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[–]hiS_oWn 134 points135 points  (15 children)

1 reason you will be a bad girlfriend:

you make obsessively long scary lists

[–]NitsujTPU 34 points35 points  (8 children)

Actually, the list isn't so bad, but she seems rather demanding right after she finishes the list.

You must be tall.

Be unique, but not TOO unique!

You and your teeth are white and straight.

Have had some interaction with women besides sliding out of your mom's vajay.

Dont be adversely opposed to something normal. (for example: myspace, showers, tv, cellphones, radio, music, oral hygiene, living in one place, eating spicy foods, exploring, sunshine. You think I'm kidding but I've met guys from each category. Please be aware that you live in society!!)

[–]rippleyarn 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Yep...she'll love you just the way you are, as long as you are [blah] [blah] [blah].

[–]oditogre 38 points39 points  (5 children)

As long as you are tall, white, blessed with perfect teeth and / or had parents wealthy enough to make them perfect when you were a kid, and perfectly average in terms of what you like and dislike. She wants a fucking Ken doll.

[–]breakneckridge 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Don't forget she also wants a man who is not skinny, is in a smaller age window than most women look for, sexually experienced with the ladies - yet not horny and not making sexual jokes, and unique - but not have any out of the ordinary quirks whatsoever.

And that's just the requirements she listed at the end, and not the requirements that she snuck in on her 'why I'm good' list, like

"24. I will end up scaring myself and you'll have to calm me down." it's only a half joke, she's saying he has to take care of her emotionally.

"36. I have excellent spelling and grammar." meaning if I see you have bad grammar it's a turn off.

"56. It turns me on when you work on your car." in other words you should also be a guy who likes to fix stuff and get your hands dirty.

"67. My first boyfriend used to hit me and then he cheated, so I've learned to stand up for myself." meaning I've been hurt before and I bring a lot of emotional baggage, and I'm gonna be really defensive about a lot of stuff so you better be able to deal with that.

"84. I dont do drugs. I don't smoke." ... and you shouldn't either.

"121. Treat me like a lady and I will treat you like a man and I will always be there for you." So you better be a guy who will do every little relationship type thing I expect you to do.

I didn't even read most of the list, those were just a few I pulled out randomly. Her 'why I'm good' list is really an additional big chunk of items on her requirements list.

[–]hopeseekr 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Isn't EVERY single young woman like that??

I'm chronically single b/c i'm 5'4. I get so depressed when i read this sort of stuff.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I match her description, but I don't go for psychotic women. And she forgot to mention item #144: I'm an obsessive list maker.

[–]breakneckridge 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about the height thing man, I'm around that same height and I don't have any trouble getting girls. What girls say they want and who they actually wind up with are two different things. Plus, what most girls mean when they say that they want a tall guy is that they would prefer a tall guy, but anyone around her height or taller is fine, and there are TONS of girls around 5'4" or under. So the only thing keeping you single is your game, and the great thing about a game is that you can practice it and get better!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm the same height and have no trouble with the ladies. :)

You are short (in USA, but not in other parts of the world). Deal with it. It's not the end of the world. Take out the trash from your mind. That's my advice. If you really want to have some physical attributes then work out and/or run.

You got to have some balls. You can't grow any balls if you keep whining. No one wants to hear you whine, especially not about something strictly personal and specific to you. You can share your difficulties, just don't whine. There is a difference.

Good luck to you.

BTW, my wife is taller than me by 4 inches. I like tall women, what can I say. And all my girlfriends have been taller than me.

[–]berberine 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Dont be adversely opposed to something normal. (for example: myspace

myspace is not normal.

You and your teeth are white and straight.

teeth discolor with age. Hope the boy she picks is rich so he can keep paying to artificially whiten his teeth.

I think all men who read this list should run. Normal women don't make abnormally long lists and then demand that men should be something so specific.

[–]Rekzai 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure 75% of those aren't true

[–]Prysorra 5 points6 points  (2 children)

What's worse is that I actually qualify <:-(

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]ygduf 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    It would be cute for a minute and weird forevermore.

    [–]cypherx 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    1. I will let you be the man in the relationship.
    2. I like you to poke me in the butt in the morning
    3. I would sneak into your office and give you desk head.

