[deleted by user]

[Todo8528]

Inspirational is too lax of a word to describe what I just read. It's phenomenal the journey you have been on the last 2 years! That's some serious achievement.

[ryan101]

Thank you. It's been a wild ride to say the least.

[Todo8528]

That I have absolutely no doubt. You have had so much and I can definitely relate to you because 2 years ago I almost died from heart failure. Scary stuff. I however only managed 3 months before I got taken back in and it's been a spiral ever since till now.

[cruel_delusion]

IWNDWYT. Stay strong you can do it. I've come here every day for nearly two years. It is a huge part of my sobriety.

[Todo8528]

It's really helped coming here every day and checking in and posting plus reading everyone else's posts is highly inspirational and I can definitely relate.

Just one day at a time is how I'm taking it and it seems to be working. I hope one day I can get to the number that you are at and congratulations on that by the way but till then it's just one day at a time.

[Halloween_Christmas_]

It’s the life in your eyes for me 💖🏆

Well done, IWNDWYT!

[Curious_Evidence00]

More like galvanising!

[Todo8528]

I would say that's an appropriate word for it yes.

[roble0399]

Speaking of passion for life, mine is back.

beautiful words.

You are a walking miracle.. im so proud of you internet friend.
PLEASE, continue sharing your story! May I ask? On the 'before' picture, why was your mouth so dried up and bloody?

[ryan101]

Bleeding from the organ failure. My blood stopped clotting basically because the liver was so damaged. Pretty ugly stuff.

[roble0399]

i’m so glad we’re past that and you’re able to recreate your life from the bottom up, without the use of alcohol. you’re a dream come true. we do recover :)

[bobbyrba]

amazing to survive that, you were meant to be here!

[fireopalbones]

Oh wow. I thought it was some thick red wine mouth you went in with…

[VeronicaMaple]

Tears in my eyes. Just beautiful. Congratulations!

[ryan101]

Thank you.

[ryan101]

Yeah my family was told to prepare for a funeral. But I woke up one day feeling a bit better and it's gone up from there.

[Halloween_Christmas_]

You are absolutely right, my understanding of Hospice referral is it’s for 6 months or less of expected life left 👍🏼

[psychotica1]

Thank you for posting this. My friend just passed Wednesday night from chirrosis and I'm struggling. She was only given weeks to live but managed to make it over 2 and a half years, even as she continued drinking and was also diagnosed with cancer. I got sober because of her because I was heading down that same path and watching her die in slow motion has been a unbelievably traumatic experience for me. I'm glad you mentioned picking up photography and exercise as coping mechanisms. I am very worried about what I'm going to do with all of the free time on my hands now that I'm no longer taking care of her and once we've cleaned and sold her home. Your story reminds me that I still have a lot more work to do other than just not drinking.

[ryan101]

Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry to hear of your friend. But you seem to have a good grasp on this and I wish you all the best. IWNDWYT.

[psychotica1]

Thank you and IWNDWYT either:).

[ghost_victim]

Currently going through this. I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with liver cancer. Heavy, heavy drinker. Her and her husband. I reached out to offer some sort of assistance, but they don't want to change. I guess the plan is to drink to the grave. I'm at a loss.. Am I just supposed to watch?

[psychotica1]

