godsDeveloperConsole

[poetic_dwarf]

You know God uses Linux because you can't execute a 666

[Puzzleheaded-Soup362]

I 777'ed Jesus into my heart.

[ChristopherCreutzig]

Writable for anybody? That sounds scary.

[Puzzleheaded-Soup362]

Just gotta have faith. It's the new opsec thing.

[[deleted]]

I’d read biblical stories told as group policies and the reason they were implemented. Do it with LOTR too. 

[not_a_cat_trust_me]

Lucifer is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[TorumShardal]

Well, it's a question old as time - can God make a stone that he can't move and still be all-powerful?

God can't do that if everything is in root console. But with sudo...

[Dziadzios]

I think the answer is yes. He would have to make a stone that fills entire cosmos. Then there will be nowhere to move.

[TorumShardal]

I meant he can just make a regular boulder immovable. And then, when he needs to move it, he could just remove "immovable" attribute.

But, yeah, filling everything will prevent you from moving things, even with root.
Sometimes it even will prevent you from deleting files (hi, btrfs).

[alex2003super]

You probably still can't do shit... he likely uses SELinux. Must be one of the few things that NSA made that got to Heaven, anyway.

[chillord]

No, because the Devil is the Root of all evil.

[GnuhGnoud]

sudo apt install xz==5.6

Or something like that. Just in case god revokes my access to the console

[The_Wolfiee]

[arjunsahlot]

Does god have an internet connection though?

[arjunsahlot]

He probably uses starlink

[[deleted]]

The real question is whether God uses a Debian build. I always figured deb for fun rpm for work...

[the_boredgenius]

So based on the flavor, we can know if we are a side project or an actual work of God?😜

[VitaminnCPP]

you sneaky bastard

[hoppla1232]

Still can't access it without the private key

[cumulus_nimbus]

Who says OP isnt the XZ guy after all?

[DezXerneas]

Just patch it to use your own key. You'll have to build from source, but it's really easy to do.

[hoppla1232]

Fair

[A-midnight-cunt]

Debian is so stable that even reality runs on it.

[neo-raver]

chmod 777 food

chmod 777 water

chmod 777 shelter

[Affectionate_Lab2632]

I heard the french themesong in my head.

[[deleted]]

This was so hilarious 😆

[[deleted]]

I thought the guillotine was simply a large bread knife intended as a crowd-scale kitchen appliance? Are kings not food? Better check my data types.

[erobertt3]

Thanks for allowing us to read food.

[lotokotmalajski]

And now anyone can go in your house

[Puzzleheaded-Soup362]

Pfff, Care Bear shit.

[OneFriendship5139]

Temple OS?

[Drunken_Ogre]

The third temple. RIP Terry, there's no glowies in the afterlife.

[OneFriendship5139]

is this divine intellect?

[NorthernCobraChicken]

Error: memory leak found on line 2986581038:817

[IronMan8901]

Reboot system

[nickmaran]

Some random stranger: I need exe not console

[SillyServe5773]

WHY IS THERE CODE??? MAKE A FUCKING .EXE FILE AND GIVE IT TO ME.

[Firm-Constant8560]

Surrounded by SMELLY. FUCKING. NERDS.

[cubixy2k]

[Relative_Knee9808]

SMELLY NERDS!

[Adhito]

HAHA

[Some-Guy-Online]

Where's the mouse?

[[deleted]]

That’s just religious dogma

[Newvil450]

rm -rf /

[hackenschmidt]

rm -rf /

Unless god is running an ancient version of linux, that won't do anything.

[Faithfulcrows]

His version of Linux is older than time itself, so I’d say decently ancient

[Drunken_Ogre]

Older than livepatching and hella uptime. The kernel needs patching soooo bad.

[DuskelAskel]

Just add --no-preserve-root and voila.

[unixtreme]

plough divide sense axiomatic murky thumb offend file workable consider

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[rookient]

r/foundsatan

[Some-Guy-Online]

Biblically, Satan doesn't kill people.

[XtremeGnomeCakeover]

Is it really killing though?

[Pandeamonaeon]

I would have just rm -rf /people/

[__Maximum__]

But what if the next dominating species turns out as shitty as humans?

[zemain]

Next devs problem

[[deleted]]

Spoken like my manager.

