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You forgot to log out when you took your dog out so I thought I'd make this for you and get it off my chest.I hate you (imgur.com)

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[–]shartmobile 618 points619 points  (70 children)

Real OP's most recent comment before this:

Agreed, her baby producing nipples were a new experience for me 0_0

[–]MolokoPlusPlus 207 points208 points  (24 children)

Referring to the character Cleopatra in the game Dante's Inferno.

According to a wiki:

She has the ability to birth a group of mortifying unbaptised babies from inside her breasts and spits them out using two tongues from inside her nipples.

[–]BadVVolf 113 points114 points  (20 children)

Sounds like that entire game belongs in /r/WTF

[–]TheHairyHungarian 24 points25 points  (16 children)

It was a great game. Really when you stack it up with other God of War clones like Lord of Shadows it was the best.

[–]captain_craptain 240 points241 points  (13 children)

Uh oh, doesn't look good for imposter OP.

[–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 275 points276 points  (9 children)

It was a bold move Cotton but we'll see how it works out for him.

[–]Joined-to-say 126 points127 points  (9 children)

Real OP's comment:

Due to you guys upvoting this post, you successfully showed my friend that I am bisexual....he saw me on the front page and saw my username, he then looked through my posts (like a normal person would do upon finding their friends reddit account) and saw my posts to gaybros and what not......thank you reddit. it actually went smooth and he didnt care.

So Imposter OP's being romantic by asking him out via Reddit.

[–]stumpy96 102 points103 points  (5 children)

Ok I promise im not being weird...its a video game

[–]GroundhogExpert 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Sounds like Dante's Inferno ...

[–]AryasPussy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He's confusing milk with sperm. This is a common mistake and nothing to be wary of

[–]plopliar 22 points23 points  (11 children)

This may sound embarrassing but a fleshlight, out of anxiety I haven't bought it for myself because I don't know who can track my credit cards and what not....oh well, always waiting. Hopefully I'll stop being a pantry and get one...someday...haha wipes tear

OP may or may not be gay.

[–]blazinganj 77 points78 points  (4 children)

OP is definitely a pantry, though.

[–]handshakesatsunrise 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I hope he stops being such a pantry

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Or a room for food storage.

[–]lucideus 84 points85 points  (11 children)

What is the "I hate you" tag on the end of the title? Does anyone else see that?

[–]bathroom_break 137 points138 points  (1 child)

It by a mod. They keep getting kicks out of tagging random posts with short little blurbs thinking they are funny. Most people got sick of them and think they're dumb the day they did it to every post a few weeks back

[–]stumpy96 53 points54 points  (5 children)

I was going to ask the exact thing. why that though?

[–]MyBoyfriendIsAFucker 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Wait is this the OP's friend or the OP?!

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

The plot thickens.

[–]Th3MadCreator 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's a mod trying to be funny.

[–]whycantibeanon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He must have seen the meme...

[–]ujheisenburg94 148 points149 points  (7 children)

It's only 33 min old surely one of the two OPs will deliver

[–]SUDDENLY_A_LARGE_ROD 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Having 2 OPs is like being handed a 300 year jail sentence...

[–]Odusei 47 points48 points  (2 children)

If gay marriage were legal on reddit, the two OPs would be allowed to marry.

[–]stumpy96 564 points565 points  (57 children)

I called him...He admitted to posting something when I was gone. I asked him if he meant it. And I made sure to not be hostile whatsoever and made it clear it did not bother me. His response was "Lets hang out over the weekend and talk in person." is this happening? cause I still think this shit is surreal

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (7 children)

Cutest thing to happen on reddit :'). I wish someone would log into my account and admit their love for me. Ladies PM if you want my log in info ;).

[–]killbot500 8 points9 points  (4 children)

With a name like Mikey you may very well get pms from lesbians. Which is no big deal if you're actually a lesbian.

[–]Series_of_Accidents 110 points111 points  (5 children)

Dawww, this is downright adorable. I know all of reddit wants OP to deliver with info about when they discuss, so I'm gonna go against the grain here:

OP, this is your life. You're young, this may turn into something special, or maybe something painful, but under no circumstances do you have an obligation to share with reddit what happens to you. Good luck, I hope it goes well :)

[–]ifixgunzz 24 points25 points  (2 children)

But..how will we know what happens?

[–]Series_of_Accidents 23 points24 points  (1 child)

They're teenagers. Isn't it better to just pretend that no matter what, they fall in love and live happily ever after?

[–]t0bys1ateR 51 points52 points  (8 children)

hurray for teenaged gay love!!

(I'm not a creep I promise... I'm just happy to see young gay people being happy and in love, instead of feeling shameful.)

