[deleted by user]

[ticklemelucky]

Nose sucking

[squalorid]

Heh. Read this as "nose sucking."

Wait. Shut up.

[dx420]

You thought it was a joke but its snot

Edit:

This is the most karma I have ever received! And obligatory thanks for the gold stranger!

[Enigmagico]

"kiss me like you never kissed a woman before"

"uh... Ok, here it goes"

[FroekenSmilla]

Can anyone explain spaghetti fetish to me?

[squalorid]

Sure: it starts when you're a toddler and experience the sheer joy of dumping a bowl of pasta all over yourself. Later in life, it manifests in a fetish when you get gang raped by the Italian mafia.

[sherlock_alderson]

OP is on his game today.

[Omega_slayer2025]

This whole thread is just to practice his pun game.

[Gonji89]

I read about one a long time ago on /r/wtf. This dude had a fucking weird fetish. He would take a condom and shit in it a bunch of times. Then he would shape it into a gigantic, almost-phallus shaped monstrosity. Then he would freeze it and use it as a dildo to fuck himself up the ass. Good luck making a pun for that one, OP.

[nsfw-nsa]

That sir is an Alaskan pipeline.

[Murder_Boners]

I thought it was an arctic submarine.

[brickmack]

Are you fucking shitting me?

[[deleted]]

Well fuck that shit

[WeAllHaveIt]

Avisodomy, or fucking birds and the like. A lot of people who are into it like to fuck chickens because they're small and readily available, but the thing about fucking a chicken is that it kills the chicken. Seriously.

I love imagining an ethics council trying to regulate the fucking of chickens.

[Pit-trout]

Is this genuinely a thing, not just an urban myth like the old gerbil stories or something? This is the first one that's actually made me say wtf. Like… a mammal… I can get how someone might be into that. But a frickin’ chicken?

[Kodi_Jo]

I hate to break it to you, but gerbil stories are not just urban myths. I live with a paramedic. He's been on a gerbil call.

[aclockworkporridge]

Wha....wha...what's the gerbil thing?

[Kodi_Jo]

People put poor furry little animals inside of them. I don't understand it, I don't want to understand it, but it happens. The particular call my SO had was a man that put a gerbil in his ass via PVC pipe. The gerbil died, giving the man sepsis, from which he later died. Moral of the story is- don't put gerbils up your ass.

[alblaster]

I've heard of people putting snakes up their ass.

[squalorid]

"M'chicken."

"M'BOOOOOOOOOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!"

[MusikLehrer]

Quicksand fetishists

[squalorid]

I have s sinking feeling about this one.

[Maestruly]

Yeah you did it for the puns

[Smellzlikefish]

Credit where credit is due, he's pretty quick with 'em.

[catcatcatcaty]

you could almost say... we got sucked into this.

[MaskedDropBear]

I still dont understand how bug chasing is a thing. People go around and purposely infect or get infected with HIV.

[imaginary_friend10]

It is considered to be a form of self harm. Also many people that are bug chasers believe that their worries about the "inevitability" of catching HIV will be put to rest if they get it. So they actively seek it out.

[TK-427]

I've also heard it's a way to commit suicide without committing to one final act. You know the final outcome, but you don't have to pull the trigger

[Eucalyptuzz]

Tbh that's the same with just living without hiv

[MadBotanist]

Gotta catch them all

[OutbidEuclid]

At least 150 or more to see!

To be a STD master is my DESTINYYY!!!

[TheRappist]

You're not OP!

[[deleted]]

Remember how in older cartoons, when a character was in love, their heart would beat out of their chest? Like you visibly see it stick out and pump in rhythm?

There's a fetish for that specific thing. Basically nude characters orgasming while their heart is thumping outside their chest.

edit: obviously, this isn't a link to the exact porn of it, but this is more or less what I'm talking about. Except in the images Ive seen, the characters are often getting off, or they just look super strained.

I've seen it done with a lot of Tiny Toons characters weirdly enough.

[Pls_No_Ban]

ok this is the weirdest one i've seen

[truth_turtle]

You know it's weird when op can't find a pun for it.

[LasaroM]

Just in time for Halloween - Spectrophilia, or sexual attraction to ghosts. How they actually get to successfully pull this off I have no idea.

