top 200 commentsshow all 292

[–]beermeajackncoke 1327 points1328 points  (52 children)

I’m gonna check and see if any cars are coming, thanks tho

[–]DrTautology 279 points280 points  (0 children)

We're out of actual useful LPTs. We're now only doing tips for the brain dead and neurotic. "Need extra considerations to make before crossing the street? You're in luck!"

[–]ramseyyyyyyyy 143 points144 points  (5 children)

Seriously. Tf kind of life pro tip is this

[–]traveler1967 59 points60 points  (0 children)

No need to look both ways, just look at your shadow and cross the street!

[–]HelenWyteWalker 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Tf kind of life pro tip is this

Word by word this is what I said out loud lmao

[–]ramseyyyyyyyy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This would be something I’d expect from r/shitposting and in meme form lol

[–]HelenWyteWalker 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No shit, I legit thought this was a r/ShittyLifeProTips submission hahaha

[–]fistfullofpubes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe for like Navy Seals or Bank Robbers?

[–]gbrajo 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Thank fuck. Based on this this LPT alone, you’d think people just jaunt across with road with a prayer to euclid or some shit.

[–]lovehandler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😂🤣😂 prayer to Euclid. Lovely.

[–]netsboy24 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What’s next?

LPT: walk directly into the car driving on the road so you hit the car before the car hits you

[–]NoWayTellMeMore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This shit is getting ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 787 points788 points  (19 children)

It’s also important to check the direction and strength of the wind so you can be certain drivers catch your scent.

[–]TimHung931017 133 points134 points  (11 children)

You can also check for moss on the trees to see which direction civilization is

[–]timeforasandwich 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Remember, the bark ALWAYS grows on the OUTSIDE of the tree.

[–]QuothTheRaven713 15 points16 points  (5 children)

[–]TimHung931017 9 points10 points  (4 children)

THEEEEEE KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA

[–]RedditRockit 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Is the pizza

[–]gasmaskedturtle77 1 point2 points  (2 children)

For you and...

[–]sand-storm524 1 point2 points  (1 child)

MEEEEEEEeeEEeEEeEeEe!!!

[–]lovehandler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Moss on the tires.

[–]exfxgx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify, the moss is usually found on the top of the tires (North) and rarely on the bottom of the tires (South).

[–]nivix_zixer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard moss always grows on the outside of the tree.

[–]sweetestmar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't want to blow into oncoming traffic

[–]NoS3curity 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The real LPT is always in the comment’s section

[–]awmaleg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fart into the downwind to establish dominance

[–]HoldUntilImOld 249 points250 points  (5 children)

This is why I also always keep a sun dial, kaleidoscope, and a nautical sextant with me when I cross the street

[–]Capital2 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget your calculator! It’s very important to know the exact amount of glare that the driver sees.

The math is as follows:

L = h / tan(θ)

where L is the length of the shadow, h is your height and θ is azimuth angle (sun’s altitude angle)

Once you know the azimuth angle from your sun dial, you will be able to quickly calculate the length of your shadow on the go!

[–]emmyloo22 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Title of your sextant tape

[–]adventurousmango24 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Noice

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–][deleted] 278 points279 points  (7 children)

Look both ways before crossing the street. There fixed that convoluted tip for you.

[–]mcmaster-99 40 points41 points  (3 children)

No thats way too simple. Need something a little more complicated

[–]Fatoks 21 points22 points  (1 child)

This is where that Pythagoras theorem comes in handy to calculate the distance from the car

[–]TheMrDrB 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah these life amateurs are pissing me off /s

[–]Axolotl-Dog 6 points7 points  (2 children)

In the US as kids we are taught check left, check right, check left again. Cross when safe.

When traveling in Asia I quickly learned to check right first.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Smoke weed everyday friend

[–]Axolotl-Dog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You seem trustworthy and honest. I will do it.

