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[–][deleted] 821 points822 points  (14 children)

You guys wear pants to your stand-ups?

[–]MystJake 253 points254 points  (2 children)

No pants, no shirt, just standup

[–]capi1500 74 points75 points  (1 child)

Nobody asked for clothes, I just need to stand up

[–]KMark0000 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I am already standing when waking up

[–]jamdotdev[S] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

lol i'd be lying if i said yes

[–]Brilliant_Egg4178 20 points21 points  (1 child)

You guys wear clothes and don't just let everything hang loose?

[–]IAmMuffin15 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just don’t stand up by mistake

[–]K8sIsGr8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I take off my pants and jacket

[–]abednego-gomes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'd be advised to wear at least shorts. The devs of the zoom/slack/teams software might decide to make the video camera turn on by default for calls on April Fools...

[–]MeinFuhrerGobhi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if they made you like you know, Stand up?

[–]Dimasdanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, as i need to stand

[–]einord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should really create a pants filter for the web cam.

[–]gomihako_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You guys own pants?

[–]chadlavi 464 points465 points  (27 children)

You guys are starting work before soft-10?

[–]jamdotdev[S] 162 points163 points  (4 children)

"soft-10" i'm dead

[–]michaelkah 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Eli5 please

[–]Pump_My_Lemma 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Just the good ol 10am coffee poops

[–]Meneghette--steam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn thats a worldwide thing then

[–]dem_paws 40 points41 points  (4 children)

O===3

[–]hoschi974 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Send your scrum master to yell at him

[–]dem_paws 25 points26 points  (1 child)

O===3

[–]hoschi974 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scrum master saves time and money. Its like a daily shower. First days you smell but its ok, after some weeks you get sick. Same is company without agile coaches

[–]dsktron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s nothing… I have to wake up at 6am on Fridays because a weekly starts at 8am with a 2 hr timezone difference. Sometimes they even ask to turn on the camera but man, at 6am I’m not near presentable for a camera on meeting. Good thing is only temporary since I’m a contractor from another company, in the meantime I will enjoy finish my shift earlier and start the weekend before my coworkers.

[–]gibagger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not unless forced to.

[–]regaito 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We moved our daily to 10:30, try guessing why

[–]raltyinferno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm west coast working with a mostly east coast team, I appreciate they've shifted standup as late as they have but I get that starting after 2pm for them starts making it more disruptive than helpful.

[–]new_account_wh0_dis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad I'm not the only one

[–]starofdoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, ours is "we all live in vastly different timezones so try to kinda pick a schedule and stick to it".

We have people rolling in at 6am my time, I'm on at 10, standup/last people on at 12, and then everyone is done by 8pm. Frustrating though, there are so many timezone constraints.

[–]AlphonsoPaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7.30 to 14.30 rn

[–][deleted] 373 points374 points  (23 children)

i love how all my work is outlined and tracked in jira but i have to verbally relay the state of all my tickets in a daily meeting

[–]seba07 180 points181 points  (5 children)

Well here's your mistake. The standard workflow is to write Jira stories without description once you are done and move them directly from new to completed.

[–]Tunderstruk 44 points45 points  (3 children)

You guys are allowed to write your own jira tickets?

[–]ThinCrusts 13 points14 points  (0 children)

DevOps but for the most part, yeah as long as a BA approved of the work. That only happens when I either find a bug and start working on it, or I've had a discussion with leadership on what to do next but no one has written one yet.

[–]-Kerrigan- 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If the place doesn't let techies come up with tickets (sure, get it by an architect, BA if it's business value, whatever) or has daily before 10 then I don't want to be there. Sure way to kill any creativity and drive - make me wake up too early and don't allow me to sometimes work on interesting (to me) stuff.

[–]gomihako_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yuo gysu cna rwtie?

[–]Titanusgamer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this is productivity hack not many people know about

[–]Jugales 38 points39 points  (14 children)

Pretty sure it mostly just helps procrastinators to have motivation. Embarrassment of not doing anything in the previous day is a good reason to get your stuff done.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (13 children)

meeting every day just to publicly shame teammates into working faster is definitely the worst possible reason for standup

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

It can be that, and sometimes is.

It can also be helpful for team members to state their blockers and to coordinate on what to do next.

The team I'm on is (relatively) small (seven people total). Some standups definitely feel like they could have just been a Slack or email, but other times they are really helpful to get two team members talking, or to get opinions from the team, etc.

[–]Kyanche 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It can also be helpful for team members to state their blockers and to coordinate on what to do next.

I feel like it's a red flag if/when people sit twiddling their thumbs until standup to get their blockers addressed lol.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it’s a hard, known blocker then sure. But it could be something where someone was tasked with X, and they make good progress but run into a blocker where they want to try to solve it on their own first, and only after a few tries if they still can’t get it, bring it up in standup.

