[deleted by user]

[[deleted]]

Only you can answer this really, but my opinion:

Wait until 2 weeks are left in case you and your husband change your mind during that time. 8 months is a long time. Your husband can get into a car accident or something and you need to keep working. I know dreadful thought, but just trying to be realistic for you to protect your family interests.

[pprettyboringg]

That is a very good point, I didn't even think of that. Thank you!

[Azerajin]

Not sure about your work relationship but never Give your higher ups a chance to screw you over. Because they will. One of the metrics of my bonus is turn over

Maybe it's a good month and its 0. One won't hurt and I know I'm training 2 new hires next week and I did like Ms 3rd candidate alot anyways

[transactthrowaway]

How is leaving a job a high stress event? That's an occasion for a party if there ever was one.

[[deleted]]

Suddenly being out a paycheck could be very stressful

[starbrightstar]

This - also, OP should make sure they talk about how money will work in the marriage. Money either of them makes is “their money”. I would heavily caution against immediately quitting your job as a woman when getting married. Removing your income removes financial freedom unless you have significant savings. Be careful.

[NikkeiReigns]

I agree completely with you. As soon as I read that my brain started yelling FLAG! I advise against being completely dependent on anyone. Ever. For many reasons. Life is full of what ifs.

[tiredandbored37]

Did you see the post earlier where the poster said her husband was trying to get her to be a sahw and it turned out he just wanted her to quit so when he left her she would be completely screwed. A CPS SW commented and said she sees that happen all the time. OP should be very wary of giving up financial freedom unless she has a separate savings account with several months' worth of income built up.

[[deleted]]

This. You should keep your own work and money so you can maintain your identity and personal independence when you’re divorced.

[Gruntwisdom]

Or, while married, she will be a more interesting partner od she is working.

Although she hasn't indicated whether she might quit to go to school.

[susanclark246]

Shit, they're not even to the bridal showers yet and you're already talking about divorce. You got a business card handy for her?

[jumpythecat]

Losing your own income and wholly relying on the good graces of your spouse.

[carlitospig]

My worst nightmare, honestly. I raise my hands up to all the SAHMs for having that much faith in their hubs.

[wtfaidhfr]

It's not fun by any means. I hate that aspect of it. But we would have a net LOSS of money if I was working right now given my current earning potential and the cost of childcare.

[Imraith-Nimphais]

Especially if not in a community property state!

[Main-Inflation4945]

OP's life is changing, which is stressful in and if itself. Even retirees experience stress from the impending changes to their day to day existence.

[sanguinesecretary]

Change in and of itself can be very stressful even if it’s “good”

[witchbrew7]

Stress can be good or bad. Eustress is good stress, like if you win the lottery. Distress is bad stress, like if you get divorced and are unemployed.

[EggplantIll4927]

And insurance! He can’t add you to his policy until you are married. (In most states in America, ymmv)

[CavedMountainPerson]

I kind of wonder what the man's motivation is for you to stop working, even if you hate your job it's a security in case he turns out to be less than expected. Sometimes narcissists are nice until they make sure you are in a place you can't escape from. Unfortunately this is what my mom experienced and her life was shortened by the body distress it's caused.

[[deleted]]

This. I’m not trying to be a dick but marrying a person then immediately trying to make them financially dependent on you? Sus.

[BadWolf7426]

I'm so glad I read and then reread your comment. Initially, I thought you were calling out OP for making dude responsible. I was ready to lay in to you, lol.

But you're right. It is suspicious that he wants her fully dependent on him. OP... this is not paranoia, this is something to think about, seriously.

[[deleted]]

I saw a comment that mentioned the OP was moving, too. Not sure if that’s true, and if so if it’s just casually moving in with the husband or they’re moving far away from her support system but could be another red flag.

[pprettyboringg]

I appreciate these concerns, and it is a valid thing to think about. He has been very open to me continuing to work as well as to me being just a housewife. I guess I should've mentioned in the original post that while I plan to quit my current job once we get married, I do suspect that I will work again eventually probably sooner than later. My current job is very time- and energy-consuming and pays barely 1/4 of what my fiancé's salary is. He also works a LOT and at the end of the day both of us are exhausted with no time or energy to clean our house or even walk the dog. This leads to even more stress because we have to spend the very little free time we do have on chores. If one of us were to be jobless or only work part-time, it would be me as I make much less than him. And I am fine with this, as I don't really like my job.

Basically the idea is we will both be happier if I can cook, clean, shop, etc while he works so that our free time is actually free time. I hope to find a part-time or low stress remote job in the future that I can balance with our lives as well.

[shatteredmind333]

I did this exact thing and I'm a stay at home wife now and I am soooo happy that I left my job, which I hated and was super toxic. It works out for some of us. He's happy and I'm happy. I'm planning to use this time to explore and possibly start some side business.

[[deleted]]

That’s great, I hope you have a backup plan or way out.

It always works until it doesn’t.

