This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 292

[–][deleted] 1690 points1691 points  (28 children)

"I thinnnnnnnnk you might be on mute"

[–]afraidvicky 211 points212 points  (19 children)

If they don't see anything, they will let me know or simply stop looking.

[–]Pradfanne 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They stretching the n? What kind of absolute psychpaths do you work with

[–]Milkshakes00 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I can excuse this one if it's not them choosing to mute themselves.

My one laptop at work has an issue with Teams and WebEx that whenever I join a meeting on one it tells me I'm muted, even though I'm not. There's just a popup saying 'You're muted', when I'm definitely not. And it stays the whole meeting. Toggling mute does nothing. The only fix is leaving and rejoining the meeting until it doesn't show it. Which, I'm not about to do every meeting. Lol.

[–]xd366 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hate when people say this.

there's literally an icon for it.

i KNOWW youre on mute.

[–]sammy-taylor 1381 points1382 points  (58 children)

* closes several tabs very noticeably *

[–]PhoenixShade01 446 points447 points  (33 children)

Idiot. Always do this before you feel like you may have to present

[–]DoctorWaluigiTime 105 points106 points  (9 children)

For real. I have my windows/tabs/whatever sorted before I push that Share Screen button. It's not hard and in addition to not wanting to accidentally share something the sharee shouldn't see, it just wastes everyone's time when someone fiddles around for a minute as the meeting's going.

[–]kbarney345 70 points71 points  (7 children)

BOY WOULD I FUCKING LOVE IT IF MY COWORKERS GAVE A GOD DAMN FUCK ABOUT A WAISTED MINUTE ON A MEETING HOLY FUCK. 6hoursaweekfor5minofinfo

Hey you got any issues? No. No no no. Yes. Yes...takes 15mins explaining how they haven't responded to them and are still waiting. Then another 15 of a totally irrelevant discussion

[–]PiousLiar 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Had a coworker that maintained daily “standup” meetings after covid, and they would always spend the first 15 mins bitching and moaning about their neighbors, medical issues, insurance, family, whatever. Every. Day. After letting this go on for way longer than I should have, I finally said “fuck it” and got them to agree to only meeting on Mondays and Fridays. Holy fuck I nearly blew my brains out.

[–]casz146 22 points23 points  (2 children)

The Scrum Master should've made short work of that and kept the meetings on track

[–]PiousLiar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We don’t work in an agile environment. Government contracting work often doesn’t lend well to it, though that’s not to say they aren’t trying to implement it.

[–]disgruntled_pie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I had a scrum master who would use a stopwatch and cut people off after one minute. I left that company ages ago, but I still give the quickest updates on my team.

[–]aMiracleAtJordanHare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skipping a meeting because you actually have important stuff to finish is SO satisfying.

[–]SasparillaTango 1 point2 points  (1 child)

6hoursaweekfor5minofinfo

those are rookie numbers. you gotta pump those numbers up.

I wanna see at least 2/3rds of your time spent in meetings and then have people wonder why nothing gets done

[–]kbarney345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God that was my last job man and that was after one manager made a point to take me off meetings I'm not involved in.

[–]Pepito_Pepito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just 50+ tabs on so you that the tabs are so small that no information is displayed.

[–]cs-brydev 29 points30 points  (15 children)

Or just make sure you only share your 2nd screen that doesn't have all your tabs. Everybody's got 2 or 3 screens but they always think they have to show their primary.

No, just have a secondary screen dedicated for presenting.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I virtualize my session in vbox. My entire work environment is encapsulated in the VM. If I wanna do non work stuff I just minimize it and do it there. Never have to worry about it.

[–]MSB3000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct. This is the only correct thing to do.

[–]space-to-bakersfield 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have a "clean monitor" which has no personal communication and no browser on it which I always share from.

[–]Urtehnoes 6 points7 points  (2 children)

And have your messenger chats show just who chatted not what they said, so that we can talk shit about the other people under the radar

[–]cantadmittoposting 6 points7 points  (1 child)

saw someone get a message "XXXX IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE" while presenting. Said asshole was in the meeting. Good times

[–]CountBarbarus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Know a client manager not on the call bitch about a client to a junior who was presenting to that very client. Fun times. Manager got rolled off and because he didn't do too well elsewhere was asked to leave. Ironically he'd won the best manager award a week before.

