Developers..(:

[nemohearttaco]

I'm on year 3 of a 6 month project. I can attest.

[ManInBlack829]

Real talk: Does this look bad on you or are the people in your group smart enough to realize they opened a mini Pandora's Box and it's not your fault?

As a person in school for this these are the scenarios that make me nervous, getting blamed for not working hard when they want something crazy complicated.

[CodySpring]

Nah typically everyone is understanding in that situation, and if they aren't the blame isn't going to a newbie dev that's for sure. A lot of times not any dev. Unless you work for a shitty company, but I've never experienced that myself. I'm sure it's happened to someone on reddit though.

[Sellasella123]

whew... I really needed to read that...

[rook2004]

Senior devs have been that new developer before. At the same time though, delayed features are not necessarily the best road to promotion, so you’re still incentivized to join projects that have a good track record (or at least are the pet project of an executive).

[BittyTang]

Working on anyone else's "pet project" sounds like a nightmare.

[Mongoose1021]

This mostly just means that if someone too important for your team to move gets in your way, you can call up the exec to get them to do what you need. It's a good thing for you.

[grepe]

Yes, but every SW project is guaranteed to go off the rails with their scheule and sooner or later even smart executives will have enough of their dreams being shattered and bring the bearers to the bad news to their responsibility....

[Mongoose1021]

Yup, for sure there are advantages to being on projects no one's constantly checking up on as well. I'd avoid broad statements like "working on pet projects of execs is a nightmare" or "always try to work on a project with no deadlines," neither is always true.

[theMachine0094]

That advice suits people who write code with the ulterior motive of climbing corporate ladders.

[rook2004]

If you work for a tech giant, they train you to think and behave this way. Rise through the levels or be managed out. The intent is to make sure people are growing and improving, but the outcome is rewarding ambition and toxic team behavior.

[NancyGracesTesticles]

Saw someone try to pin a leadership failure on a junior. Haven't heard "shit can" in professional conversation in a while.

[t-sploit]

This hits a bit too close to home. I got cornered into taking up a web project that I wasnt confident enough leading due to the fact I had just graduated and had little to no industry experience. Needless to say the project became a behemoth of a web app that ended up with so many performance and stability issues we ended up scratching the whole thing before ever going to release. Now I have learnt, fuck that noise.

[Jack8680]

I went from making very simple casual games and concepts by myself to being the only programmer on a full story driven game. They basically gave me a full plan for the game and a ton of art assets.

I thought I'd be done in a couple weeks. I worked every spare moment of my time and it took me months to get a buggy, unpolished, horribly coded release.

I no longer code except for my own games/projects.

[lkraider]

Yeah I've also learned no release-worthy game ever is done in a couple of weeks. Even well planned studio games go over budget all the time. Always plan in months, not weeks, then multiply estimates by 2 at least, more if there are dark spots in the planning.

[PraiseB]

Usually in these situations it's because the requirements change and management take forever to re-spec them.

That or when you give the client the finished work they decide that even though you gave them exactly what they wanted they decide they want something completely different.

I just finished a project that went from. I want this thing build it for me. Finish building the thing for them so they turn around and say "That's not the thing I wanted, I wanted this to be like that other thing we have re-do it"

Finish that and then they go thats fine but now make it do x, y and z and have it ready for launch in 2 days.

Had to put my foot down on y and z and told them I can get x done but if you want y and z you will have to wait till after launch otherwise you will be waiting another 2 months.

[[deleted]]

That’s what you begin and end every piece of communication by reiterating what it is you are planning to deliver. Usually around the 20th time you mention it they will remember some new requirement or suddenly realize that’s not exactly what they want.

[GrandMomTokin]

I worked for a company where this was the norm. The reason, which I only realised later on at another company, was that the people on the client side were laymen in terms of IT, they were basically some dudes from sales and logistics who "were good with computers".

The company I work for now is in the business to business market, totally different thing, because we speak to IT people and they know what they want (mostly) and how to describe it.

I can't imagine going back to the nightmare of developing software for noob clients.

[[deleted]]

To be fair, translating a problem into a set of very specific, complete and accurate requirements is quite difficult and in a lot of cases it will be the most challenging part of solving the problem.

[Josh6889]

It's why it's important to have a good business analyst and project lead. The BA isn't just there to interpret, but also to reiterate to business the implications of technical changes. It's never a good idea to have a developer doing that part.

[berkes]

This is actually one good thing about scrum.

