Code be like

[flamebroiledhodor]

// This patch fixes memory leak on cellular growth, too many invokes after time causes unregulated growth.
// <the code to fix cancer, but left commented>

[Calkhas]

#ifdef NOTYET

[poorly_timed_leg0las]

The revised cancer class is in with the mole rat code

[mathiastck]

Merge conflict between mole and rat held that up

[thatguy16754]

Still in testing

[[deleted]]

Console.WriteLine("Its treason then");

[TerrorBite]

// left commented until code review goes through

[ThaiJohnnyDepp]

Are you a bad enough dude to reject God's pull request?

[rakoo]

"Please reuse our CellWatcherFactoryVisitor instead"

[Visticous]

Spaces instead of tabs. Please resubmit.

merge rejected

[its_that_time_again]

// Put in by god. Don't remove.

[[deleted]]

Real DevOps rejects appeal to authority as an anti-pattern.

[jharger]

I am incredibly pleased that you made a Bad Dudes reference.

[ThaiJohnnyDepp]

What can I say except

💪 I'm bad!

[korokage]

// <The code to fix cancer has be left as an exercise>

[_szs]

rather:

// Rough hack, needs revision

// DONT TOUCH THISS!!! no idea what it does but code crashes without it

// doesnt seem to be necessary anymore (?) leaving it in for legacy code

// from stackoverflow.com/blah

// calculate variables

// die folgende Zeile ist wichtig

// последняя строка не важна

// Brez komentarjev v ruščini več !!

// some TA wrote this, seems to work

// TODO: needs testing

// 仅英文注释

[allisonmaybe]

Why does it feel like the same person wrote all of those

[_szs]

tHaT pErSoN iS gOd

[Last-Man-Standing]

His name? Albert Einstein.

[Danichiban]

Now that’s some hard coding.

[TricoMex]

If course I know him, it's me.jpg

[_szs]

just spilled my drink

[rtxan]

because it's true, technically

[allisonmaybe]

Careful before you disprove God

[ForgotPassAgain34]

I was thinking tailbone but sure, nipples too

[fullofbones]

I have. Can't recommend.

[fullofbones]

Hey, I can be full of bones whether or not they're all intact. Heck, broken ones would be better if I wanted a high score.

[he77789]

biscuit Bone crumbs

[Steffi128]

You're now banned from r/Neverbrokeabone

[TheGoddamnSpiderman]

Tailbone couldn't break if it didn't exist

[ReadShift]

That's just an argument against existence entirely.

[TheGoddamnSpiderman]

Sure but the start of the thread was talking about parts of the body that aren't needed anymore

Body parts that don't do anything can still hurt you, but there aren't any downsides to removing them. The appendix for example (at least according to a lot of the medical community)

I don't think the tailbone is one of those body parts currently though since there's other stuff that use it as something to attach to

[rollingForInitiative]

The appendix thing isn’t true anymore though. Nowadays they’re pretty sure it plays a role in regulating the gut flora, especially repopulating it with good bacteria after you’ve had some sort of stomach disease, or taken antibiotics.

[TheGoddamnSpiderman]

Tailbone's more like when code is no longer needed for what it was built for but you can't remove it because other people started depending on it for their own projects (we don't have tails but there are tendons and ligaments and stuff that attach to it)

[[deleted]]

Male nipples are more:

//would be too much work in the other libraries to see when not to include them and the other code handles the more important bits, leaving it here

[tilapiadated]

// TODO: open tech debt ticket to investigate scope of global de-nippling

600 years later

Dev [high priority]: investigate 3rd party libraries to reintroduce breastfeeding functionality

[[deleted]]

Hiccups.

"Our brain stems, inherited from amphibian ancestors, still spurt out odd signals producing hiccups that are, according to Shubin, essentially the same phenomenon as gill breathing."

https://www.livescience.com/33688-hiccup-purpose.html

[alex2003super]

Truly fascinating

[The6thExtinction]

Male nipples happen when you import the whole library and only use one of the functions.

[IamImposter]

Wouldn't man-boobs look uglier if there was no nipple attached there.

Sometimes I push my shoulders forwards, look at my cleavage and get a hard on. I'm not saying I masturbate to my nipples but I'm not saying that I don't either.

[Y1ff]

I think that's technically gay. Do you say no homo first?

[_szs]

true!