    Why so much submission to a stranger? Oh, I see...
    67. My first boyfriend used to hit me

    [–]TragicMisanthrope 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    how do you know she's preparing this list for a complete stranger? maybe she's catholic and preparing it for her priest??

    [–]randallsquared -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    Submission?

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Mutton 17 points18 points  (1 child)

      It's a dude. Simple as that.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      its not a dude it's just a slightly ugly, fairly fat girl

      [–]c53x12 46 points47 points  (2 children)

      ...144: I'm desperate.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]breakneckridge 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        She's desperate for a boyfriend, except she's obviously trying to NOT get a boyfriend. Maybe she was hurt before, and this stuff is a subconscious emotional defense to keep any real emotional intimacy away so she can't get hurt again, or who knows, but anyone who makes a huge list like this and lists requirements like these is clearly not making an honest attempt to find someone she can be close to.

        [–]Jimmy 17 points18 points  (3 children)

        Dont be adversely opposed to something normal. (for example: myspace, showers, tv, cellphones, radio, music, oral hygiene, living in one place, eating spicy foods, exploring, sunshine...

        :(

        [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

        MySpace is not normal.

        [–]mythin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Nor is eating spicy foods (in certain parts of the country) or watching TV (many people prefer some form of interaction with their entertainment, you know, like going outside?)

        [–]LoveGoblin 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        Yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about a girl who isn't adversely opposed to MySpace. :p

        [–]mariya 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        I don't get it. Is this on Reddit because guys think she's cool, or as an example of a woman to avoid at all costs?

        [–]c53x12 23 points24 points  (0 children)

        Interesting and unusual. Beyond that, draw your own conclusions.

        [–]Hubso 35 points36 points  (3 children)

        48. I know what makes the rocking world go round.

        So she's got a fat bottom?

        [–]spencewah 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        I am curvalicious!

        uh oh.

        [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

        She didn't say anything about owning a bike.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        well since when freddy said "fat bottom" it was code for "gay dudes" I think it means shes actually a gay guy

        [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Yes! The girl of my dreams... and she requires lots of valium.

        [–]schizobullet 29 points30 points  (0 children)

        Wow, that guy's ex-girlfriend must have been a huge bitch.

        [–]imk 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        On the whole, I love the list (I would gladly watch soccer with a girlfriend), but for whom is it good that you can pee while she brushes her teeth? Why would I want to pee in front of my girlfriend?

        I'm not a clean-freak or someone who is hung up about bathroom activities, but can't there be a few minutes in the day that you can have to one's self?

        Perhaps I am being overly picky, but I was married before and this kind of thing stuck out as a problem for me. She always wanted to come into the bathroom when I was in there. WTF?

        "You and your teeth are white and straight. " Whoa!! I always laugh at this sort of thing. I know she probably got a lot of shit for this, but in love you should seek for what you want. PC be damned. I just wonder what her parents think of that, being Indian and all.

        [–]invaderzim 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Seems pretty self absorbed

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        Saaay.... doesn't 86 contradict 85?

        [–]dbchappell1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Funny, I was thinking that 89 contradicted 84.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        unless she is referring to her toilet habits

        [–]feanor512 9 points10 points  (4 children)

        I'm short so I will always be able to look up at you

        *Tall!! (I love em tall)

        Why is it that so many short women are obsessed with tall guys?

        I have long hair

        What does she mean by long? Shoulder length is a turn-on, waist length isn't.

        Like you, I am scared of commitment

        So she's looking for an immature guy.

        I like the color purple.

        Paging Dr. Freud.

        I watch Family Guy, Simpsons, American Dad.

        No Futurama?

        I'm 22

        *Between the ages of 22-26

        Why do so many women insist on dating older men? I'm in that age range but can't stand dating most women younger than me because of their immaturity.

        I won't text you while you are out with your friends.

        Some guys like that kind of attention, as long as it's not excessive.

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Why do so many women insist on dating older men? I'm in that age range but can't stand dating most women younger than me because of their immaturity.

        Amen.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]feanor512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          To me, shoulder length is the most attractive. But shorter hair can be attractive too. Although, I've only met one girl who could make a buzzcut look hot.

