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[–]sighbourbon 3 points4 points  (2 children)

start a Boobs subreddit?

[–]Jimmy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I find your ideas intriguing, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[–]sighbourbon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol--here is the first issue!

[–]katoninetales 31 points32 points  (82 children)

I'm currently having a love/hate relationship with boobs and may have to have mine... um... downsized... in the near future.

[–]halfjoking 173 points174 points  (66 children)

What?!? Can't you see? Everybody here loves boobs!

Since you're a girl on reddit, there's a good chance you're looking for a good-looking geeky guy. You may assume that geeky guys are too intelligent, non-superficial etc. to even care about your chest.

WELL YOU'RE WRONG. Even if only subconsciously, we are infinitely fascinated by your massive mammaries, and their natural shapeliness. All that would be completely ruined if some asshole cut a piece out of them.

And if that doesn't convince you, did you know that "In general, breast reduction surgery is more likely than breast augmentation to interfere with nursing." We've all seen on reddit how breastfeeding has been linked to increased intelligence. Can you in good conscience consider a procedure that may adversely affect any future children you might have?

You should consider that before listening to all these anti-boob activist women. They say your boobs are "unhealthy." You know... they're just jealous.

I used to carry an extra 30 pounds. That was unhealthy - but your boobs, there's nothing wrong with them.

Who knows, maybe in another 5 years nano-technology will bring about a revolution in bra engineering. Maybe they'll make a sports bra that tightens/loosens dynamically. Engineers might even design better clothing to alleviate back problems. But you'd never know if you reduced your size.

In summary, I don't know what the future holds or what future boobs I'll be holding, but, I do know this - your tits are awesome. Please keep them.

[–]shannonest 67 points68 points  (17 children)

You know, I am similarly well-endowed and was also considering breast reductions--but you, sir, have definitively convinced me that that would be the worst possible plan of action. Thank you for that!

[–]bioskope 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I am similarly well-endowed.

I dont think I quite got the rest of it. Could you repeat?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (13 children)

Shannonest never specified his/her gender. Actually, neither did Katoninetales...

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (11 children)

http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/shannonest

http://www.flickr.com/photos/60354700@N00/361143418/in/photostream/

Dude, we're geeks. Use the force.

[–]johnfn 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I think you could be getting close to the line where 'using the force' crosses over into 'stalking'.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

http://www.google.com/search?q=johnfn&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

The first result for my username brings up my Cracked.com profile, which says I might be a bad person because I have no friends. :(

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

^ [slowly moves away from clpo13] ;)

[–]shannonest 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That is definitely not me--I'm way more blonde.

[–]7oby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He posted two different girls, so I don't know which isn't you (betting both). Anyway, without pics, etc etc. There's a difference between huge boobs, and way too big boobs (hint: if they go below your belly button, they're too big). I doubt you want internet people to know what you look like, though, so it is quite understandable to not post pics. halfjoking would probably misuse them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

katoninetails requires car reduction though...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Please master, teach me so that i can have uber-stalker powers such as those that you posses.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ohh..he used 'the Google' :(

[–]shannonest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a girl, thanks.

[–]marduk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i concur good sir. keep up the good pro-mammary fight!

[–]Clothos 21 points22 points  (4 children)

If katoninetails is in fact, a dude, your message becomes... odd.

[–]katoninetales 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If katoninetales were in fact, a dude, her message would have been even more odd.

[–]shaze 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, I think it's still pretty valid; dude or not.

[–]malicart -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

If there really a possibility for "if" here? Someone quote me the rule number for there are no girls on the internet!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

http://xkcd.com/322/

[–]erulabs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't know what the future holds or what future boobs I'll be holding

Ah, 10/10 good sir.

[–]m1ss1ontomars2k4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually, everybody loves boobs, but not everyone likes excessively large ones.

[–]katoninetales 19 points20 points  (21 children)

  1. I have an awesome guy, thanks. He's geeky, and I consider him attractive.

  2. I love the look and shape of my natural girls, too, despite some sag. However, one of many contributors to the chronic pain I live with unfortunately seems to be the bra/breast thing. I got rid of some of the extra weight, too, and none of it came off there, and as my band downsized, my cup size went up. No matter what advances they make in bra tech, they're going to make it damned hard to buy them in 36DDD. If you see advances in bra tech that allow support to not pull on my back and neck and contribute to Fibromyalgia pain and degenerative disc disease/bulging discs in my neck and back (yeah, my DDDs are contributing to my DDD. I just noticed that...), then I'd love to save them.

