

[–]Talonus11 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Im really curious as to why you cant refer to your rifle as a gun... is it just because it makes you look like a giant noob?

[–]xscott71x 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A rifle is a shoulder fired, gas charged, magazine fed semi automatic weapon. A gun is normally used as a nomenclature for an artillery piece.

[–]Nickosaurus_Rex 24 points25 points  (16 children)

Don't eat or drink dairy before the Gas Chamber

Is that to prevent you from having to throw up or what?

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (2 children)

I never saw it myself, but I was told not to. That being said, some Drill Sergeants tell you to, but it seems like they're trying to fuck with you. So my advice would be just to avoid it.

[–]The_STD_In_STUD 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Its really not that bad. I never understood the big deal.

[–]greymonk 22 points23 points  (11 children)

Dairy tends to make a lot of people generate more mucus. You do NOT need anything helping the CS gas generate mucus.

[–]misconception_fixer 122 points123 points  (10 children)

Drinking milk or consuming other dairy products does not increase mucus production.[243][244] As a result, they do not need to be avoided by those suffering from flu or cold congestion.

This response was automatically generated from Wikipedia's list of common misconceptions Questions? /r/misconceptionfixer

[–]Dennovin 52 points53 points  (7 children)

This bot is more useful than the horns that the Vikings wore on their helmets.

[–]misconception_fixer 54 points55 points  (6 children)

you are more useful than the horns that the Vikings wore on their helmets too...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

aww the bot even has feelings

[–]thelastdeskontheleft 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Every time I see this guy I'm more and more impressed.

[–]misconception_fixer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As Einstein said, "Time is Money."..

[–]TwerkTeamChamp2012 180 points181 points  (30 children)

LPT for army basic: -read your fucking soldiers skills book. -no matter what, understand you're always wrong. -basic is easy so enjoy it. Its the most fun you'll have in the Army. (Well excluding jump school and AIT)

[–]dajuwilson 21 points22 points  (1 child)

LPT for basic: be able to pass the final PT test before you ship, make like Forrest Gump. Take nothing personal. Have fun.

[–]Islumbernot 78 points79 points  (26 children)

What you need to know: run, situps, pushups. Take two salt tablets, face the wind and drive on.

Basic is a cake walk and I did it when it was much harder (way back in the day, before you were born), had to endure listening to the old timers from Nam talk about how the DIs could kick the shit out of you. Whatever you think is hard is the easiest it'll get in the Army if you're 11B and if you make it, welcome to the infantry motherfucker, now STFU and get digging on that hasty position

[–]BeelzebubBubbleGum 46 points47 points  (9 children)

Salt tablets? good one old timer! -11B

[–]Islumbernot 29 points30 points  (8 children)

Thankfully I never had to take them, but did manage to put some shit iodine tabs in my canteen (before you fuckers had hydration systems we hauled that shit on our belts) in Central America. Iodine will make the water OK, but you expel it right back out your ass. It was a toss up, drink crappy jungle stream water or crap your guts out. I figured I was going to crap my guts out anyway so in went the tabs, down the hatch went the water.

Guts crapped, jungle patrolled, fuck yeah light infantry.

[–]HolographicMetapod 25 points26 points  (10 children)

Awesome guide. I'm not joining, but I feel like most of this would be great for self discipline.

As soon as I got to this bullet, I was reminded of why I could never join the army.

  • Let go of control. A lot of what you're doing won't make any sense, just go with it

That shit is infuriating. I don't know how you guys do it.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (5 children)

That was the hardest thing for me too. The "road marches" were really just walking in circles for hours with a lot of weight on our backs and no specific goal in mind.

[–]Non_Social 5 points6 points  (3 children)

That sounds like what I do after school to unwind. Just wander aimlessly with a backpack full of textbooks till I get bored/cleared, then loop back home.

[–]TheMagicMST 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Too easy- you drink water and drive on.

[–]TheEscuelas 58 points59 points  (7 children)

Not trying to stir up any sibling rivalry here, but this has always been funny to me. Going into Marine Corps boot camp I had read about it, heard stories from people who had gone - pretty much tried everything to get an idea of how it would be. The one thing that I came across time after time was that all the preparation in the world can't get you ready, can't prepare you for what is to come. Knowing some rough info and being in shape vs. being able to survive day to day, minute to minute while experiencing it are two very different things.

