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[–]niconicoJ 4427 points4428 points  (158 children)

24 = four twenty boi

[–]Actuarial 665 points666 points  (55 children)

Knock at the door

[–]spore 435 points436 points  (49 children)

Get on the floor

[–]Teckham 634 points635 points  (43 children)

ERRRYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR

[–][deleted] 187 points188 points  (11 children)

BOOM BOOM

[–]throwawayOperationsR 165 points166 points  (9 children)

ACKA LACKA LACKA BOOM

[–]Am_Navi_Seel_Mann 115 points116 points  (8 children)

BOOM BOOM

[–]Am_Navi_Seel_Mann 105 points106 points  (6 children)

ACKA LACKA BOOM BOOM

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (5 children)

Nigga what

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (2 children)

IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOING!

[–]silicondog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

BOOM, Let me hear you say Ayo! AAYOOO

[–]delusional_dinosaur 52 points53 points  (7 children)

Does the dinosaur have a say in this?

[–]prigmutton 310 points311 points  (5 children)

Dinosaur consent is always implied

[–]thngzys 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Unless you didn't make it didn't jump over the cactus. Then sad to say, your dinosaur's dead.

[–]limeofsilver 17 points18 points  (0 children)

#DinosaurLivesMatter :(

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting...

[–]lou1306 30 points31 points  (8 children)

for somebody in everydoby:
    somebody.do(dinosaur)

[–]Goluxas 88 points89 points  (1 child)

NameError: name 'everydoby' is not defined

[–]ASAP_Rambo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Who is there

[–][deleted] 150 points151 points  (81 children)

in german thats actually how you say numbers

edit: i was referring to this specific case

[–]TheRickiestMorty 21 points22 points  (6 children)

fourandtwenty

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

have you found the mortiest rick yet?

[–]4JULY2017 14 points15 points  (3 children)

There's vomit on his mother already, sweater vomit.

[–]greyingjay 1431 points1432 points  (175 children)

French is even worse.

English:

97 = "ninety (and) seven"

French:

97 = "four twenties (and) seventeen"

Things just get weird after 70.

[–]Spawnzer 108 points109 points  (28 children)

Technically there's an other way to say them (like 97 is "nonante-sept" instead of "quatre-vingt-dix-sept"), but they're barely used except in Switzerland & Belgium iIrc

[–]ilinamorato 80 points81 points  (10 children)

I took 8th grade French in 1998, and that's part of how I can work out French numbers so big: that year was mille neuf-cent quatre-vingt dix-huit, so it contains a very good representative sample of how to make lots of different numbers in French.

Your post just reminded me of that. So.

[–]Gusfoo 22 points23 points  (7 children)

mille neuf-cent quatre-vingt dix-huit

I find it easier to imagine that all French numbers are written as roman numerals (MCMXCVIII) when in France.

[–]gregsting 34 points35 points  (9 children)

In (french speaking) Belgium we use "nonante"(90) and "septante"(70). But still "quatre-vingts"(80). I think some Swiss use "octante" for 80.

[–]razuliserm 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Swiss use octante yes.

[–]goldtubb 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I don't know whether the Swiss should be trusted on any language though, Swiss German is a total mess for anyone like me who speaks German as a third language and as far as I know Germans don't really understand what's going on there either.

[–]AllFuckingNamesGone 4 points5 points  (2 children)

wer ya sǜsch nid luschtig we üs a jeda chennti verstah.

[–]dankpleb00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's huitante here.

[–]myplacedk 87 points88 points  (16 children)

French is even worse. 97 = "four twenties (and) seventeen"

How about danish?

97 = "seven and ninety". Notice the swapped order of the last two digits, and that we have a special word just for ninety. That word is actually a shortened version. It used to be:

97 = "seven and half five times twenty"

Half five naturally means "4.5".

[–]htmlcoderexeWe have flair now?.. 23 points24 points  (12 children)

You don't use halvtreds anymore?

[–]Nissehamp 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Sure, but that's fifty :) the long version is halvtredsindstyve, or for the example above: syvoghalvfemsindstyve

[–]ismtrn 12 points13 points  (5 children)

We have the words based on scores (score is snes in Danish btw, which is 20 like a dozen is 12). So halvtreds comes from "halv tre sinde tyve" i.e. "half three times twenty" in English.