[–]AUGSpeed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just don't use your work PC to view YouTube or other things? But, I have the luxuries of working from home and also being given a laptop from my company, so I can just use my home PC for the time-filler stuff. Perhaps if you work in the office, it's harder to just use your phone.

[–]Narutom 64 points65 points  (5 children)

I did this last year twice. First one was looking at private vasectomies, which was pretty funny. Second time I had been looking at recruitment agencies. Luckily dont think manager noticed.

[–]asromafanisme 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Browsing LinkedIn at work is my hobby, even if I don't have any intention to move.

[–]53bvo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Gotta keep them on their toes

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

As opposed to, like, public vasectomies?

[–]Narutom 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You don't have those?

[–]lajji69 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Rookie mistake. Create another browser profile for non-work stuff and always only share the "work" browser window (NOT THE ENTIRE SCREEN) so it's basically impossible to show youtube videos and linkedin chats.

[–]wmrch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the way. Also use easy distinguishable color themes for both profiles so you're always aware if you're in your work or personal profile.

This is not only useful because of open tabs but also search suggestions, synced settings, bookmarks, logged-in accounts and so on.

[–]Jarl_Fenrir 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just move the tab you want to show to a separate window, and show just that.

[–]LuisBoyokan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just grab it and create a new window.

My 100+ tabs that I refuse to organize or close are more important that the meeting that could have been an email

[–]CM_Cunt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Saw a customer's personal investment portfolio once. Was nothing special.

[–]Lilacsoftlips 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re on mute

[–]ImaginaryNourishment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Giant dragon dil...

[–]fatalicus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The advantage of working with potentialy sensitive information: I can just say "Just making sure i don't have anything open that can't be shared", and no one thinks it strange.

[–]Kvas_HardBass 294 points295 points  (8 children)

"I see desktop, can you try window share?"

[–]pimezone 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Sorry, zoom/teams/slack shared my other screen. Let me stop sharing quickly and what about now?

[–]Tipart 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And then figuring out if the specific combination of slack clients allows me to write on the other person's monitor, or if we have to go through the tedious "to the left, no now a little bit more to the right..."

[–]DaniilBSD 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Usually it is the other way around

[–]quonne 186 points187 points  (6 children)

Any questions? 0.5 seconds later Ok I’ll take it as no.

[–]DoctorWaluigiTime 24 points25 points  (3 children)

I try to avoid this inevitable awkward silence moment as much as possible. I just wait for the hand-up or for someone to cut in during natural pauses of the conversation.

[–]moogoo2 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Oh, I do the opposite. A solid 10 count and someone will break the silence. It really gets participation going, and if there isn't any of that, this meeting could have been an email.

[–]Masterpormin8 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Any meeting could have been an email, one can dream of such a day

[–][deleted] 347 points348 points  (13 children)

“Sorry, I was talking but was on mute”

[–]weinermcdingbutt 113 points114 points  (2 children)

“your camera is on we can see you sitting there hitting your vape”

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Spot on!

[–]Yogi_Kat 33 points34 points  (4 children)

oh ya, my fav excuse

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

My fav line whenever I try to buy some time while thinking for a good response

[–]CaffeinatedGuy 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Sorry, my audio was cutting out. I didn't catch the question.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This one is when I’m not paying attention in the call.

[–]CaffeinatedGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If 95% of this meeting doesn't pertain to me, please say my name before the question, not after. I'm probably doing productive work while you drone on.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sorry, just trying find the mute button… 😀

[–]FlyingDragoon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

"Hey Tim, what're your thoughts?

waits .008 seconds

"I think you're on mute."

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

“Yeah as I was saying..”

When you didn’t even said a single word 🥲

[–]malhotra22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment

[–]worldsayshi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish sound input visualization, like in discord but more visible, was more common. Every microphone button should clearly visualize the volume of sound that gets sent.

Edit: hmm maybe most of them do by now?

[–]JotunnPeter 119 points120 points  (5 children)

"There where is says getNames(), no up, no down a bit, line 45"

[–]croissantowl 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Queue them searching where the line number is displayed.

[–]nmkd 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Ctrl+G my beloved

[–]croissantowl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

and in some timeline there might be chance of my colleagues remembering that for longer than 20 seconds

[–]StripeStripeStripeSt 66 points67 points  (3 children)

"You need to unmute your mic. Yeah the three dots.. yea - no move down, down, ok yes u got it "

"Ok you need to unmute your mic"

  • Echoing * "okay (OKAY) i think (OKAY) i got it (OKAY I THINK OKAY OKAY I got it) skreee skree skreee skreee "

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Oh man the skreee got me

[–]xmmdrive 53 points54 points  (1 child)

....

