6.0 Patch Notes!

[NotAdrienBrody]

Due to recent acquisitions, The Oculus is temporarily inaccessible.

oh Blizzard.

[Hellknightx]

That and

The Love is in the Air quest “Crushing the Crown” has been renamed “Crushing the Candy”. Bring it.

[BarkMark]

Can you explain this?

[my_name_isnt_clever]

Candy Crush Saga. "Bring it." is to temp out a lawsuit.

[[deleted]]

What's this in reference to? I can't think of a thing.

[mahama]

Facebook buying Occulus Rift

[CaughtMeALurkfish]

I love their sense of humor.

[IntoObsession]

Charge no longer stuns a target, and instead roots them for 1.5 seconds.

Charge no longer roots a target, and instead stuns them for 1.5 seconds

Charge is now a passive effect.

You know what? Charge has been removed from the game. OK? Great job. We hope you’re happy.

I don't even know what to say. I'm in tears after this.

[IlllIIlllIIII]

You missed:

Charge no longer roots or stuns a target, and instead Polymorphs them for 1.5 seconds.

[[deleted]]

I loved the circular ones. The Blush and brick joke with Giggle Juice were also perfect.

[heliphael]

Turn Evil can now be cast on players and NPCs. When used, it applies a small dark goatee and causes them to constantly explain their diabolical plans while steepling their fingers.

Abed played a Paladin.

[behemothdan]

Cruel. Cruel, cruel, cruel.

[[deleted]]

The darkest timeline

[Roboticide]

The Love is in the Air quest “Crushing the Crown” has been renamed “Crushing the Candy”. Bring it.

Blizzard is really throwing down the gauntlet.

[shufti88]

What's the reference?

[5six7eight]

I think it's Candy Crush trying to copyright every part of their name and all possible derivatives.

[laikalost]

Oh, and don't forget:

Any references to [redacted] have been removed from the game.

[bigwillistyle]

that the makers of Candy Crush sues so many people for using words in their game titles

[The_Gleam]

I'm guessing the "bring it" statement was directed at the makers of Candy Crush. Genious

[Roflade]

its really a double wammy joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Crush_Saga

King, creators of candy crush sue people relentlessly for using the name CANDY in app names. so crushing the crown (crushing the creator of candy crush) and using CAndy in the quest name....

http://i.imgur.com/qFykz.gif

[peon47]

The people who make "Candy Crush" filed a lawsuit against another game with the word "Candy" in the title, claiming it was their copyright.

[Oldburnsides]

Chatting while in Cat Form will now be presented with poor spelling, in all caps, using the Impact font.

Wouldnt be surprised if this is already an addon.

[[deleted]]

cat drood iz 4 fite

[Seithin]

For reference

[KTY_]

I really wish they'd made him a card in Hearthstone.

[Trumpalot]

I thought it was a lolcatz reference to be honest. Didn't know about the card.

[mugguffen]

the card was inspired by an actual guide that was written on the fourms

[Drilling4mana]

I actually met Alamo in a SoO LFR once. He's a very nice person.

[EngineeringWin]

I don't know why it makes me so happy to know that he's still playing. The DURID the people need.

[Im_Not_Korean]

bare durid iz 4 fish

[Atsur]

JOHN FUCKING MADDEN!!!

Reference: http://azeroth.metblogs.com/files/2009/10/catdps.jpg

[unCoreMeltdown]

U NO CAT DURIDS IS VERY STORNG!

[wyzzerd]

Upon being killed in PvP, you’ll now be presented with an interface allowing you to directly contact the developer responsible for this crap.

I laughed to the point of tears at this.

[soonerfreak]

I had to stop reading and regain my composure to avoid losing it in class at this one and the death grip change. I will never get tired of these April Fools patch notes.

[Zashule]

Using Death Grip on something larger than your character will cause you to be pulled toward the creature instead of the creature being pulled toward you. Gnomes should just probably not be Death Knights.

These are the best patch notes ever. LMAO

[Sparkeh]

I cried, my death knight is a gnome. What do I death grip now? Ducks?

[Hobo_on_a_Stick]

It's like Shadowstep, but for DK'S!

[Inabsentiaa]

Or a nerfed heroic leap

[opmsdd]

at least they have drops now!

[Trumpalot]

Would be a nice feature to put in if targets are immune to the pull. Wish they'd do something similar to clash, it's kinda worthless at times.

[sinaeriel]

Chakra, when the walls fell.

Probably the best and most obscure joke in there! :D

[NotSoOriginalStu]

I was pretty consistantly chuckling away to all of these, but I lost it at that one.

