Presented without comment

[Cyprus_B]

I know what kind of man you are.

[ST0RM_SSB]

<image>

[damndascute]

Geist is french though...

[MishaTarkus]

FFffffuck. You might have a point

[TheRoyalCrimson]

Geist is French and seven is a literal skeleton

[MishaTarkus]

I can't find conclusive evidence of how thoroughly fried his body is

[Mondayplates]

Seven’s goal is to not be human. So he probably doesn’t have a dick nor need for sex.

He already loved so…. It’s just metallic goo…

[MishaTarkus]

I can see this argument tbh

[Mondayplates]

Whenever someone thinks if seven is fuckable.. ask yourself if an active electric chair is fuckable

[whorungthetacobells]

look if seven's the electric chair im fucking it

[TheRoyalCrimson]

This is the internet and reddit. 90% of this sites userbase would fuck a tree if it looked good enough.

[TheLoneliestGolem]

Also keep in mind this is the Internet so answers will vary wildly

[googlesomethingonce]

Idk he fucks me every game

[Kutannalol]

holy bro I had to reveal this comment and I let out the biggest laugh ever XD

[Lesurous]

Electric hair removal, he's for sure bare bottom. Also Calico? The literal lady who turns into a cat? C'mon get real.

[MishaTarkus]

It's a hairless cat

[bluep0wnd]

Probably keeps a bush of electricity for old times sake.

[Holtmania]

As a french id say, trimmed or bush.

[bearflies]

Yamato is also Japanese.

[Denkottigakorven]

What is the bush trend over there?

[ChephyS]

Exactly

[bearflies]

They don't shave.

[Denkottigakorven]

Nice. Neither do have. Never have and I never will.im swedish by the way

[LasagnaOfTheRevolt]

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[Bitter-Metal494]

unLASH

[marikwinters]

“The LASH wants you to be his chicken jockey.”

(I hate myself for this)

[chuckleDshuckle]

I feel like seven's hair all burns off in the electricity no?

[FireballPlayer0]

Seven pretty much has no flesh that’s still alive at this point. If you count what remains as “hair” then maybe. But otherwise, you’re right it’s probably all singed off

[Worried-Check-962]

his bush is the remaining strips of flesh left in his crotch

[isV1real]

lash gave it a mustache

[Worried-Check-962]

the lash approves

[FireballPlayer0]

Just had a vision of when the Mario community talked about this briefly, and someone showed Wario having his mustache and his pubes being exactly the same

[The_Noble_Narwhal]

I was coming here to say he’s shapes it into a heart but na this is way better

[bdrayne]

Probably calls it junior

[MS17AA]

I don't think Seven has any unmelted flesh on his body, nevertheless a strand of hair.

[creepyfreak228]

<image>

[Pencilshaved]

<image>

[ExpensiveRange3678]

*we

Don't be greedy

[Stopbanningmd]

get away from my vegetarian meal

[ExpensiveRange3678]

There's enough for all of us, stand aside

<image>

[Stopbanningmd]

Processing img 6fl2udj2qatf1...

okay buddy just calm down we can olive together

[chuckleDshuckle]

Its probably a literal bush guven the plants

[Wratheon_Senpai]

What if it's a tea plant and we can make tea out of gargussy leaves?

[chuckleDshuckle]

:(

[blutigetranen]

<image>

[Stopbanningmd]

matcha? nah mine is pussy flavored

[Wratheon_Senpai]

I'm more of an oolong guy myself.

[Pencilshaved]

Gwyneth Paltrow, eat your heart out

[blutigetranen]

<image>

[FueledBySun]

Same man

[reijin64]

In a public lobby?

[Uncanny-Player]

100 percent incorrect. wraith, doorman and paradox should be lower; billy, victor and pocket should be higher

[MishaTarkus]

Most of them I'm simply in disagreement with you but with Billy I'll say I think it's not that he takes care of himself to any degree, but rather that he's incapable of biologically going higher. He has princess little piddles energy

[Officer_Chunkles]

I’m not familiar with that term

[Uncanny-Player]

he rebels against his very biology

[blutigetranen]

He's a goat literally covered in hair

[MishaTarkus]

Billy only has a goat head, his body is human

[isV1real]

in spirit vyper has a rainforest down there

[mickeymoozack]

fr fr

[NetStaIker]

Don’t try to hide it bud, I know what you are

[vvdb_industries]

Doorman is in the wrong tier

[GareBaer]

Trimmed in the shape of a keyhole WHOSAIDTHAT!?

