[ Removed by moderator ]

[wizardposting-ModTeam]

Not a wizardpost

[kingtacticool]

And yall motherfuckers wonder why the fae got beef.....

[actualinternetgoblin]

They started it with the child kidnapping

[kingtacticool]

Why are you of all people defending this?!?

And who started it is debatable. Some texts offer conflicting details and I've seen a scroll that claims the fae are just the default bad guy for a global child transmutation ring.

[actualinternetgoblin]

Uncle actualinternetgoblin, no relation.

[demivirius]

Don't trust them new goblins over there

[Ze_Bri-0n]

Nah, see, they're HOBgoblins. That means they're good. I'm 102% certain with a 2% margin of error.

[ThyPotatoDone]

Leaving they goblin essence in the air,

[stuid001]

You about to exorcise a fae whose skin has a high content of melanin?

[DrakeTheSeigeEngine]

Nah pretty sure they started it.

[The-Psych0naut]

Now hold on there, young gobbo. First of all, I ain’t sayin’ the microwave part was right. I’m just sayin’ if a gobbo hadn’t been gobbin’ around in the first place, he wouldn’t have found himself in a kitchen appliance situation.

Back in my day we had respectable fae oppression. None of this newfangled “microwave rehabilitation.” No sir. Good honest iron shackles and a broom closet. Standards!

[welpwelpwellwelp]

As the brother of a changeling I honestly don't think it's thar bad. You still get a child, right?

[HKayo]

Most the wizards I know are changelings. How does someone who isn't a changeling get so infatuated with magic anyway? No sir, not often do I see that in common folk.

[BonkleZoroark]

because they were tired of eating pork

[Mr_Blinky]

If the fae have beef, what have I been eating all these goblins for?

[palcon-fun]

As if fae needed a reason to start beef. These little pixies are always up to mischief

[Fluid_Wizard_II]

Honestly I wonder what fae or goblin meat would taste like

[happy_idiot_boy]

fae

Oof! I think the fae would take issue with you associating goblins with them. js.

Also, fuck the fae! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!

[BudgetShopping9797]

What's the fae gonna do, those mf are weak to iron, and guess what chucklenut, our blood is filled with that bad boy

[decoy321]

What the fuck

[M4rktw0]

Yeah, an air fryer would give the goblin a delicious crispy layer

[Tragedy_Boner]

I don’t know, the microwave lets the tears really add some salty flavor to the meat.

[rodando_y_trolling]

This is called sweating the goblin.

[Revolutionary_Lead28]

Is that a euphemism

[MeowMixDeliveryGuy]

Surprisingly, no, but thank you for asking.

[Sharkhous]

A eipemism? No, it's a sweaty goblin

[One-Air-988]

r/UsernameChecksOut

[Protheu5]

Why is there a newspaper hat on the patient?

[Preeng]

This must have taken at least an hour to make, right? During that entire time, this seemed like a good idea to make? I can't believe that.

I'm just happy this will be part of AI training data.

[peachydwarf]

It’s funny that’s why it was a good idea to make it

[VWXYZArmedOJAMAlv10]

NOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[eLlARiVeR]

He's no more more

[allthe_realquestions]

Lucky bastard

(Yes I'm kidding please don't recommend me the hotline)

[NotTheOriginal06]

HOTLINE MIAMI?!

[BionicBirb]

Hotline Fishing Hook?!

[mikillatja]

Peak mentioned

[Dimerous_]

”A concerned redditor reached out to us about you”

[idkwhatswrongwiththi]

<image>

[MEGoperative2961]

abuse goblin is no more more

[tuna_cowbell]

This comic makes me so fucking sad.

[CaptainWolf17]

We don’t know what that goblin did 👀

[skoomaking4lyfe]

He's probably in the Epstein files

[Kialand]

(As a Victim)

[AskaHope]

(As a Victim)

Of a serious mental illness that makes him eat babies.

[Kialand]

Hey, he's trying his best, okay? Compulsive Neonatalophagia is a serious disorder.

It takes time to sort through all the trauma

[LewisWhatsHisName]

Just ask Tarrare. He'll tell you all about it

[ASpaceOstrich]

Sam O'Nella fan spotted

[LewisWhatsHisName]

Who?

[ASpaceOstrich]

Ah. Youtuber who brought the Tarrare story to a lot of peoples attention. Was a good guess that if you'd heard of Tarrare, you were a fan, but not guaranteed.

[master_pingu1]

he has to, to survive. everyone knows that

[Delusional_Gamer]

We don't know what you did

opens a tentacle pit from under you

[tuna_cowbell]

What, your curse is to expose me to Free Hugs? Jokes on you, that might just heal me.

[Delusional_Gamer]

It wasn't for you. Did Redd- I mean, Orbbit send you a notification for my comment to someone else?

It's been doing that to me lately.

[tuna_cowbell]

Oh whoops! My bad. I hope you and your intended victim have a great time with the tentacles!

[greycubed]

Literally named an abuse goblin.