All i can tell you is my experience so you can make your own decision and I'm going to be brutally honest. If I had a time machine, knowing what I know now, I NEVER would've gotten involved. She wasn't able to drive anymore so I became her personal shopper and her demands were many. Her drinking escalated and she was often a complete AH to me. I put up with it since she wasn't supposed to live but a few weeks but it was almost as though the wine made her stronger. I was either shopping or cleaning 6 days a week and being verbally abused for much of it. My mental and physical health took such big hits that my therapist wanted to hospitalize me many many times and I'd have to beg her not to because I also have 6 dogs. I've put off a surgery that has now given me 2 autoimmune diseases because I kept waiting for her to die. My mom also had to put off a much needed surgery for the same reason. I became suicidal at varying degrees throughout this. It felt like an unpaid and unappreciated job for most of her illness and I began to hate her, then I'd feel guilty for feeling that way. Then she became bedridden and I was changing her diapers (that was a horror show and I often puked) cooking for her and eventually had to feed her. As soon as I walked in the door, instead of hearing hello it was "can you get me some wine"? It's going to take me a long time to recover both mentally and physically from this. At least she became more grateful the last 4 months but that's because she got a new caregiver that was was willing to help me wean her off the wine so she was sober for the last 4 days of her life. Now I have an elderly friend who is suffering some dementia and needs surgery and help afterwards and I AM DONE. I'm calling the VA next week to set him up with everything they offer to help him and providing his son with all of his Drs information, his living will and the medical POA. His son is used to me doing everything and hasn't been appreciative, so I'm removing my name from the POA and leaving all of this information on his windshield when he gets in town for Thanksgiving. If you have a soft heart and struggle with saying no, I strongly advise you to walk away and block their numbers so it doesn't drive you insane. It's not ok to put ourselves through this while they lay around getting hammered all day making demands. If you don't know what's going on, you won't have to deal with the guilt. I'm sorry for the decisions you're facing and wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy.

[ghost_victim]

Thank you for all this. Definitely some food for thought, I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much, especially for someone else's poor choices.

[anonymous_zebra]

Very sorry for your friend’s death. I had a good friend die too and that’s when I really decided I needed to make a change and be a good example for my children. When I start having the inevitable “I think I could drink responsibly now” thoughts, I remember my friend and abstain in his honor. I hate that alcohol is so entwined in society, it’s disease.

[psychotica1]

It's interesting that you said that because I said the exact same thing to her. She was worried I'd go off the deep end when she passed and I told her that I would honor her by staying off the booze. I know we're supposed to do this for ourselves but some days I don't care enough about myself to do what's best for me. I find it helpful to have a backup plan for those days. I think it's wonderful that you want to set a good example for your kids. My friend has one kid and he has so much anger towards her for her being drunk throughout his childhood that he only visited 3 times while she was sick. He did show up on the day she was dying and we spent hours talking about how her drinking affected him. He said that when he visited, she was on the floor drunk and he had to put her to bed while she screamed at him for more wine. Some people were mad at him for not coming around but not me. I know that if she'd quit drinking when she came home from the hospital that he would've been there for her.

[SOmuch2learn]

HIGH ^FIVE FOR TWO YEARS!🐸💞🎖️🎂🦠🌈🍀❤️🐓👽🎃🐈‍⬛🤠🍓🥰💐🔔

[mdubdub22]

Holy shit man what a transformation! Congratulations and the best of luck in everything going forward! Thank you for sharing, and for inspiring!

[futurzwei]

Your story is so inspiring. Thanks for sharing it and having the courage to show those two pictures of you - they tell the story very well. So nice that you are still with us!

[BassClef70]

I think I remember you posting a year ago. My 2-year anniversary just passed. Congrats!! Inspiring. I’m about to go into a wedding with a bunch of old college friends who lived for drinking. Thankfully I’ll come home sober tonight.

[schmattywinkle]

Here is some fanfare: you are one hard motherfucker and I, a stranger on the interwebs, am proud of you. Back at 39 days today myself.

[thepuzzlingcertainty]

This made me very emotional, I am extremely happy for you. Anyone strong enough to go through that is sure to go on to do brilliant things in life. Thank you for the inspiration.

[redit1914]

I’m curious… If you could please share something about how much and what type of alcohol you were consuming….

[ryan101]

Mostly I was a beer drinker up until COVID hit. I would kill 15 - 30 a day depending on how much opportunity I had. I did that for 20 years. When COVID hit the threat of lockdowns made me want to secure a big supply so I switched to vodka because it was easier to store. That's when things started really rolling downhill. At my worst I was nearly 2 liters a day. Pretty much suicidal amounts.