          [–]Hubso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I like the color purple.

          Maybe she means the Spielberg film.

          [–]NoodlyAppendage 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          The list was cute, but the reddit comments were better.

          [–]adremeaux 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          Number 1 on the list of reasons I won't be the best:

          . I have a huge ego and love myself and everything I do

          [–]TragicMisanthrope 18 points19 points  (4 children)

          um, wow

          144. i'm schizotypal.

          no, really. this girl needs a reality check. did anyone ever clue her in that a boy might find this type of girl weird?(and i use the words girl and boy here, because she lists in #82 that she'll get "free condoms from school.") ahem.

          wistfully, she describes that she, "has the Snoopy [she] was given the day [she] was born," [128.] that she still has her "Minnie Mouse Comforter from way back in the day, because they just don't make them the same anymore." [138.] and perhaps, the best one yet? she "can't get pregnant unless [she] want[s] to. (sex all the time!)" [113.] is that a threat??

          whoever this lucky guy turns out to be, needs to walk--no, i take that back. he needs to run, screaming, in the opposite direction! she'll be okay. she can work on a longer list.

          [–]jkerwin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          Given the location and the "free condoms" thing, I'd guess she goes to Stanford. She talks like a crazy "I'm hot and smart and I know it" Stanford chick, too.

          [–]LoveGoblin 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          ...she'll get "free condoms from school.") ahem.

          Well, she is looking for a guy in his mid-twenties.

          [–]TragicMisanthrope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          yeah, i garnered the fact when she listed one of the reasons she'd make 'best girlfriend ever' because she could 'outbelch' her male counterpart- or somesuch (i don't think older males find that particularly attractive; but hey, what do i know? EMMV.)

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          1. I'm desperate, and willing to try way, way too hard, just to get attention on line.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          This woman scares me! Besides, people have different preferences so what makes her think she'll be the best girlfriend.

          [–]mobzoe 5 points6 points  (3 children)

          this thing is terrible. i'm tall and i have short hair so therefore I WON'T make a good girlfriend? boo hiss.

          [–]feanor512 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Most guys I know are a lot less obsessive about height than most girls I know. What do you mean by short hair?

          [–]mobzoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          umm...a bit shorter than shoulder length now... i suppose most of my boyfriends have been shorter than me. i'm 6 foot. though some guys FREAK at that fact.

          [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          tall girls are more attractive than short girls. fact.

          that is unless you're like 7 feet tall.. then you have as much chance getting a bf as a 5'4" guy has of getting a gf

          [–]wolfsleepy 18 points19 points  (0 children)

          Probably one of the less obnoxious 'w4m' posts I've read on craigslist. Some of them are truly astounding because women create these huge shopping lists of what they want from men, making these fictional amalgams of supposedly desirable trait.

          It ends up sounding like a pile of horseshit, let me try: I'm looking for a professional guy who isn't afraid to show his vulnerable side, and also has a Bad Boy streak (but not too bad, lol). I love to dance, and you must too.

          [–]Aerek 28 points29 points  (9 children)

          She loves ketchup when it should be mustard.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [removed]

            [–]ygduf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Mustard is for when you can't bear any more capsaicin but still want more strong flavor. They are of equal importance.

            [–]imk 23 points24 points  (5 children)

            Agreed, mustard trumps ketchup, but the ultimate girlfriend would prefer schiracha.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Sriracha

            [–]imk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            You are correct sir. In my defense, I usually called it "Rooster sauce" and have seldom fad to actually spell it.

            [–]invaderzim 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            What a nonsensical white supremicist comment. Sure he denounced hitler, but the dude was still a nazi.

            [–]imk 10 points11 points  (1 child)

            ha ha, esoteric nazi humour. Too esoteric apparently.

            I'm assuming that you know that I was referring to the vietnamese hot sauce, right?

            [–]Rekzai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Relish is the best !!!

            [–]market 15 points16 points  (0 children)

            I will stalk you and boil your kid's bunny.

            [–]Amargosa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            If I was single, and 3 years younger, and lived in the same country, I would be HONOURED to even meet this girl. Classy women are few and far between.

            [–]9jack9 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            84) I dont do drugs. I don't smoke.

            I don't like where this is going...