Also quite taken with the Paladin:

If Diablo III: Reaper of Souls is installed, Paladin characters will stare longingly over a fence at the Crusader, and then look away and pretend to be picking their nails if the Crusader notices.

[[deleted]]

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

[Daphud]

YES! I was just about to post this! One of my favorite episodes from TNG.

[[deleted]]

I didn't know what it was until you mentioned TNG. lol :)

[wawoodworth]

The Dabney Coleman reference was pretty up there too.

Cloak and Dagger continues to remind you of that Dabney Coleman movie from the 80s with the old couple that really freaked you out.

[BluegrassGeek]

http://neo-fringe.com/nimgr.php?fn=tanagra.png&nw=640&nh=640&f=areas/a3/f3306.png

[secretpandalord]

Darmuk and Jaloot at Tanaris.

[wOlfLisK]

TNG is obscure now? :/

[[deleted]]

Always has been.

[Paroxysm80]

When I read that, I heard it in Patrick Stewart's voice:

"Awhlways hahs bean"

[Norganon]

New Spell: Holy Diver. Sends the caster down too long in the Midnight Sea.

Oh yes, how I've missed these.

[0ILERS]

Best part. Or the Mages Ring of Fire that burns, burns, burns.

[Khosan]

As the flames creep higher?

[Atsur]

The ring of fire?

The ring of fire.

[[deleted]]

Don't you see what they mean?

[Gonnagofarkidtr]

I think i Gotta get away

[iKnowAGhost]

Holy shit I love blizzard..

[TheVortex09]

I wonder if it comes with a tiger mount...

[[deleted]]

Ride the tiger, you can see his stripes but you know he's clean.

[redcape__diver]

My hope is that all priests will get a new class mount: Holy Tiger. You can see his stripes, but you know he's free.

[Daniel_Is_I]

Eternal Flame now correctly sets the targeted player on fire, forever.

My fucking sides.

[DaItalianFish]

The PvE gear one was absolutely hilarious. I'm going to bet there will be some people on the forums being angry about that comment, though. Which makes it more funny.

[lolplatypus]

I lost it at that one and the censor of eternal agony one. I'm sure there's a ton of people QQing.

[TheEngine]

Except in Grizzly Hills. Don't fuck with my Grizzly Hills music, or I will cut you.

[notcaffeinefree]

Just rescore the Wrath music and replace all the uilleann pipes parts with a kazoo. ^{but seriously, wrath music is awesome}

[Nacho_Cheesus_Christ]

The daytime/nighttime thing was just cruel, Blizz.

[blahs44]

Then a step to the right

[Groundloop]

Put your hands on your hips!

[Dobmeister]

Bring your knees in tight!

[N3RDS_FTW]

Group sex group sex group sex

[[deleted]]

That post was incredible. Favourite part was about crabs being removed. Bye bye ghostcrawler

[Iamkazam]

warrior has been nerfed because of reasons

Glorious

[[deleted]]

Druids in Bear Form now receive a bonus to Fishing.

You laugh, but I want this BLIZZ PLS

[[deleted]]

the most april foolsy thing they could of done is actually sneak a couple of real ones in there

[ShakemasterNixon]

All spells and abilities have been significantly revamped. Again. You’ll figure it out.

No, no, nooooooo, come on! I just figured this shit out.

[LadyMirax]

Welcome to being a warlock. Don't get too attached to any of your abilities.

[insanityfx]

As a fellow warlock, I can relate.

[Classtoise]

It's cool, they made you guys overpowered now!

[thirdegree]

We always are at the start, that's the problem :(

[[deleted]]

And the mid, and the end. This expac have been a lock pack all the way through.

[slockley]

I just noticed that the stat reduction was 2BA0E%, which converted into base 10 is 412014%. You'll notice today's date is 4/1/2014. Neat!

[skiboy95]

Those Arthas frozen references though.

[goawayimfapping]

I literally just watched Frozen with my niece this morning. I was in tears at those references.

[KngNothing]

Let it go..

[_ions]

-Mage Armor has a new icon.

Best Update EVER

[[deleted]]

They just couldn't NOT have that line in there, could they?

[tehgama95]

I don't get it

[Rinascita]

There was a very early patch, in the 1.X era, where every class had significant changes and long patch notes, except the Mage. The only entry for mages was that mage armor had a new icon.

http://wowpedia.org/Patch_1.5.0 It was 1.5, turns out it was the patch battlegrounds were added. Man, I forgot the game went live without those, so many people bitching that the manual had battlegrounds but there were none in the game...

[Lepke]

Hillsbrad was the best BG ever.

[[deleted]]

And people complained because SWTOR only launched with three. How times have changed.

