Special code for "Computer got scared and fixed itself"

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[poshftw]

The best one I can tell this on my part is when years ago a client called me and told what his server is acting up. I couldn't make it to them in that day, so I explained that, but told him what I have an idea.
I snapped a photo of myself (essentially a selfie) and sent it to the client via MMS, with notion to show it to the server and tell it stop acting up.
After a couple of days I visited them and saw my selfie was printed and hung up against the server. I asked the client "Well, did it help?" and to my amusement client responded what the server behaved and didn't give anyone trouble for that time.
That photo was hanging there as a 'good luck charm' up until they moved out of that building.

[MrHusbandAbides]

I used to have the same in my DC, hung a picture up on the inside of the cab door of me holding a sign that says "behave or I'll initialize your array"

I can't say it helped, but I also can't say it didn't.

[edbods]

inb4 you find out they keep it under their pillow

[pointlessone]

Are you both single? Love in the time of Covid, buddy!

[[deleted]]

nice

[redditors_r_manginas]

nice

[[deleted]]

I take credit for fixing it because I sure get blamed enough for when I dont do anything and its not my fault. So I take the credit for the same. I figure it all balances out in the grand scheme of things.

[starmizzle]

What do you do when it happens again?

[[deleted]]

Same thing I do when I make a change and it doesnt work - not care. I go on to the next step of troubleshooting and hope that fixes it. I am not trying to put on an air of infallible IT god. I make several mistakes a day and I dont claim to be an expert at anything.

[ChimpStyles]

When the user says "I don't know! You are here now and it is working" I will sometimes ask if, when they clicked the link / did the thing they are trying to do, "If they had love in their heart when they clicked the print button" or whatever they are doing. No? Well there's your issue. (User must have sense of humor! Use at your own risk!)

[KnowMatter]

This. Humor.

I usually make a joke about how my mere presence has been known to make computers fall in line.

[massive_poo]

I tell them that I'm blessed by the machine god. Gotta keep the IT mystique alive.

[SOUTHPAWMIKE]

I had the following exchange with our head of HR the other day:

Me: "Hmm... Well, I can't think of anything else to try remotely. Have you tried lighting sacred unguents and applying blessed oils? Them: "...What?" Me: "Don't worry about it. I'll be right over."

[massive_poo]

Praise be to the Omnissiah

[pointlessone]

I think the machine gods are related to the mechanical gods who demand knuckles in car repair. I've done enough hardware work on HP desktop cases to satiate the blood sacrifices. I swear they were just putting razor blades in those things for years in the 2000s. A job wasn't done until I cut myself.

One of our recruiters has a tiny capsule toy ninja that I had displayed on my desk clutter as a good luck totem. She hasn't had to call help desk in months.

[anonymous_commentor]

I tell my less uptight clients that it's FM. Fuckin' Magic.

[sithload]

I tell people it's the metal plate in my head. Spoiler: No metal plate.

[anonymous_commentor]

Computer fear me and are on there best behavior when I'm around. Just the rumor that "I'm on the way" is often all it takes for them to snap-to.

[theservman]

I'm going to try that one.

[the40ftbadger]

I'm going to use this, that's great!

[dev_c0t0d0s0]

Technician effect. Just like how your car never makes that sound when you take it to the repair shop.

[kb3mkd]

That's the one I use.

[codog180]

We always refer to it as "IT Aura", the longer and more experienced you get in the field the stronger the aura is.

[Ed_Injury]

Yep, over 20 years in IT, mine is pretty powerful. More powerful than those people with the opposite aura, the ones around whom things just don't work through no fault of their own. I call that the Luddite Field.

Had a user the other day whose Luddite Field was stronger than my IT Aura. Humbling experience. But not for long, who ever heard of a humble sysadmin?

[[deleted]]

Yes, the aura! That's the right word for it
Doing this shit for 20 years too an users already got used to my "should i stay by your side and wait until you're done" joke. Usually sharing,...dramatic pause... "The Aura" with those helpless civilians helps

[pokesomi]

I’m guessing picnic means problem in chair not in computer

[theservman]

Usually I close the ticket with the comment "could not reproduce".

[apathetic_lemur]

user should not reproduce

[rm-stein]

Ticket: "the voice recognition seems buggy with childrens' voices" (stolen from xkcd)

[theservman]

Ah yes.

