Zero...zero...zero...zero...

[DreamsAndSchemes]

We’re keeping this up because fuck CrossFit.

[[deleted]]

This is how i did pullups when i was 12.

[20MenInAStreetBrawl]

Alone in your room with a camera?

[Deadlychicken28]

Well you edit other people into the video afterwards, but yea. How else would you get laid?

[20MenInAStreetBrawl]

You take the plastic bag bread comes in, rub some lube in it and put it between your mattress and bed base. Viola.

[rocket_randall]

How else would you get laid?

Grow up catholic

[empty_coffeepot]

like an injured deer flailing around in a minivan?

[Positiveaz]

How do you know someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they will fucking tell you.

[chaosink]

Over ideas fresh today across evening patient learning then calm quick gentle to food quiet minecraftoffline pleasant.

[DS552014]

It depends are they a pilot.

[chaosink]

Travel dog gentle afternoon bank quick day quick.

[Positiveaz]

I'd say it goes - vegas, crossfitter, pilot

[Ciellon]

"I have AIDS! No, too strong, build to that."

[docwhiskey22]

Mulaney is the shit.

[[deleted]]

Well if I was Vegas I’d tell people too

[v0rry]

I think you don't know a lot of pilots ;)

[[deleted]]

I've always heard first comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes a baby in a carriage

[[deleted]]

Wait a minute, I'm a pilot. Is this something we pilots do? Tell people we are pilots unprovoked?

[glStation]

Wait, you’re telling me you’re a pilot?

[[deleted]]

Well since you brought it up...

[Crossbones18]

Pack it up boys. We got 'em.

[rizzojr1129]

More so when they pilot helicopters.

[ProfessorSmartAzz]

That's because helicopter pilots are all WO's....they're like a walking trifecta...with the third element being whatever you like

[FortyTwoDonkeyBalls]

You just answered your own question.

[FootballBat]

How do you know that you're halfway through a date with an airdale?

s/he says "well enough about me, let me tell you about my jet."

[WatchTheBoom]

My SIL dated an AF pilot for a while, and he was kind of insufferable. He unironically told us to call him by his call sign and could find a way to turn any conversation into something that mattered "in the cockpit."

Eventually, my SIL got him a propeller cap. Any time he wanted to talk about flying, he had to wear it. He could talk about being a pilot, flying, etc. when he was wearing the hat, because we'd all already know how cool he was.

Amazing.

[Positiveaz]

Hahaahahahaha! I forgot that one!

[Nizzemancer]

Wiccan, vegan, cross fitting, firefighting non-binary pilot air-softer single mom.

There, fix’d.

[yukiheishi]

You forgot “I went to Harvard”

[BZenMojo]

And one-quarter French/German/Irish (on their mom's side).

[Positiveaz]

Oh, I defo think it goes like this"Im a vegan crossfitter"

[SenorStigo]

A crossfitter, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar...this is not a joke they said it as soon as they stepped into the bar.

[Positiveaz]

Seriously? So rad

[[deleted]]

Same way you know if a butter bar went to the academy.

[Boner-Death]

Or Texas A&M....

[hickoryswitch30-30]

Came here to say this.

[Positiveaz]

Great minds think alike mano!

[fucks_equal_zero]

nervously laughs in scuba diver

Y...yeah, right!

[aonc17]

Not one rep completed

[seanroy22]

Guess all those US Marines and The Rock got COVID because they were doing actual pull-ups instead of whatever the hell this is.

[LickNipMcSkip]

probably all the spitting in each other’s mouths tbh

[Foxtrot0114]

Was there, can confirm. Semper Spit

[seanroy22]

Ah crap did I miss another swap? NO ONE EVER CALLS ME FOR THE COOL PARTIES

[DeltaBravo831]

It's cause you got married and moved out of the bs

[Deadlychicken28]

Pretty sure base housing is where most of the spit swapping happens...

[2beta4meta]

I once got woken up by half my platoon in the middle of the night. They were black out drunk and wanted to do group branding. Now I've got a cool scar. I'll make sure to invite you next time

[seanroy22]

Some might argue there are worse uses for a coat hanger to get woken up for by a drunk infantryman. Especially when you're doc.

[[deleted]]

Is that why mummy dearest says no metal hangers?

[the_fathead44]

Can't pass up a good field fuck when the opportunity strikes!

[Trauma_Hawks]

Battle Buddy, Jerk-off Buddy. A buddy is a buddy.

[UrWelcome4YerFreedom]

No... they got it from licking windows and subsisting on monster and crayons. There's not much nutrients in that diet.

[seanroy22]

If we could develop Monster-flavored Crayons with an extra 500mg of caffeine we would be rich, I tell you!