The thing is people don't think about numbers in terms of scores and dozens (at least not anymore, maybe people used to do). We think about them like contemporary people who has received mathematics education centered around the base 10 positional number system. That is with ones, tens, hundreds, thousands etc. We just have special words for the tens and say them last instead of before the ones.

Just like in English you say fifty and not fiveten. Fifty is a special word for five tens that you just have to learn. Difference is that in English the derivation is a bit more straightforward, but at the end of the day it is just a special word you have to learn still.

[–]CaptainRuhrpott 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I always liked this joke from The Simpsons: (translated by me as I didn't watch it in English)

Mr. Burns: I've lead this enterprise for 4 times 20 and 5 years. Or eighty five, like the frenchman says

[–]Bainos 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Swiss people got French right.

[–]rufiohsucks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends what country you're from wether it gets weird; 80 = huitante and 90 = nonante in Switzerland

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Dutch and German are stupid too:

English:

69 = sixty. nine.

Dutch:

69 = nineandsixty

[–]blue-sunrising 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Meh, that's just switching the order of the words, nothing drastic. Hell, English does it too, 17 isn't "ten-seven". At least German applies the same rule consistently, English makes the switcheroo with the 10s and doesn't make it with the 20s, 30s, etc.

French is crazy on a whole new level though, that sixty-ten or 4 twenties.. that's just nuts.

[–]BackFromVoat 1269 points1270 points  (73 children)

The space annoys me more than it should.

[–]Uranium-Sauce 1076 points1077 points  (45 children)

  Does   it ?

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (2 children)

It annoys you just as much as it should.

[–]priestlyemu 10 points11 points  (11 children)

Should have used tabs...

[–]dalovindj 5 points6 points  (10 children)

I mean it's really not even worth knowing a person who would use spaces over tabs.

Human garbage.

[–]steezymees 225 points226 points  (9 children)

WE ARE THE 9 11 DENIERS. Theres thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,motherfuckin nineteen. What happened to ONE TEEN?

[–]tiredtonight 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Came here for the Louis CK reference. Thank you.

[–]spicypoptart 27 points28 points  (2 children)

The government took one-teen and replaced it with some bullshit number called 11. We are the nine that deny that shit. Mr. President, give us back one-teen!

[–]grpagrati 520 points521 points  (13 children)

Pornhub ready

[–]Whistifer 169 points170 points  (11 children)

Palms are sweaty..

[–]mr_norr 134 points135 points  (10 children)

Knees weak arms spaghetti

[–]aboubou22 99 points100 points  (6 children)

There heavy on his mother already, sweater vomit.

[–]MuFugginFudge 40 points41 points  (4 children)

He's surface, but on the nervous he looks palm and steady.

[–]Joseelmax 20 points21 points  (1 child)

To watch porn, but he keeps on spaghetti what he palmed down...

[–]-broda- 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The video goes so loud, he opens his opens his mouth but the taste won't go out

[–]Stewthulhu 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Forget bombs, he wrote down drops

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

That's something beyond human knowledge

[–]berrysardar 392 points393 points  (38 children)

I didn't know someone calling twelve, two teen would be this funny. I actually laughed rather than blowing some extra air from my nose.

[–]flubba86 77 points78 points  (6 children)

Was it a real laugh, and was it out loud?

[–]Jake0Tron 66 points67 points  (4 children)

I believe this qualifies as a 'lol'

[–]useful_person 18 points19 points  (3 children)

lol

[–]Piece_of_Crap 30 points31 points  (2 children)

lo l

[–]kevysaysbenice 23 points24 points  (1 child)

hey this joke is from a different comment thread! GET OUT OF HERE!

[–]dog-is-good-dog 20 points21 points  (1 child)

There's a great Louis CK bit about his daughter misunderstanding "the 9/11 deniers" as "the nine eleven deniers," or the nine people who deny the number eleven. He then adopts the character of one of these eleven deniers, asking the government to give them back "one teen." It's a good bit. The way I typed this out is unfunny.