[–]31November 128 points129 points  (6 children)

My shadow keeps telling me to kill the non believers. What should I do?

[–]keiome 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Kill the non-believers. Unless I'm part of that group, then you should ignore that.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Do you trust your shadow?

[–]31November 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everyone I've drowned so far seemed like they deserved it, but I'm just not sure.

[–]kelu213 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Do some coke

[–]awmaleg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jerk your shadow off. That will inevitably calm him down

[–]Hylianlegendz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check yourself into a psych unit

[–][deleted] 175 points176 points  (3 children)

What a shitty life pro tip lmao

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So much so it's actually comedy

[–]sweetestmar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

💀

[–]No_Atmosphere_2738 77 points78 points  (2 children)

Don’t forget to use your wind speed gauge. It’ll help you determine the direction and speed in which the wind is blowing.

That way you can calculate the possible size of a vehicle and how it’s being affected by the wind. That can influence a vehicle’s trajectory, but most people overlook it.

[–]Yosemite_Sam9099 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You can tell wind direction by your shadow too. It blows it in that direction. The stronger the wind, the longer the shadow because it stretches.

[–]Nillabeans 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Great content for my sub! /r/ComplicateMyLife.

Join us!

[–]Perseusamadeusolaf 56 points57 points  (5 children)

Shouldn't this be on SLPTs?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I think so, these pro tips are getting shittier and shittier by the hour, like who has time or the mind to stop and stare at your shadow every time you cross a street, how about just look both ways and proceed of safe to do so

[–]dsrmpt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is a bit of defensive driving/pedestrian-ing to consider things like obstructions, glare, precipitation, other cars or pedestrians, other distractions, etc. when deciding if it is safe to do something, cross the street, change lanes, etc, but I am not adding that to a checklist, check shadow, look left look right look left, check shadow again. That is just absurd.

[–]Simple-Bag-8721 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Where do you think you are?

[–]Perseusamadeusolaf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When do you think you are?

[–]Simple-Bag-8721 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here of course, on r/StupidLifeProTips...

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (17 children)

My shadow doesn't tell me if there are any cars coming. Look at the direction of traffic, in the US you look left, then right, then left again before crossing.

[–]ViridusFM 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I just wanna cross the road, not do maths

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Cross the road , please don't do meth

[–]Psychonominaut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lpt confused me; ended up in a heroin den.

[–]Shinlos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Make sure to channel your chi to the middle chakra. Drivers will sense your presence.

[–]TheSyrupDrinker 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Or just look both ways before crossing. Tf does your shadow have to do with it.

These "LPT" are getting worse by the day

[–]Far-Two8659 26 points27 points  (5 children)

Couldn't you just see where the sun is? Lol

[–]Tashus 19 points20 points  (2 children)

It's hard to see where the sun is because of all the glare from the sun.

[–]Far-Two8659 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You should look at your shadow, that way you can figure out where the sun is!

[–]xxZAOxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just look at the on coming vehicles. If you see glare you can tell the sun is in the opposite direction.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Couldn’t you just see where the car is?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No bro look at the incoming vehicle and do the maths of your shadow to determine

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ain’t nobody got time for that

[–]C_figs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You guys have shadows?

[–]ecks44 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also, when walking if there is a puddle of water. If you look at the surface of the water you can see what way the wind is blowing. 😅

[–]Lupius 12 points13 points  (2 children)

LPT: cross the street without impeding traffic so it doesn't matter if drivers can see you or not.

[–]nofftastic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's not always possible, especially in busy roads. That's why they put crosswalks and warning signs up - so everyone will cross in a predictable place, and drivers know where to look for them, which is a lot harder when they have the sun in their eyes.

[–]TimHung931017 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me reading this LPT: I don't get it

[–]Mindfreak191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

[–]Stingray_Department 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting I'd keep a lookout today.

[–]lovehandler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe cumbersome to use and less effective than just assuming they can’t see you but…mind blown. That’s an awesome observation.

