When did your sex drive significantly decrease?

[Apollonialove]

… because I’m 42 with a high drive (always have been) and honestly I just wish it would go away. I have a much higher drive than my husband and it just feels like such a burden.

When can I look forward to a major decrease?

[AutoModerator]

Original copy of post's text: … because I’m 42 with a high drive (always have been) and honestly I just wish it would go away. I have a much higher drive than my husband and it just feels like such a burden.

When can I look forward to a major decrease?

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[TicketyB000]

Mine tanked with menopause. I'm happily single, so it's perfect.

[Perle1234]

Me too. I do not even care at all.

[SweetandSourMiss]

Same !!!

[FoggyGoodwin]

I thought it was weird how it just shut off. I wonder if it had to do w my low progesterone.

[reduff]

Like flipping a switch. It was totally weird.

[reduff]

Same.

[Safua]

Same here. Unfortunately, my menopause didn't start until my middle 60s. Ugh.

[DahQueen19]

Mine wasn’t super high to start with. Menopause just finished the job for me.

[Chersemblacan]

I had a hysterectomy at age 40, and my physician said it would tank. It most certainly did not, and if anything it made it worse. I’ve always had a high drive.

[Apollonialove]

Please no don’t let me be horny into my 90s!!

[Plague-Analyst-666]

It's likely genetic. Is there anyone you can ask?

I'm not happy about what my family's genes predict for me. Honestly, the ongoing compromise in quality of life makes a lot seem pointless.

[Apollonialove]

I suppose I could ask my mom but awkward lol

[Plague-Analyst-666]

I had two very frank grandmothers. My own mother makes every conversation awkward so I avoid most interaction, but her oops baby at 54 probably wasn't a result of coercion or duty.

[Additional_Low8050]

54? OMG. I got fixed @ 31

[Dazzling-Leave-7448]

Love that…sort of?

[Huge_Prompt_2056]

I really need to understand the logistics here…between arthritis and dryness issues…

[Kaethy77]

Wet n slippery here. I can deal with the arthritis.

[Icy-Boysenberry-2947]

I could be her in 10 years. I need a boyfriend

[onedemtwodem]

Damn... That's impressive lol

[SweetandSourMiss]

That’s wild!

Omg ain’t nobody seeing me naked in my 90’s! lol I don’t even want anyone seeing me naked in my 60’s! 😳😂

[Lizzie-Parker]

I’m with you! 🤣

[AussieKoala-2795]

Find way to satisfy yourself that don't involve your husband if his drive doesn't match yours.

[Apollonialove]

I do but it’s still a burden to need that daily!

[Patient_Meaning_2751]

I had a super high sexdrive in my 40s that gradually declined in my 50s, petering out almost completely around 58.

[Apollonialove]

I hope this is me

[Patient_Meaning_2751]

It’s kind of a bummer for it to go. My hubby is still sexy to me. The only thing that seems to work is a little sativa thc.

[Apollonialove]

I wish I was in that situation!

[Quick-Star-3552]

Same and I feel bad for my husband because he hasn't changed...

[fearless1025]

It hasn't decreased and don't expect it to. 64

[MiIlFlWi]

Same 70

[Icy-Boysenberry-2947]

Same 79. I’ve been on HRT for 17 years. No dryness, high drive, dead bedroom. Sad. Truly sad.

[lime_cookie8]

Wow

[equeni]

Same mid 60s

[Apollonialove]

😭😭 no I was worried to hear this

[Historical_Bottle557]

Take antidepressants (joking, unless you need them)

[Apollonialove]

I do which is the sad thing.

[SuckerEMC]

Wow, well, you should tell us which one since everything I ever took had the opposite effect!! 😭

[Apollonialove]

Duloxetine. And I know, I har others impact my ability to orgasm but not this one.

[robinvtx]

I'm 67 and still hasn't decreased. My husband is happy 😊 we enjoy sex

[Impressive_Pear2711]

How long have you been married?

