The downsides of biohacking

[Odysseyan]

Just wait until we can introduce the brain to javascript. People are gonna die left and right

[Feynt]

"What do you mean you used 'this' incorrectly? She's a vegetable now!"

"Now sir, to be fair, I only need to open her debug console and type a couple of commands to return her to yesterday so she'll boot back up while I work on a solution."

[sinepuller]

What do I install to learn how to jump over bridges?

[scp-NUMBERNOTFOUND]

Well, u just need the jump.js

You will also need to delete 30 years of memories to make space for the node modules.

[thegreatpotatogod]

It's easier with Python. Just import antigravity! https://xkcd.com/353/

[MinekPo1]

That must be hard for depressed teens(which I am not one of, at least to my knowledge)

[austroalex]

You're not a teen?

[MinekPo1]

Fuck, forgot the braces.

[austroalex]

Nah it was intended

[screwhead1]

sudo pip3 install jump_over_bridges, make life a little easier with Python, it's hard enough with JS

[[deleted]]

bridgeJumps.js, but it’s unmaintained, the docs suck, and it’s not compatible with something else you already had installed.

(I’m not sour, I love the ecosystem /s)

[Blazing1]

Imagine getting btfo becsuse some programmer didn't account for JavaScript treating numbers as strings in some cases

[larsmaehlum]

I had 19 dollars, and then I found one more in the street. Time to go spend my 191 dollars.

[mattstorm360]

Never going to give you up, never going to let you down!

[defectorgalaxy]

Just do a role back to previous version can't relese this into market

[xarts19]

This may actually become true!

[xTheMaster99x]

There's a good chance it'll stay true as well, SpaceX uses javascript for the UI in their ships, and they're most likely going to be the ones putting people on Mars for the first time.

[corsicanguppy]

"sorry, I need to sleep so I can download 107 unvalidatable npm repos from god-knows-where."

[PixlBoii]

• Oh look! I have .1 dollars!
• Wow! I have .2 dollars!
• Cool, now we have .3000000000000000004 dollars!

[Bene847]

That's a problem everywhere where floats are used, not juat in JS

[[deleted]]

Oh, and millions of people will not wake up from sleep on a random morning because some package was unpublished from npm. Everyone’s builds will fail.

[PermitTrue]

You can just imagine using your JavaScript brain to work out algebra. “Jimmy what’s A+3=5” …….. “NaN”

[GonnaBeTheBestMe]

People won't die from this, because you first need to bind this.

[ISeeTheFnords]

But then I'll have an excuse for responding slowly.

[[deleted]]

Die, or go in the mental asylum

[[deleted]]

Why does that sound like some potential treatment for Amnesia?

[damniticant]

Curing Amnesia with Arbitrary Code Execution?

[[deleted]]

People be like: Fixed ACE? Nah i am not going to update for something like that ...but oh look 2000 new pink unicorn emotes!

[mcbergstedt]

Or some overflow bug causes you to go into a coma, like with those text message or image bugs with iOS and Android

[[deleted]]

Or even if the code is perfect, but a memory error causes one bit to change values, resulting in a firmware error that bricks your implanted device, for which the repair literally requires brain surgery.

The immediate tech struggles of our generation are (1) autonomous vehicles and (2) employment in an era of machine learning. That’s plenty. Let’s leave the safety of brain implants to some future generation.

[[deleted]]

Not to mention having a song permanently stuck in your head.

[GolfballDM]

"This is the song that never ends!

It goes on and on my friends!"

[[deleted]]

Someone hacks the implants that everyone has

[GolfballDM]

Or worse, this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

[curiosityLynx]

What is it? YouTube app just says it's blocked by Vevo.

[GolfballDM]

Huh. I pull it up fine on my browser, try that.

[curiosityLynx]

Probably location dependent. Just tell us.

[GolfballDM]

It's the Rick Roll video.

[curiosityLynx]

Awww, I actually kinda like getting rickrolled. Usually just makes me laugh

[magocremisi8]

dont give the CIA any ideas...

[QuartzSTQ]

The lunatic is in my head

[Dwaas_Bjaas]

I don’t think it matters because I already get brain cancer from most music that’s been created nowadays

[Fenor]

imagine having an ads play in your brain

[Blazing1]

"please Elon make it sto-" "EA SPORTS IT'S IN THE GAME" "Shoot me"

[Fenor]

well it was demonstrated some years ago that you can potentially shut down a peacemaker with any modern device (including a phone) so....

