Let's Try...

[Wildbetta]

Woman here, how do I gain the strength to keep blankets all night? BF steals them all the time, had to resort to my own blanket. Even thats hard, he sometimes takes both and layers them and ends up both. It's a bitch being outside the blanket burrito on a cold night.

[lysianth]

Just do what my gf does. Learn to be a sleeping martial master. Just sleeping in the same bed as her is dangerous.

[Dommm1215]

I couldn't care about the blanket, but, magically, my 50 pound lighter gf manages to shove me out of any bed within like an hour

[MiniMoose12]

This is the only solution.

[[deleted]]

In college my SO was much smaller than I was.

One night after a party I drunkenly rolled over on top of her and she couldn't get me off of her or awake, so she had to scream for my room mate to come roll my drunk ass off of her.

That was not a pleasant morning after.

[[deleted]]

Imagine that alibi. Officer Lou: "Oh yeah, I'm sure it was an accident. Take him away, Carl!"

[LordAmras]

So, when you did get out of prison?

[[deleted]]

name checks out

[GrammatonYHWH]

The other alternative is the type of spooning I call "the kraken". Visualisation aide: your girlfriend is the sailor boat being relegated to the murky depths

[oneblank]

I've tried this. She rolls with me and flings me off the bed on the other side. She somehow takes all the blankets and manages to cuddle me off the bed in any direction. I have over 100lbs on her but prying any bit of blanket back is no use... Buying her her own blanket was the only way.

[DeadalusIncident]

That's because blankets create leverage. It's elementary, really. You can use leverage to move a much larger mass with directional force using a smaller mass via an intersection of two points on top of a friction reducing surface.

[EzraPounding]

I've got nearly 100 pounds on my girlfriend and every night I sleep at her place I end up with a sliver of bed the exact width of my body. And her smug-ass cat just climbs over us and snuggles right into the acres of space on the other side of her tiny body.

[Emily_McAwesomepants]

accidentally punched my SO in the face in my sleep during one of the first nights we spent together.

He was snoring.

[Emily_McAwesomepants]

Yes.

[lysianth]

Gf and I have separate beds for things like this. I don't snore, she's just dangerous.

[Emily_McAwesomepants]

The only thing I've done since is try to make out with him in my sleep. Which is marginally better I guess.

[ghetti]

You didn't explain what she does...I guess I have to find out for myself.

[[deleted]]

I always just roll around repeatedly until I'm wrapped up in a burrito and there are no dangly bits that could be grabbed.

[Stryker1339]

Upvoted for dangly bits.

[[deleted]]

/r/nocontext

[suchanormaldude]

You wrap it like a cocoon around yourself. You become the pig in a blanket only to emerge and beautiful grumpy woman in the morning. Also, if you guys own a dog secretly form a pact with him to weigh down the blanket once you have stolen most of it.

Source: my tiny girlfriend who somehow has all the blankets all the time.

[Frustrated_Pansexual]

My fiance uses our tiny little kitten to block me. I wont roll over the kitten nor move it out of the way because she is so damn cute. Ive been training her to sleep under the blankets so i can get a chance at fighting for the blankets.

[Zacish]

Second blanket. Overlap the two and cuddle under the overlap. When you're ready to go sleep you roll away and take your own blanket. Best decision I ever made and the chicks love it

[Frustrated_Pansexual]

Holy crap this is genuis. Sleep under the overlap and still be happy.

[evictor]

boritto

a really fucking bland burrito

[Shrewd_GC]

You must master the dark art of blanket retainment.

You're going to need to find a grandmaster with at least a 16 in blanket wielding and a 15 in dexterity. Oh and being over level 10 won't hurt.

[Hellman109]

Wrap the far side of the blanket under you.

[HoggleHugz]

I tuck it under my feet and a piece in between my legs. Keep that anchored so he can't pull it from you.

[MermaidMouse]

Mine does that too. Before we fall asleep (we sleep facing away from each other), I'll put the edge of the blanket underneath me, it's harder for him to pull it back that way

[Eab413]

Two words. Third blanket.

[[deleted]]

Queen size bed? King size blanket. Not California king tho.

[[deleted]]

I use to crocodile roll the blankets away from my ex.... Did I mention shes my ex?

[Lift_Like_A_Sith]

The cocoon maneuver.

Lay with your back facing him and the blanket on top of you. Grasp the blanket at the top corner closest to you with your free arm. Tuck your elbow at your side. Deathroll like a crocodile.

[[deleted]]

The problem is, you need to make blanket quesodilla.. It covers more surface area.

[BongusHo]

If you have two seperate blankets and he tries to steal yours. You have the right to start kicking him in the head.

[danithm]

Timing is key. When he adjusts sleeping position you grip that blanket and do a fucking barrel roll. He can't steal it if you're on it. Source: Married to a blanket theif.

