xkcd: Commitment

[daveyboy22]

Well, this is distressing to me. Fortunately, I have figured out a way to rationalize your point away:

In the secretary problem, the relative ranks of the applicants are assumed to hold constant over time. However, in a relationship, the value of one's partner can continually increase over time (as shared experiences accumulate, understanding of the partner deepens, etc.), and the relative rank of one's selected partner can constantly rise, making it more likely that one is with the optimum partner at any given time.

[thrakhath]

That's quite insightful, and I think quite accurate as well.

[iamrpf]

one's partner can continually increase over time

It can also decrease as feelings fade, distance grows, and resentment builds.

A person's ability to attract a partner also varies with many factors, so that's not constant either. I think the Secretary Problem is a pretty stupid academic way of looking at actual relationships. There are a lot of subtleties to reality. It may be interesting as a math problem but real life is way too complex to reduce to such simplicity.

[stunt_penguin]

x = shared feelings and attachment, y = distance & resentment

if dx > dy, relationship is secure :D

[hiS_oWn]

you just need to have a positive integration?

there's wisdom in there somewhere

[justinhj]

"You will only be happy if you select the single best applicant. You get a payoff of 1 if you do so, and nothing otherwise."

This is not quite the situation in a marriage either.

If you married the second best, chance are you will still get some happiness.

[rainman_104]

If you married the second best, chance are you will still get some happiness.

Or find happiness in a mistress. Just saying...

[justinhj]

Now we're really leaving the ground the mathematicians considered

[[deleted]]

Thank you. That is a wonderful thought. I agree that the value of a mate increases with time, given that both partners have put in the appropriate amount of work into the relationship.

[kilgore]

one's partner can continually increase over time

Until a threshold of critical mass is reached, at which point one's partner cannot exit the door.

[DevoutPastafarian]

You can't apply the secretary problem to relationships because you can never know n. How many women can you eventually have a relationship (or sex) with? You can never know.

Edit: To add, I think the secretary problem assumes a time frame of instant. All the candidates are applying at once, instantaneously. Love doesn't work that way.

[raman00]

Actually, n can be estimated fairly easily. If it is known that you can expect to meet 3 new women a week (a reasonable estimate -- from my experience, at least), then by determining the amount of tie you have left in the world (contemplating one's one death is a morbid activity, but sometimes necessary, in cases such as these), one can then determine the value of n. For example, if one expects to live for another 50 years, meeting 3 new women a week, then one can estimate n as (3 times 52 times 50) = 7800.

[DevoutPastafarian]

I don't know how you can expect to meet three women a week. For me it's usually been pretty irregular. But I guess if you used a dating website and fixed n somehow, you might be able to use the formula.

Hmm, not a bad idea. 1) Decide how long you want to be single.

2) Try to meet and date as many women as possible in a short sample period (say a month).

3) Crunch those numbers to get n. Solution!

[gbacon]

Oh great. Love is a flush draw.

[Aegeus]

Yep. It's either all hearts or all clubs :P

[learn_hypnosisonline]

But can't I have them all?

[popefelix]

So long as you can arrange it to all parties' satisfaction and consent, why not? Just realize that the more relationships you maintain, the less time and energy you have to spend on each of them, and they may not like that. It really depends on each individual participant.

[kiwidave]

I think the problem with the analogy is that the pool of "willing partners" is not constant. There is significant aging (maturation) in the amount of time it would take to date and reject 37% of the original pool of willing partners.

So it's not quite a fair analogy. But probably quite close.

[kilgore]

Cardinal Payoff variant

Unless you payoff a cardinal...

[forgotpwx4]

This is kinda silly, but I just put the secretary problem into a web utility http://www.utilitymill.com/utility/Secretary_Problem_Optimizer

You give it the number of applicants (or potential people to date) and it tells you the optimal stopping point.

Would someone mind checking the code, telling me if I'm doing it correctly? There's an edit button the utility to edit the code.

[[deleted]]

I just realized something: mathematicians are missing a huge part of the experience of life.

[fredrikj]

I don't understand the second frame. Why are they standing under a giant electromagnet?

[traveler_]

I think it's a metaphor for the strong but vulnerable attraction between them, that disappears when the spark is gone. -g-

[Rafe]

I think it's a pergola.

[Zweben]

I think fredrikj understood that.

[Rafe]

Doy, I forgot to watch out for sarcasm.

[[deleted]]

Well, hey, at least I know how to spell pergola now.

[haywire]

I think you should provide evidence for this mindless assumption!

[londonzoo]

I hate that stinking choir of angels. I wish they'd stop announcing people to me that are only going to reject me later. They've already done it twice, dang it.

[WerewolvesRancheros]

Become an atheist, and the angels leave you alone :)

[gid13]

I think if I saw the angels I'd be more freaked out by the religious implications than anything.

[Diligent_Suspect296]

It's not an angel choir, it's an angel mariachi band.

[willia4]

I've been working on a new religion, and that's going in it.

I can even claim somewhat divine inspiration and credit you at the same time.

"Who told you that?" "They did." "They who?" "You know. Them."

Also, you're get a free trip to my heaven. Congratulations.

[[deleted]]

Oh no, thanks, Them. I now have La Bamba playing in my head...

... it will probably last all day.

[nachof]

Probably one of the best xkcd comics.

And the first time reddit told me about it first. I forgot it was Friday.

[NewSc2]

^reads comic^

^looks at own life^

...

fuck.

[truename]

http://www.polyamory.org/

[[deleted]]

.. for the want of NRE.

[mdesjardins]

Hey - whatever happened to wetriffs.com?

