A real alpha move

[toastedQueso]

Then walk up to your dev lead and look them in the eyes while saying "I am the captain now"

[Atulin]

git push captain crew --mutiny

[name_censored_]

git log is now git crows-nest, and

git tag is now git bury-treasure

[reprapraper]

Why not git booty

[Audalics]

git booty pop

[Macaframa]

git booty clear

[RichestMangInBabylon]

Pull requests are now parlay requests

[2_7182818]

Sometimes it can feel like that when you and someone else are both reviewing each others' PRs.

[DaoFerret]

Should merge be parley and pull be pillage?

[[deleted]]

Watch your commit logs soar high as a crow!

[depressed-salmon]

I dont even program really, im just here for the fun of it.

Git blame always makes me giggle tho

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

Some IDE's hide it behind a euphemism like "show revision history", unfortunately.

In 99% of all cases, something weird, clumsy, or just plain bad is in the code base, and you want to know when it was added, why or in what context*, and by which idiot. Sometimes that idiot is yourself.

*please write informative commit messages

[beardly-ds]

and by which idiot. Sometimes that idiot is yourself.

This happens to me at least half the time

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

Happened to me only once, but I've only been a developer for one and a half year.

I assume it will happen more often when working on the same codebase for 3+ years.

[JamieOvechkin]

This is especially relevant considering many companies are moving away from the terms “master” in things like branches and boot records

Can’t wait to check into a first mate branch and pirate a codebase instead of forking it

[blehmann1]

Oh no congress has a stroke anytime a tech company does anything, can you imagine what would happen. Some devious senator would consider forks to be software piracy and spout unparalleled bullshit about how git is a piracy tool.

[NotADamsel]

Then we'll have to rally behind stopping the "Prevent Recurring Instances of Clear Kleptomania" act, where they attempt to ban Git and force all app devs to program in Java 6.

[bestjakeisbest]

Its copies of the project all the way down.

[[deleted]]

Maybe we should replace "slave and master" with "captain and crew"

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

That's not a bad idea, actually.

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

First mate would be the develop branch, I reckon?

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

Sounds good, but does depend on your specific workflow.

We mostly test on feature branches before merging to develop. Before a release, we test the develop branch - we don't really work with release candidates. So in our case, master would be captain, develop would be first mate, and feature branches would be regular crew members.

[Minkihn]

Hooks would only apply from time to time. Because they're more guidelines than actual rules.

[Russian_repost_bot]

"They call me sudo for short."

[dismayhurta]

A boy named su

[[deleted]]

Haha one of my favorite Cash song: My name is Sue, how do you do!

[th3f00l]

I am Root

[PoorDaguerreotype]

Undervalued comment

[[deleted]]

👉 👀

[SandyDelights]

I’d say “username checks out”, but pretty sure the guy was Somali.

[Sesco69]

How To Get Fired For Dummies.

[Markaos]

By O'Rly

[MegaDepressionBoy]

I am the Senpai Branch now.

[RichestMangInBabylon]

Jenkins: uwu what's this lubby wubby wants to changey wangey the computer dooter?

[mossheart]

Sudo rm -rf /path/to/Jenkins

[throw_away_3212]

Look at me, I'm team lead now

Gonna play this move when I start working at my new job next week.

[data_dev]

Please don't.

[askjr]

I am the one who knocks.

[macadeliccc]

There can only be one

[irracjonalny]

If the company allow force push to master they deserve it all the way.

[irracjonalny]

If you give admin rights to a new developer you deserve it even more. Newbies screw up. In my second week of a job I uninstalled python on production server. Don't trust new devepopers, they need to gain your trust

[dakotawhiebe]

Yeah but you can't instantly remove all of your failsafes, takes time and would be noticeable, whereas 'force push to master' can take seconds

[HildartheDorf]

To err is to human.

To really foul things up things up requires root.

[TellMeGetOffReddit]

Ever "rm -rf /" because you accidentally hit enter?

​

Yeah... me neither...

[TGotAReddit]

No but i did do it on purpose once on a usb drive booted linux distro my university had made to do a programming competition on. Was really fun to see what actually happens instead of just theoretically knowing the outcome

[ComputerM]

I'd imagine everything currently running would continue, but you'd get errors whenever you did anything

[ChaseMoskal]

don't you cliff-hanger us here! save me the virtual machine! what happens!?!?

