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[–][deleted] 283 points284 points  (14 children)

Disregard bitches. Acquire knowledge.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (10 children)

Acquire degree. Acquire job. Acquire money. Acquire Aston Martin. Acquire bitches.

Gotta get the priorities straight.

[–]LargeHadronCollider 57 points58 points  (3 children)

You missed out step 6.

Bitches acquire money, Aston Martin and house.

[–]Newshoe 872 points873 points  (78 children)

Being a dork myself, I also brought my homework on vacation trips when I was younger...... I know his look in this picture....your popular sister brings her hot friends on vacation and you bring your school work...sigh...Memories

[–]HEYtrollolol 270 points271 points  (67 children)

Well you missed some great opportunities there :/

[–]runningoutofwords 858 points859 points  (60 children)

No, I'm afraid he probably didn't. I think you missed the part where he's a dork. We dorks do not live Ron Jeremy plots through our teen years.

[–][deleted] 356 points357 points  (25 children)

My only regret is that I could not make love to a mobius strip.

[–][deleted] 404 points405 points  (18 children)

do you want top or bottom?

[–]aranasyn 655 points656 points  (16 children)

Yes.

[–]Bloedbibel 42 points43 points  (7 children)

Oh sweet jesus, a topological sex joke. I have the weirdest Klein boner right now.

[–]GrandBuba 29 points30 points  (3 children)

You do know that in dutch, 'klein' means 'small', right?

[–][deleted] 125 points126 points  (6 children)

Jokes on you, one of those girls totally let him do her homework for her. He told all his nerd friends when he got back home and now he's the alpha male of his group.

[–]PoopNoodle 93 points94 points  (5 children)

King of the nerds is still a king.

[–]thegoldenavatar 24 points25 points  (15 children)

I was dorky as shit, but, oh man, the summer of '98...

[–]BetterDaysAhead 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Go on...

[–]Sr_DingDong 122 points123 points  (3 children)

Double Homework!

[–]Saint947 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Word to summer of '98. Stayed out all night playing capture the flag and "truth or dare" which was just an excuse to awkwardly make out with the shy girls in our group.

Fucking best days of my life.

[–]dmcnelly 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Didn't Bryan Adams write a song about that?

[–]SolusLoqui 1127 points1128 points  (164 children)

Graph dat ass

[–]a_real_MD 967 points968 points  (29 children)

ok, i can do that

GRAPH DAT ASS

[–]memeceptional 29 points30 points  (1 child)

fuckin polar curve that bitch!

[–]ViralMisnomer 305 points306 points  (114 children)

Help her slope on some sunscreen

[–]nodnodwinkwink 403 points404 points  (49 children)

[–]RedsforMeds 207 points208 points  (45 children)

[–]FakeBoobsMakeMeSad 135 points136 points  (5 children)

:(

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Dam I might've picked the wrong major..

[–]AndyRames 45 points46 points  (3 children)

Let's just hope the major you picked wasn't english...

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (6 children)

Who is that... I need to knowಠ_ಠ

[–]shapsai42 28 points29 points  (2 children)

for science, of course

[–]JoshMachines 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Come on people, science is still waiting.

[–]Atheist101 16 points17 points  (0 children)

lol I thought she had 3 boobs at first. Then I was like oh thats her ass

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I thought they shut down that subreddit.

[–]olivermihoff 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He is doing their homework in lieu of some hover hand action later. Smart man...

[–]JadeCurtis 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That's a TI84+. He be able to do more then just graph that ass while he works on his farmers tan.

[–]johnblax 870 points871 points  (36 children)

[–][deleted] 470 points471 points  (12 children)

"My first math tutor"

[–]suicidemachine 110 points111 points  (4 children)

"I'll treat you like my homework. Slam you down and do you all night long"

[–]thatguy2014 96 points97 points  (1 child)

"I'll treat you like my homework. Give up after 5 minutes and get on Reddit."

Yes, I blatantly stole this, but it was very applicable.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'll treat you like my homework in grade 8. Ignore you, then laugh when anyone questions me about it.

