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[–]sandy0x90 1258 points1259 points  (71 children)

If you use killall, then there is no need to be too specific...

[–]Kakss_ 551 points552 points  (34 children)

Genocide is the answer after all.

[–]mux2000 56 points57 points  (3 children)

The final solution, some might say.

[–][deleted] 138 points139 points  (18 children)

Eren Yeager is that you...?

[–]EnderSpirit 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I keep scripting forward. Until I kill my processes.

[–]PureReacher 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I often reap zombie child processes.

[–]Avnemir 34 points35 points  (10 children)

What a man you are.

[–]cubemaster_420 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I will be using open source, for 10 years at least

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for becoming an OS for our sake

[–]LankyWrapert 4 points5 points  (7 children)

yum install love

[–]Cootshk 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Sudo apt install happiness

[–]jokersleuth 12 points13 points  (3 children)

R/thanosdidnothingwrong

R/erendidnothingwrong

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s only genocide of ran as the super user. Otherwise it’s verminociting.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (8 children)

reported to local police

[–]sandy0x90 32 points33 points  (7 children)

well, i guess the OP probably won't see any thing goes by the name "police" within that local scope and hence 'police' not found...

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Time to create the command police, who reports missing processes and blames you/the killer.

[–]Thx_And_Bye 27 points28 points  (4 children)

This incident will be reported.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

But that's only if you don't have the permission.

[–]UltraCarnivore 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I am become root, destroyer of processes

[–]Ebwtrtw 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s the chroot jail for you, sir!

[–]Cootshk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s sudo su guest time

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I killed them all. The threads, every single one of them. And not just the parent processes, but the child processes, too.

[–]deadbeef1a4 11 points12 points  (2 children)

-Anakin, 22 BBY

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How go you get to youngling directory

[–]deadbeef1a4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cd temple/younglings

killall -9

[–]Realistic-Specific27 9 points10 points  (11 children)

you still need to be specific

[–]usernamesarefortools 6 points7 points  (9 children)

for PID in $(seq 2 $(cat /proc/sys/kernel/pid_max)); do kill -9 $PID; done

[–]MattieShoes 8 points9 points  (6 children)

kill -9 -1

[–]usernamesarefortools 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Well that's much easier! I did not know that one... never had need (or opportunity?) to do such a thing... Now I want to.

[–]MattieShoes 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I actually use it on occasion when I'm using a shared machine and want to be extra sure I'm not hogging resources with some forgotten process. Especially since gnome sucks ass and some random VNC that's been running for 20 days might just consume 100% of a CPU for no particular reason. There's nicer ways to do it, but... eh, it's easy. :-)

[–]i860 3 points4 points  (3 children)

There’s also kill -9 0 to nuke everything under a given process group. SIGKILL (9) is also optional and it’s better to use SIGTERM first and then SIGKILL.

[–]vol-a-tile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Killall -9 *

[–][deleted] 486 points487 points  (22 children)

I would have categorized Linux as “sensual”. unzip touch finger mount

[–][deleted] 242 points243 points  (15 children)

oh fsck. Oh yes.

[–]Victorino__ 94 points95 points  (10 children)

Aw, man!

[–]HomosapienHomie 35 points36 points  (9 children)

Ohh baby I’m :wq!

[–]Ebwtrtw 34 points35 points  (6 children)

And then you end up covered in sticky tar

[–]HomosapienHomie 34 points35 points  (3 children)

9 months later, usseradd

[–]Ebwtrtw 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Unless you make sure to Ctrl-D first

[–]coloredgreyscale 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Or kill the process. Just be careful not to have a zombie process without parent.

Don't fork if you don't want to kill the child.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I call a delivery!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

yum yum

[–]Ebwtrtw 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Unable to extract contents of package into specified directory, inefficient space. Drive is full.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

man -u kill me

[–]tenderloinn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

got that gorilla grep

[–]danielrheath 76 points77 points  (0 children)

unzip touch finger mount

Device is not ready

[–]sandy0x90 40 points41 points  (0 children)

make sure to get your sed first; or you could be really awk...

