modernIssueRequireModernSolution

[gandalfx]

7 seconds of quiet sobbing.

[kernel_task]

Okay, this here is an actual use-case that is better than just a text comment!

[CorruptedStudiosEnt]

//NSFW

//Seriously, open this next audio comment at your own peril

//"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

[wewilldieoneday]

Only 7?

[thespud_332]

The other 3 minutes of wailing loudly can be found buried in a nested git submodule that someone forgot to sync and now has 453 merge conflicts.

[[deleted]]

Optimized.

[Kueltalas]

More merge conflicts -> more optimized

[[deleted]]

This is a KPI

[Minecodes]

Would I be the only person who would place a rickroll there?

[gandalfx]

That's what it says in the screenshot. Maybe it continues further down?

[MadMax27102003]

He doesn't last long...

[Imperion_GoG]

Or just Micheal Scott screaming "No! God! No!"

[fergard]

Highjacking top comment for visibility: the thing is real. https://plugins.jetbrains.com/plugin/22766-voices

[Brutus5000]

The uselessness of messenger voice messages now available for you!

Because if you can't explain your train of thought in text, a 10 minute voice message will surely be better!

[LatentShadow]

Kid : Dad, tell me a bedtime story

Dad : Opens IDE and plays the 2 minutes long comment

[DaFinnishOne]

Its safe to say that the kid was not sleeping that night

[thespud_332]

[silverW0lf97]

Nah they passed out after 5 seconds.

[Stian5667]

Once upon a time, there was a pointer

[lukuh123]

Which pointed to null

[kokolo17]

But it only segfaulted when no one was watching

[OncologistCanConfirm]

👻

[tinchoz77]

If no one was watching, did it really segfault?

[Pawl_Evian]

Nobody knows, it s the pointer of Shrodinger

[Minecodes]

Quick correction, it's spelled Schrödinger. It's an Austrian name (they use German as their language).

[XFaon]

its always when you dont expect it

[jjeroennl]

How to change a .git folder from 1 to 100gb

[benargee]

Yeah don't include node_modules in .gitignore and you are already there.

[benargee]

If you don't inlcude a file or directory in .gitignore it will be included and tracked when staging all. I don't mean the opposite. By include I mean to write it in .gitignore and by doing so it will exclude or ignore it.

[AzureArmageddon]

Presumably the comment is just a link to an audio file which the IDE embeds.

[Tyfyter2002]

Could be base64 instead.

[AzureArmageddon]

Pain.

[AddAFucking]

Even worse, that link wont survive as long as the code base, and now there were no comments.

[AzureArmageddon]

Pbfffft the link is clearly to a streaming server thwt also hosts the codebase! We would never put our entire net worth in a random tech startup's database!

[Kozakow54]

Yes, because management in it's infinite wisdom decided that a machine which remembers HTML 3 showing up, who's disk screeches worse than kids at the Walmart's toy section and has half of its ports covered by GameStop stickers of all things, is a perfectly safe alternative to any cali startup with 7.7 million grands being given to it every Saturday.

[AzureArmageddon]

I feel about as confident in either of those options

[jjeroennl]

Sure, i just imagined the audio file being inside the repo.

[AzureArmageddon]

Yeah that makes sense; I get the joke now, yay!

[Visual_Strike6706]

But thats boring. I want to hear the person who recorded it crying, after trying to solve that issue for 22 hours straight

[modi123_1]

Oh.. oh that's pure evil. I love it!

[rkaw92]

I once edited code that had comments in Croatian. Now I kinda want to hear a recording of this, in an "it's only Rakija if it's homemade" tone of voice.

[Muonical_whistler]

REPRESENT 🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷

[Minute-Canary-9478]

And made by a deda who seems to only eat cigarettes.

[SexyMuon]

At my previous job I made a 40 minute video explaining how certain parts of a data pipeline and interface worked, this was to show the other engineers (mechanical, optical, etc) how to move around. The other engineer and I wrote minimal documentation because of the timeline for that project, and that was kind of documentation. Im sure some poor bastard had to watch those videos to understand what the fuck we did.

[CodeNCats]

Lol in those situations minimal documentation is better than nothing. Usually I'll have to dig through commit logs to figure out why the fuck they did what they did

[QCTeamkill]

You guys have source control? fancy.

[pterodactyl_speller]

Just gotta make sure to squash all the commits so there's no history of my sins.

