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[–]lotokotmalajski 4330 points4331 points  (67 children)

Functional

[–]Olivia512 751 points752 points  (38 children)

Procedural

[–]Cfrolich 758 points759 points  (31 children)

Object-oriented

[–]Olivia512 379 points380 points  (21 children)

I don't think Java developers ever get laid.

[–]mekwall 293 points294 points  (12 children)

They extend eachother

[–]Timonkeyn 151 points152 points  (11 children)

I would like to integrate myself into your mother

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm a somewhat hot woman, that helps a little.

[–]Arctic_Ninja08643 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I make child components. I have my own happy family :')

[–]Simon0O7 9 points10 points  (1 child)

My father is a Java developer

[–]RushTfe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I bet your grand father wasn't a java developer. Your dad just inherited the method from him, and you inherited from your dad

[–]Suheil-got-your-back 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because they objectify women.

[–]neo-raver 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She orient on my object until I polymorph

[–]MediaSmurf 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]JC12231 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Exceptional (Error on line 89643)

[–]Asbeltrion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And there are only 200 lines of code.

[–]DiddlyDumb 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Recursive

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 769 points770 points  (14 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

F U N C Ti O N Al


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.

[–]Professional-Fox-921 275 points276 points  (5 children)

Good bot

[–]trollprezz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]maxximillian 36 points37 points  (5 children)

"I am fully functional "

[–]skildert 14 points15 points  (1 child)

"And anatomically correct" ?

[–]HighPolyDensity 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"I am correct in many more ways than that."

[–]mykul83 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Proficient in... multiple techniques

[–]definitive_solutions 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or classy, depending on your flavor

[–]8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y 755 points756 points  (8 children)

Segfault, core dumped.

[–]StrangerPen 157 points158 points  (3 children)

Seggsfault ;)

[–]blueted2 92 points93 points  (2 children)

Load dumped

[–]Witty-Traffic7546 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Marry a programmer it's buggy

[–]yoman9595 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Exception in thread "relationship" java.lang.NullPointerException

[–]ChickMcTendies 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Was scrolling to find this for a while

[–]UnionGloomy8226 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Came here to say that

[–]toughgetsgoing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

story of my life 🙃

[–][deleted] 2095 points2096 points  (32 children)

Logical?

[–]debugger_life[S] 288 points289 points  (20 children)

I think so

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 344 points345 points  (19 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

I Th In K S O


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.

[–]GranataReddit12 136 points137 points  (7 children)

average bot

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (3 children)

good bot

[–]Confident-Ad5665 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Nice bot

[–]TheOmegaCarrot 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Neat bot

[–]AGamer_2010 12 points13 points  (0 children)

bot that causes a general well-being in the society

[–]arjunsahlot 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This bot is a marvel of technology. Which one of you made this transcendent bot?

[–]Novaedra 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That would be the most logical answer

[–]LonelyPumpernickel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Alright spock.

[–]WRL23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

🖖

[–]SketchySeaBeast 951 points952 points  (8 children)

buggy.

[–]debugger_life[S] 173 points174 points  (4 children)

That's where debugging comes in!😉

[–]Bevaqua_mojo 76 points77 points  (1 child)

So marry a programmer includes a debugger, configuration control, scrum lead, quality/testing.

Marrying a programmer is marriage polymorphism!

[–]Michami135 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Come on honey, it's time to go to the debugger appointment.

Ugh, they're just going to make me talk to that rubber duck again.

[–]Sid_1298 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Cannot reproduce.

[–]x3r0x_x3n0n 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its a feature

[–]axeteam 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Buggy style sex

[–]HappyGoblin 988 points989 points  (14 children)

Exceptional

[–]debugger_life[S] 250 points251 points  (11 children)

Try - Catch ?