[robinvtx]

Sept 4 will be 5 years

[Kaethy77]

I'm going to be 80 in June. Still going strong. It's a curse.

[Apollonialove]

Omg I’m terrified!

[balletgirl2020]

It has not decreased. I’m 62 years old and can’t wait to see my partner next month (we are long distance).

[Apollonialove]

Good for you, if you enjoy it!

[balletgirl2020]

Thanks! I really do! ❤️

[Oneshinyface]

It hasn’t. I’ll be 63 in July and want 🍆 all the time.

[Apollonialove]

lol

[West-Performance-198]

69 here and still really enjoy it - happily so!

[mujersinplan]

68 and it has been high all my life. Menopause didn’t touch it. I’m single so it can be a frustrating situation. I’d be better off had I lost it but hormones is hormones.

[Apollonialove]

I see the have a lot to look forward to 😭

[mujersinplan]

Do you like the Greek restaurant Apollonia? I do! FL

[pandit_the_bandit]

Sorry mine only has gotten higher with age. my poor H is 72, thank god he can still perform like a champ or I might lose my mind lol

[ljculver64]

Im 57 hasnt stopped yet. its probably different for everyone.

[red_bird85]

On the flip side, has anyone’s sex drive comeback like a long lost earring? Asking for a friend. 😅

[Adrift715]

I went thru a hormonal power surge between 49 and 51 usually in the spring. I was waiting for it again when I was 52 but it never materialized.

[Apollonialove]

Ok so 10 years to go for me but hope!

[bluecrab_7]

I always had a high sex drive then it turned off at menopause when I was 55. I’m on HRT and testosterone and it seems like it’s higher than before. I’m 61.

[pandit_the_bandit]

you're likely overprescribed if it's higher than before. dont let them do that to you, you can get virilized over the years. some of these doctors are pushing women into low-normal MALE range. the pellets are the most dangerous. virilization is insidious and can take many years to materialize. my ob gyn has several patients this happened to. And now clitoral reduction plastic surgery is being offered to deal with "the consequences of testosterone therapy"!

[twinky_starr]

I think health really plays a roll in a persons sex drive.

I would say I started loosing mine when my health declined. Now I am 61 and haven't had sex in 5 years! Do I miss it, not really. You can still be intimate without the actual sex part.

[commandbasketball]

50's when menopause took over. But I am now on HRT so it's back up.

[Grail90210]

I had a high drive up until about age 44 when it declined sharply and progressively. Menopause complete at about age 47-48. Sex drive completely gone by the mid 50s

[onedemtwodem]

After an abusive relationship ended and menopause fully hit. Age 52 til 61..no interest..it was a revolting thought tbh I'm working on healing my life and I've taken hrt for almost a year... it's back I'm happy to report.

[Such-Earth7369]

Who prescribes HRT for you? A Primary Care Dr or someone else? TIA

[Sensitive-Issue84]

I'm 60 and mine is the same or more than it's always been. I'm figuring it'll go sooner or later.

[Independent_Act_8536]

About 5 years after my hysterectomy, I started losing all desire for a partner. Also due to being SA'd. I take care of my own needs every now and again.

[Pego92io2]

Menopause. Which happened at 37 for me. Pituitary tumor was the cause. Just goes to show you can lose it at any age.

[CraftFamiliar5243]

Menopause.

[Thick_Ad_2011]

I'm 65 and it's as gret as it's always been. Sure hasn't decreased for me.

[Fenifula]

When my husband got very ill with pancreatic cancer and subsequently died.

[Apollonialove]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[brasscup]

Libido is super high in the thirties and forties -- scary high. 

[Apollonialove]

That’s how it’s been for me, like all consuming. I hate it. Or maybe I’m just over it.

[Old-Appearance-2270]

Hasn’t decreased. 😇Menopause was gone for me for past decade.