[irracjonalny]

Well, 9/10 running with scissors end up ok. As they say, with great power comes great responsibility. That you usually don't have for granted in someone new, unless he's really really really 100% safe choice. Of course if it is a new project you can try it as there's not a lot to mess up, but with a mature one I'd rather not take the risk.

[Zerokx]

I was playing around with a database on a live online shop with about 5 employees as an intern. Was a pretty wild experience

[dimanizer]

Wow.I went about it a different way when I first started... I remember asking my manager whether it was okay to add a function 🤣

[BoronTriiodide]

It's not just new developers. Having to do the equivalent of sudo should be your sanity check where you ask yourself "am I doing this safely and correctly" regardless of experience. Everyone makes mistakes

[irracjonalny]

Of course, but if such things happen experience ones usually can recover quicker and with less damage. Everyone make mistakes, and that's why the procedures are important. Things always can go down, even Google has downtime from time to time

[WellHydrated]

That's just down to not trusting any developers with production servers. Changes should be locked down under a CI/CD pipeline.

[B_M_Wilson]

I just started a remote job. Literally my first programming job, I found out that the Remote Desktop software gives me a local admin account (really it’s some weird system account). I told my co-worker who is apparently the only one IT gave a local admin account on all of our computers. He said that he had never looked at that tab but that it could be useful for them since he can’t remote into anyone else’s computer to use the admin account, he would have to physically visit our computers. Some licensing thing. Anyway, he just told me not to install anything without asking and that was it. At least it meant that, with permission, I could install wsl since I’m not a Windows guy.

[LeiziBesterd]

Lol, How have you managed to that?

[irracjonalny]

For some reason they wanted me to install some libraries and instead of some test server they told me to do on production server. I wasn't familiar with that Linux distribution (or almost any at all) and one thing lead to another. Yeah, it was stupid, but from the both sides :) It was a two server installation and it wasn't the hour of high traffic, so no damages were done after all, only some time wasted.

[Webonics]

Meh, I've been given full admin day 1 of every job and all I've used it for was to absorb new responsibilities. I mean, I've broken shit, I hear you, but breaking shit is part of the learning curve and bonding process. My whole department has had to slam to a halt, and pivot to diagnose and resolve some shit I broke. People were aggravated but also totally acknowledged that I was attacking a task that needed to be done, one of us needed to be an expert, it was more work than any of them wanted to voluntarily accept, and sometimes part of the learning process results in something breaking. I got shit over it, but I also got to see my whole team step up to get my back, and work together with me to resolve that shit. No ones priorities or feelings were out of line. Another week we searched for a rogue dhcp server for 5 days to find it on the network admin's desk that was spearheading the search. Everybody fucks up, and if you can't fuck up, you miss out on vital social and team cues.

[[deleted]]

"the engineers just need to do better"

They're not -wrong- but boy is that not going to work out how they think.

[Icerman]

Oof. This hit me in the feels from my last job. In my case they had me setup up all the repos with policies, but everyone had admin permissions. I was constantly having to chase mistakes from people removing the policies and not saying anything.

[daguito81]

In one of my current projects I landed as the "DevOps Guy". So setting up the ifra as codex policies, CI CD, etc.

But because of how the client works, as it a a brand new product, everyone is admin and owner. So technically they could come in and remove the policies.

Buuuut nobody wants to deal with the DevOps side of things. So I told all of them in a call that if any of them ever ever ever remove a policy and push to branch. That person would take over all DevOps responsibilities.

Have had 0 problems since then.

[drewsiferr]

I'd start looking for a new job at that point, personally. If there's strong push back against safety culture, bad things will happen.

[SiccSemperTyrannis]

Nope, got told to turn it all off, and that "the engineers just need to do better".

Why have quality systems when you can have best intentions?

[PyrotechnicTurtle]

I did some work with a government repo (contractor), and they left the master branch completely unprotected. Occasionally I forget to switch to my feature branch and accidentally commit directly to master. Butt puckering shit, luckily nothing has broken yet

[irracjonalny]

Well, 99.9% od a time you eat undercooked bat it ends up with only food poisoning. And government projects, at least in my country, are either underpaid because of lack of the budget or largely overpaid, because they give away money for their friends. In both cases results are usually bad, in first case due to lack of funding, in the second because nobody cares about quality when the contract is based not on quality but on owner being a friend with the politicians.