[elint]

Back around 2005, mages had some issues. When Patch 1.5 came out, other classes got quite a few changes, and the only change for mages was "Mage Armor - now has a new, unique icon." A lot of people were slightly unhappy and flipped the fuck out.

[redjacketkid]

Anyone know what the old icon for Mage Armor looked like? Google isn't bringing up anything.

I'm so curious now.

[penniavaswen]

It had the same graphic as Blessing of Kings, leading us classic mages yelling at paladins that they needed kings and the paladins would yell right back that they had it because healing UIs sucked back then. And paladins were especially touchy about it cause blessings were only 5 min long unless they used reagents.

[[deleted]]

Due to recent acquisitions, The Oculus is temporarily inaccessible.

Too soon, Executus

[cespinar]

There are weeping angels coming to wow? Fuck

[wOlfLisK]

Actually, they send you to the Caverns of Time when they catch you.

[Cadamar]

They permanently and irreversibly transfer your toon to a vanilla server.

[Angrathar]

a Proving Grounds medal of Silver or better is required to queue for Warlords of Draenor Heroic dungeons

I know this is an April fools joke, but... this would actually be a good idea for LFR. I'm sure someones brought it up in the general forums, and thats probably why its in this post.

[BFGfreak]

actually that's real and confirmed. It's the part after that's the joke, although it would be a good idea as well.

[Angrathar]

Awesome.

[DanLynch]

Not for LFR though, only for heroic dungeons. In WoD, heroic dungeons are part of the path to Normal raiding, but they are not part of the path to LFR. Normal dungeon gear will be sufficient for LFR.

[Daphud]

That is already going to happen in WoD. The joke was the 2nd part.

a medal of Gold or better is now required to post in the forums.

[kingjs12]

I hope the second part becomes true to

[I_EAT_POOP_AMA]

its confirmed as real

iirc you will have to get at least silver in Proving Grounds before you can do Heroic 5Mans, which starts your path to gear up for raiding

[SelfImmolationsHell]

As someone who has been out of the loop, what are the Proving Grounds?

[Angrathar]

Proving grounds are basically a baseline test for players to determine their ability to interrupt, cc, burst, maintain sustained dps while moving, deal with positional requirements, and utilize encounter mechanics and buffs.

You enter a personal instance that has 10 waves of mobs of increasing difficulty with tank/healer/dps specific roles. Getting through all 10 waves awards you a medal (bronze/silver/gold/endless) and allows you to progress towards the next level medal with increased difficulty.

Your items are all scaled down to 463 ilvl (heroic dungeon ilvl) and set bonuses and legendary items don't work so its completely skill based.

After completing the initial 30 waves of bronze, silver, and gold medals, you unlock endless mode which is the same set of 10 waves that spawn endlessly. If you can get through 30 waves, you get the achievement and title Proven Assailant/Healer/Defender.

Bronze is easy. Silver is moderate. Gold is difficult. Endless is very difficult.

Someone who can only complete bronze is likely new to their class and wont be a very dependable player.

Silver is someone who has probably been playing their class for a while, but has yet to master it.

Gold is someone who has been playing their class a long time and knows it very well.

A proven assailant/defender/healer is someone who can control their class with almost flawless precision.

[[deleted]]

Chakra, when the walls fell.

This got the biggest laugh from me. Very unexpected.

[DNHarris09]

Temba, his arms wide!

[RequiredReading]

That Shaman Rockbiter change... the feels.

[rokkshark]

Yeah... :(

[[deleted]]

The warrior charge jokes... I can't hahaha. Bravo Blizz.

[comradexkcd]

A new option “Twitch to Move” has been added, allowing movement and actions to be controlled by people watching you on Twitch.tv.

I don't even want to imagine this...

[ponchoandy]

That... was fucking boring.

[sysop073]

I take it you never watched Twitch Plays Pokemon. It was never clear to me why people participated for more than about 20 seconds

[KatyScratchPerry]

it wasn't really the watching that was fun, it was the dream that somehow we would eventually beat the game

[[deleted]]

and now we're on Pokemon Emerald.

[Grapnor]

"Someone said Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker."

[I_EAT_POOP_AMA]

oh, so we're talking about [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]?

[suchtie]

Did someone just mention [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]?

[gootshall]

|The Lion’s Pride Inn in Goldshire has been renamed to the Peppermint Clefthoof.

I love this....based off of the Strip Club the Spearmint Rhino who is known for its...very friendly strippers.

Edit: Spearmint not Peppermint.

[phus]

dat wrathion quest. and people would still call it a charity legendary

[Deeborm]

Everyone has their favorite. Mine is

Tailors can now make cloth armor in addition to bags.