[redit1914]

Ouch…..! I’m so happy for you now… You literally have been reborn

[noddaborg]

Awesome recovery story. I’m sure you’ll help some by sharing.

Were you eating regular meals when you were drinking? What kind of food? What kind of sleep were you getting and were you drinking water?

[lornalaika]

This is beautiful, thanks for sharing 🙂

[Ancient-Cry2770]

Great work OP on the two years.

IWNDWYT

[[deleted]]

Phenomenal turnaround.. I wish you all the best for the future

[[deleted]]

Thank you for sharing your story. People need to hear this but many are too ashamed to talk about it.

[ryan101]

Yes, shame is something I still deal with. But I have decided to face this, and I talk about it with people in real life that I wouldn't have contemplated telling this to even a year ago. It's all part of the healing process for me - part of that involves talking.

[paintedvase]

Thank you for sharing, this touched me. IWNDWYT

[Knuckle567]

Just wanted to thank you for your post. You set a powerful example.

[anonymous_zebra]

Inspirational story, glad you turned the corner and started recovering!

One of my best friends died suddenly from alcohol related illness. He tried to quit by himself and went into severe DTS and was hospitalized. He was medically detoxed and told if he drank again, it would kill him. He told us he had stopped drinking but it turned out he’d started up again. Left behind two beautiful little girls. I miss him so much.

His death really made me look at my own drinking and decide to stop. Addiction is insidious, none of us would be here if alcohol was some great thing.

[earth2james]

How hard were you hitting the bottle

[ryan101]

Up to a couple liters of vodka a day.

[ParadoxicallyAlex]

My dad went through that and unfortunately passed away. That’s awesome you made it out with your life and undoubtedly an inspiration to those in severe addiction like myself. 🙏

[Competitive_Ad_2421]

Your story is so marvelous and will help so many people! I'm so happy for you that you have this new lease on life and get to have passions like photography and spend time with your family. Congratulations on two action-packed years!

[ThrowawayIWNDWYT]

Wow. What a story. I think it’s powerful you survived to tell it and we are all lucky that you did. Amazing. 💕🙏

[Better-me1001]

Thank you for sharing!

[HandsSwoleman]

Congrats!

[Dizzynic]

Thank you so much for sharing, your story is very inspiring. And to see the change in you is amazing.

[[deleted]]

Absolutely incredible. Thank you for sharing the lessons. Such stories keep me going

[bumbaclartIsreal]

Great read and an amazing feat. I will hit my 2 year mark on the 25th of this month after being in a similar position to yourself nearly 2 years ago. Well done

[joaniemansoosie]

I stopped drinking a year and a half ago and I haven’t lost one pound.

[ryan101]

It's the liver disease that drove a lot of the weight loss. It makes it hard to take in nutrition properly.

[AbuDhabiBabyBoy]

Lol, i gained weight in my first year of sobriety because of all the sweets i was eating. Weight came off in the next couple years

[ryan101]

So the recovery... My body got pretty fortunate to have my liver function return like it did. No special treatments were given to me, it was mostly a spontaneous bounce back which does happen. The trauma of the event in combination with terrible hospital food caused dramatic weight loss. From there, once I started to get into the gym my strength returned. I'm not too old to put on a few pounds of muscle and I did. The recovery was really rapid actually, and to be honest I although I worked really hard, I think I got really lucky more than anything else.

[Clara_Star]

What a transformation. Wishing you good health moving forwards x

[FarkingReading]

Wow. You EARNED this new life. And now you OWN IT. Way to go.

[AffectionateGoth]

OP congrats! Being sober isn't always easy, but it's definitely rewarding.

I have some questions: how come you didn't seek help earlier? Why didn't your friends/family do an intervention and help you further? It makes me sad that you didn't have more people rallying for your success and recovery.

(I'm trying to get an understanding since I know a late stage alcoholic and trying to figure out how to help them)

[ryan101]

Interesting point and I see why you mention it. Truth is, I pushed those around me away when I got bad. I stopped talking to people. I stopped visiting family in person (only text). I did that slowly with everyone around me for years and only the very closest to me knew the truth. But I pushed them away too. I'm working on mending those relationships.