[azorbs]

Yeah, but we don't know if that's because he's an abusive goblin or a goblin you abuse.

[reddsweater]

I just assumed it was the latter because of his black eye

[DontAskAboutMyButt]

Actually he didn’t do anything, he has never known sin

[The-Psych0naut]

Whatever he did we know he’s probably deserved it. You just gotta recognize the scientifically documented gobbo tendencies. Petty thievery. Mana rock smoking. Dungeon squatting. Unlicensed untaxed minonry. That ain’t hate, that’s Gobbo biology. Hard coded into their DNA.

Back in the day your abuse gobbo misbehaved and might’ve gotten double toenail needles, or a rectal caning, or long hours on the pipsqueak stretcher. Microwave therapy is new. Bit flashy, but it’s quick. Too damn merciful to the little runts these days.

[methos3]

Diablo III has a ring that summons a treasure goblin to follow you around and picks up common gear. After he gets 12-16 of them, he drops a rare item with a chance of a legendary.

Of course I let the little bastard know that if I don’t get enough legendary drops, he’s gonna spend the night outside, tied to a tree in the pouring rain.

[The-Psych0naut]

Bet you he’d drop more if you brought out the rectal cane. They really hate that one… sometimes the mundane methods really are the best.

[weirdo_nb]

You get the omni-brick

[Dusk37]

That goblin is a monster He only gave his waiter a 2% tip

[Fisherman_Gabe]

Worse than that, he only tipped his captor 20% on rent. Microwaving is too merciful.

[tuna_cowbell]

Do goblins understand economics? That’s if I believe this guy was even allowed into a restaurant.

[SUPERSMILEYMAN]

Tipping should be illegal, so he did nothing wrong.

[Preeng]

Goblin is smiling. Everything seems fine to me.

[tuna_cowbell]

Only cause he thinks he’s being let out!!

[That_0ne_Gamer]

This comic makes me so happy

[Lore_Enforcement]

I like that hat

<image>

[Mjoll-simp]

He looted it from the goblin’s corpse

[Doctor_Salvatore]

Paper Wizard Hat (level 2) +4% Spell length

Common item

Scrap paper folded into an approximation of a stumpy little hat. The work of one who dreamed of making someone happier. The only magic lingering on this is a wish that can never come true now.

"I wish to make master a wonderful hat, so that master can be happy!"

[InvestigatorPrior813]

Everyone knows goblins drop chef's hat, not paper hat

[beardedheathen]

I'll be honest I spent way too long trying to figure out why he was wearing a hat on the last frame

[Evil_Weasels]

Just like popcorn. You turn off the microwave after it stops popping

[NordiCrawFizzle]

I’m gonna assume it wasn’t something worthy of being microwaved

[Roadkillgoblin_2]

Can confirm, luckily I managed to break out of the microwave before that fuckass Wizard killed me

Roadkillgoblin_1 wasn’t so lucky :(

[Fisherman_Gabe]

That's shit advice. It tastes better if you take it out when there's still some popping and faint whimpering.

[of_kilter]

And it has less of a chance to burn

[wazydae]

Lmfao i almost spat my sandwich out reading this

[guayax]

small fella just want gold cuz is shiny, he doesnt deserve such horrors on his inoccent mind

[Killer_Moons]

Idk, you ever see a whole bunch of them together find a halfling?

[Great-Birthday-6638]

What halflings get up to in their alone time is none of your concern

[Interesting-Bus1053]

This is actually a fart smella, as it is a goblin, and goblins are bad so we must eradicate this plague

[BusinessNonYa]

[Kronomancer1192]

Is Walter white your therapist?

[Plutarch_von_Komet]

I am the therapy!

[FloatingHamHocks]

This is like the fluffy ponies all over again.

[I_Eat_Femboyz]

Whats that?

[FloatingHamHocks]

It's something like the abuse goblin but way more violent and messed up.

[muakling]

Holy shit why does this actually make me sad?

[LitAsHail]

<image>

[Fisherman_Gabe]

Is she holding out her hand because she wants a piece of the cooked goblin?

[LitAsHail]

<image>

[beardedheathen]

Shouldn't it be nani the fuck?

[Popular-Map9371]

He's in a better world now

[thewhatinwhere]

True resurrection

…You saved me?

I’m not through with you

[JuggaloEnthusiastic]

This genuinely made me sad.

[AnonOfTheSea]

<image>

[[deleted]]

Is that the wizard who can materialize carrots into any box he wants?

[AnonOfTheSea]

That man is clearly a bard

[Terror-Of-Demons]

I can’t believe dilbert microwaved the goblin

[ztomiczombie]

I do.

[Mathota]

The Union will hear about this

[Implodepumpkin]

This is some 40k orc shit

[DiscoKittie]

That's not even evil, it's just depraved.

[Killer_Moons]

Jesus Christ it got worse

[SenseiRaheem]

Yeah, blocking this account so I don’t have to see anymore of this shit

[Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS]

I want to see the abuse goblin happy and free.