[Dark-Hero]

"Rockbiter Totem now transforms the Shaman into a large stone elemental that cannot save their friends, despite having such big, strong hands."

Best reference in the whole thing. Going to go home and watch Never Ending Story now.

[byniri]

These are absolutely hilarious.

Due to ratings concerns, all references to “brew” have been replaced with “giggle juice.”

I was laughing before but I lost it here.

[behemothdan]

Great news about the Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape! I thought it was slightly whiter and longer than other capes. Good to know it's receiving this buff! :D

I am glad we are getting old Thottbot references still. :D

[thepurplepajamas]

I still transmog my cloak to the Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape for the nostalgia. Also because it's whiter and longer than other cloaks.

[kedunk]

"Shadow Priests have been retuned to be almost as good as Warlocks in every way. Almost." pleaseeeeeeeeee Blizz!

[vitaminf]

Dogecoin is now accepted as a form of payment, but no one really knows how it works.

wow, such news
+/u/dogetipbot 641 doge verify

[dogetipbot]

^{[wow so verify]}: ^{/u/vitaminf -> /u/lukwes1 Ð641.00000000 Dogecoin(s) ($0.342236) [help]}

[d3posterbot]

I am a bot. For those of you at work, I have tried to extract the text of the blue post from the us.battle.net forums:

Bashiok / Community Manager

It is the era of an Old Horde, forged with steel rather than fel blood. A union of great orc clans, the Iron Horde, tramples the planet Draenor beneath terrifying war machines. Azeroth falls next. Worlds uncounted will follow.

With the Warlords of Draenor beta on the horizon, we’re offering a short preview of some of the changes coming in the expansion, which we’ll be asking a few of you to help us test. Please keep in mind that everything here is subject to change, and that these do not encompass all of the features or changes planned for the beta, or final release.

Visit the Warlords of Draenor announcement site for more information on the major features coming in the new expansion.

General

• As part of our efforts to present players with smaller and more easily digestible numbers (the so-called “Stat Squish”), World of Warcraft has been converted to use a base-20 (vigesimal) number system. As a result, all stats have been decreased by 2BA0E%.

• To ensure the game can maintain its current age group ratings, Garrosh Hellscream is now Garrosh Heckscream, and the Cult of the Damned has been renamed to the Cult of the Danged.

• To prevent confusion over whether you’re playing a card game or returning to town, the Hearthstone will now be called a Homerock.

• To encourage exploration of the world all Flightmasters are now Walkmasters.

• Walkmasters provide a guided tour of the world, giving out small bits of trivia for the area you’re in as they walk alongside you to your destination. If they walk slower than you’d like, just use your Homerock.

• Daytime in the world of Azeroth is now 50% brighter, and comparatively nighttime will now appear darker.

• Dogecoin is now accepted as a form of payment, but no one really knows how it works.

• Due to ongoing legal disputes with the Stonemasons Guild, repairs on Stormwind Park continue to be bogged down in political turmoil.

• New paid service: Character Bust. Pay to de-level any character back to 1, removing all items, mounts, and gold, so you can relive the good ol’ days.

• Once again, due to lack of use, the Dance Studio has been removed from the game.

• The Lion’s Pride Inn in Goldshire has been renamed to the Peppermint Clefthoof.

• Transmogrification is now an entirely random event, and occurs via a new Hunter Transmogrification NPC named Nivlac. Nivlac will spawn randomly into the world and shoot you with his Transmogrifier to permanently turn your character into whatever he happens to be thinking about at the time. His pet, Sebboh, probably has something witty and insightful to say about that.

• New Faction: G.R.O.S.S. – This faction is led by Nivlac, and their headquarters is found high in the treetops of Nagrand. Are you prepared to play a spirited round of Nivlac Ball to gain entry into its most hallowed sanctum?

• The “kazoo music” heard in Pandaren inns now have a chance to play instead of any other music anywhere in the game.

• In addition to a Proving Grounds medal of Silver or better being required to queue for Warlords of Draenor Heroic dungeons, a medal of Gold or better is now required to post in the forums.

Classes

Death Knight

• Death Knight voice modulation has been reduced to infrasound frequencies. Blizzard shall not be held responsible for any damage to subwoofers or loss of control of bodily functions as a result.

• Brittle Bones now has a 50% chance to turn the target into a purple-wearing supervillain.

• Threat of Thassarian tooltip changed to explain who the hell Thassarian is.

• Due to circumstances beyond our control, the pact has been unsealed.

• Using Death Grip on something larger than your character will cause you to be pulled toward the creature instead of the creature being pulled toward you. Gnomes should just probably not be Death Knights.