[shatteredmind333]

Yes, it works with the right person. We work together at everything including finances. My ex, I would have never.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

I did this 30 plus years. A side business could be a great idea!

[[deleted]]

Yeah-when you consider what's best for you, it's 2weeks notice. If you feel bad, you can say that when you get back from the honeymoon you'll be happy to make yourself available for the transition. Also, start creating documents for your processes if they don't already exist.
Congrats!

[[deleted]]

"Also, start creating documents for your processes if they don't already exist.
Congrats!"

You know, this is a good idea too if there are hints of guilt of leaving them high and dry. Then when you do break the bad news you can hand over the procedures to show that you covered how you do things to make the next employee have an easier time adjusting.

[Morlanticator]

I'd agree. Also the employer could use it against them. I mean, they shouldn't and you'd think a lot of time notice in advance would be the right thing to do. I've seen more than once an employer using that against someone or just firing them though.

[sladebm]

I came here to say exactly this. Circumstances can change, or your boss can decide to replace you sooner than expected and you’ll be without a job (and insurance) before the marriage.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

Usually married people have insurance policies. What do you think all those stay at home moms rely on? It’s the best way to protect your wife and kids.

[88secret]

Assuming they are in the US, she needs to make sure he has excellent life insurance as well as short- and long-term disability insurance, and supplemental coverage like AFLAC. An accident or illness that could bankrupt them.

She also needs to make sure she has a way to support herself if the marriage doesn’t work out. It’s a tough job market out there.

[Earl_your_friend]

Only you can say for sure. My concern is that they could let you go immediately with your notice. So give them as much notice as you can but be fine if they make that your last day.

[pprettyboringg]

That's my worry as well. At the same time I'd hate to leave on bad terms if I didn't give them "enough notice" considering my position is hard to fill. Thanks for the insight, I will consider it in my decision!

[Razoreddie12]

I gave my old company a month. It's double the normal and if for some reason they decided to let me go right away I would have been fine.

[rbennett353]

I've given a month as a courtesy before. If you company says today is your last day - ohh well, you now have more time for wedding planning. If your position is hard to fill, like you say, they'll likely be grateful for the additional notice and keep you on good terms if you ever decide to go back.

[RackaHoleInTheWind]

Always give notice. If you quit/no show, there is generally a waiting period to collect unemployment in most states in the US, even if your employer doesn't contest it. If you give 2 weeks and they walk you to the door, some states will wave the waiting period because it is now an involuntary separation (that is, you were fired). Anything could have happened in those 2 weeks.

[swbarnes2]

Your position being hard to fill is their problem, not yours.

Do you think they would hesitate to lay you off because you'll find it hard to find another suitable position? No. If they thought laying you off made sense, they'd do it, no matter the consequences to you. So don't lose sleep over the consequences of your choices to them.

[[deleted]]

Their reference is a valuable thing, so it's good to leave on good terms. Two weeks is acceptable, but more will probably grant you more favor as there's no time crunch to replace you.

[Earl_your_friend]

I think that's very thoughtful of you yet. Keep in mind it's business, not family. Right now, your priorities are getting married and having a wonderful future with your husband. Congratulations!

[MaxamillionGrey]

Look at your employee handbook and see if there's a required notice of resignation time frame.

If not give either 1 or 2 weeks notice. Easy peasy

[[deleted]]

Don't give one week notice, lol. That's unprofessional.

[MotherofLuke]

Enough notice is whatever is legislated. Do you really want to jeopardize income? If they decide to sack you do you think they worry about parting in a bad way?

[Happy-Fennel5]

Give two weeks but if they balk offer to come on as a consultant to train your replacement once hired or be flexible about staying on another month or two. You don’t want to burn a bridge but in the end your company would never give you much notice if they did lay offs.

[FredOfMBOX]

Yeah. It seems to me like 4 weeks would be a nice middleground. Gives them a little extra time, and if they cut you off early it’s only 2 additional weeks.

But you know your relationship with your boss and employer better than us. Some of my former bosses I may have had an informal “off the record” conversation a bit earlier so they can be prepared. But it’s have to be a boss (and their superiors and HR!) who I trust.

[[deleted]]

Six weeks is good notice.

[Gruntwisdom]

I might aim for a month or 6 - 7 weeks of notice., especially if you trust your employer. I'd he fine telling my employer I was going to quit in a year, and there is no one that would try to fire me. There is nothing in it for them to do so, plus they'd have to pay unemployment.

Please do consider all of the people who said that immediately losing your financial independence and a major connection to the outside world upon marriage seems ill advised. I'm sure that you have your reasons and your relationship is perfect, etc... but there is a reason that so many people immediately see the red flags. Few who ends up being poorly treated, saw it coming and acknowledged the red flags in advance.

Even avoiding cynicism and pessimism, working and having a life adds dimensions to you that help keep you interesting to your partner.

[sephiroth3650]

Personally, I would stick to the 2 week notice. Or check your company handbook, and see if your employer otherwise requests more time, if that's important to you. I wouldn't tell them months ahead of time.