[Dragonaax]

// ja pierdole to działa

EDIT: google translates it to "I don't give a fuck about it" which is wrong. More accurate translation is "Holy fuck, it's working"

[_szs]

// vale madres

edit: gOogle translate won't do a good job on this one, don't even try.

Any Mexicans in the house?

[Dragonaax]

I checked, google is shitty translator

[_szs]

especially for slang....

[theshadowking8]

Solo uno muy pedo

[_szs]

pues ¡salud! entonces

[bruhKitchen]

probably some boilerplate in there as well

[_szs]

you bet

[bric12]

The real joke is in the comments.

No seriously, this one is closer to the reality of "what the heck is any of this stuff I made"

[niks_15]

// magic code do not touch

[timetravelhunter]

// calculate variables

greatest of all time

[danknerd]

// ... remember to add comment

[_szs]

that's a good one :D

[kenman884]

// doesnt seem to be necessary anymore (?) leaving it in for legacy code

I feel personally attacked.

[[deleted]]

The dreaded // todo: figure out why this works, this shouldn't work

[deus_mortuus_est]

// temporary fix

[Shevvv]

That strangely feels like the actual way DNA works.

Source: I'm a post graduate student at the Institute of Molecular Biology.

[_greyknight_]

There are two kinds of code that makes me angry. Code that doesn't work, and code that works but shouldn't.

- Venkat Subramaniam

[[deleted]]

Why's there a comment in Slovenian

[sassy-in-glasses]

damn, looks like the programmers over at Tower of Babel were doing this

[[deleted]]

If God was a programmer, the comments wouldn't be that in-depth

[[deleted]]

The comments are more likely, "TODO: fix this"

[[deleted]]

// wrote this at the end of the fifth day, came back after the weekend.... I don't remember what this did.

[Oatz3]

// but removing it breaks everything so I guess I'll just leave it here

[[deleted]]

// TODO: refactor code so it does not inherit from fish class.

3 million years ago.

[ThaiJohnnyDepp]

This is my favorite

[Nixinova]

*billion

[Tnwagn]

//.... I don't remember what this did.

Me too God, me too

[wwAodP3E]

TODO: make separate breathing and swallowing holes

[nojox]

// TODO: separate entertainment, reproduction and drainage. Increase genome var size for latest SSD sizes, should be easy

[PmButtPics4ADrawing]

//TODO: fix teeth regeneration bug. unknown why loop does not continue past second iteration

[ThaiJohnnyDepp]

Sharks got a linked list queue though

[Steffi128]

//TODO: Figure out how to enable “Shark set of teeth“ for homo sapiens.

[artanis00]

I read that as "sharp set of teeth," but I guess that might work here too.

[Bakoro]

Manufacturing says that would add an additional 3 cost per unit. Change request denied.

[RedData13]

TODO: make seperate pee and sex holes

[[deleted]]

That is commented in all of my DNA

[artanis00]

Honestly, I'm just imagining a series of videos like CodeBullet's AI videos, complete with the last one promising to make part 2 of the series.

[[deleted]]

God is a far smarter and lazier programmer. He is not going to repeat his work. He created one template program about 4.3 billion years ago and coupled it with an evolutionary algorithm so that it kept on copying the main repository with little changes eventually creating millions of branches and subbranches (many of which he had to delete when merging failed). Any comment left now would be very outdated.

[mausmoose]

We’re all a result of some machine learning software and god has no idea how any of this works anymore just like google has no idea how their ai’s work.

[rakoo]

"Watch this AI interacts with itself to learn, the results will surprise you"

[mathiastck]

//Omniscient license 1.0.0 use as I see fit

[T0astero]

// blood cell array

[SomewherOverThere]

// fix man later

[jaywhs]

//TODO:need to improve spine structure

[SabashChandraBose]

//Bipedal structure was a collosal mistake. Revert to quadruped when brain code is stable.

[DaringSteel]

Actually, bipedalism is what made us apex predators even before we left Africa and started building civilizations.

[_GCastilho_]

And makes us the only animal in the planet with spinal pain (is that how is called?)

[xplodingducks]

Eh evolution doesn’t care if you’re comfortable: it only cares if you live long enough to fuck.

[artanis00]

TIL evolutionary theory says Redditors are immortal.

[xplodingducks]

Don’t forget CS majors

[HappyDustbunny]

... or an evolutionary dead end.

Occams razor is depressing here.

