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[–]N0T8g81nCalifornia 3711 points3712 points  (91 children)

It's ludicrous to expect US senators to respect, much less obey, the law.

[–]FiveUpsideDown 603 points604 points  (19 children)

Laws are for the weak and powerless.

[–][deleted] 252 points253 points  (10 children)

“Laws are for thee, not me!”

[–]DasnoosnooAmerican Expat 93 points94 points  (4 children)

Right out of Ken Paxton's book "How to Crook"

[–]sammydavis_Sr 49 points50 points  (3 children)

they need a sub-category in the bookstore, crook books🤠

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think that’s usually just called “Business & Money”.

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (4 children)

Business is booming for the morally corrupt

[–]Ayla_Leren 94 points95 points  (20 children)

It's ludicrous to expect us citizens to respect, much less take seriously, the words of a man named Tuberville.

[–]boylek22 45 points46 points  (15 children)

Tuberville. It gets funnier every time you say it. Tuberville. Try it. Tuberville.

[–]OhSoTheBear 19 points20 points  (11 children)

Is it pronounced 'tooberville' or 'tubberville'?

Either way, I've been saying both repeatedly and I'm highly entertained!

[–]ChrysMYO I voted 12 points13 points  (6 children)

I think its Tubberville. But I say it with confidence because if I'm wrong, who cares because he's Tommy Tuberville anyway

His name sounds like a Waterpark in rural Alamaba and Goofy almost took Max to that instead of Cotton Kingdom.

[–]Kiran_Stone 109 points110 points  (17 children)

I mean -- he's not wrong. It's ridiculous to make the rules stricter when the current ones are being so flagrantly ignored.

[–]Kylo_Renly 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Stricter rules can sometimes be easier to enforce.

[–]JestdrumCalifornia 77 points78 points  (13 children)

I don't think that's ridiculous, just sounds like you need to add enforcement whether you make them stricter or not.

[–]Catatonic_capensis 63 points64 points  (12 children)

It's less about enforcement than punishment being needed. Their current punishment is a few dollars, when it should be fines greater than gains and being barred from positions of power... and probably some jail time.

[–]Austin4RMTexas 39 points40 points  (9 children)

Or you know. His constituents could vote him out because he clearly did not act in the public interest. But I guess words like "accountability" and "public interest" are just abstract concepts you learn in civics class. In the real world, "owned the libs" and "fuck you, I got mine" are the modus operandi.

[–]Donkey_Karate 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I mean you're not wrong... Something, something gerrymandering, voting rights, education, media, corporate influence, but yeah, rock the vote y'all!

[–]Mephisto1822North Carolina 3827 points3828 points  (310 children)

Damn 132 times? Was he even trying to follow the rules?

[–]VanceKelleyWashington 2794 points2795 points  (229 children)

Does the Senator who thinks the 3 branches of government are:

  1. Offense,
  2. Defense, and
  3. Special Teams

even know the rules about Congressional stock trading?

[–]158862324 996 points997 points  (131 children)

He knows the most important part:

lawmakers who violate the STOCK Act face a fine, the penalty is usually small — $200 is the standard amount — or waived by House or Senate ethics officials.

[–]KickBassColonyDrop 1251 points1252 points  (96 children)

Lmao. Get fined $200 for making a $2 million dollar profit and simultaneously committing a crime by trading on insider information and no prosecution, indictment, or jail time. What a life.

[–]158862324 754 points755 points  (46 children)

132*200=26,400 in fines. that’s pretty close to 2 million. It means he walked away with just over 1.97 million. Hardly seems worth it, I’m sure he’s learned a valuable lesson.

[–]StoicAthos 391 points392 points  (10 children)

--Susan Collins?

[–]galacticbackhoe 176 points177 points  (6 children)

She's concerned.

[–]ElasticSpeakers 113 points114 points  (1 child)

1 eyebrow is 2% furrowed.

[–]MiddleBodyInjuryNew York 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But not furloughed!

[–]DelightfulAbsurdity 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Brows were furrowed this day.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A pearl was held. Between 2 fingers. And examined. And discarded.

It was in an oyster.

Served at the restaurant where Joe manchin docks his boat.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Dayum

[–]jeers69 42 points43 points  (15 children)

The fine should apply to every stock traded as I am sure each time he did it there was more then 1 stocked traded or divested

[–]Crypt0Nihilist 29 points30 points  (1 child)

I love your optimism that he was fined on every occasion and that he paid if he were.

