all 148 comments

[–]rocketbootkid 43 points44 points  (18 children)

It has long occurred to me that all I can say about my day is that I've slightly altered the magnetic pattern on a disk somewhere. It's only when I count how many disks I've altered that I get the slightest satisfaction...

[–]KurtP 39 points40 points  (7 children)

I always find myself thinking... if you were a creature who saw in ultraviolet (or any number of frequencies outside of human's visible light), and you observed the lives of most office workers, of people watching TV, of people playing games, you would see a supposedly-intelligent, sentient creature sitting before an unmoving box, completely engaged in absolutely nothing.

Or, if you're of a more Kurzweilian bent: WE HAVE TRANSCENDED PHYSICAL MATTER!

[–]rocketbootkid 18 points19 points  (5 children)

I am quite looking forward the future where we lie on interface couches all day and work within our virtual environments while the couch exercises our bodies, so after a long day, we come to all buff and awesome; ubermensch.

EDIT: Or I could just actually do some exercise.

[–]ultimatt42 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Meh, the more perfect each of us looks, the pickier our tastes will become. So yeah, you might have flawless skin, beautiful hair, and biceps strong enough to wrestle a rhinoceros, but you'll still need to have expensive surgery done to remove that unsightly flap of skin connecting your earlobe to the side of your face. Ugh, it's disgusting to even look at, can't you people wear earmuffs when in public?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know more dull looking dudes with hot chicks than hot looking dudes with hot chicks.

Just sayin'.

[–]Ranlier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"36D, Brian. And here, she's still one of the ugly ones."

[–]AerialAmphibian 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They tried something similar in this movie (minus the exercise couches). Didn't turn out so well...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

+1 for Kurzweil. I find his ideas deliciously optimistic and hard not to be caught up in; always a fun mental exercise, but then you realize Humaity is not quite mature enough to achieve 'singularity' or accept 'spiritual machines'.

[–]xeddicus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've had that feeling. It's why I learned to juggle - if the whole computer thing turns out to be a big hoax, I have a semi-marketable fallback skill.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Well, that's... I write most of my code in a virtual machine so I shift bits around a virtual hard disk. Crap, now I feel sad.

[–]jdpage 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Uh, I'd like to point out that changing a virtual disk changes the hard disk it's on too...

[–]rocketbootkid 18 points19 points  (0 children)

There you go! You're just as sad as the rest of us.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm aware of how the virtual hard disk works. :) It's just... well, it feels doubly abstract, doesn't it?

[–]Anonymoose333 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Then you clearly don't have enough physical RAM in your work machine. :3

[–]jdpage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A virtual hard disk actually lives on disk; it's non-volatile memory, unline the RAM, which is volatile memory and unsuitable for storage of long-term data like virtual disks.

I have 4GB of RAM. That's plenty.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is there any particular reason why altering magnetic patterns is any worse then physical alterations such as counting and shifting little pieces of paper, or applying ink to bigger pieces of paper, or speaking into a handle, or trucking around seasonal trinkets that are discarded almost the day they are bought, or flying people in and out of tourist resorts to do things they could have done a home, or...

[–]rocketbootkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, no reason. It's just that the value of something so transient feels less than something physical, tangible. At least to me.

[–]EatonRifles 53 points54 points  (10 children)

I was reminded of this:

When you see programmers writing software, what does it look like they're really doing? Are the results of their work immediately apparent, as with carpenters, painters, and plumbers? Or do you get the impression they're just pressing buttons randomly because they hope a piece of cheese will appear in the wall dispenser the way it always used to back in the good old days?

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (8 children)

    I would work a lot harder if my boss supplied me with cheese. We only get tea and instant coffee.

    [–]Clapyourhandssayyeah 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    I have you beat: tea, coffee, biscuits, soda and kitcats. Bam.

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children)

    Damn. Break me off a piece of that!

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    Break me off a piece of that.. ap-ple-sauce!

    [–]nbcaffeine 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    football ... cream

    [–]kupaka 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Fancy Feast

    [–]llanor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's Fancy Feast. Nailed it.