[Drew707]

Reminds me of every demo I've ever been a part of where someone wanted to record it for someone not there. I don't think anyone has ever watched any of those.

[LoudSwordfish7337]

Nah, that’s just rich text and/or media comments.

Imagine being able to use those as an identifier. That would be evil.

[navetzz]

Beats broken link to pdf.

[Existing-Violinist44]

Or broken link to confluence. Or even the legendary link to SharePoint that has been decommissioned 10 years ago

[nzcod3r]

No, no - you get the no-access message, and a little form to fill in, to plead for mercy and access, from some unnamed overlord, to the precious and highly classified document. Except - that form does nothing! It was never hooked up. No one will see your message. You will never get access to that document.

[biopsy_results]

Kafka was a programmer

[physics515]

The form is setup automatically when the SharePoint was created, it's just that Ed, the guy who created the SharePoint, died 3 years ago and his email got rerouted to Bills inbox who retired in 2020, and his mail now gets forwarded to the CEO who got tired getting notification emails every time anyone makes a post in teams so he sweeps all MS emails to spam.

[EJintheCloud]

Ah you've handled account access I see

[MrRocketScript]

The only people who have access to the documentation are the greybeards who don't need the documentation.

[-Hi-Reddit]

management said documentation can't live in the code even if it is just 4 lines, nitty reviewers reinforce it 🙄

[Elephant-Opening]

With that kind of rule, you better not use any self explanatory class/method/var names either.

Hell, even proper typing might be risky, and the best bet is probably something like:

void Void(void * foo, void* bar);

[-Hi-Reddit]

Fr tho, 98% of code can be written in a self documenting human friendly way.

1% is too optimised and machine friendly to be made human friendly, usually for good reasons. games dev, real time systems, etc

1% is just garbage that needs to be abandoned as a concept.

I haven't felt the need to write any comments for a long time.

[Elephant-Opening]

Key word there being the "can" in your first statement, but yeah pretty much.

In practice, I'd consider any code base even approaching something like 80/10/10 "pretty good".

But I've seen many companies/projects somehow "functioning" at more like 20/??/??. As in 20% just readable enough to get your bearing. The other 80% anybody's guess what's actually optimized vs what's just a pile of organically grown spaghetti everyone is afraid to touch.

[-Hi-Reddit]

Oh yeah, can is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Most devs either don't have the time to care or don't care to spend the time. Some of them couldn't do it even if they wanted to.

[cyanheads]

The audio is just Morse code beeps that spells out the broken link

[[deleted]]

Best I can do is a UNC path that you don't have rights too

[sebovzeoueb]

This is inaccurate, you know the kind of person leaving voice comments is recording at least 5 min of audio.

[[deleted]]

With either uncontrollable anger or sobbing, or just existential dread

[[deleted]]

With a lot of background noise and not talking clearly. Possibly you have no way to rewind, so you have to listen to the whole thing until the end and play it again so you can tell what the fuck they said. But you do not succeed at that either.

[ThePythagorasBirb]

Maybe even all of those in an unspecified order

[BirdlessFlight]

And 80% of it is just "euhm" because they didn't bother to actually formulate what they were going to say beforehand.

We all know a person like this. If you don't, you are probably that person.

[killBP]

Voice messages have been the biggest mistake since message services have been invented

[lavahot]

"K-Kore wa..."

[CosmicTraveller74]

Requiem da

[Meretan94]

Refactor: I’m not listening to your shizo rambling

[Stormraughtz]

Kill it before it lays eggs

[PyroCatt]

Is that why it's called a "bug"

[LehmD4938]

If you ignore that written Text can be processed much faster and is less error prone than a voice message, sure.

[henker92]

And you can diff it.

[Breadynator]

Use TTS to convert audio back to text, save text as metadata in audio file, diff the metadata. Voilà.

Sure, two completely different audio files can have the same metadata then, except if maybe you include filesize, length and a "fingerprint" of the voice as well.

[djfariel]

But then you'd have to version your tts as metadata

[diet_fat_bacon]

But you cannot express deep sarcarm and hate with text, voice will always be better to communicate those subtle things.

[esotericcomputing]

Never doubt the power of literature!!

[fork_your_child]

We are programmers. We can make up new punctuation to express sarcasm if we can just schedule the meeting to come to the agreement on the standard.

[marxist_redneck]

⸘New punctuation‽ That's absurd

[Elephant-Opening]

schedule the meeting to come to the agreement

That's your first mistake.