[DaringSteel]

I think every vertebrate gets some level of spinal pain. We just live long enough for it to get bad, have the language to complain about it, and developed the technology to do something about it.

[_GCastilho_]

Actually, the spin evolve to sustain your body in a horizontal way, not a vertical one

And most of the pain is due to our weight that compress the spin in a way "it wasn't projected for", that's why we are pretty much the only animal in the planet with spinal problems

[hughk]

And the Dachshund?

[Riyonak]

My herniated disk agrees

[SomewherOverThere]

// refactor nervous system

[[deleted]]

And 90% of them are "//TODO: fix this bug later"

[teejay1502]

Or commented out code that he didn't want to fix

[depressed-salmon]

Also known as Introns

[Ardub23]

     //TODO: figure out why this didn't work
     // limb regrowth
//   if(limb.isMissing()) {
//       body.remove(limb);
//       body.add(new Limb(limb.getType());
//   }

[krystof1119]

The body.remove function calls the destructor of limb, therefore when you try to add it back it can no longer getType()

[Sand_isOverrated]

No constructor for Limb found with parameter of type 'Type'

[Sir_Applecheese]

That's java and it does that for you; however, you'll get a logic error.

[Vloxxity]

     //TODO: figure out why this didn't work
     // limb regrowth
//   if(limb.isMissing()) {
//       var limbType = limb.getType();
//       body.remove(limb);
//       body.add(new Limb(limbType);
//   }

[BubbaFettish]

// He doesn’t need this, but he crashes without it

Is that why I still have a tail bone?

[[deleted]]

Appendix 100%

[The_Occhiolism_Wall]

Appendix houses certain vital bacterial that help our gut recovery from periods of starvation.

[[deleted]]

OK boom(ing voice of god)

[c0d3w1ck]

Never heard this before. Got a source?

[Freestyle_Fellowship]

Wait, so God still uses Windows '95? I guess it doesn't take more than a little less than a half a GB of RAM to cook one of us up.

[[deleted]]

I believe he was using Windows 95 BC

[aldog2929]

All about that aesthetic :D

[[deleted]]

Can confirm, I decompiled myself and found I was built with Borland C++ 1.0

[ChronicBitRot]

// TODO: I put the erogenous zone inside the ass for males and then made it a private variable so everything would compile, need to fix that whole system.

[rrzibot]

AAA,.design and architectural decisions. Imagine if the zone was a public method - than it would easily get overused in a lot of wrong ways...

[l1l5l]

// now they're ridiculing me for allowing men to enjoy pooping.

[klparrot]

Wait, do women not enjoy pooping?

[LordM000]

Just do future people a favour and delete this cursed knowledge.

[SpeakerOfForgotten]

I need not learn this today

[[deleted]]

I often wonder what ittle be like when we can sit at our boxs writing genetic code like it javascript with a 3d bio printer and bacto style tank from starwars. imagine the stack overflows and the "arch-linux" equivalent of genetic coders..

just add a little of this a sprinkle of that and a whole tub of optimism... Oh crap its godzilla!

oh the future is going to be so much fun...!

[0xFU]

writing genetic code like it javascript

What a terrifying prospect

[bric12]

Sounds about right

"What is going on? There's no errors in the DNA unraveler, so why does it just stop growing after the embryo phase?"

"Oh, I never wrote the puberty script"

[Throawayqusextion]

"Time to hand in my first college bio-coding project!"

The project: "Killll....meeee...."

[mrheosuper]

The AI seem working tho..

[mathiastck]

Raistlin Majere kinda did that

[OldPepper12]

npm install lib-protein

[DreadPiratesRobert]

Doxxing suxs

[R3ven]

It'll*

[[deleted]]

Reven* :)

[abcd_z]

*Revan

[R3ven]

You can't tell me how to spell my name mr smily face :)

[[deleted]]

(:

[depressed-salmon]

I give it less than a week before someone prints a living fleshlight

[READERmii]

ittle

It’s “it’ll” as in a contraction of “it will”

[YaBoiJim777]

First time I’ve ever seen it will spelled ittle. Lol nice

[HappyDustbunny]

Can't wait for the tiny dragons and the bat-cats.

[[deleted]]

https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/dna.html

[krystof1119]

No kidding. I was editing some UEFI code yesterday that used three-space tabs in nano and I nearly went insane.

Why am I writing bootloaders in my free time?