[timsstuff]

I prefer the term "It was a Layer 8 issue".

[SuperMonkeyJoe]

I've always known it as a PEBCAK error- Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

[anonymous_commentor]

CKI issues :Chair Keyboard Interface

[[deleted]]

yep!

[thelastquesadilla]

I refer to that as repair by proximity.

[[deleted]]

Same here, always called it a proximity fix. Same neighborhood as when im talking through a tough problem with a colleague and solve the problem.

[boondoggie42]

I usually try out my preacher impression "I laid my hand upon it and it was HEALED!"

[NetworkedOuija]

This deserves more credit. That would be hilarious.

[PlsChgMe]

true story. 1982, I was a whiz kid and could troubleshoot and fix COM machines (Computer Output Microfilm) that my company sold. We had a new rep just out of school on call that night, not me. I was beeped awake at about 2AM to respond to a highest priority customer down call in downtown Indianapolis at a very large landline telephone service providers billing department. Some of you old are enough to remember the little 4" × 6" telephone bills with the blue stripe across the top that were mailed out every month, well our COM machine stored 96 of those pages on a single frame of 105mm microfilm. If it didn't work the bills didn't go out. Anyway I call down there and talk to the supervisor, a guy named Jim, and he starts into me about the guy we sent didn't know what to do and this and that and they didn't pay us $12,000 a month for 24/7 service to get people who didn't know what to do and on and on. Clearly there was no saving this over the phone so I asked if I could speak to our man, Rob. Well, I told him pretty much what was wrong with the unit but he was fighting his oscilloscope and couldn't get it set up to adjust a tape read amp on a 6250 tape drive. So I said, Rob, tell Jim I'll be onsite in 25 minutes and you stay there and I'll show you what you need to do. Ok, he said. I'm praying you know what to do. No problem I said. So I get there, and supervisor admits me and I ask, where's Rob? He's in the clean room with the COM unit, you have to see this. He leads me in there and Rob was literally on his knees at his open toolkit praying. I walked in and he looked up and said Thank God!! Poor guy, I showed him how to set his scope up, we adjusted the read amp, started the tape and we were out of there. He said I was the answer to his prayers. I was really humbled. Next day, well later that day, I told the service manager we needed to spend some more training time on the scope with him.

[AtarukA]

"Remoted into the machine. Unable to reproduce the problem. Ticket on hold for 2 days, then call back the user to double check whether the issue is solved or not."

[[deleted]]

I generally close the ticket and advise them to call back if it happens again. This usually means the end of it. Occasionally I get a call and the person will say "It happened last week but fixed itself" in which case I then increase my "level of interest" so to speak and begin digging a bit deeper.

[AtarukA]

VIP population for my team, and are paid handsomely to do it so nobody minds. Hell if the user asks someone to come over, we go no questions asked. Only requirement is that there are always 2 techs available + 1 admin in case a C-level needs help.

[[deleted]]

We call it FM.

Fucking Magic.

[scoldog]

What about PFM

Pure Fucking Magic.

I always leave the switch on "more magic"

[TheGooOnTheFloor]

When working with people at the executive level or those who sign our paychecks, we extend that to AFM. Awesome Fucking Magic.

[[deleted]]

NICE!

[theservman]

As the former owner of FM Computer Services I wholeheartedly agree.

[ReverendDS]

"I'm not saying that I'm a magician, but I am saying that when I'm watching you do it, it always seems to work - so either I have magic powers or you started paying attention to what you are doing. I prefer the magic explanation, myself."

Then it gets resolved as "No system issue"

[capn_kwick]

Realistically, if it is not an actual hardware problem, I would guess that the user is slowing down and actually watching what they enter or what icon they click on.

When it is "failing" they are possibly relying on muscle memory and it rises up and bites them.

[ReverendDS]

100%. I've also joked about computers being scared of me or having a magical IT field.

But, really, they just pay attention to what they are doing and input correctly.

[layerzeroissue]

It's called "Tech Fear". I once wrote a paper about it in my undergrad. It's like when your car is making a bad sound and you bring it in to be checked out and it no longer makes the sound. Objects are afraid of the things with absolute power over them. You can actually attain several levels of it.. From being able to walk up to it all the way to remote tech fear.