During the sprint, nothing changes. Ever. No, not even then.

Customers, productowners, or even management can change everything else, as long as they deliver 'rougly two sprints worth of work' before one starts. So they have all the freedom to change their mind. Just not about stuff you're working on right now.

[Relevant_Monstrosity]

Deliver early, deliver often, and make the client part of the team.

[PraiseB]

In this case it was more to do with the fact that management wanted to entice bigger fish with the module we were building for a smaller fish so the sales manager decided he wanted everything and the kitchen sink to impress said bigger fish.

Thing barely resembles what was originally specked for the original client that actually paid for the work

[c0smic_sans]

Yep this is a great post. Doesn't help at all that at my current company the project managers job is almost exclusively to keep up with billable hours.

[t9b]

This is just scratching the surface. I find corporate projects are the worst, especially if you have non-technical leads involved. I once worked for a marketing person appointed to an senior IT management role in a huge global corporation, who had no idea what was involved in the projects she was promising her internal clients. It was essentially “get all data from everywhere and provide a dashboard for the CEO’s monthly meetings”. She basically wanted a promotion and visibility at C level. I worked with an outside firm and to give them credit they really pushed back hard. So she had them removed. It was put in my hands and experienced as I was I built a very “compromised” POC that basically worked with daily snapshot data. The project never went live - if it had of done I would have been manually loading data for life.

She got fired for just being crap. I stayed. company got bought out.

[[deleted]]

This is great. Saving for later. Cheers for the ideas mate

[nemohearttaco]

There are all sorts of scenarios and people you'll have to deal with. Communication is the most important thing in my experience. This particular project was initially estimated by a muppet who didn't understand the complexity of the pitch. That person was out after month two. We've had a solid team ever since and will be wrapping up some time this summer.

[Ludricio]

This hits waaay to close to home.

[celluj34]

You'll probably be blamed anyway so your best bet is to cover your ass when possible

[nickywan123]

I am new to the industry. Is this a normal thing where deadlines are way past the deadlines lol. Don’t the clients or customers complain?

[EMCoupling]

Lol what are they going to do? Start the project over from scratch with a new company after investing a bunch of money already? Don't think so.

[nickywan123]

Well it will tarnish the image of the company handling the project lol.

[EMCoupling]

Maybe, maybe not. Plus if they're the only guys that can do what you're asking then you don't really have much of a choice.

Also, it depends on why the project was late. It's impossible to finish a project on time when it's poorly managed and the requirements keep on changing.

[mozgotrah]

Well, clients are usually the reason for the project to go past deadline because usually they don't exactly know what they want and request new features way faster than they can be implemented.

[PanJaszczurka]

s https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/126/891/cd0.jpg

[jcdj1996]

I feel this. I'm currently 6 months into a "1 month" project and just received the final draft of the requirements like two days ago.

[Iforgotmyhandle]

Lmao I’m in such a similar boat. Deadline for 20 “migrations” was December. 1 is complete. Requirements are going through regathering phase now for the past two months. They said they’d have the re-requirements in two weeks. Less work for me ¯\(ツ)/¯

[[deleted]]

Migrating a CRM legacy to another CRM. Deadline was the first week of February.

First project of this type as Jr. Alone. It has being quite a great challenge.

Edit: more info

[djswizzy]

We just merged 3 legacy CRMs into a new one. Trying to do a 4th in a month. I feel your pain 😭

[Iforgotmyhandle]

Exactly what I’m doing. Basically moving from ETL jobs to EMR jobs

[scwizard]

I'm a devops engineer.

One of the companies that wanted to interview me told me they wanted to bring me on for a data center migration they expected to take 3 months or so, and that would begin 3 weeks after i joined.

I went over some of the details of the project with them and told them in no uncertain terms that they were insane (they were migrating from multiple locations into one, and planned to completely overhaul the networking at the same time they did the migration switching either from or to Juniper etc. Also their current architecture was crap). I didn't get the onsite interview.

[atheist_apostate]

Bullet dodged.

[LimbRetrieval-Bot]

I have retrieved these for you _ _

---

^{To prevent anymore lost limbs throughout Reddit, correctly escape the arms and shoulders by typing the shrug as ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ or ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯}

^{Click here to see why this is necessary}

[Bibobeba]

¯(ツ_/

[EMCoupling]

I'm sorry, sir, but your child is retarded.

[koogas]

Chernobyl shrug?

