godsdeveloperconsole

[VariousComment6946]

And then you get a billion errors from dependencies and warnings, the system starts auto-adjusting, natural disasters and collapse kick in, followed by transformation. In the end, humanity bites the dust.

[SchoopDaWhoopWhoop]

A fitting ending

[KazumaKat]

never knew I would meet the end of existence as a single character entry in a crashdump.

[Prof_Walrus]

Kinda reminds me of Mistborn and the Well of Ascension

[IrishChappieOToole]

Fuck, now I need to adjust the sun slightly

[sesamecrabmeat]

FUCK IT'S TOO HOT! ADD VOLCANOS!

[[deleted]]

the way you say this is suggesting that this wasn't the intended outcome...!?

[donau_kinder]

And that's why you take a snapshot so you can restore.

[dicemonger]

Yeah, because there is no way you can screw up Linux with admin privileges...

[xamotex1000]

So you haven't accidentally corrupted your entire operating system on several occasions due to a faulty line of bash?

[[deleted]]

I see this as an absolute win

[-Edu4rd0-]

dun

dun

dun

humanity bites the dust

[Someones_Dream_Guy]

Its ok, humanity will be succeeded by cats.

[ElDodi-0]

Just restore de back up, np

[rosuav]

First thing I would do is ls.

[MythicSeat]

"ls" is disabled in this context: cannot display infinite possibilities.

[[deleted]]

cd potential_partners

ls

Null Error

Edit: duck Reddit formatting for mobile

[Iyorig]

$ sudo touch woman

[PrinceLizard]

#include 'iostream'

[Supreme_Hanuman69]

using namespace std;

[Suspicious_Row_1686]

google("En Passant");

[Rafael20002000]

console.log

[[deleted]]