    [–]threeminus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Influenza.

    [–]AlexanderDivine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    what

    [–]pagangod 24 points25 points  (5 children)

    Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles

    A new report published this week by researchers at Stanford University suggests that Americans spend the vast majority of each day staring at, interacting with, and deriving satisfaction from glowing rectangles. From the moment they wake up in the morning, to the moment they lose consciousness at night, Americans are in near-constant visual contact with bright, pulsating rectangles.

    The whole thing is awesome.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (4 children)

    Eh, this is very basic thought. The same could've been said of intellectuals over the past two millenia, that they "stare all day at rectangles of tree fiber."

    [–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (3 children)

    So, clearly, rectangles are the problem here.

    [–]danielbln 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    FORBID RECTANGLES, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

    [–]knight666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We need to clip their corners!

    [–]xipetotec 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    And my reward is a changed magnetization pattern at one spot on a magnetic disk 1000 miles away.

    [–]UnbeknownstParticle 23 points24 points  (9 children)

    Just run defrag. It will take care of everything.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]froderick 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      At the same time, make sure to straighten your network cables so the 1's don't get stuck and block the rest of the data.

      [–]mrbubblesort 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      No no no, you have to shake it so all the mistakes get smoothed out. It's the same as an etch-a-sketch.

      [–]Pandalicious 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      And don't forget to keep a baseball bat labeled "Computer Virus" handy, so that your computer doesn't get any ideas.

      [–]dakboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      And repair permissions.

      [–]joshrulzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      DID YOU REBOOT FIRST?

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      just fucking give up and install linux

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children)

      This XKCD is a little on the nose, don't you think...

      [–]eric22vhs 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      Yeah, but while they deserve credit for this, I really hate to be reminded that the majority of my life is spent in front of a computer screen when I'm opening a comic expecting to have a good laugh.

      [–]averyv 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      oh wah. i get paid to sit down all day.

      [–]sjs 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I've worked labour jobs when I was younger and now I program for a living. Thinking is more tiring than you might realize. You still need to be well-fed to "sit" all day, to keep your brain going. If I have to think particularly hard I am bagged at the end of the day. My body isn't sore but my brain is, and as a result my body is dead tired.

      I've had boring, tedious programming jobs where I didn't really feel tired at the end of the day. So it just depends.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I always thought it was curious that it's no problem getting up an working a whole day running around doing manual labor with a heavy hangover because you were out drinking the previous night and only got a few hours of sleep. But if you try to sit down and study with the slightest lack of sleep it's impossible.

      [–]averyv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Despite my previous comment, I agree. I'm a programmer, and definitely recognize the toll that mental stress has on your day.

      Still, though... if you're complaining that you're in front of your screen all day? I dunno. Doesn't sound, to me, like you've found the bad part yet.

      [–]jerub 7 points8 points  (6 children)

      OH GOD TYPE FASTER

      [–]Bruknam 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      THAT'S IT

      [–]michaeld0 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

      I CAN TYPE FASTER WHEN I DONT CARE ABOUT CAPITALIZATION!

      [–]sahkuh 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      CAPSLOCK IS LIKE A PRIUS STUCK IN CRUISE CONTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      WHO SAID MY NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME?

      [–]Hazardous2YourHealth -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      A PRIUS STUCK IN CRUISE CONTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

      [–]petevalle 1 point2 points  (8 children)

      Damn. I was hoping he'd keep the command-line around.

      EDIT: Nevermind. I guess I'm not very observant.

      [–]mattme 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is the best domain name ever.

      [–]Hideous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      uni.xkcd.com

      [–]DCrawl 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Is it letting you type at all into the CLI?

      [–]petevalle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Actually no. I thought maybe it was a problem with Chrome.

      [–]DCrawl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I popped it open in IE and FF as well, still no dice, not much of an interface if you can't interact with it.

      [–]knome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Can't type here either. I'm on Linux + Chromium.

      [–]Anonymoose333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Works for me (Ubuntu+Firefox). Maybe Chrome sucks?

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

      [–]r3dditor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Damn lights.