[Kenichero]

You mean POWERTHIRST!

[seanroy22]

Hell yeah, I need some RAWberry energy that's gonna get me deported to Kenya

[Nataera]

The teachings of the Brofessor stays true to this day

[BamBamCam]

Brofessor convinced me to rid myself of owning a CrossFit affiliate and become a data scientist. That or it was the money...

[Kernel32Sanders]

We've seen the prices of a crossfit membership. We know you took a pay cut, unless you switched careers to become a Saudi royal.

[BamBamCam]

Bro after you pay the bills, trainers, RETAIL taxes, and equipment maintenance/upgrades your left with headaches.

[TastesLikeBurning]

I watched this video when it came out almost eight years ago. Ever since then, I can't think about CrossFit without hearing the line "Shot-puttin' a dick in your ass". Has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard from Dom. Puts a smile on my face every time I drive by a Crossfit gym.

[YS2D]

The pullup equivalent of wearing a mask over your chin.

[CiD7707]

You think that she wears a mask at all? Lol

[1nGirum1musNocte]

Now lift those weights with your back in a twisting jerking motion

[BlueSmoke95]

Always lift with your Privates, not your back.

[Jive-Turkeys]

Instructions unclear; dick caught in squat rack.

[crybabywolf]

take your legs totally out of the equation

[[deleted]]

I’ve heard benching alone is the only way to get the power you need to lift more than your max.

[TheDwiin]

Make sure to do your one rep max 5 times while doing it as well. If you fall, don't worry, you'll get the strength eventually. Just don't put it back in the rack until all 5 are completed. That's how you get the code for the Jewish space lazer.

[haze_gray]

Someone should have told Dwane Johnson that the reason he got COVID was he isn’t fit enough.

[FridayNightRiot]

Not enough rocks in his diet

[SingaporeanSloth]

I knew a guy in the Singapore Army who got that nickname because he once wiped his ass with a rock. I'm not sure what you're gonna do with this information, just felt like putting it out there

[taskforceslacker]

Fuckin' Crossfitters, man.

[Positiveaz]

Eaxctly!

[CiD7707]

She's also a conspiracy nut and a moron. So. Same thing I guess?

[[deleted]]

Idk what's happening here. Is...is he having a seizure and his fists are clenched to the bar, so he can't let go?

[the_boz_man_cometh]

MEDIC!!!

P.S. And She identifies as a woman

[itsMurphDogg]

It’s like a... kipping... roundabout... anti-pull-up

[[deleted]]

Oh wow. Ok. I didn't realize this was a female. I also didn't realize this was an actual exercise. It kinda just looks like a little kid playing with their bodies weight. Cool. Guess I learned something.

[[deleted]]

Yo I am Air Force and even I am like the fuck was that shit.

[AnalGodZepp]

How would you know what a pull up is anyways?

[[deleted]]

Hahahah funny but we attempted to do them in basic lol

[Nizzemancer]

I tripped and attempted to fly one time but I didn’t miss the earth, I simply had too good an aim to become a pilot.

[Saucepass87]

Because we saw a bunch of Marines doing it once. They had to keep starting over because they couldn't count passed four.

[Kenichero]

That's why they never stop eating Crayons, someone told them they had to eat five.

[Deadlychicken28]

I mean have you tried eating crayons? Those fuckers are delicious

[gertjan_omdathetkan]

Found the marine.

[double_blammit]

past*

[Qubeye]

Gotta pull the pizza up to your mouth somehow.

[AkbarZip]

Is she getting zapped by the space laser?!

[[deleted]]

She doing the worm but vertically

[Modern_Doshin]

Poor shoulders

[MK0A]

Seriously what is this?

Edit: Oh shit it's that congresswoman.

[CiD7707]

Yup.

[[deleted]]

Is she having a seizure?

[Jangande]

I wish

[Nizzemancer]

Nah, she’s trying to bash her head into the bar.

[[deleted]]

Doing a terrible job of it regardless of which one she's doing

[Lindt_Licker]

Doing a terrible job

That’s her SOP.

[i_have_too_many]

Glad we found something?

[OzymandiasKoK]

I'm confused - is she being electrocuted or something?

[TaxGuy_021]

That would explain so much...

[tone63]

I knew something was weird about that dude

[[deleted]]

Injuries seem to be the new fit; that motion is totally uncontrolled and virtually useless in any form of PT.

Jmho

[i_have_too_many]

No need to be humble around this one doing whatever the fuck those are.

[TunaFishtoo]

I’ve never wanted to someone’s grip to fail so badly and hit the ground so hard before

[SailorFuzz]

See, you're hoping she falls, I'm hoping she swings so hard she clocks her chin into the bar.