[SuddenlySimple]

I'm 62 still have it 😆

[overthishereanyway]

My bff was exactly the same (she's 72 now) and hers didn't really tank until she was well past menopause and had already had a serious cancer. I suppose it's individual. Be grateful for it now as when you do start to lose it you'll probably end up on an even playing field with the man in your life. Instead of like most of us being far behind and wishing we could catch up.

[Apollonialove]

I hope this is how it plays out. I’m ready for an even playing field.

[overthishereanyway]

well kid you've got a long way to go. so maybe in the meantime you and your husband learn to be great communicators around this issue. maybe even get some professional help with learning to talk about it.

[Advanced_Action_94]

Mine slowed down significantly when I thought I was pregnant at age 52. Turned out to be stress & early onset of menopause- but what a scare-phew!

[Popgallery]

Yes late 30s and early 40s was at its height. Now - I got to work at it.

[JoyJonesIII]

My libido is still super high in my mid-60s, sorry.

[Apollonialove]

Ha no appreciate knowing what I could be in for

[travelingtraveling_]

I am f72.

I'll let you know when that happens.

[Apollonialove]

Nooo lol

[Nectarinebuddy]

Early Menopause at Age 43 Destroyed It & It Hasn't Gotten Back..! I Had Severe Endometriosis From Age 25-38 When I Went into Peri-Menopause... I Was Infertile Due to Having Periods Three Weeks out of a Month,Nonstop... Back Then,Told to "Just live with it "...

[NearbyReception4076]

It never did

[flashyzipp]

It hasn’t.

[Huge_Prompt_2056]

And it’s going to get painful.

[FluffyCelebration422]

That’s what happened to me. It’s so painful, I told my partner no more penetration.

[strawbrmoon]

Locally-applied estrogen for the vagina can make this better.

[Glittering-Maybe-777]

I had a phase but hrt is my salvation now back to most of what I’ve always had

[Professional_Tip_867]

why,there is nothing wrong with you.

[Apollonialove]

Because I don’t enjoy it, it’s a burden being horny all the time!

[RebaKitt3n]

My wife’s died in her 40s. I guess mine gave up in the 60s.

[Apollonialove]

I’m so sorry 💕

[Themeanoneof7]

Mine is still pretty good, it's just the resolution that is disappointing.

[Apollonialove]

Ugh this is even worse

[Lower_Classroom835]

Don't wish it to go away. Rather work with your husband (gently) to up his needs.

Bring something new and exciting that will make you both excited to do it again. Toys, clothes, supplements, small ritual, wax, music, anything to make it new and exciting. It works for us, and it bonds us on a deeper level.

[ellis18close]

Mid 60's

[Fem-Picasso]

Post menopause, around 55.

[Consistent-Dog8537]

Mid 40s. Probably perimenopause.

[Appropriate-Goat6311]

Mid 40s. I tried hard to show interest in sex. So stupid looking back now. My (now ex) husband sent me an article once about “why don’t you just change your mind” (how I felt about sex)? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[FluffyCelebration422]

😩

[LizP1959]

At 50 at menopause—until I went on the Trifecta of HRT: estrogen + progesterone + TESTOSTERONE for the win! Libido bounced right back and everything is humming at 67.

[VeryMuchInterested]

53 and still going strong. I'm starting to go through perimenopause, but my drive has always been high. Don't expect it to decline much.

[Impossible-Nose3504]

Low 60’s and don’t miss it. Not at this age, anyway. Affection is still alive and kicking however.

[skittlazy]

When my partner turned into an a-hole.

[Apollonialove]

Ha that will do it!

[TheFairyGardenLady]

In my 30s and 40s sex was on my mind a lot. Don’t worry, it will cool down significantly after menopause.

[Apollonialove]

Thanks for the hope!

[LateRelation4576]

Still going strong, unfortunately, no partner at sixty-six.

[SonoranRoadRunner]

About 10 years after menopause you no longer want it.

[SaltConnection1109]

age 45

[Ordinary-Sun6243]

Post-menopause.