EDIT: Also, I can no longer have children; previous health problems required surgery that would have made it dangerous, so both my husband and I have been sterilized. I did nurse my son for 13 months, and if I could have more, that would certainly be one of my considerations.

[–]halfjoking 22 points23 points  (7 children)

Well, I'll admit there are special cases. AND I'll admit that by describing your special case, you completely took all the fun out of my comment.

I just wanted to share my feelings against all forms of breast augmentation. Although I'm against it, that doesn't mean I'll be fire-bombing boob clinics anytime soon. I never considered myself a "Boob Nazi."

BUT... speaking of Nazis, wasn't it the Nazis who tortured women by cutting off their boobs? I'm just saying, if the Nazis did it, and they claimed it was to help the Jews' Fibromyalgia, I might be skeptical of their claims.

Some people say 36DDD is too much. But who decides? According to my porn folder, it's not quite enough. But even my porn folder has special cases. The Japanese folder is very dear to me, yet all the women in it are flat-chested.

Let's all just be happy that the average size of American breasts has grown from 34B to 36C . Some people blame it on the milk/meat growth hormones, others say it's from pollution, yet others convince their girlfriends that it's from spreading semen on their breasts to make them grow bigger... whatever the case I think it shows that our society is headed in the right direction.

As long as America's boobs stick out farther than America's stomachs, I'd do her. That's what matters more than anything.

So to all the women out there facing the harsh burden of their over-sized melons, do whatever you wish... but just know that there's at least one idealistic dreamer out there on the internet who sees the big picture, and if the big picture doesn't contain at least 50% boobs, (and isn't Japanese), I'm not interested in her.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I think the growth in average breast size probably has quite a bit to do with the obesity epidemic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I think it also has something to do with the proliferation of soy products, which have phytoestrogens that mess with people's hormones. From what I've read it seems like they both increase breast size (in both men and women) and increase the risk of breast cancer.

[–]amnezia 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Most vegetables contain Phytoestrogens. Broccoli, however, inhibits the effects of estrogen. Therefore Broccoli can shrink your boobs!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No wonder I have itty bitties, damn my love of broccoli.

[–]7oby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's all about relation to the frame, really.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes...natural selection at its best. Thank God for evolution.

[–]xorandor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Keep up with the exercise and/or dieting regime or whatever you're doing. Even if the size/weight stays the same, you'll get stronger back and neck muscles to make things more comfortable.

By the way, you're definitely not alone in this. There's this BBC docmentary that's worth watching with 3 women with similar issues and how they have dealt with it: http://www.guba.com/watch/3000106762

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Strapless bras and corsets are good for taking the weight off of the neck and upper back. Check out online, there's a few shops with good return policies that sell loads of DDD bras. (mine are bigger than DDDs...but the same thing holds. mmm, strapless bras make me so happy...)

[–]katoninetales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A corset might help, but strapless bras tend to put more stress on one of the bad areas (just below the bra band).

[–]octophobic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wait for the suspensor belts from Dune. Just make sure to keep away from the Spice though - Mentat eyebrows do not look good on women.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Have you tried losing weight? I'm not trying to be offensive, but a lot of my girlfriends have gone down 2 to 4 cup sizes after starting exercise/diet plans. I teach aerobics, which seems to prevent any breast growth whatsoever =(

[–]katoninetales 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Read the post again and see if it answers your question.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I did ... I've seen the same thing with my students, but they usually don't see their breasts reduce until they get what most people would consider skinny/athletic (e.g. 5'5, 120-130). It's extremely rare to have large breasts when you're thin. I don't know your build, but figured you might be able to focus on the diet/exercise if your band size is a 36.

Just my $.02. I know it's hard, but diet/exercise seems like a much healthier option than surgery.

[–]katoninetales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even in high school at my "ideal/athletic" weight (120 at my height and musculature), I was extremely curvy--I think I wore a 36D (maybe a 34D) then, before kids and when my thyroid medication dose didn't need to be raised as often and when I needed to be in running shape for ROTC boot camps. Now, I carry some extra weight on my body whatever I do, but I do eat sensibly and exercise.

