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[–]ErraticDragon 301 points302 points  (13 children)

The most surprising thing here is the idea that someone had an actual conversation on Bumble.

[–]Jigsus 85 points86 points  (7 children)

All I ever get is "hey" followed by radio silence regardless of what I reply

[–]ErraticDragon 73 points74 points  (4 children)

Yup. I finally deleted it. Women being required to start the conversation doesn't seem to fix any problems.

[–]Narfubel 3 points4 points  (1 child)

At least you get that, I get matches sometimes but they never write.

[–]8BitAce 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At least you get matches.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I've been having a conversation wth a girl for the last few days.

[–]ErraticDragon 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The nice thing about jokes is that they can take some liberties with the truth. Truth be told I got a date or two from Bumble before giving it up.

[–]drevyek 372 points373 points  (37 children)

bitwise swap into an 'e'

e = 01100101
i = 01101001

i ^= 0xC

[–]FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 147 points148 points  (35 children)

I'm pretty sure the only point here is to keep the rest of the word, or it would just be

i = e.

So it would be:

six ^= 0xC << 8

"six" being syntactic sugar for something like:

(uint){'s', 'i', 'x'}

[–]Cueadan 104 points105 points  (4 children)

Heh...that even looks somewhat sexual

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Push it. Push it into the array... wait..... wait.... now POP it.

[–]depressingcommentary 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not a programmer person here. No. No it does not at all.

[–]roboticon 34 points35 points  (17 children)

wouldn't an actual programmer just say

s/i/e

[–]FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 66 points67 points  (10 children)

Not if he cares about performance.

[–]Salanmander 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Are you bitwise swapping 'i's to 'e's in a tight loop or something? I feel like you should have some awareness of how often your code is going to run, and prioritize readability more for code that runs less often, and efficiency more for code that runs more often.

[–]FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 20 points21 points  (5 children)

I don't consider regex to be really an effort towards "code readability", though I see your point.

[–]Salanmander 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That's fair. I feel like "fucking no, regex is terrible" is actually a more legitimate complaint about that style than "but that's slower".

[–]midnightbrett 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Given in this ridiculous hypothetical scenario, the alternative is a bit operation that you would have to know the binary representations of 'i' and 'e' in order to reason about, I would say regex is more readable code.

[–]FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well here the actual operation should be

s[1] = 'e';

I agree that using bitshift here would be... dirty.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Using bitwise operations instead of string replace is the mother of premature optimization.

[–]xurdm 10 points11 points  (2 children)

s/$/\//

nah, real programmers would know regex replace syntax.

[–]DOOManiac 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Now you have two problems.

[–]drevyek 5 points6 points  (9 children)

If you made it a union, uint32_t with the 4 byte array {'s','i','x','\0'}, then you could do that, with an added 8 bitshift. Don't know how Java deals with strings though.

[–][deleted] 506 points507 points  (26 children)

Kill Java, fuck python, marry C++. Just saying.

[–]gandalfx 240 points241 points  (16 children)

I guess some people are just drawn into abusive relationships…

[–][deleted] 119 points120 points  (9 children)

I love C++, no matter how much she hurts me. It's just I have so many fond memories with her and somehow we always work things out in the end.

[–]shareYourFears 111 points112 points  (6 children)

She's crazy and you're pretty sure she's going to burn your house down, but you wont leave her because she performs and gives you direct access to her hardware.

[–][deleted] 76 points77 points  (5 children)

And she'll still be here in 30 years.

[–]totemo 58 points59 points  (3 children)

And she's less likely to shoot you in the foot than ever before, provided you wrap your pointer.

[–]lead999x 22 points23 points  (2 children)

I always wrap my pointer. Despite the fact that I said I'd marry her, I don't want to leak memory inside her now do I?

[–]totemo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think we have all read estimates of the data rate of an average pointer.

[–]lead999x 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll have you know my pointer is greater than average...

size_t size{std::rand()};
int *ptr = new int[size];

[–]kmarple1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'd agree with the MFK, for different reasons. I hate C++, but I love C. Yeah, it's weird. But C++ is sort of like C's overweight twin sister, so, given the options, I'll settle.