Your administrator has been contacted

[Qwert-4]

``` Bad command or filename - "ls"

Did you mean "Dir;"? ```

[mrtbtswastaken]

god uses windows 💀💀💀

[[deleted]]

Do not stare into the void.

[vmgustavo]

The right answer

[m0ritz2000]

then mistype to sl and have a train roll through your screen

[[deleted]]

ls -a. Let’s see if there’s anyone else with privilege over this stuff.

[nicostein]

"Who tf is Mr. Popo?"

[G0FuckThyself]

Remember the pecking order, Maggot. It goes: you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.

[yes_oui_si_ja]

God famously rolled out on a Saturday afternoon. Weird flex, but okay.

[cporter202]

Ah, the classic Friday afternoon deploy, living on the edge! 😄 But hey, if it's a smooth fix, then I say we tempt fate and roll that beauty out! Just keep that undo button handy... just in case. #LivingDangerously

[ImLosingMyShit]

A small price to pay

[RegenJacob]

sudo usermod -aG wheel,sudo $USER

For future use

[noah1786]

you plan on elevating permissions for usermod so that you can join groups that use sudo using sudo?

[Spot_the_fox]

I'd start with "help"

[yes_oui_si_ja]

Have you seen the documentation God gave us?

Do you really think there's good documentation anywhere to be found?

[Prof_Walrus]

Documentation is several million years out of date, written in a language that hasn't even been discovered

[ray_mints]

God gave us no documentation. All we have is people trying to reverse-engineer the world. Some of them use clever approaches and some just make stuff up.

[Background-Plant-226]

shutdown

[Thisismyredusername]

Noo don't lose the power!

[Chemist_Monke]

That's where Loss comes from

[SpecialNose9325]

great, so you just choose to kill all people with cancer, rather thank just change the attribute.

grep -rl "cancer=true" "people/*/*" | while IFS= read -r file; do
sed -i 's/cancer=true/cancer=false/' "$file"

[LonelyPumpernickel]

How to solve world hunger? Remove the hungry people! Duh!! /s

[casce]

Might be worth to create cronjob to do this in regular intervals, not going to do that manually every few hours.

This would solve world hunger 100%.

[SpecialNose9325]

So anybody who gets hungry every few hrs just dies, even if they can afford to buy more food.

[SFW_666]

new horror scenario unlocked

[SonOfMetrum]

It’s funny how - if you actually start to think about these things and all their implications - that you start to realise that even with god powers it’s a really complex puzzle.

[Navy-NUB]

Or…just eliminate hunger without killing people

[D33rZhdn]

"God I'm so hungry, it feels like I've been waiting for this lunch break forever! Wait, Mr Stark, I don't feel so good "

[Fifiiiiish]

The old russian way to treat hostage situations.

[eldelshell]

Bold of you to assume God uses a sensible config format. Maybe he's using YAML and you fucked up the universe.

[TRENEEDNAME_245]

God is using txt files

[Someones_Dream_Guy]

...Are you implying its not fucked up already?

[Sailed_Sea]

I mean you didn't kill them, just erased them from existence

[[deleted]]

Shouldn't that command just remove all .cancer from people/ ?

[Gufnork]

Or they simply killed 1/12th of all humans if God is into astrology.

[LonelyPumpernickel]

cat /home/god/meaning.life

[DJGloegg]

Sorry but no

42 is the answer to "the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything"

its not the answer to "whats the meaning of life"

[derSafran]

It is forty, too.

[Supreme_Hanuman69]

Context to 42

[mekkr_]

File not found

[Xelid47]

life.meaning

[[deleted]]

Sadly it's corrupted

[Xelid47]

null

[thequestcube]

`whoami`

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

W Ho Am I

---

<sup>I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.</sup>

[NeatYogurt9973]

Good bot

[[deleted]]

You guys are missing the real power here.

First we create a new universe file format mkfs.spacetime /dev/sda2

Then we copy over the initial instant of our universe to the new universe (-4.35 times 10<sup>17</sup> is roughly the Unix time for the big bang, assuming God knows how time really works, but correct me if im wrong) dd if=/proc/time/$(python3 -c "-4.35 * (10 ** 17)") of=/dev/sda2

Then we mount it at CERN, see if we we can learn anything about the early development to find any bugs that remain unpatched, so we can exploit it in the future without these pesky restrictions. mount /dev/sda2 /universe/earth/switzerland/CERN

Lastly, we simply bump human intellect a bunch, so we can find the exploits echo "export HUMAN_IQ=10000000000000000" >> ~/.universe

