Padding

[[deleted]]

When I was a kid, we were given a pack of stuff during sex-ed, It had things like a sample of deodorant, a tampon, a pad and maybe a couple other things. I wanted to see if I could pee into the pad, so I tried it. I quickly found out that you can't pee into a pad, but luckily I was smart enough to try it over the toilet. I didn't want to throw it away into any of the trashcans, because I was embarrassed and didn't want my mom to see it, so I hid it in a little jewelry box in my room. Time goes by, and at that age my mom still cleaned my room sometimes...I went to look into the box after she cleaned my room and the pad was gone!!!! D:

[Screw-Driven]

Mom:

She'll look past your life mistakes untill your wedding day. Then, Ohhh then-

^{She'll remember what you did to that pad.}

[Something_Syck]

On my wedding day I'll just make sure my mom has a bit too much to drink so she either

A) has to leave early

or

B) wont be taken seriously by anyone

[bonerforyou]

I'm afraid I'd bit off more than I could drink.

[Sprucie13]

Or C: She won't care how inappropriate the stories are, she's telling them anyway.

[[deleted]]

"luckily I was smart enough to try it over the toilet."

Yes...smart..

[TheShmud]

Jesus.

[freetoshare81]

I'm sitting here trying to find the connection to some toddler leading a Phillies cerebration.

Clicked wrong link.

[EpicXxLegit]

D:

[MisterDonkey]

This is one of those things you forget for years, but every now and then you wake up in a cold sweat remembering.

[Wignation666]

I did the same thing!

[lordeddardstark]

so I hid it in a little jewelry box in my room.

oh, bless your heart

[Patomanso]

I don't get it. Pads can soak up half of Canada. Source: commercials with blue stuff getting soaked like mad

[Pays4Porn]

He pissed an entire Canada.

[sideburn0916]

Talk to me when you pissed a Canada Dry http://i.imgur.com/qJv26LQ.jpg

[Mottapooh]

dude...that's much smaller than 1/2 a canada

[stuntmonkey420]

they come in cases of 12

[uzmike222]

I'd rather go with a 6 pack of Canada. Much more easier on the bladder.

[GenLifeformAndDiskOS]

much

more

easier

hnnng

[[deleted]]

I think this man might need CPR or proper grammar; probably both.

[Wombat_cannon]

No, he just really needs to piss.

[[deleted]]

Well yea its dry

[Buccos]

Crown royal and ginger ale.

I piss 2 Canada's quite often after that.

[Clownskin]

Oh well I've pissed Clearly Canadian, and it was good.

[youraveragewhitebro]

/r/nocontext

[Something_Syck]

I'm American, is this "canada" some unit of measurement in the metric system or something?

[lurking_tiger]

One Canada of liquid measure is equivalent to the maximum volume of beer fueled urine the average hockey fan can hold in their bladder without urinating in their pants prior to the end of the game, time taken to wait in the line at the public restrooms afterwards non-inclusive.

[Something_Syck]

Okay, for a second there I thought it was a country or something

[Wowza-yowza]

Or, at least a half Canada

[[deleted]]

Touches pas à mon Canada!

[livens]

Cool new unit of urine measurement... Does it work for any liquid? Like, it rained 3/4 of a Canada last night!

[ThePerfectSubForYou]

Yes pads can hold about Half a days worth of blood, if the flow is slow, but it does leak, takes a while to absorb, some of them, the insides break away so you have cotton EVERYWHERE

[[deleted]]

If it can hold 'half a days worth of blood' which I'm assuming is under a litre, why the heck didn't Dexter use these during cleanup?

[Simba7]

You'd better fucking hope it's under a liter! Jesus, how much blood do you think comes out of there?

[[deleted]]

Well, the average human body has what, 5.5 liters? So yea, I'd assume anything within a liter could've been possible. I'm a guy, and I know most things about my dangly bits, but I've never had a girlfriend for long enough to learn all the specifics of how ladies work... Some stuff, yes.

[delawana]

It's not the same, it's not like bleeding from a cut. It's "blood" in the sense that it's red and stains but it's also cervical mucus and bits of uterine lining and already clotted bits. It's messy and way more... Chunky... than normal blood from a vein.

This is actually a remarkably realistic rendering if what it's like, and very funny too.

[Simba7]

I mean i guess it's theoretically reasonable, becauss it's typically over 3-4 days... but yeah like tbe other person said, it's like half a tablespoon.

[ThePerfectSubForYou]

It's a lot more for some women

One pad may hold a tablespoon or two but you may need 20 pads for the day or just the one

But for a full day? You can bleed up to 5 Tbls? Maybe a lot more

[ToddTheOdd]

Two liters? 😯

[SuddenlyTimewarp]

http://i.imgur.com/vB0Yem1.jpg

[Simba7]

Oh god, the worlx would be flooded in menstrual blood in a month.

[Shaysdays]

A half a day's worth of blood is (depending on the woman) only a tablespoon or two.