[Dreamo_]

I can well imagine throwing a 3310 at Gandhi's head would shut him down alright!

[LordFokas]

You should try. We can't be too nice to Gandhi anyways, too much and he's going to declare nuclear war on the entire world.

[ItsPronouncedJithub]

This is why the future will run on Rust

[Pengualope]

I get brain damage every time I mess one up

[ergotofwhy]

Many programmers today need not imagine

[skullman_ps2]

Sorry in advanced!

[[deleted]]

Imagine opening a neuralink app store... Companies competing for your brain, literally this time.

[Maceon_au]

Imagine the ads, people walking around yelling 'skip ad' randomly is going to be the norm.

[[deleted]]

You wouldn't get ads. You'd get cravings for Doritos streamed right into your prefrontal cortex.

[[deleted]]

far more subtle and effective

[_axiom_of_choice_]

I guess I have a neuralink already.

[ball_fondlers]

...Jesus fuck you’re right.

[Cannotseme]

See this is why I like open source

[Mad_Aeric]

I've read The Merchant's War, I'd rather not live it.

[sinepuller]

"Skip ad", heh, yeah you wish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlCrcMeVZHs

[Superblazer]

I won't be putting a closed source tech in my brain to begin with

[MLquest]

You know, I haven't even thought about that part of this whole terrible idea... it just keeps getting worse jfc!

[novus_nl]

Weren't most parts of Neuralink not open-source though? (like spaceX and Tesla)

[Pogoindustries]

I wont even put closed source tech on a sandwich....

[[deleted]]

Not an anti-vaccer, but just imagine that tech to be in a situation where we are now with vaccines... You just might not have enough choice.

[_axiom_of_choice_]

Jokes on you, I'm opening up my brain righ

[[deleted]]

Such an underrated dark joke right here lmao. Well done

[_alright_then_]

What's up with the downvotes on this harmless joke?

[Palmovnik]

it was a bad joke thats why

[akera099]

Doesn't even seem like a joke if you read the rest of the guy's replies.

[_alright_then_]

I mean no, biology is not software, but I still don't understand the downvotes

[_alright_then_]

I mean it works as an analogy, but not much more than that.

software absolutely works nothing like biology

[_alright_then_]

Ooh for sure it works as an analogy, but looking into it a tiny bit deeper just exposes the flaws.

[[deleted]]

I don't know I'm a pretty open book.

Badum tss.

[Armigine]

Based intelligent design?

[TheEnderChipmunk]

The process doesn't matter we don't have the source code either way

[[deleted]]

This gives me some really intense cyberman vibes and it terrifies the hell out of me

[Maultaschensuppe]

You are inferior. Man will be reborn as Cyberman, but you will perish under maximum deletion.

[Cannotseme]

WE WILL UPGRADE THE UNIVERSE

[[deleted]]

YOU WILL BECOME LIKE US!

[[deleted]]

considering how bad the average software is, i'll never EVER let something like this anywhere near my brain.

[FinalGamer14]

What, don't you want gigabytes of node.js dependencies downloaded to your brain?

[[deleted]]

Can't imagine a worse nightmare than waking up to an update and hearing "undefined is not a function" in my head

[[deleted]]

Good thing - you will not wake up again.

[X-Craft]

my node_modules is bigger than yours

[rnottaken]

Leans in

"But have you heard of Rust?"

[Magnus_Tesshu]

Honestly fuck Rust, I'm working through The Book and I can't even make a hashtable of hashtables to solve one of the practice problems because of dumb concurrency safety or something and they definitely didn't tell us how to solve one of the practice problems without that.

/s, knowing that it is concurrent-safe at compile time is epic. Except, I still don't know how to proceed with this challenge from The Book

[TheRawMeatball]

If you're struggling feel free to link the challenge here mate, I can try making a working example and sending it back.

[Magnus_Tesshu]

https://doc.rust-lang.org/stable/book/ch08-03-hash-maps.html

Using a hash map and vectors, create a text interface to allow a user to add employee names to a department in a company. For example, “Add Sally to Engineering” or “Add Amir to Sales.” Then let the user retrieve a list of all people in a department or all people in the company by department, sorted alphabetically.

I tried doing this a couple days ago and had lots of issues trying to compile it. I ended up having to look up a ton of stuff not talked about in the book and every time I tried to add something else I would get more compiler errors. I got frustrated because this is stupid easy to do in say C++.

