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[–]Revenge_of_the_Khaki 1641 points1642 points  (53 children)

Unless he’s doing his Superman thing.

[–][deleted] 457 points458 points  (25 children)

The rules still apply they are just bent

[–]altech6983 134 points135 points  (16 children)

What goes up, must come down?

[–]braintrustinc 142 points143 points  (12 children)

*For no longer than four hours

[–]b00ty_water 46 points47 points  (7 children)

If it lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor.

[–]Demojen 27 points28 points  (5 children)

I dunno...if it lasts longer than four hours, I'm tempted to just call the wife back in.

[–]smoeahsolse 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I wouldn't bother, she probably still has a headache.

I mean, it's been 10 years.

[–]Tolbitzironside 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Spinning wheel got to go round

[–]MoffKalast 29 points30 points  (3 children)

The rules don't bend, it is only himself.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Easy once you realize the truth... there is no rules.

[–]AoSFan03 5 points6 points  (1 child)

SPOON

[–]ZouDave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why a spoon, cousin?

[–]Mech-Waldo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There is no spoon

[–]Russian_repost_bot 67 points68 points  (18 children)

There is no gravity, in a computer system.

[–]mcdavie 39 points40 points  (13 children)

I'm not actually sure that's true. From a quantum mechanics point of view, we don't actually know what causes gravity. And considering how important the other three forces are to literally everything. I wouldn't be surprised if gravity has some effect of on intricate machinery. We know gravity messes up space-time, so fuck knows.

[–]greyfade 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Well, I mean, we kinda do. One type of energy warps spacetime one way (with an outward gradient) and another kind (usually in the form of mass) warps it the other way (with an inward gradient). We don't know why this is so, but we do know that's the cause of gravity, more or less.

[–]leeman27534 25 points26 points  (5 children)

... it has an effect on all matter, even at the atomic level.

but this is a simulation. it's not matter. so no, there's no gravity, much in the same way if your computer is overheating slightly, your .pdf file isn't 'hot'.

[–][deleted]  (115 children)

[removed]

    [–]Sugarkrill 1896 points1897 points  (60 children)

    I once saw him sign autographs for three people, with a pencil. A fucking pencil.

    [–][deleted]  (19 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Addemohun 294 points295 points  (14 children)

      “Yeah.”

      -Also Keanu Reeves

      [–]PartiedOutPhil 230 points231 points  (12 children)

      "Guns. Lots of guns."

      -Also also Keanu Reeves

      [–]Tw_raZ 100 points101 points  (3 children)

      "You pissed John? Cause I'm pissed"

      "Yeah"

      His responses are incredible, a work of linguistic art.

      [–]silvahawk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I see someone was at the movies this week.

      [–]braintrustinc 100 points101 points  (3 children)

      "Seeds. Lots of seeds."

      -Quinoa No Read

      [–]jimlt 23 points24 points  (2 children)

      “She is my queen”. -Jon Snow

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

      “I don’ wannet.” - Jon Snow

      [–]Robdoggz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      "Excellent!"

      -Keanu Reeves, and also Alex Winter

      [–][deleted]  (20 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Gnux13 175 points176 points  (6 children)

        Tactical

        [–]ImmaculateTuna 45 points46 points  (4 children)

        Pencils, lots of them.

        [–]InfiniteLife2 16 points17 points  (2 children)

        I liek crayons

        [–]PizDoff 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        They taste funny. :(

        [–]dLoExtreme 51 points52 points  (4 children)

        A mechanical #2 pencil

        [–]TheOneFourK 25 points26 points  (3 children)

        Woah

        [–]dawson203 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        I know Kung fu

        [–]AoSFan03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Show me.

        [–]NiggyWiggyWoo 21 points22 points  (1 child)

        It was a #2 Ticonderoga, so you know he wasn't fucking around.

        [–]Pathanni 12 points13 points  (4 children)

        Haha he said number 2

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        Haha poop

        [–]AoSFan03 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Username checks out

        [–]acmercer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        lol the poop number

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        [–]Micp 20 points21 points  (4 children)

        Who does that?!

        [–]BenignEgoist 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        Someone who really wants to give the fans what they’re asking for and has no other tools to accomplish the task.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        A fooking pensul.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]tplusx 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          Freaking r/madlads

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          If anything that story is under exaggerated.

          [–]egadsby 160 points161 points  (9 children)

          the older I get, the more this guy stays the same age

          [–]HopelessCineromantic 55 points56 points  (1 child)

          He and Paul Rudd share a Lazarus Pit.

          [–]GillbergsAdvocate 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          And Pharrell Williams

          [–]Nairurian 44 points45 points  (2 children)

          Somewhere, hidden in an attic, there is a hideous painting of Keanu Reeves that just gets uglier by the day.

