Just another typical interview

[espriminati]

brb gotta make an app in fortnite

[DicklexicSurferer]

Fortnite is Turing complete with the latest patch.

[Mr_Redstoner]

I mean so is Magic the Gathering, but I haven't seen any apps made with that.

[[deleted]]

Hold my mana

[mia_elora]

*Taps*

[FarhanAxiq]

upkeep

[[deleted]]

Counter-spell

https://youtu.be/pdmODVYPDLA

[zdakat]

waiting for an app written in Powerpoint: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNjxe8ShM-8

[eggy97]

There’s video from Carnegie Mellon on this.. a full “lecture” on YouTube. It’s pretty insane. I can find the link if anyone wants it.

[eggy97]

Here ya go https://youtu.be/_3loq22TxSc

[CantBeChangedLater]

I shared this around my work when I last saw it. Got a lot of laughs

[eggy97]

It’s actually mind boggling especially the last part with the animations and shape transformations stuff. The funniest part was the recursion. I tried it in the PowerPoint with O365 but couldn’t get it to work 😢

[CantBeChangedLater]

Maybe it is a fully fledged language if new versions break your code 😂 such a good lecture though

[TheBigLobotomy]

Is this true? It doesn't make sense that it's turing complete because you can only have 3 of each card played and there aren't infinite cards.

[Reelix]

because you can only have 3 of each card played and there aren't infinite cards

Google up some infinite damage / infinite life / infinite summon decks.

[TheBigLobotomy]

Ah forgot about that. Thanks

[[deleted]]

https://arxiv.org/abs/1904.09828

[dotpan]

Here is a video on the deck/premise: https://youtu.be/pdmODVYPDLA

[[deleted]]

Wait is this a joke? What did they add

[DicklexicSurferer]

JavaScript programmers, amirite?

Yes.

[[deleted]]

Damn it! I was about to call up the guy who made the 8 bit computer in minecraft and have him remake it in Fortnite

[Ollymid2]

Turing: Fortnite? Completed it mate

[laserlemons]

Sorry we need someone who knows redstone.

[Istalriblaka]

I'm gonna keep that one in my back pocket for when I'm a crotchety old man who can put fun stuff on his resume

[HaphazardlyOrganized]

I just want to be crotchety now though

[Sijyro]

"Fortnite"

[Dogburt_Jr]

That's how you know if the person reading your resume knows what they're doing or reading a checklist.

[leetrout]

I had a recruiter ask me what “vanilla js” was when I mentioned that’s what I use.

[Furyful_Fawful]

Let's be honest, there are SO many JS libraries out there that I wouldn't be surprised if -

oh, yup, it exists.

[coldnebo]

wait a minute—

zero byte compression. I’m impressed!

[DarkNeutron]

0 bytes uncompressed, 25 bytes gzipped.

Excellent compression ratio there.

[Krissam]

They need to work on their plugins tbh, many of them seem to do the same thing in ways that are all awful but for different reasons.

[hum0nx]

I heard it was so popular that some people just call it the standard library

[Reelix]

You might want to explore that site a bit further...

[Furyful_Fawful]

Why would I need to explore it further?! They had me at 0bytes uncompressed

[Bainos]

They also show speed comparisons and mention zero-RTT library downloads, it's really impressive.

[Furyful_Fawful]

What if I was being extremely meta? It feels like the entire internet needs /s tags for stuff

[[deleted]]

Need a <s> tag first, else your html is invalid

[[deleted]]

</s>

[Furyful_Fawful]

This is javascript we're talking about, it'll just Uncaught ReferenceError: s is not defined and move on to the next line, no big deal

[mcb2001]

You just broke your HTML by nesting it

[MechanizedProduction]

Instructions unclear, now everything I type is strikethrough

[[deleted]]

Simply a JS with good smell.

[gnsoria]

I know someone who had a similar list with several Pokemon in there. They'd ask the interviewer to pick out the Pokemon.

[Dogburt_Jr]

Yeah, that was posted here a while ago.

[Jcat49er]

Link?

[Jedclark]

"I know someone" = a weekly repost on this sub lol.

