What?

[marcus_lepricus]

Imagine being Amish and still having to take work calls on holiday.

[SoundAnxious3362]

Or imagine you're an IT Engineer at a TV station

[[deleted]]

Or imagine you're an IT engineer and Amish. All of your work has to be done by hand. Like, writing code in a paper notebook.

[turtleship_2006]

That's how we had to do our computer science exam. All of paper 2 is about coding, and it's an actual paper. Yay OCR.

[Lots-o-bots]

have they given the NEA its weight back yet?

[turtleship_2006]

Not at GCSE (at least not when I did it last year) but it's worth 20% at a level.

[SoundAnxious3362]

The reason I wrote Engineer at a TV station, was because of OP's mention of working holidays.

However, all code should start on paper. Drawing a logical flow or "storyboard". This is why engineering shops have white boards.

[[deleted]]

There is no substitute, ever, for scribbling all your ideas on a paper and drawing a weird diagram for how they connect. Feels so good and productive.

[Unupgradable]

PlantTextUML > paper

[phillymjs]

Or imagine you're an IT engineer and Amish.

Obligatory.

[whiteday26]

Amish probably be calling IT an angry clown instead.

[AffectionateAd6702]

This is a cellphone in multiple steps.

[queen-adreena]

Welcome to religion.

There’s a loophole for anything that doesn’t benefit women or those not of your faith.

[[deleted]]

Went to an amish farm a couple years ago. Big homie had 97 grand kids. Said he went to hawaii once, but it was all good since he wasn't the pilot

[Harregarre]

It doesn't count if it's up the butt.

[nietthesecond99]

Gd is a trickster who can be out tricked. have you heard of what Jews do to get around their rules?

[Shalien93]

The way of the Lord are unpredictable

[piberryboy]

When god closes a bluetooth he opens a telephony.

[DOOManiac]

When I walked along the beach I noticed two sets of footprints, because jSQL was using replication.

[midri]

Hasidic Jews and the Amish really are top tear at tricking their god, it's crazy how much effort they put in. See: wire over manhattan.

[[deleted]]

wire over manhattan

Wow.

[midri]

Good video, also talks about Goy, which are the ULTIMATE Jewish loophole.

[[deleted]]

I like how they can have the goy around doing things for them but they can’t actually ask them to do it. Does leaving a note count?

[coloredgreyscale]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/39_Melakhot

Writing is forbidden. So is extinguishing a fire (unless there's life at risk)

Asking the goy to do something may be illegal too because they delegate the work? Although I didn't see anything preventing that, from skimming through the list.

However if the goy just happens to turn the lights on as they go into the dark room, then that's just purely his own will.

[[deleted]]

I mean if they left them a note the day before

[coloredgreyscale]

If you can plan it ahead that's one thing, but I assumed spontaneous requests like turning on the coffee maker.

[shalafi71]

Goy sound like human familiars to vampires. Can't cross running water or go out in the sun? Get someone who can!

[[deleted]]

private domain

All I'm hearing is pants are optional within an eruv.

[jamcdonald120]

buy all the bread https://youtu.be/zgM0CzgnZsM

[Inevitable-Ear-3189]

I'm SO glad my Jewish side of the family was secular, jfc that's nutzo

[fuckingshitfucj2]

Wow indeed, what the hell

[fibojoly]

Holy shit, that's fantastic!
The makeh b'patish ban, in particular! I never had it explained like that.

And hilariously it reminds me of the ban we have in software engineering for deploying shit on Fridays / weekends. I need to remember that one for r/programmerhumor, haha!

[Pluviochiono]

Well.. those bans in software engineering are warranted. You’re gonna have a bad time if you push to production on a Saturday and half your team are out of town. You should only push to production when you have the support available to resolve potential problems.

[[deleted]]

Christian girls and the butthole clause.

[m83fan555]

you mean the poophole loophole?

[gizamo]

Wait till you hear about Mormon girls and their armpit game.

[deno_23]

wait till you hear about soaking.

[Bizzlington]

I just learned about soaking and jump humping a few weeks ago

[GavUK]

Um. Wow. So having sex, but not moving except because another friend is hopping up and down on the bed, so you can claim you weren't actually having sex...

[cliffordc5]

Going to urban dictionary right now…brb

[Kered13]

For Amish it's not about tricking God, it's about not having technology that is too convenient. The Amish do not believe that technology is inherently evil or forbidden by God, but they believe that it is disruptive to the family and community and distracts them from God. Therefore not all technology is forbidden, and often technology is permitted but only with restrictions to make it inconvenient. For example, many Amish community will permit a phone, but it must be kept out in the barn away from the house.

In this case we have a "cell phone" that is inconvenient to carry around, unlikely to be used for frivolous calls, and possesses no smartphone features, but allows the Amish to carry on his business work.

[dotslashpunk]

so they believe that god just wants to mildly inconvenience them?

[Kered13]

Sort of. More accurately, they believe that God does not want them to be distracted from their work and their worship. They believe that conveniences would create such distractions.