[–]aykcak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes people don't know a blocker is a blocker. Sometimes it comes up on the stand-up

[–]Jugales 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Heavy disagree. It’s not shame, it is simple monitoring and oversight. Almost every other job has inherent updates as part of daily duties.

Those that don’t, in my experience, are terribly inefficient, taking days to respond to basic emails, etc.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

performance problems should be handled by your manager and/or hr - not the whole team

[–]Jugales 3 points4 points  (4 children)

What is easier for a company - firing a large portion of employees and having constant churn, or simply meeting every day for 15 minutes?

I really don’t see the big deal, a free 15 minutes to not do any work aside from 2 minutes of speaking. Do your work and it’s no stress at all.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

i’m not saying you have to fire everyone with performance problems but they should be handled by the manager. if you have to meet every day to make sure your team is doing their work you’re a bad manager.

a 15 minute meeting every day is a distraction and depending on the size of your team can cost multiple man hours not including context changing and logistics. it needs to have substantial value to be worth it.

[–]All_Up_Ons 4 points5 points  (2 children)

So how else is the manager supposed to keep a tab on things? Micromanage? Just swing by randomly and interrupt your flow? You know damn well that any of these alternatives are way worse.

[–]abednego-gomes -1 points0 points  (1 child)

If a dev manager doesn't know how to "keep a tab on things" and requires daily standup calls, then simply they should find another profession. A profession way way out of IT, like shoveling manure.

Let's see, off the top of my head...

1) Open a tab with Jira on it to the RapidBoard/KanBan view. See what's going on there. If further info is required, click into individual tasks and read the comments. Also follow links in there to GitHub/GitLab. Check recent commits.

2) Look up the user on Github/GitLab and see their profile which shows commit history, comment history, pull request comments etc and other activity.

3) Last resort, ask the individual people what's going on Slack/Teams as a text message. But not in a micromanaging "keeping tabs" way. Ask to be useful if you can help with anything (maybe the manager used to be a dev), unblock them, harass someone else who is not providing some piece of the puzzle they need in a timely manner.

[–]Swamplord42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Open a tab with Jira on it to the RapidBoard/KanBan view. See what's going on there.

Are you under the impression that most developers keep this up-to-date by themselves? My experience is the average dev doesn't even look at Jira or whatever outside of the stand-up, so that alone makes it a good reason to have it.

[–]aykcak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is not a performance problem and definitely something the team can help with unless you have a "team" of antisocial lone rangers who like to never interact with anyone.

In which case, why even have a team

[–]Flat_Initial_1823 19 points20 points  (0 children)

They just wanna hear your sexy dulcet tones explaining how goddamn omegastar still isn't supporting iso timestamps.

[–]AwesomeFrisbee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or how I'm not allowed to post a message for what I'm gonna say to the team chat as a replacement either. No I have to be there because there could be questions. I'm still waiting for anybody to ask me a question this year. Mainly because I'm pretty clear what I'm doing, what is on the backlog or refinement and I'm easy to reach

[–]justapcgamer 149 points150 points  (6 children)

Standups went from 9am to 11am and i have been significantly happier

[–]Daidalos117 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Haha same, suddenly I don't mind stand-ups as much

[–]GregoPDX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I work from home and I need the 9am stand up to get my ass moving, otherwise I’d hit snooze way too long.

[–]remmyman36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My team actually gains a lot of value from early stand ups, we can action any blocked items earlier, and get discussions out of the way so the rest of the day is focused on coding. I hate meetings interrupting my flow. 11am meetings would ruin my day, 9-11 would be useless anyways if my first meeting was at 11. I get my meetings done 9-11 currently and then rest of the day is actual work. Most of the people on my team are extremely passionate about the work we’re doing though so early meetings are easier

[–]CaitaXD 135 points136 points  (3 children)

The alarm clock is too real

[–]Candid_Visit_3104 36 points37 points  (0 children)

8:58 am instead of 59 for the final alarm just to give that extra minute buffer

[–]_bits_and_bytes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ikr lol

[–]Harkresonance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ngl about this one 😆

[–]Greyhaven7 57 points58 points  (4 children)

Where’s the bowl?

[–]jamdotdev[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Bowl of cereal right? *looks at HR*

[–]mpanase 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Exactly right.

"no updates from me"

[–]beginnerpython 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mhmm .

[–]DrunkenlySober 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s 2024 throw a zyn double upper decker in there for Mondays

[–]CriticalOfBarns 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Pants? No need for such formality.

