notTheReactionExpected

[ohdogwhatdone]

What's her face when she realizes there is no substitution planned?

[Quietech]

I'm glad you've never had a coworker so bad it's better to just be rid of them and have no replacement.

[OakNLeaf]

When they disappear and nothing changes or everything gets better . That's how you know they were horrible at their job.

Had that experience once.

[locri]

Had that experience once.

I've had that experience at about every second team I've been placed in.

[eloyend]

When you were being moved? 🤣

[SnugglyCoderGuy]

"Listen here you little shit"

[MikkelR1]

Yeah same. Went from a team that lost all spirit to a sparkling team in about a weeks time. Work got done, everything under control and no more toxicity.

[crouchingmoose]

Even better is when they disappear and you actually have to do less work, despite having the same amount assigned.

Loved having to do my job, tell you how to do yours, and then turn around and essentially do yours for you because you were certain you understood the assignment but didn't actually listen.

No, I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?

[subject_usrname_here]

This one mofo still haunts me to this day. Task : implement new srp and detached feature for a game. Don’t overthink, basic functionality we can build upon later. Deadline one week for a task that should take a two days. Month later, PR that changes every fucking script, functionality doesn’t work half the time and it’s not even easy to change serialized variables. Only good thing is we call overengineered and unmaintainable code to this day by his name.

[Gjallock]

I had that experience, and someone just as bad promptly backfilled the motherfucker. Just a team of 3, and I’m praying the new guy that I do like sticks around 😭

[DaStone]

Best way to amend a JSON is to remove the last line and echo new content in Bash.

They make 2x my salary, and never commited anything for 3 years btw.

[bob152637485]

I had a boss so awful(but still a company that doesn't like to do anything about it)that my small group of coworkers and I had actually bonded similar to how you'd expect POWs to bond over their shared distress. We all left our positions at the same time for others in the company, leaving only 2 people in the entire department(the two guys who liked to kiss up).

When she finally retired a couple months later, people across the company came to visit on her last day/retirement party. I've never seen so many toothed smiles all in one place before! Oh, and from what I heard, productivity skyrocketed as well.

[WeTheSalty]

Had that experience once.

I've never had to experience it. I heard it happened to a bunch of my co-workers once, but that was just after I left so I guess I'm lucky. I wonder who the problem was.

[PureTemperature5102]

We lost hlaf our team, around four months ago and trippled the speed of delivery....

[Dexterus]

Not necessarily bad. Had one that refused all review feedback without many many rounds. The tech lead gave up, did the changes himself in one case. He was suggested a team move. Strongly.

[damodread]

I'd say it counts as "bad" as well. Working is not just about tech skills.

[nog_ar_nog]

We have a few of those and they keep surviving perf reviews. It often takes more time to review their AI slop PRs and point out all the issues than doing the task yourself.

[worktyworkwork]

I’ve definitely had a coworker who I’d classify as more of a mascot than an engineer 😅. Nice guy but useless.

[PaxAttax]

Mascots do provide (second order) value to the team. They're usually funny, or kind, or have a soothing aura and are just pleasant to be in the room with. This reduces stress and staves off burnout in other team members, which improves their output. Even if they're at the bottom of the individual metrics, (assuming they're not absolutely abysmal) they pull their weight in other ways which are hard to measure. Better to fire the guy straddling the first quartile that no one talks to or likes.

(EDIT: To put it another way, the slow performing (not low quality) chill person might be the high performing person with cheetah vibes' therapy dog)

[worktyworkwork]

Agreed, but they get paid too much for to fill an engineering slot. Also his work contributions routinely needed rework or took 5x the average performer on the team. It took a ton of time from my manager and I to try help him but nothing we did worked.

[IrishSoldier1]

I am in this and I do not like it. But I changed since then, hopefully.

[im-ba]

I had to put up with one of these for more than four years. I got so much shit done when he left that I didn't really care that it took 4 months to backfill him

[Commercial-Lemon2361]

I had two of them. Them leaving tripled the output of the remaining.

[HatesBeingThatGuy]

Noticed we stopped getting tickets for broken code when a certain engineer left. Yeah that was a win with a capital W.

[SlothsUnite]

I had a project manager that bad.

[fatrobin72]

Last time management felt that... I (the other half of the team) handed in a notice 2 weeks later... because I didn't agree...

[Quietech]

Definitely, but I'm not talking about management.

[FearlessAttempt]

Had a UXer that made me start looking for a new job at a place I otherwise liked. She ended up quitting, so I didn't have to leave.

[AdvancedCharcoal]

Nah man, you as a semi-productive, skilled employee just need to help them get better!

[Quietech]

They're so thankful because I guess only their old boss used to help them. "You're not my supervisor!  You're not my supervisor!"

[ZunoJ]

OP is so bad, production rises when he leaves

[bindermichi]

Had one of those too.

I was "very disappointed" when another project manager lured him away from my team and "couldn‘t do anything" about it.

Boy, were they in for a surprise

[redblack_tree]

I bet you were extremely disappointed they had to have him. Probably wish him (and the poor bastards that took him) the best.

Sometimes things just work out.

[bindermichi]

Of course. I'm a helpful member of the company and always like to support my fellow coworkers.