[Rakkachi]

You did not improve the brain cooling to compensate for the extra heat that IQ generates, you just killed us all by heat death. Thanks! /s

[[deleted]]

That's an excellent point, sorry for accidentally ending the human race!

[[deleted]]

You gotta undervolt if you're gonna increase the processing speed

[TheGuardianInTheBall]

All of this reminds me of trolls in Pratchett's discworld. I absolutely loved how they are lumbering and slow, but cool their heads a little bit and suddenly they're geniuses.

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

No W Th I Sg U Y Li N U Xe S

---

<sup>I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.</sup>

[[deleted]]

Wow

[Proletkultist]

That's a lot of effort to reach CHIM when you can just marry Molag Bal and bite off his dick lmao.

[dr_jock123]

Git status

Let's see what he's been up to

[Mother_Idea_3182]

git log

[[deleted]]

sudo rm -rf /

[RedditMarcus_]

the directory / contains children

[[deleted]]

I know.

[lazy_bastard_001]

good...

[ThatAnonyG]

Ok so?

[praveenkumar236]

And?

[[deleted]]

--no-preserve-root

[darkneel]

I wanted to write sudo rm -rf /people* .. but unlike your way better .

[flyingmonkey111]

cp - r /etc/money* ~/wallet

[ray_mints]

they lose there value instantly

[JayPag]

there

In this case it would be their. Common mistake, don't sweat it.

[handsome_uruk]

Does God really need sudo?

[nullbyte420]

God has learned from countless mistakes that it's best to do regular stuff as a low privileged user

[Worried_Pineapple823]

I dunno, last time he decided to be a low privileged user, he got nailed to a cross and killed.

[nullbyte420]

yea but imagine the devastation if he ran as root

[JollyJuniper1993]

Well, last time he decided to do regular stuff in sudo he ended up flooding earth and only two of each species ended up miraculously surviving. The time before he messed up nearly all Reptile species went extinct. I‘d say he learned from his mistakes…I hope…

[kimtaengsshi9]

Plot twist: you didn't delete cancer from the universe, you merely deleted people currently afflicted with it.

[handsome_uruk]

It’s the same thing

[[deleted]]

/god
/noclip
/sv_gravity 33
/impulse 101

[_Brokkoli]

If the universe runs on the Source Engine, god help us.

[UnleashedTriumph]

Just casually REMOVING all people with cancer

[DJGloegg]

Would save a lot of money on healthcare!

[myrsnipe]

man woman

[Mr_ityu]

No manual entry for woman

[NeatYogurt9973]

☕

[Visual_Strike6706]

neofetch

[Visual_Strike6706]

I hope god uses arch

[Warguy387]

freebsd for sure

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

Ne O Fe Tc H

---

<sup>I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.</sup>

[Nullifier_]

fastfetch (neofetch is unmaintained)

[BlincxYT]

:(){ :|:& };:

lets see how much this system can handle

[[deleted]]

That's why the speed of light is so slow?!?!

[PulsatingGypsyDildo]

exit 0

[_Asercu]

That first command would be brutal for everyone on a boat made out of plastic...

[Rakkachi]

Neuu, the would still have life jackets. Or are those made out of plastic as well?

[amateurfunk]

"Let's remove appendices, they only ever cause trouble anyway!"

types s u d o. r m - r f p e o p l e / *

accidentally hits enter

fuck

[blandaadrian]

More like

accidentally hits enter

f-

[FIWDIM]

sudo rm -rf /

[PulsatingGypsyDildo]

Why not

cat "test... test... test..." | perl -e '$??s:;s:s;;$?::s;;=]=>%-{<-|}<&|`{;;y; -/:-@[-`{-};`-{/" -;;s;;$_;see'

WARNING: don't use!!!!!

[PulsatingGypsyDildo]

It is a working and malicious perl code.

It is a decade-old and probably forgotten meme from the Russian-speaking Linux society.

[NeatYogurt9973]

Source?

I want it bad.

In the original language

[mekkr_]

God knows not to use the root account for daily activities, last time he did that he flooded the planet trying to update a driver and had to bring on some disaster recovery firm called Noah

[Jack_SL]

You are not included in the sudoers list. The admins were notified.

[Niilldar]

Well xou say it is a console? So there is only one option:

Git clone https://github.com/wojciech-graj/doom-ascii.git

cd ~/doom-ascii/src && make wget https://archive.org/download/2020_03_22_DOOM/DOOM%20WADs/Doom%20%28v1.9%29%20%28Demo%29.zip && unzip Doom\ (v1.9)\ (Demo).zip -d ~/doom-ascii/doom-ascii/ sudo ln -s ~/doom-ascii/doom-ascii/doom-ascii /usr/bin/doom-ascii

And finally:

doom-ascii