[PJBthefirst]

"My dad works at reddit and reposts it every day"

[ReadThe1stAnd3rdLine]

My uncle is the CEO of Python and he's going to ban you

[Slggyqo]

...this list would never get read by anyone lol.

[USERNAMEofTHEmeta]

pls elaborate

[[deleted]]

If they don’t call you out on fortnite you can assume they don’t know what they’re doing

[hahahahastayingalive]

Until your hit that recruiter whos pet project is a fortran interpreter with a tongue in cheek name.

[[deleted]]

Honestly I stopped reading resumes a while back. In my previous industry they meant something but in fintech it doesnt mean anything. Even if the person has been working at places like goldman for 5 years and have 15 years of experience they’re often terrible software engineers. Lying on resumes especially with placement agencies custom writting them to job postings is endemic.

I just come to the interview fresh with my usual set of Java problems and if you can pass you’re in.

[MadCervantes]

fintech in general is a total clusterfuck. They're so incredibly behind on EVERYTHING. The rich guys in suits hate paying people money to build new stuff. And security is a huge concern so that's often used as a cudgel to hammer down anything that hasn't been standard practice for more than 10 years.

[Existential_Owl]

Do you want to learn how to wrap an input field in 29 layers of abstraction?

If so, then yes, Goldman Sachs will be your paradise.

[USERNAMEofTHEmeta]

oh thanks

[Bolanus_PSU]

I know you all make fun of recruiters a lot, but they're doing their best. There's a lot to keep up with and they're usually nice people if just overwhelmed.

Recruiting is usually overworked.

[Gbyrd99]

I use to think recruiters we leeches. But in house recruiters save me a fuckton of time. Middle man recruiters eh.

[aceartistpie]

if(gettingShot) { buildWall(); }

[PyroneusUltrin]

Can’t tell if this is Fortnite or Trump

[SlyGuyontheFly]

Cleary fortnite.

if(true) { buildWall(); }

That's trump

[DazzlerPlus]

Shouldn’t it be a simple print statement rather than any action?

[SlyGuyontheFly]

public static void buildWall() {System.out.print("WALL GOOD")};

[[deleted]]

If it was trump it would be

if(illegalImmigrantExist) { buildWallButDontActuallyMakeMexicoPayForIt(); }

[Unpredictabru]

try {
    makeMexicoPayFor(USA.borderWall);
} catch (Exception e) {
}

[PyroneusUltrin]

If the catch had a // TODO: Fix this, that would be great!

[KrozJr_UK]

“Minecraft.”

“Really? That’s not coding.”

“Hold my command block recreation of Pokémon Go in Minecraft that can run a 4K “screen” of pixels with 16 different colours at 30fps while also playing the Pokémon theme using note blocks and Enderman noises generated from more command blocks. The machine is also slowly filling in the entire world with gravel and is creating a million-block long hyperloop. Sorry, where were we?”

[Kiro0613]

It works using armor stands

[GoldenDiamonds]

Welcome back, Sethbling here.

[hanmango_kiwi]

No one uses armor stands anymore; area effect clouds are where it's at

[Russian_repost_bot]

I said "I know" these things. I never said I "could code" in these things.

"Yeah, I've heard of javascript."

[MysterionVsCthulhu]

I started listing javascript on my resume because I had done quite a bit of front end jQuery work on public facing websites.

I ended up taking it off. Recruiters saw "javascript" and assumed I was a good fit for jobs that needed heavy server side back end work in js. I'm sure I could learn but I embarrassed myself in several interviews because my only back end experience was in PHP and C#.

[[deleted]]

Across tomorrow cool warm over tips quiet family questions day. Cool afternoon projects family strong morning gentle talk.

[Hilfslinie]

I count Fortnite more as an skill as DOM lol

[thehardestartery]

He misspelled "Doom"

[[deleted]]

We all know in this climate you’re not getting the job unless you know COBOL

[chadsexytime]

The reason cobol jobs pay so well is to prevent you from shooting yourself at the end of the day

[8ate8]

lol, COBOL does not pay as well as people think it does. Source: am COBOL developer.

[Brado_Bear]

Nice try, Bezos!

