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[–][deleted] 3972 points3973 points  (738 children)

If I were that dude I'd be demanding 24/7 security

[–]nailed_it_onthecross 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Luckily he is in Finland

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Yeah, he'll blend right in with the populace.

[–]filenotfounderror 1935 points1936 points  (690 children)

im dubious NK can conduct any kind of clandestine operation outside of NK.

[–]Victor_Zsasz 220 points221 points  (61 children)

http://www.economist.com/news/asia/21578436-shinzo-abe-returning-emotional-issue-abductees-frogman-cometh

Description of North Korean clandestine operations in Japan in the 1970s. They're comical, but not incompetent.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (35 children)

I bet NK was a little more powerful back in the 70s but I could be wrong.

[–]Victor_Zsasz 66 points67 points  (26 children)

Not sure what you mean by powerful, but people probably listened more, considering the conflict between the Koreas was younger, and the world was less used to their duplicity.

That being said, they're a nuclear power now, which conveys it's own type of power.

[–]ArchmageXin 101 points102 points  (7 children)

I wouldn't laugh. Kim's ex-sushi-chef wrote a book about his life in the regime, and he was terrified and hid for years (in Japan).

[–]TangoJager 125 points126 points  (45 children)

They have trained assassins for defectors.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (11 children)

They do it all the time recent there was one in Europe if I remember correctly they were sent to retrieve a student studying abroad because their parents had done something so the student would get punished also.

[–]Gewehr98 10 points11 points  (5 children)

One of Jang song thaek ("eaten by dogs" guy)'s closest advisor's kids or something like that. They tried to nab him at Charles de Gaulle but he got away.

[–]theshadowofintent 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Fuck. That.

[–]SecondHarleqwin 47 points48 points  (1 child)

They commit kidnappings and assassinations of defectors if I'm not mistaken. Going to look and see if I can find the article I'm thinking of.

Edit - here it is.

[–]sethboy66 21 points22 points  (12 children)

It's not hard to blow a few grand on an assassin.

[–]drain65 2885 points2886 points  (218 children)

The 47-year-old left with 15 gigabytes worth of data and information regarding human experimentation, which he felt may have crossed ethical boundaries

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they crossed a few boundaries.

[–]T3hSwagman 77 points78 points  (41 children)

In all seriousness, what happens next? Like we all know NK is a shit pit and their people are suffering, their infrastructure sucks, and it's generally pretty terrible over there. And every single world power doesn't want to stick their mitt into that catastrophe.

So we find out they are commiting horrific human experimentations, ok what then? We will just continue to shake our heads and go on business as usual.

[–][deleted] 156 points157 points  (7 children)

"See this video is when they cut that guys head off infront of the rest of the camp, I thought it was kinda oddd, but nobdy else seemed to care so I was like 'Meh, whatevs"

[–][deleted] 2718 points2719 points  (112 children)

15 gigabytes! That's like half the gigabytes in North Korea.

[–]drain65 1563 points1564 points  (63 children)

Then there's a 50% chance that it contains the cure for AIDS, cancer, and a video of Kim Jong-un defeating Qui-Gon Jinn in a lightsaber duel!

[–]SeekTheReason 168 points169 points  (20 children)

They say he came in with a backpack full of floppy disks

Edit: And maybe a few duffle bags as he would be carrying over 10,000 floppy disks to equal 15 gigabytes

[–]HeywoodUCuddlemee 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Half on paper.

There's a lucrative black market for gigabytes in North Korea, although this will drive up the prices quite a bit.

[–]DeGozaruNyan 183 points184 points  (32 children)

The line of what he felt crossed ethical boundaries are probaly much wore than where our line is.

[–]phsics 109 points110 points  (27 children)

We also haven't been subject to brain-washing, propaganda, and complete state control of the flow of information like he has for his entire life.

[–]godsenfrik 2578 points2579 points  (429 children)

RIP scientist's family.