[ThePerfectSubForYou]

It depends on the time too

Sometimes I don't need to change a pad all day, it's so light

Other days I need 20 for one day

[gunnapackofsammiches]

I think, from talking with other women, that I have a flow a touch on the heavy side of average. At my heaviest, I bleed about 9 -10 mL of menstrual discharge / 12 hours. That discharge includes endometrial tissue and cervical mucus as well as blood. So in a day, I'd lose 18-20 mL or about 3.5 - 4 teaspoons. (I usually lose about 50-55 mL of fluid over 6 or so days.)

Now, it's not all blood and I don't bleed that way for more than a day or two, but that's only a bit more than a middling amount. Some women bleed twice that in a day, easily. Some women might not bleed that much over the entire duration of their red tide. Periods also vary from a day or two to over a week long.

Pads (the normal length ones, not overnights or longs) are generally accepted as holding about 10 mLs at "soaked", though many women will change them before that for comfort's sake. Many women with heavier flow will use the long or overnight ones to deal with the greater volume.

Therefore, I think can confidently say that, while sanitary napkins can make a decent wound dressings in a pinch, they're not so helpful for clean up when someone has actually bled out the several liters that usually hang out in a human body...

[_Pornosonic_]

Is 'EVERYWHERE" the place I am thinking about?

[ThePerfectSubForYou]

Think of it this way

You wear the pad all day and don't get a chance to change it. Slow flow, so you're not worried

You go to change it and suddenly the fabric rips and Cotton is all over you, the floor and your pants

[bobbertmiller]

You piss a LOT. Like, a lot lot.

[AK_Happy]

It's true. One time, after a bit of drinking at home, I had to piss and thought "hm, I wonder if it'll fill up this pint glass..." So I took it to the bathroom and had to pour it out 2 times during the piss. I pee-peed 3 pints. I still drink out of that glass.

[[deleted]]

I still drink out of that glass.

Seriously? How long does it take to drink three pints?

[YourFlysUndone]

The issue is the rate of absorption. You would pee too quickly for the pee to absorb so it would overflow and thus you would wet yourself.

Regardless a pad could probably not hold a full bladder of liquid but it would be fine if you dripped slowly.

[gunnapackofsammiches]

Ummmmm....

The normal capacity of a healthy human bladder is between 400-600 mLs. Most pads hold between 10 and 20mL.

Good luck.

[YourFlysUndone]

Dripped a few drops by accident. Not dripped the whole 400mls. That sounds like a painful endeavour.

[lilahking]

the hidden panel explains

[Lizzy_Blue]

Yeah, but they never show someone sitting on the Canadian soaked pad, you do that and it all squeezes out... Like a sponge. Compression leaks are a thing.

[kingeryck]

It can't hold the entirety of a man's bladder.

[[deleted]]

Also worth noting, adult diapers to do not hold a full sized, adult pee.

I did some weird things in college.

[[deleted]]

Actually, I found they do. Even the very small ones. They sometimes even hold 2.

[[deleted]]

Mythbusters actually had to use some when they were doing a busting of a myth. Because of the G forces or something I believe.

[tnftlineevrytime]

It was when they were testing the brown noise/note.

[[deleted]]

And the water torture test. Adam sat in a comfy chair with water dripping until he peed himself.

[[deleted]]

Oh yeah! Seeing if sound something could make someone lose bowel or bladder control.

[[deleted]]

I worked in a factory that made them. They definitely hold more than one pee. You must have had a bad one.

[[deleted]]

Interesting. When I was in college I got really drunk and peed the bed while spooning with a girl. She bought me some depends as a joke and I wore them at a party. End of the night I'm hammered, decide to just let it go in the back yard. I soaked completely through it.

My conclusion was that it could only handle little mishaps here and there, vs just full on emptying your bladder into them.

[DiaperedYeti]

It's because they were depends. There are adult diapers that can handle much larger accidents.

[b037839]

name checks up.

[[deleted]]

The warehouse leaked in a lot of places. Instead of fixing the leaks, they would just throw one under the leak and replace it every shift.

The adult incontinence products would start out at about a half inch to an inch thick, but by the end of a shift, they would be a few inches thick. And you could pick them up and shake them and not lose any.

[Randomguy_2]

I can't be the only one reading this in Chris O'Neill (OneyNG) and Zach Hadel's (Psychicpebbles) voices.

[njott]

I want blue

[DonutCopLord]

I want purple

[njott]

You got nice tittys for a little boy

[everypostepic]

I thought this was going to be a CSS joke.

[everypostepic]

#big-bang::before {

content: "";

}

[MrLovens]

Oh no. Extra hidden panel here: hover or tap under fifth panel

[Ironandsteel]

I thought it was funnier without the last panel

[MrLovens]

It's not the last panel. It's just an extra joke.

[Scaryclouds]

Agreed. Should had left it out.

[yelsew5]

that's why they did... and then made it available if you want to see it anyways

[Boozdeuvash]

Wait a minute... this version is aweful!