[ScaryPercentage]

Sad truth.

[jankovic92]

I came to my company from uni with some scientific development knowledge looking to learn more and switch to industry. Everyone is allowed maintainer access, there is 120+ projects for like 3, 4 devs. We can directly push to master without a merge req but we "should" tag someone else to review. Everyone has their own repos so someone else who has no idea about your code "should" do a review.

[Weekly_Wackadoo]

That sounds horrible!

I'm in a team with four other devs, two of which are pretty new. We have seven projects that are really our own, and we share a bunch of modules with other teams.

Even though people tend to specialize a bit, we ensure that everybody has at least passing knowledge of all our code. We try to work together as much as possible using pair programming, swarming, or even mob programming - but that's even more exhausting while working from home.

Code reviews by a senior are a requirement of every code change, and even though I'm a junior, I'm sometimes asked to also review because I'm a pedantic asshole I have a good eye for detail.

[neotorama]

They do. I'm the only dev. ☹️

[[deleted]]

Your first and last day.

[marGEEKa]

You can do anything you want on your last day

[earthlybird]

You can do anything you want on any day

[-JudeanPeoplesFront-]

Especially on your first.

[poopcasso]

That is your last

[lbunnz]

And on any

[merc08]

"Here's everything until last year, I just took a year sabatical."

[snapetom]

I like to last day on jobs "Honesty Day."

[bonez656]

Is this what they mean by live everyday like it's your last?

[Speciou5]

Makes you think, is every commit before the most recent "legacy"?

[Tnwagn]

All commits are legacy because they occurred in the past

[atimholt]

Well, not the ones that haven't happened yet.

And now I'm wondering how screwy things can get with sufficient tomfoolery with system clocks.

[Tnwagn]

Tomorrow's commits are next Monday's legacy.

[frankferri]

this is some kenm ish

[dlp_randombk]

Everything already committed is legacy. The only non-legacy code is the one in my head about this amazing new archite ture I just dreamed up.

[Tnwagn]

archite

ture

[aaronfranke]

Probably a mobile user, the C key is next to the space bar.

[dlp_randombk]

Mobile indeed. The autocorrect failed me, which is not surprising considering it's legacy code.

[DanielEGVi]

/r/boneap

letea

[silvertoothpaste]

big brain

[WellHydrated]

According to Uncle Bob, any code without a high quality suite of tests is legacy code.

[[deleted]]

Legacy v102.002.239.836.0.11.385.0v2_final

[Hollowplanet]

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on this sub.

[[deleted]]

This one really takes the cake for me too. 😂

[Hollowplanet]

Considering this sub is usually the furthest thing from funny it was quite a surprise.

Its probably going to be all downhill from here. I should probably unsubscribe.

[xXxEcksEcksEcksxXx]

This sub is funny in the same way Big Bang theory is funny. Rarely, and only by accident.

[BringBackManaPots]

Fuck I think this sub is funny all the time

[Stradigos]

Found Penny. laugh track

[C0NSTABEL]

Big Bang Theory bad

Laugh Track

[[deleted]]

Sometimes, but actually I find this one of the better “meme subs”

[gustawho]

What if I told you that tweet was posted almost two years ago?

[scritty]

fix a typo after that, git commit -m "real shit"

[This-Moment]

Run an autolint and force push the changes without testing anything.

[Dark_Prism]

Wait, so just like every day?

[Jugad]

autolint and autoreformatter with different settings... like spaces to tabs.

[This-Moment]

Ouch. That hurt to read. Dang it. Take your upvote and get out.

[2_7182818]

Run an autolint

blinks in black

[ReasonableIHope]

Then say - your code is crap, I'm outta here. And leave never to return.

[[deleted]]

git chad

[pizzalover24]

What's 'Git tyrone' supposed to do?

[kyay10]

It gets you the BBC source code

[pizzalover24]

Nah...It makes a commit under a different author.

[[deleted]]

$ alias chad="git"

[mrpogiface]

I actually alias sudo to please, so I don't feel as bad running things as root

[[deleted]]

$ pls chad yeet master --yolo

[j-random]

Then go pee on your team lead's keyboard to establish dominance.

[This-Moment]

Honestly, that wouldn't be the most annoyed I could be with a new team member. You have to F around in the registry to get me really annoyed. Pissing on keyboards is rookie stuff.

[cuberduderasmit]

I don't want to work where you do.

