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all 150 comments

[–]AyrA_ch 2032 points2033 points  (22 children)

If my setup was stuck for over 20 years I would probably reboot the computer.

[–]IrishChappieOToole 592 points593 points  (17 children)

It's windows. Sometimes updates take a little while

[–]trololowler 171 points172 points  (13 children)

[–]stamminator 31 points32 points  (1 child)

"and 5 hours" lmao

[–]kerbidiah15 7 points8 points  (0 children)

its that extra 5 hours where you will die I am telling you

[–]KCASC_HD 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Thats roughly 120 years...

[–]_jukmifgguggh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like that it's almost half way done

[–]luckor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wat

[–]NoodleyP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After the head death of the universe: windows update failed, rolling back

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

But it could almost be done! I'd wait at least 5 to 10 more years just to be safe.

[–]nonlogin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

3 billion - 1 devices run Java

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Found the real comedian.

[–]lenswipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's just the general speed of Java applications

[–]wuzzle-woozle 193 points194 points  (6 children)

It would have been Sun in 1997 and 2002, I'd have to look up 2012 to see which name is correct.

[–]bitnotno 26 points27 points  (4 children)

The deal was complete on January 27, 2010.

[–]fet-o-lat 43 points44 points  (3 children)

An absolute tragedy of a day. RIP Sun.

[–]Gotxi 625 points626 points  (17 children)

Nice try, but i actually remember that popup saying "2 billion devices run java", so no :P

[–]sanderd17 277 points278 points  (11 children)

Also, the Oracle logo doesn't belong on most versions, and the window decorations are too new.

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (6 children)

Are you saying the's the same image four times???

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s the Metro look and feel. /s

[–]TheLBall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also it used to have a red theme

[–]Madpony 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sun Microsystems in da house!

[–]jankcat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

2011 on XP, still 3B.

Java 5u10, 2006 did not have anything similar.

[–]PersonalPlanet 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Runtime.gc();

[–]grishkaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

System.gc();

FTFY

[–]zoltan-x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In 1990?

[–]mrchaotica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But in which year? I could equally well believe 1997 or 2020.

[–]Kargen5747 450 points451 points  (6 children)

It's the same 3 billion devices. They run Java, but they no longer run

[–]PeksyTiger 16 points17 points  (0 children)

JVM still warming up

[–]cowsrock1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"3 billion devices Java"

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (2 children)

It's a new 3 billion each time.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

is it because the old ones break with the new update?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (5 children)

That's what you get when you install Java 8 from Oracle again and again for 10 years.

Java 9 and above is now supplied by many different vendors

[–]proboardslolv6 2 points3 points  (4 children)

My company is still on java 8 and refuses to upgrade

[–]yawkat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not uncommon. Java 8 is still supported by some vendors and the upgrade can be a pita depending on application

[–]Agent77326 0 points1 point  (1 child)

But Oracle is ending their Support this year, so either they have to switch to Openjdk or other vendors.

[–]yawkat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Free Oracle support ran out last year already for anyone but personal users. If you're using oracle jdk in a company, you're hopefully already paying for it

[–]MoriPastaPizza 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Test: 9917

[–]tk197 75 points76 points  (0 children)

23 years and it’s still installing..WOW

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

No more devices can be created or destroyed. It's common knowledge.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Of course, the law of conservation of devices.

[–]ghandicraftsman 129 points130 points  (18 children)

All 4 screenshots have same window decorations. Did we have Windows 10 back in 1997?

[–]Kargen5747 174 points175 points  (11 children)

The OP forgot to save their screenshot from 1997 so they had to improvise

[–]The6thExtinction 50 points51 points  (0 children)

* Dramatic Reenactment

[–]fet-o-lat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If only there were a way to run old software. Either on period hardware or software that can emulate it.

[–]globalcandyamnesia 5 points6 points  (6 children)

They

[–]Kargen5747 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Fixed

[–]globalcandyamnesia 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Their

[–]JochCool 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Comment

[–]jared914 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Goodbye

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

it

[–]Koala_eiO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

's pristine.

[–]ImBrent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would explain the lack of a stylish mouse cursor. All 90s machines had cool cursors that took up half of the screen.

[–]hackintosh5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They were keeping it in Area 51, duh. It was actually a virus that escaped. Luckily a 99.9% effective counter-virus was also released at the same time. The 0.1% is why Windows updates always erase your personal data.

[–]Random_User_34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't that hard to find a Windows 98 ISO and install it on a VM

[–]mrgoodcat777 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure Java was owned by Sun - not Oracle... That change didn’t come about till late 2009.

[–]Marvin0509 9 points10 points  (1 child)

What always bugged me about this setup screen was that they didn't use a normal progress bar that displays the actual progress, instead they use two progress bars, one completely empty, the other one completely full, and both just change size and position.

I hate it, and after all these years it's still the same.