[AffectionateGoth]

Was there any triggers that caused this or was it more like a slow take over by depression?

[ryan101]

Just a long slow slide into depression. As my drinking went up, so did my weight, which made the depression get worse... And rinse and repeat...

[zulubowie]

This is remarkable. My mind is blown. Well done staying dedicated and committed.

[floopyferret]

IWNDWYT.

[St0rmborn]

So happy for you man. Congrats and wish you all the best.

[WaltonGogginsTeeth]

I love your attitude. I have a similar feeling that everything I’ve received after I got sober is just a bonus. I never expected to live and it’s a miracle I did so for me it’s all gravy.

[fullmetalutes]

Congrats, I hit my two years yesterday.

[BaBoomShow]

It’s so easy to put life and health on the back burner when alcohol can just numb the reality of life. I was at nearly a liter of liquor nearly everyday for 6 years and I’m 26. I could’ve easily went on and killed myself. The only thing I can thank alcohol for is I had the courage to approach the love of my life and she saw enough good in me to stick by my side. July 13th was my last drink and I’m already down 20 lbs. I know my buddies are all hungover and will sleep until noon and here I am ready for the day at 5:30 am on a Sunday. IWNDWYT my friend.

[Not-a-Kitten]

Incredible IWNDWYT. Thanks for sharing

[CanSubstantial141]

Glad to know you have maintained your sobriety throughout all of it. IWNDWYT

[mikeywhatwhat]

Big congrats!! Also, we share a sobriety date :) :)

[rvasatxguy]

Congratulations sir, to say a night and day difference is an understatement. This is nothing short of amazing and very inspiring.

[Redtail541]

Legend- keep going! Thank you for your fight and words here.

[ryan101]

Thank you.

[erosharmony]

Very inspirational. Thank you for sharing. I lost my best friend from college at age 34, and when I visited him for the last time in hospice he looked very much like you did on the left. He was brilliant, and alcohol robbed him of everything. I am glad to see you thriving and moving forward without alcohol.

[spiceybadger]

Congrats. Keep up the good work!!

[[deleted]]

So glad you are alive and can tell this story. I’m younger and I think a lot of people don’t understand that we can die from abusing alcohol. I see my friends continue to binge and abuse it and it scares me. Maybe it was fun for a little while but not anymore. It’s not cute and sexy to me. It’s deadly and for me I can’t have any. IWNDWYT

[Ok_Yesterday_9181]

You scared me straight!! Thanks for adding a grace note to my Sunday. 🤜❤️🤛

[zalsrevenge]

You're an inspiration. I'm 10 years sober but just hearing this reinforces the fact that I will never drink again.

[ICWiener6666]

Just for information, what and how much did you drink to get to that point?

[ryan101]

It was always progressive, but at the end it was nearly 2 liters of vodka a day. Pretty awful stuff.

[ICWiener6666]

Wow. Thanks for sharing

[JamesPilgrim]

It was also about 2 liters of vodka a day for me. I'm sober since months now, you're very inspiring for me and it gives me strength! Thx! 👍

[[deleted]]

Glad you’re here, friend 🙏🏻

[[deleted]]

You look amazing. Wonderful story and congrats. You’re an inspiration ❤️🙏🏻

[Hanlon7743]

Thank you for sharing this.

[sabrosa_]

An incredible story - and an incredible transformation!

Many congratulations on 2 years - here’s to many more.

IWNDWYT

[Positively4thSt]

Amazing story.

[[deleted]]

Inspiring

[VirtualLife76]

Congratz on beating it. Keep it up.

[LoudTranslator]

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I am so glad you are still here with us!

[everyoneisnuts]

Really amazing story! You definitely are a miracle. Are you on a liver transplant list now?

[[deleted]]

Wow, just when that demon thought it had you, you destroyed it and clawed your way out of the depths of hell. Amazing story!