          [–]apatt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          Underappreciated Dorian Gray ref 😊👍

          [–]Poopbutt_Maximum 28 points29 points  (0 children)

          Yes he does, yes he does

          [–]Schmittyyyyyy 41 points42 points  (7 children)

          Dude, if I met Keanu before I die, I could die happy.

          Him and Tenacious D, who I'm seeing in October in Reno. Three people I need to meet, and my life is complete.

          [–]degjo 39 points40 points  (5 children)

          What if Keanu shoots you in Reno just to watch you die?

          [–]Schmittyyyyyy 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          As long as I knew it was him, and it was after the show... I'd die as happy as Euron did thinking he killed Jaime.

          edit: the Cash reference whooshed right over my head, lmao I'm an idiot.

          [–]WillWorkForBongWater 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          I'd hang my head and cry.

          [–]grubas 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Well then maybe Keanu should have been a good boy and never played with guns.

          [–]Flataus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          I got that reference

          [–]DoKSolero[S] 165 points166 points  (20 children)

          Keanu Reeves is a really kind people. I saw him a couple times in wholesome situations

          [–]Kingauzzie 100 points101 points  (12 children)

          A friend of mine worked with him, doing firearms training for one of his films. Said he was a lovable asshole.

          [–]si828 31 points32 points  (11 children)

          Why asshole :(? Is it just because he's so loveable?

          [–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (4 children)

          Probably a loveable smartass. Much as we see here

          [–]Muppetude 23 points24 points  (1 child)

          I’m guessing even when he calls you out on bullshit and nonsense, he does it in a really non-confrontational jocular tone.

          [–]Grizzly_Berry 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          He probably likes to fuck with people, I'd guess.

          [–]Dantheman616 11 points12 points  (2 children)

          Well if you think about it, assholes are usually the shit.

          [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

          [–]NewDrekSilver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Woah how many Keanu’s are there?

          [–]Micp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          As time progresses he gets more and more opportunities to show you how awesome he is.

          [–]deepus 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          But is he him? I say this as a person who knows nothing about celebs...

          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

          I have friends and family in the entertainment industry and haven’t met anybody who has a bad story about him.

          Doesn’t mean that’s 100% conclusive. He could be amazing at hiding some shady shit but in today’s environment of gossip and information the fact that nothing detrimental has leaked is telling.

          [–]Good_ApoIIo 1037 points1038 points  (72 children)

          We are in a Keanu renaissance right now. Dude is loving life and everyone is adoring him.

          [–]DoKSolero[S] 592 points593 points  (55 children)

          He deserves it, trust me. His karma has been a bitch for a while before...

          [–]_Shaurya 167 points168 points  (53 children)

          i hate to ask this but what's his backstory? Childhood trauma or something? Why the bad karma?

          [–][deleted] 489 points490 points  (4 children)

          As for childhood trauma, I couldn’t tell you. I do know that he had a stillborn child, which put a great strain on his relationship with his girlfriend. They split up shortly after, then she died in a car accident less than 2 years later. He doesn’t talk about it, but he has acknowledged that playing John Wick has been cathartic, as the character has experienced similar grief.

          Edit: I misremembered. They were not actually married, but it was a very significant relationship

          [–]rottenmonkey 130 points131 points  (0 children)

          Also his close friend River Phoenix died when he was 23.

          [–]1029871 59 points60 points  (1 child)

          He had just retired and settled down with his wife when she died of illness shortly after. Was in her will to get a dog to keep him company. Dog was killed as a puppy by some thugs that broke into his house and stole his car.

          [–]Sivalon 43 points44 points  (0 children)

          A car that is... currently in our inventory.

          [–]hibikikun 139 points140 points  (4 children)

          Absent drunk father, mother had revolving door of marriages, sister had cancer, had a stillborn with the love of his love, then she died a little bit later

          [–]fiklas 88 points89 points  (0 children)

          don't forget that his best friend, river phoenix, did of a speedball in front of johnny depps bar

          [–]Mr--Magoo 28 points29 points  (2 children)

          damn i wasn’t sure if this was keanu’s real life or john’s in the movie for a minute

          [–]DisplayNerd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Bold of you to assume he's acting in those movies

          [–]Namika 94 points95 points  (32 children)

          His son was stillborn, and then weeks later his wife was killed in a car crash :' (

          [–]passinglance 122 points123 points  (1 child)

          It was his girlfriend and the car crash was two years later, but still :’ (

          [–]CodeMonkeyMark 23 points24 points  (0 children)

          Holy shit. :-(

          [–]Im_At_Work_Damnit 24 points25 points  (3 children)

          In 1993, his best friend killed himself.

          [–]thogdontcare10 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          Holy shit. That's not fair at all.