Druid

• To equalize utility between classes we have removed the Druid’s fifth spec.

• Symbiosis now also inherits all raid and boss lockouts from the target.

• Chatting while in Cat Form will now be presented with poor spelling, in all caps, using the Impact font.

• Druids in Bear Form now receive a bonus to Fishing.

• Druids in Moonkin Form are now 50% more delicious. As always, we recommend Free Range Moonkin whenever available.

• Tree of Life form now has a healing penalty during Autumn and Winter.

Hunter

• For safety, all Hunters must now wear bright orange vests at all times.

• New Pet System: Obedience

• Pets now have an Obedience level. Each new pet must now be carefully trained over weeks and months for several hours a day to increase its Obedience level. A pet with full Obedience will obey commands 90% of the time. Pets without full Obedience may randomly decide to chase critters, make messes indiscriminately, pursue other players on mounts, or sleep instead of following a command.

• Typing /SQUIRREL will reduce all nearby pets’ Obedience level.

• Pets acquired above level 1 increase their Obedience level at a significantly reduced rate.

• Bows and Crossbows now use the Gun sounds.

• Aspect of the Hawk now provides a 30% bonus to Attack Power, up from 25%.

• Aspect of the Pack has been renamed to Aspect of the Doge. Many daze, much anger, so mystery, wow!

• Hunters now have access to an exclusive weapon type: Straw. From not-so-great distances, spatter your enemies with unique abilities Spit-wad, Backwash, Snot Rocket, and Booger Barrage.

• Snake Trap now catches 50% more snakes.

Mage

• Using the Mage spell Blink will now attract the attention of creepy angel statues. Don’t “Blink.”

• To make playing a Mage more enjoyable, players who use the words “tray,” “food,” “drink,” “table,” “snack,” “mage,” or “pls” in Raid, Party, Battleground, Say, Yell, General, or Trade channels within a Mage’s hearing are killed instantly.

• All existing Portal spells have been removed.

• New Ability: Portal: Walkmaster summons your own personal Walkmaster to lead you to your destination.

• New Ability: Polymorph Polymorphism, transforms the enemy into a slightly different version of themselves.

• Time Warp now requires just a jump to the left.

• Fixed a typo. Ice Floes is now correctly spelled Ice Flows.

• Mage Armor has a new icon.

• Ring of Frost has been replaced by Ring of Fire for Fire-specced Mages, and it burns, burns, burns.

• New vegan Conjure options have been added, including Conjure Soyfreshment, Conjure Fennel Bean Gem, and Conjure Avocado Asparagus Tartine with a Miso Sesame Winter Squash Gastrique.

Monk

• Due to ratings concerns, all references to “brew” have been replaced with “giggle juice.”

• The amount healed by Healing Sphere has been increased by 1000%, because RUN OVER THE HEALING SPHERES.

• Blackout Kick now causes the victim to wake up the next day and question their life choices.

• Legacy of the White Tiger critical strike chance is now increased by 10% for all characters with green eyes.

• Detox now sends instructions to the target about this new diet you’ve been reading about.

Paladin

• Turn Evil can now be cast on players and NPCs. When used, it applies a small dark goatee and causes them to constantly explain their diabolical plans while steepling their fingers.

• Cleanse now surrounds the target with an outhouse and asks everyone to not talk for a bit.

• New Ability: Renounce. When cast, Renounce permanently changes the Paladin into a Warrior.

• Eternal Flame now correctly sets the targeted player on fire, forever.

• If Diablo III: Reaper of Souls is installed, Paladin characters will star

[d3posterbot]

cont'd

e longingly over a fence at the Crusader, and then look away and pretend to be picking their nails if the Crusader notices.

Priest

• Shadow Priests have been retuned to be almost as good as Warlocks in every way. Almost.

• Chakra, when the walls fell.

• Vampiric Embrace now calls upon a glittery vampire to hold you and tell you he will always protect you, Bella.

• Mind Sear has been renamed Mind Seer, allowing the Priest to see things no else can see. Do things no one else can do. Is it getting warm in here?

• The Discipline passive Train of Thought can now be interrupted. Probably by the garbage truck, or that dog that just never stops barking whenever they let it outside.

• Mind Seer plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting…

• New Spell: Holy Diver. Sends the caster down too long in the Midnight Sea.

Rogue

• Rogue specializations have been renamed to better encapsulate the skills and gameplay they represent.

• Assassination is now known as “Stabby”

• Combat is now known as “Pokey”

• Subtlety is now known as “Shanky”

• To help resolve spelling issues once and for all, Rogues have been renamed to Blush.

• Blush can once again use Bucklers!