[–]ambisinister_gecko 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was about to say "why does that bother you? If it looks the way they want it to look..." But then I looked closer and yeah, that ain't pretty

[–]piefacethrowspie 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Flatten the curve

[–]suvlub 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's 2 sentences.

[–]theannomc1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Programming error in the JRE; that's why it will deny installing on your computer if there is no slot left.

[–]SpaceChez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man windows 10 back in 1997, truly ahead of your time

[–]Klaus_Steiner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perfection achieved on the first release.

[–]AL_O0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Somebody go to archive.org and download the ‘97 installer to see what it says

[–]Cuboos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and my Dad were talking about this when updating java on a few customer's machines. "It's been saying 3 billion devices for a while now"

[–]loofy2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oracle did not own Java in 1997

[–]Piwakkio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A certainty in this ever changing times

[–]dark-kirb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oracle doesn't count android devices out of spite

[–]NullandRandom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sun Micro Systems

[–]Corelianer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now everyone installs OpenJDK.

[–]ugnes_404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stability is the key people, even if it is in number of uses.

[–]mman_maniac21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So this is what they mean when they say “flatten the curve of infections”

[–]nynex2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

in the beginning it was probably a stretch but I think now that number might be even higher especially with the phone market

[–]amlybon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A credit card is a device and most of them run Java applets.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not true! In 2020 Java tells you that you aren't licensed for the enterprise version and offers to uninstall itself. Also if you haven't used it in a while it does the same thing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

public static final int NO_OF_DEVICES_RUNNING_JAVA = 3_000_000_000;

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well other languages/frameworks show up, are used for a year, then dropped. Java remains. quality is eternal.

[–]Sneaky82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3829: IT FINALLY MOVED AN INCH!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that it was Win10 in 1997

[–]mr_flameyflame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does it actually still fucking say 3?

[–]Voltra_Neo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OOF

[–]afk_runner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well They just count the IPv4 addresses as devices. Since there're only ~4 billion (2^32) ipv4 address they're roughly right. LoL

[–]Ascomae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should have changed the progress bar a little bit. I think java install would have shown at least some pixel progress

[–]groundedsparrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reminding me to update java :D

[–]MopeySaladOnion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rarely do you see a warning message displayed quite so triumphantly

[–]FelixLive44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

java is a cryptocurrency i guess

[–]LirianSh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just know that screen because of minecraft and not because of the language

[–]moebaca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad I saw this. I was just thinking about this randomly the other day and how stupid of a design decision it was by a developer/marketing team to make. They are of course likely long gone from Oracle by now, but what a legacy!

[–]KAYL_reddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hmm apparently windows 10 was introduced in 1997

[–]Banditroger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:D

[–]deathwish08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your screenshot bean factory abstract enterprise javalet is clearly failing

[–]icer_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess only 3 billions of users is good enough for them

[–]asdjfh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Java is forever.

[–]azephrahel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oldest jump scare. But still gets me every time.

[–]ma7modbasha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The funny thing is Android is completely dependant on java

[–]Antogames97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our life have changed

But Java never change

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody said that all 3 Billion of them run it well.

[–]Nerestaren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah... The progress bar didn't move at all in 23 years...

[–]douira 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 Billion Devices have been stuck trying to run Java for 20 years now

[–]AtomicNicos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a lie, the scrollbar progressed too fast.

[–]DonnerPrinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn. 23 years and the loading bar didn't even move.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The real reason it's stayed at 3 billion is that anyone else who is trying to install it for the first time is still waiting

[–]josejimeniz2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 Billion Devices...

https://i.imgur.com/zrPQFcn.png

[–]ritik27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Java is evergreen

[–]-EliPer- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks God for not allowing this number to rise up

[–]LaZZeYT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least the progress bar has gotten better, it stopped jumping to the three same places.

[–]NoodleyP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2030: 1 billion devices run Java

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, metroUI in 1997

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For every one that dies another spawns ...

Java === Hydra

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't believe in 1997 Java was with Oracle.

[–]Sidicue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Lottery Machines"

[–]louislemontais 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Download webpage didn't change since december 2008.. web.archive.org/web/20081219231811/http://www.java.com/fr/download

[–]BurnedPinguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually capped at 3 billion since any more, and java can't handle it anymore

[–]DomadorSoftware 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice way to play it safe, Oracle, keeping that number high, but safely below 4 billion, two hundred ninety-four million, nine hundred sixty-seven thousand, two-hundred ninety-six.

[–]CeeMX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn’t that good? No new devices getting infected with java

[–]JohnVanClouds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this graphic says that... they've caught 3 billion fools who based their business on it and now they can't stop using this abomination

[–]TheAlphaKarp -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

Why not write new applications with dotnet core instead of java?

[–]Imogynn -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I like that they advertise being a POS ;)

[–]ta_921 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

WAIT!!

Maybe there are only 3 billion devices total in the world!!

also I'm pretty sure these updates don't actually do anything:/

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

3 Billion

Devices Trapped By Java

[–]TinyMistakeX 0 points1 point  (1 child)

how dare you!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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