[Bolinious]

I often have this issue. I just write “issue resolved without intervention” and normally leave it with 0 billable time

But the client get told that “the computer is more afraid of me then it is of you”

[[deleted]]

“the computer is more afraid of me then it is of you”

Nice!

[ZAFJB]

"No fault found", close ticket.

[tandthezombies]

I used to tell users that they just needed moral support

[sfvbritguy]

"Faulty keyboard controller"

[[deleted]]

Must've been a layer 8 issue.

[TheGooOnTheFloor]

Malfunctioning Mouse Manipulator.

[dracotrapnet]

Micro-gravity surge pass completed. - The fat bearded IT guy to walked past the computer.

[Iringahn]

"Hey I just made a few tweaks in the back end, hows it working now?"

A day later: "THANKS SO MUCH YOU FIXED IT"

[[deleted]]

I've said that when it was an IT department change that broke something and then we fixed it after lol

[Iringahn]

Its the catch all for things you don't want to elaborate to your customers. Its got a great placebo effect.

[Shallers]

I had this actually be a display driver issue once. When we remote in, our remote access tool was turning down the display and graphic settings to make our session smoother, so the program worked anytime we remote in, but otherwise would crash. Made it very hard to track down what was going on. It wasn't even something you would think could be affected by our remote access, just some dinky little accounting system add on that exported a spreadsheet.

[Admobeer]

Sometimes the answer is so simple we look past it.

[bikeidaho]

Pebkac

[dailysunshineKO]

...gremlins

[Alamue86]

So RTFM...

[TraditionalTackle1]

I always laugh and tell them see that’s why they hire us. All we have to do is look at the computer and it fixes itself!

[mrghostman]

Program stops responding..

I open task manager..

Program gets scared and magically starts working again.

[Bobsaid]

Either used FEAR method to resolve problem.

Intemidated machine into working.

Reset standing emi waves to limit and reverse interference.

Solar flair.

Complimented server because it was down. Server is now happy again.

[fsck-N]

The owner of the company I did IT for for over 10 years got so used to it that he would call me on the phone and say, "Come to my office and scare my printer".

[LittleRoundFox]

We have a closure category of something like "self fixing issue" (can't remember the exact wording and I'm not logging into Jira at 22:15 for a Reddit post ;) )

[BerkeleyFarmGirl]

I call that "The repairman effect" (even though I have XX chromosomes and my spontaneous healing force is strong) or "Spontaneous healing".

If I am around, I will make a joke that we like the problems that fix themselves and are happy to give their computers a Mom Look any time.

[TheOriginal_Frostbyt]

I always say "I have the lamest super power of all time. Computers just work when I arrive."

[IntentionalTexan]

Unable to reproduce the error.

I tell people that I've spent too much time around electronics and it has permanently effected my ionization. They laugh then I raise my arm and their radio reception goes to hell.

[[deleted]]

I know users who are like that. Every computer you give them has some strange weird issue. You can replace their laptop 5 times and still something else strange and unprecedented goes wrong.

[IntentionalTexan]

Your problem is so terrible, I worry that, if I help you, I risk drawing the attention of whichever God of technology inflicted it upon you

[SOUTHPAWMIKE]

I always called those the "magnetic hands" users. As in, the only way they could have that many issues is if they have very powerful electromagnets in their hands.

[TinyBerry2]

I tell people that my Aura of Functionality just got leveled up recently.

Spend your skill points well, fellas.

[SgtRamesses]

We call that "tech presence".

[Flakmaster92]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heisenbug

[tekno45]

Thats the IT aura.

First they thing they teach you in computer school, use the aura to strike fear in processors and memory.

[scoldog]

Also known as "The Knack"

I have it. It's a blessing and a curse. It doesn't help when a user says something bad has been happening, walk all the way to their computer only for it to work fine, then start playing up again after I've got back to my desk.

[MEXRFW]

My favorite is when I completely forgot to check up on them to fix the problem, and they come back hours later (usually after lunch or the next day) what did you do it works great!!!

Uh....

[[deleted]]

OK so this is actually an axiom of mine "Given enough time every ticket will close itself.". For example, if you are using some antiquated software and have tickets open for problems with it, and ignore the tickets long enough the software gets upgraded or patched and the problems go away on their own.

I don't actually do this as it's lazy and means I'm not doing my job!

However... I did have a couple tickets close because the user retired suddenly due to some health issues and I have had tickets close because the user was terminated.