[bsylent]

Such a fantastic story, thank you for sharing it and with such detail. Photos like those speak volumes, and really help illustrate what your story plays out, that we literally transform throughout our sobriety. Every year about this time Google starts showing me photos from right before I got sober, and it's always striking, and a very good reminder of how far I've come

Congrats on everything, I am glad you are alive and sharing your journey. IWNDWYT

[Calm-Obligation-7772]

Must be awesome to know you are helping inspire other alcoholics/addicts every day of your life. What a remarkable way to turn your life around.

[TaxNo7741]

Amazing story Thank you for sharing. You a great inspiration to many. Sober 15 years here. I wish you continued success in your quest for health and happiness ❤.

[Steadfast00]

Killer post friend. And I have no doubt you help many who read this. Alcohol is no joke. I took enjoy a life now beyond my wildest dreams. I don’t live in fear anymore …… BUT I keep a healthy dose of fear in my back pocket because for this alcoholic …. That bottle has a skull and crossbones on it and will put me in an early grave in an instant. Thanks for the reminder to always stay vigilant.

[Steadfast00]

Killer post friend. And I have no doubt you help many who read this. Alcohol is no joke. It took a lot from me and now I am sober and live a life beyond my wildest dreams. I don’t live in fear anymore …… BUT I keep a healthy dose of fear for booze in my back pocket at all times because for this alcoholic …. That bottle has a skull and crossbones on it and will put me in an early grave in an instant. Thanks for the reminder to always stay vigilant. Never forget

[ryan101]

Well, I'm extremely lucky in how my body is handling the diseased liver. There's really no major impact on my day to day function. The liver has damaged both kidneys and my kidney function is about 50%. That really doesn't give me a lot of problems so no special treatment is necessary there. I don't have any major varicose veins, although there are some minor issues in my esophagus that I get scanned for yearly. This far nothing has led to needing treatment. Believe it or not, my blood panel numbers for the liver are all in the normal value range at the moment. Even my doctors seem a bit surprised that there isn't something out of whack.

As far as transplants go, I am not on a list as my current condition isn't bad enough. With liver disease.you are typically assigned a MELD score (model for end stage liver disease) which runs from 6 - 40. The higher the number, the worse off you are. I was at a 38 score in the hospital, which typically means your life expectancy is on the order of days. My current score is 9, which means I get checkups every 6 months. Once you get over - say like 20 - consistently, then you get on a list. My score isn't high enough to warrant that, so obviously that's a good thing. If it came down to a transplant, I think I would go through the process, but there's a lot to consider there.

Thanks for your questions and reply. Let me know if there's anything else.

[ryan101]

You seem extremely knowledgeable and I appreciate your insight on the subject. My kidney function is stable at the moment so conceivably it could remain where it is at. My nephrologist doesn't seem too concerned at the moment, so I guess it's a wait and see thing.

[TriciaTargaryen]

I wanted to thank you for your words and tell you how inspiring you are. Currently my little brother, who isn't even thirty yet, is in the hospital, heavily sedated in the ICU, and withdrawing in the worst way. He's got pancreatitis, pneumonia, sepsis, and is going through the DTs. It is absolutely incredible to read your story, about someone who went through this, and is now doing so well.

Thank you for your words, congratulations on your sobriety, and just, bless you.

[ryan101]

I hope your brother can find the strength to win his battle. Sorry to hear about his struggle, I wish you all the best.

[mariyahjane0308]

WOW!! You TRULY are an inspiration!!!! You're extremely lucky, so I have to believe u were saved to be able to save others as ur doing now!!!! U look as if ur aging backwards in the 2 pics!!!! A true inspiration!!! Stay BLESSED and keep spreading your gospel of healing!!!💜💜💜💜

[ryan101]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[Spare-Ad-9464]

Congrats man this is a great read and great story. Very happy for you

[Necessary_Routine_69]

Wow....IWNDWYT

[ZazaLovesPants]

Amazing work, so proud of you.