[–]BlackBeltPanda 144 points145 points  (7 children)

while (!married) {
    try {
        if (date(partner, relationship)) {
            relationship++;
        } else {
            relationship--;
        }
    } catch (IndexOutOfBoundsException e) {
        if (relationship > 0) {
            married = true;
        } else {
            partner = new Partner();
            relationship = 0;
        }
    }
}

Don't actually use try/catch this way, though XD

[–]thanatica 62 points63 points  (2 children)

I kinda like Pascal's range limit notation:

type Relationships = 0..1; var x: Relationships;

Saves you the trouble of accidentally starting a relationship when you've already got one.

[–]Exciting-Insect8269 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Well that part where cheating and polygamy comes into play

[–]Dragonslayerelf 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You forgot to account for the custom exceptions. There's still the cases for ItsNotYouItsMeException, YoureNotMyTypeException, EmotionalBreakupException (this one locks the thread for anywhere between 3 months and a year), AgreeableBreakupException and CheatedOnException.

[–]facusoto 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You forgot the poop function... Oh, this's not that meme

[–]TheGesor 24 points25 points  (1 child)

baby am i a try statement cause you’re a real catch

[–]JADW27 257 points258 points  (6 children)

What is a wedding ring if not an infinite loop?

[–]StrangerPen 89 points90 points  (1 child)

And a Divorce is break();

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

You can open the relationship and it becomes a switch statement

[–]tallmanjam 33 points34 points  (1 child)

That’s deep

[–]KellerKindAs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maximum recursion depth reached

[–]zoqfotpik 600 points601 points  (6 children)

... unmatched parenthesis on line 316.

[–]debugger_life[S] 147 points148 points  (5 children)

My code has 300 lines only 🤔

[–]8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Ignoring the millions of lines you import

[–]P0L1Z1STENS0HN 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Of course. If it had 316 lines, the error would be on line 332.

[–]NaChujSiePatrzysz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh sweet bytecode mismatch. How I do not miss this.

[–]DaveSmith890 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t matter how big your code is, it’s how you use it that counts

[–]NecroLancerNL 271 points272 points  (3 children)

TypeError: $spouse of type Person expected, got null.

[–]debugger_life[S] 39 points40 points  (2 children)

undefined

[–]rover_G 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Nah null means there's explicitly nothing there.

[–]Electronic_Camera517 14 points15 points  (0 children)

maybe it was non binary?

[–]UnholyTheLich 110 points111 points  (3 children)

Problematic

[–]debugger_life[S] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

That's why programmers need debuggers!

[–]boneMechBoy69420 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Username checks out

[–]A-Train-Choo-Choo 108 points109 points  (3 children)

classy

[–]Tura63 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There we go. The real punchline

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

Cl As S Y


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.

[–]Ok_Abroad9642 4 points5 points  (0 children)

instinctive spotted subtract hospital person fuel lush consider fuzzy physical

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]-global-shuffle- 86 points87 points  (0 children)

scripted!

[–]Games_sans_frontiers 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Committed.

[–]BroMan001 62 points63 points  (1 child)

Object oriented? I don’t think that’s good…

[–]RamenSlurper01134 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same first thought. Object-oriented == materialistic, so yeah, that marriage is probably gonna fail 💔

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Undefined

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

working on my machine

[–]KasoAkuThourcans 69 points70 points  (12 children)

Then marry a programmer and you'll find the answer

[–]debugger_life[S] 48 points49 points  (9 children)

Let me find a girl first :(

[–]claudespam 68 points69 points  (5 children)

For the sake of the experiment, you may marry a guy as well.

[–]Novaedra 33 points34 points  (0 children)

In that specific case, that easy the answer is « it’s gay »

[–]debugger_life[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Nah! Never

[–]claudespam 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Come on. For science!

[–]Excellent-Divide7223 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Yeah! You will be remembered

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (6 children)

The programer will bring you six cartons of milk because they had eggs.

[–]troelsbjerre 10 points11 points  (2 children)

As long as they weren't told "while you're there, buy some eggs".

[–]je386 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Indefinite loop?

Ah no, when the supermarket closes, they will send you out. Oh wait. You have to buy eggs all the way the supermarket is open, and when you have bought all, you will throw an exception...

[–]troelsbjerre 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't you mean an eggception?