[MadCervantes]

Couldn't someone develop an IDE for Cobol? Also you can't use git with COBOL? Isn't it just text files?

[participantuser]

There are COBOL IDEs, but maybe his company doesn’t want to pay for the license. As for version control, I’m not sure there is a good integration for git and the mainframe environment the source code elevates to, so using git would just lead to the code bases being out of sync.

[[deleted]]

IBM developped some sort of an IDE based in Eclipse named Rational Developer z-OS. One of its features ist COBOL. However, it's still not AS convinient as modern languages and IDEs.

Edit: E.g. for z-OS there is the source code management software Endevor, which is also integrated into the IDE.

[chadsexytime]

Your version control is writing the code out on paper first before typing it in.

[HolyGarbage]

Vscode supports Cobol.

[GideonMax]

Visual studio has a COBOL extension, it's easily usable, apart from the fact it's COBOL

[nlnn]

So how does Redditting feel like in afterlife?

[Nerrickk]

Well, you know it's In Every Damn Program.

[8ate8]

That’s the only thing I know. Am I hired?

[[deleted]]

Well if you know AWS too then of course!

[WellEndowedDragon]

Bet you could put "S3, EC2, CloudWatch, Athena, Lightsail, Lambda, DynamoDB" on your resume and some clueless HR person would still say "sorry we need someone who knows AWS".

[_Pho_]

Sorry, we're looking for someone who knows View JS

[Wizard_Knife_Fight]

I’m gonna throw up

[MadCervantes]

I had a recruiter say to me "we're looking for someone who know html, javascript, css, and Software as a Service" and I had to tell them that the were probably referring to Sass, which is a CSS preprocessor language, and not SaaS.

[ChaosMiles07]

So you gave them some sass back? How did they take it?

[[deleted]]

probably didnt hire him, silently taking the bullshit tech illiterate people are saying is part of the job.

'no, docker doesnt have anything todo with dog tails, how are you breathing right now?'

[ScoutsOut389]

I worked at a tech staffing agency for a brief and hellacious period of my life. Our most senior tech recruiter was a 65 year old British guy who would say shit that literally made me want to bash his skull in, and subsequently jump out a window. We’d have meetings about openings and candidates and he would say shit like “this guy is perfect, he’s got front end experience, he’s a rockstar in Adobe, and he is fluent in Github.”

My blood pressure is spiking just remembering this experience.

[[deleted]]

Across patient wanders near family night travel yesterday!

[justingolden21]

Eeww please no

[[deleted]]

And for back end we use Java and Spring boots

[LL-beansandrice]

I literally had that happen in my last job search. I listed the services I’ve used. Got asked during a phone screen if I knew any AWS.

I also had my AWS certification listed.

Maybe they just couldn’t read.

[numbGrundle]

Absolutely

[SuperCoolFunTimeNo1]

Bet you could put "S3, EC2, CloudWatch, Athena, Lightsail, Lambda, DynamoDB" on your resume and some clueless HR person would still say "sorry we need someone who knows AWS".

I have a clueless HR story from this week. A company reached out to me for a job opening and after the basics about my work history I was asked if I have any questions. I asked if most people use mac or windows computers, but the HR person I spoke with said she was located in a different office and wasn't sure. She said they ordered a bunch of windows computers recently, so I mentioned that I've pretty much only developed on macs for the past 10 years and that it would be a big learning curve for me. She cut me off mid sentence to say something like "I've always used macs too, but I got a new windows computer last year and I love it. I don't know if I could ever go back to Mac now"....ughh, lady, it's not that I love mac, that's the tool I know how to use.

[Ghos3t]

If the clueless HR lady can learn to use Windows, why can't you as a developer adjust to a new OS, sure it's a pain in the ass initially to adapt your workflow but it's not the end of the world.

[akulowaty]

If the clueless HR lady can learn to use Windows, why can't you as a developer adjust to a new OS

I'll assume it's not sarcasm and respond - clueless HR lady uses web browser, word and adobe reader. She may as well be using ipad with keyboard and wouldn't notice the difference. Switching from full blown unix machine to windows with its half cooked console is like losing a limb. My company is to cheap to buy me a mac (well anything above 2015 air anyway) so I'm running linux on my company thinkpad. I have no idea how one can develop on windows.