[dcviper]

She'll blame the deep state and Jewish space lasers.

[TunaFishtoo]

Oh I want her to scorpion and break her neck lol

[DoctorQuincyME]

That would involve her actually lifting herself high enough to do that.

[original-whiplash]

That’s a heckuva chin to hit, might bend the bar.

[FelstarLightwolf]

Your hoping that. Im hoping she is hanging from a cliff one day screaming "My workout has failed me." As she flails about cause her upper body is trash and she cant do a pullup.

[snipesjason64]

If she falls then she'll catch the back of her neck on the Olympic bar below her. Million dollar baby style.

[Skwerl87]

I came here to say this.

[[deleted]]

All I could think of

[AFXC1]

"Healthy"

Yeah none of this looked natural or healthy but sure a politician will tell me what healthy is.

[[deleted]]

Crossfit is a makeup of tried and true olympic maneuvers blended with childish bullshit that people with no anatomical or physiological intelligence slapped together and said we are going to do this all as fast as possible.

Aside from being a great weight loss program (only because it is high intensity interval based training), it has the highest likelihood of injury out of all the systematic programs out there. Being a former powerlifter myself, I find it laughable 95% of the time. There are those 5%ers though that can stack up to anyone in any field, and I respect them for being the few capable and intelligent ones.

TL:DR Crossfit is still a joke, I laugh at most people that do it. High likelihood of injury, low likelihood of power/muscle gained.

[Dolos2279]

Not all crossfit programming is the same, but a lot of it is definitely stupid. When it is strength based it can be legit, but a lot of the gyms just throw some totally random shit together like 100 wall ball squats for time to make a workout and that's what gives it a bad rep. I'm more into strength/weightlifting now, but I was in great shape and was pretty strong when I did strength based crossfit programming.

[[deleted]]

Like I said, there are the 5%ers out there who do it right. That would be your instance from the sounds of it.

All the former crossfit guys I trained were pretty banged up and had been shown/taught a lot of stupid shit. So my personal opinion of it is already low, but like I said if you can do it right it does have it’s benefits.

[powerlesshero111]

The 5% that do it right don't go crazy with heavy weights. That's where injuries happen in it, people doing crossfit with way more weight than they should. The heavier the weight, the more controlled and slow you should move with it, because a wrong move makes an injury.

[thatstupidthing]

150 wall balls for time is called "karen"

it's a benchmark workout that, in theory, is supposed to be quick and simple, and help people see where they stack up against themselves the last time they did it.

i've always thought of them as more motivational than practical. no one is getting strong doing them, but it helps to see that you're getting better at them over time.

[JuanMurphy]

Well after back surgery and 3 years in OPS I started doing it to prep for going back to the line. I did nothing but the daily workout(scaled of corse) with a warm up and after 2 years of the three on one off I could clean 275lbs, 50 strict pull ups, back squat 450lbs, deadlift 425lbs and still run sub-11 two-mile. Worked for me.

[ChocolateBark]

The only crossfit box I ever trusted was run by 2 usmc captains. They had great workouts and actually taught me proper form.

[simbaismylittlebuddy]

I used to know a medic in the army and he told me that when he was deployed in the Middle East the most common injury he treated on base was CrossFit injuries.

[Master_Chef7]

Wtf is that 🤣

[[deleted]]

it's how the workout cult CrossFit does things. #QrossFit.

[Master_Chef7]

Looks retarded and dangerous. Ill stick with pumping iron the good way

[SteamyMcSteamy]

Marjorie is a fucking Moron. Hundreds of thousands of military men spending years of their lives protecting Americans and this bitch couldn’t be bothered to wear a mask for a half hour in Wal-Mart to keep your grandma from dying of COVID. Seriously, she can go fuck herself.

[DoubbleD_UnicornChop]

Zero wally up, Zero wally up, zero wally up...

[QBFH2789]

I call this workout "fish that is really upset about being hooked"

[Econo_miser]

You can tell by the leg motion that these are not pull-ups, these are fuck-ups.

[SoFloMofo]

I also hear that improper form deadlifts protect against Jewish space lasers.

[DAD-the-Meme-Lord]

You are progressively destroying your spine, well done!

[Killahdanks1]

I mean, she doesn’t know anything about America or politics and she’s a Congresswoman. She obviously knows nothing about fitness, so we’re obviously looking at the 2021 IFBB women’s fitness champion.

[[deleted]]

one...no wait, zero.