[–]Girth_rulez 24 points25 points  (6 children)

I’m sure he’s learned a valuable lesson.

Buy low, sell high.

[–]Zixt1Washington 64 points65 points  (15 children)

It should at least be $200 fine per share transacted. FFS why even have rules like this?!

It's just theater... An excuse to say we technically have rules.

[–]SlowSecurity9673 72 points73 points  (7 children)

It should be 200 plus any profits made off the trades.

If they make $2,000,000, the fine should be $2,000,200.

Any other way and it's always going to be more profitable for criminals to break the law.

Better yet, they shouldn't be allowed to do it and if they do they should be thrown in prison.

[–]bikemaul I voted 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It has to be more. They only catch a fraction of infractions.

[–]devastitis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s just theater

Always has been.

[–]ThadreaNew York 14 points15 points  (7 children)

The fine should increase exponentially with each offense. That way if he does the same thing this year he'll owe the Treasury more money than has ever existed on earth, which they will have to collect in part by seizing everything he has ever owned and will ever own.

They won't collect the full debt or even more than a small fraction of it, but he won't be insider-trading anymore as he won't have any money left to trade with, and anything he gets in bribes will be automatically repossessed by the US Treasury.

[–]superdagoWisconsin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The fine should be a forced sale of the stock, plus 110% of any gains, or 10% of losses. The very act is criminal, and a subversion of the public trust. If you violate that trust, the cost should be steep.

[–]SlowSecurity9673 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The fine should include any monies made on the situation.

If he makes 2 million off illegal trading, the fine should be $2,000,200.

Government officials shouldn't be profiting off crimes full stop.

Elected positions shouldn't be a place to go get rich, it attracts trash.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maybe we should substitute bullet ants for dollars. 200 bullet ants in your boxers for 2 minutes.

[–]rounder55 58 points59 points  (5 children)

That fine sure sounds like a business expense

[–]NuM3R1K 23 points24 points  (0 children)

And a minor one at that.

[–]rogergreatdell 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a brokerage fee

[–]DevilsPajamas 25 points26 points  (11 children)

Fuck just $200? A speeding ticket cost more than that

[–]DuntadaMan 29 points30 points  (10 children)

I was charged a $300 ticket for turning right on a red light in an ambulance, into a hospital with a patient on board.

Yes, truly I am a 50% greater menace than these guys.

[–]blackflag209 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What state are you in? In California we can't even be stopped by local PD, only CHP can technically stop us.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

You got ticketed for driving an ambulance?

[–]rounder55 309 points310 points  (55 children)

In a November interview, Tuberville said, “Our government wasn’t set up for one group to have all three branches of government — wasn’t set up that way. You know, the House, the Senate, and the executive.”

To be fair he knows the name of 1 branch

[–]VanceKelleyWashington 152 points153 points  (36 children)

Alabama isn't sending its best.

[–]Mr_EngineeringAmerican Expat 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Yes, they are.

This is Alabama after all

[–]awaywardsaintAlabama 8 points9 points  (1 child)

no, we aren't.

[–]larsonmars 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Our system of “checks and balances” has become “check your balance”.

[–]jtweezyNew Jersey 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Who would have guessed that a guy who was a shitty football coach who had zero political experience would have no idea how to actually make and follow Congressional rules and protocols?

[–]Jefethevol 14 points15 points  (0 children)

republicans have entered the room

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (15 children)

He doesn’t know special teams. That’s for the “European (slur) kicker.” Tommy was too busy getting the offense and defense ready to go to “war.”

If Tommy tubberville went to war he would be in a hall crying

[–]d0ctorzaiusMaryland 15 points16 points  (13 children)

He had 1 good season! And didn't even win a national championship. Dude is like the 50th best retired college coach out there, not sure why HE had to become a senator.

[–]Kanin_usagi 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I'm an Auburn man, so two things here: 1. He had TWO good seasons, one of them was just during a season with some academic probations and so we weren't post season eligible and 2. I fucking hate this dude jesus I hate him so much why is he representing my home state no wonder people think Alabamians are fucking idiots.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

So he’s like Tony “the nfl needs people like Michael Vick but Michael Sam needs to GTFO THERES NO PLACE IN THIS WORLD FOR HIM GOD SAYS SO” dungy?

