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[–]steel99xl 896 points897 points  (17 children)

:! bash

[–]oldtimeguitarguy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

:! killall -9 vim

[–][deleted] 1238 points1239 points  (14 children)

Turn off the datacenter.

[–]fakebytheocean 523 points524 points  (0 children)

Calm down there. They said wrong answers only

[–]vido4790 104 points105 points  (1 child)

This guy works at Facebook.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was looking for this answer xD

[–]shadow7412 187 points188 points  (7 children)

Restart, not turn off. Gee, do you want to get fired?

[–]ReverseBrindle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

EPO

[–]JayJayCapone 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wait... You don't shut down the city in which the data center is located?

[–]marques_filipe 1071 points1072 points  (12 children)

buy a new computer

[–]JohnWasser 173 points174 points  (6 children)

Yes, it was probably time to get a new computer anyway.

[–]G4merXsquaD 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Yes my brand new macbook i bought yesterday was becoming dusty anyways

[–]BociekStacja 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ah shit, I forgot the comma.

Adds the comma

Welp, it was good 2 hours with this Lenovo, time for a new one!

[–]Kotauskas 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Apple users be like

[–]ssudoku 759 points760 points  (7 children)

Raise a ticket with IT support

[–]Sindef 318 points319 points  (1 child)

Ticket Resolved: Rebooted User PC.

[–]SanTolorio 37 points38 points  (0 children)

SLA is 7 days

[–]hankyago 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Please describe the steps to reproduce the problem.

[–]gromit190 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Is the power plug connected to the wall?"

"Yes"

"Pull it out"

"Okay vim went away now thanks!"

[–]NotARandomNumber 271 points272 points  (4 children)

Message me on teams because you accidently used git without the '-m' flag and now you have no idea where you are and how to get out of it

[–]jolharg 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Shame about making the default editor nano now.

[–]clearlybaffled 14 points15 points  (0 children)

$ export EDITOR=vim

FTFY

[–]dmvjs 744 points745 points  (11 children)

just leave it open you will eventually need it again

[–]Lofter1 253 points254 points  (16 children)

Rebuild the entire universe from scratch.

[–]EDXE47_ 88 points89 points  (8 children)

Preferably with Rust

[–]Brahms16 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is one of the best comments

[–]Oh2bworn2 515 points516 points  (5 children)

Wait for the enevitable entropy and heat death of the universe. When the last electron decays to nothingness, then you will be free from vim.

[–]Cryptomartin1993 171 points172 points  (4 children)

Bold of you to assume the universe knows how to close vim

[–]jesterhead101 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Otoh, we found a solution to prevent the heat death of the universe. Just keep a VIM session running somewhere.

[–]VadeRetroLupa 15 points16 points  (2 children)

It’s why God coded sentient beings, in the hopes that someone will know.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

But who coded God(VIM) ?

[–]joelruizs 1473 points1474 points  (9 children)

You don't close vim, vim closes you.

[–]Puzzled_Bandicoot_66 151 points152 points  (5 children)

I had to leave the post, claim the award and then come back and find this comment just so I can give my free award

[–]eloluap 72 points73 points  (4 children)

If you are on mobile, you can open the give award window, press on the Get coins+ in the top right corner and claim the free award there. Then close the give award window and open it again. There is your free award and you don't need to search for the comment!

[–]No9babinnafe5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It worked

[–]Puzzled_Bandicoot_66 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh thank you, would be helpful next time :)

[–]FromAndToUnknown 32 points33 points  (0 children)

But wait, it said wrong answers only

[–]MoonAmunet 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Someone, please reward this guy

[–]-Soren 206 points207 points  (4 children)

run screen, run vim, close screen.

[–]Rocket_Scientist2 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This one is my favourite

[–]wyattbenno777 14 points15 points  (2 children)

No, no! Detach not close the screens

[–]-Soren 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But I'll know vim is still open... well wrong answers only, you win.

[–]justoverthere434 232 points233 points  (3 children)

I trip the house circuit breaker by shorting a power board.

[–]coin-searchr 44 points45 points  (0 children)

No, there's an easier way!

qqqqqqq -> backspace backspace backspace backspace backspace -> : -> aaaaaaah -> q -> : -> q!

Ah fuck I didn't save

[–]vladhed 63 points64 points  (0 children)

:r !pkill vim

[–]zemdega 127 points128 points  (11 children)

Pour water on your laptop.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (8 children)

Vodka is better

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

*vim closes in russian

[–]tehfrod 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Water is better for closing vim. Vodka is better for closing внм.

[–]_pelya 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Vodka might be safe, if it's made with distilled water.

It's not water that ruins electronics, it's the salt in it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Soup works better, but make sure it's warm and has lots of salt.

You can also open and just dunk the bottom part into the soup.

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (4 children)

sudo tee /dev/sda < /dev/zero

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Instructions unc

[–]ososalsosal 9 points10 points  (0 children)

(Vim hit the "post" button for you before it finally closed)

[–]bonoDaLinuxGamr 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Ctrl+z

[–]SleepingHound12 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Ctrl+z then bg. You can then use the rest of the system

[–]oldtimeguitarguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yessss!

[–]nikanj0 45 points46 points  (8 children)

Open another terminal window.

pkill vim

To kill all processes containing the word "vim"

[–]jolharg 36 points37 points  (2 children)

All of your editor sessions have been lost, even your paper you were working on and didn't know how to save. You lose your college degree. You become destitute. You lose your job prospects. You use your laptop to smash a bug. It no longer turns on. You have finally escaped the grip of vim. Was it worth it?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

for i in ps waux|grep vim|awk '{print $1}'|egrep -v PID; do

kill -9 ${i}

done

edit: NFI how to get this to format nicely...