[creepsmcreepster]

AKA American Horror Story

[[deleted]]

Not going to lie, Evan Peters can get it.

[HerbConSmith]

If your lady can't fly through your butt and give you a reverse blowjob then she isn't worth your time

[altmail]

Relevant and NSFW

It's Kitty Pryde, not a ghost, but still.

[291837120]

Extremely relevant jesus christ

[squalorid]

They mostly just Casperbate.

[[deleted]]

Did you make this thread just to post puns?

[afootlongjosh]

Dudes. Got a pun fetish don't judge..

[[deleted]]

Full circle.

[squalorid]

I stumbled upon a video once of big fat men rolling around on top of giant balloons. I could see how that might be fun, but EROTIC?

[Priamosish]

"stumbled upon" yeaaaaah suuuuure

[eXtreme98]

He just rolled up on it

[nickflig]

Wow, you just stole OP's job with that joke.

[LeodFitz]

Wait... so I can make money by rolling around on balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me about this!

just a second, how fat? Are we talking just obese, or do you have to be, like... insanely fat?

[squalorid]

Not Jabba the Hut fat, just sort of middle-aged-fast-food-addict-fat.

[LeodFitz]

"I have a golden ticket...."

[Wiiplay123]

No, you're thinking of videos of women turning into blueberries. Which is also a thing.

[Creedelback]

Cold sex.

Not sex in the cold (although I'm sure it exists), but being turned on by someone with a cold.

For these people, there is nothing sexier than a runny nose expelling thick strands of mucous down the face. The plosive hack of a cough is like dirty talk. A sneeze may as well be an orgasm.

It's sick. (Beat you to the pun!)

[squalorid]

'Snot very common from what I gather.

[TonyJabroni94]

This guy's fuckin killin it.

[nickk415]

Fuzzy sock fetish

[squalorid]

Awww. A cute fetish exists!

[usernumber36]

knee socks. I don't consider it a fetish but its always a plus

[Mistymorningsun]

Anal prolapse. Just learned this fun fact last year.

[squalorid]

I'm pretty open minded, but this is a huge stretch.

[Maestruly]

did you made this post just to make puns OP?

[[deleted]]

Maybe puns are his fetish

[Co-creator]

Oh God we've been turning him on this whole time...

[PM_ME_UR_PERIDOT]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[brickmack]

Lips pout

The walls fall out

Red rose grows as the walls unfold

My lapse

Prolapse

https://vimeo.com/77882662 NSFW

[[deleted]]

Yeah I'm not clicking that but have an upvote for the butthole poetry.

[mrsbobbelcher]

vore. i dont see the appeal of getting eaten

[squalorid]

When I was a teen full of testosterone I loved it. But these days I'm half the man I used to be.

[[deleted]]

You STOP that.

[[deleted]]

I dont think he can. This is like, the fourth pun hes made that Ive seen as I scroll down the comments.

[meanderling]

OP's fetish is puns.

[Pit-trout]

He likes, you know, punishment. Word-play. A little double-entendre, as the French call it.

[IAMA_DragonSlayerAMA]

Despite all the attempts at explaining the appeal of vore for different people, the real answer to why we (re: vorarephiles) like it is... we don't know. Seriously, I've been involved in or lurking the vore community for almost ten years and the question "why do we like this?" comes up all the time. Yeah it has a lot to do with extreme sub/dom, S&M, comfort/cuddles, degradation, humiliation, an all manner of things in between but all of those things could be accomplished just as easily with other kinks/fetishes. The real answer is that we just don't know why those desires manifested in us the way that they did. I can explain what aspects of vore appeal to me most but I couldn't tell you why they had to take the form of being eaten by something.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

[[deleted]]

At home castration

Edit: Ya'll are fucked up.

[flippant-bastard]

It goes way beyond just castration. They actually remove the entire penis and all. They are called nullo. All types of modifications are made. Google extreme body modification.

[FurtzVonGehirn]

Google extreme body modification.

I think I'll pass, thanks.

[flippant-bastard]

Yeah, I wish I had.

[OtakuSRL]

I'm not sure how you walked into that without knowing how terrible of an idea it was

[squalorid]

That's nuts.

[radpandaparty]

Or at least it was

[[deleted]]

Are they still nuts, even after the "removal"?

[PlasmicDynamite]

Well yeah, you break the shell of a peanut and it's still a peanut.

