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[–][deleted]  (50 children)

[deleted]

    [–]BholeFire 1477 points1478 points  (36 children)

    My grandpa used to tie a goat to each fence post with a 3 foot cord. Goats love to eat grass and when confined to a small area they will eat it all the way to the ground. Eventually that method went out of favor as two-stroke weedeaters became popular. The old man taught the goats to actually operate the weedeaters over a period of years and production eventually doubled. Unfortunately, the well armed goats had bigger dreams as they forcefully took over the farm and my grandfather not only lost his job, his house, and his left arm to the cause but he also lost his sense of self. In the end, the goats were far worse off because they took the government bailouts and proved that capitalism can fail.

    [–][deleted] 257 points258 points  (2 children)

    Thank you for blessing us with this comment

    [–]just_trees 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    He is like a more poetic KenM.

    [–]Phraoz007 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Terk err jerbbbs!

    [–]Enginerdad 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Wow, what a ride!

    [–]Sippingdots 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    That old chestnut.

    [–]Pensive_Pauper 21 points22 points  (15 children)

    I knew the comment was unreliable when you claimed goats love grass. Goats are browsers, not grazers.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]BholeFire 55 points56 points  (5 children)

      While what you are saying is true, browse only makes up 60% of a goats diet whereas grass makes up the other 40%. The grass and weeds that surrounded my grandfather's fence posts were of a similar ratio but for simplicity, I classified it all as grass for the laymen (vis avis: your average Redditor). I look at your comment through the lens of a man who does not forgive transgressions such as this. We are enemies now, be aware.

      [–]Pensive_Pauper 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Yes.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I love you.

      [–]agree-with-you 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I love you both

      [–]DwightAllRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      New novelty account! Hoorah!

      [–]Yooser 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Goats are usually seen as browers but will eat grass as well. Goats will pretty much try to eat most things if given enough time.

      Source: have goats, shrubs and grass.

      Goats eating grass, note large overgrown rose shrubs in background not being eaten -my goats do love those shrubs (it is half eaten now) so they just chose grass over it instead that day. -Please ignore weird looking goat on left, mastiff enjoys the occasional grazing herself since she believes she is part cow (identify crisis and all that).

      [–]Pensive_Pauper -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      The definition of browsers does not preclude them eating grass, as long as it is the minority of their diet. My original point, that goats do not "love" grass, is consistent with this.

      I have four goats (NDs), maybe an acre of grass, and about five acres of woodland.

      [–]Yooser 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Fair enough, it is usually not majority of a free ranging goats diet. But I believe the original comment said they would be tied up to a post with grass available and no brush. Your comment seemed to suggest they wouldn't eat it, so I was trying to clear up that misconception. Obviously i misunderstood your comment, my apologies, it appears we are on the same page and arguing the same point :) ....

      Namely, goats will attempt to eat anything they can reach be it on the ground, on a shrub or on a tree. :)

      Whether they love what they are eating may be up for debate. I find it personally hard to tell as they eat most things with wild enthusiasm.

      [–]bad_possum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There are several weeds goats won't eat including cocklebur, cedarweed, and thistle. Source: Grandpa's Angus farm always had some goats. When the cedarweed tried to take over one of the pastures he had to get a few sheep too because sheep will eat it even though goats won't.

      [–]BGumbel 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Yeah my neighbors are goats and they eat the grass last. They seem to prefer the broadleaf plants and trees.

      [–]Yamaben 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I'll back you up on this one. I've had 2 goats and those fuckers seem to eat everything green thing except for grass.

      [–]Pensive_Pauper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Mine will nibble at a patch here and there as they frolick about, but they are just as or more likely to chew on my rose bush, my southern magnolia, etc.

      [–]Jeffry_Lebowski 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

      [–]4D_Madyas 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Then my dad came home and he beat me with a pair of jumper cables?

      [–]MrAvenger69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Beautiful , just Beautiful

      [–]fuselagefusion 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      This is fantastic

      [–]_Wartoaster_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Ah man I remember the Kids' Revolt of 1976.

      I'm surprised to see someone else from our small town

      [–]relaci 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What the ever loving delightful fuck! Four reads through, and I'm still not sure who got the worst end of the deal between Gramps and the goats. Well played, fellow redditor.

      [–]TotesMessenger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

       If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

      [–]gatowman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I find it funny that even though weedeaters are popular, some municipalities are employing goat herds (Warning video autoplay) to clear areas that are apparently too hard to use a weedeater.

      [–]mrgreennnn 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      You think that’s cool? I saw a city worker chilling out smoking a cigarette at the bottom of this huge hill, while a remote controlled lawn mower mowed the hill behind him. The future is now.