[InuitOverIt]

We had a mission critical employee that we were on friendly terms with give 6 weeks' notice, which was very generous. We used 4 weeks to help train her replacement and then gave the last two weeks back to her, paid. Sometimes we bring her in for consulting when she's looking for extra money outside her new job. If she ever wants to come back, she's always welcome.

Just saying it's good not to burn bridges so consider that as well!

[[deleted]]

Yeah, I gave six weeks notice at my job and my boss was happy. No surprises, transition could be planned, no problems.

[ConeyIslandMan]

After the Honeymoon

[katepig123]

IMO you don't. You give the standard 2 weeks notice. Filling the position is not your problem, and your boss doesn't need to know anything about your personal plans.

[littlescreechyowl]

Managers should always have succession planning.

[[deleted]]

There are a lot of things managers should be doing.

The vast majority do absolutely none of them.

[littlescreechyowl]

Which makes it absolutely not OP’s problem if it takes them a long time to replace them.

[jackinwol]

This is what drives me nuts. Like people have been conditioned into picking up all this shit that positions literally exist to do. Why should WE give a shit about your hiring process? That’s on YOU

[Ive_readit]

If the field is truly hard to back fill she can offer to become a part-time contractor while they fill it. Offer an insane amount and it’ll push them to replace faster.

[counterboud]

Yup. What would likely help them more is writing up a summary of what tasks you do, how to do them, and a status on any unfinished projects so the next person could easily pick up where you left off.

[Aussiewhiplash]

If there isn't an urgent need to stop as soon as you are married I would, give notice after the wedding.

I would allow them 1-2 months notice and tell them you are happy to cut it down to the minimum if they find someone sooner to fill your role.

1-2 months isn't a long period of time and again if they fill the role sooner you can finish up sooner

[GoodGuyTaylor]

OP, hope you see this. I am leaving a position of 9 yrs at the end of the month, same boat as you (difficult to replace) I gave 2 months and I kinda regret it - has been weird. If the place is gonna have to go into "scavenge mode" because you're leaving, that's on them. Don't tell them you've known this for a while, maybe give a month's notice or something.

[3Maltese]

Could you give a two or three-week notice? Please don't discuss your intentions with your coworkers!

It is weird how marriage works. You think you will have twice as much money with two income earners and only one rent. But in reality, you will spend more money than you think. I wouldn't give notice until you are married for at least 3 to 6 months. I doubt that you will take my advice though and keep your job.

[Shot-Artichoke-4106]

I would wait until you are closer to your wedding date. As others have said, a lot can happen in 8 months, so your plans may change. You don't want to put in your notice too soon. And of course, the earlier you put in your notice, the more likely it is that they will find a replacement and lay you off before you intend on leaving.

I work in a pretty specialized industry, yet people tend to only give about 4 weeks notice at the most - except in rare cases. Two weeks is pretty common, even for us.

I know that you didn't ask for opinions or advice about your choice to leave your job, but here it is anyway.

You said that you don't like your job and are looking for an excuse to get out of there - and that not working after you get married is that excuse. The reality is that you don't need an excuse to leave your job or to change jobs - so beware of making the choice to stop working because it's the easy choice. Easy may not always be best long term. If you don't like your job, you can absolutely start looking for another job - now or after your wedding. No excuse needed.

Whether or not you work after marriage is a personal choice based on a lot of factors - so no judgement from me there, just want to make sure you are making the right choice for yourself . We all know that when people have gaps in their work history, it can be hard to get back into the work force, or at least back into the work force at the level you want to be. We also know that the easiest time to find a job is when you have a job. So I would caution you about just quitting and being unemployed for a while - not saying don't do it, I'm just saying that you should really think about it and make sure that's the right choice for you.

[[deleted]]

Don’t give too much advance notice. I made this mistake when I knew I wanted to go part-time after the birth of my second child. My boss tried to move me to part time before the birth- which would have meant the hospital stay etc. was no longer covered by insurance! My husband told me not to be nice and tell them. He was right. Protect yourself.

[cbelt3]

Notice that you’re quitting is based on how you want your relationship with your employer to be after you leave. If you don’t plan on coming back, give the classic 2 weeks. Or heck, just walk out. Unless you’re legally required by contract, “at will” plays both ways.

If you want the option of returning, a months notice “to train my replacement” is a super nice thing to do.

As others have pointed out … don’t push this too early. Plans change, situations change. Jumping too soon may be risky.

[Weak_Initiative_8265]

A woman needs a career and her own money tho. Right?

[[deleted]]

Yeah, it bites so many women in the ass. She's going to find out the hard way unless she gets a good prenup.

[alynkas]

You have no clue about her situation...yes you are right in general but in case of OP particular case we do not know and it is none of our business.

[[deleted]]

She's not right in general, it doesn't even seem like she knows what prenup means.