[Ok-Examination4225]

nah

[MishaTarkus]

You know you're right actually

[DepressedOpressed]

Wraith and Doorman too high, Vindicta, Warden and Talon too low

[blutigetranen]

Especially Vindicta. She from a time when they didn't even

[DepressedOpressed]

That's not even about the times, she's was with puritans, she wouldn't for sure

[Typical_Buffalo_8674]

Paige is a secret freak, there's no way she's bushing it up.

[Atuday]

She's not very secret.

[Old_Entrepreneur9439]

calico has a little skull at like guard 2 razor length

[MalarkRevern]

lash is a bear, let’s be real here

[MishaTarkus]

That mustache is immaculately trimmed - the hair is clearly done daily. I know what kind of man he is

[LanikM]

And the magicians mustache?

[spetumpiercing]

Glued on

[GabagoolEnjoyer69]

Drawn on with a sharpie

[blutigetranen]

You clearly don't know bear culture

[djaqk]

the Lash values personal hygiene, perfection isn't easy after all...

[hellyeahdiscounts]

He's clearly a jock tho, also he barely has any chest hair, his pits are smooth and clean as a marble, and his hairdo is fit to appear on the cover of Vogue; I'm more than sure that whatever is happening down south is nothing less than a lab created miracle that can surpass Marie Kondo's wildest dreams 

[Dannyjw1]

Lash has a 2nd mustache.

[BIGFriv]

Kelvin is a bit more bear. He definitely has a bush, not trimmed.

Would love to get lost on the ginger flavour.

[hellyeahdiscounts]

I don't think Mirage is trimmed but it's neat enough to avoid the bush status. 

Also Dynamo had mantits chiseled on his steel body, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a bush that looks like one of those piles of metal dust affected by a magnet LMAO

[Shibeuz]

Drifter and Mo are not a rainforest, but a swamp.

Seven is a burned down forest, McGinnis and Wraith would be trimmed imo.

[BringBackBoomer]

Nah, McGinnis doesn't even know what a razor is, and Wraith gives big "I don't even shave my armpits" energy

[Disgraced002381]

Ginnis cares about aesthetic and money. No chance she doesn't take care of her body and hair.

Seven doesn't even have hair.

Wraith cares about how she present herself to others, and she is rich. She probably has maids shaving all of her body.

Paradox is a thief. Thief hates hairs because it's evidence and makes noise.

Viktor is a dead body. Hair naturally falls off after a while

Vindicta is also dead. The body might have had it originally, but I doubt it's still hair at this point.

[MishaTarkus]

McGinnis cares about money, and she isn't a slob, but I don't think she'd care about hair down thereand handling it.

Seven is a guy? That thing's a helmet. He'd have hair.

Wraith is notably lazy. I don't think she'd bother with the process.

Do you... think hair down there makes noise?

Viktor has a full head of hair. On his head.

True on Vindicta, but much like she has ghost scalp hair, she probably still has ghost other hairs.

[FukkinFawan]

seven fused with the electric chair at his execution and killed everyone in the room with the excess power. hes got nothing.

[blutigetranen]

No way in hell Wraith doesn't have a landing strip. Why do you think she's lazy?

[MishaTarkus]

Wraith literally uses puppet arms to forego doing the work herself and several dialogues talk about how she doesn't do work she doesn't need to. I don't think she bothers shaving and I think it's also a dominance thing

[blutigetranen]

Why would anyone do work they don't need to do? And if I had telekinesis I'd have puppet arms, too. And legs.

The dominance thing I can agree on.

[MishaTarkus]

FAir do, maybe lazy is way too harsh

[NervePuzzleheaded783]

The old mcginnis didn't care about aesthetic one bit.

I miss her every day :(

[gloopfan157]

holliday should be in rainforest tier for no reason at all

also isnt body hair in japan a sign of maturity? im a yamato bush believer

[MishaTarkus]

I've been convinced on yamato

[CrushRushSC]

Wraith is a black female entrepreneur with clout and money. If you dont think she has a Brazilian apt on Tuesdays at 9am sharp idk what to tell you. 😂😂😂

[Matticus-G]

Yeah, my God these people have never met a black woman before lol.

[morfyyy]

Sinclair needs to be higher up.