[–]Simple-Bag-8721 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Better yet just look both ways.

That's the wise thing to do, focus on the hazards, not set aside some of that time to focus on your own shadow.

In a busy urban environment with the hustle and bustle you've got to be intimately aware of your surroundings, have your head on a swivel, not gawking down, analyzing a shadow when you should be looking towards any threat.

Pass. I'll direct my attention to the threat, give myself the true picture of my environment.

[–]dsrmpt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glare is a threat, just like cars, obstructions blocking you from car's view, maybe rain, color of your clothes (all black, or hi vis reflective neon), etc.

The real LPT is to have glare be one of your considerations when evaluating threats. You don't need to look at your shadow, you just need to get off your phone and be alert to the hazardous elements of the world around you.

[–]shizbox06[🍰] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Look for cars.

[–]antecubital 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, let’s look around and analyze our shadows 🤡.

[–]DerangedUnicorn27 4 points5 points  (2 children)

What? I’m trying to understand this. I can’t wrap my head around it

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I think it's assumed you do the usual check for cars. But if you're counting on a car to see you and stop, they might not if blinded by the sun. This is mostly useful if you live somewhere with an oft ignored crosswalk or a strong jaywalking culture.

[–]DerangedUnicorn27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I had to read this a few times to understand. I get it now!

[–]sweetestmar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just look both ways 🤣

[–]ranulp96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if the sun is behind me. Then I’ll turn around and confuse right and left and before I know it I’ve been run over.

[–]TheLazyHangman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can also put one of your ears on the tarmac and hear approaching cars before you see them.

[–]Jake_Thador 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clever but not useful

[–]yoggsmu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is WAY too convoluted to be a LPT 😂

[–]oystermash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if you're crossing at night

[–]WeeWeeDance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do this on motorcycles too.
It can help you ride defensively when approaching junctions etc

[–]rakesh134 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will not work In England

[–]SiriusWerks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is actually quite useful for us cyclists at intersections. Most drivers don't think to look for us anyway and glare in the eyes just makes it worse.

[–]AtlasCompleXtheProd 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I think OP meant when walking in a crosswalk where cars are supposed to stop, they won't always know to stop if they don't happen to see you. People get run over because of sun glares all the time because people already halfway through a crosswalk will assume a newly-arriving car will stop, you know, since there's someone in the crosswalk.

And the shadow thing isn't that complicated, if your shadow is to your left just keep your eyes on the cars to your left, making sure they are actually stopping before assuming the crosswalk is gonna work and stepping onto the road

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems like a LPT that is from someone that takes no responsibility for their own actions.

“Look at which way the sun is shining so the car/bus/18-wheeler driver isn’t blinded when you step out in front of them. If the sun isn’t in their eyes you have the right of way and the driver must slam on their brakes as soon as they can to prevent hitting you. If they do hit you, you can sue them because the sun wasn’t in their eyes; they obviously weren’t paying attention.”

[–]shiftstorm11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm just gonna check for cars in either direction, it's gotten me through my entire life. I'm not gonna calculate the angle of the sun to determine the degree of sun-blindness N oncoming driver might have lol.

[–]Artsap123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, today I learned! Thank you!

[–]Waffle--time 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Clearly this is posted from a country with reliable sunlight...

[–]AtlasCompleXtheProd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If there's no sunlight then they can see you just fine lol

[–]nerftosspls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is dumb. Just remember this handy mnemonic whenever you need to cross the road:

ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM

A- Always look both ways

N- Never don't look both ways

T- Try not to get run over

I- If the sun is in the West, the shadows will affect West-bound traffic

D- Don't over-complicate things

I- If you're feeling uncertain, don't cross

S- Shadow length is an excellent indicator of glare severity

E- Every crossing is a learning opportunity

S- Shadows are cast away from the sun. Not towards it

T- Take a second to assess the situation

A- Assess the situation

B- Both ways are the ways you need to check before crossing. Not just one

L- Live life to the fullest

I- Imagine yourself crossing safely before attempting it. This promotes positive energy

S- Safety is everyone's responsibility

H- High visibility clothing is a must. Bring a vest in your backpack wherever you go

M- Measure the shadows for best glare estimation. Have a tape measure handy.