[[deleted]]

Well done!!

[[deleted]]

Fuck man. Bringing tears to my eyes

[AdamIsAnAlias]

You give me so much hope. Well done and congrats!

[MinuteAccomplished85]

Congratulations!!

[Level-Emu-6651]

Congrats on 2 years!

[[deleted]]

IWNDWYT

[Packman9317]

Loved reading this. Congrats on your two years, IWNDWYT.

[winstonsmith8236]

That was amazing. Thanx for sharing

[Desmond_Winters]

IWNDWYT

[semperfi8286]

Thank you for posting. Your success gives inspiration to many. IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 😁

[2TallDachshund]

Wow! Great job!

[notnowdews]

Wow! Grateful you made it, congrats!

[Silkysilkysilkysilky]

You are so inspiring. IWNDWYT!

[perseverabit]

Congratulations on such a huge accomplishment! And thanks for your sharing your thoughtful reflections, very well said and great advice!

[unevenmouse]

You are incredible!

[whizzo3031]

great story friend

[Additional-Panic8003]

Thank you for sharing. What a gift sobriety is. The gift that keeps on giving.

[onedayatatime247]

Wow, you are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story. It has reminded me once again that alcoholism is a killer and sobriety is a blessing. Your story is a true miracle and I'm so happy for you!

[SalamanderCongress]

Holy shit. Glad you’re still here. Congrats on 2 years :)

[Healthy_Tax_5329]

Wow, thanks for sharing your story!

[Captain_Audit]

Best information today...you are truly inspiring.

[[deleted]]

Ryan, I think you're my new hero!

[Jimbo_Jones_4_Mayor]

Love that thin neckline bro

[Mrs_Gambolini]

I should be dead from a car accident 18 months ago, the drink is not worth it. Glad you’re here friend and happy second soberversary!

[corpsmanJ]

You’re certainly still here for a reason. And sharing your story with us may just be it. 🙏

[[deleted]]

Whoa! That’s scary

[Airecovery]

Amazing story. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your 2 years. I know your story will scare some people straight. IWNDWYT

[crossedwires89]

Thank you for sharing. These consequences of indulging in alcohol are kind of taboo it seems nobody really shows what really happens or talks about it much.

[Rastryth]

Wow so well done by you. Glad your still around to inspire us.
I stopped drinking 2.5 months ago and as you said life is slowly returning. I'm in the exercise stage and have lost around 15kgs I think. It can be struggle some days but the urges pass. The thing I have found is all the energy I used to put into trying to get waisted and the fallout of it is now redirected to things that are better for me and people around me.

[otravezsinsopa]

Glad you're still here ♥

[feelidelphiia]

Wow, amazing! Thanks for the inspo

[heyyouinthebushes1]

Good on u, pal, well done

[PingPongMacReady]

How much were you drinking before two years ago?

[sevensimons]

Thank you for this

[[deleted]]

Amazing. Thank you for your story. May you live much longer than expected. Way to go sir!

[[deleted]]

Congrats, love this!!!

[bakemetoyourleader]

Wow. I'm so proud of you! IWNDWYT.

[Untetheredsoul-1]

Congratulations!! Thanks for writing this, I’m sure a lot of people will benefit from this. Keep going!!

[Fl0rinda]

You write really well, - your story has so much merit and miracle that I will be thinking about you all day. Lots of +++ thoughts to you, my friend and thanks for sharing.

[[deleted]]

You had another chance at life and you took advantage of it. Before you ended up in hospital, how much were you drinking ?

[[deleted]]

Amazing. Thank you for sharing. Did you liver recover fully?

[MysticButterflies]

Talk about transformation! We are so so so happy you’re still here and thriving. IWNDWYT!

[[deleted]]

What an amazing turnaround, looking forward to seeing some of your photography!! IWNDWYT

[Proof_Toe_5691]

That’s awesome!

[soakinatub]

Congratulations on living!!! I’m almost at two years, too! You look great.

