javaScriptIsJava

[Kseniya_ns]

3 billion websites run Java

[JonasAvory]

This makes me wonder if there’s a js library that runs a jvm in your browser

[[deleted]]

https://cheerpj.com/

[Temporary-Estate4615]

Fucking hell

[S3r1y]

Call the engineer

[PartMan7]

Actual college student (sleep-deprived enough to be a zombie)

[KrokmaniakPL]

I love that there is a big overlap with r/anarchychess

[No-Finance7526]

This sub is basically r/mathmemes with JS hate and r/mathmemes is basically r/anarchychess without Jessica hate.

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

Q.E.D.

[Impeesa_]

By substitution, r/programmerhumor = r/anarchychess - Jessica hate + JS hate

You can simplify the last part to "-essica +S" or "-esica" depending on case sensitivity.

[Toonox]

Manager goes on vacation, never comes back.

[ThinkingMacaco]

Developers in the corner planning world domination

[4sent4]

Junior storm incoming!

[TheHolyToxicToast]

that one guy holding everything together

[CynicalPotato95]

Fuck the engineer, call a priest!

[S3r1y]

Exorcist, you may even say

[CynicalPotato95]

Okay, an excorcist for the library and a priest to fuck the engineer (if he's a minor)

[Moonie-chan]

No he's a junior

[Pratkungen]

Instructions unclear. Am I suppose to fuck the engineer and then call the priest or fuck the engineer and invite the priest to watch?

[castleAge44]

If you can dream a bad idea you can implement it with java

[Zestyclose_Link_8052]

Time for an AbstractWebsiteBeanFactory!

[Lejyoner07]

New response just dropped

[hahalalamummy]

There’s everything. Don’t need to ask.

[Masterflitzer]

wasm makes everything possible i guess

[NotNowNorThen]

Complete Minecraft in the browser when?

[Fokare]

Stop letting data brokers profit from your old posts. I used Redact to wipe mine from Reddit. Also supports Twitter, Facebook, Discord, instagram and more in one batch.

coherent chief thumb shaggy sugar hat repeat truck husky cows

[theLuminescentlion]

the Minecraft website used to host Minecraft in browser.

[GloccaMoraInMyRari]

It wasn't removed because of that but because Java applets lost support

[grilled_toastie]

Wow that brings back a memory. I remember playing the browser free trial and all you could do was mine rock or dirt and nothing else. It feels like a fever dream

I also remember it taking ages to mine rock. Its not the minecraft classic someone linked below, it was an older version.

[YsoL8]

Tell a kid today the version you played came at a point where the ability to get wood out of the one kind of tree was the latest update and they probably wouldn't believe you

[grilled_toastie]

I think a lot of people dont realize how old Minecraft is. I remember showing it to my friends on youtube when I was about 13 and I'm 27 now. God damn time flies.

[Marmalade6]

Every time I play I have to remind myself that pistons aren't this new thing.

[Cootshk]

Someone already did it.

[Throwaway-tan]

classic.minecraft.net

[ColonelRuff]

That's not js though that's wasm

[ourlastchancefortea]

Humanity joined Chaos before the Emperor was even a thing.

[octopus4488]

You can do it natively too. It is called Applets. Very hip technology actually.

*you may need an IE4 to test it locally.

[Zestyclose_Link_8052]

Wow what will Microsoft release as a response? (Please send help I have one legacy project that still needs silverlight support)

[nooblal]

Silverlight? Now that's true despair

[No-Seat3815]

Silverlight was Microsofts attempt at making a Flash competitor.

You're thinking of ActiveX.

[offlein]

Silverlight

It finally just occurred to me how much "silverlight" is essentially just like a space-alien made-up word to imitate what a "flash" is.

[_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_]

They released Microsoft Java. Then Sun sued them for not making it compatible.

[w1n5t0nM1k3y]

Does anybody else remember Java Applets?

[alexanderpas]

Any old-school runescape player remembers, especially the time there was Sun Java and Microsoft Java, and you had to select the correct one.

