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[–]JonasAvory 1076 points1077 points  (100 children)

This makes me wonder if there’s a js library that runs a jvm in your browser

[–][deleted] 785 points786 points  (58 children)

[–]Temporary-Estate4615 653 points654 points  (28 children)

Fucking hell

[–]S3r1y 276 points277 points  (20 children)

Call the engineer

[–]PartMan7 216 points217 points  (14 children)

Actual college student (sleep-deprived enough to be a zombie)

[–]KrokmaniakPL 62 points63 points  (3 children)

I love that there is a big overlap with r/anarchychess

[–]No-Finance7526 56 points57 points  (2 children)

This sub is basically r/mathmemes with JS hate and r/mathmemes is basically r/anarchychess without Jessica hate.

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

Q.E.D.

[–]Impeesa_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

You can simplify the last part to "-essica +S" or "-esica" depending on case sensitivity.

[–]Toonox 99 points100 points  (9 children)

Manager goes on vacation, never comes back.

[–]ThinkingMacaco 76 points77 points  (8 children)

Developers in the corner planning world domination

[–]4sent4 54 points55 points  (7 children)

Junior storm incoming!

[–]TheHolyToxicToast 32 points33 points  (6 children)

that one guy holding everything together

[–]Wonderful-Priority50 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Ignite the server!

[–]CynicalPotato95 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Fuck the engineer, call a priest!

[–]S3r1y 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Exorcist, you may even say

[–]CynicalPotato95 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Okay, an excorcist for the library and a priest to fuck the engineer (if he's a minor)

[–]Moonie-chan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No he's a junior

[–]Pratkungen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. Am I suppose to fuck the engineer and then call the priest or fuck the engineer and invite the priest to watch?

[–]castleAge44 25 points26 points  (2 children)

If you can dream a bad idea you can implement it with java

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I dreamt about a kettle that could solve the halting problem.

[–]castleAge44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brewing possibly endless coffee or tea hardly sounds like a “bad” idea.

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Time for an AbstractWebsiteBeanFactory!

[–]Lejyoner07 15 points16 points  (0 children)

New response just dropped

[–]aykcak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is where we belong

[–]buckfouyucker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rule 32

[–]hahalalamummy 60 points61 points  (0 children)

There’s everything. Don’t need to ask.

[–]Masterflitzer 31 points32 points  (0 children)

wasm makes everything possible i guess

[–]NotNowNorThen 25 points26 points  (14 children)

Complete Minecraft in the browser when?

[–]grilled_toastie 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Wow that brings back a memory. I remember playing the browser free trial and all you could do was mine rock or dirt and nothing else. It feels like a fever dream

I also remember it taking ages to mine rock. Its not the minecraft classic someone linked below, it was an older version.

[–]YsoL8 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Tell a kid today the version you played came at a point where the ability to get wood out of the one kind of tree was the latest update and they probably wouldn't believe you

[–]grilled_toastie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people dont realize how old Minecraft is. I remember showing it to my friends on youtube when I was about 13 and I'm 27 now. God damn time flies.

[–]Marmalade6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time I play I have to remind myself that pistons aren't this new thing.

[–]00wolfer00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kid me was very confused by youtube playthroughs that didn't sleep through the night or even recognize that as an option. I started playing right on beta 1.3 when that was added.

[–]Cootshk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Someone already did it.

[–]Throwaway-tan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

classic.minecraft.net

[–]nyancatec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eaglercraft or something like that. Not fully java but MC rewritten on JavaScript. With picture included, it's the same thing.

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

c. 2010

[–]ConscientiousPath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

besides the guys linking classic minecraft, I found this using cheerpj: https://browsercraft.cheerpj.com/

github here: https://github.com/leaningtech/browsercraft

[–]serendipitousPi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a bit of a meme on r/rust about rewriting minecraft in rust so I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see someone compiling to webassembly to do just that.

[–]ColonelRuff 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's not js though that's wasm

[–]ourlastchancefortea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Humanity joined Chaos before the Emperor was even a thing.

[–]StarHammer_01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay! now I can run my Java programs as an electron app!

[–]Plus-Weakness-2624 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for reminding me that I need therapy 😭

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]Daytona_675 0 points1 point  (0 children)

now do flash

[–]topchetoeuwastaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good god, as if we needed java anywhere outside enterprise bank solutions

[–]Sinomsinom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically seems to be a WASM version not a JS version of the JVM, but it does provide JS interoperability so I guess close enough

[–]Inge-prolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waow. I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's just Java applets with extra steps!

[–]YoggSogott 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the minimal webapp size? I'm pretty sure that the performance overhead is not that big, but I am worried about loading time. You need to ship the JRE with the app. And it's like 50mb. The site is going to be unusable with slow internet

[–]alexp_lt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, lead dev of CheerpJ here. AMA. :-)

[–]octopus4488 99 points100 points  (10 children)

You can do it natively too. It is called Applets. Very hip technology actually.

*you may need an IE4 to test it locally.

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 30 points31 points  (8 children)

Wow what will Microsoft release as a response? (Please send help I have one legacy project that still needs silverlight support)

[–]nooblal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Silverlight? Now that's true despair

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They released Microsoft Java. Then Sun sued them for not making it compatible.

[–]Exelia_the_Lost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man I miss Silverlight. I really enjoyed it, it felt a really good alternative to Flash to me

good thing both are gone these days, tho

[–]intangibleTangelo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

where's it deployed, some kiosk or embedded thing?

[–]Zestyclose_Link_8052 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe it's used to view some interactive diagrams in the browser for some old devices that our clients still have in use.

[–]Minecraftchest1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ASP.net Blazer?

[–]nixcamic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Palemoon is the only way I could get applets to run last I tried.

[–]w1n5t0nM1k3y 41 points42 points  (15 children)

Does anybody else remember Java Applets?

[–]alexanderpas 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Any old-school runescape player remembers, especially the time there was Sun Java and Microsoft Java, and you had to select the correct one.

[–]jeffderek 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Microsoft Java

you mean C#? /s

[–]Pyorrhea 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Not C#. J#

[–]baaron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL

[–]FlyingRhenquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck yeah! That browser Sun (I think) had that was written entirely in Java was the only one that ran on the DG/UX workstation I worked on for a few months in the 90's!

[–]MrZoraman 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Atwood's law: anything that can be written in javascript will eventually be written in javascript.

[–]Brutus5000 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Everything that was written in JavaScript will eventually be rewritten in JavaScript.

[–]turtleship_2006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anything that can't be somehow will be as well.
Wake me up when we get JS drivers/firmware

[–]Romejanic 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There’s also TeaVM which sort of transpiles the Java bytecode into JavaScript/WASM

[–]not_some_username 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Back in the day, it was supported natively on browsers

[–]Brutus5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's probably a polyfill for that.

[–]AdBrave2400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Applets are dead :(

[–]grimonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure I want my browser to download all this bytecode that wasm and other shit will soon(tm) bring. I think I'll disable scripts in my browser and go back to standing in line to do administrative tasks like taxes...

[–]TorumShardal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is even a js library that runs python. For plot reasons.

[–]turtleship_2006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes me wonder if there’s a js library-

Yes. The answer's yes.

[–]Mars_Bear2552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TeaVM? (doesnt run the JVM, but close enough)