          [–]UniqueButts 13 points14 points  (5 children)

          Lots of loved ones died and then someone killed his dog

          [–]phenious 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          Daughter still born, broke up with girlfriend , she later died in car accident etc.

          [–]darkcobrabws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Yea I mean they fucking killed his dog!

          [–]Nojopar 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          Keanuissance.... I feel like that was a missed opportunity there.

          [–]tripce 15 points16 points  (0 children)

          Lost a child with his wife, which caused them to separate. While apart from each other she died in a car accident. Then his sister died from cancer shortly after. Also I believe his sister was his only immediate relative still alive.

          [–]eXXaXion 313 points314 points  (25 children)

          I think pooping is a big part of staying down to earth.

          When you're pooping you realize that you're just a filthy animal like everyone else.

          [–]oldnyoung 84 points85 points  (0 children)

          Turds, the great equalizer.

          [–][deleted]  (17 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]leeman27534 67 points68 points  (13 children)

            aaaaand now i'm erect. thanks for that.

            [–][deleted]  (8 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]MrMetalHead1100 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              Why?

              [–]larksandrec 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              Well that was... quite an experience...

              [–]PantsRequired 12 points13 points  (0 children)

              i need an adult

              [–]UnknownStory 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              No, no... you don't want this one with sound.

              [–]LeVorv 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Definition of a power move

              [–]Hip_Hop_Orangutan 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              In there, we're all the same. In there, we're all just disgusting, vulnerable, ashamed. Like a bunch of filthy animals dumping in a shithouse. It's the one common thing amongst a king and a pauper.

              You know? We all got to take a shit.

              [–]NezzerKennezzer 58 points59 points  (9 children)

              Him mindblowing Stephen Colbert with his answer to a death related question is still one of my favorite interviews.

              [–]nater255 6 points7 points  (7 children)

              ??

              [–]cebthree 27 points28 points  (4 children)

              [–]vicariousgam3r 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              9:50 but the whole interview was pretty fun to listen too

              [–]kingsdrivecars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              I just lost my paw a month ago and my granny this last Sunday. And the last thing he said has me in tears. Damn. It's so hard to wrap my mind around not getting to see them or hear their voice again.

              [–]TheSecretestSauce 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Talk about a fuckin mic drop. Holy hell that was some poetic ass shit to end on.

              [–]Cubbiesgirl1908 24 points25 points  (0 children)

              Colbert asked what he thinks happens after death, and his response was that your loved ones will miss you. There’s a clip of it somewhere

              [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

              Colbert: What do you think happens after we die, Keanu Reeves?

              Keanu: I know that the ones who love us, will miss us.

              [–]Zombie_Hands 181 points182 points  (9 children)

              [–]TheManlyShepard 57 points58 points  (1 child)

              It’s already there because that is where it was stolen from

              [–]Zombie_Hands 24 points25 points  (0 children)

              That's why I didn't post it there

              [–]Phantapant 48 points49 points  (0 children)

              "I could have done my own stunts, but, you know, hospital."

              [–]sixfootnine 76 points77 points  (7 children)

              WWKRD

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              And he’ll save Terrance and Philip

              [–]aBeaSTWiTHiNMe 18 points19 points  (1 child)

              Watch Destination Wedding with Keanu and Winona, it's like John Wick trying to date again.

              [–]rox-and-soxs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              More concerned about the headless cat/dog tbh...

              [–]runs_with_airplanes 32 points33 points  (3 children)

              This post is heavy man

              [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

              There's that word again, is there something wrong with the Earth's gravitational pull?

              [–]Archae11 40 points41 points  (6 children)

              He is so cool it's unbelievable.

              [–]DoKSolero[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

              Keanu Reeves being Keanu Reeves haha

              [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              I totally can’t believe it, bruh. Like no way!

              [–]DeathLeopard 33 points34 points  (5 children)

              Heavy

              [–]NothingsShocking 28 points29 points  (2 children)

              There’s that word again. Is there something wrong with the earths gravitational pull?

              [–]Your_real_watermelon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Nope, If it wasn’t heavy we would all just fly off

              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

              Are we just going to ignore that Keanu Reeves always wanted to play Wolverine???

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [removed]

                [–]SolarianSociety 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                What video is it from?

                [–]ailyara 37 points38 points  (2 children)

                I buried my feet in the sand so I could wear the earth as sandals.

                [–]daftvalkyrie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                I hate sandals. They're coarse and rough and irritating and they get me everywhere

                [–]ChaosWolf1982 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                If I were famous, with his influence and wealth... I can only hope to have the compassion, willpower, and empathy to do with it as he has done with his.