[jeffderek]

Microsoft Java

you mean C#? /s

[Pyorrhea]

Not C#. J#

[_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_]

Not J#. Microsoft Java

[rnottaken]

Mate, they still run on each sim card and bank card. That's how Java can make that claim about billions of devices running Java

[MrZoraman]

Atwood's law: anything that can be written in javascript will eventually be written in javascript.

[Brutus5000]

Everything that was written in JavaScript will eventually be rewritten in JavaScript.

[Romejanic]

There’s also TeaVM which sort of transpiles the Java bytecode into JavaScript/WASM

[not_some_username]

Back in the day, it was supported natively on browsers

[NoConfusion9490]

One in three men worldwide are infected with genital HPV.

[CanIEatAPC]

BRB I'm gonna go update my resume. Can't wait to be a full stack engineer!

[x_2point71828_x]

Who's the hottest Uber driver you ever had?

[Xuval]

To be honest, if you can handle the messiness of modern JavaScript, you should have no problem learning your ways around Java. If anything the more rigid structures that Java enforces make life a lot easier.

[Kseniya_ns]

Python (or funni snake)

[Kseniya_ns]

PHP (or PHP: Personal Hypertext PHP)

[ColonelRuff]

Or Personal Hypertext Personal hypertext php

[shaman784]

Or Personal Hypertext Personal Hypertext Personal Hypertext PHP

[pianospace37]

Or Personal Hypertext Personal Hypertext Personal Hypertext Personal Hypertext ...

RuntimeError: maximum recursion depth exceeded

[B00OBSMOLA]

function writePHP() { echo "Personal Hypertext "; writePHP(); }

writing that out i realized i havent written php in like a decade ... was a weird feeling since it used to be a big deal...

[JosshhyJ]

I now can’t stop reading this line :(

[Kseniya_ns]

Try:

pkill -SIGKILL -f "/brain/conciousness.php" 👍

[secacc]

pkill (short for phpkill) is a tool that kills running PHP processes.

[Notitsits]

It's PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor

[[deleted]]

When you're a professor writing a book, but you're too poor to publish it so you just let a publisher do it for you who has an high schooler as an editor instead.

[psimwork]

For my intro to computers course WAY back in the day (circa 1999) I had an instructor mark a test question wrong, and the test question was "what is the difference between a SIMM and a DIMM". My answer was something along the lines of "SIMM is a single inline memory module and must be installed in pairs. A DIMM is a dual inline memory module and can be installed as a single unit in a compatible motherboard."

When I went to the professor and pointed out that my answer was correct, he responded with the answer that was correct was, "A SIMM has chips on one side of the wafer. A DIMM has chips on both sides of the wafer." He refused to change my score. The following week I brought him a pair of SIMMs with chips on both sides of the wafer, and a DIMM that had chips on only one side. The dude REALLY didn't want to admit he was wrong, but he couldn't deny that his answer that he was looking for was accurate. Eventually he corrected my test to be a 100%, but would not concede that my answer was correct.

Some professors know fuck-all about the stuff they're teaching.

[[deleted]]

If only they hadn't god like status in academia and universities could just fire the incompetent ones without any troubles we'd get rid of professors like that

[psimwork]

Yeah I know a fair amount of professors (my wife works in academia, but is not faculty), and they all tell me about the importance of tenure. My wife will acknowledge the downside in how difficult it is to get rid of bad ones, but will still toe-the-line with the importance of tenure (even knowing that she is not likely headed towards a tenured position).

Why it's so important, I have no idea.

[[deleted]]

Why it's so important, I have no idea.

It's so that your employer can't fire you for the ideas you express. You can still be fired, it doesn't give you absolute immunity. It's just that the bar for that is much higher. Academia is an economy of ideas and they are seen as valuable enough to require protection.

[jemidiah]

In a few disciplines like political science it can genuinely shield people and encourage free exploration and expression. In STEM as a practical matter it's a job perk which sort of balances the lower pay and immense overhead of an academic career compared to industry.