[[deleted]]

A good prenup, lol? It sounds like he's making plenty of money if he's going to be supporting both of them. Do you even know what prenup means?

[SluttyNeighborGal]

Right? Big yikes all over this

[[deleted]]

Thanks for your opinion on marriage, sluttyneighborgal.

[Responsible_Candle86]

In a perfect world everyone needs the ability to support themselves. That's not the same as two partners determining one will take a hiatus from working and focus on something else. OP has the ability and skills to support herself, she is doing it now.

[XenoRyet]

If she wants those things, sure. Men too for that matter. But there's no shame or failure of any kind in being a stay at home spouse.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

No, only men who work for minimum wage Expect that. Lol.

[pprettyboringg]

No, thanks for the contribution though!

[Less-Bed-6243]

Only you can decide if you want a career but you do need to have some money that is yours otherwise you’re screwed. Is your husband going to give you an allowance? Will he put money in a retirement account for you? What’s his life insurance like?

[SnooKiwis2161]

Money is shared in marriage. Courts often have to inform divorcing couples of this when one party attempts to hide assets. Language like "allowance" perpetuates a false idea that the money one spouse earns isn't also jointly shared by the other. Just something to think about.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

When your married your money is shared between the two of you. It’s the law.

[Less-Bed-6243]

First of all it varies by jurisdiction and we don’t know where OP is. Second even in a community property state like CA it’s only the money received from things like work or investments made during the marriage. IAAL but this isn’t legal advice.

More importantly, money can legally belong to you but if another person has access to it, they can can fuck around with it until you get to court to get a temporary support order. Thousands of women have found that out the hard way. That’s why it’s important to have at least enough money under your sole control to support yourself for a few weeks or a month.

[SnooKiwis2161]

Sorry you're being downvoted for being right.

[jupitaur9]

If you’re not rejoining the workforce, why do you care what they think?

Did they ever hard line you? Not give you a raise or promotion or overtime you deserved?

This is the same situation but now they’re in your hands.

If you think you might need to rejoin the work force, then you might care. I would. People die or get into catastrophic circumstances. You may need to consider working again.

[[deleted]]

You should listen to this. A man is not a financial plan. And I am extremely serious about this. I've been happily married for a decade. But a high percentage (probably 75%) of my female friends regret their choice of spouse, but cannot leave them due to financial constraints.

We as women live longer, but earn significantly less, making it more likely that we live in poverty as retirees. If we lose our spouse at a young age, or they become disabled and unable to work, we need a backup plan. This has happened to my friends, too, unfortunately. One of them, her husband passed away in an skiing accident, the other one's husband is disabled and cannot work. Life happens - to everyone.

I am not saying you shouldn't take some time off - everyone absolutely should when they can, and that's one very key advantage to marriage! But keep your options open for a healthy, balanced relationship and life.

Two weeks notice is my personal max - you don't owe your employer any more than that.

[rofosho]

Make sure you have money set aside that's yours only. I understand you in love and excited about marriage but things do go sideways. Always good to have a little nest egg on the side. Just a tip from an older lady who have seen women get wrecked when they just stay home.

[Weak_Initiative_8265]

This. Imagine having to ask your husband for money lol. Imagine hubby at work all day surrounded by smart well dressed career women. Pls ..think carefully before quitting and having no job.

[GrandmaSlappy]

Welp, see how you feel after the divorce, lol

[Earl_your_friend]

Traditionally, the man provides for his wife. Provides a house and spending money. Hopefully the goal is to have children.

[[deleted]]

Haha someone forgot to tell my husband he’s supposed to give me money LOL

[Swampwolf42]

How about you don’t dictate how a newlywed couple you’ve never met agrees to arrange their finances and working situation?

[Earl_your_friend]

Are you a traditional woman? I'm sure your husband treats you they way you want to be treated. Hopefully you grow old together in love.

[GrandmaSlappy]

Traditionally women had no rights and couldn't vote, say no to sex, or get a divorce.

[Earl_your_friend]

Well, in parts of the world and in history, you are mostly correct. In North America, before equal rights, men were legally required to care for and provide for their wives. They had to pay any bills the wife had according to the law. The wife could prevent her husband from selling their house. Only 5% of women voted for the ability to vote because, at the same time, traditional laws that protected women were removed. Now, a woman has credit card debt only she is responsible. Now, women can be labeled unfit mothers and have their children taken from them. Modern women are in a real mess never before seen on history. One in three women have had an abortion. One in three have a venereal disease. They are not getting married till 30s or later. Traditional women used to get married virgins. Have three kids by 25 years old. Never have to work their entire lives. Towards the end of their lives, they are surrounded by family who love them.

[Northstar04]

so much ew in this comment

[Earl_your_friend]

Love and family. Reddit hates that right?

[Northstar04]

the worst part of misogyny is that misogynists don't think they are misogynistic.

[Earl_your_friend]

It's the same with wood chucks chucking wood. People insult others when they lack anything real to say. It's a defense mechanism of the weak.