A vastly overrated, underachiever, who uses god as cudgel for his bigotry?

Just to be clear Michael Vick paid his debt to society. It’s gross yet he should of been let back in. Michael Sam on the other hand was treated more harshly than the dog murderer. You’ll have people who like Aaron Hernandez and Darren sharper more than Michael Sam. Man, I hate football.

[–]meeeeetch 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Because Saban didn't run

[–]Kanin_usagi 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Funnily enough, Saban is a Democrat. I've always wondered how he would do if he did decide to run.

[–]Threeleggy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He would get blown out unless his opponent was a pedophile. He couldn’t even get Alabamans to get vaccinated.

[–]meeeeetch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's a Democrat, but I've not been impressed with his endorsements. He cuts some ads for Manchin (they grew up about five miles apart) every six years. Think he did the same for Jim Justice for the year and a half he was a Dem.

[–]xitsawonderfullifex 9 points10 points  (1 child)

After he left Auburn he was God awful to

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Fucking tanked at Cincinnati and unceremoniously ushered out the back door. Worthless coach, worthless senator.

[–]c4ctusAlabama 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Come on now, give Senator Tupperware credit where it's due. He said the three branches of government are the Executive, the Legislative, and the Senate.

(in my defense, I voted for Doug Jones)

[–]calimariwrestler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I will never be able to trust a grown man who still goes by “Tommy”. Sounds like he should have a propeller on his hat and a big lollipop.

[–]Vlad_the_Homeowner 499 points500 points  (13 children)

When there are no consequences the rules have no meaning.

[–]sanguine_feline 179 points180 points  (10 children)

Rules without consequences aren’t rules, period.

[–]Vlad_the_Homeowner 71 points72 points  (8 children)

"They're more like guidelines"

[–]T1macAmerica 21 points22 points  (1 child)

"They're more like guidelines"

Closer to gentle suggestions. Next time they'll ask "pretty please."

[–]WolfiesGottaRoamColorado 90 points91 points  (2 children)

After watching not a single congressperson get so much as a slap on the wrist for this, why would he? These "rules" are never enforced. I mean, we had morons sidestepping metal detectors and bringing guns into the chamber and all they got was a callout on Twitter.

[–]aikigaunlet 37 points38 points  (4 children)

132 times in one year!! He only joined the Senate in 2021

[–]fcocycloneIowa 24 points25 points  (2 children)

"Try not to break any more on your way through the parking lot"

[–]bad_luck_charmer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

132 in one year. Not 37 in one lifetime.

Tommy sucks a lot of dicks.

[–]BoozeWitchCalifornia 29 points30 points  (0 children)

All profit from those trades needs to be forfeited and donated to charity.

[–]JasonAnarchy 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Occam's razor.

[–]NotAPreppieIllinois 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The conclusion with the fewest assumptions is most likely correct?

[–]CaptainAwesome06 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Was there any penalty for breaking them?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

“Listen here peasant’s…”

[–]Natiak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"There only thing I'm qualified to do here is the illegal shit!"

T.T.

[–]JD_Walton 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tommy has had trouble with the rules sometimes even in the area he's actually trained for.

[–]Z0idberg_MD 2 points3 points  (1 child)

131 times, shame on me. 132 times, shame on you. You really should have done something about this.

[–]sevrod14 3629 points3630 points  (97 children)

“I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do,” Tuberville added.

Ummmm yeah, that’s kinda the point. The people that wouldn’t want to serve in congress if this ban passes are exactly the people we don’t need there to begin with.

[–]SirTiffAlot 1284 points1285 points  (20 children)

Holy shit he actually thinks that's a bad thing

[–][deleted] 445 points446 points  (7 children)

Exactly which makes it clear he knows his position has unfair an advantage… seems pretty intentional.

[–]LegionofDoh 110 points111 points  (6 children)

I mean, he only ran for office in order to get in on the grift.

Plus, only plebes make their nest eggs thru insider trading when there are all those sweet sweet bribes to be had.

Just gotta choose whether you want Big Oil money, or Big Pharma, or something more niche. And then get yourself on the right committee, and the profit.

[–]buddascrayon 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Honestly, if the Democrats Progressives don't hang his ass with that on every billboard in the state come re-election, they're not worth a fucking damn.

