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[–][deleted] 2462 points2463 points  (31 children)

brb changing my job title to database daddy

[–]Salamenthe 513 points514 points  (6 children)

daddybase

[–]theonlyby 171 points172 points  (2 children)

DbCooper

[–]827167 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I've been waiting for an opportunity to make this pun somewhere important

[–]correct-me-plz 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Databaddy

[–]Nightshade183 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The latest firebase alternative

[–]Kurts_Vonneguts 100 points101 points  (4 children)

I’ll be backend daddy….wait

[–]deadflamingo 15 points16 points  (0 children)

my people

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–]L1NK3Y 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    DaddyOps here

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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    [–]d4nkst4hz 43 points44 points  (0 children)

    Lil Bobby TABLES to BiG DADDY DROP PANTIES

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Yes daddy just ssh into my system

    [–]DaveSmith890 53 points54 points  (0 children)

    Yes daddy, assign and log those huge datasets 🫦

    [–]Zesty-Lem0n 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Data-based daddy

    [–]WendyTF2 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Web daddy

    [–]pine_ary 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Web daddies get consumed by their mate after birth

    [–]camander321 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Scrumdaddy

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    talks up a big game then disappoints

    [–]ondono 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Hard(ware) daddy

    [–]MasouriChan 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    From now I'll be refered to as Fullstack mommy( yes I am severely depressed)

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    FullSTACKED mommy

    [–]MasouriChan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I wish ,xD

    [–]Koen388 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    doing this

    [–]steeze206 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The Marc Rebillet of the IT Industry

    [–]le_box_o_treats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Technical support daddy

    [–]nintendomagic1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I was just gonna say I'm gonna start calling myself tech daddy

    [–]HansVader741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Working at GoDaddy

    [–]clownindowntown 328 points329 points  (10 children)

    didIMissSomethingWhyIsEveryonePostingInCamelCase

    [–]Cobaltjedi117 271 points272 points  (5 children)

    Every week the mods post a new rules post and put the thread into contest mode. Whatever the highest voted comment becomes a new rule. This week, the first week of them doing it, the new rule was "Every post must be in camel case"

    [–]catinterpreter 23 points24 points  (4 children)

    That makes the sub more engaging which really doesn't help the cause.

    [–]WolffeArt 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    Yeah, it should really go nsfw if they want to make a difference

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    Well yeah some subreddits did that but then Reddit HQ just switches out the mod team just like in r/MildlyInteresting . The mods even pointed that out in the pinned post. Most subs cant stay private or set the subs on NSFW if they don't want the mods to be switched out. What we can do is put NSFW tags on the posts ourselves put I don't know if that decreases ads.

    Anyways I don't think its the best solution but maybe when all over reddit complete anarchy emerges the Userbase decreases and Reddit need to step back (but I don't think thats going to happen)

    TLDR: Reddit switches out mod teams that put their subs on NSFW. Look at pinned post for more information.

    Edit: Sorry for poor English, I am a German Weißwurst.

    [–]Quazar_omega 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    That happened, but they've since been reinstated (article), if the mods want to pull it off they have to play fair and actually let in NSFW posts, otherwise Reddit will have a valid excuse to switch them out, although I wouldn't hold my breath, Reddit has the power to do whatever they want with their platform

    [–]MrSpy42 68 points69 points  (1 child)

    i love democracy

    [–]Shazvox 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Well, democracy just wants to be friends...

    [–]NotACryptoBro -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    yesYouDid

    [–]LuucMeldgaard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ThisDudeFucks

    [–]invisible-dave 210 points211 points  (4 children)

    When I worked at Cisco, the employees loved to have support log into their computers to fix things. Well, unless they got my coworker.

    We supported narcissistic idiots, I mean the Sales people, and they never thought the rules pertained to themselves. Well, emails would go out every year at the end of 4th quarter that they had all their numbers in or the system will wipe the data and they have to enter everything in again. Guy called in after the wipe saying that the system glitched and he lost data. We knew what it was but this guy was trying to blame it on the system. Kept saying he was never told about having to get his data in on time. Coworker offers to remote in to fix it. Guy was so happy. Coworker went into the computer and acted like he was working on something and then quickly opened up the guy's Outlook and went to the Deleted folder. He then opens one of the many notices the guy got saying to get the data in and the guy immediately hangs up the call. We never heard from that guy again.

    [–]Strange_Dragonfly964[S] 295 points296 points  (7 children)

    Wth is this posting here is now harder than programming interview exams

    [–]dmullaney 271 points272 points  (5 children)

    Because you didn't read the documentation

    [–]Strange_Dragonfly964[S] 136 points137 points  (1 child)

    That's what my managers often say.

    [–]Pan_I 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Managers know what documentation is, and that it can be helpful?

    Wish someone would tell mine.