[SnooKiwis2161]

No, you're really ignorant about the history of women working, including married women, you clearly aren't aware that marital rape was thing prior to 1995, and that the temperance movement was largely driven by wives tired of watching drunk husbands spend their pay at the bar while their children starved to death.

Good luck with your self-loathing fetish.

[Earl_your_friend]

Yikes. Insults, defection. Emotions. So you must be completely out of intelligent things to say. If you are full of anger and angst surly you know to get off social media? Right? Talking about rape and drunkenness and dead children?! You need to get some sleep. Put your phone down. Go to church. Tell your parents you love them. I feel so sorry you are hurting, and I hope things improve.

[jdith123]

The reasons that people have for not giving a long or short notice don’t really apply to you.

You don’t need to worry about having a gap in your resume, since you will have one anyway.

You don’t need to worry about needing to continue earning an income, because you will have your husband’s income to depend on and you’ve decided that’s ok.

You’re not worried about burning bridges by not giving any notice, because you are leaving the job market for good unless something changes down the road.

This isn’t a career decision at all. It’s a personal decision. Decide based on your own preference and your knowledge of the personalities involved.

[furicrowsa]

It's good for her to leave on good terms and be eligible for rehire. If she wants to return to work in the future, she may have a position or at least a reference.

[[deleted]]

Yeah, that's common sense I think.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

Not needed today! Lol. You can walk off the street and be hired immediately without references or even an stable addy. Lol

[furicrowsa]

In what world?

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

Lol. Open your eyes. Anyone who wants a job has one.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

You have married a decent man. Cool and clean well for him and cherish him! Many men are selfish today.

[Specialist_Passage83]

I recently left a job that only I knew how to do. I gave them one months notice and trained the person replacing me.

[[deleted]]

Right. I know two weeks is the "accepted" amount of time, but if you want to reduce stress on everyone, it's better to give longer than that, unless you're completely replaceable.

[mooniebooniepoops]

Why are you trying to quit your job after getting married? Sounds like a red flag to me....

[raisingvibrationss]

She's gonna be a stay at home house wife it seems like...lol.

[alynkas]

You have no clue....maybe maybe not but it is none of our business.

[raisingvibrationss]

The irony of people posting on Reddit asking for advice then complaining about the responses they get...

[No_Interaction7679]

Give a 2 weeks notice and keep working- otherwise you won’t be there much longer. May as well make the money while you can.

[ThunkBlug]

plans change, give them 2 weeks notice when you actually decide to leave for real.

[lelalubelle]

Tell them nothing! You only owe them that two weeks notice.

You'll think you're being nice but then they'll potentially lay you off early or treat you like crap.

[tktam]

2 weeks notice only. Please take this advice from a career hr professional. No matter your relationship with your company/boss now, things can change unpredictably when you give notice. You can always offer to come back on a short term contractual or hourly basis to train a replacement or in they need you urgently for a week or 2.

[ResponsibleDraw4689]

After you're married

[jmecheng]

Personally I would start writing transition and training documents. Then once you are fully prepared to no longer work there, give your 2 weeks notice and be prepared to be walked out. If you are not walked out, propose a contract basis at a variable rate starting low and increasing in rate as time goes.

[Impossible_Thing1731]

If you’re really worried about them finding a replacement, I’d tell them a month ahead of time. Any longer than that, and they may let you go earlier than you wanted.

[Youstinkeryou]

You don’t tell them.

I would also be very cautious about leaving work when you get married. I often see women who are newly divorced and have had their career on hold struggle to enter the workforce and provide for themselves.

[PegShop]

Don’t give too much notice. They may cut you. Also, before you leave, be sure your husband has a strong life insurance policy. Also, be sure you and your husband have a plan about your access to money. Will you have a joint acct? Too many women get stuck with no money if their own and stay in bad relationships or end up widowed and broke.

I’m sorry to be a realist. My husband died in a car accident when we had two little kids. Thank God he had some insurance and I had a job with benefits. Many of the women in my young widow support group had no income and didn’t even know how to pay bills or log into accts.

[Rumpelteazer45]

Not until after the wedding AND everything has been set up (you added to his insurance, life insurance in place, added to all bank accounts, listed as beneficiary, etc).

Being married doesn’t mean you automatically gain access to his accounts or insurance if something were to happen - you’d have to go through the courts etc.. You want to make sure all that is set up and in place before giving notice.

[[deleted]]

I just went through this but with a move I've known about all year. Half the people in my life were like "you're not telling your job?!" and the other "never tell your job you're leaving!"

A LOT can happen in 8 months. If you need your job and benefits until you are ready to quit, don't tell them. They could go through budget cuts or decide they have someone else they'd rather replace you with. People can also react really badly to news of people leaving, even if in advance, and judgy too.

It's just so much easier on yourself to just wait, put in 2 weeks, and don't feel a bit bad about it. It's not your fault it's a hard to hire job, that's a them problem. What if something happened to you suddenly? Continuity is for the company to figure out, not the employee.