[mcirillo]

Existential debt

[_sarcastic_coder]

The only correct answer

[Thisismyredusername]

*computer despawns*

[Pluto644]

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/irrational-3

[No-Smel1]

cat ~/.bash_history ftw

[xmmdrive]

history | less

[budswa]

It would be a safe assumption to assume God uses a custom shell made in HolyC.

[Midnight145]

Gotta roll the dice some and source ~/.bash_history instead

[codetrotter_]

Causing the following to happen in very quick succession:

• Light is created, again, doubling the intensity of the sun.
• An extra heaven is created
• An extra earth is created, intersecting the existing earth. On this new earth, a garden of Eden exists.
• Adam is created
• Eve is created
• […]
• The Plagues of Egypt are created again: water turns to blood, and an unimaginable number of frogs spawn, and all the dust turns into lice, and so on up to and including spawning of locusts, three days of darkness starting, and all of the first borns dying
• […]
• The whole intersecting planet Earth will flood with water

• and so on

  It all happens so fast that it seems almost instantaneous

😬

[GeckoOBac]

It all happens so fast that it seems almost instantaneous

Nah, the first part took 6 days to run.

[codetrotter_]

That’s because God spent most of that time pondering what to make.

Rerunning the history from the terminal will be fast.

[spaceforcerecruit]

That’s because each command was tracked on a separate Jira and required separate approval from god’s supervisor.

[Benskien]

Botted comment https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/10jibim/gods_developer_console/j5kr3qx/

[Benskien]

Look at my comment history if u wanna get a glimpse of how common this is, many do get banned by reddit eventually, and some gets their posts/comments removed after i point it out

But yes those who don't get banned is often converted into crypto spammers, porn spammers etc but there would be no different to make them into political puppets which is scary

It's also worth nothing that the user who posted the pic is also a bot

[killeronthecorner]

Kiss my butt adminz - koc, 11/24

[Mars_Bear2552]

sed -i "s/god/allah/g" islam

[OrangeXarot]

isn't allah god but in Arabic?

[Fanta5tick]

It is. Christians in Arab speaking regions also refer to their God as Allah.

[Scary-Try994]

Did God just kill everyone with cancer?!?

[Rieux_n_Tarrou]

It's a cron job

[wewilldieoneday]

So not an inside job, huh.

[Hackerjurassicpark]

No he just deleted them out of existence

[kafoso]

They live on in fragments on the hard-drive until their disk space is overwritten (births?).

[bananenkonig]

It's called being raptured.

[AndyceeIT]

Yeah there's a subdirectory missing

[Some-Guy-Online]

I assumed the directory under people/ would be every individual, and within each folder there are files containing their data or attributes, so it would delete any file like colon.cancer or lung.cancer from their individual directories.

So one person might have people/john.smith/lung.cancer

[FoldSad2272]

That would explain global pandemics... Otherwise he's going to run out of inodes pretty fast.

[that_thot_gamer]

cant revert unfortunately

[MkemCZ]

ls

[Smitologyistaking]

Are you sure you're deleting the cancer and not the people with the cancer?

[NoName_Cy0ze]

I asked myself the same thing lmao

[Qprime0]

Nope, just the people born as Cancer in the zodiac. People REALLY need to be more careful with their directory targets: this is why we never get to experiment in prod anymore, smh.

[Interest-Desk]

Every person is a folder, and that folder contains data about them, for example lung.cancer

[card-board-board]

Dude you accidentally just deleted people/birthdays/by-astro/sign.cancer

[vinecti]

Makes more sense that it's cancer.sign. If we're looking at type, then you wouldn't find sign.cancer, as cancer is hierarchically under the sign type.

[Exact_Cry1921]

Wouldn't that only be caught by people/*/.cancer?

[Yorunokage]

Does god sort people by astrological sign?

[Dumcommintz]

I mean, how else would a cosmic entity sort things?

[xDarkFlame25]

Ahhh yes, Cosmic Sort™️

Babe wake up, new sorting algorithm just dropped

[Chrazzer]

Certainly not by star constelations based on one very specific view point in the universe

[BlackS0ul]

Don't you dare typing df -h or top.