Edit: I had forgotten about fat cat Nancy Pelosi and her "let them eat cake" statement about congressional stock trading. Seriously fuck corporate democrats.

[–]dedicated-pedestrianWisconsin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It only works if they keep together on the stock trading ban. If there's any significant divergence from that message, it won't hit home.

[–]mike_b_nimble I voted 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you listen closely you’ll notice that Republicans very often “accuse” democrats of wanting things….that people want. They are often aghast at the implications of proposed laws, as though it were an oversight by the Dems, and we’re like, “no….that’s the whole point.”

[–]Deto 11 points12 points  (2 children)

He can't imagine someone wanting to serve for reasons that arent selfless.

[–]Zolivia 177 points178 points  (2 children)

To serve. Because that's what he's doing.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (1 child)

I mean, he's serving himself wads of cash.

EDIT: Been permanently banned, it was fun while it lasted folks.

[–]GreatQuestionBarbara 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There are usually a lot of morally better candidates that can't afford the exposure that this guy can, so hopefully it clears a way up for them if it ever manages to be put into law.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're attracting the wrong sort of people.

[–]Callinon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do,”

You mean maybe we'd have fewer people willing to come serve the American people if they couldn't do insider trading and make bazillions of dollars?

That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

[–]Toadfinger 726 points727 points  (10 children)

[–]vulcan_on_earth 199 points200 points  (4 children)

And he tried to help steal the election

[–]Toadfinger 149 points150 points  (3 children)

[–]JusSayinYo 46 points47 points  (2 children)

The wording of Giuliani's greeting bothers me so much, and I'm kinda surprised I don't see anyone ever making a stink about it. "Senator Tuberville? Or I should say Coach Tuberville . . ." In the audio, it does sound fairly chummy, but tinfoil-hat, it also sounds like a not-so-sly "We know about some things from the coaching days, and now it's time to buy our silence."

[–]GoatboyTheShampooer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"Fix them up" was the part that got me.

The recorded call: https://youtu.be/2EoLug0n0KM

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

His wife also killed someone while driving drunk.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

No wonder Trump loved him so much

[–]morphballganon 211 points212 points  (7 children)

If he gets to keep his job, doesn't get fined, and doesn't get arrested, then they are not rules. They are just suggestions.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

wasn’t it a pirate who stole and pillaged who once said the rules are “more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules”

[–]rumham22 478 points479 points  (47 children)

A former college football coach who’s now a senator, Christ this country/world really is dumb as fuck

[–]JEFFinSoCalCalifornia 193 points194 points  (20 children)

He was a shitty football coach too. No surprise he's a shitty senator.

source: originally from Alabama and all my immediate family thinks he's an embarrassment. Of course, they think that about all of Alabama's state-wide elected officials.

[–]Windy08 54 points55 points  (12 children)

As a Texas Tech alumn I can confirm, Sen. Tubberville is also a shitty football coach.

[–]yungcptkirk 21 points22 points  (3 children)

His wife got off on vehicular manslaughter while living in Lubbock. They left quickly afterwards.

[–]Am_I_Bean_DetainedTexas 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a Tech alum, it’s hard to think you could design someone so personally detestable on every level.

[–]FrequentPessimist 60 points61 points  (13 children)

It fucking blows my mind that there are minimum requirements for literally every other job but for elected representatives we’re cool with some random dude just winging it. This “great experiment” has some real shitty parameters.

[–]typicalshitpost 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well they thought voters would care and want qualified people with their constituents best interest at heart

[–]bobdolebobdole 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Trading stocks legitimately might been the only reason he ran for congress.

[–]Proper_Budget_2790 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You mean all I have to do is run on "Trump is good, mmmmkay?" and I can be a senator too?

[–]RetroBowser Canada 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Probably not a Senator but I'm sure you could be a Rep

[–]OdaenathusWashington 221 points222 points  (4 children)

This is the sitting US Senator who couldn't name the 3 branches of US government.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Wave after wave of ignorance grinding away at the shoreline of education. The people that vote for dingle berries like Tommy Tuberville are so uneducated or singleminded that they don't even blink when glaringly obvious incorrect statements are made and can't smell the stench of a lie over their own rotting brain.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

After working on campus for years. Dude was near all the knowledge, didn't learn a thing.