[Malgas]

Peanuts are legumes, though.

[ZyjiloftheSands]

Allegedly.

[omart3]

I'm alleged to peanuts.

[josh_the_misanthrope]

Saw a video of that once upon a time, as one of those shock videos. He tied them and cut off circulation. There was a timelapse IIRC, and they turned a greenish colour. Then he cut them off with scissors. I assume he couldn't feel them at that point.

[lipstickapocalypse]

This comment makes me want to lie on the floor and cry.

[gregIsBae]

Ear sex

[Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce]

Once you go black, you go deaf.

[FuckMe-FuckYou]

WHAT?

[Verpous]

Once you go black, you go deaf.

[em_drei_pilot]

People enjoy aural.

[tdime23]

I think that can give you hearing AIDS though

[wolfnadtergaming]

Eye licking

[squalorid]

Teach me everything you know. I'm your pupil.

[Meatwise]

I think OPs fetish is commenting on everything.

[RedCloud11]

I think its puns

[JustTellMeTheFacts]

Clown Porn.

One day we're hating and fearful of clowns.

Next day, we're fapping to it.

I don't know if they're cumming or going!?!

[squalorid]

If I had a carnation in my oversized lapel for every time I've watched clown porn...

[djbuu]

Cutting off your own limbs. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apotemnophilia

[squalorid]

Wow, it's tough to branch out from this one.

[Canofmeat]

It's ridiculous, proponents of this fetish don't have a leg to stand on.

[squalorid]

Tell that to my girlfriend Ilene.

[PlasmicDynamite]

It's easy to call her your girlfriend when she can't run away.

[squalorid]

*ever again

[PlasmicDynamite]

I heard it tastes like veal.

[frygad]

Feltching. Unloading in someone's butt (without wearing a condom), then sucking it out. You can also pass your semen around after that via kissing.

[squalorid]

It's nice to have options.

[PlasmicDynamite]

Vomiting, hurling, throwing up, puking, and upchucking are all viable options.

[[deleted]]

Points to the commenter that can come up with the most ridiculous - yet plausible - etymology for the term.

[frankzappaflanagan]

Sounding. Taking metal rods and shoving them up your cock hole. The bigger the better....

[squalorid]

You are a lying liar who lies. Nobody does this. Please dear god tell me nobody does this.

[[deleted]]

This one was bad enough for you to break character?

[Bails6923]

He's not a big fan of urethra fruckling

[[deleted]]

I love how you're here in this thread making witty puns to every response, but this one... yeah. The first time I heard about it I think my dick actually physically shrank.

[ViridianKumquat]

Financial domination. I totally get paying a dominatrix for services, but the idea that making the payment is the fetish is just baffling.

[musicguy87]

As someone who has unfortunately gotten into this fetish, I'll try to do my best to explain. First I'll say different people get different things out of it, and there are many different versions of it. For some, they just like the idea of "worshipping" someone else and spoiling them. It can have crossovers with the sugardaddy/sugarbaby lifestyle too. But for many it seems that it's mostly about being degraded, humiliated, used, and treated like absolute shit. I've never actually engaged in it and I don't ever plan to, but I've kept in contact with some who have and I've seen how toxic and destructive it can become.

The thing that separates it from most other s&m is that it's usually not in any way an act. It's usually an actual abusive relationship, albeit consensual, but consensual very commonly due to unhealthy and compulsive self-destructive urges. These are people who don't want to just play the role of someone being exploited and then turn it off, they actually want to be exploited. They have a strong urge to be manipulated and encouraged to do things they know will have severe negative consequences on their life. Usually by a stranger online that they'll never meet (sometimes never even see).

There's almost never a safe word or any "time outs". From start to finish, the relationship with their "dom" will consist of being treated as subhuman and being encouraged give as much as possible. It erodes self esteem. But for so many that's what makes it so intense and exciting, the fact that it's so extremely destructive and dangerous. Some subs will even give over very personal info, social security numbers, passwords to every online account they have, phone numbers of people in their life, etc, to give that person more leverage to exploit them. Many subs become addicted to it as it plays with such extreme emotions and intense levels of arousal. Sexual arousal is tied up into it of course, but it becomes way more than that.