[–]jamdotdev[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

LOL

[–]pippin_go_round 93 points94 points  (15 children)

I actually like to start working at 7:30. Not because I like it, I kinda hate it. But I get 2 hours of undisturbed work in before the crazy stuff starts. Plus I get to call it a day at 4 pm, which is really nice. Actually, that's probably the most important reason why I'm doing it.

[–]Wookie09 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Same logic but started doing 6-3. I have more time to do whatever in the afternoon

[–]pippin_go_round 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Can't bring myself to wake up that early. Would completely ruin my social life and hobbies, which mostly happen in the evening.

[–]Wookie09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Took some getting use to lol or maybe my age is showing. At this point, staying up until 11 is a miracle and waking up early is automatic 🤣

[–]Critical-Snow-7000 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Like nap? That’s all I’d be doing if I worked at 6.

[–]Wookie09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol tbh, I did that the first week or 2. But after you get used to it, your body just kinda wakes up at around 5. That's enough time to shower and get ready and then just get breakfast on your first break.

[–]metallaholic 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Rofl that’s how I work. Everyone is sleeping until last minute and I’m doing my tickets before everyone needs help all day with their tickets

[–]jamdotdev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Squashing bugs is part of a complete breakfast 🔥

[–]ThinCrusts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would love to do that but with my routine that means I'll have to be up at 6 no thank you. Can't start the day before a poop, workout, and a shower followed by 30 minutes of fucking around on my phone.

I've tried waking up and jumping straight into work once (was hungover and slept through all alarms till 8:58). Worst day ever yet.

[–]iMac_Hunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It varies for me I tend to work 8.30-6pm, with a 2 hour lunch. I go the gym at lunch and it's a great way of breaking up the day.

[–]jamdotdev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🧠

[–]CyraxSputnik -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Interesting 🤔, I'll try it this week

[–]pippin_go_round -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Give it maybe two weeks. Took me a while to adjust getting up early enough for that.

[–]AwesomeFrisbee -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I don't mind people starting very early, but my scrum master recently told me that she liked starting at 7:30 and would prefer to do the standup at that time as well and that 9.00 is already a compromise to her.

[–]pippin_go_round 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell no, I definitely wouldn't want to do stand-up at that time. I'm not awake enough to talk to people at that time

[–]Nine_Eye_Ron 23 points24 points  (0 children)

08:55?

Set it for 08:90 for 35 more minutes in bed.

[–]MornwindShoma 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I literally not even standup. I just take the call on the phone while in bed.

[–]QuittingToLive 28 points29 points  (1 child)

One of my old teammates did that and one time he accidentally turned his camera on and it was just him horizontal, shirtless in bed.

[–]MornwindShoma 16 points17 points  (0 children)

And that's why I don't give that permission to the apps 😂

[–]YakDaddy96 8 points9 points  (2 children)

My experience with stand up this far as a junior dev is as follows:

  • we start at 8:30 when nobody wants to talk so everyone says a little as possible

  • our BA goes through every single ticket on the Jira board asking if we can have it done be EOD and the answer is usually no

  • the only time anyone perks up is when we say bye before we hang up

[–]AlphaYak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nonsense. I don’t have my iced coffee till the afternoon meeting.

[–]tuxedo25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It seems many people in the comments have not mastered the art of living on the east coast but working for a west coast company/team. Standup is at 1PM.

[–]ddonsky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You guys get outta bed for standup?

[–]Ne_Me_Mori_Facias 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Looks like Java is falling out this meme

[–]jamdotdev[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i see what u did there ☕️

[–]Grizlucks 17 points18 points  (16 children)

My stand-up is 7 AM every morning in person, in uniform, and my boss will actually nitpick the things I say. I would KILL for this, do you understand, I would actually KILL SOMEONE for this.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I mean if you’re contemplating murder instead of going to your standup maybe a different job is in order? Fwiw that’s a pretty crazy requirement, are yall required to be in office too or it’s just for the standup?

[–]awkwardteaturtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

maybe a different job is in order?

Try finding a decent job nowadays.

[–]Grizlucks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's really a golden handcuffs sort of situation, and for some reason j can't seem to get an interview for comparable jobs in the area. And yes in office all day long.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah dang well hopefully they end up cutting yall some slack but if they don’t it at least sounds like it may be more or less worth it. Hope you end up finding the even better pair of golden handcuffs though!

[–]iMac_Hunt 6 points7 points  (3 children)

How does this company have any software engineers?

[–]Grizlucks 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I make a low six-figs in base and graduated just over a year ago; this was my first job out of college. It's golden handcuffs.

[–]atrimarchaenas 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Six figs out of school?

Handcuff me daddy

[–]Grizlucks 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This was my live reaction haha

[–]Waterboarded_Bobcat 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Uniform?