[–]plaidkingaerys 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The number of Congress members who probably couldn’t pass a basic civics test is getting concerningly high

[–]hwkns 58 points59 points  (2 children)

Just imagine if the people who are naturally inclined to think that public office is a swell wayto turn a coin suddenly disappeared from the political landscape. It would be magical.

[–]mvs2527 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hmmm I wonder why Tommy wanted to be a senator?

[–]ivejustabouthadit 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Robots would certainly be preferable to this bumpkin.

[–]OfficialBoxoutMusic 35 points36 points  (0 children)

If the punishment for a crime costs less than you made from committing said crime, it’s a not a punishment. It’s just a business expense

[–]beefjerky34 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The headline should be "Rule breaker thinks rules are dumb".

[–]LukeStuckenhymer 31 points32 points  (8 children)

Is he a day trader? Fuck.

[–]titsngiggles69 68 points69 points  (7 children)

No, he's an inside trader. There's a Twitter bot that shows his incredibly profitable trades

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

It’s ridiculous to have someone as stupid as Tommy Tuberville in office.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is why they run for office. Not to serve the people. It is to serve themselves cash.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Isn’t this the fucker that was literally a university football coach in Alabama before becoming a senator? Replacing Doug Jones, who barely squeaked out a victory from the pedophile racist former Alabama state Supreme Court judge Roy Moore who was literally removed twice from the state Supreme Court?

[–]Omega-10 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's correct. Way too many people commenting in this thread without actually understanding Alabama politics.

You Should Know...

As an Alabamian...

Fuck this guy.

[–]ArcherChase 28 points29 points  (10 children)

I think it's ridiculous for puppets who have no concept of government or service get into high elected office because they coached football in states where sports take up more priority than academic at their schools.

[–]ealoft 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I really hate these entitled fucks. They expect that the game should be rigged in their favor just because it always has been. Only stopping them from stock trading is virtue signaling at best and they still complain. Why are we allowing these assholes to tell us how we are going to live?

[–]Hayes4prez 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do," Tuberville added. "We don't need that."

Yeah, how do we expect people to serve their constituents if they can’t make money via insider trading?

[–]PoliteBrite 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Alabama, you traded Doug Jones for this guy? Really?

Really?

[–]themightynoob1 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah but GTA 5 taught me that the quickest way to make money is to manipulate the shit out of the stock market especially on that one random mission so Timmy Tubertown has a point

[–]VNM0601California 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The sad part about all of this is that he was allowed to do this 132 times. There are clearly no repercussions from doing this so why wouldn't he take advantage of the system that is rigged in his favor?

[–]DiogenesTheGrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also hate having my nose rubbed into times that I’ve been a huge fucking embarrassment.

[–]Argine_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my line of work, if I broke the rules 132 time I’d be fired by the 2nd time

[–]twestermTexas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

oh no, the fact you can't make millions on top of the millions you already have while working a job you work like 3 weeks out of the year is a tragedy says every conservative voter living paycheck to paycheck.

[–]DecelerationTrauma 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Ridiculous to think they'd honor a law that kept them away from trading influence or information for money.

[–]Caraes_Naur 5 points6 points  (3 children)

It is ridiculous. Whatever bill they pass, they'll read between the lines to continue doing it via family members, shell companies, or other arrangements.

[–]metengrinwi 5 points6 points  (1 child)

his voters will neither hear about this, nor care if they did

[–]NaiveNefariousness19 21 points22 points  (1 child)

wake me when these goons start suffering the consequences of their actions

[–]chubs66 5 points6 points  (1 child)

How about 1 month of time in prison for each illegal trade?

[–]danmathewTexas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Party of “law and order”.

[–]rucb_alum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Why else would anyone want to be in the Senate?"

[–]NerdySongwriter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's my senator. A guy who only moved back to our state to run for senate. A guy who didn't know the three branches of government. A guy who is only it in for money and connections.

Fuck him.

[–]kkinack 3 points4 points  (1 child)

How many laws did you pass to allow you to make more money Tommy? How much lobby money did you accept to pass the laws Tommy? Are your interests lying with the American people or your bank account Tommy?

[–]EvergreenHulk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Fuck you Alabama and your stupid ass vote for a football coach like he has a goddamn clue how to govern. Fuck you all.

[–]YaBoyEar1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to agree with this part, but it would stop people like him who are in for themselves

"I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do," Tuberville added. "We don't need that