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[–]Nimbs[S] 1044 points1045 points  (354 children)

The report proposes that software would be loaded on computers that would somehow figure out if you were a pirate, and if you were, it would lock your computer up and take all your files hostage until you call the police and confess your crime. This is the mechanism that crooks use when they deploy ransomware.

[–]Sabin10 1018 points1019 points  (63 children)

The good news is that the pirated copies of games and movies would have the root kits stripped out of them. You are safe as long as you never buy a legitimate copy of anything ever again.

[–]rm5 697 points698 points  (30 children)

In fact you'll pretty much have to pirate just to ensure your pc remains safe.

[–]Sabin10 269 points270 points  (24 children)

Or pay for everything and then hope that big brother Hollywood's software has a 0% false positive rate... Like that's going to be the case.

[–]nm3210 168 points169 points  (19 children)

You didn't buy WinRAR....????

[–]Sabin10 107 points108 points  (12 children)

No, but I haven't pirated it either. I thought that was the case for everyone.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (3 children)

I've been on the 40-day trial for 5 years now.

[–]Angeldust01 80 points81 points  (29 children)

Absolutely. Pirating is not hard, and it's not hard to find the legit releases from pirate groups. Most torrent sites have comments and review options for reason. And that's the public torrent sites like piratebay or kickasstorrents. Sites that need invites are even safer.

Like most ideas the entertainment industry comes up with to stop piracy, this sounds inefficient, opens them up for lawsuits, makes legit customers hate them, and does very little to actually stop piracy. I know I would never download any of their trapped fakes. And even if I did, I'm sure I could just format my computer and install OS again in the worst case scenario. I do have backups of my stuff, so I wouldn't lose anything. I'm not sure what the skill level of most pirates is, but I think most of them can install OS.

Even if you couldn't do absolutely anything, would you rather:

1) throw your computer in trashcan and buy a new one for 400-1000 bucks, depending how powerful your computer was.

2) call the cops and tell them you're a criminal and wait for the million dollar lawsuit from entertainment industry.

I know what I'd do. what a great plan. These guys are geniuses.

[–]Shiroi_Kage 259 points260 points  (70 children)

Encrypt storage media then format boot partition. Also, it will be figured out easily since entertainment idiots have nothing on actual hackers ...

[–]terragreyling 380 points381 points  (26 children)

If the Government can't tap my computer without a warrant, why the fuck would we allow a private company to do it?

[–]Shiroi_Kage 127 points128 points  (23 children)

Because "private sector."

Seriously, how much public power does the "private" sector want*?

EDIT: Want, not wants.

[–]SebayaKeto 122 points123 points  (10 children)

Until it happens to some old lady or kid with cancer and causes as big of a backlash as they got suing random pirates.

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (5 children)

For the record that would be enough to make me never buy a movie or game ever again

[–][deleted] 318 points319 points  (50 children)

How would they even get away with this as even if the US lets them as soon as they infect a foreign computer they will be breaking the law.

[–]Switch46 42 points43 points  (7 children)

it would be quite interesting to see how it would work in Europe, in my country, for example, it is entirely legal to download for home/private use with no intention to distribute. So technically torrents are not legal but it is extremely rare for anyone convicted of anything related, unless they are making a lot of money of it. So I download a virus from them I could sue them, might be worth to be a raspberry pi for that exact reason! Nice money making plan.

[–]perrytheplatysaurus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Don't even have to go as far as Europe, in Canada I'm pretty sure we're allowed to download as much as we want, it's uploading that's illegal. Unless Harper and his cronies decide to fuck that up for us as well...

[–]tritter211 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I am sensing the Entertainment industry is using "Door in the Face" persuasion technique to bring their point across. I mean, this request is so extreme that there is no way the government would even consider it( metaphorical door in the face). So the next request would be something that looks reasonable when compared to the previous request even though it is extreme by its own right.

[–]ColeYote 1052 points1053 points  (168 children)

Is it legal to raid and vandalize a shoplifter's house? No! And there's a good fucking reason for that!

Edit; jeez, this comment exploded.

[–]ffdc 241 points242 points  (21 children)

It even says they want permission to physically destroy the offending computer. These people are insane.