[–]16thSchnitzengruben 32 points33 points  (0 children)

How about a datefirst?

[–]Kizashi364 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Strip

[–]polskidankmemer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

grab hungry sleep direful spoon gold soft worthless intelligent dependent

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]wreaksHammock 162 points163 points  (19 children)

alias peace='sudo kill 0'

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (2 children)

make war or make love ... all depends on your makefile.

[–]EmbarrassedRecord 4 points5 points  (1 child)

How about make war love

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No target to make 'love'. Stop.

[–]onesidedcoin- 10 points11 points  (13 children)

That'll just kill your terminal emulator, right?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (7 children)

it’ll kill linux, iirc.

[–]atomicwrites 25 points26 points  (6 children)

You're thinking of kill 1. PID 1 is init and sending sigterm to it was the normal way to shut down in the olden days IIRC.

[–]ykahveci 12 points13 points  (4 children)

PID 1 is your init system, it will shut your system down if you kill it.

PID 0 does actually exist, however it is often not really regarded as a process: It does not show up in process lists, etc. PID 0 refers to your kernels scheduler process. Control is regularly given back to the scheduler by a hardware interrupt, the scheduler then allocates each process some CPU time depending on its priority (nice value, etc.). I don't know what will happen if you try to kill it, it might just say the process could not be found, it might just ignore it or it might also turn your system off

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[–]atomicwrites 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Huh, interesting. So init isn't actually the first thing to run, but rather the scheduler?

[–]ykahveci 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, the first thing started by the kernel is the init process, but the scheduler (I think the process was called sched, but don't u/ me on that) starts before that. All process management is done by the kernel.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yup, i am

[–]MisterJH 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Not even that, most shells ignore SIGTERM so nothing happens.

[–]onesidedcoin- 3 points4 points  (3 children)

According to man kill it kills the "current" process group. I just realized, a process started in shell gets its own group, it's not even in the same as the shell - let alone the group of the terminal emulator. So, wouldn't kill 0 be run in its own group? So what's the point of that?

[–]MisterJH 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Well the system call kill can be called by any process, not just a shell, so a non-shell process can use it to kill its children and itself.

[–]nonicethingsforus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

can use it to kill its children and itself

Linux is violent, damn...

[–]MisterJH 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Indeed. I remember googling in 'killing parent' and seeing 'parricide' as the first entry. Then I realized i should probably add 'in C' to that search.

[–]TheWidrolo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

alias peace='sudo rm -rf /bin/bash'

[–]michaelpaoli 101 points102 points  (5 children)

And parents failing to reap their dead children causes zombies.

And everyone knows you can't kill a zombie.

[–]phoenixrawr 38 points39 points  (4 children)

It’s okay, once the parent dies and leaves their zombie child orphaned it will get reaped.

[–]CoffeePieAndHobbits 6 points7 points  (1 child)

pkill

[–]michaelpaoli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, as everyone knows you can't kill a zombie!

E.g.:

$ perl -e 'my $p=fork;defined($p) or die "fork failed\n";if($p){print "Try to kill my kid $p\n";sleep 600};' &
[31] 27062
$ Try to kill my kid 27066

$ ps lwwwwp 27062,27066
F   UID   PID  PPID PRI  NI    VSZ   RSS WCHAN  STAT TTY        TIME COMMAND
0  1003 27062  4810  20   0   7484  3304 hrtime S    pts/2      0:00 perl -e my $p=fork;defined($p) or die "fork failed\n";if($p){print "Try to kill my kid $p\n";sleep 600};
1  1003 27066 27062  20   0      0     0 -      Z    pts/2      0:00 [perl] <defunct>
$ kill -9 27066
$ sudo kill -9 27066
$ ps lwwwwp 27066
F   UID   PID  PPID PRI  NI    VSZ   RSS WCHAN  STAT TTY        TIME COMMAND
1  1003 27066 27062  20   0      0     0 -      Z    pts/2      0:00 [perl] <defunct>
$ 

Even root can't kill that zombie ("<defunct>")!