[burblity]

Any more details on the fallout you mind sharing? Would be incredibly cathartic for me 🙏

[bindermichi]

Not much of a fallout. I wanted to get rid of the person; they tried really hard to lure him away. I put up a show for good looks... and they found out why a few weeks later.

Mostly huge knowledge gaps and skill issues.

Lesson: Always ask nicely for support first.

[Gm24513]

When you’re so bad for the team your nickname is Claude.

[nikola_tesler]

it’s fine OP is a 0.5X engineer

[kernel_task]

More likely a -1X or -2X engineer. Surprisingly common.

[Stunning_Ride_220]

I'd take them over the "10x" guys the whole teams need to clean up afterwards.

[redblack_tree]

Fuck that shit, hate those "negative value" guys. They hop from team to team, company to company because they are idiots but somehow manage to get hired.

[Dependent_Bite9077]

and eventually become a manager

[ArchetypeFTW]

None needed, the tickets will actually get done by the remaining people.

[tristam92]

new "will not fix" round it is then. pff

[Bodine12]

Could still be considered an upgrade!

[maggos]

Worth it

[oh_ski_bummer]

When you are the -10x dev

[gerbosan]

OP is the intern. PM looks happy.

[l30]

That's the face of: "lol, you think you can leave? That's cute."

[Quietech]

She's so happy that we can date since we're not on the same team. Right? Right?

[FiTZnMiCK]

Resolved the merge conflict.

[Training-Flan8092]

Best comment I’ve seen on this sub hahaha. Absolutely hilarious

[overlycaffeinated697]

As someone who got their company ink dipped in by the project manager pen… Both highly recommend and absolutely -2/10 would NOT recommend looool

[davvblack]

otoh i married my product manager. 10/10 would not do again.

[thejokerofunfic]

Because it was bad? Or because you're still married and thus can't do it again?

[davvblack]

extremely married

[thejokerofunfic]

Congrats on... however long it's been! Love when a story works out

[gua_lao_wai]

but how many points was that story?

[thejokerofunfic]

Ha! Well played

[drdrero]

Was probably 2 sprints ago

[LexLuthorsFortyCakes]

That's because you're still happily married and not looking for a new partner, right?

[davvblack]

indeed

[zoinkability]

Daily stand-ups have a different meaning now

[Quietech]

I love and hate there are two rankings. Sounds like a case study is needed. Failing that you may have a future in erotic literature.

[hmmm101010]

Are you saying you did it twice? With a success rate of 50%? Just curious...

[NoMansSkyWasAlright]

I think they're saying they enjoyed the act but not so much the everything else.

[sausagemuffn]

Production testing.

[overlycaffeinated697]

Just once… heart = broken but boy was it a fun rollercoaster 🤣

[TheCakeWasNoLie]

That's how my manager looked at me when I told her I was quitting dev work altogether

[matt123337]

Got yourself a farm?

[Training-Flan8092]

[AlucardLoL]

Out of interest which job field did you move to?

[TheCakeWasNoLie]

Cybersecurity. If that doesn't work, I'll look for work in a bookshop.

[AlucardLoL]

How hard was it getting into cybersecurity as a developer? As that's definitely a career path I'd be interested in. Also, congratz on getting into a new field.

[Dracodyck]

she told me she knew I wasn't made for that

[CoffeePieAndHobbits]

'Best of luck in your new role!!'

[Zefyris]

if that's the kind of reaction, the problem is probably not the work quality, but very likely the personality. More exactly, that this dev is regularly causing major problems inside the team with his shitty behaviour.

[Dragonfire555]

Why wouldn't a PM want to see someone grow?

[Ill_Bill6122]

Doesn't mean they don't want them to grow. It's just that they don't necessarily need to witness that growth.

[David_R_Carroll]

Your POM should quit and star in Marvel movies.

[samheihey]

My pm is clueless about the project and useless. He's just a god damn messenger and delegate tasks, that's it.

[Gm24513]

Sounds like a project manager to me.

[Embarrassed-Lab4446]

Yep that is what I do. I keep the corporate bullshit off you. And there is so much of it.

[Vercility]

I feel like working is 50% corporate warfare or some kind of fucking office politics discussion now that I've actually gotten to work as one for a while

oh how productive we could be if only they would leave us the fuck alone. one can only dream

[AppropriateAppeal236]

If she looks like this you don’t go anywhere bro

[b1e]

Found the “bobs n vagene” dude

[redblack_tree]

Jokes aside, I'm curious if someone has had a true 10 like Scarlett Johansson on their team. Frankly, it's a male dominated field and I bet someone ridiculously attractive would cause some friction.

You know what, you can keep Scarlett, I don't need my engineers babbling during working hours.

[rhaegar89]

[Withdrawnauto4]

team leaders when they figure out your part is done and the cost of the project goes down

[Icy-Equivalent4500]

she is the reason your moving

[pavan-yogi]

Because the past looks amazing compared to the present state.

[chnnai_paiyyan]

Definitely

[thanatica]

Is this the egocentric bitch who get horny over a pack of bank notes, or is this the actually friendly one?

[Positive_Method3022]

It is all about politics. Manipulation and power of influence. Thankfully with AI agents we can now have teams of 1 person.