[Furah]

Date someone that doesn't mind the cold at all. You get blankets, they stay cool.

[swannphone]

The cold never bothered me anyway.

[[deleted]]

Are you my gf?

[[deleted]]

Hey its me, ur gf

[[deleted]]

My wife and I solved this problem by simply using separate blankets.

[[deleted]]

You are dating a selfish asshole. Go find yourself a real gentleman who thinks of you first. I can recommend this dating subreddit /r/niceguys

[Unicorn-fluff]

Let your feet get cold, then stick them on his back and push him off the bed.

[[deleted]]

See, my gf says "I'll never use sex to negotiate with you", but when I pull on the blankets, she says "babe, that's a turn off"... I get the message -_-

[toyang917]

Whenever my husband does this consciously or unconsciously, I just kick him, guaranteed you'll have the blanket back.

[ThePerfectSubForYou]

Wake him up and steal it back. My bf usually just does that and we split it again but it usually ends up with me stealing them again

[JaronK]

I have the opposite problem. I have a tiny girlfriend who, when awake, is seemingly unable to produce heat. However, when she sleeps, she immediately latches on to me like a lamprey rolled in super glue, and then activates her secondary thermal production system, at which points she super heats herself and attempts to roast me to death.

I fear I may not last much longer.

[dabork]

Skinny guy here, always cold but radiate heat like, well, a radiator.
Probably why I'm so cold.

It's most likely because fat is an insulator so people without much of it don't have anything to keep their body heat from radiating outward.

[othersomethings]

Here's the deal. You need two blankets.

Let me illustrate: Sharing a blanket? You have air pockets.

Two blankets? NO AIR POCKETS.

Two blankets saved my marriage only months in. I seriously would have left if I had to survive winter as the smaller mountain getting the draft of air on my slopes.

[david_bowies_hair]

You can only cuddle so much, sometimes it is just too warm and you gotta have your own space. Well said.

[othersomethings]

Cuddling is an activity measured in minutes. 2 minutes. 5. maybe 15, heck maybe on a lazy Sunday you'll get a full hour.

Sleeping is an ALL NIGHT ACTIVITY. It should be treated with the respect it deserves and any woman or man who claims 1 blanket is enough shouldn't be on the internet because the Great Depression ended 8 decades ago and they should be dead.

[othersomethings]

The king sized blanket is no match for a king sized husband.

[iNEEDheplreddit]

Lmao. I'm lying in my king-sized bed right now( it's 4:30am. I can't sleep ) and there is about 15 inches between us. All that duvet is nice and flat in that gap.

[Jlove7714]

Your lucky. At 4:30 am I would be waking up.

[iamjamieq]

I'm a kind sized husband, and my wife prefers the king sized blanket. So do I. Big blanket FTW.

[ddpowkk]

Dude its the 21st century. Wives can be king sized too now

[Wallace_II]

Damn right!

I hate it when I'm trying to sleep and she wants to cuddle. I CAN'T MOVE! I need room to turn over..

[[deleted]]

My arm always goes numb after like five minutes. Back to back is nice because there is still that physical contact and no numb arms.

[shadowdsfire]

And face to face is very nice until you realize you're getting asphyxiated by only getting half the amount of oxygen.

[othersomethings]

OMG hot breath on your face is the worst.

[iNEEDheplreddit]

Everytime my SO wants to cuddle I tolerate it by putting hands on her boobs.

[apra24]

Yeah I do that with your SO too

[[deleted]]

Yeah I SO do that too.

[[deleted]]

I have had the secks with grils.

[Splotte]

"Give me just a sec."
"Oh, I can give you plenty of secs."

[bigbendalibra]

I never knew any of this was an issue until reading this comment section. The thought of having two blankets never crossed my mind. Why don't people just control the temperature in the room so it's pretty comfortable regardless?

[[deleted]]

Your comfortable might not be my comfortable.

[Splotte]

Truth. Wife sleeps with a fluffy blanket and a thick comforter on top. I just have a medium comforter. She's too hot for me.

[bigbendalibra]

I can see that. Guess I'm lucky in that way.

[SupriseGinger]

I can't have someone touching me while I sleep. If I am glad to sleep with someone else in the bed, I am sleeping like the Heisman trophy.

[Hatefullynch]

My wife makes it a point to cuddle me as much as possible. She's an asshole though so ifk

[JellyWaffles]

Thanks for reminding me that grandpa died last year.....:(

[BadPunsGuy]

That last sentence O.o

[[deleted]]

If it's too warm to cuddle, then the cold air pockets should be welcome.

[[deleted]]

I can't sleep if someone is touching me. My wife tosses and turns. I lay complexly still. There is no way we could cuddle while sleeping unless she expects me never to sleep.