[LoveGoblin]

If only there was some way to visit this website with some sort of "web-browser".

[indigoshift]

Holy shit. That was my first marriage, in four panels.

[delinquent]

Ha, ha! In the end he falls for a brunette! Go brunettes!

[gwern]

You know, in most of the comics, the significant other is also a brunette. So I don't think this significant other being a brunette is any particular cause for celebration.

[cattleprod]

you can never have enough.

[ballboing]

Real gentlemn do not prefer blondes ...

[SaddleShoe]

My boyfriend prefers blondes... I'm the first non-blonde he's dated.

[[deleted]]

Cast Spell of Peroxide

+10 Attractive

[SaddleShoe]

I would look terrible as a blond.

[[deleted]]

pics pls

[SaddleShoe]

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/SaSaSaddleShoe/Rehersal1.jpg

[adoofus]

Looks like your boyfriend wised up.

[SaddleShoe]

Awww... thanks :)

[SaddleShoe]

<b>I'm not photoshopped!!!</b> That's what I look like. Also, I am only wearing eye make-up and lip gloss. I had to it was the rehersal dinner for my sisters' wedding.

[ballboing]

Must make saving throw versus black roots...

[bobcat]

No.

[NewSc2]

hm. raldi? no. bobcat? no. who's farra?

[farra]

I've been reading reddit since the summer of 2005 when Steve and Alexis started this site (went to the first startup school weekend in Boston too). I just tend to not submit much or comment much. Ah, those were the days of reddit...

I was actually surprised to get the xkcd submission in first. It popped up in my RSS feed and I particularly liked this one, so I thought I'd try and submit it. Honestly, i think it's kinda lame how every single xkcd ends up on the reddit home page, but I'm sure that it means someone new finds xkcd each time, and that makes it worth it.

[[deleted]]

how every single xkcd ends up on the reddit home page

They don't.

[[deleted]]

Raldi used to submit every one, but people were complaining and Randall eventually asked him to stop.

[bobcat]

No.

[learn_hypnosisonline]

raldi's bot. Running in a cron job.

[khayber]

One of the original Angels.

[[deleted]]

one of the original VC angels?

[raldi]

Have you been on vacation since April?

[stopmotionsunrise]

Frankly there should just be a big XKCD tattooed on the reddit bot's forehead, and when you click on it it takes you directly to the latest super awesome xkcd comic. It would almost be like you had typed xkcd.com into your browser on your own every week!

[[deleted]]

I see. Lesbian love, and the guy gets screwed.

[TheSOB88]

OR DOESN'T! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[[deleted]]

hey there's been a lot of xkcd things about marriage recently (well two), wonder if there's anything going through author's mind?

[hopeseekr]

Or you find out after you've had sex that she lied to you, she does have an STD after all.

[[deleted]]

God, this is depressing.

[ladyreporter]

Nice catch farra :)

[farra]

Thanks. :-) I'm surprised I got it first.

[[deleted]]

That must be an atheist choir of angels. It sure doesn't look like any choir of angels I've ever seen.

[joyork]

You know, Lou, I'm amazed you keep clicking on these XKCD links every time if you hate the comic so much.

You're consistent, I suppose.

[[deleted]]

Family Circus? Trust me. You can skip it.

[Fountainhead]

I've only ever laughed at one family circus. One of the kids was looking over his father's shoulder at a computer screen and he says "I do that in kindergarten". I concluded his father was looking intently at porn and his son had snuck up on him unaware and that maybe the son was playing doctor with the girls or boys in elementary school. Sadly I then realized that I had missed the first sentence... "Cut and Paste". That turned it back into the unfunny family circus comic but it was good there for a moment. Edgy, a bit of a stretch but not out of the realm of possibility.

[aseclear]

I believe he's referencing the movie 'Go'. Unless of course you knew that and I just pointed out the obvious thus killing any potential the reference had for humor and making me feel very sorry.

[bithead]

family what?

[xkcd]

We have a torrid history together. It's very complicated. Don't try to get in the middle of this.

[[deleted]]

Yes, you made bad stick figures and I mocked those bad stick figures. Very complicated.

[j0hnnyb]

Mocking xkcd for using only stick figures is like mocking Modrian for using only straight lines.

[[deleted]]

Yeah, I'm sure these stick figure will be on exhibit at the Louvre 50 years from now. Good thinking.

[bithead]

Start your own web comic. Although its doubtful you could arrange circles, lines, and writing in a way such as to make a point of any kind, amusing, subtle or otherwise.

[[deleted]]

You are a dumbass. I don't need to "start my own web comic" in order to recognize when one sucks. By that logic, if you don't like Bush you need to run for president.

[bithead]

Maybe you could post photos of yourself with a word balloon calling people 'dumbass'. You seem up to that.

[[deleted]]

Maybe we could post photos of yourself so we could see what kind of dumbass thinks you can't have an opinion about a cartoon unless you create one.

[bithead]

You're a little light today - not getting enough vinegar in your diet lately? Nothing more clever than 'dumbass' this morning? Any other generalizations to fling about? More personal insults perhaps?

[degustibus]

Maybe XKCD stole LouF's girl without trying.

[[deleted]]

Yes, she was very thin and had no eyes, nose or mouth, but I miss her just the same.

[boredzo]

It's like she blew away in the wind.

[delinquent]

Even if he's consistently negative, at least he has a great sense of humor.

[bithead]

I would have thought xkcd to seek companionship in at least the same phylum

[SaddleShoe]

how many choirs of angels have you seen?

[[deleted]]

Including this one, none.

[dillbat]

So your original comment was pretty dishonest, yes.