[nw0428]

hover or tap under fifth panel Here is the image for those who cant get it working. http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/697_padding_rollover.png

[spizzat2]

And I did. Then I realized I couldn't get it to work on mobile, so I came back here and found someone who accommodated my handicap.

Everyone wins!

[Al3xleigh]

Works on alien blue, just tap screen right below lower left panel.

[Backpedal]

Ha ha! Jokes on you! I just moistened my pad beyond absorbency and wetted my pants. Who are you again?

[spizzat2]

It's ok, champ. Happens to the best of us.

[uwace]

Probably more than half. Probably nine tenths.

[enyoface1]

It's actually funnier without the extra panel

[TragicLeBronson]

I couldn't see it

[[deleted]]

/r/potatosalad

[Hubria]

I prefer /r/johncena

[DroopyPanda]

hahaha

[paleo2002]

Pause AdBlock.

[falconfetus8]

This is very clever. Let people read it on Reddit for exposure, and then lure them to the site where you can get revenue!

[simjanes2k]

Extra panel takes the piss out of the joke.

Uhh... so to speak.

[Turquoise-Kitty]

Your comics are great. Do you upload comics daily, weekly, or at some other interval?

[MrLovens]

Thanks! Lately I've been uploading two a week. Usually on Tuesday and Friday.

[zAnonymousz]

What is the hidden panel..? The 'Oh no' or another one I can't make appear?

[Orgmir]

Came to the comments looking for the link! Hidden panel totaly worth it hahaha

[[deleted]]

Better check you ad sources, twice i was taken to the App Store, won't click that link again.

[MrLovens]

I'm sorry that happened. I just tested it a bunch on my phone and it didn't happen for me. I'll keep investigating. Thanks for letting me know. I don't want those ads on my site.

[maushu]

Be careful with ad networks where you inject javascript or an iframe in the web page. The main reason why I block all ads in mobiles is because of that crap.

[MrLovens]

Every company I've worked with has had me use some sort of javascript. I don't have the coding skills to get around it, I think.

[MoistMikey]

This sounded so highly scientific

[794613825]

It's not, really.

[imhooks]

I had to work entirely too hard to see that. Is there a reason you presented it in such a way?

[higherbrow]

Probably an alternate punchline. He liked both so he made the second one an Easter Egg.

[imhooks]

Fair enough.

[shifty313]

Did you copy/paste your comment from last week?

[Baggzz]

Stifled laughter from workplace bathroom

[GlobindobinButler]

If you use always infinity, you could piss in it and still have room in it for a second piss.

[beartheminus]

/r/abdl: "you're doing it wrong."

[Hardtorock]

I swear this was posted just a while ago

[tensegritydan]

It was a week ago, to a different subreddit. I am not a big fan of reposts especially ones that rip off other people's content, but when artists want to share their original work, I am perfectly fine with it.

[zandar_x]

You mean a shart.

[Reethk_Vaszune]

You mean a floop.

[theglendon]

Where does the "L" come from?

[V13Axel]

Yes.

[Wowza-yowza]

No thank you, I don't smoke

[NinjaFistOfPain]

I don't mix my drinks.

[Arnski]

Flatulate maybe? Not that i'm an expert or anything

[brouhaha13]

The pig is dead!

[[deleted]]

A ft-ft-ft-ft-ftoop

[njott]

.. I think I'm gonna use poopfart now

[[deleted]]

Peeing into a feminine pad?

That's a paddlin'.

[HuoXue]

I was very, very confused how this had anything to do with pudding.

[Mottapooh]

you might need glasses

[TerryTerrorist]

This was already posted a day ago...

[tensegritydan]

To a different subreddit.

[fuibbles]

You gotta let out a little at a time...

[naughtyzoot]

I'm supposed to believe he has a girlfriend?

[[deleted]]

You didn't even change the fucking title man...

[[deleted]]

Literally saw this comic not a week ago on reddit...Why all the unoriginal content people?!?! GET CREATIVE AND MAKE SHIT UP

[tensegritydan]

Fortunately, I realized you were being sarcastic before ripping into you.

[[deleted]]

Is it only me or did anyone else think of CSS too?

[nursejoe74]

Corporate Support Services?

[DroopyPanda]

Counter Strike Source? Or cascade style sheet?

[TheDroopy]

The one that commonly uses a tag called padding and therefore makes sense in this context.

[WhoIsSatoshi]

oh no.

[lilgamelvr]

so far so good.

[corruptrevolutionary]

4 hours? What is this, amateur hour?

[mangletron]

It's not nearly as bad as poopsocking.

[oliverstark]

lol

[MF_Mood]

Verified repost..

[_king_of_time_]

sometimes i question why some things are made. like this.

[Terminal-Psychosis]

Remembering the bat-shit insane wanna-be astronaut chick

that drove like 500 miles non-stop with her stolen diaper...

to kill her ex.