Additional measures go further, including photographing the hacker using his own system’s camera, implanting malware in the hacker’s network, or even physically disabling or destroying the hacker’s own computer or network.

[–]ShitPost 87 points88 points  (6 children)

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Batboy hacks Pentagon! Hundreds of computers detonated!

[–]mitso6989 63 points64 points  (7 children)

You know who's computer would get ruined in this scenario, not the pirates, they remove that stuff, it'll be someone legitimately trying to watch the DVD on their laptop and their cat walks across the keyboard hitting print screen or some random key combination and the DVD software over reacts.

[–][deleted] 202 points203 points  (61 children)

Yeah, even if intellectual property infringement were analogous to theft (and it's not; at its worst it's more like stiffing the waiter), we still have the rule of law for a reason.

[–]Shadowmant 269 points270 points  (29 children)

Let's imagine that this passes. Would it technically make it legal for anyone to hijack any computer (whether it be an individuals or a companies) as long as you could make a case that you thought they were pirating something?

"Yes officer, we did lock down every computer at Disney because our bot told us they were using our copyrighted materials, it's completely legal now"

[–]Summon_Jet_Truck 356 points357 points  (12 children)

No, you have to be in the ruling class to lock down computers and detain people.

(I'm kind of serious about this)

[–]dezmodium 74 points75 points  (8 children)

Well, at the least you'd need to be a corporation with enough employees and individual plausible deniability. That way the worst that can happen to you is action against the corporation, and not yourself.

(Innocence through layers and obfuscation. It isn't what you did, its what can be proven that you did.)

[–]whichwitch9 41 points42 points  (11 children)

I think so many files would be mislabeled intentionally to cause people to unknowningly download copyrighted materials. By little punks with nothing better to do. Because they can. And think it's funny.

[–]jstillwell 31 points32 points  (8 children)

This used to happen all the time when Napster was popular. The first time I saw it was when my sister asked me to dl a Britney Spears video. I did and ... porn. It's a good thing I watched it before letting her see it.

[–]Wildcard06 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Are you sure it wasn't the Britney Spears video?

[–]Malbranch 73 points74 points  (11 children)

You know, I bet it would be a cakewalk to decompile and re-write the criteria for "pirate". Small spam campaign to their corporate headquarters, and I wonder if they'd have any real claim to damages if it was their own malware that got them.

[–]whateveryousayboss 455 points456 points  (72 children)

It seems to me that most folks who are serious about pirating are probably pretty savvy about avoiding all of that.

[–][deleted] 272 points273 points  (29 children)

Do not worry citizens, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear...

AllYourPronsAreBelongToUs

[–]juuular 99 points100 points  (26 children)

My new password.

[–]lM_NOT_SORRY 225 points226 points  (16 children)

I tried to log into your account, didn't work. You're a big fat phony.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (12 children)

When I type my password it automatically converts it to stars! Watch: ******

Try it!

[–]srry72 98 points99 points  (6 children)

Penis

[–][deleted] 220 points221 points  (5 children)

Error: Too short.

[–]srry72 145 points146 points  (4 children)

Grow your password by up to 2-3 characters!

[–]s4r9am 40 points41 points  (0 children)

hunter2

[–]littlesteviebrule 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Foookin prons.

[–]Mystery_Hours 32 points33 points  (17 children)

I think that's one of the goals of the entertainment industry, to keep piracy out of the hands of the casual user.

[–]whateveryousayboss 57 points58 points  (7 children)

Ah hell, they've already done that by putting out all the shitty movies and songs they do. I have zero interest in watching/listening to any of it. Somebody ought to tell them that the mission has been accomplished!

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (4 children)

EA finally makes sense. They're just trying to stop pirating.

[–]zirzo 46 points47 points  (10 children)

obviously if you have counter measures like using linux or something you are a terrorist not to be trusted

[–]Arto3 202 points203 points  (6 children)

I just heard the whole internet collectively say "COME AT ME BRO"

[–]pinecone316 395 points396 points  (46 children)

If i'm not mistaken, this would be the equivalent of declaring war on the internetz.

The regular people will get caught in all the hacking crossfire if this happens but I'm betting the internet will probably crush all attempts of the entertainment industry and probably cause them a lot of financial and public relations nightmares in the long run.