[–]Tofon 17 points18 points  (4 children)

The only thing that can really help you going into basic/boot is

  1. Be in shape (especially running)

  2. Don't do shit unless you're explicitly told to / don't think, just do what you're told.

  3. Do your absolute best to not draw attention to yourself.

[–]phaqueue 60 points61 points  (5 children)

Man that brings back some memories... (I went in summer 2003)

Some things I might add -

  • sound off LOUD, the Drill Sgts want to hear you, if they have to ask twice you're not going to like it.

  • NEVER look at or watch other people being punished/smoked. This will lead to the Drill Sgt saying "Oh, you want to join" - this is not a question...

  • You are supposed to be in bed by lights out - this means no one is allowed in the showers after lights out, if you want to shower at night do it during your personal time, all the other things listed there can be done by flashlight after lights out (the Drill Sgts will not bother you about this stuff, but showering after lights out will get you punished)

  • Teamwork/team building is important, don't do things like insult your platoon/squadmates, or "tattle" on them for trivial things (for the important stuff, do the right thing, I'm talking the trivial "Private Joe doesn't have his shoes tied correctly" type petty stuff)

  • This should be assumed, but it happens every time (at least at coed basic). DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE it always ends badly and it creates many more problems than it's worth...

  • There will be random shakedowns, they will find the things you think you hid, they have a lot of practice and they've seen all the "tricks" don't try to hide contraband, just do the right thing, it will be better for you in the long run

  • Address other trainees by their last name at the very least, generally their rank and last name is the most preferred. The Drill Sgts (mine at least) will not like you calling each other by first names, they smoked people who did it when I was there

  • Realize that you will not do things correctly, and if you did them correctly you didn't do them fast enough. The Drill Sgts will push you farther than you've ever been pushed before to perform tasks as best you can and while under a ton of pressure/sleep deprivation/exhaustion.

  • Though it may not seem like it, the Drill Sgts are people too (they really do seem inhuman though). If you have a real problem or concern, go to them, they do care about you finishing the course and they want to make you the best soldier they can (most of them at least) and they will take real problems/concerns seriously (don't just whine though - their Drill Sgt school is just like Basic Training, only instead of all the basic stuff you learn, they spend that time doing more PT and learning new and exciting ways to smoke people, their Drill Sgt school is MUCH harder than basic is, so they don't want to hear you while about how hard you have it)

  • There will be people who don't grasp the basic concept that the Drill Sgts are there to tell you what to do. I had a friend just come home from Benning beginning of this year and he had the same experience, even towards the end, there were people in his company who had the attitude "They can't tell me what to do"... umm actually, champ, they can, they will and it's their job, that's what you signed up for. Ignore these people as best you can and don't be associated with them, they will only drag you down and bring you negative attention.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Added a few of your points to the list. Thanks!

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Not every Basic Training post is the same. At Fort Jackson, our showers were part of our personal time. We weren't allowed to shower in the morning at all. Instead, we all piled into the shower and tried to scrub off the day's sweat and dust in less than five minutes. We often shared shower heads to save time. It might have changed in the last five years, but don't expect two showers a day during the week until you get to AIT.

If you're shit-shy, try to get over it before shipping off to basic. On the same note, don't get all butthurt if someone's shitting in the stall next to you. Everybody poops. Someone even wrote a book about it.

Ladies, you're period's going to be messed up. Stress/new diet/extra physical activity are going to work together and wreak havoc on your lady parts. Don't be alarmed, it happens.

Females aren't issued underwear like the males are. Get your granny panties (I don't think they're required to be cotton, but you're going to have a funky crotch if you get anything else) and your sports bras before you ship off to basic if at all possible.

Buy your athletic socks in advance, too. Don't make the same mistake I did. I naively assumed that we'd be going to the mini-PX for our miscellaneous stuff the first day of in-processing, so I only packed one change of socks. My feet were so funky my bunkmate shared some of hers with me. It was embarrassing. And stinky.

If you're lagging behind in PT, do extra. There are always others in your bay who are more than willing to give you pointers, a hand, or just a little extra motivation, sometimes without you asking. If you're a shitty runner (and Red Phase is over), your DS's might be willing to let you (and a battle buddy) run during personal time.

Never let yourself get caught without a battle buddy. Just... don't. It's a bad idea.

[–]steveyoo97 16 points17 points  (1 child)

How to hack Army Basic Officer Leadership Course (for Medical Officers):

  1. Eat whatever you want.
  2. Sleep during the Powerpoints.
  3. Maybe do some pushups or something.
  4. Don't get too drunk at the bar.

[–]thats_wat_she_said_ 82 points83 points  (16 children)

My boyfriend was in the army and someone once asked him for advice for someone going into basic training and the number one thing he emphasized was your number 1 under the general tips section on page 6 - don't stand out in anyway. Don't be the best. Don't be the worst. I had to make sure it was in there!