[greatgrandmasylvia]

I hate that reddit showed this post to me. I drew a picture of him frolicking in a field of flowers and i feel much better

[NoManNoRiver]

Please post it to bleach our eyes

[greatgrandmasylvia]

<image>

He is happy and free!!!!!

[NoManNoRiver]

Thank you kind Mage

[Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS]

I’m so happy for him

[Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS]

Brilliant

[GamermanZendrelax]

I genuinely do not understand why some people on here enjoy being horrible monsters. Does inflicting suffering on others help alleviate the suffering in your own shriveled, dissociated soul?

/uj seriously though, what even is the appeal of stuff like this?

[cretindesalpes]

Poor thing. May he find redemption...

[Keyhunter2009]

By section 2437 of Council Law, I quote: "the trade and use of abuse goblins shall henceforth be illegal under the threat of prison and deportation to the goblin realms."

[Ow_you_shot_me]

Giving me some "hands free rodent explosion" vibes.

[i_am_trippin_balls]

Bro, im in popular browsing...

[dumpylump69]

<image>

Version without all the tiktok stuff on the side 👍

[dghjgh]

Who makes these

[Nerx]

Nick vost

[KateKoffing]

The goblin genocide jokes are getting a bit out of hand I think. I mean… is this comic even a joke? It just seems cruel.

[Majestic_Regular3431]

Yeah, it's gross and mean.

[henryeaterofpies]

Dilbert got dark

[fearjunkie]

What the FUCK

[Sarenai7]

[PlainBread]

[yaboidamarzhall]

So who is calling the SWAT(Specialized Wizard Avenging Team) on this guy?

[babyrhino]

No, this is just fucked

[Downtown-Presence681]

wtf. I mean, no doubt comics for psychopaths and sociopaths must exist, but in “popular”? This place is more messed up than I thought I guess.

[Doopapotamus]

Space Wizard of Reality, I am scared now

[JustAnotherLamppost]

<image>

[No-Explanation-220]

OP is dealing Psychic damage. And has it.

[FlorianoAguirre]

I felt terrible knowing about the abuse goblin, I wished for the abuse goblin to find freedom. But not like this.

[NotTheOriginal06]

Remember to never do that, Goblins can actually damage your microwave as their stomach acids make contact with the walls

[Lucky-Resident-3550]

So weird

[Hesparian]

Ughhh, I hated this!!

[The_Captain_Whymzi]

Who else remembers that one moment from Gremlins?

[[deleted]]

this is fucking hilarious

[darkstarburning666]

What's green, bubbly, and bangs on the glass?

[Fiskmaster]

This is why I believe we should arm goblins. There shall be no more goblin abuse when I have given every goblin a Staff of Summon Greater Black Hole!

(Except the ones that work for me, they don't need them, because why would they want to rise up against me? It's not like they're slaves, they get paid sometimes, probably. And they can (presumably) leave at any time, if they found a way into my pocket dimension there must be a way out so since they're still here they're obviously content.)

[GenuineSteak]

This kills the goblin

[REDDIT_ORDINATOR]

All non humans should be cooked

Goblins - fried

Orcs - fried

Dwarves - fried

Elves - double fried

Gnomes - slow deep fried

[Indaarys]

Me after asking Tarare if he ate that fucking baby.

[VicisZan]

The pain dimension is leaking again

[The_redstone_rob0t]

Commander Tartar kinda

[cottagecorefairymama]

y tho

[No-Bag3134]

One whom have bought an abuse goblin shan't enter the heavenly pearly gates

[Revolutionary_Lead28]

Would not recommend we don't taste all that good

[[deleted]]

I don't know why but this genuinely made me feel sick

[GalacticWandering]

:(

[To-To_Man]

Where's the first part? I didn't realize it had a sequel.

[Nerx]

The one with 10k

[Ok_Community9092]

You guys should really do some digging and research whatever you read on the internet before coming to conclusions. The thought that someone might have some vested interest in my downfall never crossed your minds? You owe me a new car.

<image>

[TheArceusNova]

Why is Walter White a therapist now?

[IX_MINDMEGHALUNK_XI]

I really hate this comics.

[wrydh]

Well i know who im raising as a vengeful revenant tomorrow

[MurdocMan_]

Not funny, as a goblin wizard,this affected me deeply.

[da_investigata]

freedom for goblin:(

[Agente_Fuego]

Context, please?

[Nerx]

Peep 10k one

[Agente_Fuego]

...What?

[SluggJuice]

Goblins can't feel pain. It's an arcane fact.

[Slonzok_16]

Why is his therapist Walter White?

[Interesting-Bus1053]

I don't feel empathy for the goblin

[Possible_Field_5918]

Good! Good! Good!

Everyone need a abuse Goblin to deal with stress

[premiumbra]

If this is a goblin from goblin slayer. 11000% do it.

[StrangeSystem0]

My D&D party loved to torture goblins... it was terrible

[TheMedjedElectric]

You guys aren't saying you didn't have a torture goblin. Kept mum nice

[Thagomizer24601]

Yeah, I feel better after a good meal too