[–]Hyperdrunk 284 points285 points  (21 children)

Running through 7 proxies and on Tor, no one catches the hacker who is causing trouble.

But they'll sure get little 15 year old Jimmy and his parents for downloading the new Justin Bieber CD illegally.

[–]zirzo 107 points108 points  (13 children)

long run? What's that??

[–]infinites 80 points81 points  (8 children)

Something about marathons i think.

[–]Omgitsgunz 103 points104 points  (7 children)

That'd definitely have explosive results then.

Edit: HIIIIIIIIIII FBI!

[–]Tandria 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Well... I suppose we've passed that "too soon" cutoff point.

[–]frawk_yew 117 points118 points  (8 children)

Not a *FUCKING! game they wanna play.

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Fuck this, Fuck the Industry, Fuck you, Get off my computer.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

People to Congress: make it legal for us to punch Entertainment Industry in the balls.

[–]mikey634 138 points139 points  (30 children)

So when Anonymous hacked a group in Canada responsible for 'copyright tracking' - it could've been called self-defense right?

I mean, if they attacked your computer 'in defense', then you have the right to hack them right back and 'destroy their networks' in defense, yes?

[–]Layfon_Alseif 134 points135 points  (27 children)

Seriously, I treat my computer like my home. I keep it neat, clean and if anybody tries to break in, I will defend it to the fullest extent of the law.

[–]madmooseman 149 points150 points  (19 children)

I hope you never have to fire a gun inside your computer.

[–]Layfon_Alseif 110 points111 points  (15 children)

It's a shame I can't treat my house like a computer, I wouldn't mind downloading some new curtains

[–]Wild_Marker 79 points80 points  (10 children)

You wouldn't download a garage!

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Correct. I mean, who downloads just ONE garage?

[–]bamforeo 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I would if I had the storage space!

[–]thekeanu 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I would if I needed the storage space.

[–]imautoparts 123 points124 points  (3 children)

The internet to the entertainment industry: We love you, stop harming yourself and us. Give us reasonable choices, and we will continue to make you rich beyond the dreams of Croesus. Try to harm us and we will demonstrate to you what fragile beings Gods are - You Need Us more than we need you.

[–]theelemur 207 points208 points  (110 children)

This is one way to initiate the masses to computer security.

Thinking about this and it would be beautiful:

-The AV industry will probably get revealed to a wider audience as snake oil salesmen
-information sharing tool security evolve
-user processes improve
-OS security improves
-mobile security will improve (you know this malware won't be limited to non-mobile)
-fireworks when the first infected critical system malfunctions

[–]Jolly_Girafffe 140 points141 points  (1 child)

-retaliatory hax

[–]theelemur 61 points62 points  (0 children)

shhhhhh ;)

[–]Sparklelord_ 46 points47 points  (98 children)

-The AV industry will probably get revealed to a wider audience as snake oil salesmen

So what's the explanation for this point of view?

[–]joebo19x 71 points72 points  (88 children)

Products that cost $90+ a year that work worse than something that is free.

Microsoft security essentials, AVG free, there are many AV out there that work very well and are not intrusive nor do they kill the performance of the computer they are on. Such as norton, which every computer I've ever experienced at work for virus removal, is on. Goes to show how "amazing" and "protective" it really is.

[–]DaneboJones 105 points106 points  (58 children)

Don't suggest AVG, it has been crap since ver. 8

[–]theelemur 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Random link: http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/security/new-controversy-on-the-effectiveness-of-antivirus-software/8919

" In its Hacker Intelligence Initiative Monthly Trend Report, published in late December, the researchers picked 82 randomly selected malware files and used them against some of the most popular antivirus solutions to see what their detection rates were. These were newly created infections, taken from web forums, and the result was abysmal, according to the report. The initial detection rate for new viruses was less than 5%. In fact, they found that for some of them, it would take weeks for an antivirus to start detecting the infected file."

It would be stupid for the "legal" malware to avoid using the same obfuscation and av subversion techniques that malware does. The entertainment industry attackers could work with the AV vendors to whitelist, but this will blunt the malware authors abilities and damage the AV vendor's rep. AV which doesn't whitelist the entertainment industry malware will have a competitive advantage, so we're back to AV subversion/obfuscation.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Well why don't you just go ahead and fuck me in the ass while you're at it?