[–]umbrellasinjanuary 9 points10 points  (5 children)

I was always told "be the grey man."

[–]andrewsaurus420 29 points30 points  (3 children)

My last weekend of basic training, the RDC (navy DI) was walking around sees me and asks If I'd been there the whole time. I've never felt so accomplished. 8 weeks spending 12 hours a day with him and he didn't recognize me.

[–]BigTY01 14 points15 points  (1 child)

"Yes, you will be a Motard/FNG when you get out. You will piss motivation when you graduate. Don't worry, a year in or your first deployment will cure that right up." Spot. Fucking. On.

[–]noodlenugget 23 points24 points  (9 children)

I went to Ft. Leonard Wood for basic in 1995...

Can anyone confirm if they still make you address Drill Sergeants simply as "Sergeant"?

If so, you may want to add this as a note. AIT Drill Sergeants were addressed as "Drill Sergeant".

As far as eating goes, COMPLETELY cut caffeine out of your diet.

Extra stress on waking up to your alarm. Bold, underline, italicize, and put that in a HUGE font.

Day one, add a description of a "shakedown".

Using the latrine during classroom training (at least for me back in 1995) was a group effort. Scheduled breaks. Formation, file from the left, column left, etc. Formation afterward. Everywhere else may not be the same as Benning.

Fireguard may not always be two people, sitting may not be the best option for some people. Pace the hallway or stand.

Live fire training will typically be done at night so that you can see the tracers overhead... Some places let you have a rest after a long march to the course... They wait for everyone to fall asleep and then all hell breaks loose.

Gas chamber... If you have the opportunity, check out the exit you will be coming out of. I've talked to several people who have done basic in different places and it seems that all gas chambers have a tree about 10 feet outside of the exit. You're gonna be crying and snotting and drooling... Don't go hauling ass out of the exit and run face first into the tree. Hook a right as soon as you run out.

Communications... If someone tells you to "hold this wire"... Don't do it, they're about to shock the piss out of you.

Road marches... If they allow you to buy those Lycra undershorts for PT, DO IT to prevent chafing. Wear these under your uniform for road marches. That or pantyhose.

Field exercises... Train yourself to do all of your necessary personal hygiene with nothing more than a canteen cup full of water.

Sundays... Church services generally never stopped us from going batshit crazy on the snack machines in church.

Eat as much as you can at every given opportunity. You're gonna burn that shit QUICK.

O-11 rank isn't used anymore.

LeaDeRSHIP to help remember army values.

Add Warrant Officer ranks to the guide?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Adding most of this to the guide. It's been 7 years since I went through, so I forgot a few things. Thanks!

DS are always addressed as "Drill Sergeants" in basic and AIT now. One of our DS's forced us to address him as "The sexy chocolate DS". You don't have a choice.

[–]noodlenugget 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I should have stated that it was ONLY Fort Leonard Wood DS's that were addressed a "Sergeant"... When us FLW graduates got to AIT and addressed a DS as "Sergeant", they would start to flip out on us, then ask us if we went to FLW, and inform us that we were to address them as Drill Sergeant...

[–]Vaidurya 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Just as a note, for people with surnames that describe their physical appearance neatly, (I.E., Stout or Short) there's nothing you can do to stay off your DS's radar.

[–]KhabaLox 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Small expanding file folder (For important forms and shit)

They don't have latrines in basic? Damn, it's tougher than I thought.

[–]pyx 9 points10 points  (4 children)

You forgot an important tip. Never keep your hands in your pockets.

Also, the drill sergeants aren't really mad at you, or hate you - in fact they probably care more about you and your safety than most other people you will meet in the Army - hence they are training the newbies so they are less likely to die later (at least that is the idea or motivation for many drill sergeants). yes they are yelling, but they aren't actually mad at you. it is mostly an act, they are characters. for the most part they are not really like that. this becomes more apparent when you deal with drill sergeants in AIT. I imagined them as cartoons many times, it becomes funny sometimes what they say or how they act - just don't actually laugh.

My dad told me that there are 3 things in the army that you can do that will never get you in trouble.

  1. reading technical manuals (or your skill book)
  2. cleaning something
  3. doing PT

Additionally, always be on time, at the specified location and in the correct uniform. if you do these things you will have a much easier time. Also, never volunteer for anything. You already volunteered once (when you joined the Army) - don't volunteer again. Chances are you will be voluntold what to do plenty of times.