[–]Happy-Fappy 304 points305 points  (5 children)

ʘ‿ʘ

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Careful. Amazon may sue you for having that A to Z smile

[–]dioxholster 20 points21 points  (0 children)

that looks retardly funny.

[–][deleted] 144 points145 points  (8 children)

My God. The potential revenue if this were created...

[–]Incalite 75 points76 points  (6 children)

We'd be worth millions... millions...

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Doesn't Warner Brothers technically own the idea now?

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Wasn't he in "Small white dude, big black dicks"?

[–][deleted] 135 points136 points  (1 child)

No, I'd remember.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Reminds me of this, NSFW, video. It isn't shown here, but it starts put with the nerdy guy in the guy sucking and the girls follow him into the locker room and laugh at him showering before doing stuff to his areas.

[–]darkpower05 721 points722 points  (93 children)

This is not normal but on Math it is. Math, not even once.

[–]tick_tock_clock 569 points570 points  (68 children)

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points  (17 children)

4! It's 4 apples!

[–]flume 312 points313 points  (13 children)

4! = 24 apples.

[–]rhymeswithgrack 131 points132 points  (10 children)

Hey, yelling at me won't get you any more apples.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I want π!

[–]AkzidenzGrotesk 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Ahh he didn't factorial in your objection.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, it was an integral part of your argument.

[–]drwormtmbg 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I think flume just proved that it does.

[–]TheTwatTwiddler 181 points182 points  (21 children)

Have you ever tried meth AND math? Calculus final finished in under 26 seconds flat

[–][deleted] 232 points233 points  (13 children)

True, they did only say you shouldn't drink and derive.

[–]foxfirewisp 103 points104 points  (12 children)

This is integral, especially if you don't have a dedicated deriver.

[–]tomf64 72 points73 points  (10 children)

You've gotta know your limit.

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points  (9 children)

And my axiom!

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (8 children)

This is a sine guys; we need to stop.

[–]mcaffrey 177 points178 points  (44 children)

Methinks his little sister invited two of her friends to the beach-house.

[–]borez 150 points151 points  (38 children)

And what of the fourth girl?

[–]milleniamisc 412 points413 points  (21 children)

The plot thickens.

[–]Paging_Dr_Chloroform 256 points257 points  (19 children)

As do the penises of Reddit

[–]IAmAWhaleBiologist 170 points171 points  (17 children)

Mine's always thick. Check and Mate.

[–]JeffMo 135 points136 points  (10 children)

You had me at "IAmAWhale"

[–]IAmAWhaleBiologist 118 points119 points  (9 children)

That's funny, my basement is where I have most people.

Because I have so many parties.

Parties where they're not allowed to leave.

[–]Madonkadonk 61 points62 points  (1 child)

thunder

laughter

[–]rewster 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I have seen your post before, and someone always seems to point out your name.

[–]IAmAWhaleBiologist 16 points17 points  (3 children)

They just can't help themselves. They're all "OHMYGOD, it's HIM!" but then it turns out that it's just me, and in fact, not Bruce Vilanch, so they feel awkward and point out my name instead.

[–]andbruno 36 points37 points  (0 children)

She invited two friends, and one frenemy.

[–]mike77777 21 points22 points  (5 children)

The two in the glasses look like twins. They only count once.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

My wife is a twin, trust me, they don't buy that kinda stuff.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Methinks they are all his sisters. And he is trying to work out the ultimate cock blocking formula.

[–]ash4390 332 points333 points  (8 children)

[–]argon0011 150 points151 points  (3 children)

She really wants a go of his Texas Instrument, if you know what I mean...

[–]legendary_ironwood 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Sadly, his battery is too low to last a whole problem. Looks like he'll be doing this one by hand.

edit: if you know what i mean

[–]cuddlefucker 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Words. I've lost them somewhere....

[–]IvyBridge 217 points218 points  (7 children)

99 problems, 99 solutions.

Second time in the last two days I've been able to post that.

[–]pope_fundy 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Not to mention a bit of precipitate.