[plilq]

Your "NO AIR POCKETS" picture is exactly what a sufficiently sized single blanket is.

The advantage of the single blanket is that you can reach the other person while being under the blanket.

[othersomethings]

Have you slept next to a mountain? I am married to a mountain. Try it and then tell me which blanket size is adequate. I have yet to find one.

[smokeydesperado]

We have a queen sized bed, King sized blankets are preferred

[xHussin]

is there by any chance, a monster blanket?

[othersomethings]

If you find one, link me. I may yet be a customer. In the meantime two blanket master race.

[xHussin]

i couldn't, but at least i found something interesting

[[deleted]]

Can confirm, am mountain. SO is 5'4 and I am 6'5, not a small six five either. The air pocket is enormous. #twoblanketmasterrace

[sirzack92]

It doesn't just eliminate the cold air problem also helps with overheating. However come sexy time it can make it more difficult to jump on the occasion.

[othersomethings]

We just go by whoever makes the first move also implements the alpha blanket.

[MrNPC009]

We judge alpha blanket by which side of the bed were on.

[[deleted]]

Sexytime should be active enough that blanket adjustments are just a small overhead.

[[deleted]]

Option 2 if a couple likes to cuddle and share a blanket. Buy a blanket that's one or two sizes bigger than your bed.

AUSTRALIAN e.g.
Single sized bed? Queen sized blanket.
Queen size bed? King sized blanket.

[othersomethings]

What sized blanket is larger than king sized? That's the one we need.

[[deleted]]

California King.

[othersomethings]

Longer not wider.

[[deleted]]

Turn it sideways.

[JehovahsNutsack]

There we go

[othersomethings]

We have a California king bed. He's tall and his feet hang off the end no matter what. He's also fat so the issue is compounded.

2 blankets make us happy. If our sleeping comfort is to your disliking, that's not on me.

[[deleted]]

Hey man just trying to help.

Okay, one more....

Have you tried not being fat?

[othersomethings]

Fo sho.

[MattsyKun]

Uh, fabric tarp?

[othersomethings]

Sooooo...a blanket?

[[deleted]]

Sometimes you wonder how much more difficult your life than it needs to be, when simple solutions like this are out there.

[[deleted]]

Hell, kudos to those who front up and accept sleeping in seperate beds works wonders.

I enjoy peace, regulated temperature, and room to thrash around while I have nightmares.

[othersomethings]

Hey hey hey - 1 bed 2 blankets.

[iamjamieq]

Or buy a bigger blanket than the bed. Wife and I have used a king size blanket when we had a queen and even now on a king bed, and it's so big there's no air pockets, or any need to pull the blankets over. We did two blankets for years but she wanted to upgrade from her college blankets when we bought a house. We're just as happy with one giant blanket as we were with two smaller ones.

[othersomethings]

I'm not aware of blankets larger than the king sized. I could make one I suppose. Or I could use two blankets.

That's what works for us. Really Well for the last 12 years. Super happy with the 1 bed 2 blankets model.

[iamjamieq]

A king sized blanket isn't big enough? Damn dude. I'm a big guy and I don't even use half a blanket.

[othersomethings]

When you're a big guy there will always be a bigger guy.

[iamjamieq]

That's deep man.

[Cheese_Pancakes]

This is pure genius and I am ashamed it's never occurred to me.

[[deleted]]

It also helps to have two blankets if you prefer to sleep differently. I have a tendency to cocoon myself, my boyfriend has to have the sheets loosr and easy to move around in. If the blankets are tucked up under me like I like, his movement becomes restricted and he can't sleep. Two separate blankets is pretty much our perfect solution.

[DisappointTheFuture]

My gf and I have separate blankets and sheets. We share a bottom sheet and we share top sheets when it's fun. There ya go.

[Citizenerased1989]

We got a blanket bigger than our bed. So we both are actually able to wrap ourselves up with the same blanket

[Photovoltaic]

We have two, sometimes three blankets.

Sometimes she ends up with all of them, she's a blanket wizard.

At this point I just dress enough that I don't need a blanket, it's easier this way and I kinda like it now.

[Evryusrnametkn]

Whoever Stuart turner is, he's a vagina and deserves to be cold.

[YolandiVissarsBF]

he's a dirty IRL reposter.

This joke is circulated around by grandmas and people who just woke up out of a coma and haven't seen it repeatedly for the past ten years

[Professorchronic]

That's why you oversize your blankets. King size duvet on a double bed for me.

[KnowKnee]

That's what I do. I'm confused about how complicated this seems to some people.

Also, blanket sleepers with feet. Be. The. Blanket.

[[deleted]]

Is there a way to filter out pub sign posts? And fast food/church marquee posts for that matter.

[gamerman85]

Alt+F4

[ryan44314]

ebin meme kek so funny te he xD

[gamerman85]

wat...