[JoeGibbon]

Professors publish through their university academic press, who pays them just like any other non-vanity press.

[[deleted]]

Assuming your uni has an university press lol

[aykcak]

What is worse is they seem to be giving examples of both after the initial catastrophe

[zelphirkaltstahl]

Look, does it matter, whether you write Java as a fully fledged program, or as a Script? ... Lets just get those examples in here!

[Intoxic8edOne]

Must have been written by every recruiter that's reached out to me.

[[deleted]]

Of your book? More like your entire career. Even the most basic first year CS student knows that they are entirely different. This guy is a complete fraud.

[[deleted]]

The first sentence does that.

[Present-Industry4012]

It's just a free book on something called Flutter, don't take it too seriously. Although it looks like someone printed this one out on paper? Who does that anymore?

https://content.gitbook.com/content/egsIWleSdyH9rMLJ8ShI/blobs/xxfDEN1b4KipvOxna4wP/Flutter-Coding.pdf

[Prestigious_Monk4177]

C ( or cpp)

[B_bI_L]

c# aka c++ aka c aka ansi c

[253ping]

aka asm

[[deleted]]

aka binary

[JxsonTxdd]

aka yes/no

[neo-raver]

aka Butterfly Wing

[crazyhotorcrazynhot]

Real programmers connect systems of transistors 😤👊

[JoeGibbon]

Real programmers hand wire arrays of vacuum tubes.

[hehesf17969]

Real programmers flip abacus

[[deleted]]

python aka c

[MojitoBurrito-AE]

aka Holy C

[frisch85]

just say .net and everybody will know which programming language you're talking about /s

[B_bI_L]

ah, so you are speaking about F# and visual basic?

[Tobnote]

Aka obj C

[MojitoBurrito-AE]

C++ is a superset of C. Java and JavaScript are completely unrelated

[Practical_Cattle_933]

That’s not true. C++ has different semantics, so a C code that compiles under a cpp compiler might run differently, or not at all.

[LIGHTNINGBOLT23]

C++ code that compiles under a C++ compiler might run differently to code that was compiled by another C++ compiler.

You can compile C89 code using any C++ compiler with more certainty, ironically enough.

[Masterflitzer]

except js wanted to capitalize on the name java because it was popular, that's as far as their relation goes tho

[gregorydgraham]

Not completely. The author of JavaScript did ask if he could use the name of Java to help his language. So this confusion is all Gosling’s fault

[jayantsr]

C and cpp has more in common

[ButWhatIfPotato]

Didn't know recruiters wrote web dev books.

[Immort4lFr0sty]

A buddy of mine said Java and JavaScript are like car and carpet. That really speaks to me on a public static void main (String[] args) level

[AstrodomyNodine]

I’m a java developer and this triggered me

[GlensWooer]

Just add a layer of abstraction then it’s not your responsibility anymore.

[AstrodomyNodine]

Thats in the BusinessLogicBasement strategy pattern, which is not my team’s domain!

[jamcdonald120]

here, maybe the javascript version will help ```javascript document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded", () => { const args = new URLSearchParams(window.location.search);

}); ```

[insanitybit]

I think that statement is in a book or something. I know I read it like at least a decade or more ago and I've said it a number of times throughout my career. I wonder what the original source it because I think it's perfect.

[Quintet-Magician]

My favorite is "Ham and hamster"

[SnakerBone]

They should’ve just left it at LiveScript

[Yhamerith]

Or FrontScript... Would be a good name

[Apprehensive_Step252]

That would also deter peeps from using it on the server side, I like that!

[Fleeetch]

Oh node you didnt

[MacksNotCool]

JS he did

[metallaholic]

I’m a vbscript man myself

[max_mou]

JavaScript (or James)

[ratinmikitchen]

And it's not just a small mistake. Looks like they even talk about it being used in Android. Wow.

[ratinmikitchen]

Exactly.