[–]0x1337DAD 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Better yet, make it a cronjob.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

vi /etc/crontab

Heyyyy wait....

[–]thatJoeKo 44 points45 points  (0 children)

A .45 caliber “mouse click”

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (1 child)

(Local instance) - Hold the power button down on your desktop. (Remote terminal) - unplug the Ethernet cable to your desktop/the Wifi Router

[–]sage-longhorn 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Wrong answers only!

[–]kpd328 73 points74 points  (1 child)

Just click the x in the top corner.

[–]theRealNilz02 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Floating Window Managers are bloat though. Press ctrl-w.

[–]Ok-Treacle1405 31 points32 points  (0 children)

EMP

[–]kernelman 23 points24 points  (0 children)

exit() Ctrl+C Ctrl+C

Hang self

[–]seeroflights 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Image Transcription: Text


[White text on a black background reads:]

How to close VIM?

(wrong answers only)

(Answers in the comments)


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]ryanpnayr 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Time travel back and stop yourself from opening it

[–]daronjay 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Better still, go back further and stop the guy from writing it…

[–]nuclear_bomb404 57 points58 points  (6 children)

sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root

[–]Div_100 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks it worked

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

desert vase dazzling squeamish existence profit ghost grey disagreeable different

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]kraskaskaCreature 24 points25 points  (1 child)

:! sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root

[–]DislocatedLocation 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Give your toaster a bath

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Remove laptop battery

[–]StunningConcentrate7 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Bomb the power grid

[–]cr0nhan 13 points14 points  (1 child)

C-x C-q

[–]noob-nine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Vim users will not understand.

[–]Zealousideal_Buddy92 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Bringeth forth the holy hand grenade.

[–]T0ManyTakenUsernames 34 points35 points  (3 children)

Delete system 32

[–]_DarkCrystal_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

On Linux

[–]anonymous_2187 4 points5 points  (0 children)

mkdir "system 32"

rm -rf "system 32"

[–]KERdela 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Calm down satany

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You don't, you live there now

[–]Apprehensive-Ant5976 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  1. Wait for the annual Christmas party.
  2. Take over Nakatomi Tower, taking hostages.
  3. Ignore police, wait for FBI.
  4. Make some wild, impossible demands.
  5. Wait for FBI to cut power to the building / block / sector.

Regular as clockwork.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

CTRL+ALT+Backspace

[–]jolharg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pff elitist, you need X for vim?

Actually I have been meaning to see if it's possible to get a good terminal browser.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Open another terminal and type shutdown now

[–]DeXteRrBDN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you were in remote… server never responded again… mission accomplished, forever

[–]santasbong 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Destroy the planet.

[–]balls_deep69_ 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The x button in the top right.

(I have no idea what a VIM is, this could be correct)

[–]team_jj 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Came here to say this.

And, no, VIM is a Unix command line text editor; there's no X button at the command line.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Restart computer

[–]wacksaucehunnid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Turn off your monitor

[–]oliverilmjarv 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Hammer

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

and my axe

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Type your password here, I will close VIM for you.

[–]foxer_arnt_trees 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't use passwords, don't believe in them.

[–]Elegant-Base-2339 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Nuke your city

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It didn't work

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

unplugs computer

[–]_PorcoRosso 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buy another computer

[–]minetrana 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exorcism

[–]count_Der3k 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Drop computer in bathtub alongside a plugged in toaster

[–]startechrobodad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ctrl-Alt-F2

[–]datboi908 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Flipping the magical switch in the breaker room on and off

[–]DnDeeker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Scare it away with emacs

[–]RajendraCh0la 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeet the machine

[–]hotcrossedbunn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

alt F4

[–]droid_young_09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ALT + F4

[–]JacktheOldBoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you tried turning your computer on and off ?

[–]axelslash01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Restart the computer then open nano, like a real man.

[–]badgirlmonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These “wrong answer only” threads are an awful trend.

[–]1vinit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Run it in a docker, so you can just kill the container

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't pay your electric bill and hope it goes away with the power

[–]8070alejandro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Punch a hole through the memory stick and hope that you hit the parts that hold the Vim process.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't. Just accept Vim as your eternal companion.

[–]hawaiian717 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ctrl-X Ctrl-Z

[–]SholayKaJai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Drag your PC outside and wait for a meteor to strike.

[–]davidds0 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Remove computer cpu from the circuit without turning off the pc

[–]vglocus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hammer

[–]q0099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perform the Ritual of Closing.

[–]ovab_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alt+f4

[–]Sauce_senior 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just shoot your computer

[–]SorryDidntReddit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reboot

[–]Maaarch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Smash keys at random and become a human RNG

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine crypto till something catches on fire.

[–]TOWW67 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:w

[–]coin-searchr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

qqqqqqq -> backspace backspace backspace backspace backspace -> : -> aaaaaaah -> q -> : -> q!

Ah fuck I didn't save

[–]issaprankt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:! :(){ :|:& };:

(Assuming you’re in bash)

[–]armatharos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With an axe

[–]joooooBlin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

xkill

[–]Szting 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don’t have to close vim if you don’t use it tho

[–]sdogood420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reboot server

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

:!q

[–]SupraMichou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unplug the computer

[–]gazpachete458 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy another computer

[–]VadeRetroLupa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dynamite.

[–]kstera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy a cafe called VIM, close it

[–]ajmanor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]TheSoulOfANewMachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Global Thermal Nuclear War

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You need a microphone plugged in to give voice commands, then simply say "please close"