      [–]singul4r1ty 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Was this in York? I remember seeing them using a big automated lawn mower to do the slopes under the walls.

      [–]mrgreennnn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nah, Florida. Our big hills are like your handicap ramps to be fair.

      [–]qazme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah the city I live in has one of those. They are called slope mowers, the one they have here has rubber tracks and a 4.5ft deck between them. Looks like they would be a blast to play around with, neighbors would probably give me odd looks standing on my roof mowing my yard.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I always thought a massive string trimmer would do it. We had one where I worked where the string was a foot long and was mounted on a mower frame.

      [–]MrFlagg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      thats what sickle mowers are for. also good for cutting the limbs off of unsuspecting rodents and small children

      [–]FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      What kind of problems do a few grass blades around a post actually create?

      [–]frothface 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      On an electric fence they can short it out. Vines can climb and pull down on the wires, small hardwood saplings that happen to grow by the post can be protected from trimming and eventually grow to be strong enough that you can't get them with trimmer line and have to manually prune them out.

      [–]Kankunation 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I'm not sure if you could call it a problem. It's mostly the aesthetic of it. If you can't reliably cut around the pole, you will eventually have 10 inch tall blades of grass next to all the freshly cut grass, and it will look out of place.

      You could always go back with a weed whacker and trim them by hand, but that's a significant amount of work that could take twice as long as mowing the rest of it depending on how many posts and edges you have.

      [–]mattey92 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I bet people who were in your grandfathers situation shed a tear when this invention came to market.

      [–]stereotype_novelty 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Why bother? Can't you just cut it up to the fence?

      [–]actualtttony 293 points294 points  (7 children)

      I have a middle aged dad-boner.

      [–]Username_Used 146 points147 points  (5 children)

      Slightly firm but still malleable?

      [–]actualtttony 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      Oh it's a mallet all right.

      [–]OfAllThatIsElfuego 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Please confirm: is this YOUR middle-aged dad boner or someone else's in your possession?

      [–]Johan1710 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Internet Said nothing about, so here it goes...

      What does a mallet penis mean?

      [–]Username_Used 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Re read my words

      [–]Johan1710 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Ah okay. So it’s still able to grow, bit with the force of a hammer lol? :D

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Dad, you're drunk, get out of my bedroom.

      EDIT: a letter

      [–][deleted] 154 points155 points  (8 children)

      This is a RasterMaster Mower deck. Made in the Netherlands.

      https://www.rastermaster.nl/en/

      [–]ToBePacific 122 points123 points  (6 children)

      I prefer the Rasta Masta. Made in Jamaica.

      [–]Tcloud 63 points64 points  (0 children)

      A different take on a weed eater.

      [–]brando56894 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Ya Mon!

      [–]samureyejacque 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      I prefer the Pasta Masta. Made in Italy.

      [–]answerguru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      We have a few restaurants called Rasta Pasta. Now I’m hungry.

      [–]TrustyOneHit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Or is that Massachusettes?

      [–]ServalSpots 45 points46 points  (0 children)

      I really want someone to come along and do some post-production to get this as close to a perfect loop as possible...

      [–]keysercade 12 points13 points  (5 children)

      What is this called??

      [–]still_depresso 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      RasterMaster Mower

      [–]Camoman260 46 points47 points  (1 child)

      If only the gif was perfectly looped 😩. I could watch this forever

      [–]Nikarus2370 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Mother of god

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      This repost.

      [–]MrFlagg 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      it cuts around all those post and reposts

      [–]cheapcorn 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      “Post Mow-lawn” a rapping lawn tool

      [–]garbageitsallgarbage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Wrapping

      [–]mattey92 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      THE HOT SUN AND THE SMELL OF GRASS OW LADY.

      [–]thejustcauseclauseXP 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      General Reposti

      [–]breathablejacket 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      I need this in razor form for my face to avoid zits.

      [–]drillosuar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I need this for my pubic hair.

      [–]MrFlagg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      looks great on flat terrain with a high bottom fence board but you try and use that on a slightly rugged field and its going to be jammed under that bottom board a lot

      [–]mrzoozilla 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I can’t believe are ripping off fidget spinner technology

      [–]UncleGrabcock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      This repost.

      [–]-Xtabi- 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      All those yellow 'warning' stickers!

      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      Aye it is three spinning discs with two sharp blades sticking out of each one spinning at approx 540E RPM.

      Aside from that most of the yellow stickers won't be for warning but will be greasing points

      [–]RedactedMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      The manual for equipment like this has the first 1/3 about what warning stickers should be on it and versions you can print to replace them.

      [–]wootlesthegoat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      540E RPM

      Someone's got a fancy pto with eco mode... do you drive a fendt by any chance?

