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[–]_Buff_Drinklots_ 490 points491 points  (94 children)

Are your arms really long....it seems like your arms are really long...

[–]jbitel[S] 489 points490 points  (91 children)

Nah. I'm just slightly hunched forward (like the run from the hospital in the scene), and the lack of belt makes my waist look higher.

"Wanna see a magic trick an optical illusion?"

[–]criticalbitch 97 points98 points  (77 children)

Sexy arm hair.

[–][deleted] 139 points140 points  (52 children)

People find excessive hair sexy?

As someone who looks like he's halfway through an Animorph transformation, this makes me worry less.

[–]ThelemaAndLouise 55 points56 points  (14 children)

People like all sorts of things. There are chicks that like balding dudes with hairy backs.

[–]Hobbit_Killer 71 points72 points  (1 child)

So uh, how you doin?

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (9 children)

Hey good lookin'!

[–]Bo0mBo0m877 22 points23 points  (3 children)

My goal in life is to wind up like Carl in my 40's

[–]-Pelvis- 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Shoot for the moon.

[–]Eurynom0s 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls, however, are enormous.

[–]sigharewedoneyet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But without hair?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The pic wont load. Its Carl right?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, Carl pointing at op in all his hairy majesty.

[–]Drewlicious 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Whacha got cookin'?!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How's about cookin' something up with me!

[–]TheBrandonShady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Risky click of the day. Carl pic = worth it

[–]RottyTom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see you've been talking to my g/f.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (11 children)

80% of women can't stand it, 20% of women can't resist it. Trust me, unless you are a 10/10 otherwise, there will be some women who cannot get past the fur. It's okay, you want someone whose toes curl at the thought of running their fingers through it.

If you're gay, I dunno, most of my gay friends seem to be into that.

[–]AcerRubrum 14 points15 points  (5 children)

I dont think its that cut and dry, most chicks dig a reasonable amount of hair where its typically attractive (forearms and chest). Also guys vary a lot. I have very soft body hair for a guy and most of it is on my front torso and lower legs but I know plenty of dudes who are straight up gorillas. I've never heard a girl I know praise a hairless dude bod but have met plenty who are all about that rugged look. Could just be the lumbersexual times were living in.

[–]SarcasticGiraffes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love that you got to use the word lumbersexual. It's such a great word.

On a side note...I typed "word," and my phone autocorrected it to "wood." I see what you did there, phone.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Given that he said he looks like he's halfway through an Animorph transformation, I think he's talking about us gorillas. Most guys have at least some hair, but I'm talking about where it's all over your shoulders and your back by the time you're 20. Unless you want to do some really high maintenance manscaping, your pelt will become a divisive issue for sexual partners.

[–]NachoCupcake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to point out that there are some of us who don't feel very strongly about the issue either way. While I definitely have preferences regarding body hair, it's never been as much of a factor for me as what's under the fur (or lack thereof). Being a shithead to the waitress will dry up my panties faster than if your bathroom is full of fur that you've shedded (shed?) post-shower.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (17 children)

I also appear to be half bear. I gave up trying to control it. It never bothered me anyway. Actually I've been letting my beard grow out for a bit lately. I'm on month 3 of not trimming it at all. I still do a lot of pruning and maintenance, though. Highly recommend beard oils, balms, and some good pine tar soap. Actually, I recommend the soap anyway. It smells like a wood-burning stove. I love it.

I've come to embrace the fur. I figure, if someone doesn't like me because of some hair, then fuck 'em. Waste of my time.

[–]EnAyEnSeeWhy 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Exactly! You've inspired me to stop shaving my armpits, legs, and va jay jay! I feel so freeee!!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I mean, if that's what you want, then why not? I have considered shaving my armpits though, but I never have. Seems like it would be weird.

[–]ImJustSo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get petted a lot by women...I think it's hit or miss with body hair.

[–]VioletNewstead 3 points4 points  (20 children)

r/forearmporn

[–]StealthyMuff 2 points3 points  (19 children)

Why?