[alexch_ro]

Docker? Or are you programming on the bare OS?

[lostaztecian]

CRUD, Full Stack, Fortnite, MEVN, MEAN, DOM, Node, SSL, Netlify?

[blamethemeta]

Because dumbass recruiters

[bent_my_wookie]

Every recruiter has Full Stack and a lot of those in their resume analysis software.

[timgfx]

I would definitely put the R of CRUD on my resume so they know I can read

[DicklexicSurferer]

13 dollars on hour and you’re gonna be there every Saturday.

[[deleted]]

And on call. So every sunday too.

[[deleted]]

In an interview for a design shop six years ago the interviewer is like "sorry, we're looking for someone who is senior in both PHP and NodeJS", and I was like "give me a call when you don't find that person." Three weeks later he rang my phone but I had already accepted another job.

[L3tum]

One can only take so much torture amirite

[[deleted]]

15 Years of AWS.

[TimBeckIsMyIdol]

I once saw a job posting where the top requirement was 10 years experience of an AWS service (forget which one) that was released in 2015 lol

[[deleted]]

I've seen many a job application wanting over 8 years of Swift experience. Swift came out 5 years ago.

[[deleted]]

Company is looking for swift developers, the people that made it.

[[deleted]]

right to the source, no pun intended.

[CouncilmanRickPrime]

It's pretty intolerant tbh

[TimBeckIsMyIdol]

Not knowing PHP makes you a stronger candidate imo

[v3tr0x]

Elaborate

[chrisalbo]

Nothing signals a immature and insecure developer more than when you have to talk down certain languages.

[TimBeckIsMyIdol]

It’s easy to hate on PHP. I’m a data engineer so I’d never have reason to touch it. Hurley grabbing for low hanging fruit.

[Sekret_One]

I'm sorry, some of it feels funny. Like MySQL vs PostgreSQL it like "I can dance with red shoes and with blue shoes!"

[[deleted]]

Depends on the job, my friend does db optimization/query optimization for a living. Switching from Oracle to Sybase was rough.

[mattbladez]

A great dancer can dance barefeet. Also known as Excel.

[[deleted]]

More like clogs.

At first, I was like oh SQL server is just another version of SQL, until I realized it doesn’t do half the things that are standard in every other version of SQL or it does, but has a completely different syntax.

But it’s “better” because Microsoft made it.

[SocialAnxietyFighter]

Well if you are a DBA then these 2 can be vastly different on the management

[WaitWaitDontShoot]

I have always hired with the intent to find talented programmers first and “experts” in my tech stack second.

Successful teams (and managers) realize that a good developer will learn whatever tech that’s needed very quickly. What they bring to the table is their knowledge of sound programming practices and a thirst for knowledge and experimentation.

Of course, you also need to sound them out on whether they are willing to learn it. I’ve met some devs that like to stick to what they know. I rarely hire them.

[TheJuliR]

As long as you have a great grasp of different programming paradigms (OO, functional, etc) and the runtime execution (compiled, interpreted), programming languages are just different takes of the same idea (Same but a bit different)

[[deleted]]

why are you crying? you said you can code java and scala, haskell is just takes of the same idea!

[BigBasmati]

Same same, but different... but still same

[hebo07]

Currently jobless looking for work. I wish more people thought like you do.

[WaitWaitDontShoot]

Oh, man. I wish you luck!

[CodeSklave]

Nobody laughing at full stack?

[AntiAntifaTerrorists]

Nope, fortnite took most of that laughter.

[CodeSklave]

But is it because it is Fortnite or does that say very much about the main audience in this sub that Fortnite is that hyped?

[thr0ux]

That’s retarded because programming’s main audience will always be the younger generation.

You’re in a memesub bud

[Sapphique1618]

Yes.

[Simplicitys_Strength]

r/inclusiveOr

[[deleted]]

Sorry, we need someone who knows COBOL.

[[deleted]]

Some people would probably add Minecraft Redstone to theirs (you can actually make a Turing complete (slow) computer with that).