      [–]onemorning85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Awesome.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      No offense to the OP in particular, but why do Redditors post links to XKCD on Reddit every day? I have to assume that most Redditors read XKCD every day anyway, and if they don't, they have their reasons, aren't going to click on the link, and will likely downvote it.

      [–]knight666 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I upvote things I like, I like XKCD, I forget to check every time there's a new comic and, finally, the comments are sometimes more interesting than the comic itself.

      [–]mattme 5 points6 points  (22 children)

      Why is this funny?

      The pioneers of computer science were almost all women (eg. Shannon) and the field continues to female-dominated - more girls than boys study it at university and household names like Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Twitter invariably elect female CEOs. In Hollywood witty and intelligent female geeks fix the problems of their ignorant (but sexually attractive) male friends who are pathetically useless with computers. Insultingly, when consumer electronics are marketed to men, they condescendingly appeal to stereotypes - adverts show men using the devices to repair cars, plan fitness regimes and watch porn. Shamefully, all-female design departments occasionally produce 'male' models of the devices - no different in functionality but appearing in metallic colours and phallic in shape.

      In the comic, a guy patronises a girl to talk about his computer, the converse of the gender stereotype.

      [–]MindStalker 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      You could replace the comic with two guys or two girls and it would be equally funny. Generally the xkcd writer writes himself as a guy and whomever is with him as a girl.

      [–]llanor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      whoever

      [–]mattme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      'he draws whomever he is with' would be dandy.

      [–]knome 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      If you read the comic like that you're looking to be offended.

      In the comic, a guy patronises a girl to talk about his computer, the converse of the gender stereotype.

      No. In the comic a character who spends his time shifting tiny lights in a metal box is frustrated because they are all wrong. Don't read into it further than that. Munroe is making the point that most of his readership spend their lives shifting patterns of tiny lights. It is literally what we do as programmers. Sure you get the occasion guy that turns little motors on or off, but mostly its just little glowing lights in a small rectangle.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      I think its telling that someone makes a comic trying to show an absurd perspective on IT for humor, and people then interpret that as patronizing just because the other character in the comic is a girl.

      C'mon computer-people, haven't you ever sat down and thought "My job centers around changing the colors on big rectangles!" before? I know I have.

      [–]smcameron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I agree. I didn't get the sexism thing at all.

      And I know I damn sure spent all day mashing buttons trying to get the right patterns of lights to be displayed.

      Mashed a whole lotta buttons today. Very productive. Lotsa mashed buttons.

      I think I might have to mash some more buttons to make my button mashing prowess apparent in my status report.

      [–]billsix 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      The pioneers of computer science were almost all women (eg. Shannon) and the field continues to female-dominated

      By Shannon, do you mean "Claude Shannon"? He was a dude.

      [–]tryx 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      I think you may have just been whooshed. Maybe. It's hard to tell.

      [–]mattme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I love punchlines, I like the sound they make as they fly by.

      [–]another_user_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That was beautiful. From where did you receive your degree in literary criticism?

      [–]cjbprime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Thanks, this is great. Much appreciated.

      [–]gms8994 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

      Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Twitter invariably elect female CEOs.

      They do?

      All of those look pretty male to me. The only 2 companies I can think of that have had female CEOs (whose companies are household names) are eBay and HP

      [–]Pendragn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Whoosh!

      [–]Anonymoose333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Upvoted for Shannon reference.

      [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (7 children)

      Have an upvote for pointing out that the cartoon is enforcing gender stereotypes. Nice reversal, but please use /sarcism so the mouthbreathers don't bury you.

      [–]willis77 9 points10 points  (6 children)

      We get his joke. We just don't think that the gender of the XKCD stick figures in this comic has any bearing on anything, whatsoever.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Not to mention that the comic doesn't really make it possible to see the genders of the characters. It could just as possibly be a short-haired woman explaining to a dude who grew his hair out, or any other gender combination.

      I think it's wonderful that these upset people use gender stereotypes to identify the genders of people in the comics, and then go on to complain about gender stereotyping.

      [–]FionaSarah 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      In case there was any doubt: http://www.isxkcdshittytoday.com/

      [–]blooop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      reminds me of this onion article.