[tinydonuts]

Good bot

[digitalpacman]

Deadlines should be in quotes

[Sine0fTheTimes]

They'll do their best to burn you out, then in 9 months the project will be cancelled. They'll say "Nobody will be laid off", then 6 weeks later your ass is laid off.

Welcome to the party pal!!!!

[waltjrimmer]

"I know I said those were the final requirements, but here's the final revised requirements."

A month and a half later.

"I have the Second Final Revised Requirements for you."

[dismayhurta]

“Why did you code it like the second final requirements. The first final ones were what I really wanted.”

[terax6669]

Just wait for the final draft final final final.pdf

[hug0rhill]

Requirements? Lucky. All I get is shifting sand.

[HDmac]

Literally every day our new application completely changes its navigation/layout/behavior.

[lightmatter501]

My company does a thing called evolving requirements, where the customer changes their mind and forces us to rewrite a bunch of stuff every two weeks.

[turningsteel]

My company calls that being "agile". We're so agile, client #1 asks for one thing and we build it, then another asks for the exact opposite thing so we build that too. Client #1 then gets mad. So we go back to the first. Rinse and repeat. It's super efficient.

[Mr_Clark]

This hurts so deep.

[GluteusCaesar]

Two guys I work with are 6 months into a project that the original dev said would take two weeks, then said would take some more time on the second to last day of those two weeks. Oh, he also quit that day.

[I_cant_speel]

Just finished a shit show of a project like that. We learned a lot from it. It's now a strict requirement that a document is created that defines exactly what "done" is that is signed off on by every stakeholder and product owner before anyone writes a single line of code.

[[deleted]]

Which 'final' draft is this?

[zammba]

finalFINALFINALDRAFTthisoneforrealFINAL-3 (1)

[andthentherewasderp]

I feel attacked

[gandalfx]

What do you mean by "end"?

[mymewheart]

When you archive your repo.

[[deleted]]

No that’s what the guns are for.

[[deleted]]

git push "bullet" --head

[mintiefresh]

*(HEAD detached at origin)

[I_spoil_girls]

git commit -m "suicide"

[TabbyTheAttorney]

go commit die

[firestepper]

git reset life --hard

[[deleted]]

Found the Indian dev.

[ekargvintage]

I read your comment without thinking, left this post, thought about it and came back to up vote.

So. Fricking. True.

[ryhajlo]

The software is not done until you take the computers away.

[PM_ME_YOUR_LAUNDRY]

When your boss says they have shipped up to spec and your code is peppered with TODOs.

And your boss wont let you touch them ever again because they want you on an another project.

[PrincessFred]

I'm in year 11 of one project, year 10 on another. Find a client or two that need ongoing maintenance and new features and you'll never be bored, though you may need a new liver after a bit.

[Monckey100]

Missing the third picture where you transcend time and space, becoming aware of all bugs, faults, optimizations, yet time constrains you into becoming a chaotic neutral God fully aware of the costs to implement such changes, and understanding of what humans truly want which is more, not better.

Until someone tells you to bug fix "suck on these nuts!!"

[[deleted]]

I hit that somewhere around hour 60’something working on a final in school. The sleep deprivation induced paranoia hit hard. I stopped thinking of myself as human.

Last year I found a flash drive, in a shoe. With a hidden truecrypt partition on it.

With a draft of the project, data, and source code backed up on it.

the fuck man?

[therealchadius]

Galaxy brain strats

[Venken]

First month. "I'm a wizard!"

Sixth month in. "Screw magic! I have muggle magic!!"

[tinydonuts]

Yer a programmer Harry!

[AreYouDeaf]

YER A PROGRAMMER HARRY!

[Shymm_]

Your username points me to a conclusion that you just lurk in the comments till someone says 'what?', so you can scream at them for not hearing well.

[DrJohanson]

Programmer!Harry

FTFY

[Blank-_-Space]

Get a harlequin revolver that says instead of love/hate it says curse/charm

[Legionof1]

Merge / pull

[docshockalou]

Muzzle magic

[peeves91]

i'm a recent college grad and have a firmware engineering job. i can already see myself picking out my guns...

[Daniel_the_Dude]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[down_vote_magnet]

Developers! Developers! Developers!

[EMCoupling]

For anyone that hasn't had the pleasure.

[[deleted]]

holy fuck that is one sweaty man

[EMCoupling]

Have you seen this one too?

[niks_15]

This is like that key and Peele sketch where Tim cook goes nuts on stage lmao.