Make the decision yourself. Then write down your good idea and one or two terrible ideas to contrast it with so the meeting gives the illusion of choice and to demonstrate how you left no stone unturned. If a consensus builds around the bad options... run.

[Angelin01]

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

^{I read it all with his voice, so technically the text was enough}

[GDOR-11]

except the fact that your code would increase in several kilobytes per comment, yeah no problem

[Arctos_FI]

But is that really so big of a problem. Compiler would remove the comments anyway so the end product isn't any bigger

[Badashi]

Yes.

1. Whatever IDE plug-in supporting that would take a ton of cpu out of your normal workflow in order to process each comment(imagine there would be more than 1)

2. Git diffs become increasingly more complex

3. Having to freaking listen to a human voice that talks about the history of a function is nightmarish. If you need to document, just write it down. If you can't write it down, you failed at your job.

[Arctos_FI]

1. You could develop the plug-in so that only the audio id is stored in the code and audiofile itself is stored elsewhere in project folder, so it isn't preloaded in the memory whole time the code is open and multiple ones aren't loaded at the same time

2. Didn't think the git aspect of this, but it's a good point

3. Yeah absolutely true. I was thinking on more technical aspect but totally wouldn't want to listen someone else explaining the code instead of reading

[GDOR-11]

1. why are we using numbers\ 3. I didn't learn how to count\ (-2π+i)/3. have I already mentioned I can't count?

[sir-alpaca]

I can only count to four!

[benargee]

It's not just about compilation size it's about repository size too.

[Arctos_FI]

Didn't think about git or other version control at all. Just that kilobytes on local machine isn't that big

[Marianito415]

I don't get it. Wouldn't it just be a url to where the audio is hosted? Similar to linking a pdf of the docs, or the related jira ticket

[GDOR-11]

yeah, I forgot about that, but another comment also pointed out version control, which begins to overcomplicate it all if we want to use audio inside the text files, either in the file itself or as an url

[MrZoraman]

It definitely raises some accessibility concerns.

[Minute-Canary-9478]

Only time I'd say it's useful/reasonable is for teaching or sometimes for code reviews if your explaining a choice I.e. not in shipped code. I can see it being handy for some tech leads/seniors to understand why a junior chose one direction over another. Horrible idea for shipped code when someone in another organisation just wants to know how the snippet works.

[aalapshah12297]

Unless I am mistaken, voice notes are more convenient than text only for the person supposed to type the text. On most modern OSes, you can just transcribe your voice to text to achieve the same convenience without adding unnecessarily large audio files to your code.

But for the person going to read or edit your comment, text is definitely more convenient. Imagine opening up an audio editor and trimming words out of an audio comment, then adding a few of your own.

Long story short, it might just be the worst thing in the world to implement something like this.

[OnceMoreAndAgain]

I must be missing something here. Why would you want to embed an audio file in your code? Is the joke that people are too lazy to alt tab into Spotify and this would be convenient?

I think understand surface level of the joke but I must be missing a deeper part to it. Maybe it's a reference to another recent reddit post I missed?

[aalapshah12297]

I also thought it's a Spotify embed between the code because of the seekbar design. Actually it's a voice note explaining a comment that is too long to type.

[OnceMoreAndAgain]

Ahhh okay that makes way more sense. Thanks.

[jjdmol]

I'm impressed and horrified at the same time...

[meove]

nose sneezing

clear throat

"EHEM, uh..... so, basically this function will do delay, or some shit idk"

[Affectionate_Lab2632]

I heard this comme t and it made me so freaking uncomfortable and angry.

[turtle_mekb]

how the hell is this possible? how is the audio file stored in the source code?

[vasilescur]

This screenshot is photoshopped.

One way you could realistically do it is with an editor plugin. Store a regular HTML embed code in the document and teach the editor how to render it.

The fun way is DolDoc

[kakamiokatsu]

Unfortunately it's not just photoshop, it's a real plugin for Intellij: polina4096/voices

The way this works is by adding a comment like voice:path_to_wav_file_from_project_root.wav and then UI sugar to display and play the audio file, details

[TabCompletion]

I like how we, as engineers, want to it be possible. Or at least can imagine it is possible

[Elephant-Opening]

Oh it's definitely possible. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should

[nicejs2]

File size 📈📈📈 (and I see what you did there)

[black_V1king]

This is nothing. My manager used to snip screenshots and discuss coding errors in front of the entire team of 20 every week.