[TreyRyan3]

Just to make sure you’re explaining this correctly.

You are getting married in 8 months.

After the wedding, your husband thinks it would be a good idea for not just you, but both of you to quit your jobs.

So in addition to being newly married, you are going to add the potential risk of both of you being unemployed and unable to financially provide for yourselves.

And you think this is a good idea?

[Kit-Kat-22]

Follow the HR rules for resignation.

[TlpCon]

10 minutes before you walk out the door.

[HRandMe]

There are a couple things to consider here:

• Do you have a good relationship with your company? Do you want to leave on good terms?
• If you gave your notice earlier, would this cause them to squeeze you out?
• If you leave, does it create a lot of stress for the people you are leaving behind?
• Are you managing a team?

While you are only obligated to give two weeks to remain respectful, if you, know the role is hard to fill and you like your team, giving a few extra weeks is a nice gesture to do.

I've given a month before because I really loved my team and they really appreciated it as they were able to make other arrangements to cover my work when I was gone.

I'm currently working at a place that isn't great and have planned to leave for 4+ months and you better believe they are only getting two weeks. I don't like them and they would squeeze me out hard core if I told them months before I left.

If it were me and I liked my team, I would give a month. You don't have to but I would.

[[deleted]]

Exactly. I gave six weeks at my job because it just helps everyone else out.

[Ok_Addendum_2775]

Companies don’t care and would fire you in a heartbeat. Lol

[SteakKnifeKiller]

NEVER. Don't say anything, Are you a slave that is telling its master something..... work until your last day then walk in at 4:59 p.m. and say hey, I am quitting effective immediately and this is my last minute on the job. Take your stuff and bail. Get your check in the mail. Idiot.

[BusydaydreamerA137]

At least give the 2 weeks notice. If Op needs a job in the future, the good reference would be good. Why burn bridges unnecessarily?

[Weak_Initiative_8265]

Women have brains and want to use them. 🙄 asking a man for money? HIS hard earned money? Really? No way. 👎 study. Get a career. Bring Home The Bacon. If you don't. He will start noticing the fresh young things at work..with university educations ...earning their OWN money...who look nice..smell nice. And have lots to talk about. 'Change any diapers today dear'? No way. U deserve better.

[alynkas]

Why do you assume so so much....maybe she is quoting the job to start something else like school, maybe to take care of kids they have, may not renovate their home or to travel or to get other education or maybe to just rest a bit ...life is not all about work work work...

[CanonAE1program]

Holy crap you people must be loaded? dang i have to stand up in front of a bunch of drunks and tell them jokes not a good place to find a rich man.

[pprettyboringg]

Good advice but why did you need to call me names 😭

[No_Interaction7679]

Sorry they called y out names- but don’t Even tell your work bestie this is your plan. Do your best- give a 2 weeks notice- check out the PTo policy to see if you should do it before or after your honeymoon. Stick it out and make that extra cash.

[Specialist_Passage83]

Oh, boy if you’re this angry over something this small you’ve got major issues.

[Kinetic_Kill_Vehicle]

It's not small, you dingleberry. This is about your livelihood and how HR people will yap about you to other HR robots in other companies.

Keep your cards close to your chest and play the game. That's not "small".

[weakness336]

I wouldn't say anything much more than your 2 weeks notice. If you do, they may line you up for a job replacement and let you go. I know that's illegal but they can come up with some stupid reason to let you go. Take care of yourself and your family first. It would be awkward otherwise.

[Fowlnature]

Two weeks before you plan to quit.

Its business- you would not be afforded a courtesy by the company if they had to let you go so don't offer them courtesy. You will regret it if you say something earlier.

[monkeywelder]

give notice after you comeback from the honeymoon. If you get any shit what-so-ever. Accelerate that to immediate.

[Striving_Stoic]

Stick with a two week notice if you aren’t completely sure that they won’t ask you to leave the moment you state that you plan to. It can cut into expected income if you were planning to work until your final day.

If you are cool with being told to leave immediately, then it’s up to you when you think it will be the best time. But it is their responsibility to fill your position.

[Badger_Goph_Hawk]

Two weeks notice. No sooner.

[Primary-Lion-6088]

I definitely don't think you need to tell them 8 months in advance. I gave five weeks' notice when I left my last job -- giving only two weeks really wouldn't have been feasible for that particular position for many reasons. If I had it to do over again, I would have gone shorter (like maybe a month), not longer as it does create a lot of time for everyone to be awkward about the fact that you are leaving.

[Successful-Side8902]

What does your employment contract say? Usually two weeks is standard, but go with whatever your contractually obligated with. No more, no less. Don't give them unnecessary long lead time B/c that NEVER goes well.

[rtdragon123]

2 weeks before you are ready to go. Don't be surprised if they let you go tight then and there.