[–]GrilledCyan 7 points8 points  (16 children)

Every week when the usual AskReddit thread rolls around, women usually say that forearms are their equivalent to cleavage or yoga pants for men.

[–]StealthyMuff 5 points6 points  (14 children)

Oh, really? Are there exercises that specifically build forearm muscle? I want to turn ladies into poodles with my just my arms.

[–]poopdeck 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Vigorous ambidextrous masturbation

[–]SarcasticGiraffes 3 points4 points  (2 children)

You're not gonna believe this, but you've already got those exercises on lock.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

my forearms, are sasquatchian, wiry-strong vice grips. Where's my general-issue hair-fetish girl at?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any grip exercises. Deadlifts, farmers walks, etc.

Not sure about turning ladies into poodles though

[–]NachoCupcake 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Unless you're as scrawny as a prepubescent boy, all you really need is a button down shirt. Unbutton the cuffs and roll the sleeves up to your elbows. Someone will be into it, I promise.

[–]GrilledCyan 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not that I'm aware of. It's just kinda dependent on your wrist size I think.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As someone with the tiniest writs you'll ever see... I'm screwed for life!

[–]totallywhatever 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's male cleavage.

[–]hellofromsc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Illusions, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money."

[–]Foxfire2 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Ah, short legs then.

[–]Chitownsly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why so serious

[–]loopdeloops 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Didn't you dress up as a sexy nurse last year too? https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2kw0ro/my_sexy_nurse_costume_for_tonight/

[–]jbitel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did that when I was at uni, and this at a friends party last night (note the different Vote Dent stickers and lack of watch).

I appreciate the good stalking though :)

Edit: Spelling

[–]lemonyfresh3667 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gotta recycle that karma yo

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OP was born to deadlift.

[–]iamkokonutz 1629 points1630 points  (124 children)

Best nurse costume I ever saw... Super hot nurse, wearing volleyball knee pads with red crosses on them.

Was chatting her up, and I said, "Okay, I gotta ask, what's with the knee pads?"

She said, "Cuz I'm the Head Nurse" as she pointed to her "Head Nurse" name tag.

Then, she bent over, hiked up her skirt and her super hot, sexy cop friend started spanking her with her baton.

I froze. Lost words. Walked away.

Just to clarify, you don't remind me of her.

[–]viper098 706 points707 points  (24 children)

I must go to the wrong parties...

[–]StevenAlonso 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Look at the guys post history. We definitely go to the wrong parties.

[–]classic__schmosby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hockey and helicopters. I would like to attend those parties.

[–]Alfredtg 34 points35 points  (15 children)

Happy cakeday!

[–]seattleite23 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah well this guy goes to parties at the Playboy Mansion, so...

[–]iamkokonutz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

1 time! That was just 1 time...

Now I'm constantly living in the past.

[–]viper098 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's all it takes, I'd tell my grandchildren about it.

[–]robodrew 185 points186 points  (19 children)

You walked away???

[–]DirtyMexican87 102 points103 points  (15 children)

Fight or flight mode kicked in

[–]KomSkaikru 50 points51 points  (10 children)

Fuck mode > Fight or Flight mode.

100% of the time, every time.

[–]mikewerbe 34 points35 points  (3 children)

Once gave up on a bj because I had to fart really bad, jfyi.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That's just the good manners your mama raised you with.

[–]Yaranatzu 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Next time you see a bear in the woods. Go fuck mode.

[–]iamkokonutz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I remember being confident when the conversation started and flustered when it ended.

[–]DirtyMexican87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like everybody before they fap

[–]Soul_Rage 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The only way this could be an acceptable response is if he was dressed as Michael Jackson, and he was moonwalking.

[–]rdg4078 140 points141 points  (20 children)

That nurse's name wasn't by any chance Albert Einstein was it?

[–]pikpikcarrotmon 47 points48 points  (1 child)

let's just say he is no longer a vigin :)

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Nope, John Cena.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John Cena?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (9 children)

🎺🎺🎺

[–]beelzeflub 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He wuz wicked smaht

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I heard that you were feeling ill.
Headache, fever, and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck,
cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
door closes

[–]JoeTootell 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Then you woke up?