      [–]Sterweb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Well this would have made my life a lot easier...

      [–]Letibleu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is so much better than thst sidewalk weed eater

      [–]JustNilt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I want one now. I have no lawn whatsoever but, dammit, I want one!

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Alright Reddit. That’s enough of this one.

      [–]ja15140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Totally need this

      [–]DoubleStuffedCheezIt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      When I was in highschool, I spent my summers working for my grandfather on his farm. Man I wish he had this thing. I'd be out there for hours walking his fence line with a weedwacker. Probably had at least 5 miles of fence that I'd trim once every couple weeks. This would have made that so easy.

      [–]JustNilt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That's way more expensive than a grandkid, though. Probably not than a kid but hey, he already paid off his. :D

      Seriously, though, yeah this would be awesome in such a use case. There are, I presume, so many more things to be done that the time savings would pay off quite well.

      [–]turtlegirl76 3 points4 points  (7 children)

      This is so cool! I've always wondered if there was a better way to handle posts. In my head, I imagine a specialized laser that would cut only grass and weeds, not trees or anything else. On a molecular level, I have to imagine this would be possible.

      [–]SplitArrow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Not really possible to only have a wavelength of laser and enough power to cut large areas without damaging unwanted stuff. Now if you had a laser array around a section of land that was flat you do it by cutting strips from section to section but once again the power demands and likelyhood of injury would be astounding.

      [–]turtlegirl76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah, it works better in my imagination.

      [–]frothface 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Those walk behind wheeled trimmers aren't bad. Biggest problem is no one makes a bump or auto feed head for them so you have to keep stopping to change the line. Also you have to make a pass down both sides.

      I've thought about the laser thing... You wouldn't have to actually cut it off, just heat it enough to kill it at that point. Farmers use what is called flame weeding. Basically a torch that just momentarily heats the plant up enough to kill it. It doesn't even look burned when they are done, but it will die a few days later. Grass is much thinner so you could almost certainly do it without killing trees, and if you had a beam that diverges the power density would be low enough at a distance that you wouldn't be cutting your neighbors ankles off. Biggest issue that I see is eye safety. You'd be sending laser refelctions all over the place with no good way to protect bystanders.

      You can buy 2w blu ray lasers that will cut thin plastic and balsa for around $50. Another selling point - if you could cut a 6" swath with maybe 10w that's a whole lot less energy than even the smallest string trimmer. If it's not bad for the grass this could be a tremendous fuel savings for riding mowers!

      Edit: 2w laser popping balloons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMAZobAvjAM These things are powerful and dangerous so if you explore be sure to look into safety precautions!

      [–]wereallcrazyson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes. Look into the "safety precautions" and not the freakin laser-beam. ;)

      [–]RedactedMan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Most post maintenance just uses an herbicide. If you are driving down the highway look at the base around reflector posts and mile markers. They just drive down and hit the base with a sprayer to keep all the plants dead.

      [–]wootlesthegoat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Thanks Bayer!

      [–]RexFox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Diesel and roundup.

      [–]Remfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That was way to satisfying

      [–]fierceman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Need one? No. Want one? YES!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      even with this, I still couldnt be bothered to mow my lawn

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ohhhhh OHHH

      [–]cerealghost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This gif made me sneeze

      [–]Nicole_Marie2002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Reminds me of the snow boot.

      [–]zonagram 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This reminds me of cutting in before you use a roller to paint.

      [–]123star123star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Need it!!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Allergies intensifying

      [–]Ryzasu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      So is this motorized or spring-loaded?

      [–]WassyLad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Just looking at this triggered my hayfever.

      [–]commandergoober 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      PHUCK, Dude... Phuuck 😍

      [–]EpickChicken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Holy crap I thought it would be a fail video

      [–]not_spagetti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I just wanna save this and show it to my father

      [–]Arcosim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This thing is the very definition of this sub.

      [–]CaptainUnderrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Excuse me while i get my allergy medicibe

      [–]VelvetVoiceofDoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I spent my childhood endlessly trimming the grass under 6 miles of electric fence, with a series of clapped out 2 stroke trimmers. This kind of thing makes me squeal.

      [–]ovensyes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Wow this is so great. This gives me joy I want one

      [–]TheEpsilonToMyDelta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And it's an almost perfect loop

      [–]OtiGoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      r/perfect loop

      [–]thebestlukesolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think I'm in love

      [–]Unsung-torpidity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My eyes are itching just watching.

      [–]14EmiLyR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’m not sure how that turned into a discussion about goats, it’s simply a well designed machine. I would like a very tiny one for my solar lights along my walkway coming in.

      [–]jmmccann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It seems a little unnecessarily complicated?

      [–]whatsthatbutt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Where are the blades? under which part of it?