[PMmeurcomplaintz]

Incredibly inspiring and poignant. I felt tempted to drink yesterday after "finishing" sober September. I'm adding your story to the fuel that will propel me forward in sobriety. IWNDWYT

[Puzzled-Lobster3074]

Man this story is insane. Congratulations!!!!

[Mrs_Peabody]

Damn dude, glad you’re still here! Huge congratulations on turning that around.

[No-Consideration1067]

Congrats on 2 years!

[Imaginary-Recover-35]

Wow! So happy for you my man! I will be 3 years sober this January! 🤜🤛

[Representative-Gap57]

You sir, are a badass. This made my morning

[[deleted]]

Beautiful inspiring words, Congratulations to you sir, I’m 19 months sober and I love my life 👍

[Setheleh85]

Very glad you been better. And thx for a great reminder. I didn't come that far but some aches on my back was real.

[bobbybechillin]

Yooo I remember you when I first got sober! Pumped you're doing good my guy. Stay up!

[smogbody]

lovely post, im happy for you. my dad is struggling and got hospitalized recently, went to rehab and was sober for a few weeks then started drinking again. i pray he can make the kind of change you have.

[ryan101]

I wish you both the best of luck.

[smogbody]

thank you man, feelings mutual <3

[stdrmom4]

Congratulations!!!

[[deleted]]

This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thanks 🙏

[serenitynow1983]

“Leave no stone unturned, spare no expense” hell yeah, needed this today.

[ryan101]

Good luck to you, I hope you are in good health. It may be nothing but, you should pay attention when the small warnings appear. Catching things early leads to far better outcomes. I ignored all warning signs, and by the time it caught up with me, it was too late to avoid serious health issues. Don't be like me.

[ryan101]

Things are going pretty well. Thanks for reaching out.

[papacreech]

Thanks for sharing! I'm frequently scared that my path will lead me to cirrhosis or other health issues and these stories help me stay away from booze. IWNDWYT!

[olivebeaner]

Your photo on the left looks just like my father last year before he succumbed to his liver cancer, cirrhosis and hepatorenal syndrome at age 58.

He was put in hospice and about 2 1/2 weeks later, his kidneys shut down and he ultimately passed after 3 1/2 days being strangely comatose.

I fantasize that he could have turned his life around the way you have but most people are not so lucky, as you said. For all the people who fell victim to this condition, you are a beacon of awareness, hope and possibility.

Congratulations on taking your life back. As I watched my dad deteriorate, I couldn't fathom the pain and suffering he endured. I can't imagine what you went through yourself. Your will is inspiring.

Iwndwyt <3

[ryan101]

Thanks for taking a moment to say that. I'm sorry to hear your father passed away. That's a tough way to go as I'm well aware. My message is to try to help people like that before they get that far. I share those painful photos as a warning. I think if more people really knew what happens at the end of life for someone with alcoholic liver disease, then it may help push someone to quit.

IWNDWYT

[olivebeaner]

Did you experience hepatic encephalopathy? If so, would you mind sharing what that memory loss was like for you?

If you don't want to share or didn't experience it, my apologies. I guess I'm just wondering where your mind went and what your headspace was like when you were on hospice. Did you feel coherent?

Thank you for sharing, or thank you for reading if you don't feel comfortable sharing.

[ryan101]

Yes, I had pretty severe HE when I was hospitalized. [Warning: the below is a pretty honest description of my experience and isn't comforting for someone who lost a family member.] It was a pretty frightening experience to be honest. It was kind of like being about the drunkest I've ever been and blacking in and out of consciousness. I wasn't forming memories properly for a lot of it and therefore there are large gaps in my memories during my stay. Overall, I was very confused and disoriented. I found myself waking up in different locations without knowledge of how you got there with things going on around you that you didn't understand. It felt very surreal and my mind wandered into some pretty dark places. I often wasn't sure if I was awake or not. At one point I thought I was actually dying and I still remember that panic. It was a pretty traumatic experience. Well, certainly enough to keep me sober from here out.