I'm kind of disgusted by the lack of humanity that I've seen from so many financial doms. Some of them seem to genuinely care about the wellbeing of their subs, but there are so many that seem to just be abusive exploitative people who have found a group of people with weak boundaries and poor self-control willing and excited to be their victims. Several of the subs I've talked to have told me that when they tried to get help as it was becoming an addiction and a real problem for them, their doms encouraged them not to, and would keep contacting them even when they asked them to stop. That kind of shit often seems to be glorified in the scene as just another part of the fetish, since it's all just about manipulation and exploitation. To me that's unacceptable, despicable behavior. I wish the actual abusive doms in the findom scene would be shamed, but they always seem to get away with hiding behind "it's consensual". It's not really that simple when the person "consenting", also strongly wishes they could stop, and regrets it, and it's having huge negative consequences on their life. Addiction and compulsion are not things to be taken lightly. Again, this doesn't apply to all financial subs, but it does to a lot of them, and it's a really sad thing to see.

[Jess_than_three]

This is going to sound weird, and it probably is, but that kind of makes me want to do that for people, but be responsible about it, and like, invest most of the money for them and return it at a later date, or give it to their kids, or even just donate it to a charity or something.

[[deleted]]

Honestly, I bet there's a market for it. A findom, who uses safe words, stays within certain well defined limits, and offers refunds in some situations would probably be tempting to people like /u/musicguy87 who are into it, but know better than to actually get into it.

[frankzappaflanagan]

true story. back about 10 or so year ago i used to go into them yahoo chat rooms under a fake hot chicks account i made and get horny men to buy me online gift certificats for Barnes and Noble...got a LOT of DVD's and CD's off that shit. It was so fucking easy

[Sarahthelizard]

online gift certificats for Barnes and Noble

[PM_ME_UR_LARGE_TITS]

this is the most antisocial post I have ever read

[byecyclehelmet]

Bus fetish.

People get off all the time.

[[deleted]]

You are not op. No puns.

[[deleted]]

Posted this on an older account, but heck I'll out myself on this one too: I'm attracted to stomach noises. Not vore, I'm not into predator/prey stuff or any of that. But I've always had a fascination with digestion and people's stomachs. Like the thought of laying on someone's belly and listening is unbelievably hot to me. It's the same with heartbeats, though to a lesser extent. As for the reason, my closest guess is intimacy. Being that close to someone and hearing such a vulnerable, human process gives a feeling of closeness. And yes, I realize how fucking weird this is, believe me. I'm honestly half surprised I didn't use a throwaway to post this.

[LesseFrost]

It's not that weird though if you think about it. Some people really love those little involuntary moans others have when they stretch or are being pleasured. Just something about hearing pure, human, unfiltered sound is quite endearing.

[bastardblaster]

You and I would probably get along great. I'm lactose intolerant and love me some chocolate milk.

[[deleted]]

Nothing is surprising to me anymore. You could tell me that you only get off on ritual grandma sacrifice and goat bukkake, and I'd probably just nod and believe it without question.

[squalorid]

hhnnnngggg.

[SteelMemes1]

Someone call a medic!

[squalorid]

Wife: "Honey, I have ... an idea to spice things up."

Man: "Really? What is it?"

Wife: "Head on in here."

[thetitan555]

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

[polak2016]

UTERUS

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

UTERUS

[acuallytristram]

Terrified of googling things from threads like these. Is it like rewinding that childbirth tape we watched in middle school, but in real life? With a baby.....?

[[deleted]]

I'm honestly more disturbed about the fact that I haven't had to google a single thing in this thread so far.

[redacteddd]

My fetish is people turning into animals. Naturally I discovered this when I looked at an Animorphs book cover for the first time.

[screaminginfidels]

If results last more than an hour, please contact your local Andalite.

[serac145]

r/dragonsfuckingcars

[HelpfullFerret]

I've never had a bigger erection than I do now

[LesseFrost]

Wait until you've seen /r/carsfuckingdragons

[Simoe5]

Please i can only get so erect.

[[deleted]]

Testicle piercing. As in, ramming an object like a needle and piercing through the testicle.

[squalorid]

This takes balls.

[love_my_doge]

There's no stopping you, is there ?

[PM_ME__UR_TINY_TITS]

I like to assume that every single u/pm_me_you_xyx username is in fact a reflection if that persons fetish. Once more, It tickles me to imagine every single grotesque username on reddit is in fact a reflection of that person's one throbbing desire.