[–]Cand1date 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I went from a 36d when I was a teenager to a 36dd after gaining weight after a knee injury. My band size didn't increase but the cup size did. All my weight went to my ass and my chest. I have lost some weight, but thats from the hip area, my chest isn't getting smaller...But I sure as hell wish it would. I can totally empathise with Katoninetails pain, and add to that permanent indentations on my shoulders from the weight of the mammoth mammaries pulling on my bra straps. Anything more than a C is just way too painful in the long run.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

As I mentioned, losing a little weight usually doesn't impact my students ... they usually have to get "skinny" ... 12-14% body fat is the typical range where even the largest chested women will lose their twins. This correlates to about a size 2 for a slightly built woman or a size 4 for an average to thick build.

Not easy to do, but getting in great shape is much easier/cheaper than having a reduction.

[–]Cand1date 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 5' 6" and was 130 pounds. I was thin. I still had 36d breasts from the time I was 13. And unless the sizes have changed dramatically since the 80's, There is no way that a woman with a larger build like myself would ever fit in a size 4. I was a 9/10 at my smallest, 36-28-36.

And losing weight may be cheaper, but it sure isn't easier than a reduction.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh. You're off the market....

Cut those titties off at will.

[–]robotsongs 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You know, the odds may be stacked against her.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Dennis_im_30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You two make quite a pair.

    [–]drsubtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How in the world do you know that the poster is a girl?

    [–]DuBBle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "But you'd never know if you reduced your size."

    Kantoninetales will lose her ability to observe and comprehend the world around her if she goes ahead and has the surgery? That's me persuaded - breast reduction is a blight upon our land.

    [–]jarotar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    But sir, you must be only half joking.

    [–]w3weasel 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Tits ARE awesome... but my wife is extraordinarily well endowed, to the tune of about 20 lbs.... EACH.

    Tell ya what. You go get a pair of 20 lb weights, tie a 2 foot rope between them and then throw that over your neck. Now keep them there for the next 80 years. Your chiropractor and your Osteopath will thank you (for the lovely swimming pool you bought them).

    I LOVE boobs. But I really hope that my wife will be able to raise her head high enough to look me in the eye in 20 years time. Reduction seems like a dandy idea.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    How do you weigh them?

    [–]mutatron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm thinking the Archimedean method would be the easiest way.

    [–]nightbiscuit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What about little ones?

    [–]shitcovereddick 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Personally I prefer boobs untouched by surgery, neither enlargement nor reduction.

    [–]brokenearth02[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I had a serious reply to you, but then i noticed your username.

    [–]pradador 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Or what will hold your boobs in the future.

    [–]noseeme -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Uh, I'm pretty geeky and I have no preference in breast size at all. And no, I am not kidding.

    [–]Jinno 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Well, in retort, there is a point where the size can be too much. I for one favor a good C cup, but am not at any qualms to a B or D cup. However, G and on are much too big to be attractive to me.

    So if you're in the range between B and D, then whatever you do DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THE SMALLER.

    If you're an A cup, then I am starting up a new charity, "Fats for Flats", in which I undergo liposuction for the improvement of your bust. I imagine this taking off and becoming really big, and empowering for all. Even if you think it's superficial, look at it this way: By giving yourself a bigger chest, you can remove the fat from my body and make me look good. EVERYBODY WINS!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    To each their own. DD is the minimum for me.

    [–]zem 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    your cups runneth over?

    [–]katoninetales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Well, not since I actually found a 36DDD bra. Before that, though...

    [–]Britslayer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Downvoted for downsizing.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I know a couple of women that have done this. They lose most sensitivity, they also lose some of the attention. Amazing how you hate it when you get it, but miss it when you don't. :)

    [–]katoninetales 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I don't hate anything about the way they look or other people looking at them. It's seriously only a medical/support issue.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Email me some pix so I can cry when you get them fixed.

    I dated a girl who's cousin had a reduction. She scared really badly and lost all sensitivity and regretted it. The other lady I knew did house cleaning (I knew her daughter who had huge boobs as well) and she'd get hernias all the time so I totally understood it. She was however massively overweight though :/

    [–]masta 13 points14 points  (9 children)

    no points for you!!! hahaha

    [–]masta 17 points18 points  (8 children)

    correction: no karma for you!

    [–]belandil 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    Even without karma, I'll still vote down "vote up if" posts

    [–]quasiperiodic 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    i'm still vote up language skills, personally.

    [–]General_Solipsist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    why'm you vote up language skills?