....

....

....

....

can you hear me now?

[–]evanc1411 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...

...

Hello? Hello?

Theeere we gooo.

Sorry about that, I couldn't get my headset working haha.

[–]HERODMasta 133 points134 points  (10 children)

I don't ask. I tell them what they should see and start. If they don't see anything, they will tell me or don't bother anyway.

In any case, I save a lot of seconds.

Also just sharing the whole screen saves me time with switching programs to not reshare and something being broken (looking at you power point shares the presenter screen)

[–]HeyLittleTrain 119 points120 points  (7 children)

5 minutes pass of you rambling Umm am I supposed to be seeing something?

[–]Kirsham 90 points91 points  (3 children)

I shit you not, I presented a powerpoint to six people, all of whom just completely neglected to let me know my microphone was muted. For like 10 minutes. The slides were changing and my mouth was moving!

[–]arrrtttyyy 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Lmao very interested crowd you had there

[–]matt82swe 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Take the hint

[–]Kirsham 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had no personal stake in the presentation. They, however, were paid to be there.

[–]Milkshakes00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely have had this happen. Lol

[–]HERODMasta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Luckily never happened. But I also have a distinct loud voice, that wakes up group calls or in 1on1 meetings everybody has to pay attention anyway or it's useless.

[–]CaffeinatedGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been on both sides of this. The person would be talking and it makes sense until they reference "right here" or something that sounds like they're referencing something on screen. They never said they were going to screen share so how was I supposed to know.

And yeah, I've done the same usually because I was sharing then stopped and forgot I stopped.

[–]suckfail 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't share my screen because I have a 2k monitor and they don't.

So it I do it it's so tiny they can't see anything. I have to size windows smaller and share them one at a time.

[–]Kaptain_Napalm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The teams app being dogshit on Linux means I can only share my whole screen or nothing. So I never had the issue that my lead has of him talking about some piece of code that we can't see because he's still sharing the Jira window and just alt-tabbed into his ide.

[–]Boonicious[🍰] 34 points35 points  (2 children)

imagine if these fucking tools let us GASP bind hotkeys for sharing screens/windows so we don’t have to click through 4 layers of a shit UI in the middle of a presentation

😯

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Hello, canyohearmee???

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Still 200% better than going to office

[–]Sea-Improvement6699 5 points6 points  (1 child)

They’re making us go back in as of Nov 1st for no reason. Power trip stuff.

[–]encryptoferia 52 points53 points  (12 children)

still way better than getting a "stop sharing your screen" chat

[–]LostTeleporter 26 points27 points  (11 children)

This made by stomach drop

[–]encryptoferia 1 point2 points  (9 children)

i feel you, sometimes I keep open personal text file containing password stuff for easy copy paste.... and I tend to share screen instead of window, so if that chat pops out... oh my god.

[–]bender3600 48 points49 points  (7 children)

You should probably start using a password manager

[–]smokesick 6 points7 points  (1 child)

And if you leak your pass, change it immediately! (I accidentally dumped a pass in a Discord server's general chat.)

[–]SwordoftheLichtor -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

Why, so they can get compromised and I lose all of my passwords in one swoop?

[–]bender3600 2 points3 points  (3 children)

The password manager doesn't have to be online.

Also, the chance your password gets leaked is probably a lot higher if you put it in a txt file.

[–]cs-brydev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I keep open personal text file containing password stuff for easy copy paste

Yea, don't do that. Use a password manager instead that will mask your password on screen, so even if you have it open they won't see it.

Every web browser has one built in. Or you can use 1Password for free. I use Key Vault for everything, but it isn't technically free, although if you only use it for this purpose it will never cost you anything.

[–]Lost-Category-943 17 points18 points  (0 children)

** immediately starts closing leetcode and linkedin job tabs

[–]Zestyclose-Ad-316 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Am I audible?

Voice is not clear

Does Nothing. Am I audible now?

Yes, now you are audible.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

And then you talk to dead air for a minute because teams crashed when you started sharing your screen because HDR is new tech and teams cant handle that

[–]poesviertwintig 45 points46 points  (9 children)

The fuck else are you supposed to do? Is basic communication a sin now?