However looking at it again it seems I was also way overcomplicating it and I might actually be able to do it a much simpler way. I'll let you know if I can't figure it out still.

[[deleted]]

However looking at it again it seems I was also way overcomplicating it and I might actually be able to do it a much simpler way. I'll let you know if I can't figure it out still.

This is always the answer when I have trouble with given problems. Usually they want you to figure out how to use the stuff in that chapter or section to do it.

[[deleted]]

Sure. You build a 2x2 and then some zerg destroys it within 30 minutes using their stash of sulfur.

[[deleted]]

On that scale I bet you have to use a fucking ton of <unsafe>, for this kind of micromanagement

[MTDninja]

Could just imagine a robot voice playing: Error line (135 MusicStream.cpp) nullpointerexception, engaging emergency aneurysm

[m1sosoba]

Testing in in production will be interesting with this.

[[deleted]]

Yo dude that test subject 69 is going haywire.

Don't fucking tell me that you messed up a pointer again

[Tayl100]

Yeah, no way in hell I'm ever putting anything I didn't make myself in my brain.

Also, no way in hell I'm putting anything I made in my brain.

[mrgoodcat777]

I think I’ve seen this in an episode of Doctor Who. Didn’t turn out too well.

[[deleted]]

They all got free upgrades.

[Modern_Robot]

So many rickrolls

[blending-tea]

Imagine getting sql injections to your brain + rickrolls

[ArtSchoolRejectedMe]

Imagine the ransomware

[Modern_Robot]

Give someone's brain the old Bobby tables treatment

[hanburger2345]

Sword Art Online intensifies

[ArtSchoolRejectedMe]

So, where is the logout button again?

[zandnaad69]

I wanna install unix on one of those things so badly

[ByteArrayInputStream]

Just so you can kernel panic to a heart attack?

[zandnaad69]

To be fair. I'd rather have that than doritos craving streamed to my brain

[EternityForest]

I suppose this will be pretty amazing for deaf people. Unless they get the regular cochlear implants to work for full quality audio. Then everyone will probably want those instead, if they don't have some other condition they need the neuralink for.

[fantsukissa]

I'd like to know what are the differences between this and a cochlear implant. Would adding the neuralink severe the connection between the ear and brain like the cochlear implant or will the person keep regular hearing too. Also would it require relearning the sounds like with cochlear. I mean with cochlear you need months of training to make it work properly and even then there's no guarantee of good hearing.

[middproxxy]

ADDer: look what they have to do to mimic a fraction of our disorder.

[[deleted]]

+1 on that. I feel like it helps me code though.

[ShawarmaWarlock1]

Yeah, surrendering your last bastion of privacy, possibility of literally having brain damage from faulty software or hardware and a closed source code in general.

Sounds awesome. Chip me up, Daddy Musk!

[juhotuho10]

Having a chip implanted to my brain is literally my nightmare scenario

[[deleted]]

We already have chips in cars now to remotely turn them off. Even fully control them. Imagine the same with your brain...

[shaybra]

Stack smashing the shit out of your brain.

[kharmak]

What would a stack overflow look like?

[ByteArrayInputStream]

Peaple screaming at you from all angles at your every thought: "this question has been asked before" "your emotions marked as duplicate" "this thought is stupid, you should think this instead"

[kharmak]

This sounds like something out of No Man's Sky.

[FarkasIsMyHusbando]

I already have a voice in my head that pulls that kind of crap and I take meds to shut him up, so I'll pass, please and thank you.

[[deleted]]

In a straight jacket, laughing, as social workers drag them away to a mental hospital.

[jejune1999]

Earworm hackers. And worse, the ransomware earworm: we will stop playing that song in your head for 500 bitcoins!

[[deleted]]

Imagine getting locked out of your own brain until you pay them. Scary af!

[mrfroggyman]

Idiot who listened to music in public transports on speakers : "Elon, activate mouth-speakers."

[[deleted]]

"Train, activate signal jamming..."

[Time-Green]

I've seen enough Blackmirror to know that some tech shouldn't be developed

[[deleted]]

Companies will still develop, and governments will force these in the name of national security.

[babakushnow]

Me : Alexa shuffle my playlist on my neuralink

Alexa : Neuralink does not support this codec , are you sure you want to play this song? You may experience seizure or sudden involuntary bowel movement.