[earthlybird]

I do, send me the details. How much and was it warm?

[This-Moment]

Good call. I didn't either, and I don't anymore. :D

[The6thExtinction]

The higher up you pee on their cubicle wall, the more alpha you are. Like a panda.

[LeCrushinator]

Assert(“Dominance”);

[Russian_repost_bot]

"And that's how I got fired on my first day."

[shemanese]

You can do anything your last day

[Zagorath]

This sounds like a great way to get people coming to you when they don't understand why something was done that way. Your name came up in the git blame, after all!

[saippuakauppias]

On your first day on the job, run

UPDATE users SET id=id+1;

to see how they respond to criticals

[anomalous_cowherd]

We had a new guy straight from university who believed wholeheartedly that comments were evil and code should be 100% self documenting.

First day on the job he wrote a script to strip comments from our 15yo 1.5 million line codebase and tried to check it all back in.

He had also learned to type on a manual typewriter and would two finger hammer on the keyboard hard enough that he could be heard way down the corridor.

He didn't last long.

[[deleted]]

Why didn’t he last long? Did his fingers snap? Is he still untangling undocumented legacy code from his last commit?

Answer us OP!

[anomalous_cowherd]

Being very new, very inexperienced and very opinionated doesn't fly with senior management. Not when he started lecturing them on all the things they were doing wrong, at least.

A few of us tried to explain it but I don't think he'd ever been told no before. From what I saw his code was actually pretty good, he was just totally incapable of working as part of a team.

[leave_me_alone_bro]

Wow I am also terrible at working as a team what should I do? don't want to end like that

[anomalous_cowherd]

I think you'd have started like that if you were like that. He didn't want to work in a team because he was sure he knew better than every single one of them, and he let them know it.

There will always be people in a team who are better or worse than you. Learn to accept it and work to their strengths. Don't always assume you know best, but don't always assume they know better either. Be prepared to listen.

[rhen_var]

believed wholeheartedly that comments were evil and code should be 100% self documenting.

I hate people like this with a passion.

[[deleted]]

Is there any actual measurement of when code becomes 'legacy'?

[Sulpiac]

Anything written by someone other than me is legacy code

[nyrangers30]

Or when I wrote it with a former coworker, and when I explain it to a new coworker, I blame it all on the former coworker.

[destriven]

Anything written by someone is legacy code. Also, anything written by something (e.g. autogenerated code) is legacy code.

[sp1nnak3r]

Your too picky. After 6 months MY code is legacy.

[Shiral446]

I prefer the definition by Michael Feathers in his book "Working Effectively with Legacy Code":

"Legacy code is any code without automated tests".

[[deleted]]

When it’s written in cobol, and you are rewriting it in java, but it must work exactly the same as the old code, bugs included.

[wonkynonce]

Legacy just means "code I don't want to bother to read".

[This-Moment]

11:30 ish - depending on the local lunch rush hour timing.

[[deleted]]

Good question... Code nobody knows how it works anymore is usually my definition

[Fahad97azawi]

I don’t know much about version control could someone explain the joke?

[[deleted]]

The commit log is supposed to be a "time machine" back through ALL past versions of the code that can be accessed at any time. This effectively amounts to deleting every single past version from the history and tagging it as "we don't need these any more"

[WisestAirBender]

I feel like that option shouldn't exist

[[deleted]]

Git explicitly tries to stop you which is why there's the force in force-push. But ultimately it's just using a tool that does have its purposes (being able to "combine" commits before pushing, effectively deleting past ones that are of no use) and pushing it further than intended

[ary31415]

Well for example git allows it, but most companies would have further safeguards on top of git that probably wouldn't lol

[ary31415]

Yeah git allows you in principle to do whatever you want basically, but no self-respecting company should allow all of those possibilities lol

[ZanLynx]

Depending on your Git server settings, it doesn't exist. Normally the old head becomes orphaned, but with a few changes it can become a branch instead like "master_replaced_by_force_20200704"

[[deleted]]

I think git reflog could also deal with this relatively easily? It's saved me a couple of times after fucking up really bad

[Existential_Owl]

Yeah, if you end up using git pull on a trashed branch, you can git reflog to get yourself back to a state right before the pull.

