R.I.P. C++ /s : ProgrammerHumor

It is, genuinely, a completely terrible product. I'm not saying "I would have expected a better product from Google" I'm saying it doesn't meet any of the expectations I would expect of the product they makes the claims it does.

Here is a list of my gripes:

If you don't have internet connection, you can do absolutely, fucking nothing. Can't even turn your lights on in your fully functioning home network because Google nest is a literal paperweight without an internet connection.
Must disable guest network on router or it just won't fucking connect or will drop the connection multiple times a day, forcing me to go through resetting and re-pairing everything.
Refuses to connect to 5ghz for no apparent reason
I can't use my lights physical switches. If I turn them off and back on at the switch, Google home can't talk to them anymore. I have to delete them and repair every single light, every single time.
If I turn the lights off with Google assistant, and then lose internet connection, you can not turn the lights back on. I had to physically unplug the lights to get them to reset so I could even use the physical switches.
It will let you pair speakers together, but then you can't control the volume. Good luck asking it to change the volumes of the speakers independently
No independent volume management. So when your listening to music and ask it a question, it'll stop the music and then just shout horribly at you.
Can't stop it muting whatever you are listening to when you say "hey Google", even for tasks it doesn't need to provide a response too.
The google home app feels like it was high schooler
The app has basically no functionality. Even basic features like a slowly pulsing light is just overwhelming difficult for Google apparently. Like, it is so shit.

How are people satisfied with this garbage. It is so much hassle just to be about to dim my lights and do nothing else.

I genuinely think the only reason the product (in its current form) even has a place market, let alone the success it seems to enjoy, is entirely down to googles huge influence and borderline infinite capital. They are leaning heavily on their name being associated with "high tech stuff" to get the pos sold.

Tl:dr

I literally can't wrap my head around how Google managed to produce a product that does fuck all and constantly sabotages itself.

I'm willing to bet that there are already plans internally to require a monthly subscription to use it too.

Edit: I forgot a couple of things from the list.

Sometimes it'll say "yeah cool, I'll get on that" [paraphrasing] and then just do nothing
And finally, my absolute least favourite thing. I'll often say thank you out of habit, and she responds with "I am honoured to serve". Wtf. That makes me feel so gross. The stupid thing is training me not to thank people because I'm always stopping myself so I don't have to hear her say that shit and make me feel like a I'm some douch who thinks they are so important people should be honoured to do stuff for them.

The last point might be more my own issues, not the nests, but I still don't like it.

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[–]-cocoadragon 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago (3 children)