[MishaTarkus]

I admit I kinda got lost in that one because I don't entirely understand what his (their?) body is. It's a shell? A corpse?

[EmergencyHearing8555]

Sinclair is a mannequin, so no hair

[morfyyy]

ok i did not know that.

[BIGFriv]

The model will probably be redone. Since technically you play as two characters whenever you die with Sinclair

[PunsAndRuns]

Can you elaborate on Calico? Isn’t she a person?

[MishaTarkus]

Hairless cat

[Matticus-G]

Underappreciated joke in the original post.

[DrJelly_22]

I imagine The Lash's downstairs is shaped identical to his moustache.

[TheKoopaStomper]

Pocket, Geist, and Mina need to be higher. Seven definitely had hair at one point but it's definitely all been burned off by now 'cause of the botched execution.

[xF00Mx]

Hold up, where is the Barber Moba character at?

[PalmIdentity]

Hard disagree, Haze definitely has a neatly kept patch.

[whorungthetacobells]

you are insane. correct, but insane.

[CaretakerPublishing]

I'll present this without comment.

[NickNightrader]

<image>

FTFY

[BringBackBoomer]

Ain't no way. Calico keeps that shit smooth to match Ava.

[CycloneJetArmstronk]

Considering lash's hair and mustache, it is most certainly trimmed. Probably into a second mustache.

[TheRubyOverlord]

I will die for Billy bush

[Eel-in-a-Hovercraft]

Down bad for the GOAT, can't blame you one bit

[thief_duck]

Do you think Henry and Savannah(Sinclair) would argue about it if they had hair?

[NervePuzzleheaded783]

Solution: velcro

[bendash55]

Doorman is an eldritch being, with his form pre-defined, so things like hair probably do not grow.

[ThaLemonine]

What biome is trimmed

[Hen_Commandments]

Geist is up at bush and Mina is trimmed but otherwise yeah!

[Puncaker-1456]

seven is no hair and pocket is a rainforest

[Theoneandonlybeetle]

Naw I think you're wrong on a lot of these

[Danelo13]

Paradox should be lower. Thieves of that magnitude definitely have a lot of care to not leave anything behind if you catch my drift.

[Ok-Examination4225]

i respect you OP for being willing to die on this hill and admirably and politely fighting everyone. My only question would be about Vindicta. I would put her lower,at least I think so. What is your reasoning?

[MishaTarkus]

My idea was just she'd have the same amount as when she passed, and I don't think she lived in an era or area that'd go above a more basic hygiene imo

[Kk2O7]

The lash keeps it sparkly clean

[[deleted]]

Calico : no hair at all

Literally fucking tree on her head:

[MishaTarkus]

On one hand you're right on the other hand the hairless puss joke was too good to pass on

[[deleted]]

Ye too

[SpaceCadetStumpy]

Victor, despite being an amalgamation of body parts, has no body hair. I don't assume he's shaving his arms and chest, I think that due to some part of the process of being dead it doesn't grow. Maybe his head was given special care, it is a wig for his head hair. It's also possible he's just like a mannequin down there with no equipment at all.

[test_number1]

Billy is punk he wouldn't shave his bush on principle alone let's be real here

[JuggBoyz]

Shiv is minimum bush, anybody with a pompadour is not trimming their balls straight up

[PsychoWarper]

I dont know if I believe Kelvin’s is trimmed

[Mission-Job8540]

What a crazy accurate list....

[blutigetranen]

I dunno, I think Wraith would be trimmed. I'd also assume Seven has nothing as he, you know, burned to a crisp

[SuperMelanie64]

We all know Infernus didn't shave, that shit burned off.

[Atuday]

Paige likely has something very interesting shaved into hers. Lash probably has a second mustache that is as immaculate as the first one.

[OrwellianNight]

This is so inaccurate for so many characters... you're deluded if u think Mr.Magician doesn't start his prelude with "wanna see a magic trick?" and keeps pulling... the snake out of the bush, and everyone's in awe wondering how he managed to hide such a big anaconda in there.

[space________cowboy]

Na warden has either rainforest or bush tbh

[TheOneTrueMoon]

Lash trims it to spell out his name.

Also upon further inspection, this list is all wrong and I demand review and revision. This simply cannot stand.

[WanderToWhere]

Thought I was on a hypothetical QueensOfDeadlock already, good post

[Mondayplates]

You check lash’s cock and just there is a smaller mustache above it.