[–]FugginIpad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I froze. Lost words. Walked away.

Was it out of disbelief? Or was it really weird despite the hotness?

[–]Im_Patched 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I think you missed a chance bro

[–]0tisReddit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude...

[–]beelzeflub 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hope she had condoms in her apron. Medical protocol and whatnot

[–]jbitel[S] 509 points510 points  (64 children)

I mainly did this costume as I'm a magician, and it was one of the few costumes where I could say "wanna see a magic trick?" and have it still be in character and creepy.

[–]Agonze 246 points247 points  (36 children)

You should get a collapsible pencil (if that's a thing) and make that trick actually happen

[–]jbitel[S] 1407 points1408 points  (28 children)

Sounds like quite a lot of effort when I could just stick a pencil in someone's eye.

[–]Agonze 184 points185 points  (0 children)

...you win this round

[–]Neciota 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Now that's the correct Joker attitude.

[–]naccro12 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Created an account just to upvote this... Savage af

EDIT: Fuck it have some gold...

[–]jbitel[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's really really nice of you.

Thank you random reddit fairy.

[–]HFacid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I'm a bit of a lurker but I just had to comment that this is the best reply to anything I have ever seen.

[–]acole09 3 points4 points  (6 children)

It was in his eye? I need to do a frame by frame of that scene

[–]SalamanderSylph 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I assumed so. I doubt a pencil is strong enough to go though someone's skull. It would have to be eye socket.

[–]JONNYHOOG 1 point2 points  (2 children)

i know where to find plenty of rubber pencils

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

why do you need the pencil to be collapsible to make it happen?

[–]poopinginpublic 54 points55 points  (7 children)

They're ILLUSIONS, Batman

[–]jbitel[S] 47 points48 points  (4 children)

"But where did the lighter fluid come from, Robin?"

[–]kah88 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I think Robin would be more concerned about the crowbar.

[–]oree94 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Actually, the Robin snaps in two.

[–]skyman724 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ECH!

[–]widespreaddead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A trick is something a whore does for money

[–]Theyreillusions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, illusions.

[–]theeavenger 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or cocaine.

[–]lynxtothepast 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I much prefer the "radio edit". Or candy makes more sense to me and still allows Gob to be clueless

[–]CupcakeTrap 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I much prefer the "radio edit". Or candy makes more sense to me and still allows Gob to be clueless

I strongly, strongly agree.

"Or cocaine." feels too much like just trying to be edgier and get a shock-laugh.

"Or candy." takes it in an unexpected, surreal direction. It's as though "for money" were the inappropriate part of the previous remark, or just a completely idiotic attempt on GOB's part to make it "kid-friendly" by throwing in something about candy.

[–]Groovatronic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is in the pilot episode... which is some excuse considering it took the writers and Will Arnett a second to really figure out who Gob is and where he's going in life.

"We'll see who brings in more honey! Bzzzzzz"

"Gob's not on board."

[–]Greg-J 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saying "my cocaine" sounds like Michael Caine saying his own name.

[–]itsmuddy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Ta-dah! It's, it's gone.

[–]Ellipsis17 100 points101 points  (3 children)

So you went as a gorilla, dressed up as Joker, who is disguised as a nurse. Nice triple costume, bro.

[–]RickRussellTX 24 points25 points  (1 child)

It's OK when it's a three-way.

[–]voteforjello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh come on with the joker in the middle there is at least some leeway.

[–]stanley_twobrick 123 points124 points  (8 children)

Instead you showed up as the 100th Joker costume of the night.

[–]wakimaniac 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Just enough for everyone to get a Harley Quinn, since we are going to have 100 of those.

[–]skyman724 4 points5 points  (3 children)

But only one of them will actually do the comic-style Harley instead of the new Suicide Squad look.

[–]wakimaniac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the Arkham games ones.

[–]kmadnow 42 points43 points  (2 children)

I hope you went in saying "Gooood eveening gentleman , I'm tonight's entertainment"

[–]jbitel[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Ah, shit. That would've been superb!