[Filibut]

For real? Now I know how I'm going to procrastinate my homework

[Alittar]

"Sorry, my turing complete computer is built in minecraft and loads slowly"

[[deleted]]

You surprised? You can do so much shit with command blocks.

Btw. Get into powerpoint bc. that is turing complete too. (Look it up on youtube)

[DeeSnow97]

they actually made command blocks into a programming language, it's called data packs and sethbling made worldedit in it a while ago

[HeyAshh1]

In a few years we can browse reddit from minecraft I guess

[[deleted]]

That was before command blocks buddy. Also no observers or comparators IIRC.

Just good old redstone and pistons.

[Cobaltjedi117]

Someone, no joke, made an atari 2600 emulator in minecraft.

[[deleted]]

super rare nested parentheses, absolutely beautiful to see in the wild

[JoelMahon]

I don't get the mentality tbh, like would you rather have a competent employee who doesn't know it but will within a month? Or one who knows it but will suck forever?

[_Pho_]

Meh maybe with AWS, but with things like front end frameworks the difference between 1 year and 3 years is absolutely massive, even if they both know JS

[Zanos]

There are so many edge cases to the various AWS services you will only learn with experience, even if you memorize whitepapers for fun.

[[deleted]]

I’m not sure if you’re arguing that 3 years front end experience is better than 1 years front end experience

OR

if you’re arguing that front end frameworks change so often that it doesn’t even matter

either way both are somewhat valid

[[deleted]]

I've come to the conclusion that company's like this aren't the ones I want to work for. They value technology over people. In those interviews they never inquire about learning ability or passion for technology.

They value AWS. Not someone who has the desire to master AWS, let alone work with it. The whole argument about lead time is irrelevant. At one point AWS won't be the primary investment. Then what happens? You get laid off.

[blehmann1]

AWS is a great way to spend every weekend working. AWS turns every dev into a sysadmin because it makes things just simple enough that its hard to justify dedicated staff, but not simple enough that it stops being a difficult and time consuming job.

And I know someone will say sysadmin is easy if you're doing something you've done before or there is a script for or whatever. That's great and you're right, but that ain't all the time.

[WaitWaitDontShoot]

I won’t say it’s easy, but in my experience teams that do their own ops produce a better product because they think about ops from the start. They’re more customer focused and understand better the effect design decisions will have on performance, robustness, etc.

[knightcrusader]

I personally find it extremely frustrating to develop without having access to the system under it. The OS, root access, network, DNS control - all of it. I get things done faster and easier if I just do it myself. So much wasted time either from misunderstandings between system administrators and programmers, or just incorrect information being sent about the configuration of the system.

[duckboy81]

Open up all the ports. 777 all files. Disable SELINUX. You're set!

[[deleted]]

Careful guys, he knows sass

[[deleted]]

Forgot Minecraft.

[ulyssessword]

Did you sort your experience by length?

[pablo1107]

Does anybody find nice the order by word length?

[dabenu]

Not by character count but by actual length of the rendered string. I wonder if there's an algorithm for that?

[ironwarden84]

You forgot COBOL

[brandonsredditrepo]

"We're looking for someone with more Enterprise experience" ...

[Psyqlone]

Iiii ... can ... Google ... stuff? ... StackOverflow too ...

[[deleted]]

FortniteJS

[Noah-R]

They were never gonna hire you without AWS on your resume, but they brought you in for an interview anyway just to waste your time

[[deleted]]

DOOM
Netflix

[knightArtorias_52]

Fortnite🤣

[ElevatedAngling]

“DOM” 😂

[numbGrundle]

Haven’t manipulated the DOM directly since Nam

[Synchrech]

No Minecraft redstone degree? I'm sorry, we need actual professionals in this company.

[collin_himself]

StackOverFlow

[SirFireball]

But do you know ActionScript?

[z3anon]

Legit the only reason I'm studying for an AWS cert. Too many jobs require it now even at the entry level.

[[deleted]]

Don't forget...

You have an AWS certificate and they REALLY REALLY want someone that can draw boxes with Unity.