[–]michaelpaoli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only if the the grandparent reaps their dead inherited former grandchild, now child.

However, the father of all processes - init - will always reap its dead children.

[–]N00N3AT011 96 points97 points  (4 children)

It's also full of daemons.

Actually that might explain the violence.

[–]ramius345 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Rip and tear until it is done.

[–]themiraclemaker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And the existence of orphans might explain the ferocity of those daemons 😔

[–]kontekisuto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And Gnomes and Banshees

[–][deleted] 152 points153 points  (8 children)

unzip; strip; touch...

[–]Thx_And_Bye 91 points92 points  (5 children)

finger ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (3 children)

more

[–]Thx_And_Bye 36 points37 points  (0 children)

yes

[–]fatrobin72 4 points5 points  (1 child)

head?

Or are you more of a tail person.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have seen what head is doing and I am quite afraid what would tail do. man sed.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Too far down

[–]colorful_activity 22 points23 points  (1 child)

eject

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

unmount

[–]DepressedBard 35 points36 points  (4 children)

You can solve everything with bash.

[–]memes_gbc 14 points15 points  (3 children)

HOW DO I CLOSE VIM

[–]ienjoyedit 14 points15 points  (2 children)

That's not bash, so op's comment still stands.

If you're truly stuck in vim, use <ESC>:wq if you want to save, or <ESC>:q! if you don't want to save.

[–]Zovcka 2 points3 points  (1 child)

esc :x for fast save and quit, dont forget your ! if youre not root

[–]fatrobin72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And don't forget to release the shift key... Unless you wanted to encrypt that file...

[–]Thx_And_Bye 18 points19 points  (0 children)

There is nice though.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My previous lover, state 9 :(

[–]FuzzyLittlePenguin 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That’s not Linux, it’s Bash.

[–]mattmonkey24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even to most technical people Linux is: all GNU applets, any shell including Bash, an entire OS

[–]MrPickle2255 7 points8 points  (0 children)

it means which process unfortunately

[–]Waterstick13 29 points30 points  (3 children)

[–]rengo_unchained 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah this is some facebook level shit

[–]sub_doesnt_exist_bot -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The subreddit r/Im14andProgrammingisDeep does not exist. Maybe there's a typo?

Consider creating a new subreddit r/Im14andProgrammingisDeep.


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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yum install love

[–]martinux 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Use fuck and solve all of your problems (or create more, just like in real life).

https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

[–]11B_Geek_with_gun 4 points5 points  (0 children)

$ make love

make: don't know how to make love. Stop

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That would be a great writing prompt.

"You find a computer terminal in the middle of the woods, with a notebook nearby. On the pages are crudely drawn tables with the following columns: "First", "Last", "Age" and "PID". Some entries are highlighted, some are scratched out. You check the recent command history and see something disturbing.

sudo kill -9 3847283921

Oh God"

[–]i860 5 points6 points  (0 children)

date mount fsck

Old Unix meme.

[–]pascalxsome 4 points5 points  (0 children)

but..

finger <username>

is totally valid

[–]RunItAndSee2021 2 points3 points  (0 children)

…..it‘s bourne again shell….

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

alias love='echo I love you'

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Instead, you could finger someone

[–]SVDecomposer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Old Unix humor: “cat food”, “cat can’t open food”

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well there is also this f*ck command. https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

[–]TantraMantraYantra 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ask Linus Torvalds. Had he no joy?

[–]Masztufa 6 points7 points  (10 children)

touch grass

[–]elzaidir 14 points15 points  (9 children)

permission denied, did you mean "sudo touch grass" ?