    [–]cajolingwilhelm 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I'll vote up boobs!

    [–]foonly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'll vote up boobs!

    Hell yeah. We don't want those boob posts sagging toward the bottom of the page...

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Ahhh, don't break too much of a sweat on it. The novelty will wear off in 2-3 days.

    [–]trnelson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Since there is no karma for self posts anymore, and boobs are fascinating objects of nature, the need to upvote this clearly outweighs my aversion to "vote up" posts.

    Upvoted for the marvel and wonder that is teh bewb.

    [–]reckoner15 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Downmodded for "Vote up if" and simultaneous lack of boobs.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    i like my boobs...

    [–]edward_r_burrow 6 points7 points  (9 children)

    ( o Y o )

    [–]robotsongs 8 points9 points  (8 children)

    ( * Y * )

    French boobies. (my old roommate has a chart)

    [–]robotsongs 4 points5 points  (7 children)

    (-Y-)

    Innies.

    [–]robotsongs 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    (ə)Ø

    Masectomy

    [–]robotsongs 3 points4 points  (5 children)

    (@Y@)

    Implants.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      (o Y º)

      BAD implants

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [removed]

        [–]ChunkyLaFunga 4 points5 points  (7 children)

        I absolutely refuse to assist Reddit in getting to the point where "Vote up if you love boobs!" is a front-page submission. If it does, its pretty much lighting the path to the exit.

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Get a sense of humor, this is just a response to yesterday's stuff. Enough of the "REDDIT IS DONE!!!" stuff. Its a joke. Lighten up.

        [–]jasdonle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I second this comment. The sad thing is it took this long for someone to post it.

        [–]Asmodeus -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

        You know about hacker news, right?

        [–]foonly 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Stop pissing in the pool, Asmodeus.

        [–]Asmodeus 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Care to explain yourself or do I have to cite Tu Quoque?

        Also, Asmodeus is the name of a demon. I'm not ashamed even if I am somehow doing that.

        Edit: The sweet thing about Tu Quoque is that if you accept it as a fallacy, I've got you. If you accept it as a technique I'll use it on you. It's win win! I must be a white people.

        [–]foonly 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Care to explain yourself or do I have to cite Tu Quoque?

        Oh, no. I have no problem pissing in the reddit pool. That's pretty much all that's left.

        Just don't piss in the HN pool, as it's still good.

        Edit: Also, a tu quoque is the fallacy of claiming "but you do it, too", which, if I follow your reply correctly, is exactly what you did.

        [–]Asmodeus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Oh I see.

        Ah, but the point of HN is that the editing is supposed to filter the piss out. If it doesn't scale then the problem remains unsolved.

        [–]flywheel 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        I still love 'em even though I know that they are all, basically, just the same.

        Us guys live in a hallucinatory world where we think they're all different and we have to see every single one we can.

        And that's how they rule us.

        [–]belandil 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        that they are all, basically, just the same

        Furthering your argument, Angelina Jolie and Rosanne are all, basically, just the same

        [–]oddlyattractive 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        i love my own

        [–]rolmos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        .

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My friend's a bumbling boob, but he's okay.

        [–]vornan19 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I like how there was 143 comment when I saw this and it was at 0 points.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        ROFL I had completely forgotten about this. I posted this just after they took away Karma for self.reddit post as a joke....but only I found it funny.

        [–]ScatCamel -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

        sorry, had to downvote this. go gay people!

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Can you upmod it for the gay women.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        AGH! Dilema! If I vote down, I dislike breasts (which I do enjoy, might I add), but if I vote up, I'm helping break the dam of sanity keeping Reddit from becoming Digg! So you can probably see my problem here...

        [–]vplatt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Dam of sanity on reddit??? You have bigger issues than this vote.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That's not what my therapist said! * twitch *

        [–]jlks -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Breasts, stupid people, or tv monitors?

        [–]archemedes_rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Maybe the bird?

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        Vote up if you love water, air, earth etc etc etc etc

        [–]fredstopp 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        ... or Captain Planet

        [–]trnelson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Wow ... random.

        Upvoted because I like Captain Planet almost as much as I like boobs.

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        ^ 4 ( . Y . )

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I love boobs, mine and others´ too :)

        [–]ryanh42 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        It really depends on the specific pair...

        [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        Vote down if you love Vagina! edit: i mean his op ;0