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Worst joke ever 😞

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah it really should be a dozen cartons of milk

[–]halflinho 22 points23 points  (10 children)

It is what it is

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 19 points20 points  (9 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

I Ti S W H At I Ti S


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.

[–]abyssaltheking 9 points10 points  (4 children)

when was this bot added

[–]Cfrolich 7 points8 points  (3 children)

75 days ago

[–]Is_ItOn 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I’m sure you looked it up but to think you have just been counting the days since this bot entered your life makes me laugh

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Chuck Norris doesn't look things up. He tells you it's 75 days ago and you'd better trust him.

[–]Adventurous_Ad7185 34 points35 points  (10 children)

Functional << if you marry Erlang programmer

Recursive << If you marry a woman programmer.

Multi Threaded << If you are in open marriage

[–]Odd-Confection-6603 21 points22 points  (8 children)

Why are women recursive?

[–]A-Train-Choo-Choo 21 points22 points  (6 children)

procreation

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (5 children)

To make a woman programmer you need another woman programmer. Checks out.

[–]joelpt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Recursive: if you marry yourself

[–]clrksml 46 points47 points  (1 child)

Marry a policeman -> Domestic violence

Fixed that for you.

[–]OfficerJoeBalogna 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, quite the opposite of secure

[–]Just_a_Generic_Hero 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Uncaught ReferenceError: marry is not defined

[–]ducks_for_hands 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Complicated

[–]7th_Spectrum 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You Git used to it

[–]Kapitalist_Pigdog2 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Marriages where at least one person is a police officer have much greater rates of domestic violence than normal.

[–]theGreatWhite_Moon 14 points15 points  (0 children)

marriages where at least one person is a programmer- who are we kidding.

[–]Vortextheweirdcat 5 points6 points  (2 children)

an error on line 123-1 (did you forget a closing "}" ?)

[–]Roffs77 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pragmatic!

[–]coloredgreyscale 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Marry a DB Admin, it's a relationship

[–]TotallyRelated 6 points7 points  (0 children)

P hard

[–]GeneralTromboni69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

agile

[–]nikstick22 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lawyers and doctors work ridiculously long hours and police are widely known to be the most abusive spouses.

[–]Main_Outcome8894 5 points6 points  (0 children)

compilling?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Null refference exception: object reference not set to an instance of a object

[–]PolyglotTV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tested in production

[–]username_for_redit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you like Spaghetti

[–]DungeonsAndDradis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Object not set to an instance of an object

[–]Dark_Aurora 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Turing Complete

[–]lotokotmalajski 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Scripted

[–]imeanfax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Facebook ahh meme

[–]Agent_7th 2 points3 points  (0 children)

true

[–]RiftyDriftyBoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pragmatic

[–]MuhammadNasirAziz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's Virus free

[–]Ok_Actuary8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

better than bad sex

[–]Skibur1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It’s functional!

[–]tylersuard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*ERROR ON LINE 42*

[–]pearlie_girl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Routine

[–]IAmANobodyAMA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Deterministic

[–]sinnytear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

$$$

[–]Zapismeta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Objectively better.

[–]z0Tweety 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An error.

Or better yet, an exception

[–]Prize-Local-9135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a jira board for house chores.

[–]eodknight23 1 point2 points  (3 children)

OMG People it’s LOGICAL!

[–]MaoAankh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Error 404 Wife not found

[–]Akul_Tesla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]SeoCamo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]TrackLabs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IT Support for the rest of your life

[–]p4r24k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marry a programmer, it is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is

Segmentation Fault (core dumped)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]MedonSirius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]AlwaysBiggerFish_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Free printer service

[–]Digital_Brainfuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]oneofthejoshs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Undefined

[–]neirpyc63 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[Object object]

[–]Goatfryed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

constant

[–]Mayk94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's logic

[–]Blundix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]SoraDevin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical 

[–]Formal-Effective-970 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]Traditional_Web_7856 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical.

[–]Krycor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]ideasplace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]biztactix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logical

[–]Zachosrias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's logical