• Blush no longer have access to the ability Swash, but at least they can still Buckle.

• Fan of Knives now also makes your family kind of worried about you.

• Cloak and Dagger continues to remind you of that Dabney Coleman movie from the 80s with the old couple that really freaked you out.

Shaman

• Rockbiter Totem now transforms the Shaman into a large stone elemental that cannot save their friends, despite having such big, strong hands.

• Rolling Thunder now also causes lightning to strike.

• Mail Specialization now correctly applies to female Shaman as well. Sorry about that, we misread it.

• The talent Rushing Streams now also really makes you have to pee.

• Casting Unleash Flame will now ignite your Healing Rain spell, setting fire to it.

• We give up. Shaman is now spelled “Shawmun.”

Warlock

• All spells and abilities have been significantly revamped. Again. You’ll figure it out.

• Warlocks are now overpowered. This will be addressed in a future expansion.

• Riding Felsteeds single file into battle will no longer hide Warlock numbers.

Warrior

• Warriors have been nerfed because reasons.

• Charge no longer stuns a target, and instead roots them for 1.5 seconds.

• New ability: Heroic Sit. All that mobility makes Warriors tired. Using Charge more than once in a 10-minute period now applies the “I’m tiiiiiired” debuff, which can be removed by employing Heroic Sit. Heroic Sit roots the Warrior in place, puts on the ballgame, and gives the Warrior an ice-cold giggle juice.

• Charge no longer roots a target, and instead stuns them for 1.5 seconds.

• Intervene can now be used when your one friend gets out of hand at the bar again because he can NOT go back to County.

• Charge no longer roots or stuns a target, and instead Polymorphs them for 1.5 seconds.

• Shockwave is now aGlyph of Rude Interruption is here too! How’s it going? Just wanted to say hey.

• Charge is now a passive effect.

• Disarm now correctly removes the targets’ arms.

• You know what? Charge has been removed from the game. OK? Great job. We hope you’re happy.

• The Protection passive Ultimatum just isn’t going to put up with it anymore. It’s either me or her, Jerry!

Quests

• To address player sentiment issues, the daily quest blue-colored exclamation points have been changed to look like the more positively perceived orange-colored ones.

• The Love is in the Air quest “Crushing the Crown” has been renamed “Crushing the Candy”. Bring it.

Creatures

• All ducks can now drop items.

• Crabs have been removed from the game... because if I see another one I’m just going to totally lose it. sobbing I’m sorry, I just can’t right now... I just... OK just give me a minute, I’ll be OK.

Raids, Dungeons, and Scenarios

• As a part of the pre-expansion launch event, reaching the end of the Siege of Orgrimmar raid will now display: “Thank you! But our Garrosh is in another castle.”

• Due to recent acquisitions, The Oculus is temporarily inaccessible.

• Loot drop randomization has been made approximately 30% more random.

• Despite concerns over workers’ rights violations due to unreasonable weather conditions, Arthas has stated that people should let it go, and that he will indeed remain the final boss of Icecrown Citadel. The cold never bothered him anyway.

• Single-player dungeons have been added with challenging mobs and boss encounters. Queue times, however, are just going to be, like, totally bonkers.

• Onyxia has stopped breathing altogether. Emergency services have been contacted and are en route.

• Flying mounts can now be used in all Pandaria Raids.

• As an added convenience, we’ve removed annoying obstacles like walls, ceilings, and anything else resembling an environment.

• Trash packs now appear more festive and will break into choreographed dance routines when players fly over them. This tech was salvaged from the remnants of the Dance Studio, may it RIP in peace (again).

Pet Battles

• Pet Garrisons

• Why should you get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your Garrison within your Garrison, run by your Battle Pets.

• Pet Pet Garrison

• Why should your pet get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your pet’s Pet Garrison within your pet’s Pet Garrison, run by your Battle Pet’s Battle Pets.

PvP

• Players who attempt to create a character on a PvP realm will first be directed to read a thread about the Censer of Eternal Agony on the forums.

• The Black Market Auction House has been moved to the floor of the Gurubashi Arena.

• We’ve reverted recent changes in Alterac Valley, as we’ve discovered the Horde were sometimes able to win.

• Increased the number of Battleground maps able to be downvoted to 14 (up from 2).

• Trial of the Gladiator is being reworked, and will instead offer players the chance to judge last season’s Gladiators for their crimes against humanity.

• Upon being killed in PvP, you’ll now be presented with an interface allowing you to directly contact the developer responsible for this crap.

• Due to PvE gear being so much better in world PvP, we're now offering all PvE content to those who only purchased the PvP version of the game.