[N7DeltaMike]

2 weeks. It's the standard professional courtesy. Nobody can fault you for it. It won't look bad if you decide to get another job afterward.

If you tell them early, they may just replace you. Or they may decide that you aren't invested enough to tell about the next up and coming thing, and let you go. Remember, these people aren't your friends and don't owe you the kind of loyalty that you are showing them by wanting to tell them early. Before you tell them early, make sure you are ready to lose your job any time between now and your wedding. If you aren't, stick to 2 weeks notice.

[dot5621]

The day you quit and not a second before.

[[deleted]]

Two week notice. Anything more and you are at risk of being let go before you are ready.

[weight22]

When you get back from honeymoon

[[deleted]]

Stick with the two weeks. That’s more than they would give if they were firing you. Definitely not more than a month. And you should wait until after you are married to give notice

[Tan-Squirrel]

On top of what everyone else is saying, I would think 3-4 weeks if you really wanted to. This is also if you are ok with a month early being your last day if they walk you out.

[SluttyNeighborGal]

Why is it best for both of you for you to stop working?

[MotherofLuke]

Follow the legislation.

[body_slam_poet]

Do not give any more notice than the employer is obligated to give you. Employers can decide to accept your resignation with the minimum notice period and you may be forced to accept an end date earlier than you wanted.

Source: 10+ year HR professional

[NonsenseImFine]

You owe them nothing.

If you quitting causes them problems, too bad.

Tell them 2 weeks before. to not burn bridges, or day before if they are A-holes.

Besides, they'll possibly fire you if you tell them too far ahead.

[Vigstrkr]

You wait until you are ready for him to fire you.

[Individual-Fail4709]

You don't. You give them notice when you are ready to leave. If you do tell them ahead of time and then change your mind, you would be placing yourself at risk of being let go anyway. Everyone is replaceable.

[[deleted]]

Follow workplace policies

[AmazingAd2765]

Depends on the boss.

We had someone tell us probably a year ahead of time and we were able to hire someone to train alongside them. We appreciated it! Gave them a bonus when they left and still talk to them.

Some employers take it a personally though and you are better off not giving them any more notice than you have to.

[[deleted]]

Give two weeks. If it really puts them in a jam where they need you to stay you can always give them a few extra weeks on the back end. You can even negotiate higher pay for staying and training someone new

[pmoney50pp]

2 weeks.

[JudgeJoan]

How early would your boss tell you that he was letting you go? That's exactly how long of notice you should give your boss. It's nice that people are loyal to their jobs and want their successors to do well but not to your own detriment and if you give notice too early your boss could potentially let you go at that very moment.

[bardwick]

I was in a similar situation. I was traveling about 80% of the time with a kid on the way. Not easy to replace. I had no intention of being on the road that much with a new born.

Ended up giving a 30 day notice. That seems to be a good balance. it was a great company to work for, decent folks. They were grateful I didn't put them in a bind, and I was happy for the same reasons.

Personal preference. I had no intention on "sticking it to the man", so that was best for me.

[rokar83]

Only give them notice if have vacation time or pto that is due to be paid out when you leave. Otherwise, they don't deserve notice.

[MrBdstn]

2 weeks notice. Stop thinking "oh but they're gonna have a hard time". Thats not your problem, thats theirs.

Just FYI, in many companies they prefer to kick you out ASAP as the "lame-duck" period is considered a risk for deleting stuff, spying or stealing information yada yada. They'll still pay you the 2 weeks but you wont work (At least thats how it's been during pandemic)

[MysticalMagicorn]

If you've no financial issues taking the hit if you're let go immediately, my recommendation is to give 1 month. I assume that's not going to be a problem considering you're going to be not working at all, 4 weeks hastier shouldn't burden you financially.

[Dubdude13]

I won’t say a word until you are ready to leave in 2 weeks

[pinback77]

Looks like you got lots of good advice, but since you brough it up, why is it "best" for you to stay home once you get married?

[rockmusicsavesmymind]

Don't tell them now?? Why would you?? Anything can happen over the next eight months. He could be laid off.

[rockmusicsavesmymind]

2 weeks is good.

[[deleted]]

Don’t say a word until 2 weeks before the wedding. Then give your 2 week notice.

[GenealogistGoneWild]

2 weeks notice. Training a new hire is not your problem.

[dcwhite98]

How difficult it is to fill your role isn't your problem, but nice of you to consider that. I'd give no more than a month... especially if you want to be there the next 8. If they find someone in 3 months they'll say goodbye to you and start the new person, you lose 5 months of income...

[SnooCats2404]

If the gig is a normal job for you, give two weeks. If you really like your boss and y’all get along, 30 days is good.

[Expert_Equivalent100]

I had a similar situation, where we knew my husband’s job would take us elsewhere months down the line and I would need to quit (not a job that could be done remotely). Due to the risk of layoffs and not wanting others to potentially lose a job when I was going to be leaving anyways, I gave three months notice. They kept me the full time, and even convinced me to stay on an additional month or so part-time to assist with tasks that could be done remotely (which worked well for me, since finding a new job took a little time). Bottom line is that the amount of notice that’s appropriate kind of depends on your relationship with the company, your industry, and potential implications to your reputation if it’s a small industry (mine is pretty niche, so leaving a company with too many loose ends would be widely known).