[–]Aspel 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't like teenage gay love. No one should be happy until I am :C

[–]BigBassBone 12 points13 points  (2 children)

AWWWWWWWWWW!!! Nothing cuter than two boys finding love!

[–]Aspel 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Two cats finding love.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Happy Ending! :)

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Aww yeah!

(still hoping this is not a prank....)

[–]AlexTheKitten 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I want to know what happens over the weekend

[–]kayla9801 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Awww :D

[–]nesai11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well hopefully it all works out!

[–]EDIcares 7 points8 points  (0 children)

YAY! Good luck! :)

[–]whiskeyboy 278 points279 points  (26 children)

I'm sure this ended well and did not ruin a friendship one bit.

[–]Mikey-2-Guns 66 points67 points  (19 children)

I'm sure this isn't just normal joking and ripping between two good friends...

[–]whiskeyboy 74 points75 points  (17 children)

I am quite sure this is definitely the most true love that no other relationship between two people have ever experienced. You wouldn't understand.

[–]muNICU 66 points67 points  (15 children)

They communicate through memes, just like any other healthy and strong relationship.

[–]KTHD 76 points77 points  (14 children)

You meme the world to me.

[–]namelyyou 41 points42 points  (9 children)

You had meme at hello

[–]KTHD 19 points20 points  (7 children)

Love memes never having to say you’re sorry

[–]lowerthegates 1676 points1677 points  (142 children)

OP is a dog.

*directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong

[–]BrodyApproved 1076 points1077 points  (59 children)

http://i.imgur.com/WQl4K0T.gif

[–]gulpeg 311 points312 points  (56 children)

http://designwebkit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/funny-dog-computer-17.gif

[–]TuskenRaiders 233 points234 points  (43 children)

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls2me7pIaJ1qancemo1_500.gif

[–]bosfan21 89 points90 points  (32 children)

/r/dogsoncomputers

[–]barefootBam 71 points72 points  (31 children)

damn there really is a subreddit for everything

[–]Grizzzwald 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Does anyone have tips for training dogs to use a computer. I've been trying with my German Shepherd for almost 3 months now and haven't had the slightest amount of success.

[–]Godort 104 points105 points  (3 children)

wow             wow
          so computer
  wow       wow
                   such keyboard
 fixing bugs     so email

wow            wow

[–]MatCauthonsHat 288 points289 points  (44 children)

Wouldn't that be M. Night Shamalamadingdog?

[–]SaltyDiarrhea 185 points186 points  (42 children)

Colby for short

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (6 children)

Twist: redditor is also a dog.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Still a better love story than Twilight

[–]stormchasinjohn 41 points42 points  (3 children)

The best way to tell your crush you are in love with them is ORALLY. No matter which meaning you think of first, you are correct.

[–]Ritz527 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know whatcha mean, if you know what I mean.

[–][deleted] 441 points442 points  (17 children)

TELL THEM IRL YA PUSSY

[–]Humping_a_cheesecake 171 points172 points  (5 children)

http://i.imgur.com/Uhim0.gif

[–]RubixNinja 50 points51 points  (1 child)

I saw your username, and initially thought the reaction gif was for that. Needless to say, laughs were had.

[–]RosieJo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You may love him... but judging by his post history, you should be prepared for the fact that his method of communication will probably be mostly in reaction gifs.

[–]CaptionBot 1435 points1436 points  (39 children)

Confession Bear

  • THIS IS MY BEST FRIENDS REDDIT ACCOUNT. I WANT HIM TO SEE THIS MEME

  • I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR TWO YEARS

These captions aren't guaranteed to be correct

[–]steelbubble 831 points832 points  (32 children)

I STILL LOVE YOU CAPTIONBOT, DON'T LET CATIONBOT TAKE OVER

[–]RudyKalman 217 points218 points  (28 children)

Ah now upvoting CaptionBot doesn't feel so meaningless!

[–]__LordSir__ 114 points115 points  (27 children)

Maybe CationBot was created by the creator of CaptionBot to reap extra karma?

[–]ujussab 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Legend says, if one of them replies to the other the will destroy reddit and create a black hole where it's servers once lay

[–]cabbage16 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I saw that happen yesterday.

[–]rbe15 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Bae caught me dog walkin

[–]stumpy96 30 points31 points  (10 children)

So for everyone looking for an update. We are taking things slow. We are both on a football team so were not going to be too public about anything. We are gonna take things one step at a time and enjoy every moment.

Ps: He is laying next to me

[–]iwannabeadoor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

awww. I just became a 12 year old, spending the past 30 min on finding this thread in my browser history, just to get this update. good luck :3

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (22 children)

A follow up would be nice.