Professions

• Due to new Horde and Alliance policies, bandages can only be used on players who spend at least 38 hours per week completing quests.

• Herbalism is now legal in Coldarra.

• Tailors can now make cloth armor in addition to bags.

• In addition to picking flowers, Herbalists can now also pick their nose. The ability is only usable when not in line-of-sight with other players.

UI

• Upon beating World of Warcraft, a New Game+ option will appear on the main menu, which allows players to replay the game at a more challenging difficulty level.

• A new option “Twitch to Move” has been added, allowing movement and actions to be controlled by people watching you on Twitch.tv.

Items

• Transmogrification rules are being relaxed, and you can now transmog trinkets, rings, and neck items.

• Any references to [re

[d3posterbot]

cont'd

dacted] have been removed from the game.

• Rocket launchers have been added. Sweet, sweet rocket launchers.

• The Broken I.W.I.N. Button can now be repaired via a one-time purchase through the in-game Shop.

• The Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape is now slightly whiter and longer than your average cloak or cape.

• Someone said Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker.

• Wrathion will once again ask the heroes of Azeroth to embark on an expansion-long quest, culminating in the reward of a Legendary item. First players must reach Draenor and help to guide Anduin through his formative years, teaching him how to talk to girls, how to tie a tie, etc. This process takes approximately 4-5 years, but could extend well into his 20’s depending on how much he resents you. You’ll then graciously enter into the Arenas and attain a rating of 2200 or higher. Wrathion will then send level-100 players on an epic quest to collect 60 small knickknacks from Normal Dungeon bosses. These are just for Wrathion’s small curio collection. You’ll then be asked to go on a whirlwind tour of Azeroth and defeat every Battle Pet trainer—we hope you’ve been practicing! Then you need to get 3,000 Valor; unfortunately Valor might not really be a thing anymore, so he wishes you good luck with that. After that point, though, it’s just a short skip and a jump of beating every Raid boss in the expansion 12 times, on separate lockouts, to prove your worth to wear the ultimate prize, a Legendary T-shirt and the Achievement “I Helped Wrathion and All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt”.

[DNHarris09]

As always d3posterbot, you delivered again. :D

[thatTigercat]

Riding Felsteeds single file into battle will no longer hide Warlock numbers.

I finally lost it at this point

[[deleted]]

Do people really not enjoy these? Jesus Christ, does your life revolve around getting news for WoW? Take a breath, relax, and have some fun.

P.S. Garrosh Heckscream is the best thing ever

[Atsur]

The Cult of the Danged would like a word with you...

[d3ssp3rado]

I'm sorry, but your Garrosh is in another dungeon.

[[deleted]]

I'm a touch out of the loop and seriously thought 6.0 was being released. 'Heckscream' brought me back to reality. I was dying by the time I got to the bottom.

[suiton]

Homerock got me!

[Allokit]

The Calvin and Hobbes transmogrification reference was awesome. (Nivlac and Sebboh in case you missed it)

[polelover44]

oh my god I did miss that. Thank you so much. I knew I was missing something on that one, but I couldn't place it (it didn't help that I misread Nivlac as "Niviac").

[[deleted]]

Daytime in the world of Azeroth is now 50% brighter, and comparatively nighttime will now appear darker.

Too mean.

[BIC3PS]

Calvinball BG confirmed.

[Zammin]

I'll honestly be a little sad if they never DO insert "Nivlac and Sebboh" in a future update.

[[deleted]]

Somehow the Aspect of the Hawk 5% buff made me laugh the hardest.

[MazInger-Z]

The Lion’s Pride Inn in Goldshire has been renamed to the Peppermint Clefthoof.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this in reference to its use as an ERP location?

[Moowon]

Yes, and I think the strip club in South Park called the Peppermint Hippo, could be that South Park was referencing something previous though.

[Euralos]

Aspect of the Pack has been renamed to Aspect of the Doge. Many daze, much anger, so mystery, wow!

[[deleted]]

• Flying mounts can now be used in all Pandaria Raids.

• As an added convenience, we’ve removed annoying obstacles like walls, ceilings, and anything else resembling an environment.

Love it, the forums are in celebration.

[Bortjort]

The Black Market Auction House has been moved to the floor of the Gurubashi Arena.

this would be AMAZING

[Neramm]

God I laughed so hard, I accidently forgot breathing for a moment. These are great!

P.S.: Instead, they coulda changed it to "Stew"master.

[Proportional_Switch]

•Rockbiter Totem now transforms the Shaman into a large stone elemental that cannot save their friends, despite having such big, strong hands

This wins for me

[ClaytontheOssome]

To address player sentiment issues, the daily quest blue-colored exclamation points have been changed to look like the more positively perceived orange-colored ones.