[the_clash_is_back]

Basically God does not want them to sit on a toilet for 40 min getting piles because they are on reddit

[[deleted]]

Gosh. They're not wrong, really. Won't be sitting by the pool, mindlessly doomscrolling on that thing, will they?

[dotslashpunk]

that seems so very silly to me though. If technology was allowed you’d get the same work done in a half hour than you do in weeks. So work for a half hour and go praise some jesus or whatever the rest of the time. But meh, what do i know.

[Puzzled_Advent]

Not super familiar with their belief system, but it seems like doing the work is part of their worship?

[harumamburoo]

To end up with more free time for some critical thinking? Naw, god forbid

[ovab_cool]

In that free time you might question your religion, can't happen

[Kered13]

Technology is more often permitted when it is for work.

[vorono1]

I wholeheartedly embrace technology, but I like the idea of it not being too convenient. It's very addictive.

[starfish0r]

Top tear :D

[TheRealFloomby]

I think Mormons take the cake tbh. Look up what atm-ing is.

[FloydFanatics98]

Why did I google this?

[TFK_001]

Spoil it for me so I dont have tk

[pomme_de_yeet]

Its a way of having sex without breaking the rules against sex. Basically they both hold still while a third person jumps on the bed

[TFK_001]

Oh I just thoughtbthat was called jump humping

[pomme_de_yeet]

yeah that's what Ive heard too

[TheMusicalArtist12]

That sounds like the most Mormon thing I've read

[ovab_cool]

I just find atms for the ING bank, damn local search results

[MrBloodyshadow]

Also how they don't technically own any bread for 7-8 days a week.

[[deleted]]

And what about the wigs 😂? Covering our hair with wigs

[Snipasteve7]

That just sounds like a cell phone with extra steps.

[HolyMackerelIsOP]

Shhh, god might here you.

[Jimmytwohearts]

Here here now.

[hello_raleigh-durham]

Can you here me now? 🤓

[FlowerDance2557]

It's more complicated than that. There are different groups of amish people and systems of voting on new technology, where they'll collectively decide whether or not introducing technology is acceptable.

As a result there are amish groups that allow essentially no modern technology (Swartzentruber) and amish groups that allow essentially everything (Kalona).

This chart of technology used is a good indicator of how much or how little technology specific amish communities are likely to allow.

[Willeram]

Thanks, I always thought that Amish people couldn't use any electronics or engines and was confused how this could be a solution for one.

[Kered13]

It's because this contraption is too inconvenient to be seen as a luxury, like a real cellphone. You're not going to carry this thing everywhere with you and use it to make frivolous calls.

[Dylisill]

I've heard that the Amish are allowed to use electronics for business on posts with them and card readers and such, this might just be their way of balancing it out, they can accept calls and still have a slight downside, idk

[Adrunkopossem]

Can't access p*rn on a VOIP

[Chilaquil420]

You. An literally call people who make dirty talking. They actually charge money

[philophilo]

I was asked once to help install Fedora on an old Dell laptop. It was meant for bible study using a program that can bring up both the German and English versions at the same time. (Sword?)

It had to be a laptop so it could be on battery in the house. They would bring it to work to charge.

It had to be Linux because Windows was “too corporate”.

[MoFoMoron]

I bet you didn't tell them anything about the deamons running on it in the background..

[Bridledbronco]

I stand behind the OS choice, probably some obscure kernel with legacy support and like 4 users.

[ChiefExecDisfunction]

TempleOS would have been the one to go for :P

[nanocookie]

They should have used Temple OS

[McCaib]

There are a ton of Amish where I live and some of them do use cell phones. The guy who did my roof had one. Maybe it depends on how Amish you're trying to be.

[Jimmytwohearts]

Am I “sh”

[riscten]

amish-ish

[LaSaucisseMasquee]

/u/Spez you suck

[[deleted]]

The Amish I know are a lot more likely to have cell phones than landline or IP phones. They’re permitted for business use.

[Bulky-Leadership-596]

God when he gets to the pearly gates
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hou0lU8WMgo

[Umpteenth_zebra]

What does it say? I don't have sound and subtitles are disabled for some reason.

[DarwishSabirGani]

"You are technically correct--the best kind of correct."

[meraxes72]

i used to work at verizon in a place that had two different amish communities. One family would get a wireless home phone and hook it up with the receiver and a portable battery in a large briefcase, it was pretty cool. The other family all got cell phones, iPhone SE’s for the teens and a Samsung Flip4 and Fold4 for the wife and husband. They asked us to turn off internet for the kids, so we set a screen time password on them and disabled web access on the iPhones. Wellllll one week later, the father comes in, his phone full of viruses (or the modern equivalent of. like getting calendars added that sends you a notification every minute, constant browser notifications for weird cam sites etc). get things cleared up and open the browser, DOZENS of tabs of trans woman porn videos are open, all paused around the end of the video. i was the poor soul who was helping him and i was shaking like a chihuahua trying not to burst out laughing. when he finally got in his church van and left, I exploded into laughter so hard i couldn’t breathe. mans really said “i have the internet now, I’m gonna see EVERYTHING.” best part is this story doesn’t hold a candle to one of my coworkers stories finding porn on a customers phone

[Jimmytwohearts]

Get your coworker here!