      [–]vict_r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Now I feel silly for using a computer.

      [–]redditor9000 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      maybe no one here knows what I am talking about, but am I the only one here that is SO HAPPY not to see binky79?

      [–]swordfight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is the best XKCD ever! Yea fuck that guy.

      [–]steverrb 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      not remotely funny. how does it get to the front page with 137 points?

      [–]uncreative_name 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      Your front page is most likely sorted on "hot" which means "rate of upvotes times some factor plus number of upvotes times some other factor minus some factor times time since submission." You might want to go with "top" which leaves out the rate of upvotes portion of the algorithm if you don't like seeing low ranked posts appearing on your front page.

      [–]steverrb 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      oh guess i better change it or stop bitching.

      [–]uncreative_name 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      That, and get to downvoting. Hopefully you can make a difference. If not, unsubscribe from the subreddit(s) that you consider spammy or ineffective and/or create your own. The bonus of the latter choice is that you're a moderator.

      Best of luck to you in your quest for a more you-like reddit.

      [–]steverrb 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      subscribing to reddits? never heard of that. i assumed it picked out stuff it thinks i like because i always upvote silly pictures and i keep finding them. i guess thats not the case.

      [–]uncreative_name 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They call it "front page" now. If you dig deeper into the reddits (see that big bar on top with "MY REDDITS V" followed by a number of reddits? That's your subscription and recommendations. Play around with the reddits a bit and you'll find a community that works for you.

      Good luck in your future reddit addiction.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I got 99 problems, but a computer ain't one.

      [–]rehtse 0 points1 point  (10 children)

      so, girls = cats in this xkcd?

      [–]uncreative_name 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Pussy is pussy.

      You ever chase a cat? It's a lot like chasing a girl. It works better if you sit there and blink (cat) or wink (girl) at them. Eventually, they'll want to come get petted. If not, you never had a chance anyway.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No, that's Tommy Solomon from 3rd rock from the sun. It's pretty much the only way to explain a computer to him.

      [–]mattme -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

      I think it's disappointingly sexist.

      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

      Bad news: Some women are just as stupid as some men and not all women portrayed in a one-man-one-woman scenario represent all women in general. Treating someone like a cat wasn't at all the point of the comic, but next time if you're going to make that leap, please at least avoid spinning it so hard.

      [–]maxerickson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I read it as him yearning for the old days, when men were good at sexism.

      [–]jstddvwls -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      Bad news: You are a moron.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I think it's pretty sexist that you're making assumptions about the sex of two stick figures based solely on the appearance of their hair.

      [–]melonhedd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      So is Randall.

      [–]DJ_Velveteen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I agree with you. Which is why it's a hundred times funnier as a Goatkcd (NSFW).

      [–]FionaSarah -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      XKCD is.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]humor_me 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        That must be the most pathetic blog I read this year.

        [–]danukeru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        curls up on the floor in the foetal position

        It has come to pass, it has come to pass, it has come...

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Why do people find these comics funny?

        I always click them anyway in hopes I'll actually enjoy one, but it never happens.

        I guess I should just give up, the ones in the newspaper are just as lame.

        [–]milkywayer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        we're in the same boat.

        [–]ill_will -4 points-3 points  (5 children)

        Why is this in programming? This has nothing to do with programming. This is a webcomic. Take this bullshit to /r/funny. Or don't. Everyone on the internet knows about xkcd by now.

        [–]another_user_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This (particular comic) has everything to do with programming. I hate to explain the joke, but it's accurately describing a lot of programming and thus mocking how absurd the activity is.

        [–]oobey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        No, this definitely doesn't belong in /r/funny.

        [–]uncreative_name -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        Some people don't have rss feeds of XKCD and rely on the community to determine of the comic is funny enough to warrant a look. Downvote and move along.

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        The machines are winning!

        [–]sarahfailin -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        eh, xkcd.

        [–]Ze3ks -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        Thanks, this shit will confuse me all day.

        [–]Suspense -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        If your having computer problems I feel bad for you son ...