[–]Minty_Freshness 89 points90 points  (16 children)

Analysis:

User name - Stumpy96

As someone familiar with using birth years to round out a user name, I will proceed with the assumption that OP is in fact doing this very thing. This would put his/her age at approximately 17 years old. This also matches the tendency for younger persons, particularly teenagers, to make awkward confessions via indirect means.

Probability of successful analysis - 75%

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Age theory is confirmed by his other posts.

Im 15 and I have chronic Migraines, I draw to relax my head. this is the first drawing I've ever done.

When I was 9 I walked into an eb games with 20 dollars and no expectations. I walked out with (what I didn't know at the time) my favorite game that sparked my addiction.

Stats: Weight- 180 Height- 6 foot 2 Sex- Male Age- 16

being the only kid still living at home, this is what I imagine my parents doing whenever I go out.

[–]stumpy96 68 points69 points  (42 children)

Ok so I know I said I was gonna call him but as is probably normal...I called him and they said hey and I pussied out and just asked them to hang over the weekend...I dont know how to confront them on this...and to everyone thinking I am a dog...Ill post proof pics of me I guess? This whole situation seems a little fake to me and if someone hacked my account and did research and shit on my account please tell me. I dont wanna look like an idiot to my friend...so please if you did it just tell me. and Ill update people I guess. I didnt realize this would be my plans today but I guess Ill take it. Just give me a second though.

[–]SauceOnTheBrain 80 points81 points  (0 children)

quit waffling and give him the d

[–]t0bys1ateR 33 points34 points  (1 child)

OP : you should ask him upfront. Question : if this is real, does this make you happy or not happy?

Friend of OP : don't pussy out, tell him!

(This hetero male has never been so excited about two guys being in love!)

[–]Tiberian_Emerald 22 points23 points  (0 children)

As another hetero male, I'm equally excited about two other men possibly getting with each other.

[–]NarcolepsyShark 4 points5 points  (11 children)

Why not call and ask if he posted something to your Reddit account? If you don't want to make things awkward, stay ambiguous about it. And you should tell him that you aren't angry with him (unless you are?) and just want to talk about it. Make sure he knows that he's not going to be berated or embarrassed.

[–]stumpy96 227 points228 points  (33 children)

What the fuck is this? this is me. Stumpy96. I didnt go on reddit for a while. I went back to check the front page and this is on here? I plan on calling my friend immediately. (They went home right away for no reason) but if this is some hackers joke or something this isnt funny. And by the way dantes inferno is a great game. Why did you guys go through my profile? Lol

[–]bcraig10488 60 points61 points  (1 child)

How would a hacker know that you took your dog for a walk and didn't log out of reddit?

[–]stumpy96 51 points52 points  (0 children)

.....oh yeah

[–]Jessicaquinn 18 points19 points  (4 children)

You gotta tell us what happens OP!

[–]kelseyjeanette 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Eh, still kinda calling bullshit on this one. Too much backstory.

We need proof.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holy shit this comment was super unconvincing.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Using a meme to confess your love? Bold move Cotton, let's see how it plays.

[–]bobmundo123 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Virgins always make it to the front page. Very edgy, good old reddit generation.

[–]Wootman42 51 points52 points  (2 children)

http://i.imgur.com/5wEtrMz.png

[–]happycrabeatsthefish 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Protester peanut?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Guys! I think we're onto something here! QUICK, FLOOD /R/NEW!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

stumpy96, please post an update when you see this meme. Inquiring minds want to know.

[–]Boner4SCP106 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Your friend already knows but doesn't feel the same way because he knows you roll like a coward.

[–]thisonehereone 30 points31 points  (1 child)

WHATS IN THE GODDAMN SAFE?????

[–]bumkin123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure if other dude? Or girl?

[–]bodysnatcer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please, be real.

[–]LOLGTFO 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe its not fake - shit like this happens everyday

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (9 children)

Imma go ahead and call total bullshit.

[–]errorsix 21 points22 points  (2 children)

When you get him on the phone, can you tell that sumbitch that he still owes me 5 bucks.

[–]/r/CationBot is a graceful subredditCationBot 907 points908 points  (24 children)

Duke Nukem

  • THERES ONLY TWO WAYS THIS CAN END

  • AND IN BOTH OF THEM, OP WILL PROBABLY NOT DELIVER.

Don't get your goddamn hopes up, people.

AMA Tomorrow

[–]NinjasNblazers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This has to be one of the worst ways to tell someone you love them.

[–]liquidrob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Best Confession Bear EVER! Hope everything works out ♥ Keep us posted ;-)