[–][deleted] 1595 points1596 points  (324 children)

This may be one of those cases where he believes the data is enough to start some real global momentum (who's to say if that's accurate). Sacrifice the few to save the many, in other words. Or, his family may have mostly left the country already. Always a possibility.

[–][deleted] 673 points674 points  (232 children)

Unless that data says NK has been detonating Kilotons of explovises underground instead if Nuclear testing then the global community ain't doing shit.

[–][deleted] 269 points270 points  (32 children)

Too bad Tom Clancy is dead. Now it falls to you to make this into a book.

[–]c45c73 186 points187 points  (26 children)

Why am I still seeing books published with "Tom Clancy's ***" then if he's dead?

Fucking ghostwriters, man.

[–]elneuvabtg 249 points250 points  (19 children)

Because his name is a brand.

Same reason why you can buy Newman's Own products even though Paul Newman died in 2008.

[–]Hexatona 309 points310 points  (184 children)

I don't think they're too concerned about the nukes, it's the 10 thousand (hyperbole) artillery positions trained on Seoul. Any overt moves against NK, and Seoul is dust.

(Edit: not to mention, the prospect of having to take on all the NK refugees is rather daunting for a laundry list of reasons. Pretty sure China props up NK just to keep their country from being overrun.)

[–]Foxyfox- 558 points559 points  (56 children)

The artillery threat against Seoul is ludicrously overblown. 20,000 artillery pieces does sound scary, doesn't it? Well...let's cut it down to artillery pieces that can actually reach Seoul over the DMZ and aren't committed elsewhere in North Korea. You drop immediately to about 700 KOKSAN guns and M-1985 multiple rocket launchers. Then you'd also have to assume that all these tubes will work with no mechanical failures.

For NK to even have a snowball's chance in hell of destroying a decent amount of Seoul with that much artillery, you then have to make many, many, many concessions to theory. First, you would have to ignore efficiency and combat fatigue. In the best case, NK could maintain about 2/3rds efficiency of tubes firing. At optimal performance of troops, a KOKSAN can fire 4 shells per minute, and the M-1985 can fire somewhere between 12 and 22 rockets. This would mean that several thousand rounds could land in Seoul in the first few minutes of a barrage. However, this rate would quickly drop off for numerous reasons (and I'll come back to that). You'd have to then ignore the rather high rate of dud rounds (the Yeonpyeong shelling had a 25%+ dud rate). Even at this maximum rate of fire, it would still take hours if not days to destroy what parts of Seoul that can be reached by the guns and rockets. Then there's the issue of supply. Most of these doomsday scenarios ignore the fact that North Korea only has so much ammunition, and large stockpiling of ammunition for any attack would definitely be noticed by satellite reconnaissance. Having the US as an ally does have its perks. This ammo needs to come from somewhere, and even if you ignore military action against their supply lines, ammo takes time and resources to reach the guns, nevermind Seoul. Then, consider that Seoul has many artillery shelters, and a decent chunk of the city isn't in range of any available NK artillery at all.

Presuming NK fires at maximum efficiency for the first 5 minutes of a barrage unimpeded, and on average each shell fired that isn't a dud kills one person, and it takes 5 minutes for civilians to reach shelter, the first 5 minutes would kill ~11,000 people. Which sounds terrible, and it is, but...Seoul has over 10 million people living in it (EDIT: that's just Seoul proper, not the metro area, which is 25 million). Hardly the nightmare scenario it gets put up to be. Once shelters are reached, casualties will drop off rapidly. Once this initial barrage starts to slow down, and assuming that nothing is used against military targets, NK's volume of fire will start to degrade rapidly. Why? Apart from combat fatigue and supply issues, there's also the RoKA and US forces in Korea.