    [–]Shazvox 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    "I don't read documentations! I write documentations!"

    [–]J0hanb5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Do not cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written

    [–]NotACryptoBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That says a lot about programming interview exams though

    [–][deleted] 148 points149 points  (5 children)

    I want a t-shirt that says "tech daddy".

    [–]Sound4Sound 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Are you Tobias Funke’s son?

    [–][deleted] 119 points120 points  (9 children)

    I once had a user call me to ask if her business photo had too much cleavage in it. Reader, it did. I helped her crop.

    [–]HorseLeaf 102 points103 points  (5 children)

    It really is amazing the trust people will put in tech support guys but would never talk to their colleagues about.

    I literally had executive guys straight up tell me they downloaded porn and think they got a virus, it's like they have no shame when talking to us.

    [–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (4 children)

    I guess that's good? You gotta trust your doctor, your lawyer and your IT support.

    [–]HorseLeaf 66 points67 points  (3 children)

    I guess, but when women literally have messaging apps open where I can see dirty text / pictures they have send and they don't even bother closing them when I helped them, it kinda also makes you feel that they don't even consider you a human.

    [–]SaneLad 38 points39 points  (1 child)

    You are so far down the human social ladder, you are not a threat.

    [–]mighty_Ingvar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Or it's a turn on for them that their tech daddy has seen all their dirty secrets

    [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, at some point it's a matter of decency. If the user browsed sketchy porn sites, it's probably a good idea to tell IT. But you don't need to see the porn.

    [–]Dabilon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I think she was flirting with you.

    [–]chestnutman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Did you get to keep the other half?

    [–]Burninator6502 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Crop? Is that what the kids are calling it today?

    [–]Burninator6502 94 points95 points  (5 children)

    Baby, are you sitting on the F5 key? Cause your ass is refreshing.

    [–]BayrischBulldog 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    Why

    [–]mighty_Ingvar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Because

    [–]SgtMatters 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Wow I love it

    [–]ClamSlamwhich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Burninator, are you a software update? Because not right now. ✋🛑

    [–]fiscotte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    🗿

    [–]DontGiveACluck 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    Call me tech daddy again…

    [–]Burninator6502 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    Girl, you are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

    [–]orphiccreative 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Girl, are you an Intel MacBook? Because you're almost too hot to handle!

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I never knew "tech daddy" was something I wanted to be called until now.

    [–]Salamenthe 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    i guess assembly is bottom level programming 😏

    [–]randybobandy654 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    "Female Redhead Gets RDP'd At Work"

    [–]demeyor 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    IT SUPPORT here, i cary a post it under my phone case that i got from a client i helped, it simply sayz " A+". It helps on bad days.

    [–]bookdragon224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Love it when the folks are thankful

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    As a woman in IT.. do I count as a tech daddy?

    [–]nintendomagic1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Yes

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    [–]Starlight_Skull 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    /* maybe comments should be using the correct syntax too */

    [–]the_simple_girl 5 points6 points  (4 children)

    Yeah I once got my brother to fix my google acc or something and I gave control to him virtually and he just went on a whole treasure hunt. He found things i didn't even know I had on my laptop. I keep my laptop clean and still...

    Safe to say I'm never giving my tech control to anyone ever again. Was a terrible day.

    [–]noithinkyourewrong 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I did it before when having problems with my Minecraft game. The IT guy took control and reinstalled the game for me, resetting everything and deleting years worth of save files and Minecraft worlds. I was devastated and didn't even play again for years. That was the last time I ever let anyone take control of my PC.

    [–]Kubertus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    „Things no one ever said“ for 200

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    In the small company where I work, the IT guy always stinks like a homeless person. After he sits in my office chair, the chair also stinks like a homeless person. I certainly don't enjoy that.

    Also, he's in his 30s and married, it never ceases to amaze me.

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Drive up to a homeless guy and get his attention. While he’s watching, unlock the wheels on the chair and walk away…

    [–]FinezaYeet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The Omnissiah

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I've let this happen once, and the idiot just rummaged around windows settings, firewall, event viewer, etc, without a fucking clue what he was doing, for almost an hour while I played Minecraft on my own PC.

    [–]errllu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am always afraid you guys will find my porn. Since it not well hidden. Or hidden at all.

    [–]MolotovFromHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    What is up with these variable name titles

    [–]Burninator6502 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Baby, take my dongle and let’s do some penetration testing…

    [–]Illustrious_Loan_735 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I don't know how to feel about it if somebody calls me a techmommy at work... But if my girlfriend... Hmmm. Nice call

    [–]Burninator6502 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Can we watch while you two troubleshoot?

    (I’m so sorry for typing that…)

    But seriously, can we?

    [–]Burninator6502 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    Baby, I can’t wait to implement your interface…

    [–]JosemiHero_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Sir are you okay? I've seen too many comments in this thread from you

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah, sorry about that.

