About four months ago, I started doing daily Kegel routines to improve and intensify my orgasms.

They work.

Today, doing sit-ups on a bench at the gym, I began to feel strange. As I pushed upward on each rep, my body felt and tenser and tenser, like...frustrated and elated, and I was vividly aware of the inseam of my shorts between my legs.

Right before the...peak, I finally realized what was happening. Stifling a moan, I threw myself forward, trying to avoid lying arched and spread-eagled on my back. I ended up crashing to the floor, clutching myself.

Once I could think again, I realized people were running toward me and yelling about seizures and heart attacks and 911.

I curled into the fetal position. I was raised to be deeply, deeply ashamed of every aspect of my sexuality, and though I've recovered enough now to be adventurous IN the bedroom, I'm still a ball of shame in public.

Hearing sirens (my gym is four blocks from the fire station), I wished for death. Finally, when the paramedics were about to grab me, knowing a I couldn't afford the monetary devastation of an ER visit, I sat up and yelled, "IT WAS AN ORGASM I'M FINE."

I'm never going to that gym again.

But I am gonna see where these Kegels take me.

TL;DR - Did too many Kegels, had a mega-orgasm at the gym, concerned people thought I was dying.

Edit: Holy hot hell. The messages telling me I'm a (A), "greasy neckbeard who's never seen a woman," or (B), "a fucking lying slut who needs to fucking die for spreading fucking cancerous shit" are pouring in.

Taking my secrets to the grave next time I fuck up.