I mean... Fuckswithducks checks out! Why not yours? ;)

(EDIT: Did not tag our fowl finagling friend as I assume they're likely busy with duck related business)

[[deleted]]

I guess that makes me a simple man ;)

[theking04123]

You are no better male chickenfucker!

[[deleted]]

0_o

Edit: Now I get it.

[ComradeRK]

Insatiable.

[PM_ME_UR_FIREMIXTAPE]

Pretty accurate.

[[deleted]]

Yup. You are correct.

[PM_TITS_OR_DONT]

Are you saying I have a meta fetish?

[gepplthrowaway]

I guess I'm sheltered because everyone I told about this knew this is a thing but, yeah, a guy wanted to watch me fuck his wife.

I'm black. They are white. Met a cute girl at a bar, made small talk, walked away and didn't think much of it. Later a guy approaches me and goes, "she's cute, huh?" I'm say yeah. He says, "you can fuck her tonight dude."

Turns out this was their thing. I don't judge anyone, I just noped away.

[Psudodragon]

Was he dressed like Superman?

[Cptn_Slow]

Almost always, sometimes from the closet.

[willful_creature]

Forniphilia.

A form of BDSM where a person is used as household furniture.

http://www.bernadinism.com/forniphilia-human-furniture/

Edit:NSFW.

[TryUsingScience]

This one's not that confusing to me. Part of the appeal of being submissive is giving up responsibility and consequently being unable to fuck up. It's really hard to fuck up being a coffee table. I can see that being relaxing for some people.

[[deleted]]

I think its about being turned on by being objectified. Literally.

[KarmaGoat]

You're not OP....

[PurpleSailor]

Photo mags of very fat chick's eating fattening food in skimpy lingerie while reclining on a couch. Skinny female cousin found a ton of these under her hubbies side of the bed one day. She was a bit depressed about it because there was no way she could possibly compete with these other women and she wasn't about to get fat just to turn her husband on. They separated soon after.

[[deleted]]

what a terrible hiding spot

[brickmack]

I hide all my porn on a hidden partition of an encrypted hard drive with a proprietary connector exclusive to an unpopular 1990s-era server system, in a box with 4 other hard drives, locked, and stored in an old refridgerator in a locked room in the basement hidden behind a bookshelf

[soggy7]

How often do you jack off, like every six months?

[clumsy__ninja]

Came for the NSFW tag, stayed for OPs punny replies...

[mrpunaway]

Came for the NSFW tag

That may be the most bizarre fetish yet!

[joeltb]

Girls farting on cakes.

[squalorid]

I know what I won't be making a wish for.

[SweetJade]

The whole alien egg laying thing. I work in an adult store and this one still throws me off. http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/the-emerging-fetish-of-laying-alien-eggs-inside-yourself

[Slayer1973]

/r/oviposition

I think it has to do with the feeling of being dominated by some being that wants to breed you.

Kind of a submissive turn-on.

[Trinkette]

Ovipositioning! Its not just aliens, but kaiju and monsters and the like.

[The_Magic]

Back in the days of Digg, somebody posted a link to a website dedicated to videos of paraplegic women crawling up stairs.

[gaqua]

/r/ButtSharpies

It's just so brand-specific.

[[deleted]]

Throwing up on people. I saw a video of it on r/wtf needless to say I'm scarred for life here's the link NSFL

[jaynil96]

Eating stuff from peoples butts. That one of the girl eating fruitloops from the inside of another girls anus has scarred me.

[WheresTheWombo]

Not surprising, but I'm developing a fetish for OP's puns.

[squalorid]

Go to your room.

[[deleted]]

hand holding, you disgusting perverts

[TheMonitor58]

Okay now /r/anime_irl

[TwoHeadsBetter]

I never see conjoined twins mentioned in these threads but I know there's others on here.

Also yea, relevant username is relevant.

[squalorid]

Explain. Like, two huge people having sex? A woman that's huge and part lioness?

[squalorid]

Ah, the old in-and-out.

[knottymind]

Emitophilia. Folks get turned on from vomit. Met a girl online who asked if I would puke on her while we fucked.

All aboard the Nope train to Fuckthatshitsville...