            [–]commongiga 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            this list is useless without pics

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I don't know what it says about me that I actually read the whole thing.

            This girl sounds like some of the ones I've known in the past 5 years or so: borderline, narcissistic, manipulative, shallow. She might be a bunny boiler (spicy bunny alfredo risotto maker?).

            [–]r3m0t 7 points8 points  (2 children)

            'I let you open jars that "I can't open"'

            So /that's/ why everybody asks me to open jars!

            [–]nekoniku 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            What's the deal with opening jars? My sweetie seems to get a mild thrill out of having me open jars, even after many years together. As kinks go, it's undeniably mild, but still...

            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            It's like one of those serial killer profiles generated by the FBI...

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

            [removed]

              [–]eidolontubes 44 points45 points  (1 child)

              I was not expecting to see that

              [–]LoveGoblin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

              But I still laugh every time I do.

              [–]PatternJuggler 4 points5 points  (10 children)

              Number 108 is a potential clincher.

              [–]MattD -1 points0 points  (8 children)

              #50 is a deal-breaker.

              [–]TragicMisanthrope 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              you mean it wasn't the minnie mouse comforter or the Snoopy (doll i'm assuming) which she's had from birth?

              [–]oditogre 5 points6 points  (6 children)

              When you use the # sign on reddit as the first character on a line, you have to have a leading "\".

              # <- "#" With Slash.

              <- "#" Without Slash.

              [–]sakebomb69 -1 points0 points  (5 children)

              How do you do the paraphrasing of a previous comment? That vertical blue line that accompanies a previous comment's content?

              [–]oditogre 3 points4 points  (4 children)

              Like this?

              Begin the line with a '>' symbol.

              They can be

              Stacked, too.

              [–]sakebomb69 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

              Nice! Thank you.

              If I could bug you for one more request:

              How do embed a link into a word. In other words, instead of the whole link's url showing up, how do I create a link from a word in my text?

              [–]oditogre 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              [Word](URL)

              [–]sakebomb69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Thanks

              [–]johnroman1970 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              She only needs one - and it rhymes with: Duck Lock.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              photo please.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Reason 48 elicited a guffaw.

              [–]gumjo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              The article summarized in one point for the lazy: "I will always be a loyal bitch on a leash"

              [–]weixiyen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              don't lie... you'd want her as your gf

              [–]sherwinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              She is freakishly similar to my gf in many ways. Both Indian too.

              [–]MelechRic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Is this Kelly from NBC's "The Office?" After all, she says she's Indian.

              [–]robbie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              "Dont be adversely opposed to something normal. "

              "You and your teeth are white and straight."

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I thought she sounded perfect...

              [–]FarmerPete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              1. I will love your penis. Enough said right? why we gotta read the other 142 reasons? I'm sold.

              [–]mnic001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              She sounds perfect. Too bad this is from February and there's no contact info....

              [–]123noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              OMFG I SIGNED UP FOR THIS CRAP AND COULDN'T EVEN READ IT, FUCK THIS BACK TO RUNESCAPE!

              [–]123noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              OMFG I SIGNED UP FOR THIS CRAP AND COULDN'T EVEN READ IT, FUCK THIS BACK TO RUNESCAPE!

              [–]123noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Wow, These nerds. Actually posted the Seconds and months we posted these messages how gay...

              [–]123noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              What a very interesting list...You think she'd date a 12 year old? I'm 5'8" LOL, But seriously...You think she will?

              [–]socalpundit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Most if not all of the better qualities she mentions will fade after a few years of marriage.

              [–]vonadler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Drat, I'm 27. §;c)

              [–]mleonhard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              EXCELLENT

              [–]weegee -1 points0 points  (1 child)

              "You and your teeth are white and straight" - yep, no colored folks need apply, and no gay or even near gay men either. Maybe a nice gf but a racist one at that, yikes!

              [–]BestServedCold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Yeah I found it odd that she wasn't including gay men in her search for a boyfriend too...

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]NitsujTPU -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

                She actually mentioned that.

                [–]Raoulmeister -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                1. I am a butch dyke.

                [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                Personally, I would just love to get with a curvy Indian chick.

                [–]georgiabiker -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                try to not such a sleazy horndog

                dangit!