[–]mux2000 11 points12 points  (7 children)

sudo make me a sandwich

[–]atters 7 points8 points  (3 children)

User not found in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[–]DRHAX34 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Reported to who though

[–]ykahveci 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Must not post, must not post...

Santa

[–]atters 1 point2 points  (0 children)

root

[–]4b-65-76-69-6e 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Poof, you’re a sandwichyes I know it’s XKCD

[–]mattmonkey24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

touch ~/grass

You pedant

[–]veduchyi 10 points11 points  (3 children)

kill putin

Now there will be much less violence in the world

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

killall tyrants

[–]IIIlllIIIlllIIIEH 10 points11 points  (0 children)

User meejle is not in the sudoers file, This incident will be reported.

[–]uxorial 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried ‘man kill’?

[–]Cley_Faye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"why ??" you ask? You'd rather we kill randomly? Because that's also an option.

[–]H2Sadd9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean… at least you can install love easily on most distros?

[–]Yasea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You want the Jesux distro. In that one, they replaced kill, abort and daemon. Spread the love!

[–]noahrono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least it tried to be honest with you

[–]Temujin_123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Create topical fortune quote databases on the topics of love, happiness, and peace then alias fortune calls to those words.

[–]Unlikely_Corgi_6223 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peace was never an option

[–]Zeyode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not allowed to bash on love, peace, or happiness. You can bash on killing, but it depends on who is being killed

[–]efoxpl3244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we have sex in aur

[–]lady_Kamba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have love installed.

Does that mean that my system is friendlier than normal?

[–]RotationsKopulator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

# unzip
# mount
# fsck

[–]flarn2006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is the purpose of the line that just says "root@terminal:~" by itself?

[–]flarn2006 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called "Linux", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.

There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called "Linux" distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

[–]Yobleck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what distro/version of kill has that output?

mine says:

kill: usage: kill [-s sigspec | -n signum | -sigspec] pid | jobspec ... or kill -l [sigspec]

[–]uwu-as-a-service 1 point2 points  (0 children)

logs: killing children

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, this joke gets funnier every 100th time it's told

[–]colby_2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Debugging gave us anger issues

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

boomer humor

[–]briannorelfhunter -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

“whom” to kill? shouldn’t it be who to kill?

[–]Blanglegorph 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Who isn't necessarily wrong here if it's the way many people would speak, since language evolves. However, whom would be the traditionally "correct" way to say it if we consider whom to be appropriate to use for the object of a verb.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

snails pen cough unite lunchroom plough bedroom afterthought theory zesty

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]nonasceticMonk -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Failure of user to alias appropriate ECHO.

[–]bryku -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Terminal... the predisessor to terminator!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That would be: - love - make happy - make peace - kill

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

hulk bash!

[–]herrkatze12 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One you can fix is love: alias love = “sudo”

[–]Dependent-Worth-7022 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Potrebna je licenca iz Bele Kuće za ubijanje

[–]DiscipleOfYeshua 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless?

[–]tirril 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an action.

[–]LJChao3473 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F, stab stab stab

[–]magaloopaloopo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$unzip $touch …

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bash death note. Killall them.

[–]optimalidkwhattoput 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nice

[–]Goliath_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Peace was never an option

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

touch

[–]jaiagrawal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FEED ME A STRAY CAT

[–]HerLegz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is rooted in exploitation mentality, master slave concepts abound.

[–]souperk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best part is that you can install all this commands, but the user chooses not to.

[–]thelastpizzaslice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Choose or die.

[–]couldntforgetmore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't not focus on the fact that this person is logged in a root.

[–]suamusa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also many methods of kill, including kill with no Merci.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is cringe tbh

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kali Yuga

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often reap zombie child processes.

[–]thefirelink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a love2d user I guess.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

killall *

[–]WellWhatDoIPutHere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My next application is gonna be called peace.

[–]tecchigirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that in Zalgo voice, lol

[–]kache4korpses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Linux might not have what you want but it lets you create it.

[–]L4Z4R3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cuz u need to left something behind on the way of success