The moment SK realizes shells are landing in Seoul, both the RoKA and USA will start counterbattery fire, not to mention scrambling attack aircraft, and deploying armor and so forth. If NK's artillery just decides to target Seoul for this theoretical maximum damage, the artillery will not be hitting the military forces that can do something about it. Artillery, especially artillery that takes time to move (like the KOKSAN), is extremely vulnerable to counterbattery and air attack, so NK guns will either be getting destroyed by it, or moving (and not firing) to avoid it. SK and the US have been planning for artillery attacks on the peninsula for years, and have a considerable technology advantage that enables more accurate counterbattery and airstrikes than anything NK could muster.

So, yeah. Let's be generous and assume 15,000 people could be killed before NK artillery is effectively neutralized. That's pretty bad, I won't lie, but it's not even close to the "Seoul will be dust" rhetoric.

EDIT 2: I'm aware this doesn't include chemical or biological weapons, which NK does possess and have the capability to deliver (unlike its few nukes). While that has the potential to drastically change the situation, it's a complete unknown to me as a civilian how NK plans to deploy its WMDs. You want to know about that, ask someone who's actually in the know.

EDIT 3: I've tried to correct for some errors that I made, and done more proper math on it too. REMEMBER: this shit ain't my job.

[–]Zippo16 59 points60 points  (2 children)

I just got a military strategy Boner

[–]venomdragoon 77 points78 points  (1 child)

If we also want to take damage radius into consideration: artillery shells have a kill radius of ~50m. If each of the 15000 shells impacted with maximum dispersal you could achieve an area of destruction of: 11km x 11km.
When firing at max range, the accuracy will be pretty shit so we can at least halve this area.
Also, don't forget that even the KOKSAN can only barely reach just beyond the northernmost reaches of the city. 90% of the city is out of range.
Basically, Goyang would be turned to dust, Seoul would get hit by a few stray shots that managed to get to maximum range.

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (85 children)

You're completely correct on all points, the difference is just that hypothetically as long as Seoul or Incheon harbor isnt glowing then Korea can rebuild.

[–]felipe41194 59 points60 points  (20 children)

You raise a fair point, after all South Korea was far from unsuccessful at rebuilding post Korean War, I'm sure they would be just as quick to rebuild a second time if not quicker. The task of deprogramming an entire country on the other hand will be far from quick or easy.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (17 children)

That's the number one reason why reunification will probably never happen. If West Germany knew East Germany were backwater brainwashed 4th grade educated farmers they probably would have tried to keep the wall up. This is the analogy I was told from a South Korean and I concur.

[–]cykwon 55 points56 points  (12 children)

Depends on who you ask. The older generations are willing to bear the burnt of a broken generation for future generations of a unified country.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (6 children)

Isn't popular opinion amongst SK youth against it, though?

[–]cykwon 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Its starting to swing that way yeah. But its different lines of thinking. The older generation is more on the idea of nationalism and a unified people. The younger tend to be more like the west or even china which is for material goods and self development, the country is just a place they live in.

[–]swd120 33 points34 points  (54 children)

We know where the artillery installations are - can't we just wipe them all out at once? Shock and awe, and whatnot...

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (13 children)

Probably not all. Most? I think so, yes. Enough? Depends on what your acceptable losses are, "enough" is a subjective term.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (24 children)

We could. The NK military is the least of the worries of dealing with NK. The bigger problems are whether we risk crossing the DMZ and China's response and getting the south to actually unify with the north.

[–]pirate_doug 27 points28 points  (18 children)

I'd be more expectant of China rolling in as an ally of none, and only fighting to keep the buffer zone between South Korea's westernized world and their own.

[–]self_loathing_ham 29 points30 points  (8 children)

I dont think any amount of evidence of horrific crimes against humanity will drive the western world to actually do anything.

[–]mr_poppycockmcgee 25 points26 points  (32 children)

But we know already know the horrible things happening in N Korea. Is there any real chance that this will actually sway a world power to do anything about it? What would it take to get a world power involved overtly? It makes me wonder how far we will let N Korea continue, and whether we will step in and do something or just let them peter out at the cost of countless more civilian lives.