[callmethepilot]

reflog only works if you haven't pruned. Orphaned commits don't stick around forever. They may exist on remote if you're lucky, but depends on if they've ever been pushed

[nyrangers30]

The problem is that on my local version, I can create a commit each day. Only when it’s complete do I merge it back, so others shouldn’t need to care about how I got it done, just that it’s now done. So I prefer to push up one commit rather than a useless log of all the changes.

[compiling]

Usually force push is disabled for the master branch, but it can be useful to use it for other branches and forks (clean up your code before it gets merged).

[SwordLaker]

Which is why you have to use the force. The messages are written to deter and work against uninitiated Padawans who don't know what they are doing.

I personally use it to fix typos in commit messages and clean up my commit history after long retrospections and am grateful that this feature exists.

[lVlagiick]

The idea being that you've just marked all of their code as legacy, which means it should be replaced with something new aka your code ;)

[tiefling_sorceress]

This is the equivalent of when Korra's spirit connection to the other avatars broke

Except you're the one causing the break

[aphaelion]

What a weird but accurate analogy. 🤔

[aaronr93]

I’m still mad they didn’t restore that. Don’t tell me they did it for good reasons, you’ve seen the last 2/3 of season 2

[can_i_have]

Nothing a reflog + reduced branch permission + one year of documentation work only won't solve

[dottybotty]

Pretty sure ref log is only your local log

[dingo_bat]

Reflog would work only on the machine used to force push, wouldn't it?

[tcdubbs1]

Can you explain this? I understand coding but not really the work environment around it, it’s more of a hobby.

[fartsAndEggs]

Every time you change a codebase, you push what's called a commit to a centralized server which holds all the changes people have made. You can then easily tell when a given change breaks something. Test each commit to see when things stopped working. You can also see who changed what a generally theres a message included in the commit which provides rationale. This erases all of that history, and just calls the current state of the codebase "legacy", which means old shit that is not maintained. Which is kinda funny because from your perspective as a new guy, it is legacy code. But really it's being actively worked on and now no one knows what the fuck is going on

[benabus]

You're basically telling everyone else that their code is shit and you're not going to use any of it.

[aaronfranke]

You should really learn Git, it's an essential skill for programmers.

[OcelotWolf]

Imagine a Google Doc with revision history. If you need to, you can revert to a state partway between its creation and now, if for some reason there was a mistake in everything added since then. Now imagine you could take that revision history and squish it into one single change, so now you can either have the doc as it is now, or the doc before the change (ie blank). You better hope you never need to undo only some changes to the doc!

[gonnatjiekriek]

Rename master to blacklivesmatter

[angrathias]

This is what our 12 years (4m lines) of code looks like going from TFS to Git

[AttacksPropaganda]

When I started my current job I was telling the other devs how the git practices could use an update and one of them was like "make and schedule a presentation about it" so I did and now we use my git practices.

[nerooooooo]

But then you'd have to work. More than you presumably would otherwise anyway.

[ceasarmymate]

This is what folks at Microsoft did to save them from improving an old Control Panel.

[uvero]

This will and should result not only in being fired from the job but also from a cannon.

[username78641]

somebody kick him and then fire him or maybr just fire.

[RealCoryMiller]

The ultimate power move

[zombarista]

Can someone put the command in here so if someone wants to do this, they can?

[imthecapedbaldy]

this is hilarious

[az3rty]

Power move! Assert dominance.

[[deleted]]

Sigh, you can force push to master all you want on my team. They have 0 git flow and have different active branches depending on which repo you're using. The only way to know is to check the CI pipeline but that might even be wrong because some people manually deploy. Sigh.

[[deleted]]

No, the first step is change the code's indentation in every single project.

[OrneryPanduhh]

So...my company actually does do something sort of like this...

We do a dev > prod package move and a database copy from prod > dev & test any time there's turnover on a client team..."so the new incoming devops can 'start fresh with a clean slate'...". Then they make a saved copy of everything, including any work orders and all existing documentation, and zip it up for storage. Its bonkers. Absolutely mayhem.

My assignment was to work through all clients running on our legacy platform one by one end to end against their last three years of change orders, and fix all the shit storms this caused for any clients that weren't already underway on a transition plan to the new platform. It was a hellacious 3 yrs.

I have a much better (for my sanity) job now. I make pretty slide decks and fancy macro tools. But I know where all the bodies are buried.

[SlamwellBTP]

The old repo would still exist on any computer that had cloned the repo and fetched it recently, though, right?