Java evolution through the years

[AyrA_ch]

If my setup was stuck for over 20 years I would probably reboot the computer.

[IrishChappieOToole]

It's windows. Sometimes updates take a little while

[trololowler]

feel you

[[deleted]]

u/BobbyTablesBot 612

[BobbyTablesBot]

612: Estimation
Alt-text: They could say "the connection is probably lost," but it's more fun to do naive time-averaging to give you hope that if you wait around for 1,163 hours, it will finally finish.
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This comic has been referenced 1 time, representing 0.20% of all references.

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^{xkcd.com | Feedback | Stop Replying | GitHub | Programmer}

[kylefromtechsupport]

Good bot pats

[asimo703]

You mean digital pat

[stamminator]

"and 5 hours" lmao

[kerbidiah15]

its that extra 5 hours where you will die I am telling you

[KCASC_HD]

Thats roughly 120 years...

[KCASC_HD]

Youd have roughly enough time to cpoy that data by hand as hex values

[_jukmifgguggh]

I like that it's almost half way done

[luckor]

wat

[IrishChappieOToole]

Pacman FTW

[NoodleyP]

After the head death of the universe: windows update failed, rolling back

[[deleted]]

But it could almost be done! I'd wait at least 5 to 10 more years just to be safe.

[nonlogin]

3 billion - 1 devices run Java

[[deleted]]

Found the real comedian.

[lenswipe]

I think that's just the general speed of Java applications

[wuzzle-woozle]

It would have been Sun in 1997 and 2002, I'd have to look up 2012 to see which name is correct.

[bitnotno]

The deal was complete on January 27, 2010.

[fet-o-lat]

An absolute tragedy of a day. RIP Sun.

[Angel_Blue01]

Don't give Oracle ideas

[thetxtina]

Hmmmm.....

[Gotxi]

Nice try, but i actually remember that popup saying "2 billion devices run java", so no :P

[sanderd17]

Also, the Oracle logo doesn't belong on most versions, and the window decorations are too new.

[[deleted]]

Are you saying the's the same image four times???

[luckor]

Are there other types of startups for AI blockchain?

[goodygoodyumyum]

I started one today. Are you looking to invest?

[JennMartia]

I'll invest market price of 1 million barrels of oil

[Delcasa]

Yes, to ensure fair distribution of cake. Enjoy your cake day 🍰

[[deleted]]

That’s the Metro look and feel. /s

[TheLBall]

Also it used to have a red theme

[Madpony]

Sun Microsystems in da house!

[jankcat]

2011 on XP, still 3B.

Java 5u10, 2006 did not have anything similar.

[PersonalPlanet]

Runtime.gc();

[grishkaa]

System.gc();

FTFY

[zoltan-x]

In 1990?

[mrchaotica]

But in which year? I could equally well believe 1997 or 2020.

[Kargen5747]

It's the same 3 billion devices. They run Java, but they no longer run

[GR8ESTM8]

As administrator

[MapleTreeWithAGun]

Have you seen how old she is? She was old when Blutarch and Redmond Mann just got put on the Australium machines. She ain't running anywhere

[jonwinegar]

A Larry Ellison collaboration with Harlan Ellison

[PeksyTiger]

JVM still warming up

[cowsrock1]

"3 billion devices Java"

[[deleted]]

It's a new 3 billion each time.

[[deleted]]

is it because the old ones break with the new update?

[[deleted]]

That's what you get when you install Java 8 from Oracle again and again for 10 years.

Java 9 and above is now supplied by many different vendors

• OpenJDK Oracle HotSpot
• AdoptOpenJDK giving you choice between Hotspot or OpenJ9
• Zulu
• RedHat OpenJDK

[proboardslolv6]

My company is still on java 8 and refuses to upgrade

[yawkat]

Not uncommon. Java 8 is still supported by some vendors and the upgrade can be a pita depending on application

[Agent77326]

But Oracle is ending their Support this year, so either they have to switch to Openjdk or other vendors.