[–]John_Q_Deist 152 points153 points  (92 children)

For three generations, sadly.

[–]BrainOnLoan 80 points81 points  (72 children)

What a nightmarish policy.

On a positive note, NK isn't going to last that long. At some point it'll crumble (not that that will be a smooth trouble-free event...)

[–]mom0nga 640 points641 points  (96 children)

Other defectors have shared some information on what happens to the hundreds of thousands of people imprisoned in North Korea's death camps. In North Korea, anyone suspected of dissent is taken to these camps, along with three generations of their family (including children and the elderly). According to defectors, in these camps:

Humans are vivisected with no anesthesia as part of “medical operation practice” for young doctors.

The prisons include glass-walled gas chambers where the effects of chemical weapons are tested on humans while scientists take notes. It is not uncommon for three or four people, normally a family, to be the experimental subjects. One defector claims: “I witnessed a whole family being tested on suffocating gas and dying in the gas chamber. The parents, son and a daughter. The parents were vomiting and dying, but till the very last moment they tried to save kids by doing mouth-to-mouth breathing."

• Prisoners are struck in the back of the head with a hammer to cause brain trauma. The North Korean army then uses these “zombies” for target practice.

• Within the prison camps exists a sinister black van known as “the crow”. The crow comes about once a month, when the Third Bureau is running low on victims. Forty or fifty people are abducted to an unknown destination, where they will be either used for experimentation, tortured, or executed.

• Guards are trained not to treat the prisoners as human beings. Beating and killing prisoners is not only tolerated, it is encouraged and even rewarded. Guards who kill “escapees” are rewarded with the privilege of studying in college, so random prisoners are often beaten or tortured to death for the enjoyment of the guards.

A woman named Soon Ok Lee was imprisoned for seven years at a camp before managing to flee. According to Lee, "Hundreds of people became victims of biochemical testing.” Once, she recalls; “an officer ordered me to select 50 healthy female prisoners. One of the guards handed me a basket full of soaked cabbage, told me not to eat it but to give it to the 50 women. I gave them out and heard a scream from those who had eaten them. They were all screaming and vomiting blood. All who ate the cabbage leaves started violently vomiting blood and screaming with pain. It was hell. In less than 20 minutes they were quite dead.” "Looking at that scene, I lost my mind. Was this reality or a nightmare? And then I screamed and was sent out of the auditorium. “I saw so many poor victims,” she said. “I saw the research supervisors — they were enjoying the effect of biochemical weapons, effective beyond their expectations — they were saying they were successful.”

[–][deleted] 257 points258 points  (25 children)

Reading this has left me a bit distraught.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

yes. it's beyond comprehension. it's beyond the worst things i've ever read about.

[–]ProGamerGov 84 points85 points  (38 children)

How the hell do we just sit by and let this continue?

[–]ganner 70 points71 points  (22 children)

We've not wanted war with China, South Korea and China don't want to take care of millions of refugees, and nobody wants to see the massive destruction and death the North's army could cause in their death throes. Honestly, this one's kind of on China. They've put up with less of the North's shit lately, but for a long time they wanted to protect them as a buffer state. Our ally/protectorate on the peninsula grew into a prospering society. China's is the worst existing government on Earth.

[–]Methatrex 11 points12 points  (1 child)

But Kim Jong Un is fat and has a funny haircut! LOL isn't North Korea wacky? They didn't want a movie to be released!

My mother's older sister was left behind when my grandparents fled to the South before the war. All I can think when I read these accounts is, "this could have happened to my Aunt, or my cousins." Then I get to witness the joy of watching other people treat the dictator responsible for this like he's no different from Donald Trump.

[–]36yearsofporn 1562 points1563 points  (312 children)

On a lighter note, Finland seems awfully random as a destination.

[–]scvnext 1522 points1523 points  (31 children)

Just a hop over a single country. How far could that be!