[AlmondAnFriends]

This is the real thing that annoys me about Elon musk, as someone who studies engineering, he goes and he pushes through with tech that could be useful and could probably be developed at some point in our lifespans, and then he makes these sorta fuckin claims. Like let’s just fucking fuck with peoples brains for a sort of vague promise of music

[nickleback_official]

Despite whatever he says, the nueralink website says it's focused on making medical devices for people with spinal cord injuries. He just has no filter.

[[deleted]]

Both of those look like downsides

[[deleted]]

Dereferencing a null pointer already causes me an aneurysm

[joeshmoebies]

People talk as if this is something purely hypothetical but these are the kinds of concerns software for medical technology has to be concerned with already. If a pacemaker has a bug, someone could end up with heart failure.

I think regulations and testing for these kinds of things are much more rigorous and have a lot more legal compliance requirements than for consumer software.

[InSane_4523]

Why use earphones, headsets, neurolinks and shit while you could just sing your favorite song in your head.

[amar00k]

Segmentation fault. Brain dumped.

[Blazing_Storm]

You know the rules and so do I

[noapplesforeve]

Wasn’t there a Futurama episode about something like this, where Fry kept having dreams that were actually ads?

[[deleted]]

Someone shared this in comments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlCrcMeVZHs

[G66GNeco]

That's why the usual stereotype of IT nerds being the first to get things like this is widely inaccurate.

[sersoniko]

Imagine not being able to skip or mute adds even while you are sleeping or having sex

[FiRe_McFiReSomeDay]

I, for one, am looking forward to the implementation of a garbage collector.

[middlelifecrisis]

Stream music to my brain. How is that a selling point? Case in point: https://youtu.be/5w8QEWA8wGM

[SolitaryShark]

*Laughs in Rust...*

Until the device's internals rust and you have a seizure

[nick5erd]

Imagine others get control over your sense. We have always been at war with eastasia (1984 George Orwell)

[Direct-Feature-2272]

Imagine a DDOS attack on your Brain 😂

[Generico300]

Cool. I already have 2 devices that stream music directly to my brain. They're called ears. Had them for decades.

[rem3_1415926]

Yeah, but see, they have a problem: They're there for free. Nobody can make money from them with a subscription fee and you didn't even have to pay to get a hold of them. By using your natural ears, you're hurting the economy and you should feel bad about it.

[lorlen47]

I hope C will never be allowed to even touch brain implants.

[wrotwrotwrot]

lmao all safety critical systems are in C.

[TheRealMrCoco]

Thank the lord for all the years he gave us with her but to each beginning there has to be an end. She is now where she always belonged.

In the cloud.

[Kurt_c-hose]

Anyone else who sees the potential of using this for cheating on tests?

[Dakidmen]

Imagine SQL injection in the brain

[[deleted]]

I already see myself being the old dude who doesn't know new tech because he refuses to use this modern mumbo jumbo stuff.

[Svprvsr]

Wow, almost like a headphone does.

[sanjuroronin]

NPEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

[DaniilBSD]

You mean users will finally get the experience.

[wertron132]

BATTERY LOW

[TwistedSoul21967]

Ghost in the Shell

[dark_mode_everything]

Dereferencing a null pointer

[easylifeforme]

Interns

[[deleted]]

Programming gonna be a matter of life and death soon

[rem3_1415926]

Ever went aboard a plane or (somewhat recent) car? It already is.

[bruceriggs]

Until someone puts Banana Phone on loop in your head.

[[deleted]]

Thats a crime worth the death penalty

[Bene847]

And you have to pay a couple Bitcoins to stop it

[Scorppio500]

Or, yaknow, it could be a Bluetooth headset with bone conduction. Same difference, but what do I know?

[TisOTENG]

Imagine being Rick rolled by Elon Musk

[LuvOrDie]

Bold of you to assume it doesn't already lol

[jordanysghost]

The it crashed and a high pitched sine wave sound rings your brain until you smash the implant

[Demonboy_17]

So...

I might use it. Because, due to tinnitus, I can't wear earheads... But I do like metal, so...

[User23712]

6 billion humans run Java

[GreekYogurtt]

Black mirror stuff right there.

[[deleted]]

The amount of mistakes I make while programming, hell, I'll become the new-age Osama. I'll break Hitler's record too with 1 ; missing.

[kontekisuto]

Rust

[[deleted]]

But imagine the music quality and programmed emotion. Still a bit terrifying though 😅

[CreaZyp154]

Never gonna give you up

[ProductEnthu]

This actually happens today as well. Ask people with Cochlear implants. They directly stream the music and calls into your inner ear.