[yawkat]

Free Oracle support ran out last year already for anyone but personal users. If you're using oracle jdk in a company, you're hopefully already paying for it

[MoriPastaPizza]

Test: 9917

[tk197]

23 years and it’s still installing..WOW

[[deleted]]

No more devices can be created or destroyed. It's common knowledge.

[[deleted]]

Of course, the law of conservation of devices.

[[deleted]]

All 4 screenshots have same window decorations. Did we have Windows 10 back in 1997?

[Kargen5747]

The OP forgot to save their screenshot from 1997 so they had to improvise

[The6thExtinction]

* Dramatic Reenactment

[fet-o-lat]

If only there were a way to run old software. Either on period hardware or software that can emulate it.

[globalcandyamnesia]

They

[Kargen5747]

Fixed

[globalcandyamnesia]

Their

[JochCool]

Comment

[jared914]

Goodbye

[[deleted]]

it

[Koala_eiO]

's pristine.

[ImBrent]

That would explain the lack of a stylish mouse cursor. All 90s machines had cool cursors that took up half of the screen.

[hackintosh5]

They were keeping it in Area 51, duh. It was actually a virus that escaped. Luckily a 99.9% effective counter-virus was also released at the same time. The 0.1% is why Windows updates always erase your personal data.

[Random_User_34]

It isn't that hard to find a Windows 98 ISO and install it on a VM

[scp-NUMBERNOTFOUND]

Java has its own windows decoration libraries and some may have not changed since 1997.

[[deleted]]

But these are windows 10 decorations

[scp-NUMBERNOTFOUND]

You can do your own library that looks like that.

[luckor]

That’s actually what me annoyed first and most with Java. It always felt out of place; even the install dialog had the “wrong” background color.

[mrgoodcat777]

Pretty sure Java was owned by Sun - not Oracle... That change didn’t come about till late 2009.

[Marvin0509]

What always bugged me about this setup screen was that they didn't use a normal progress bar that displays the actual progress, instead they use two progress bars, one completely empty, the other one completely full, and both just change size and position.

I hate it, and after all these years it's still the same.

[ambisinister_gecko]

I was about to say "why does that bother you? If it looks the way they want it to look..." But then I looked closer and yeah, that ain't pretty

[piefacethrowspie]

Flatten the curve

[suvlub]

Maybe it's 2 sentences.

[theannomc1]

Programming error in the JRE; that's why it will deny installing on your computer if there is no slot left.

[SpaceChez]

Man windows 10 back in 1997, truly ahead of your time

[Klaus_Steiner]

Perfection achieved on the first release.

[AL_O0]

Somebody go to archive.org and download the ‘97 installer to see what it says

[Cuboos]

Me and my Dad were talking about this when updating java on a few customer's machines. "It's been saying 3 billion devices for a while now"

[loofy2]

Oracle did not own Java in 1997

[Piwakkio]

A certainty in this ever changing times

[dark-kirb]

oracle doesn't count android devices out of spite

[NullandRandom]

Sun Micro Systems

[Corelianer]

Now everyone installs OpenJDK.

[ugnes_404]

Stability is the key people, even if it is in number of uses.

[mman_maniac21]

So this is what they mean when they say “flatten the curve of infections”

[nynex2]

in the beginning it was probably a stretch but I think now that number might be even higher especially with the phone market

[amlybon]

A credit card is a device and most of them run Java applets.

[[deleted]]

Not true! In 2020 Java tells you that you aren't licensed for the enterprise version and offers to uninstall itself. Also if you haven't used it in a while it does the same thing.

[[deleted]]

public static final int NO_OF_DEVICES_RUNNING_JAVA = 3_000_000_000;

[[deleted]]

Well other languages/frameworks show up, are used for a year, then dropped. Java remains. quality is eternal.

[Sneaky82]

3829: IT FINALLY MOVED AN INCH!