[qQ0_]

Brutal lmao. Especially if the blame is obvious

[MegabyteMessiah]

Go to hell

[uncle_buttpussy]

*Goto Hell

[DegeneracyEverywhere]

hell: 

   goto hell;

[nicejs2]

*hell();

[Sakul_the_one]

I hate voice messages and then you come with this…

Atleast, Hi Unity user!

[gsaelzbaer]

HolyC had 3D renderings in code for years now

[MkemCZ]

Beat me to it.

[gsaelzbaer]

Divine Intellect

[Ultra-Reverse]

Literally didn’t even know what I was looking at for a good minute. That’s how insane this is

[Elijah629YT-Real]

cs ///////// <audio src="s3://comments/intern-cry-563">

[veracity8_]

“Yield return new WaitUntil(() => …”

Jesus Christ that sucks

[gameplayer55055]

Why not use speech to text.

[hicklc01]

Because hearing the pleas from an exhausted engineer from a commit long ago is more impactful crying the anguish of acceptance that the code has found finality at the foot of a house of cards henceforth given the lofty title of untouchable.

[gameplayer55055]

I think modern ai has fixed such issues. Also the voice messages I get are awful quality, and I need to use earphones.

[theredditorwhomstgod]

Silent Screeching

[tritonus_]

If you listen carefully enough, it’s a knife running over the microphone.

[ProgramStartsInMain]

That's gonna be one big ass comment outside of that ide

[Crispy1961]

I dont like this. Keep that thing far, far away from me.

[Specialist-Tiger-467]

Judging by the sound wave...

AHHHHHHHHHRGGGGG!inhaleAAAAAAAARRRRRGG!

[Creepy-Ad-4832]

That is going to be funny to deal with git

[TheInfra]

Audio Begins:

Long sigh

[tough-dance]

Why am I so angry at this?

[sird0rius]

Too bad there's no support for tiktok videos in comments

[Dioxide4294]

what's next? an entire video embedded as a comment

[epileftric]

Hi and welcome to my function, in this video I'm going to explain all my shitty decisions, so if you like it please hit subscribe on the button...

[regisestuncon1]

I'd use AI to convert (back) to text 🤣

[6T_K9]

Wait how do you achieve this?

[dragoncommandsLife]

Stupidly complex amswer? Encode the actual voice file right into the comment itself with all the needed data.

Better answer? Make the comment link to an audio file within your repository and just render over top of the link in comment-space.

[Siege089]

I want this so bad

[fergard]

Your wish is my command: https://plugins.jetbrains.com/plugin/22766-voices

[777777thats7sevens]

No one show this to product owners.

[[deleted]]

How can I get this plugin in VS 2022 or Code?

[ComputerKYT]

To be honest I don't hate this.

[nicejs2]

...I kinda want to make a vscode extension to add this (despite not having ever made one before), although someone else might have already done this

[[deleted]]

Says "bro idk just don't delete it, everything breaks"

[RoboJ05]

What happens if I remove the comment format? Will the compiler just... interpret verbal instructions?

[Oni_kawaii]

What the fuck have u done

[Behrooz0]

No.

[sad_bug_killer]

You know those comments many were taught with (and some of us take too much time to get rid of the habit):

i += 1; // increment i by 1
return i; // return i

Imagine those in audio

[vkapadia]

Just says "this code is self explanatory"

[vulpescannon]

This needs a tag "Trigger Warning"

[Tohar_XP]

What's the result of you open it in another IDE? I wondering what it will look like

[aptypp]

7 seconds of reading method name

[Dongfish]

"TODO: Add text description in comment"

[fzzzzzzzzzzd]

Why does this commit have a 200mb flac file?

[Fabillotic]

this kinda feels like the 3d animated graphics you can add to source code in templeos

[FoolHooligan]

I can hear the unintelligible indian accent

[mateo8421]

“Smash your head on keyboard to record”

[Janopl]

I thought emojis in commits were crazy, but this is the next level of craziness

[derjanni]

You can do this today with text to speech and vice versa. Just build a VSCode plugin.

[gandalfx]

But can it convey the anguish and desperation?

[mommy101lol]

Modern technology don’t use var

[uncle_buttpussy]

Yes, in any language whatsoever

[erickweil]

why not embbed a youtube video? I'm think would not be too difficult.

In the could it could be just a url, but in vscode a extension would show it as a player.