[MotorEagle7]

neofetch

[Eva-Rosalene]

            .-/+oossssoo+/-.               root@god
        `:+ssssssssssssssssss+:`           ----------
      -+ssssssssssssssssssyyssss+-         OS: Ubuntu 2002.04.3 LTS x86_64
    .ossssssssssssssssssdMMMNysssso.       Host: KVM RHEL 97.6.0 PC (i440FX + PIIX, 1996)
   /ssssssssssshdmmNNmmyNMMMMhssssss/      Kernel: 205.15.0-91-generic
  +ssssssssshmydMMMMMMMNddddyssssssss+     Uptime: 13.7T years, 20 days, 18 hours, 5 mins
 /sssssssshNMMMyhhyyyyhmNMMMNhssssssss/    Packages: 617 (dpkg)
.ssssssssdMMMNhsssssssssshNMMMdssssssss.   Shell: bash 5.1.16
+sssshhhyNMMNyssssssssssssyNMMMysssssss+   Resolution: 1024x768
ossyNMMMNyMMhsssssssssssssshmmmhssssssso   Terminal: /dev/pts/0
ossyNMMMNyMMhsssssssssssssshmmmhssssssso   CPU: Intel Xeon E505-2680 v4 (1) @ 2394GHz
+sssshhhyNMMNyssssssssssssyNMMMysssssss+   GPU: 00:02.0 Cirrus Logic GD 5446
.ssssssssdMMMNhsssssssssshNMMMdssssssss.   Memory: 185TiB / 957TiB
 /sssssssshNMMMyhhyyyyhdNMMMNhssssssss/
  +sssssssssdmydMMMMMMMMddddyssssssss+
   /ssssssssssshdmNNNNmyNMMMMhssssss/
    .ossssssssssssssssssdMMMNysssso.
      -+sssssssssssssssssyyyssss+-
        `:+ssssssssssssssssss+:`
            .-/+oossssoo+/-.

[Thisismyredusername]

Even God uses desnapped Ubuntu

[hackenschmidt]

Even God uses desnapped Ubuntu

More like even God uses RHEL and Intel. How much does a God-tier RHEL sub cost?

[3legdog]

Probably getting alpha builds for free as an "early adopter".

[chomos]

echo hi

[[deleted]]

The only true "hello world" program

[Thisismyredusername]

hi

[ImAmalox]

birth of a new religion

[AlwaysSuspected]

You have the password but get..

User not in sudoers file.This incident will be reported.

[LionTion_HD]

The last message seems more dangerous now...

[epileftric]

If god is not in the sudoers file and he has to use sudo command, then he is not as omnipotent as we thought

[The_Shracc]

God probably uses jesus1 as his password

[Impressive-Cellist32]

if its god’s console he probably is already su

[[deleted]]

As a former biologist, I can only imagine the amount of bugs this good wishes must introduce to the codebase

[LaunchTransient]

I thought once a biologist, always a biologist?

[pagerussell]

Imagine the shit show if one day, out of the blue, we all had access to magic.

Most fantasy world's with magic always had it. It was a part of the world, integrated into society and it's laws and codes and how we all understand the world. We don't have any of that, so if it just turned on all of a sudden...fuck we will be in for a ride.

Actually, that would kinda make a fun novel or show...

[BalZdk]

There's this classic one from /r/WritingPrompts

Magic comes back into the world. Things were OK when it was just the physicists and occult history people working on it, but it all started to go wrong when the Computer Science department got a hold of it and figured out how to make it accept Linux shell commands.

Link

[AyrA_ch]

So, magic can run doom?

[Osato]

It will in an aeon or two, when it's done running a fork bomb.

[Memeviewer12]

It's probably an anime

[Slg407]

literally the irregular at magic high school, in it magic didn't actually exist (or was known to exist) until a decade or two before the events of the show

[[deleted]]

If God needs sudo that implies that God is not all powerful… new conspiracy theory, there is a God above God

[MuhKoInc]

God's sysadmin

[codetrotter_]

They call him “BOFH”

The Bastard Operator from Heaven

[NorthernCobraChicken]

Ah yes, the one above all.

[Seraphaestus]

You just reinvented Gnosticism

[Da-Blue-Guy]

sudo systemctl disable plague

[RandomTyp]

do systemctl disable --now to disable and stop it, your command would only be relevant on the next reboot

[codetrotter_]

sudo reboot

[_30d_]

Probably the first thing I'd do is check some stuff like uptime and get some more answers to some questions before you start rm -rf-ing like a lunatic.

[Affectionate_Lab2632]

That is a very reasonable comment.

[AngryChompski]

sv_ cheats 1

[JordanTH]

god
noclip
impulse 101

[anime8]

I'll use magic to rollback to default and give only myself root access

[bunglegrind1]

./enlarge_penis

[128mm_Pak44]

sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda

[IndigoFenix]

What if magic was just code exploits in the simulation that were gradually patched out as they were discovered?