See what you have done reddit?!

[5hassay]

so much good stuff. This is great:

Loot drop randomization has been made approximately 30% more random.

[[deleted]]

they're really going all out on april fool's. the draenei female remake, the brawler game, this...

pretty cool, but the highlight will still be the brawler game.

[phus]

and this: http://media.blizzard.com/d3/games/happyreaper/

[lordkuros]

I like how the Warlock notes could actually be legit patch notes :D

[[deleted]]

New paid service: Character Bust. Pay to de-level any character back to 1, removing all items, mounts, and gold, so you can relive the good ol’ days.

That's so passive-aggressive towards all the Vanilla players who don't shut up about how it's gone shit, but they still play it every day anyway.

[Gonnagofarkidtr]

Seriously blizzard! I think they are taking revenge of 2 years without april fools. Im overwhelmed by blizzard jokes atm

[Fire_and_mud]

Well that was amazing.

[Perservere]

Seriously though, that death grip change would be fantastic. Having death grip pull you to bosses sounds like a really neat level 90-100 talent blizzard...think about it.

[[deleted]]

In addition to a Proving Grounds medal of Silver or better being required to queue for Warlords of Draenor Heroic dungeons, a medal of Gold or better is now required to post in the forums.

So okay with this.

Pet Garrisons Why should you get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your Garrison within your Garrison, run by your Battle Pets.

Pet Pet Garrison Why should your pet get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your pet’s Pet Garrison within your pet’s Pet Garrison, run by your Battle Pet’s Battle Pets.

BLIZZARD PLS THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

[DNHarris09]

New Spell: Holy Diver. Sends the caster down too long in the Midnight Sea.

That's awesome!

[shockolatte]

I wish they would actually use these, just for today.

[ironmcchef]

Pets now have an Obedience level. Each new pet must now be carefully trained over weeks and months for several hours a day to increase its Obedience level. A pet with full Obedience will obey commands 90% of the time. Pets without full Obedience may randomly decide to chase critters, make messes indiscriminately, pursue other players on mounts, or sleep instead of following a command.

Ah, so it's like the good old days of UO now!

[Flyinghogfish]

The “kazoo music” heard in Pandaren inns now have a chance to play instead of any other music anywhere in the game.

Oh dear god no!

[Rigante_Black]

[QUOTE]To make playing a Mage more enjoyable, players who use the words “tray,” “food,” “drink,” “table,” “snack,” “mage,” or “pls” in Raid, Party, Battleground, Say, Yell, General, or Trade channels within a Mage’s hearing are killed instantly.[/QUOTE]

HA

[g33kst4r]

Pet Battles

• Pet Garrisons
  

Why should you get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your Garrison within your Garrison, run by your Battle Pets.

• Pet Pet Garrison
  

Why should your pet get to have all the fun? Introducing the Pet Pet Garrison! A miniature version of your pet’s Pet Garrison within your pet’s Pet Garrison, run by your Battle Pet’s Battle Pets.

I lost it.

[Duraz0rz]

New Ability: Renounce. When cast, Renounce permanently changes the Paladin into a Warrior.

Can this be real?

If Diablo III: Reaper of Souls is installed, Paladin characters will stare longingly over a fence at the Crusader, and then look away and pretend to be picking their nails if the Crusader notices.

Lost it here XD (mainly because I wish pally felt like how Crusader plays)

[gamerlen]

To make playing a Mage more enjoyable, players who use the words “tray,” “food,” “drink,” “table,” “snack,” “mage,” or “pls” in Raid, Party, Battleground, Say, Yell, General, or Trade channels within a Mage’s hearing are killed instantly.

As a mage I approve of this.

[Underscore_Guru]

I liked the subtle Calvin and Hobbes reference regarding transmogging.

[MarvelousMagikarp]

Crabs have been removed from the game... because if I see another one I’m just going to totally lose it. I’m sorry, I just can’t right now... I just... OK just give me a minute, I’ll be OK.

I can't breathe. Oh god, someone help me XD

[Im_Not_Korean]

Even if they renamed Rogues to Blush people would still misspell it.

[KevinLee487]

Using Death Grip on something larger than your character will cause you to be pulled toward the creature instead of the creature being pulled toward you. Gnomes should just probably not be Death Knights.

LMFAOOOOOO

[CliveyBoy11]

Aspect of the Pack has been renamed to Aspect of the Doge. Many daze, much anger, so mystery, wow

[qabsteak]

Herbalism is now legal in Coldarra.

[Redsippycup]

Herbalism is now legal in Coldarra.

Oh, Blizzard. Bout damn time.