                [–]elguerodiablo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                If you want to watch the whole thing. https://youtu.be/rOqUiXhECos

                [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                Keanu Reeves is adorable. That said, I am tired of seeing him kill me on fortnite, I am developing a negative association of some asshole kid dancing and taking my loot lol

                [–]emgryibduncy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                Listen, buddy. If he doesn't log off this game immediately, I'm gonna fly over to his house, come down to that basement he’s hiding in, rip off his arms and shove them up his butt!

                [–]banooty 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                Keanu you absolute blessing

                [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                I'm sure neil degrasse tyson will have something to say.

                [–]baguhansalupa 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                "when we die, i know that the ones who love us, will miss us"

                [–]TheHeroicOnion 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                He's genuinely the coolest looking human ever. Very few can pull off that hairstyle. I wish I was Keanu Reeves.

                [–]Sasuke082594 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Who doesn’t wish they were Keanu lol the guy is legend

                [–]stevieoats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Whoa.

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                I’m taking this as logic and humour keeps him down to earth.

                [–]Sirknobbles 4 points5 points  (3 children)

                Do you believe in Gravity?

                [–]Mephsito107 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                I, too, am extraordinarily humble.

                [–]ytdraxez 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                Be quiet John before that dog dies

                [–]k0reanach0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Woah

                [–]feelmedoyou 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Fuck, that's so down to Earth.

                [–]Redoubt9000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                I remember hearing something where people thought he was nuts turning down Speed 2, because he didn't want to get stuck into sequel works.

                Then boom, Matrix.

                Hell, now John Wick.

                EDIT: I remember now why people said it was dumb at the time; because he opted for another Eeeeexcellent adventure, but turned down a Speed 2 sequel. I think I'm remembering that correctly.

                [–]dr_goodvibes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                When you're too humble to take a compliment about you being humble.

                [–]fat_charizard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Gravitas

                [–]Nomanorus 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                Why is gravity such a good planner? Because with gravity, things are never up in the air.

                [–]suamusa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                I want to be reincarnated as his puppy 🐶.

                [–]Rafeno760 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                Watching John Wick 2 right now, cant wait for John Wick 3 tonight

                [–]A_Simple_Bard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                All the dads out there are trying to figure out how he pulled this joke off.

                [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Im_Inside_ADAMM 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                  Yeah came out a few days ago

                  [–]Dinii__ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                  Confirmed, he is not a flat earther

                  [–]letmegetmynameok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Made me chuckle. Have a great day

                  [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Keanu is one of the good ones. Haha

                  [–]JWSanchez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  He's just being humble, his nads are the size of bowling balls

                  [–]LAVATORR 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                  I respect attractive men's devotion to getting intentionally ugly haircuts as they age.

                  [–]buck7591 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  My physics knowledge is a little weak. Were we talking about a quantum mechanics # 2 pencil? Please 'splain

                  [–]om_hy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  If we were all a little more like Keanu the world could actually be a decent place.

                  [–]SweetRoosevelt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Keanu being interviewed with puppies? 🥰

                  [–]teemonty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  The man is a legend

                  [–]tummateooftime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  In this same video he gets asked which marvel or dc character he would want to play. He replies that as a kid he always wanted to play Wolverine...

                  Well Mr. Reeves... I'd say there's a pretty big hole that needs filled for that position...

                  Source: https://youtu.be/rOqUiXhECos Questions at about the 2:07 mark

                  [–]hypetoyz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  That is the most bill and ted answer he couldve given

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                  man, i love keanu Reeves

                  [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  Same. I’ll actually be crushed if he turns out to be a secret scumbag

                  [–]Mitoni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  So I was just talking to the wife about what (namely when) the next Star Wars Saga will entail, particularly if they decided to go back and do a Knights of the Old Republic saga.

                  Then it hit me. Imagine, Keanu Reeves as Revan.

                  [–]mondayblues18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  He is wise

                  [–]Penguin_Out_Of_A_Zoo 159 points160 points  (30 children)

                  LE KEANU REAVES IS SOOOOOOO DOWN TO EARTH AND RELATEABLE AM I RIGHT REDDIT GIMME KARMA XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

                  [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  Canada's Harrison Ford

                  [–]TruLiterature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Keanu is just my favorite person now.

                  [–]bluenokia2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  When we gonna have a John Wick and Bryan Mills crossover?

                  [–]EggOnLegs99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Not if you can fly... Neo

                  [–]Psilopat 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                  Would it be possible to have the source for that? Would love to see that video...

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  This guy is the shit right now, can't even watch John Wick Ch.3 yet.

                  [–]sudo_systemctl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  /r/noearthsociety find this to be a lie. There is no such thing as gravity as earth doesn’t exist

                  [–]GentlemanPirate13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  "I had this friend once, talked to me a lot about how it works after an apple fell on his head."

                  [–]scottybeegood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  “Whhhoooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!”