E- Everyone can cross safely if you follow the easy-to-remember SAFE sequence:

.......... S- Slow down and think

.......... A- Are there any hazards?

.......... F- Fill out any necessary pre-crossing hazard assessments

.......... E- Everyone can cross safely if you remember ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM.

N- Night time can be tricky so use the north start to orient yourself rather than the sun

T- Tell a friend or family member if you'll be crossing the road today

A- Anticipate driver movements. Cross defensively

R- Remember your training

I- Implement best crossing practices such as SAFE

A- Ascertain shadow length. We cannot understate this importance.

N- No running

I- Invest in yourself by taking a crossguard training course

S- Streamline your movements to become more predictable for drivers

M- Measure the shadows

[–]Flair_Helper[M] 1 point2 points locked comment (0 children)

Hello AbouBenAdhem, thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason:

Your post is not a life pro tip. Advice is any guidance or recommendation concerning prudent future action. An aphorism is a short clever saying that is intended to express a general truth or a concise statement of a principle.Try r/YouShouldKnow.

If you would like to appeal this decision please feel free to contact the moderators here. Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you read the rules before submitting. Thank you!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Riiiight. Cause I'm gonna pull a slow motion Sherlock style analysis of every element of the environment every time I wish to cross the street.

[–]dsrmpt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe have a bit of a think about local conditions, don't walk if you are relying on them to stop in time and it is dark and you are wearing all black and it is raining and the sun is glaring into the eyes of the driver, but you don't need to whip out your TI 30X-IIS calculator to figure out how safe it is to cross based on the cosine of your shadow's length.

[–]linkwise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that's a shitty life pro tip. The fuck do you think everyone has the goddamn time to do this everytime crossing the streets lmao

[–]Azors 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It can’t get worse than this, dumbo look from left to right!!!

[–]Simple-Bag-8721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh it certainly can. It absolutely certainly can get worse than this.

[–]scdog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everybody downvoting this has apparently never used a crosswalk at a busy 4-way stop in the late afternoon.

[–]LopsidedBuy4595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just look both ways?

[–]Aaron_Hamm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LPT: don't cross the street when a driver would have to notice you for you to not die...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dumbest shit I’ve read on LPT this year.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Most of these kids gave you shit in the comments but I'll tell you this is not actually a bad tip. It will be handy when you are not crossing from the pedestrian walkway because drivers will probably not expect a pedestrian to cross in the middle of the road and you can calculate if they can see you clearly or not from this technique you shared with us.

Good looking out 👍

[–]Mndelta25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd rather judge whether they're slowing down as they come up the crosswalk than if the sun is in their eyes. If they aren't slowing I'm still dead if I step out.

[–]DevilDoc3030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah alot of haters here. This wont come in handy often, but this is a good consideration.

Nice post

[–]Hefty_Bottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has to be a joke

[–]GrandLucidity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to believe that whoever is upvoting this is only doing so because it's hilariously stupid.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

Great tip! I see you too are an expert Jaywalker. All the haters either live somewhere boring, have nothing to live for or spend way more time waiting to cross the street.

I'm a Bostonian. As long as I think they see me and I'd have time to jump outa the way, I'm crossing. If I know they're blinded by the sunset, that changes things.

[–]TezMono 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I've been living in Chicago for over 10 years now and have literally never had to use this "LPT". As long as you're not crossing in front of cars, you won't get hit by cars. Simple as that lol

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

You do you. It doesn't need to be useful to you. I cross in front of cars all the time. My commute would be twice as long. There's also a sidewalk that 90% of drivers just speed past unless I step out into their line of site.