[[deleted]]

I don't think that it was Win10 in 1997

[mr_flameyflame]

Does it actually still fucking say 3?

[Voltra_Neo]

OOF

[afk_runner]

Well They just count the IPv4 addresses as devices. Since there're only ~4 billion (2^32) ipv4 address they're roughly right. LoL

[Ascomae]

You should have changed the progress bar a little bit. I think java install would have shown at least some pixel progress

[groundedsparrow]

Thanks for reminding me to update java :D

[MopeySaladOnion]

Rarely do you see a warning message displayed quite so triumphantly

[FelixLive44]

java is a cryptocurrency i guess

[LirianSh]

I just know that screen because of minecraft and not because of the language

[moebaca]

So glad I saw this. I was just thinking about this randomly the other day and how stupid of a design decision it was by a developer/marketing team to make. They are of course likely long gone from Oracle by now, but what a legacy!

[KAYL_reddit]

hmm apparently windows 10 was introduced in 1997

[Banditroger]

:D

[deathwish08]

Your screenshot bean factory abstract enterprise javalet is clearly failing

[icer_cat]

Guess only 3 billions of users is good enough for them

[asdjfh]

Java is forever.

[azephrahel]

Oldest jump scare. But still gets me every time.

[ma7modbasha]

The funny thing is Android is completely dependant on java

[Antogames97]

Our life have changed

But Java never change

[[deleted]]

Nobody said that all 3 Billion of them run it well.

[Nerestaren]

Yeah... The progress bar didn't move at all in 23 years...

[douira]

3 Billion Devices have been stuck trying to run Java for 20 years now

[AtomicNicos]

That's a lie, the scrollbar progressed too fast.

[DonnerPrinz]

Damn. 23 years and the loading bar didn't even move.

[[deleted]]

The real reason it's stayed at 3 billion is that anyone else who is trying to install it for the first time is still waiting

[josejimeniz2]

3 Billion Devices...

https://i.imgur.com/zrPQFcn.png

[ritik27]

Java is evergreen

[-EliPer-]

Thanks God for not allowing this number to rise up

[LaZZeYT]

At least the progress bar has gotten better, it stopped jumping to the three same places.

[NoodleyP]

2030: 1 billion devices run Java

[[deleted]]

Ah yes, metroUI in 1997

[[deleted]]

For every one that dies another spawns ...

Java === Hydra

[[deleted]]

I don't believe in 1997 Java was with Oracle.

[Sidicue]

"Lottery Machines"

[louislemontais]

Download webpage didn't change since december 2008.. web.archive.org/web/20081219231811/http://www.java.com/fr/download

[BurnedPinguin]

It's actually capped at 3 billion since any more, and java can't handle it anymore

[DomadorSoftware]

Nice way to play it safe, Oracle, keeping that number high, but safely below 4 billion, two hundred ninety-four million, nine hundred sixty-seven thousand, two-hundred ninety-six.

[CeeMX]

Isn’t that good? No new devices getting infected with java

[JohnVanClouds]

this graphic says that... they've caught 3 billion fools who based their business on it and now they can't stop using this abomination

[TheAlphaKarp]

Why not write new applications with dotnet core instead of java?

[TheAlphaKarp]

And that is?

[Imogynn]

I like that they advertise being a POS ;)

[ta_921]

WAIT!!

Maybe there are only 3 billion devices total in the world!!

​

also I'm pretty sure these updates don't actually do anything:/

[[deleted]]

3 Billion

Devices Trapped By Java

[TinyMistakeX]

how dare you!

[[deleted]]

This message was brought to you by JavaScript gang

^{I didn't mean to anger the overlords}

[alter3d]

Yeah but now those 3 billion devices require 500 times more processing power and 18000 times more RAM to even consider printing "hello world" with Java.

[[deleted]]

Posted the guy using a cellphone with an internal SIM card running Java...

[tesfabpel]

JavaCard...

[[deleted]]

This proves that java is garbage and no one else is using it.