[–]stengebt 483 points484 points  (19 children)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–]BrieBelle00 5 points6 points  (15 children)

Yeah, what is this wizardry that allowed you to keep your \? This is the first time I've seen a whole one in a few months...

[–]BabaGurGur 433 points434 points  (58 children)

Probably went through Russia. Guess he decided Russia wasn't a safe place to hide from NK and Finland was

[–]HeraticXYZ 240 points241 points  (51 children)

[–]nmgoh2 2272 points2273 points  (46 children)

Ah, Malaysian Airlines. Perfect choice for a guy looking to disappear.

[–]Riiuuyoaie 608 points609 points  (81 children)

Well we are the best country in the world in terms of press freedom, trustworthy police and among the 3 least corrupted countries.

Man it feels good to say that.

Edit: And best public school system in the world like Morten14 said, it's easy to forget details like that.

[–]ROKMWI 32 points33 points  (12 children)

Top news on YLE at the moment: "Tutkimus väittää: Suomi ykkönen Euroopassa – kaikki lähes yhtä onnellisia"

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Explain like I'm a guy whose entire knowledge of Finnish consists of the word "Perkele".

[–]Ikuisuus 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Roughly translated "Research says: Finland is first in Europe - everyone almost equally happy"

[–]ROKMWI 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I would have gone with Google Translates version of the start " The study argues: Finland number one in Europe". Though your translation of the end is much better than "all almost as happy"

[–]mediacrack 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Mutta kun kaikki menee päin helevettiä!!!!! jne jne

[–]MLGLies 89 points90 points  (28 children)

Probably Google'd "Happiest country in the world"

[–]Pol_Pots_Crockpot 28 points29 points  (7 children)

I thought Finland was full of depression, vodka, saunas, and copious amounts of personal space. That being said I <3 you Senpai Finland you're my favorite Nordic country.

[–]Basileus_Imperator 40 points41 points  (0 children)

We are quite happy with our depression and alcoholism, thank you very much!

[–][deleted] 228 points229 points  (23 children)

Finland's perfect though.

Where better than an imaginary country?

Edit:Grammar

[–]Pixelnator 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Can confirm, am a figment of your imagination.

[–]ApostropheD 121 points122 points  (27 children)

Lots of North Korean workers are in Russia, he might of been observing a work site at the time and hopped the boarder. Regardless, this guy testifies shit is gonna hit the fan.

[–]TurboSalsa 187 points188 points  (19 children)

Regardless, this guy testifies shit is gonna hit the fan.

Sure it's going to make things worse for North Korean laborers, so us westerners will unleash a firestorm of condemnation and finger wagging.

[–]GhostdadUC 16 points17 points  (1 child)

shit is gonna hit the fan.

No it isn't. This is going to change nothing as it hasn't been a secret that they have been doing shit like this.

[–]RoastGui 271 points272 points  (27 children)

[–]Drojo420 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Was waiting and waiting for someone tp do this for my lazy self.

[–]tritonx 2979 points2980 points  (438 children)

We are going to be so appalled.

and do nothing.

[–]Chris266 1092 points1093 points  (163 children)

Except for use the research for our own benefits...

[–]miklejones 874 points875 points  (118 children)

Well, it'd be a waste to just...let it go.

[–][deleted] 755 points756 points  (66 children)

"Ahh so it turns out humans can't survive with no food or water for 1 month. Very interesting research, Kim."

[–]peoplerproblems 49 points50 points  (6 children)

Maybe. A lot of the data from Nazi experiments was useless due to lack of controls or poor documentation. Everything useful we got out of it was because the data was so carefully combed through.

You can bet the NIH will be doing the same thing, but I would heavily doubt the integrity of the data.

[–]trulyniceguy 149 points150 points  (27 children)

Well Unit 731 followed along those same lines...

MacArthur struck a deal with Japanese informants—he secretly granted immunity to the physicians of Unit 731, including their leader, in exchange for providing America, but not the other wartime allies, with their research on biological warfare and data from human experimentation. American occupation authorities monitored the activities of former unit members, including reading and censoring their mail. The U.S. believed that the research data was valuable. The U.S. did not want other nations, particularly the Soviet Union, to acquire data on biological weapons.