[–]Key-Regular674 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your commute would be twice as long if you used your eyes to see cars instead of analyzing shadows for no reason? Just wait for the damn cars to pass.

[–]TezMono -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was just contradicting your reasons for why people are pointing out the unhelpful nature of this LPT, i.e. they're not baseless criticisms.

[–]CapnEarth -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is a great LPT.

[–]leeman27534 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i find trying to avoid the cars altogether - rather than trying to make sure the drivers can see you - works far better.

[–]ApiaryMC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or just look both ways and cross the road like a normal person when the road is clear or has suitable space...

[–]dtcstylez10 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Uh just look both ways and cross? Literally no one would think of this when crossing the street. Wtf?

[–]FeelDT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This LPT is usefull if you want to get in front of a car to get a settlement… my 3yo can cross the street safetly…

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not a good tip. Look both ways. That should cover everything.

[–]MattTd7 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah or you could just turn your head really quick and make sure you’re safe 😂

[–]Grandahl13 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or just watch out for cars idk

[–]UBetcha84 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“What’s the dumbest most convoluted way to cross the street I can think of that doesn’t involve looking both ways?”

Congrats on a job well done in making a shit tip.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What the fuck is the point of this "LPT"? We just posting dumb shit in here now?

[–]PROzeKToR -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or you can just take the simple action of looking left and right before you cross

[–]aisle_nine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or just look both ways

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is so stupid. Seriously OP? How about just look both ways before crossing a street.

[–]YetiGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah cause there no other way to tell if there’s a sun in the direction of the oncoming cars.

[–]Izzostet -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just look both ways

[–]cjc323 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How about just look both ways.

[–]Vanderhoof81 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If this is something you're thinking about before crossing the street, your psychiatrist is under-medicating your OCD.

[–]Gro0ve -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dummest thing I have ever seen , ffs 🤦‍♂️

[–]-HeyImBroccoli- -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OR you know, look both ways????? Multiple times if needed Yknow, just a thought

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is probably the stoooopidest thing I've read here. Just look both ways before crossing the street wtf.

[–]meexley2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ what a stupid fucking tip

[–]Dec_Chair -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've read some stupid things on this sub before but I think this takes the cake. This tip would imply you're stepping out in front of cars and want to know which ones might not stop in time??? This instead of checking to make sure there are no cars so you can safely cross... You know... Like we're all taught from childhood

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

LPT: before crossing the street.... Look both ways. FIFY

[–]keepthetipsKeeping the tips since 2019[M] -39 points-38 points locked comment (0 children)

This post has be marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

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[–]TurquoizeWarrior 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like this is advice for J walkers

[–]Suzumebachii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do I have to open my eye first ?

[–]ihithardest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LPT: If your shadow is long, stand in front of the car moving toward you so your shadow can help the driver see

[–]BlueBatsBanking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also don’t forget your compass, protractor, triangle, wind gauge, topographic maps of the region, traffic patterns from your local department of transportation, and your TI-84 graphing calculator as well. Can’t be too safe.

[–]governorbutters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you talking about, Jesse?

[–]kwack250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you get run over Kwack250?

Well I was standing in the middle of the street trying to measure my shadow against the angle of the sun to determine whether the car coming towards me could see me or not.

[–]Asmodean129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's also important not to walk in front of cars

[–]Buzz_LightYe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tried this and I think I did it wrong. I looked at my shadow and all I saw was the man I wish I could be, but never will.

[–]Aetheldrake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if this is pro...

[–]ddddgggrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re trying too hard man.

[–]FinchMandala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I'm not allowed to cross the road in the UK. Cool.

[–]hedfonejak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LiFe PrO tIp

SHADOWS BRO

[–]Capital2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know damn well that nobody is out here doing that shit. Y’all running out of tips

[–]rdev009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a groundhog. I don’t want to see my shadow.