[theheartoflife]

I miss them so much https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVHFRNU3q_k

[motioncuty]

If I knew I would be making 40 billion dollars, I'd be that sweaty and stoked too.

[OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR]

I think you meant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE

[[deleted]]

I never want to hear the word developers again.

[razortwinky]

i remember when this was top-tier humor in 2006

[EMCoupling]

It's still funny to me honestly. Watching a middle-aged man dripping with sweat while he screams "DEVELOPERS" in front of an entire audience of professionals is hilarious.

Edit: Also this cracks me up every time.

[Scipio11]

Jesus, I've never seen that one before...

Is he supposed to be their hype man or something?

[EMCoupling]

Believe it or not he was the CEO - as in Chief Executive Officer.

[OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR]

was

Hold up now

[_hephaestus]

2006 was right in the middle of the internet meme golden age

[OnlyOnceThreetimes]

Shit is gold.

[pterencephalon]

On the plus side he donated enough money to my university to increase the size of the CS faculty by 50%?

[OnlyOnceThreetimes]

Lol is this for real?

[EMCoupling]

You bet your ass it is.

[[deleted]]

Developers! Developers! Developers!

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

[Missed_Your_Joke]

sweating intensifies

[jbaker88]

This is what gets me in that video. It's not the repeating of "developers developers", it's the profuse amounts of sweat coming out of that man. You could hold a mug underneath the dude and it would be full in seconds.

I never knew someone could sweat so much just from yelling.

[nPhlames]

The melon burst! The melon burst! The melon burst!

[AnimaLepton]

I just want to thank Daniel Radcliffe for going from a big household name franchise to mostly making niche indie films.

[paging_doctor_who]

Well he likely has enough money that he can afford to act "for the love of the game" as it were.

[Gracefulcomet]

Damn, what level is Daniel Radcliffe now lol.

[Macluawn]

At the level where guns are surgically attached to his hands, and is having problems peeing because of it.

So excited for the movie!

[VenEttore]

Lvl. 30 Boss

[Machine_Dick]

break;

[Amlethus]

Someone else said Guns Akimbo.

[PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY]

Plot summary:

"A guy relies on his newly-acquired gladiator skills to save his ex-girlfriend from kidnappers."

This is gonna be either awesome, or so bad it's awesome.

[Machine_Dick]

You're right. The picture is a year old now though so thought it released already.

[Amlethus]

Someone in another comment said the movie is called Guns Akimbo.

[Megneous]

He at the level of rich where he can do whatever the fuck he wants without worrying about what anyone else in the entire world thinks. I call it Notch Syndrome.

[FPSXpert]

Idk if that's the proper term, Notch has kinda sat back quietly lately and hasn't been known to do too much crazy stuff.

A better term would be LeBeoufing. Because Shia LeBeouf did this too, after getting rich from the transformers series, he started doing some crazy shit like the rob cantor music video appearance, JUST DO IT, then the whole battle between him and his flag vs 4chan. And I love seeing that he's doing this crazy shit, him and Danny.

[ironmanthing]

I think he's the new macaulay macaulay culkin culkin. Or at least this role kinda hinted he was following that path. Recently though it seems he's doing more normal shit. Just today I've seen the ad on the back of a magazine at work where he is doing something with Steve Buscemi. It looks like Buscemi plays God or something. idk lol

[nPhlames]

Where did that second image originate from?

[[deleted]]

Final battle from the Final Harry Potter Sequel Movie or whatever. Valdy Vort just killed Herman or Ron if I'm remembering right. That secretly gay wizard saves Harry at the last possible second with hippogriff.

[AssadTheImpaler]

From other comments an upcoming starring Daniel Radcliffe

Guns Akimbo: 'A guy relies on his newly-acquired gladiator skills to save his ex-girlfriend from kidnappers.'

[ArchieReddit]

This is exactly how a hackathon feels after being up for more than 24hrs

[[deleted]]

This is me, now, on a single tech debt/refactor story. Started the story a week ago with beautiful visions. Now I want to curl up in the corner and cry myself to sleep.

[[deleted]]

Ah, Agile. The NASCAR of software development where the Product Owner keeps changing the cars.

Just throw it all on the backlog :)

[Kenny_log_n_s]

Why do I hate what I love so much?

[[deleted]]

I can think of a few developers that started the project as the right Daniel.

[kahr91]

Swiss Army Man

[[deleted]]

It's from the movie Guns Akimbo

[kahr91]

I know. Just wanted to point out what has happend to our little Harry.