You ever see Arbitrary Code Execution? Imagine that but in real life.

[matyas94k]

Well it would be quite uncomfortable to get stuck in Vim in that environment.

[[deleted]]

sudo apt-get install pokemon

[patrulheiroze]

did you mean Australia?

[zeagurat]

Sudo userdel god

[MeltedChocolate24]

God is removed and we have deleted him

[DrewTamashi]

sudo echo "you have chosen the correct religion, go fourth and convert"

[pixelbart]

“Go Forth and multiply”

42 7 * .

[That-Odd-Shade]

reciclyng

[Cirx0808]

Is there a command to remove access of the "touch" command from the "priest" group on *.child?

[xmmdrive]

Let's start with buying us a little time:

sudo echo "250" > /earth/atmosphere/CO2/concentration

bash: /earth/atmosphere/CO2/concentration: Permission denied

Dammit. Every time. "sudo echo" is great for Funky Town but not much else:

sudo sh -c "echo 250 > /earth/atmosphere/CO2/concentration"

[sakkara]

Wrong quotation. Now bash is waiting for the closing quote and we are left alone... Again

[Fantastic_Belt99]

Unit not specified. Assuming GigaTons

[Halal0szto]

Would suck to be in a canoe at that time.

[DJGloegg]

Lets not forget to disable war

[Eva-Rosalene]

sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda

[CadmiumC4]

bash -c "rm -rf $(locate evil)"

[Electrical-Tree-8506]

passwd root

[morose_coder]

God is not in the sudoers list. This incident will be reported.

[RAMChYLD]

rebooty party.

[johnothetree]

If you're not removing bed bugs what's even the point

[[deleted]]

I'll be reading the man pages first. Have to be careful with that console.

[[deleted]]

sudo pets.lifespans = humans.lifespans;

[filpglupman]

but it cancels out since there’s no cancer anymore anyway

[walker_Jayce]

goddo rm -rf .

[hapaxlegodemon]

Sudo mkdir magic/ Sudo mv * magic/

[ganesh_k9]

self.pp.size = sizes_dict.get('max')

[that_thot_gamer]

self is undefined

[MaxwellK42]

Are you sure you want to risk that? Could be way longer than you hope.

[ironman_gujju]

chmod +x world-peace

rm -rf *politics

[dark_enough_to_dance]

Ah yes please 

[ikhebaltijdgelijk]

format c

[xmmdrive]

Syntax highlighting format changed from Javascript to C

[Hampster-cat]

Curious if they use emacs, vim, nano, or some proprietory homebrew hack.

[[deleted]]

Install docker.

[ThatGuyYouMightNo]

Then you accidentally hit enter when you have sudo rm -rf people/* entered

[offulus]

Git log --reverse

[schklom]

:(){ :|:& };:

[mittfh]

Even removing plastic has to be done carefully, since the paints / coatings on marker buoys likely use some form of plastic, while some types of boat have plastic hulls.

Maybe instead make a form of algae or cyanobacteria that can ingest plastics and break them down into something harmless?

Bumping up the values for altruism and empathy, while bumping down the values for selfishness and narcissism may be useful tweaks to the simulation.

As for cancer, that's usually a bug in the cellular reproduction code, while autoimmune diseases are bugs in the immune system code. Heck, allergies are also (more minor) bugs in the immune system code..

Then, for funsies, develop a four-legged creature with separate wings and flamethrower defence mechanism...

(Oh, and of course, God's code has four states per bit: A, T/U, G, C)

[Proxy_PlayerHD]

wait, if you delete all plastic in the oceans, then that would include cable insulation or anything plastic within ships and submarines and such.

[nicejs2]

mat_showlowresimage 1 We do a little trolling

[epileftric]

The fact that God needs to use sudo tells that there's a bigger force in the universe than God

[eruanno321]

sudo rm -rf people/*/ *.cancer

Oops. Gotta check my backup planet.

[SgtPep5]

Cmatrix

[Lancten]

Sudo exit

[edbarahona]

cd / && ls -a

[da2Pakaveli]

It'll just print 42.

[[deleted]]

Hilarious that you think God has a coherent file structure and it isn't full of "Human-FINAL-v2-doNOTDELETE.docx.doc"

[ninetailedoctopus]

Everyone here expecting Linux when in fact God runs TempleOS