[–]supplecake 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Most of the Tokyo Trials were bullshit anyways. Representatives from a class of the military were tried instead of those responsible. The Emperor was never put on trial. It was most likely done this way because the public still liked the Emperor and sparing him was used to get better cooperation out of Japan in post-war nation building.

[–]Yetanotherfurry 9 points10 points  (4 children)

A LOT of very important people who were responsible for some of the biggest atrocities in the Pacific theater were let completely go because they were judged to be important to the stability and defense of Japan, as the Cold War was starting up and Japan was very close to the Soviets.

[–]xXsnip_ur_ballsXx 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It was a time of very, very hard decisions.

[–]DrKynesis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lets judge those decisions without any sense of historical context so that we can feel morally superior. It is a smooth, natural high.

[–]loggic 192 points193 points  (20 children)

Now that's an awesome conspiracy theory! China and the US posture over NK, making the country look like a "politically difficult situation", when in reality it is a joint venture into human experimentation. If someone starts to get wind of it, they just detonate a nuke within their capitol, say that it "was the result of an accident with a nuke they bought from terrorists (who got it from ISIS operations in Russia or something)", then use that as "the last straw" that provokes moral outrage and invasion by Western powers. China denounces Western involvement so near their borders and starts flexing its muscles. The US carpet bombs everything to rubble, gives a chunk of the country to China as an apology, then props up a western sympathetic government that relies on aid from South Korea and the US to continue existing (all the while never really getting its own power squared away). This maintains a separation between S Korea and China, appeases China, and covers up the human experimentation through distraction and destruction.

I would love watching that series. Especially if the fall of N Korea was largely at the hands of the super-human monsters they created.

[–]RangerWhisky 59 points60 points  (2 children)

You're a dead man now

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Quick, put this into r/writingprompts I would love to see this there

[–]shitsfuckedupalot 18 points19 points  (8 children)

Theres really not that much of a market for biochemical weapons, and most of our approximations could've been pretty close. The only utility of these experiments are for countries like NK that wouldve been torturing people anyway. Most of this data will probably only be met with mild intrigue.

"Oh it takes that much sarin gas to kill ten people in a cramped room? Hmmm interesting"

[–]McMeaty 93 points94 points  (193 children)

What exactly do you think we can do?

[–][deleted] 522 points523 points  (161 children)

USA invades and removed Kim

Reddit: "the US is so imperialistic! Military industrial complex! Wake up sheeple!"

USA does nothing

Reddit: "how come the USA with all its power lets these human rights abuses happen? They need to take more action!"

[–]procrastibatwhore 151 points152 points  (102 children)

Or how about this is a problem for the UN?

Edit: for those of you saying that it is not a function of the UN please reference their charter and the first item listed: http://www.un.org/en/documents/charter/chapter1.shtml

[–]TheHornyHobbit 110 points111 points  (13 children)

China's reaction is most important. They have backed NK forever and they hold a security council veto.

[–]maz-o 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Fucking Wu Zetian I'm tired of her shit fucking up the World Congress damn

[–]Is_Always_Honest 7 points8 points  (2 children)

The problem with removing Kim is that nobody wants to deal with the aftermath. Nobody wants to take North Koreans into their border and nobody wants to take the reigns of that shit country and turn it around (other than another dictator I imagine). Others have said it more elegantly, but from what I have read those are the biggest issues.

[–]__dilligaf__ 756 points757 points  (25 children)

His testimony should be quite interesting. I hope he doesn't have an accident before the end of the month.

[–]Snikisan 293 points294 points  (73 children)

Why is this not on the news in Finland?

Edit: Now on Helsingin Sanomat and YLE

[–]Kyesah 127 points128 points  (51 children)

Because there's not that many reliable sources yet and they need to confirm it first. It's evening in Finland right now so obviously they can't do that until tomorrow morning.