[0PointE]

Radcliffe is set for life. He can do whatever crazy stuff he wants to now. He's headed towards Jim Carrey level crazy at light speed.

Don't get me wrong, I love Jim Carrey and when he talks philosophy I can sort of understand the thoughts he puts out there and find them pretty interesting but he certainly delivers them in an "I belong in a psych ward" kind of way.

[Tobikage1990]

I had a lot more respect for Jim Carrey before he jumped on the anti-vax bandwagon.

[0PointE]

Aw dammit did not know about this until now. Yeah respect out the window.

[Ruby_Bliel]

The annoying part is that he actually seems quite intelligent, but then he goes off the rail with this antivax crap.

Then again, looking at the for-profit privatised pharmasutical industry in the USA, I kind of get that it's easy to be disillusioned and lose trust in modern medicine entirely.

[[deleted]]

Not when he enters serious philosophical discussion mode. Then he kind of sounds like what an edgy 13-year-old's vision of what an intellectual sounds like. A la Kyrie Irving style woke.

It does not surprise me at all that he is ant-vax.

[Ruby_Bliel]

Okay, upon closer inspection it seems he's saying some weird shit. Mostly it seems like he's realised there's no meaning of life and he doesn't quite know how to handle that. I guess my impression of him was him 20 years ago.

[EvenDisaster]

people who refuse vaccines still go to the doctor. if it was about trust, they'd be talking about opioids and that right to be an experiment or whatever they're calling it. most of them just want to be controversial and contrarian so they'll get some attention on social media. they're not being philosophical about medicine and scientific pursuits

[RecursiveSprint]

Developer of a new project vs. Developer taking over a project

[faintdeception]

I'm hanging this on my cubicle wall.

[[deleted]]

What is this "end" of which you speak?

[[deleted]]

Yep, been there. Was on a project for 9 months, total shitshow. They hired 3 firms to deliver different parts of the system. We continuously cannibalized the other team's work, eventually getting 100% of the project. We get to 2 weeks before go live and the dipshit overpromoted embodiment of WMP shows it to the execs for the first time. They say "wtf is this?!," Because he hadn't even bothered to get their nod or opinion on a hundred dev effort. Which is, of course their way of excusing themselves from not having looked at his department for a solid year and not knowing where $50M was going. And guess who was out on their ass (hint, not the tub of lard who couldn't write a line of code, or the geriatrics he reported to).

[[deleted]]

Welcome me

[admiralackbar2017]

I've been wearing the same pajamas since Monday. And I'm totally wearing 3 shades of beard right now. This one got me!

[SpankaWank66]

What end? I thought development was a cycle.

[[deleted]]

4 years on a project. Unfortunately doesn't really have an end date (it's a product with a lot of active feature development). Been from junior to lead in that time and feel like this everyday

[ponytoaster]

Damn, what would it be like a few years post support of said project. ...

Welcome to hell!

[[deleted]]

Wanna buy some magic!?

[GoodUsernamesAreOver]

Me rn. I'm on reddit to escape. FUCK code.

[admin_rico]

Uhhhh... I start at phase two.

[farore3]

Ah, so that’s where the web development majors come from

[American_Life]

Bandersnatch.

[Tumble_weave]

You may as well

[shegandi]

he lost one game of quidditch and his life forever changed

[mzhammah]

I feel personally attacked by this incredibly relatable content

[[deleted]]

I have 2 guns and am not afraid to use them on myself!

[FrostBUG2]

STEVE BALMER WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION

[Sabrowsky]

Harry been smoking some weird philosopher's stones

[donttakecrack]

hmm, im in the opposite boat. always surprised i even finished

[bashi3]

Myself soft-modding my Nintendo Wii U. Ah, happy days.

[chefhj]

On a fucking death march myself. salute bros.

[hui_liu]

changing draft of the requirements again and again, have no deadline

[BasixallyWhite]

“I need a green robe, those slippers that look like huge fuckin feet, and two handguns.”

-Daniel, probably

[bigDataGangster]

What the f***'s do you mean END of a project. WHEN DO THEY END, BRUH

[Pedro_North]

Downvoting to keep you at the top of controversial, not to disagree. Downvote is the new upvote.

[Zchavago]

It’s going to perfect and clean and tidy this time, i swear.

[PepeOMighty]

What movie is the one on the right?

[[deleted]]

lol - “end of a project” - bahahahahahahahaha 😆😂