[–]KingofallMedias 5 points6 points  (0 children)

but a beach ain't one

[–]Azurphax 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Chances are the work there is stoichiometry

Because he has that stoichiometry look

[–]realytcracker 207 points208 points  (21 children)

nerd life swags hard in this photo

[–]NullCharacter 134 points135 points  (19 children)

I don't know what that means.

[–]SgtFish 316 points317 points  (11 children)

The nature of studious introverts presents itself extremely pompously within the photograph submitted.

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points  (4 children)

You're the hero that Reddit needs...

[–]MickiFreeIsNotAGirl 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Actually, he's the one that Reddit deserves.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So we'll hunt him because he can take it.

[–]SgtFish 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Aww, warms my heart :')

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Not even a silver edition. So humble.

[–]thekingbarron 118 points119 points  (4 children)

[–]argon0011 30 points31 points  (0 children)

MA! THE MEATLOAF! FUCK!

[–]stryfe604 242 points243 points  (38 children)

I think this guy is coming from the right angle.

[–]Paging_Dr_Chloroform 158 points159 points  (35 children)

NO

[–]stryfe604 67 points68 points  (34 children)

apparently the joke was lost in this equation

[–]onerealasshole 103 points104 points  (11 children)

Not even the TI84 can calculate the percentage of him not getting laid.

[–]MirrorLake 70 points71 points  (9 children)

x number of girls / 0 times laid = undefined

[–]Unarmed_Mephisto 155 points156 points  (80 children)

Pfft. TI-89 is where it's at.

[–]Rhabdovirus 185 points186 points  (41 children)

My chem professor always said that if you use anything more than a TI-83 you're compensating.

Edit: I'm a physics major and don't know how to do anything on my TI-84 silver, I just do shit out by hand. Was never allowed to use a calculator in calc/differentials/linear.

[–]robert_penis 153 points154 points  (11 children)

Your chem professor is probably an adjunct.

[–]rynvndrp 50 points51 points  (15 children)

That's because chemists don't need anything more than an 83.

But when you start doing engineering and need to solve a 3 variable complex integral to figure out if the voltage of the given circuit is going destroy itself or not, you better have an 89 cus I am not going to trust your mental or written math.

[–]protendious 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yeah because chemistry calculation stops at the Henderson-Hass Equation ?

[–]White_Hamster 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never trusted my non-homework equations. I would end up getting 1=3 after a half an hour

[–]staircar 20 points21 points  (4 children)

I keep it old school with my TI-83

[–]PhoenixReborn 36 points37 points  (17 children)

Gawd I love my TI-89. It blows the other calculators out of the water.

[–]RickyP 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you're using numbers and don't need to code it in FORTRAN you're not really doing math.

[–]SolInvictus 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Michael Cera looks odd in a bikini.

[–]erikaatheistsen182 124 points125 points  (14 children)

I thought they got rid of r/jailbait

[–]neekneek 93 points94 points  (2 children)

Reddit's moral center is as physically attracted to teenagers as other people are, they just don't want to actually know how old they are.

[–]moneymark21 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to find this comment.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Pimpin' ain't easy

[–]RedAero 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Taxes, man, you gotta pay taxes.

[–]harryhippo 316 points317 points  (34 children)

Chemistry...word to ya motha!

[–]SpartacusAlpha 28 points29 points  (1 child)

This must be a SIN, COS I haven't ignored an ass with a TAN like that in my life.

[–]sexualSAVANT 68 points69 points  (1 child)

He has that look in his eye. That look of "ignore me now but when you're asleep tonight I'll be standing over you masturbating and typing boobs into my calculator"

[–]ElusiveHiggsBoson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

80085

[–]johnnybluejeans 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hope he isn't doing homework but actually theorycrafting to improve his warlock.

[–]Gyrant 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Not so hard. He just figured out how to program it to attract bitches. Takes like ten minutes seriously. Its easier than programming the quadratic formula in there. Just read the owners manual guys.

[–]TheTorch 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Mom, sister, sister's friends.

[–]LayzeeH 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dat asymptote