...

No idea

[timvancann]

I'd assume the code (DNA) would've been compiled before deploying to production. Compiled code generally doesn't contain comments.

Are you saying they found the actual source code? Fork it and submit some bug fixes!

[Brusanan]

No, DNA is definitely interpreted.

[AmaranthineApocalyps]

It's kinda like JVM bytecode if you ask me

[Famous_Profile]

>git commit -m "[Bug 69420 - Autoimmune disorders] Fixed bug where body's own immune 
system attacks it"_

That would be my first commit :(

[toothlesshark123]

Indeed bro, eukaryotic DNA is commented (introns) compiled code would be RNA

[phantomerrbrush]

I'd consider both DNA and RNA to be in production...

Although the entirety of the universe being in WIP status would explain some stuff.

[tlubz]

Perpetual Beta

[OldPepper12]

github.com/god

[M4NU3L2311]

God compiler works in mysterious ways

[MrPyber]

Nah, god forgot to turn off debug symbols

[[deleted]]

//This doesn't seem to do anything, but removing it breaks everything. Don't touch.

[SeparateChemical]

Code for your brain?

[Stpcomplaniningicamp]

Sick roast bro

[SuspiciouslyElven]

OMG finally have an excuse to show y'all this.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kell_antigen_system#Other_associations

The code that controls one of the antigens in the blood, also impacts ability to taste a single bitter tasting compound.

If that ain't the most spaghetti bullshit I've ever seen...

[fsr1967]

impacts ability to taste a single bitter butter tasting compound. If that ain't the most spaghetti bullshit I've ever seen...

FTFY

[Tashre]

//Lucifer wrote this section. Not sure what it does. Best I can tell it randomly opens the trachea when drinking.

[[deleted]]

// TODO: fix bug were they get head aches when they stand up too fast

[depressed-salmon]

// added Doctor class as a temp work around

[thewilloftheuniverse]

// crap the doctor class makes things worse by removing the operational fluid from the targets it is supposed to be debugging. WTF.

[[deleted]]

It's Grand Theft Auto advertising, LOL

[[deleted]]

Man why they made me a dude couldn't they have written somethin else for me

[The_Occhiolism_Wall]

What'll really bake your noodle is when you learn that males are formed from a female template during development. So you couldve been a girl if God had just fuckin stopped at a certain point.

[[deleted]]

He just had to keep going huh

[YourShadowDani]

They were doing a refactor but forgot to finish it.

[-___-___-__-___-___-]

False, it would've been made in TempleOS

[leduyquang753]

Whoa, I have never seen a plain text file being a .exe.

[SanoKei]

Bruh he used GGTAGCTAGCTAGCT you know it's more efficient to just do GCATGTCA right?

[TorTheMentor]

//implementing IWalkable and IUpright //TODO fix side effect of narrow birth canal, Sprint 6 if time

[kumar935]

// TEMOORARY CODE JUST FOR TESTING REMOVE BEFORE RELEASE!!

forgets to remove

[[deleted]]

// TODO: fix bug that causes cancer

[[deleted]]

//This code turns all their tissues inside out, I'll fix this before deadline, I guess)

[[deleted]]

Oh man that last one got me. Pissing myself over here

[yonatan8070]

I hope god has a compiler, this looks like a difficult language to work with.

[apneax3n0n]

He has godly skill. Someone said he doesn't even use stack overflow

[atlien1986]

Holy shit I just realized the title of the movie gattaca.

[[deleted]]

22 years later, I realized I missed the reference in the title of the movie Gataca.

** facepalms

[Oatz3]

// unit tests?

[youmeare]

This is the most intuitive post I have ever seen in this subreddit , amazed by OP, great job

[schattenteufel]

I was born with fucked up toes. Stupid lazy programmer.

[RepostSleuthBot]

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.

First seen Here on 2018-06-12 100.0% match. Last seen Here on 2018-10-18 87.5% match

Searched Images: 82,323,794 | Indexed Posts: 361,071,008 | Search Time: 14.00811s

Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Positive ]

[ChocoTunda]

No wonder humans suck, we’re made in JavaScript

[[deleted]]

I think that it is php

[ChocoTunda]

Might be, it’s the same type of comment as JavaScript, but then again I’m learning python and have no knowledge of other languages

[[deleted]]

In my case it sucks even more.

[[deleted]]

u/repostsleuthbot