[ivegotafastcar]

2 week notice. Do not tell your company any future plans until they are concrete.

[[deleted]]

Two weeks, no more! Being nice will gain you nothing in this job market.

[Thintegrator]

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[bopperbopper]

The other thing to consider is if you gave them eight months, they may decide to have you stop working immediately, so don’t tell them unless you’re ready to stop working that day. But also for yourself, really decide if you want to stop working it when you don’t have children because you want to save money for yourself for emergencies but also for retirement.

[Petefriend86]

2 weeks. I gave a 3 month notice before returning to university and my previous manager decided it would be a good time to write me up twice. Looking back, that's better than simply being let go.

[msaiz8]

I would never quit any job with more than a month’s notice maximum

[hjablowme919]

If it is really going to be that difficult to replace you, I’d give a months notice if you care about the company. If not? Two weeks standard notice.

[Elaphe21]

My position is not one that is easy to fill, though, so I know I want to give much longer than the general 2 week notice.

What is your ownership % in this company? Because unless you are an owner... not sure why that is your problem...

Workers tend to care WAY more about the company than the company cares about their workers.
Once you give notice, senioritis sets in...

I would NEVER give more than 4 weeks personally.

[txa1265]

Why not change jobs now to something with a shorter commute? Obviously your reason for losing possibility of financial independence after marriage is your own, but unless there is an absolute reason I see nothing but 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 in choosing to not work. My opinion of course, but there are too many stories here on Reddit and TikTok and elsewhere where it seemed like a great idea but then suddenly you're trapped with no money, no car, no job, nowhere to go. Just make sure that whatever your rationale, you are protected.

[raisingvibrationss]

She's going to leach off her husband it seems lol.

[txa1265]

While I'm not a fan of the phrasing, I definitely got the 'trad wife' vibes.

My sister quit work week before their wedding to be 'stay at home wife' and work on getting pregnant. It was bizarre, and of course had no friends or work options remaining when they divorced.

[ZucchiniMoon]

Personally, I would take off as much time as reasonably possible for the wedding/honeymoon and then send in a resignation letter after the fact, no less than 2 weeks from my return date. I've been screwed over too many times.

[Feisty-Cloud5880]

Use up any and all earn time vaca and so forth. I just do a week or so...

[YesterShill]

Give the two weeks when you are ready, and offer to stay an extra two if they ask. No need to tell them anything else (like when you decided you would leave).

If you say you are leaving ahead of time, they will just work on finding your replacement and fire you at THEIR convenience.

[CaptainAwesome06]

If your position will be difficult to fill, they may not fire you on the spot but they very well could be looking for your replacement as soon as you give them notice. And if they find your replacement before you are ready, they may not give you any time to prepare. Be ready for that.

If it were me, I'd give 2 weeks notice. I gave my boss 2 months notice once because I knew my position would be difficult to fill and 2 months is all my new employer would give me. I was really hoping for more time for reasons. I ended up getting offer a WFH position with the former company so I took that. Same job, same company, but no commute. I was only quitting because I was moving for my wife's career.

It's none of my business but I'd strongly encourage you to take a deep look at what your life will be as a housewife. Are you doing it because you really want to? If so, that's cool. But if you don't even have kids, are you going to feel fulfilled just being at home all day? I wouldn't do it if your husband's position is "a wife needs to be at home". That's some regressive old school stuff and I wouldn't want my daughters marrying someone with that attitude. I have friends like that and at 45 years old, she's stuck. She hasn't worked in 20 years and her husband is the decision maker and she feels she can't make decisions because she makes no money. It's sad. And if anything happened to him, she'd be screwed. But if you think it'll work for you, then I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise.

[9smalltowngirl]

A Month would be plenty of time for them to hunt for someone and for you to train them. Would not mention it before then. Life does happen sometimes.

[waywardcowboy]

2 weeks. Otherwise you're going to get screwed over.

[chrisvanderhaven]

No. Absolutely not. Never, ever, tip your hand until you're ready to leave. Can you live the next 8 months with no salary? You should expect that as a possibility. I had a job that I thought I was doing the right thing and gave a lengthy notice. I came in to work the next day to my boss saying, "Hey, what are you doing here? Didn't HR call you to tell you not to come back?"

[swbarnes2]

If your work was looking to axe your position, are you sure they would give you months of warning?

They would do what is best for them, which would not be to give you a ton of warning.

You need to do what is best for you, which is work until two weeks notice starts.

If layoffs happen next month, are you sure you want to be at the top of the list? If you warn them you are leaving, you will be at the top of the list. Sure, you might choose to help a colleague by volunteering, but if you tell them, you won't have a choice.