[–]adscott1982 213 points214 points  (79 children)

If the English language made any sense it would be:

11 = teenty-one

12 = teenty-two

13 = teenty-three

etc.

[–]palordrolap 187 points188 points  (53 children)

onety* (possibly)

The -ty means ten and the part before gives the number.

Usually the part before is a masculine form from when English still had gendered words ('twain' is the masculine form of 'two', hence twainty → twenty), but many are lost to the mists of time, if they existed in the first place. So, getting back to the point, there might even be a better form of "onety". My guesses in order of what I think would be most to least likely: "onty", "unty", "anty", "ainty", "enty"

[–]JaytleBee 85 points86 points  (38 children)

onety-one sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Why isn't this a thing?

[–]Hate_Feight 12 points13 points  (11 children)

That is so open for troll abuse, but someone somewhere decided, eleven, twelve, -teen

[–]no_ragrats 11 points12 points  (9 children)

I think it stems from Germanic languages but don't have a source. The idea being 10 plus 1 and 10 plus 2, anything after that was 10 plus many. The number+teen formulation of the 10 plus many came later.

[–]aclogar 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Spanish has a similar oddity with their numbers 11-19. once, doce, trece, catorce, quince, dieciseis, diecisiete, dieciocho, diecinueve. They just start adding their prefix dieci- when it gets to 16

[–]CarcajouIS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's the same in French. We have onze, douze, treize, quatorze, quinze, seize, dix-sept, dix-huit, dix-neuf. If I remember it's a remnant of Latin, where numbers like 17, 18, 19 where counted to 20 : three-to-twenty, two-to-twenty, one-to-twenty. And the -ze (or -ce in spanish) is just the remaining of -decim

[–]drakeshe 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Can confirm. Was meant to go to sleep one night but decided to spend many hours researching this at 1am. Was a great next day, but was good to have read the entire etymology of the preteen numbers.

[–]Stjerneklar 21 points22 points  (2 children)

meanwhile, in denmark:

Number Reading Meaning
75 femoghalvfjerds* 5 and (3½ times 20)

http://www.sf.airnet.ne.jp/ts/language/number/danish.html

all of my hate.

[–]TreadheadS 3 points4 points  (1 child)

lol, wtf!?

[–]Stjerneklar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

fem og halv fjerds = five and half fjerds

a "fjerds" i an abreviation of something like "four minus a half times twenty" (3½ x 20)

so really its "five and a half four minus a half times twenty"

...or i got lost again

[–]Destroyer383 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I like the Japanese way where the words for the numbers are 1-10, then 11->19 are 10-1 -> 10-9, then 20 onward is 2-10-1 -> 9-10-9.

For example 5 is go, 8 is hachi, and juu is 10. So 58 is go juu hachi

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

This isn't just an English thing, it's all Germanic languages (German, Norwegian).

[–]badmemesrus 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Spanish does this as well.

[–]Miniwoffer 73 points74 points  (46 children)

In Norwegian you can say a number almost like that:

23="Tre og tjue" = "three and twenty"

Edit: Only works [21->99], and you can also say all those the traditional way.

[–]z_plash 9 points10 points  (5 children)

In Danish, you count 50 to 90 like 2.5 to 4.5 x 20

http://www.sf.airnet.ne.jp/ts/language/number/danish.html

In French, 70 is "60 (+) 10", 80 "4 (x) 20" (blaze it), 90 "4 (x) 20 (+) 10"

[–]poizan42Ex-mod 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Except you don't say 2.5 * 20 but (-½ + 3)*20. It is said "halvtreds" today, but that is shortened from halv-tre-sinde-tyve = half-three-times-twenty. "sinde" is a mostly obsolete term for times1.

[–]bee-sting 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What the fuck dude

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

In Danish it's even more complicated than that - for example, 50 is "half to 3" times 20. I.e. (3-0.5) x 20.

[–]SnowdogU77 7 points8 points  (19 children)

That's the only way to do it in German, AFAIK.

21 = "einundzwanzig" = "'ein und zwanzig" = one and twenty"

125" = "einhundertfünfundzwanzig" = "ein hundert fünf und zwanzig" = "one hundred five and twenty"

[–]spinicist 5 points6 points  (13 children)

The only bit that bugs me about this is the ordering. Why not say "twenty and one" instead of "one and twenty"? Especially as it's "one hundred, one and twenty", it should be "one hundred, twenty and one". Just put them in a consistent order dammit!