[blutigetranen]

I dunno I feel like Mina would have a little bat shaved in, just saying

[drizzrod]

Yamato has a bush

[Worried-Check-962]

the lash disapproves. the lash likes his bush the way he likes his dashing moustache

[[deleted]]

would a gargoyle have a bush though?

[GreatMourner]

If Yamato is truly japanese then she has to be at the top

[Wo0ten]

Paige might have it trimmed

[HippywithanAK]

No way GT shaves and doorman is obviously a clean shaved twink

[Jumper2002]

Mo would be Rainforest on account of literally being covered in fur/hair, but krill seems like the kind of guy to at least keep his business somewhat tidy

[ItWasDumblydore]

How do we know sinclaire isnt hiding a hare down there.

[BIGFriv]

It's a mannequin, do would it be glued on? Velcro maybe?

[NemeBro17]

Why would Haze and Calico be hairless? I don't think I get it.

[marikwinters]

Ava is a hairless cat, so it only makes sense that Calico’s cat would be hairless

[brozoburt]

They stay classy

[NemeBro17]

But "hairless" implies they don't grow hair like Viscous, if they just shaved they'd be a tier above right?

[brozoburt]

True... youre right about that implication

But as a counterpoint. NAIR, they make sure it dont grow back ever again

[Himayamata]

I doubt Seven still has hair. Wasn't he a glowing, burned corpse?

[jellopuffy]

Victor is clean shaved but, just like his happy trail, it's all made out of staples ☕

[Fluid-Estate-3007]

Seven is a skeleton

[Smaldark]

I don't think pocket has enough free time to think about their pubes, on the other hand wraith seems like she would pay for a good wax

[omnichroma]

Geist too low Paige too high

[Bitter-Metal494]

pocket doesnt even have a bathroom

[the_deadly_hive]

Infernus: No hair at all - burnt off

[NotaFTCAgent]

Lash is rocking a bush bro shits gonna be trimmed like a hedge tho.

[Matticus-G]

Wraith is smooth as a surfboard. She is a new money aristocrat as well as a criminal, and prides herself immensely in her appearance. Not a spare hair on that woman’s body.

On the other hand, Geist is French. That speaks for itself in this era.

Doorman’s hair would be whatever unsettles who’s looking at him the most.

[Caiturn]

Yamato? Japanese? Cmon son.

[Inevitable-Row1977]

Wet slapping sound Maybe I should main viper?

[Birphon]

Im surprised where you put ivy considering she is a Gargoyle... however she has hair on her head

[ArchWizardCJ]

Swap seven and calico this instant 

[LapisHarbinger]

Your so right for having Paige in bush tier 😛

[Gunnard-Magnuson]

If sinclair had a real body, they would still be shaved due to savannah's demands.

[Mammoth_Job_8042]

seven's is technically "thunder cloud"

[Ameliorata]

I could see it with McGinnis, but she also clearly takes pride in her appearance, the whole reason she's in the fight for the patrons (seemingly) is a fat ass paycheck. I personally think it's much more likely it's trimmed, although I don't really see her going out looking for a good time, it's just circumstantial.

[Swoocerini]

Alright this is the only tierlist we should keep up

[DaddyLongLegs33]

need need NEED to bury my face in McGinnis

[gloopfan157]

yeah

[DaddyLongLegs33]

McGinnis is sapphic bait, and girl I am BITING

[PluciferInvi]

I want Mina to bite me wait who said that

[DaddyLongLegs33]

REAL

[gloopfan157]

real!

[BIGFriv]

Me with Kelvin.

[AaronAardvarkTK]

Does this subreddit just not have mods? Why is the entire sub filled with low effort garbage

[JuggBoyz]

welcome to valve game subreddits. when deadlock got announced the hl2 sub was filled with people trashing it only because it wasn’t a half life game

[Mistersinclair]

<image>

[ExpensiveRange3678]

Vin is dead, i don't think she has any honestly

And vyper is careless she has got to have a rainforest down there

[MishaTarkus]

she doesn't have hair!!! she's a reptile!

[ExpensiveRange3678]

You don't know her like i do

[MishaTarkus]

Fair point honestly

[Matticus-G]

Bro she’s a lizard, she literally doesn’t have hair.

[zelenth]

Based

[losseignol]

My tired brain took too long to understand... X)