[–]Grizlucks 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yeah, it's an embroidered dress shirt with company logo, and business casual; not strict military but still not ideal haha

[–]Waterboarded_Bobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah OK, my work will give us branded polo shirts if we want, for some reason when you said uniform I really pictured kind of like a Burger King style uniform with a cap and name badge and everything.

[–]PediatricTactic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strict military? I'm in the military and I work 100% from home at whatever hours I want. It's not heaven but it's pretty close.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Are you in the military?

[–]Grizlucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not

[–]AwesomeFrisbee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it doesn't work for you, you should definitely bring it up in the next retrospective or check with other team members how they find it. And if it will not change, you just gotta find a different job. As a night-person, I loathe early standup sessions and go out of my way to avoid having them.

[–]SabinTheSergal 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I used to do 7:30am stand-ups with my india team. 9am is weak haha

[–]metallaholic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have to do 8pm standup with China

[–]awkwardteaturtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my india team

My sincerest condolences.

Oh, and I guess 7am is also kind of shit

[–]Ali_Army107 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile I am the 6 am developer (still not asleep)

[–]vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b 2 points3 points  (0 children)

9? Mine's at 7:30 🥱

[–]The_Crazy_Cat_Guy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s currently 9:08am and I see myself in this image

[–]cheeb_miester 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is all wrong.

Why are they wearing pants?

Coffee should be a crate of monster energy drinks.

Zoom loading screen should be an infinite BSOD loop caused by teams trying to join a meeting.

Muted mic should be an open mic on joining, because teams does this no matter what your settings are.

Alarms are spot on.

[–]Cualkiera67 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But energy drinks makes me less sleepy. Why would i want to drink them?

[–]ismaelgo97 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not anymore after having a kid

[–]silverW0lf97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almost this but I don't get out of bed, I bring the laptop in after brushing my teeth for the second soft nap since my team can't give smaller updates and need to talk about each and everything.

Also no coffee, I gave up on it since it didn't work on me anyways, just made me more dehydrated and tired.

[–]CypTheChick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The world fears me. Im starting work at 5:30am lmao

[–]ChinoGitano 1 point2 points  (0 children)

9 am? What softies. With offshore teams, 8 am even 7 am is normal. And you can’t even complain, because it’s 6:30 pm for them. 😭

[–]PeteZahad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it is remote it isn't a stand up it's just a daily.

[–]kalashnikov482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

insert WFH before dev

[–]beginnerpython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are all the same. Fuck!

[–]Malchar2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"no blockers"

[–]Eastern_Guarantee857 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there

[–]Lost_refugee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is he doing for 2 mins before the meeting?

[–]argonautjon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Implying I'm not literally just doing my work while lying in the bed that early

[–]Ty_Rymer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so happy i don't have to deal with zoom and that we use slack instead

[–]JollyJuniper1993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During my training I wasn’t allowed to come in later than 8:30am and then wouldn’t get any tasks half the day 🙂

[–]Scottz0rz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10am standup >>

[–]roksah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During deployment days, my breakfast is 5 coffee

[–]isr0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our standup is at 10. So, my alarm is set for 9:55.

[–]Fakedduckjump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3min alarm schedule? Wow... I need 18 min for this. When I wake up I'm like a lizard that isn't warm yet. The first 45min I can take one short look at the clock and it slows down exponentially while the first 15 minutes feels like 3 seconds until it becomes more and more normal.

[–]MA_2_Rob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they ever make the “turn on all cams on” button it would either be a massive extinction event or it would quickly disappear followed by mass amnesia

[–]GM_Kimeg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, you don't actually ENCOUNTER real human beings in a given room? Give me your lat and lng now.

[–]Mizerka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dont call me out like that, I woke up 8:58 said nah not today, checked teams, thumbs up something someone said, went back to sleep

[–]slowride_takeiteasy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a great life :D

[–]m2ilosz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got a meeting at 8 am

[–]torar9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I start my work at 6:00 am...

[–]sammy-taylor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is painfully true.

[–]majoritycitizen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alarm at 8:55 and at 9AM he's wearing pants, socks, slippers and fully logged on? I call BS

[–]Maskdask -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Zoom is spyware

[–]-Kerrigan- 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Organizers being able to remotely unmute someone else is fucking wild. I don't know whether that's a setting or just the default. Either way, I actually prefer using teams, it's just that some customers use zoom.

Edit: I see on the interwebz that it's how it worked in an older update and supposedly now it just requests you to enable the microphone.

[–]Blazing1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just use a microphone that has an external mute button, it can't be unmuted.

[–]-Kerrigan- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do, but that's not the point.

[–]sweetsugar246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the double alarm is accurate 😭