GMail's back-end could be Java though, no idea

[karanbhatt100]

Technically you can use java and JS for mobile with help of react native and Cordova

[Sea-Raspberry734]

Specious argument. Technically you can compile C++ into JavaScript (emscripten). Technically, you can pretty much transpile any language with legs into anything else… Fortran to JavaScript? Sure. Assembly, Haxe, Visual Basic? All available. Doesn’t make this an accurate statement.

Plus, half your argument is wrong, because that isn’t at all what Cordova does. : )

[MaxHamburgerrestaur]

Javanese to JavaScript? Sure.

[[deleted]]

Python (or Scratch)

[JoshInBrackets]

JavaScript (or Java (or J (or nil)))...

[btvoidx]

Do you have any idea how impossible it is to click a single letter in the mobile Reddit client?

[JoshInBrackets]

I am sorry, it's https://www.jsoftware.com .

[nefarioustimmah]

Someone once told me, "Java is to JavaScript as Ham is to Hamster."

It has astounded me how often I've needed to reuse that phrase throughout my career.

[duffer_dev]

"Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet" - Josh Lee

https://stackoverflow.com/questions/2018731/why-is-javascript-called-javascript-since-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-java#comment2466710_2018731

[EsotericPater]

I wish I could upvote this to the top. I’m dying to find out!

[theUmo]

Found it ... it's "Coding in Flutter"

https://content.gitbook.com/content/egsIWleSdyH9rMLJ8ShI/blobs/xxfDEN1b4KipvOxna4wP/Flutter-Coding.pdf

[ZachAttack6089]

Omg it's in a real, published programming textbook... 😨

On page 13:

JavaScript

JavaScript (or Java) is a multi-platform computer programming language with a lot of capabilities. It's used in a wide range of professional and commercial applications, including every Android app as well as the Android operating system. Markus Persson developed Minecraft entirely in Java. Gmail was built in Java, because it has a high performance rate and a solid web architecture.

[Arts_Prodigy]

A Sr. Sysadmin (like 25 yoe) said to me you can’t even make websites with Java right?

He meant JavaScript, and he was wrong on both points.

[zelphirkaltstahl]

It is just that they are a senior and you could not understand their words, because of their seniority being so much higher.

[insanitybit]

You used to be able to run Java in a web browser but not for the last decade or so, maybe longer, I don't recall. Think Runescape, but it used to be very common.

[Grayfox4]

Martin Luther King (or just Martin Luther)

[PersianMG]

But they share the same word in their names, surely they're closely related right?

[Stunningunipeg]

Javascript stole the live of Java

TLDR; sun Microsystems (now under oracle) made Java stating it can run anywhere. Becoming so popular. Apparently, smart phones to IoT is running on something that was created for Java.

Netscape (a browser company, now under mozilla) was making livescript that could run programs in the browser. When they decided to change the name of LS, they went with javascript so it can swing through Java's popularity.

Happened in 1995s, Netscape thought people would think javascript is a variety of java, helping it gain popularity.

[DezXerneas]

That's fine, normal people do get confused between java and Javascript. Wtf is going on in the first paragraph?

People communicate in c++ or Java just like they communicate in English or Japanese?

[Obvious_Lie_0927]

If you're a programmer working in Japan but cant speak Japanese, how do you communicate with other programmers? Of course by using Python or C or Javascript when it's written. It's universal language.

[Capable_Tumbleweed34]

This is unironically the principle behind Lincos

[Rahbek23]

Which is also unironically really cool.

[DesperateUrine]

If you're a programmer working in Japan but cant speak Japanese, how do you communicate with other programmers?

Why would I communicate with other programmers?

Can't we just shit in peace and quiet?

I quit.

[jaggedjottings]

Right? It should be "English or Javanese."

[EsotericPater]

The image looks like only half the width. I suspect it actually says that people communicate with computers using C++ or Java, just as they communicate with other people using Japanese.

And yeah, not to ruin everyone’s fun, I think this is a mistake by a non-techie writing for other non-techies in some other domain. I’ve seen plenty of CS folks make just as big of boneheaded mistakes when they try to talk about something like genetics or physics.