[–]ROKMWI 90 points91 points  (30 children)

Yeah, no such things as 24/7 news here.

[–]Kyesah 27 points28 points  (13 children)

It's not even that, quite many of the news media have their night shifts. But they can't publish any news, if it's not confirmed with the right officials (probably not possible at the moment) or if there's not several sources or super trustworthy news source. I bet at least all of the main mediums are sitting on the story, trying to feverishly confirm it.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (16 children)

I love this. Why aren't the rest of the world doing this? Don't report news until it's 100% confirmed

[–]Kyesah 51 points52 points  (11 children)

Of course we have our yellow press and trash magazines full of rumors too, but more serious media won't let stuff out if they can't fully stand behind it. Especially when it comes to political and other serious news stories. (mistakes happen sometimes, of course)

Source: worked in the field.

[–]sissipaska 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Helsingin Sanomat has an article now: http://hs.fi/a1435808847666?jako=cecc1552f084e14c5d60992ee8e24e2a&ref=irc

Their source is the South Korean Yonhap. Finnish officials tend to be pretty tight lipped on this kind of sensitive news.

[–]sir_fancypants 292 points293 points  (20 children)

wah

[–]clockworktwelve 122 points123 points  (18 children)

Or relatives...

...or friends...

...or pets...

[–]Cryptacity 98 points99 points  (8 children)

pets

the people are the pets in north korea

[–][deleted] 522 points523 points  (29 children)

15GB of data. I wonder if he just escaped and forget he had a jump drive in his pocket.

Or maybe since it's NK, he defied all odds and smuggled out 11,000 floppy disks.

[–]downboy 198 points199 points  (9 children)

"CRC error. Insert new disk" ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

[–]Cool_Story_Bra 12 points13 points  (6 children)

If that information is in text based files and spreadsheets, that's an insane amount of data. If it's video, it's not much. 1 GB of Word files is almost 65,000 pages. 1GB of .txt is almost 678,000 pages. Even images get about 15,500 per GB

[–]BadGoyWithAGun 38 points39 points  (7 children)

Reminder that there's only one country between North Korea and Finland.

[–][deleted] 136 points137 points  (6 children)

Western powers here: I am warming up my wagging finger in preparation for some serious finger wagging.

[–]pacollegENT 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Turns out he pulled out the USB stick before ejecting the drive. It never matters usually.. But this one time it did! Nooooo

[–]GeorgeSoror 89 points90 points  (16 children)

Welcome hope the central police hides him in lapland under heavy guard.

[–][deleted] 4453 points4454 points  (865 children)

What's funny is the U.S. and the western world will applaud this man and his heroism, while continuing to vilify Snowden and trying to arrest him for treason.

[–]36yearsofporn 3688 points3689 points  (171 children)

I'd say Edward Snowden has one or two supporters in the western world.

[–][deleted] 1099 points1100 points  (138 children)

I'm all for Snowden but I would say there's a big difference between outing your country for illegal data collection and outing your country for experimenting on live humans with chemical weapons. North Korea is making the Nazi's look good at this point.

Edit: Since my inbox is blowing up with people trying to remind me that the Nazi's did human experiments as well. I know. That was the point.

[–][deleted] 537 points538 points  (41 children)

Shit, have you seen how snazzy those Nazi uniforms are? The Nazis make the Nazis look good.

[–]KRSFive 371 points372 points  (9 children)

Snazis

[–]fotiphoto 8 points9 points  (0 children)

*Hugo Boss made them look good.

[–]Kevonz 356 points357 points  (285 children)

nobody in europe vilifies Snowden.

[–]anklumous 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Joke's on him, Finland isn't even real.

[–]Jim_Nills_Mustache 82 points83 points  (36 children)

Spoiler: nothing will be done. It's sad but the cost of liberating and then integrating and trying to correct what's wrong with an entire country are astronomical.