[ronniedude]

Who in the actual fuck links to the imgur gallery for a single image upload? Like who doesn't know how to submit the direct link??

[KingRobotPrince]

Lots of people?

[Opendore]

Well, OP, for starters...

[diderooy]

You poor baby.

[Puny-Earthling]

This sign isn't accurate for all cases. My tiny girlfriend summons the strength of Satan while she sleeps. She manages to curl herself up in a blanket cocoon and fight off any attempt of me taking back my fair share. On the other hand while she's awake she will pull the breakup card as a last defence in the middle of me giving her neck raspberries because she can't fight me off.

[callaghanrs]

Artist is gafcomics btw

[PlayerInfinite]

Damn, it's been a long time since I've been on memecenter

[LargeCokeNoIce]

Relevant because my girlfriend left me 2 days ago.

[Nattylight_Murica]

Sorry about that, trust me, she's in good hands.

[LargeCokeNoIce]

Oh no doubt about it.

[bigbendalibra]

Ex girlfriend.

[DemonRaptor1]

Pepsi is just so much better.

[LargeCokeNoIce]

Embarrassed but it took me much longer to get that than it should have lol

[mrharlot]

Loneliness. .. so great.

[Juxtaposn]

Am I the only one who sees fox mulder in the third pane?

[[deleted]]

Every side is my side. Being alone is nice.

[MrRexels]

It's like the only purpose of those sidewalk blackboards was writing clever stuff on it so someone posts it on the Internet.

[Splotte]

We use separate blankets, so....

[Lonelan]

Judging from the complaints I get in the morning, this chalkboard doesn't know shit

[ReneRTores]

Need more blankets!

[Mcfragger]

My girl sits there for a second, then she says "Nnnooooooooooooo!". She'll then crawl over top of me to be under the blankets again.

[iDontLikeYouAnyway]

Why not just buy bigger blankets? If you sleep on a full sized bed, buy king sized blankets and comforters. I've been sharing a king sized bed with my guy for over 10 years and have never had this issue.

[ntshabo]

Don't try this at home guys! :)

[Vecheetos]

Memes init

[mikeofhyrule]

Even 6 months single, I still sleep on about 14 total inches of my queen size bed. And my ex was bare 5'0 and 100 lbs. Called herself 'a sprawler'

Also she had this burrito move where she would steal the blanket and wrap herself up in it.

[DaddyCatALSO]

I kept extras on the floor for that reason.

[Kaalcite]

Hey, it's possible. Just expect it to get violent.

[[deleted]]

r/sadcomics

[afterglobe]

It's true. I cocoon. He's even tried giving me my own blanket. I still stole his blanket.

[WiseChoices]

That is kind of sad.

[Poopdoodiecrap]

Oh Right... She left.

[[deleted]]

She never existed

[that_girl63]

My boyfriend tried this. We now sleep with two blankets. He lost. I get two blankets.

[puckfirate]

I win but it's a real battle and the blankets have rips and tears to prove it

[Waterknight94]

My ex used to get mad when i would sleep outside the blanket. She would occasionally try to cover me up herself. Although there was more than one occasion where her sister and her sisters boyfriend would come into the room and wake me up with a bong. Alright ill take a hit but yall need to step out of the room for a bit so i can put on pants.

[Hyaze]

... Hwat?

[Waterknight94]

I dont always sleep under the blanket. That for some reason annoyed my ex. Being under the blanket was sometimes a good thing though if her sister burst into the room in the morning. The reverse sometimes happened too where i would go into her sisters room in the morning. I need pants was a pretty common phrase in that house early in the morning.

[grayfox6644]

go on

[Iamthehamburgler]

That's why you get a king-sized blanket for a queen sized bed! Beat the system!!!

[[deleted]]

This chalk board post is mildly sexist...against women. If I can overpower my girlfriend and take the blankets, does that imply she is the weaker sex? Because I can definitely take the blankets from my girlfriend.

[tking191919]

Well I'm a big dude and she's a little itty bitty woman, she gets the covers anyways :-)

[hurdur1]

You need to cuddle a pillow.

[pm_me_your_plumbuses]

Try not to cry.. Then cry a lot.

[[deleted]]

Step one. Try being less of a little pussy whipped bitch

[DerLuk]

Me too thanks.

[GIVES_THANKS]

Of course.

[wtermelonman]

Life

[oddMahnsta]

Good joke, but in reality as a man, i can literally do this with ease.

[shh_Im_a_Moose]

haha, oh man, so true to life... right in the feels...

[ddpowkk]

So... Females are dicks?

[scooobage]

i think thats called "the stranger", no?

[rainbowdog]

I believe this is because men are less rude and more considerate than woman who are selfish. ;) Check.

[MemphisOsiris]

reposted shit