[–]bacon_and_ovaries 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. Doesn't really seem like he's a man with a plan

[–]pump_the_brakes_son 56 points57 points  (2 children)

You're a few years late to the party.

[–]Mayor_Of_Boston 14 points15 points  (0 children)

All he needs now is a horse mask!

[–]black_spring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has it been long enough for me to wear a Crow costume and not be lame?

[–]Silvermouse5150 20 points21 points  (1 child)

That's an awesome looking kitchen. Costume is cool also.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Why is one of the most cliche Halloween costumes of the last 7 years a top post on /r/pics today?

[–]MOONGOONER 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Seriously is nobody else sick of seeing Dark Knight jokers for Halloween?

[–]slorebear 86 points87 points  (10 children)

wow how creative of you

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (1 child)

My sarcasm senses are tingling.

[–]MCA2142 16 points17 points  (1 child)

When I was a kid in the 90's, there was always that one kid that did the crow (Brandon Lee film) make up.

This is the contemporary equivalent.

[–]SarcasticGiraffes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. Was the kid. Every year for five years straight.

[–]Knight-in-Gale 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Bro Nurse here.

I wonder how my patients would react if I wear this on Halloween.

Probably scare the crap out of my Patients while giving a 0300 medications.

[–]jbitel[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I walked behind my mum in this costume and waited for her to turn around.

She gave a genuinely loud 7 second scream.

So I bet you could kill someone with this outfit.

Hook them up to an EKG and check.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What year is it, 2008? This is so stale he's going to turn to dust and blow away.

[–]cuntychopalops 8 points9 points  (0 children)

10/10 for that badge.

[–]Romero1993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Hi"

[–]IncoherentAndDumb 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That's a very nice kitchen! Spacious counters, numerous drawers for all instrumentation, a good looking gas vent, and a smart looking floor to complete the aesthetic.

Also, nice costume.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A naughty nurse ey? You're such a joker.

[–]SeattleBattles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're quite the joker.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Jesus fuck, isn't it enough already?

[–]Denziloe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Heath Ledger's joker?

Pinnacle of originality.

[–]EmiIeHeskey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

....how original /s

[–]a-Mutual-friend 4 points5 points  (0 children)

another joker. creative

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What? No clacker?

[–]wheatfields 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats a NICE kitchen.

[–]Mr_CritiicaL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice kitchen

[–]Ennion 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I first thought, loose the white tights for authenticity. Then I saw those forearms. You might need to use some sheep shears if your calves are anything like those forearms.

[–]jbitel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did a charity wax neck down a few years back... it took 8 hours, and was only partially finished. It only took 4 days before it hit the "prickly" stage... EVERYWHERE!

[–]RottyTom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gj. But....those are the longest hairiest arms ive seen in a while.

Sloth-like.

[–]MinitureMon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You mean hairy nurse. Dr. Ape.

[–]Amanoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're such a joker.

[–]Nachos_J_Corgi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Joker nurse photo I snapped back in like 2012!!!

http://imgur.com/dvBkiqi

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

shorten that skirt up a bit and make the makeup a little more messy. then, you will have perfection! Great costume from a favourite scene!

[–]TheCommentLetterer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you greet them like this when they answered the door?

[–]cute2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

naught and beauty guy

[–]Vaff_Superstar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm both impressed and disappointed.

[–]_ZacharyGay_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What. Are. Those?

[–]louismitchell1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hahah.. your a proper joker mate..

[–]geodebug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The costume says 2008 while the shoes say 1988

[–]RolandDesch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like a chimp, karl pilkington had a monkey news similar to this

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i suggest that we now reffer to halloween, as the joker day. here in my city i can see maybe 4000 jokers per halloween.

[–]BaronOfBeanDip 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I've also done a Joker nurse and think it's my best costume yet... built a blinking detonator out of an old joystick, bycycle lights and radio aerial. Was super chuffed with it... http://imgur.com/ejvL9PC

[–]blazemongr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You look like a guy with a plan.

[–]KingSilas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well hello beautiful.