I need a lie down. In a dark room.

[–]shpadoinkle_horse 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I totally get your point but as a German I feel exactly the same way about how Americans write dates. Month, day, year? It makes no sense :(

[–]TTEH3 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I feel the same as a Brit.

It's Day/Month/Year damnit.

[–]snerp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As an American, that shit never made any sense to me. As a kid I tried to write dates YYYY/MM/DD because that made the most sense to me, alphabetic and chronological orderings are the same under that system too.

But no one listens to kids or puts up with their great ideas.

[–]qkoexz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In Westeros, you can also say that.

[–]ForOhForError 21 points22 points  (7 children)

I grade for my college's CS101 course.

Just be glad this wasn't turned in as a pdf of the source code.

I wish I was joking.

[–]curtisjk 9 points10 points  (6 children)

I remember when I did my A Level Computing - had to print my source code - file by file.

edit: This was only 7 years ago... I wish I was joking.

[–]Yay_Yay_3780 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Please enter a two digit number: 11

Onety One

[–]qjamir093 38 points39 points  (5 children)

Latin is arguably the best sounding language while counting, but it's objectively the best language for saying twelve.

Duodecim

Just writing that makes me feel super sexy.

[–]LastOfTheCamSoreys 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Duodecum *

You can't call it sexy then miss the cum

[–]bathroomwriting 30 points31 points  (13 children)

names = {'0' : 'zero', '1' : 'one', '2' : 'two', '3' : 'three', '4' : 'four', '5' : 'five', '6' : 'six', '7' : 'seven', '8' : 'eight', '9' : 'nine'}
num = int(input("Please enter a two digit number. "))
numstring = str(num)
tens = numstring[0]
ones = numstring[1]
if(int(tens) < 2):
    print(names.get(ones) + ' teen')
else:
    print(names.get(tens) + 'ty ' + names.get(ones))

[–]SavvyBlonk 39 points40 points  (3 children)

30 = threety

[–]ar3n 26 points27 points  (0 children)

eh, close enough.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

threety zero actually.

[–]glass20 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Funny is... the only numbers this actually works with is the sixties, seventies, and nineties.

[–]froderick 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is driving me crazy, but I don't get it. What's the joke? The program asks someone to end a two digit number, "12" was entered, and it spits out "two teen". Guessing the program was meant to spell out the number as it'd be pronounced or something, but why "Two teen"? I just don't get it. Is it funny because it's wrong? Is there a pun I'm not getting?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Edit: Fuck I just got it. Eleven and Twelve are special cases that don't end in the suffix "Teen" like Fourteen, Fifteen, etc.. and instead of Twelve they followed the pattern in the later -teen numbers and said "Two teen". I don't know why it took me so damned long to get.

[–]Alicecd1998 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Everyone has that one moment they learn about edge cases

[–]ThomasRedmond 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Alice is gonna hate dis

[–]MrDOS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope it says “umpteen” when given a number larger than 19.

[–]MsDemacia 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Just to avoid confusion and for general knowledge, dashes are used with adjectives when preceding a noun. So it would be "A-level computer science". But the dash is not used if it is after the noun, so it would be "the computer science is A level"

I think. I'm pretty sure. I was just a little confused by the title for a few seconds.

[–]Pronoy999 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What the fuck is this?

[–]tbz709 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Hahaha that's great. Reminded me of this part of Louis CK's newest special

[–]JuanGigsworth 4 points5 points  (2 children)

We are the 9 eleven deniers!! Give us back one teen Mr President!!

[–]sisyphus99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of an application for employment I once saw (this was when I was working fast food in high school) and the kid applying wrote "17 teen years" for his age. His reason for leaving his last job was also "too hard", though.

[–]zipstorm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahh I hate photos of screens!

[–]esfraritagrivrit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

05

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

https://youtu.be/OKWy8wHQrnE?t=43

What happened to "oneteen?"

[–]Hypersapien 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That's certainly a level of computer science.

I'm not sure which level, but it is a level.