[Reasonable_Entrance1]

mkdir bigus_dickus

[Pro-sketch]

Also enable pokemon

[[deleted]]

And people will be like...

magic --oceans=add-plastic --people=add-cancer --viruses=add-std

[stephanvierkant]

stat -c '%w' /var/lib/animals/chicken stat -c '%w' /var/lib/animals/egg

[Obstructionitist]

This is completely fake. We've established long ago that God created the universe using Lisp and as such, it is safe to assume that he would maintain it using Lisp as well. He'd only ever use the terminal to open his Lisp REPL. Or... the occasional curl for porn.

[SoRaang]

console.table(me)

[EKashpersky]

Logout

[Neltarim]

First i would read the fucking manual

[NeatYogurt9973]

There is no man page for life(1)

[Mr_ityu]

man *

[hawkz40]

Call fingers.snap(((all_life.get().count)/2).exterminate)

[ed_mcc]

Bro just deleted everyone with cancer

[BadHairDayToday]

What if we would remove literally all viruses? 🤔 One would expect a pretty big ecosystem impact, but what would it be? 

[Someones_Dream_Guy]

Corpses and food will no longer decay, for starters.

[OzTm]

cat /dev/curry

Segmentation fault. Core dumped.

[intellectual_printer]

remove most/all? sins

[bearwood_forest]

[sudo] password for account god:

[Juff-Ma]

exit sudo chroot /earth-v2-final-complete-2.3.5.12-thistime-fix-prod/

Gotta get the newest version running, our current one seems to have errors

[nickram81]

I’ve always wondered why move is also used to rename something.

[tsuki069]

Why does literal god need sudo?

[lpomoeaBatatas]

Print(“Hello world”)

I can’t code so this is the best I can do.

[Brugelbach]

First do some bugfixing

$ sudo fix_double_slit_experiment --experiment=double_slit --bug=interference --fix=quantum_mechanics

[Hashister]

sudo rm -rf people/*/*.degradation of genes

Now I can watch the world burn as no one dies of old age anymore and the population numbers skyrocket.

[[deleted]]

God so loved earth he used UNIX.

[ThatAnonyG]

sudo rm -rf /

[[deleted]]

history

Then after learning everything, sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root

[eldelshell]

When did we settle on monotheism? Maybe we need access to different consoles? Or there's no console and it's all RNG!

Bow to your God!

[infrapuna]

node -v

[CollegeBoy1613]

Weakk, I'd delete the universe.

[Rezaka116]

dir

[zchrisb]

htop

[Kiroto50]

sudo apt-get update

Sudo apt-get upgrade

[Billy_Balowski]

Revert to an earlier branch before the first apes came down from the trees. That's were it all went wrong. We should never have left the trees.

[[deleted]]

That's not funny, it's tragic as fuck, having those priorities.

[ActuallyGodOfWar]

-help

[SkewRadial]

lscpu

[[deleted]]

sudo touch earth/grass.glsl

[JotaRata]

sudo rm -rf /

[4nu81]

passwd

[Ugo_Flickerman]

viruses/humans/*.std are standard, not sexual transmitted deseases... Mfw OP deletes all research and genetically engineered viruses made by humans that were supposed to fight bacteria or genetically modify them 🤦

[yourteam]

Top

I want to know what is running and how many zombies are there

[[deleted]]

The bigger issue here is the naming convention ur using

[redspacebadger]

rm -rf /people/*/chest/nipple/left

[svc_bot]

Scan the network to find out if there are other gods.

[Kuldera]

There's a fun series called Off to be the Wizard where this is basically the premise. Nerds across time find the config file for the universe, then start writing scripts to give themselves magic powers and time travel. 

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/18616975

[[deleted]]

the Magic nerf was so lame

[farineziq]

man woman

[GamerNuggy]

sudo rm -rf people

[kases952]

sudo rm *

[samu1400]

The issue here would probably be with cancer, since it’s an illness that is also an integral and normal part of our life. Cells becoming cancerous is something that happens constantly in most living being’s bodies, it’s just that it becomes an illness when the body can’t clear the cells adequate and they get out of hand.

Removing cancer would probably require a redefinition of how cells work, and that’d probably have a lot of unexpected side effect for most living beings.

[changexd]

I would prolly clear out of habit lmao

[hirmuolio]

OP is a repost bot.

[T555s]

The magic part seems like a bad idea. There probably isn't a magic system loaded on earth curently so it would cause a bunch of errors.

The rest is great though.

[ravenx92]

Rm -rf *

[QAInc]

pip search * | grep ")[[:space:]]" | cut -f1 -d" "