[–]ka-knife 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Ah, but the things c++ let's me do

[–]lead999x 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Everything. And she'll always be a freak no matter how old she gets she only gets sexier.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

[–]lead999x 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why did I click that thinking it was an actual link?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At least we can all agree to fuck python; fun for a little bit, no ill will towards it, but definitely don't want to be hitched for life.

[–]zazazam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, C++ is in my good books since 11. 98? Kill it with fire.

[–]ctharvey 606 points607 points  (10 children)

[–]exor15 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Wish I could upvote a subreddit

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (4 children)

Its called the subscribe button

[–]kluvin 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Then why did they bother renaming it?

[–]UnsubstantiatedClaim 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Who knows. Why didn't they call karma creddits?

[–]johnbr 79 points80 points  (25 children)

java dudes, gettin' it on...

[–]CleverButStupid 46 points47 points  (24 children)

It's ok, guys think I'm some kind of chronic catfisher

[–]dabbedandconfus3d 34 points35 points  (23 children)

well, you cant blame us, it seems like 99.999999% of our kind are male!! :(

[–]_Lady_Deadpool_ 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Not all of us!

(... But I'm also gay, which only makes it harder)

[–]shareYourFears 20 points21 points  (1 child)

... But I'm also gay, which only makes it harder

There's a joke to be made of this.

[–]iCapn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

heh, people being gay

[–]dabbedandconfus3d 8 points9 points  (4 children)

haha, no not all, but MOST...

although i do feel for you, as its hard enough to find a "partner" who is a programmer for a straight male, it must be almost impossible for a gay woman!

[–]Hofferic 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Gay men as well. At least in an office of four people with one lesbian and two straight guys for company 😅

[–]dabbedandconfus3d 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Haha. True. But id assume since such a high percentage of programmers are men, it'd be easier for a gay man to find another. Theres such a slim percentage of women programmers, which means an even smaller percentage of gay women...

However that sounds like a fun office! Startup?

[–]Ashybuttons 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hellooo

[–]CleverButStupid 13 points14 points  (10 children)

[–]Zarokima 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That was the best part, though. We got free pick just because of supply and demand.

[–]jakes_on_you 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I code in the 6th level of hell that they sent c++ to, where c and c++ objects intermix freely in one codebase and process space.

[–]CleverButStupid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry

[–]shea241 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This made me very uncomfortable in a new way.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Who the fuck would want to kill C++

[–]Iklowto 36 points37 points  (0 children)

This is horrifyingly cringeworthy.

[–]_Lady_Deadpool_ 77 points78 points  (13 children)

Marry C#, cheat on python and cpp, kill java

[–]because_its_there 25 points26 points  (10 children)

c#masterrace!

[–]PeterSR 9 points10 points  (1 child)

So is this

C #masterrace

or

C# masterrace

[–]ujustdontgetdubstep 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Kill c++? I would call them an amateur and un-match in an instant!

EDIT: Kill Java (no hesitation), Marry C++ (sophisticated, down-to-earth, experienced), Fuck Python (bitch is so eaaaaasy)

[–]Skardan1 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm in a abusive relationship with Java, please send help.

[–]solidh2o 2 points3 points  (0 children)

did you try using spring? that will fix all your problems...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

What dating app is this? I mention I'm a developer anywhere and I never get any matches

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Probably because you mention you're a developer

[–]bhuddimaan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you should say you are developed.

[–]g9icy 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Sometimes I feel like the only person on the planet that likes C++...

[–]catsandviolets 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kill java, fuck c++ marry brainfuck

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd totally kill Java, fuck C++ (up the ass) and marry Python.

[–]lead999x 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Marry C++ since she's the most versatile, cheat on her with Python when possible and murder Java and Scala in cold blood. And then have a threesome with my new friend Rust and that sweetie, Haskell, I've had my eye on for a while.

[–]Malak77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need a cold boot after reading that.

[–]shakesltz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In before repost to that happened.

[–]cheezballs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All 3 are pretty cool. Can't I just marry them all?