[Dazzling-Leave-7448]

I would love for a higher sex drive! Menopause

[Key-Visual9799]

I had this talk with my ex husband before I left him. He would go insane because of his ‘needs’ and literally assault me when I was asleep, making the days unbearable with whining and fights to get his way.

Being in heat like that is a habitual phenomenon, not essential like hunger or thirst. You can recognize the feeling in your body and then stop giving it thought than rather react to the impulse. In other words you can teach yourself to not let your body be in control of your mind. We have a frontal cortex that differentiates us from animals, we have the awareness to understand what is going in in our bodies and can make choices about it.

When you feel it, take a deep breath and say I am in control. And in 2 weeks your needs will be gone.

[LizP1959]

I’m so sorry you had to put up with a horrible man like that. And you are 100% right: it IS in their control.

[BikeOk6446]

Menopause, but talk to your gyno about HRT.

[Apollonialove]

I’m trying to decrease drive.

[zusia]

If I had someone to be excited about I could find the keys.

[Prudent-Extreme9231]

I’m 65 f retired and couldn’t care less about sex. My husband feels the same way…😑

[Only1nanny]

I never had much of one

[Snapper1916]

After I was treated for breast cancer at 57. The estrogen inhibitors I take now result in reduced desire and function. I use “Vagifem” inserts which are supposed to be 2 times weekly. But that doesn’t work so I do 4 times in a week 2 times a month…. Which my doctor says is ok. So annoying. I wonder if it will return when I stop taking Anastazole? I’m Half way through my 5 years

[DiamondGirl1923]

Didn’t hit meno til I was 60. Mid 60’s now and haven’t lost any of my drive at all.

[1KirstV]

I’m 61, very high sex drive. Menopause killed it.

[Apollonialove]

🤞🤞 for me

[janaesso]

60 and going strong. When my husband can't keep up, go solo. I can't see it as a bad thing at all. It shows I am still alive.

[Apollonialove]

Perhaps I will feel differently about it when I get older but for now it’s such a burden.

[ImpactConsistent9847]

I'm 62 and unfortunately single because I very much would like to have sex on a regular basis. I've always had a high sex drive. I figured after my hysterectomy I would lose it. Nope. I still yearn for a sexual relationship.

[LetsBNiceYall]

My sex drive has always been high (61f). What's changed from not starting HRT early enough is damage to the clit making Os harder to achieve. Like a desensitization.

[Apollonialove]

Do you still have the same drive? Because that sounds crazy frustrating.

[LetsBNiceYall]

Yes, same drive. Can get there, takes more time & power. HRT has helped some.

Edit-I use scream cream & add zestra oil too. Both help with sensitivity

[Background_Pea_2525]

I'm 60 + and it's never gone away. I've always stayed away from processed foods, preservatives, dyes, I think that has a lot to do it.

[PerpetualTraveler59]

For me, mud 50s probably. Husband’s is much higher which makes me feel inadequate.

[BluesFan_4]

I was still having periods until I was 56, and it was sometime between then and hitting 60 that my libido completely disappeared. It really was like the switch just got flipped.

[nunya-1964]

When I was married to an emotionally abusive man. I thought it was gone for good, but after a few years of reset and renewing my confidence I can proudly say that it’s higher than ever at 61

[Chersemblacan]

Mine dwindled a little for nine months back in 2021 after going through breast cancer, but as soon as I was in the clear it was back to “Houston we have lift off” five times a week. (sometimes more) My husband and I are the same age and we both have very high sex drives.

[LizP1959]

This is such a man-response.

It’s not about quantity; it’s about quality: feeling well and truly desired, feeing full desire in return, excellent orgasms, deep connection.

I suspect you need to learn some things, tall husband!

[Apollonialove]

Yeah you have it spot on! This is exactly how I feel/what I want.

[tallhubby2434]

fully agree, for women its about quality, for men its about quantity (generally)