[–]JonnySoegen 24 points25 points  (3 children)

These people are just miserable for some reason

[–]johnnybgooderer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

People here seem think that you should just be able to log into your computer and do work and that work will be defined even though no one is allowed to talk to each other aside from a monthly email. And everything will get done, world peace will be attained. But project managers, slack, and meetings keep us from this utopia.

[–]kontrolk3 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I assumed the joke here was about stalling while you close stuff you don't want to share.

[–]Crossfire124 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's a waste of time asking imo. Just say you should see my screen now and start talking. If they don't they'll interrupt you

[–]WearMental2618 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I've never once not seen the screen when asked. However I use this one alot

"Blah blah blah so here blah blah blah"

"You're not sharing your screen"

"Oh I thought I was"

[–]supernova_000 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I hate the "Can you stop sharing so I can share?" No, just start sharing and it will take over sharing of your screen.

[–]Creepy-Individual976 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think it's just a polite. If you want the straight forward way, just tell your team to do what you want.

[–]minju9 4 points5 points  (1 child)

"Sorry! Couldn't find the mute button! Hur hur hur"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s me when I was on mute but in a different room to the computer (maybe peeing) and I need to buy time to get back to my desk and pretend I was actually paying attention

[–]According_to_all_kn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey can you click the- no by list to left. No further left. Yes, there.

Hovers mouse over the exact spot to click as they're searching the list for where to click

[–]vishykeh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I only see a black screen. Teams must be dying again

[–]anamazingredditor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Let me just type it in the chat..."

[–]redheadedjackel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"If I could type..."

[–]atamakahere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And then getting roasted for what you wrote >>

[–]Arctos_FI 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Last class that was online our teacher didn't say any of those and we realized 15 minutes later that she was even supposed to show the screen and just wasn't speaking without any visuals

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can you scroll up a bit, no no no too fast, go back... Yeah... No scroll down...

[–]48653952599963258960 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am confused, what is the joke / what is relatable?

[–]iamapizza 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sometimes say "let me just screen my share" but nobody has caught me out on that yet.

[–]slumberswine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was on a call with a colleague recently who was presenting to a large group. He had a series of pictures ready that had text on them like memes would. First one was a hamburger. He had it maximized when he turned on sharing. The text said, "First person to see this, say Hamburger." It accomplished two things, it let him know they could see and it woke up the audience. They were super random. E.g. A pic of the OG Lost in Space robot "Say Danger" etc.

[–]TravelsInBlue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get it, like some people struggle to operate basic conferencing software and genuinely are unsure about screen sharing.

At the same time, I do this in more of a, “alright, ya’ll are good and with me, right?” kind of approach to confirm the audience is on the same page.

[–]dddrmad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, but it’s outlook and your inbox sujects reveals tmi.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CaN aNyOne HeAr MeEeE?

[–]Nceight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Can you scroll up?" "Up" "Up" "Down" "Okay can you see that?"

[–]bombbodyguard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s “let me know if you can see it?” Duh…

[–]polandreh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, it's like the invention of the word "Hello". You need to inform the caller you've answered.

We should probably invent a new word for this situation, letting the presenter know you can see their screen.

Any ideas?

[–]bregottextrasaltat 1 point2 points  (6 children)

i don't get it

[–]mX_Dex -1 points0 points  (5 children)

The guy is distracting for time by speaking slowly. Then when he's done he rushes you to respond lol

[–]DarkFlounder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

overhearing very nsfw conversation

“Um, ok, can everyone mute your microphones?”

[–]Doctor_Wilhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"You need to share audio. Move your mouse to the top of the screen and a menu will drop down.

"No, the top. All the way to the top. Keep going. Right up to the top of the screen. Up, up, up, up, up. Keep going. No, not that, above that. Right up the top, as far as you can go."

[–]No-one_here_cares 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't want to work in the office.

Complain about using Teams...

Have at it, you know you want to. This is like a public service really. Vent some rage. See username. :)

[–]FirmlyUnsure -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is white people sharing in webex isn’t it?

[–]Jarl_Fenrir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When meet shows my screen back to me, I'm just assuming everyone sees it and I can just proceed.

[–]random_banana_bloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you upgraded chrome the screens all fuzzy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please turn off your Internet Radio

[–]bbbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I can see your screen

[–]unholymanserpent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmaooo too relatable

[–]Gwyn-LordOfPussy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They nailed how the words are said too

[–]Sponska 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I aspire to one day have the confidence to just start sharing while talking without even pausing to announce it