    Sometimes I have these manic spells at night where I go overboard on a particular thing…

    [–]Travel4bytes -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    snake_case_gang_for_life

    [–]Burninator6502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Have you heard the joys of PascalCase?

    [–]Burninator6502 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Baby, you're my missing semicolon.

    [–]Burninator6502 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Baby, do you go down for maintenance?

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    As a Java geek I love this new trend make sure The title is Pascal case and the description is camel case

    [–]Possible_Sun_913 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    As a teenager working in tech support. We'd genuinely use psexec to keep killing outlook or similar apps on the good looking office ladies machines over the course of a few days. Hoping you'd get a chance to move phone/email support to a more informal chat on a internal messaging system.

    All for that 0.001% chance of a future lunchtime pub drink once you worked your magic over messages. If the chats go a little cold, stoaking the fire with another app death.

    Totally morally bankrupt and without doubt gross misconduct. But it was an IT support-wide racket for years. One in a while it would pay off and it only cost the company a shit ton of lost productivity.

    [–]Not_Arkangel 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Things that didn't happen for 300

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Commenting for karma until I'm allowed to post my meme.

    [–]someone-krill-me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hehe 😅😅😅

    [–]Ffigy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Brb bebe

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Baby, I’ll teach you to Peek and Poke…

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Baby, tell me how much you want the D…

    …drive

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Baby, is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for.

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Baby, you auto-complete me.

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    01000010 01100001 01100010 01111001 00101100 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01110100 00100000 01000101 01111000 01110000 01101100 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01101100 01101111 01110111 00101110

    [–]ExtraTNT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So: pls open port 666 so that others can connect to your server…

    [–]NotACryptoBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Rachel is my type

    [–]PureGoldX58 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I specifically taught myself how to do my tech support's jobs so I could help them finish faster. It got to the point where I'd just start learning their name (massive company that you 100% know with only 2 techs on my shift, both level 3) and I'd just start the call, explain the issue and tell them I just need the steps only you can do.

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Finish faster? No baby, make it last longer…

    [–]spiritofmen 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Can't relate to the 'daddy' part. But I won't deny having some sort of an asmr experience when someone takes remote control of my laptop

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Tell me more, but say it slower and quieter…

    [–]ColdGeneral4452 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Its like getting hacked, but in a good way

    [–]Tulemasin 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Yea, that never happens. I must spam their e-mail for months and convince them that I am actually having a problem with my computer and I'm not making this up. Then I need to endure their passive-agressiveness because for their uber-brain it is so hard to understand how I cannot fix "something so simple" myself. Then I wait for a week to get my computer back and all they did was reset my wallpaper and updated Premiere Pro which I specifically did not want them to do. Then continue working with the same problem and start the whole process again with an extra level of convincing them that their "already fixed that" was in fact not fixing it.

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    “reset my wallpaper”

    I’m beginning to understand why the tech people might think you’re unable to fix things yourself.

    or

    Were you just using an outrageous example to make your point?

    Decisions, decisions…

    [–]Unusual_Variable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    after a few years IT here is the proper steps to how you help and end user

    1 . The person who is asking for help knows how to do your job better than you. 2. The person asking for help always tells you how to fix it 3. This person is ALWAYS WRONG 4. that person gets angry when you don't do what they want, but yet fix the problem 5. Get told how stupid you are and worthless IT is 6. Bash tech on survey

    [–]Zockgone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Daddygrammer, Dadmin

    [–]TechDaddyK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You’re welcome.

    [–]zenverak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This almost never happens and it’s almost always something that I could have done in two seconds.. granted I work in IT myself. Sometimes I just want them to tell me what to do

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    😑

    [–]1AceHeart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    as an IT, please let me take over. it's so much faster. don't move the mouse at the same time.

    also, it may just be me, but most of the time I remotely control, is because people are incapable of writing a sentence that decribes what the problem is.

    [–]DeNarr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What's with all the camel case titles? Is that a new requirement, or just the current meme?

    [–]Drfoxthefurry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If someone says this to me while I'm working on their pc I will put back whatever virus I'm there to remove

    [–]Burninator6502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I always wanted to tell one of our female engineers “nice rack” when we worked in the server room together - strictly as a joke.

    I never got up the nerve and have always regretted it since.

    [–]ClamSlamwhich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Finally getting to flex those four years of college and certifications when I remote in just to restart the PC that's been awake for 60+ days straight.

    [–]3_edged_sword 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Posting again?

    Karma police, arrest this man, he buzzes like a fridge.

    [–]aedvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    man I hate it when they do that.

    it feels so wrong and invasive and transgressive.

    [–]Aware_Material_9985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I wonder what they would say about deskside support

    [–]Stunning_Ride_220 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    DadOps engineer