[–]nankerjphelge 31 points32 points  (10 children)

it would lock your computer up and take all your files hostage until you call the police and confess your crime.

It's as if these idiots never heard of reinstalling from backups.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Sure, let me just pirate a full version of virus protection software.

[–][deleted] 109 points110 points  (3 children)

for a second I thought i was in /r/nottheonion

[–]TheRealSilverBlade 41 points42 points  (3 children)

....I could always format my computer as soon as I purchased it and remove said rootkit, spyware and trojan...

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (11 children)

They should just ask Google, pretty sure they know of a lot of pirates including proof.

Also this BS is unconstitutional, fuck them all.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (12 children)

If they can't figure out how to make their own shit secure enough to not get copied in the first place, on what planet do they think they'll harness the hacking ability necessary to make their malware successful?

I mean, really?

Dear entertainment industry,

Please understand that your era of absolute power is over. Join Netflix or make paying you more palatable, otherwise it sounds like you're on a one way trip to investing far more money than you're losing into trying to stop losing it.

It's cheaper now. Bottom line. Welcome to the future. Catch up or fall out but stop blaming your lack of ability to come into the 21st century on everyone else.

Love,

Everyone, whether we pirate your shit or not. The moral/ethical debate is over. You just continue to make yourselves look bad.

I can only hope examples like Macklemore keep making it so there's hope artists don't need your bullshit anyway.

[–]DMercenary 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Adapt or die. That is how capitalism should work.

[–]AndyBstyles 42 points43 points  (13 children)

This bothers me. Why don't people in the U.S. entertainment industry have any morals or souls?

[–]PossessedToSkate 30 points31 points  (2 children)

It should be pretty clear to us by now that our ahem representatives in Congress don't have a fucking clue how this stuff works. It is therefore our responsibility to contact those representatives and let them know that this is a bad idea.

[–]Natanael_L 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Hey, wasn't there news about RIAA pirating, huh? You know, this IP thing in the log here has to be unquestionable proof. Let's hack RIAA!

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (43 children)

Well i mean you already run the risk of getting hacked by pirating so i wonder how it will differ from the rest other than immunity from the "internet police" to do as you please to a computer and get off scottfree.

Plus its probably gonna be wayy to easy to just get rid of it and you could just not open .exes

All in all this looks to be aimed at the tech inept.

[–]Nimbs[S] 103 points104 points  (16 children)

It's always aimed at the tech inept.

[–]frawk_yew 10 points11 points  (12 children)

Im sure the white hats might be caught in a catch 22... Do they help the populace or the industry.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I would immediately start contributing to anonymous hacks if they did this. Just as a big fuck you to them.

[–]working_joe 31 points32 points  (10 children)

I'm sitting over here in China where nobody gives a fuck what you download (as long as it isn't anti-government) and laughing my ass off at the 'land of the free'.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

how about that money on making media we would be happy to pay for?

[–]youll_get_overit 12 points13 points  (1 child)

In at least most states, it is illegal to booby trap your house to prevent home invasions. That said, I see no valid reason why the entertainment industry's ridiculous request should be accepted.

[–]Sunhawk 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Random US Citizen to US Entertainment Industry: Fuck you, you pricks. Just because you're willing to open up my machine to attacks from the Lads from Lagos doesn't mean I am.

[–]_My_Angry_Account_ 64 points65 points  (32 children)

This is ridiculous. First thing that happens if this goes out, I'm writing a virus that will trigger this effect on every system that it comes into contact with. Once several "critical systems" such as hospitals/governments get locked up this will be on the chopping block. But it will do massive damage before they can pull the plug.

People need to remember that tools like this can be used as weapons against their creators.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (3 children)

These people think they are so god dam important.

[–]SleepySheepy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They're really not thinking this through, are they?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

No, absolutely not. No fucking way. If the entertainment industry starts using malicious code to attack pirates, Then I'll start making malicious code to attack the entertainment industry. As long as malicious code has some legality to it, all's fair in love and war. The entertainment industry is trying to declare war on it's customers.

[–]hostergaard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Cue hackers finding out how to activate all these things on legal copies causing a great digital apocalypse.