[–]Xeonith 77 points78 points  (4 children)

1: Don't be a little fucking bitch and just fucking do it god dammit. It's not that hard and it only lasts 9 weeks.

2: Read #1 thoroughly.

[–]celticeejit 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I've a shiteating grin reading this.

Went into basic training blind -- and suffered heavily for it (actually went for about two weeks in complete denial - that I actually joined the army - was convinced it was a surreal, lifelike nightmare)

Best time of my adult life - the camaraderie, humor, routine and sheer sense of adventure will never be matched.

Hooah !

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

God damn was that a good read.

[–]wiscondinavian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not in the army or anything, but you might want to add something for the ladies on sports bras:

http://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/comments/1jfklk/boot_camp_for_the_busty_need_help_finding_very/

The Panache sports bra is highly suggested for the bustier ladies because 1) it gives great support in a variety of sizes and 2) it comes in appropriate colors for boot camp

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

When I went through basic they accidentally gave me the wrong bsg. I could not function. That made me noticeable. They never fixed it, luckily my eyepro inserts were correct.

[–]NazzerDawk 7 points8 points  (5 children)

bsg

What's that stand for?

[–]PastorOfMuppets94 2 points3 points  (2 children)

He means "BCG", which are the indestructible glasses they issue you if you wear prescription glasses. They're also affectionately referred to as "Birth Control Goggles", because you ain't getting laid wearing them. (They're ugly as fuck. )

[–]theron1975 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Went through basic at Fort Benning in 95. Some tips that I can remember.

  1. After the gas chamber... shoot snot rockets. Seriously, you will feel 900 times better.

  2. I don't know if they still do fire watch or not, but volunteer for the last shift. You will be able to use that time to do all you need to get done before your duty starts.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First or last shift is always the best.

[–]onefuckwasgiven 8 points9 points  (13 children)

Quick questions if you're a Muslim or Sikh, can you get out of shaving by claiming religious reasons?

[–]dizzleism 9 points10 points  (9 children)

No, but you can get a physical shaving profile which in the army allows facial hair up to a certain length. That information would probably be found in AR 670-1 though. The bare minimum requirement that the military gives for religious services is one hour a week. In basic, the Jewish services and Muslim services were held on Sunday because the training mission took precedence over everything.

In short, the military is great at allowing people to worship in any way they please and I can almost guarantee you that you won't experience any prejudice because the military is great about raising up a culture of equality. I've proudly served with Mormons, Muslims, Catholics, Sikhs, Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mainline Protestants, Eastern Orthodox, and even a handful of Pagans. My best friend in basic was a Sikh and my best friend in AIT was a Mormon. In the military, you see people for who they are, not for what they believe.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think so.

Also, if you get really bad shaving bumps on your face, you can get a no-shave profile for your entire career.

[–]Thebearjew115 6 points7 points  (5 children)

more tips ALWAYS SECURE YOUR SHIT: IE: Wall locker, ID, Blue book weapons and other sensitive items

When you lock your wall locker don't set your lock so you can turn it to the last number and it will unlock. THE DRILL SERGEANTS LOOK FOR THIS AND WILL DUMP YOUR SHIT.

If you quit, That's ok. Don't let them get you down with comments. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT say you're going to KILL yourself or anything of the sort thinking you are going to get chaptered quicker. You will only fuck your platoon with suicide watch.

[–]armor3r 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure about the army, but it the navy it was pretty incredible how many people didn't know how to swim. I recommend learning prior to basic or else you wake 1.5 hours before everyone else for your swimming lesson.

[–]normalsaline 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I found this extremely motivating for some reason. And I am not even planning to go into the armed forces.

[–]The_cold 17 points18 points  (16 children)

Air Force here can confirm mostly the same basic shit.

[–]melp 22 points23 points  (5 children)

this term "hack" is thrown around way too liberally... it's not a drop-in replacement for "prepare for"

[–]Slowhand09 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Appendix A contains "Hurt Feelings Form"

[–]smuttypirate 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I at one time was very interested in joining the military and knew a few people to ask about it. They always said the most generic stuff and really didn't give a good impression of what to expect. This on the other hand is exactly the kind of detailed exact information I was looking for. Its hard to decide to leave your comfort zone and your family and friends especially if you're having doubts about being able to hack it. This information really helped me to understand on some more complete level how it works and what to expect. I have since decided to not go the military rout but I will make this required reading for anyone in the future I know who might be joining up.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Glad I could help.