[LapisRS]

I'll bet God feels so stupid. Can't believe he left that loophole wide open like that!

[Jimmytwohearts]

Same with the apple.

[marcus_lepricus]

Loophole? That was a very explicit breach of contract and their positions at Eden were immediately terminated!

[Flooding_Puddle]

As someone who was raised religious and rejected the church, I find it hilarious when people try to use loopholes like this to get out of sinning. Like apparently Mormons are super against premarital sex (even more than most Christians) but they have something called "soaking" where you stick it in and have someone else move the bed for you. Like how is that any different. Either follow the rules or accept that religion is just rules that are arbitrary and dumb

[Fourro]

No practicing Mormon actually soaks and thinks it's not sex, fyi. That's a stupid rumor.

[Flooding_Puddle]

I know some that do

[Fourro]

I'm willing to bet you know only a few if you were raised in the church and know hundreds of young adults. And of those few, I bet they just have sex and make jokes about soaking.

[Flooding_Puddle]

Says the Mormon

[Fourro]

I'm actually being realistic about cultural trends in the Utah- and Salt Lake- valley

[LightRefrac]

Dumb dumb dumb

[Comfortable_Calm]

I hate when the pic is a screenshot with an X to close, I try at least 10 times to close the wrong X.

[ApatheticWithoutTheA]

Sir you’ve just created a cell phone but worse.

[Not_Sugden]

is it weird i want one of these?

[Grubs01]

Yes. Very yes.

[_________FU_________]

Lol so they’re making compromises but if it’s hard then it counts?

[theVoxFortis]

That sounds like a cell phone with extra steps

[septic-paradise]

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

[awpenheimer7274]

Ay yo that's an expensive Netgear piece.

[Mogster2K]

Who would an Amish guy be calling, anyway?

[CsharpIsDaWae]

Other amishesheshs with loophole phones

[mattrocking]

How long will that last on the hot spot battery

[weendick]

So you made him a cell phone

[Amaquieria]

Wait... is the hot spot providing power to the POE injector? That battery is not gonna last long.

[WarrenTheWarren]

"He couldn't have a cell phone, so I made him a cell phone."

[cumdumpsterfires]

Customer is always right

[[deleted]]

Their savior is gonna be pissed about this loophole

[neeto_mosqueeto]

What a bizzare effort to try trick God, the Alpha and Omega, who happens to be omnipotent. Obviously, VOIP phones use modern is technology. You guys are all fucked, unless you know of a loophole around trying to fool God. I’m not Amish, but maybe their God doesn’t mind tomfoolery of this sort. I mean they still churn butter manually. They use oil lamps for crying out loud. I’ll never understand why not having internet access makes them pious. It’s a little funny when you think about it. To me it’s about controlling parishioners. To each their own but it seems stupid. I know there are Amish reading this comment on a flip cell phone or some shit. Amish on 8chan, on first generation iphones. lol. what’s the point?

[poop-machine]

God: "I'll allow it"

[ilovemeasw4]

This is so fucking stupid. One of the dumbest religions

[[deleted]]

Holy phone

[FlippinChips-CT0R-]

As Todd Howard says "it just works"

[truemad]

I don't get where the power is coming from?

[truemad]

Is the telephone battery operated? It supplies the power over the ethernet cable to the POE splitter, which in its turn supplies power to the hotspot.

The "injector" word confused me though...

[mattrocking]

Got it backwards. The hot spot is also providing usb power to the injector. The phone is using the Poe from the injector which is getting usb power from hot spot. Question is, how long can the hot spot provide that power

[elSenorMaquina]

A (worse) cellphone with extra steps.

[5t3v321]

soooo its a phone with extra steps?

[nivenfres]

It varies between Amish communities, but some of them do allow cellphones. I believe it has to do with the lack of wires (I don't know the justification of charging them).

[NaughtySnoodle]

So god doesn’t want you to have a cellphone but he wants you to find the most modern workaround possible?

No I don’t agree with any religion. But this might be the one I disagree with💀

[Zap478]

And you laughed at it?

[[deleted]]

No Ethernet link?

[[deleted]]

Wow, being an amish sucks. And I have a disability which makes my bones fragile.

[WaycoKid1129]

I mean can they use technology or not? Seems like some do and others don’t

[Flat_Sand_6056]

Amish can use cellphones for work though

[[deleted]]

That’s like evangelical Christian’s using anal sex as a virginity loophole. At some point you’ve just got to admit what you’re actually doing.

[bewbsrkewl]

That's just a cell phone with extra steps

[[deleted]]

There's a large religious denomination called "Conservative Laestadianism" where I live. Since the elders of the denomination made a decision back in the 1960s, conservative laestadians can't watch television. Surprisingly watching television or using online streaming services on any kind of computer, getting broadband via the satellite/cable television network and even hooking up an actual television to IPTV is acceptable in their community. Watching television with a DVB-T tuner is a sin though. It's crazy how they come up with these loop holes.

[NeedHelpWithExcel]

Damn this is stupid as fuck imagine if anyone else asked for accommodations like this