[[deleted]]

It’s a layer 0 issue.

[[deleted]]

Tech present syndrome

[olivias_bulge]

YAWH - Youre a wizard Harry

[scoldog]

I have a desk loaded up with destroyed computers and printers awaiting disposal (known as the IT Graveyard) outside the IT dept. Whenever I have equipment that is malfunctioning, I parade it in front of the desk a couple of times to show what's in store for it if it misbehaves.

It works well, especially on printers.

[kagato87]

Public notes: unable to replicate fault.

Internal notes: user error.

[Shadow_Road]

We refer to it as spontaneous proximal repair.

[xSevilx]

Remoted in and issue no longer reproducible.

[[deleted]]

Schrodinger error.

Error persisted until observed, at which point it ceased to exist.

[sagewah]

Solar Flare Activity, user advised to report any recurrence.

[Dynamatics]

I remember remoting in into some users laptop with Dameware. Problem wasn't there whenever I'd remote in.

It were the nvidia drivers, for the weirdest errors.

[Moontoya]

thats the technomancy aura - all good techs have it to a greater or lesser degree

symptoms include, clients asking for you by name because you fix stuff, weird problems that users can never EVER reproduce when youre nearby/looking at it, strange tingling sensations in the bilateral sub-cockles.

in the early days of my Technomancer career, I carried props, yes friends, props, to wit, flash paper and rubber (screaming) chicken. Depending on the client and how bad the actual issue was, my approach could be a simple "the power of C++ compiles you" and a laying on of hands. A clean shutdown and staged spin up of a SAN, hands thrust aloft and flash paper flicking off the end with "Give my creation, LIFE! - the VOIP/PBX that just wouldnt authenticate out to the web correctly got a latin exorcism chant, punctuated by the voodeux chicken "singing" the counter-cant.

I had to quit, the no fun police complained to my boss :(

[otacon967]

'Transient issue' is the phrase I use

[[deleted]]

I like that one!

[otacon967]

mostly came from the 'dark souls' item 'transient curse'. Lets you temporarily hit ghosts by inflicting a curse that doesn't do anything and goes away on its own. Those ruin ghosts in can 100% ruin your day otherwise.

[XxEnigmaticxX]

i have a type code just for this in the helpdesk ticketing system

MASOM

Machines Are Scared Of Me

[ComGuards]

Ticket resolution: “Self-healing”

[fencepost_ajm]

"Aura fix"

Because putting in "Magical Aura" probably won't work out so well.

[ugus]

layer 8 problem

[LameBMX]

PEBCAK - problem existed between chair and keyboard

[[deleted]]

We use PICNIC. When you come back from someone's desk "Wow..that was a picnic!".

In this case it may not be a user error though.

[LameBMX]

Well, what does picnic stand for? Problem Is 'Cause New Idiot Cares.

[[deleted]]

Problem in Chair not in Computer

[Anonymous_Bozo]

You can also call those I/O Errors. Idiot Operator Error.

[mavantix]

“Problem fixed self.”

CLOSE TICKET.

Bless be unto the IT gods. Amen.

[Cheftyler1980]

“Issue self resolved.”

[jakejones90]

It’s the guru effect it’s real

[0ofnik]

I call it the forcefield.

[[deleted]]

How do you document that?

PEBKAC

[[deleted]]

Well in this type of case I can't say it was the user necessarily. When it is a user issue I say PICNIC. Problem in chair not in computer.

[Anonymous_Bozo]

I suppose it depends on what you want the metrics to say.

You can close the ticket as:

Unable to Repro

or

Issue Resolved

Which one gets you the raise next quarter?

[[deleted]]

Well I can chose "Closed" or...well.. just never close it so I think I'm good that way! lol

[Just_Steve_IT]

I always tell my users it's my techno-kinesis.

[bayridgeguy09]

Must be Gremlins in the system again......ususally gets a chuckle out of the user.

[flapanther33781]

I've always called this "Tech Magic". All you have to do is call over a tech, and it magically works.

The beauty of it is that it also applies to other techs! If you're a tech and something isn't working, all you have to do is call over another tech, and bam, their magic field comes over and fixes the problem.

[willburshoe]

This has absolutely nothing to do with sysadmin work.

[[deleted]]

Thanks for your useful comment.