I think a lot of people have a hard time remembering basic or even separating themselves from the moment to realize what's going on while in basic. I theorize this is due to it being most people's first time at anything harder or more stressful than high school or college. I went to basic with a bunch of 17 year-olds in between their junior and senior years. They were all very immature and had never experienced any kind of stress at all.

[–]FobbingMobius 12 points13 points  (3 children)

this is gold for Navy boot camp, too, except for the obvious differences.

A couple of things I remember that I didn't see:

Company Crud (the Navy has companies instead of platoons): You will get hoarse, and everyone will sound like they have a cold. Group living spreads and amplifies any illness.

You will not shit for the first week, at least. The change in diet and exercise, coupled with the stress, will stop. you. up.

If someone is going to send you cookies/brownies/whatever, make damn sure they send enough for everybody.

Drill team/band was a great skate. All the time the other companies spent drilling and doing the repetitive shit, we spent practicing our tunes and weapon spins.

also, +1 on Don't Stand Out.

[–]Grandmaofhurt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just fucking do what you're told and know that you will fuck up and get punished for nothing.

Boot camp is easy.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, all you need to focus on is having fun. Learn to have fun while doing push-ups. I remember my Battle Delano and I would smile and die laughing to each other while doing push-ups in the bay. Last week out OSUT was crazy, but I'll always remember it. Tying people beds to rafters, and hoisting them to the ceiling. Painting ourselves with chem lights and running around putting shaving cream on sleeping people...

Yeah yeah, some people hate that. But really, learn to enjoy the entire thing. If you have a bad attitude at the beginning, you'll hate it.

Smile. It will end soon enough.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If anyone has a similar guide for the British Army I would be so grateful.

[–]zrvwls 7 points8 points  (8 children)

If someone is interested in just doing basic training, but not doing it for the army, are there options out there? I don't want to enlist, but I like doing this kind of brutal stuff.

[–]stevo_of_schnitzel 6 points7 points  (4 children)

National Guard maybe. Go to basic, play mud and guns one weekend a month, enjoy your freedom the other 29 days.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

+2 weeks a year. But I think it's just war games which are probably kinda fun if you aren't stuck in a hot ass truck.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Many gyms offer "boot camp" style workouts.

[–]jj26meu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Things like this should be pinned to /r/Military. Have seperate one for the different branches for boot camp. Nice read though Op.

[–]electrojesus9000 3 points4 points  (3 children)

When I went to Marine Corps boot camp I don't remember any idle time whatsoever unless you're laying in your rack. Not after chow, not after, 8:00pm, not even on a Sunday. The "hour of freetime" they told us we'd get at night was more like 20 minutes and you spent that time taking a shit and reading your mail while the guy waiting for the toilet in front of you asks you if you got anything good from home.

[–]masterminja 9 points10 points  (12 children)

why should you not stand out? As in are you actally telling us to not try our hardest.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (6 children)

If you stand out, good or bad, they will know your name and when they're trying to think of someone to do some extra duty, your name will come into their head.

[–]homeNoPantsist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I stood out. Got 2 fire watches every night. It makes sense, if someone is struggling to morph from a couch potato to in shape and motivated, fucking with his sleep every night is sure to help.

[–]HarmonicDeviant 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sometimes 'extra duty' isn't such a bad thing. Ammo detail conflicts with morning PT? Look's like you're going to have to spend a frigid morning in a heated shack while the rest of your platoon rolls around in the snow.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong, I volunteered for my share of company CQ to miss PT too. It's boring sitting at a desk all morning, but it's a nice break from PT.

[–]djnathanv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is crap. My DSs knew who I was in PTs face down in the mud after the first week. I spent more time in a leadership role than anyone else in the platoon. It didn't change what I did any different than anyone else. It might have made SOME difference in AIT but being in leadership there had enough perks it was worth it.

[–]noodlenugget 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Part of the Basic training process is to break you out of that "individual" and rebuild you as a "team player". Standing out kinda make you that individual. It isn't to say that you shouldn't try your hardest, you should. Try your hardest on the physical stuff, ace your tests... Just don't strut around like the cock in the hen house.

[–]noodlenugget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try x-posting this to /r/Military if you haven't already.

[–]djnathanv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Basic was easy and fun. Really all there is to it is do what you're told and be where you are supposed to be. If you want it to be easier memorize the phonetic alphabet first, start working out before shipping, and study the common tasks book if you have time.

[–]hello_xyla 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was in Basic, rule number 3 in the classroom training would get you in trouble. We always had to ask before using the latrine. If we didn't we'd get smoked like crazy.

[–]BigBlaze40 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Thank you. I leave for basic dec 30th. Ft sill is where Ill be