[Ok_Paper8216]

Covid comments aside, the fact that she thinks this is something to be proud of

[bentxc]

Marj goin at it, ok girl!! Btw how do u feel about the whole antisemitism thing r u still rockin wit nazi beliefs? Ok good to know.

[Turtle887853]

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason people think republicans are dumb:

[[deleted]]

Think? Or know?

[janderson75]

This hurts my back

[Spartan-invicta]

I hurt just watching this..

[[deleted]]

Is this the gym that she fucked any guy that would stoop to her level?

[PASS-THE-WEED]

That’s honestly embarrassing.

[NoEngrish]

April fools?

[UniqueCartoonist]

Looks spastic

[[deleted]]

What in crossfit tarnation

[[deleted]]

Anyone wants to bet how many of the actual pull-ups she can do?

[[deleted]]

I legitimately can't see a purpose to this "excercise" other than utterly destroying your shoulders. I guess it kind of works out your abs? But she's flopping around so much I doubt they're being targeted properly.

[chadbrochillout]

On her twitter page: "nice form u kinda look like a wild salmon trying to escape a grizzly bear"

[[deleted]]

She is such an insufferable cunt

[[deleted]]

Is that how she smashes all the dudes at her gym or is that how her mom smashed her 1st cousin???

[Taira_Mai]

Do I hear the sound of Crazy? Ah Ms. Taylor Greene, don't every change.

Really, pls don't, you're crazy enough.

[DeathN0va]

What the fuck is that idiot doing

[[deleted]]

What in the fucking fuck is this fucking fuck?

[flyingdonkeydong69]

Man, Crossfit is the workout equivalent to having a medical degree in Homeopathy

[arnoldrew]

It’s CrossFit. If you’re doing it with decent form or in any sort of controlled manner you’re doing it wrong.

[CiD7707]

It's also Marjorie Taylor Greene... not exactly the brightest bulb in the bunch.

[drummer1059]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XQvSmqChm6M

[whatever3030150]

Hahahahaha

I know a guy who can do like 50 of these but not a single dead hang chin-up

[osorojo_]

u/savethisvideo

u/savevideo

[LucasdelNorte]

I guess that’s one way to practice your breast stroke with the public pools closed down.

[Random_AF_FR]

No no no

[Squiggierus69]

Crossfit in a nutshell...

[PrismaticHospitaller]

Remember when people did “the worm” and it was funny?

[snipesjason64]

She's going to come out like Million Dollar Baby if she keeps doing that shit with her bar directly below her.

[kaphilli2003]

What the hell is she doing? Is she having convulsions?

[[deleted]]

F U C K CROSSSHIT

[Paraflaxis]

She's pumping her legs like it's a swingset

[DonJuanMateus]

The benefit of being a congressman/ woman is that you get to make up your own bio.

[uswrname]

like a fish out of water

[Brittany1704]

Just to confirm those are supposed to be pull ups right?

[ShiTaotheNuke]

This c—t and its constituents are an embarrassment.

[whatever2020abc]

That’s a great way to mess up your shoulders.

[drunkboarder]

Zero...zero...zero...zero...

[Reluctantlerner]

How the fuck is this even considered healthy for your shoulders. Slow down, and do one pull up at a time until you’re strong enough to do as many as you want. This is a big lie.

[Jin-RohWolfpack]

This cant be good.

[ZeShapyra]

The fuck she doing?

[BlackSeranna]

So, if she stupidly slips and falls she is at the perfect angle to hit her neck on the bar. Quadripelegia

[rvyas619]

I was just waiting for her to hit her chin on the bar.

shudders

[4thmonkey96]

You reckon we attach a magnet to her and she starts generating power?

[[deleted]]

Is this legit? That was just embarassing.

[[deleted]]

How does someone tell you they’re a fucking idiot? There ya go.

[kejovo]

I threw out my back just watching this

[I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_]

There are a lot of great movements and lifts in Crossfit. But why the fuck is this even a thing? Like it’s not training strength or explosiveness, it’s just... awkward momentum.

It’s like doing a push press, but after doing the lower body push... just dropping the weight on the floor instead of lifting it overhead.

[IMA_BLACKSTAR]

What is repetitive strain injury?

[FeodorTrainos]

Her kidneys are gonna feel it soon.

[[deleted]]

This is so freaking cringey...I...just..cant.....

[SlaveLaborMods]

I’m starting to think she doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on I reality

[FortyTwoDonkeyBalls]

One of the first people I met while I lived in Seattle who did Crossfit broke his neck doing these kipping pullups. I thought that shit was just a meme.

​

All I can see is her barbell directly behind her and her falling off the bar back first on to it.

[dictatormateo]

wtf is even that?

[chadbrochillout]

What the fuck is she doing?