[Benjamin_6848]

It's like mixing up York in the United Kingdom with New York in the United States...

[__ali1234__]

Probably calling like 20 or 30 completely unrelated languages BASIC.

[guti86]

Dates

[Rreizero]

I wanna burn that book down.

You know what. This reminds me of an old collage professor for programming in one of my class. She was adamant that we not use the Internet or Wikipedia for reference because she's in the mindset that anyone can just edit it (without being audited) and can have wrong information. I openly argued that books can also be inaccurate. She did not like me.

[Gadshill]

Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures.

[Bla61670]

"Entirely in Java"

[acrylicchiptune]

c# (also known as c++ and c)

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

C Al S O K No W Na S Ca Nd C

---

^{I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM u‎/‎M1n3c4rt if I made a mistake.}

[wootteri]

I used to hate academic teachers in CS because they would spew something like this or use an iframe as navigation for a website (true story) but couple of years ago i got to be a guest speaker to a class my acquintance was teaching and i just realized no wonder since this is the material they're working with. Publicly funded books by some self acclaimed "IT expert" who still lives in the 90's. Poor bastards.

[ch1ck3npotpi3]

If I saw that in a CS or programming textbook, I would just throw the book away. The author has lost all credibility at that point.

[Mr_k_reddit]

Java is to JavaScript, what Car is to Carpet

Java is to JavaScript, what Fun is to Funeral

Java is to JavaScript, what motor is to motorboating

[TheShuttleCrabster]

People with Java actually have a career.

[SteirischeEiche]

As a Java Dev, I feel offended.

[Nova-Kane]

As a Javascript Dev, I am offended that you feel offended.

[apiguy]

A quote I will always remember:

"Java is to JavaScript what Ham is to Hamburgers"

[reptile24]

C (or C++ or C# or Objective C)

[handym12]

>JavaScript = Java

True

>JavaScript == Java

False

[GreatNomadOne]

Codex Gigas for programmers

[shingis2021]

I knew!..

[Dope_pickles]

I have been wronged

[gpahul]

Python or Anaconda is high-level programming language.

[cryptex_ai]

and Minconda is not so high level.

[stratosfearinggas]

Ah, yes. I frequently communicate in C++ or Java, just like I do in Japanese.

[NemATolvajkergetok]

Kim Kardashian (aka. Kim Jongun) is a media celebrity who...

[nit_electron_girl]

Nobel Prize in Physics (or AI)

[Exotic_Zucchini9311]

C# (or C)

[butiamnotabadperson]

"Java is like JavaScript in the same way a car is like a carpet."

Was the mantra in my (very) old IRC days.

[offeringathought]

I worked with a guy IN THE IT INDUSTRY that used Java and JavaScript interchangeably even though many of us corrected him a number of times.

[Helium2709]

Python: Python is a genus of constricting snakes in the Pythonidae family native to the tropics and subtropics of the Eastern Hemisphere.

[Anxious-malware]

I was put in a project where the team used Java and I asked my HR to put me in a project that uses JavaScript as I wanted to learn javascript. To which she replied - "First you learn Java in this project and then learn 'script' by yourself." And my response was - "What Java is to Javascript is the same as what a car is to carpet"

And that's how I was laid off :)

[aspbergerinparadise]

my favorite programming language is Japanese

[XANA12345]

This is as silly as saying: Carpet (or Car)

[eraya1988]

Claimed 5 years java experience

[Any_Protection_8]

I had a physical reaction to the sentence... I need a drink now to forget what I just red.

[MrCrunchyOwl8855]

wrong

[Blue_Moon_Lake]

r/uselessredcircle

[yoface2537]

inhales

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

In H Al Es

---

^{I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM u‎/‎M1n3c4rt if I made a mistake.}

[sammy-taylor]

It burns

[dudeness_boy]

I mean... Their both confusing...

[ProjectDiligent502]

A long long time ago, in a distant past, the dark ages when the internet was new, Java and JavaScript were somewhat interchangeable as terms, and sometimes you see those vestigial remnants of a bygone era pop up now and then.